My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter One
Princess Luna sat in her bedchambers, pondering over her latest scheme. In front of her sat a large, dragon hide-bound book, one of the oldest magic tomes in the Canterlot Royal Library: the Arcanus E Draconus. Inside it were the foulest spells known to Equestria, forbidden magic long since outlawed by Celestia herself. It had taken all of Luna’s cunning just to retrieve the thing and even more to translate its long-forgotten tongue into a language she understood. And now, it was going to pay off.
The princess could not help but smirk at the magnificence of it all. For too long, she had suffered under Celestia’s hooves. Only a year ago, when she had finally been released from Nightmare Moon’s control, she had hoped power would be shared more evenly between the sisters. Every time she tried to invite herself to one of Celestia’s countless meetings and audiences, however, her sister turned her down. And on the few occasions she had to be there, it was Celestia who fielded all the questions, Celestia who talked over her sister, Celestia who got all the praise, Celestia Celestia Celestia!
Instead, she was given her own little court of assistants and servants during the night, working behind the scenes to fix her sister’s little mistakes and keep Equestria running smoothly. It was a full time job, between her sister’s apparent inability to do long algebra and most of the nobility’s reluctance to even acknowledge her. Even worse, Celestia was just as terrible as ever. Luna had been forced to endure one indignity after another. That was about to change. With but one spell, she would finally be free of Celestia’s madness once and for all.
She had arranged her room to sequential perfection. A pentagram was drawn on her floor and hidden underneath a throw rug. A large mirror was tucked into one corner, its surfaced polished to a glistening sheen. Next to her bed sat an ancient oak chest, inside of which the penultimate step in Celestia’s doom sat. And most importantly of all, she had requested that her sisters’ prized pupil, Twilight Sparkle, come to her chambers for an “informal meeting”. She had even set up the usual bureaucracy so that she’d arrive just in time to watch her beloved teacher’s final humiliation.
At long last, she would have her revenge.
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Princess Celestia wanted to be doing something, anything, besides holding court today.
Normally, this was the highlight of her day. Here, for a few short hours a day, she could interact with the common ponies. The usual protocol still had to be upheld, of course, and the pegasus guards tended to make things a tad more intimidating, but at the very least it was someone outside of the usual power circle. The nobles were an insufferable bunch, to put it lightly, and most of the official business had worn out its welcome over the millennia. Even if her subjects feared her, and she knew they did, she could at least pretend they were being completely honest and open with her.
Not today. This was just another very long day in a very long month. First, there was the fire in Stalliongrad. A week later, half the grain in Trottingham spoiled. And last week, the cost estimates for rebuilding the palace ballroom and gardens came in, strapping most of the already-dwindling treasury. And tax season was coming up, meaning any minute now everypony in Equestria would be lining up with a reason why they can’t pay.
There were no more marriages to bless, or businesses to help finance, or schoolfoals to entertain with Equestria history. Those were but relics of happier days. Today’s court was just like every other in recent memory: one long series of disasters.
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The forepony of the Cloudsdale Weather Service was the next-to-last pony on the list today. She followed the ritual every step of the way: walk forward with your head low, stop ten feet from the first step, bow, raise head, and start pleading for your life. The last step wasn’t technically in the rules, but was usually how every meeting of this kind went.
Celestia nodded her head, acknowledging the pony’s ability to rote memorize. “Please, introduce yourself to the court.”
“R…Rainy Days, your Majesty.”
“There’s no need for formalities, Miss Days.” Her horn glowed, levitating up a rather large scroll of all of today’s agenda. “Let’s see…you are responding to the errors in the national weather schedule. Is that correct?”
Rainy Days’ eyes were starting to water, her front legs shaking in fear of her approaching doom while her wings stiffened as a “fight or flight” response. Once again, Celestia had seen it millions of times, and quite frankly she was getting very frustrated by it.
“I’m sorry, your Majesty! We had assumed the planned drought in Appleloosa was going to last another two weeks! We’ve already dispatched our weather teams, and there should be enough water for the town within a few weeks.”
“By which point the town’s water supply will have almost completely dried up. Crop estimates are already down twenty percent, not including the tribute to the Buffalo in the region.” She shifted the scroll up slightly, mostly to keep from seeing Rainy Days’ ever-increasing agitation. “And what’s this about flooding in Fillydelphia?”
“Well…that’s why we had the problems in Appleloosa. They were supposed to get the rainclouds and Fillydelphia…”
“…Was supposed to be bone dry until we’ve finished moving out every last Parasprite in the region. There have been three recursions in the last year, we can barely keep everypony fed, and now they’re neck-deep in water?”
“We’re in the process of drying the city! I swear, this will never happen again!”
“I’m sure it won’t. Still, at least you are remedying the situation. I want a full report when the job’s done. Okay?” Rainy Days nodded in response, gave a rehearsed “thank you for not banishing me” farewell, and trotted out of the throne room, the door closing behind her. The suffocating air of tension gradually lifted as Celestia facehoofed. “Okay, one more today. I just have to last a little…”
There was a sudden crash in the next room, followed by the most terrifying voice in all of ponykind. “Augh! A common workhorse dares to speak to Princess Celestia before me?! Guards! I demand she be removed from the castle immediately!”
Blueblood.
Celestia leaned towards her nearest guard. Her normally serene face was now a mishmash of unfiltered frustration and complete astonishment. “I thought I told you never to let him in here again.”
“Princess Luna rescinded the order, your Highness. She wants the court open to all ponies.”
“That’s because she doesn’t have to deal with him!”
The doors slammed open, and Blueblood strode into the room, acting like he was the single most important pony in the world. Celestia shot back into position, putting on that queenly mask only a saint would wear in the company of someone like her nephew. The stallion noble performed the same ritual as Rainy Days; this time, however, there was a sense of arrogance about him instead of fear. The tension from before was now so thick it could be cut with a knife.
“Hello, Blueblood. How lovely of you to come to my palace and order my guards to throw out one of my guests. It makes me wonder why we don’t meet up more often.”
“I am just looking out for your best interests, Your Majesty.”
Celestia’s face was as serene as ever, refusing to betray the intense loathing she had for this creature, the very embodiment of everything she hated about ruling. “Let’s see what you want, as if I had to even look.” The scroll unrolled to its very bottom. “Hmm, so you still want us to raze Ponyville?”
“Why, of course, Your Majesty.We’ve tracked those impudent commoners that dared to disrupt the most respectable of social gatherings, the Grand Galloping Gala. The entire town is guilty of harboring fugitives. Certainly you can see the need to restore order.”
“And you think slaughtering an entire town is going to restore an order that, as far as I can tell, is not in need of any restoring at this moment?”
Blueblood was stunned; Celestia’s nonchalant response was the same as the last fifteen hundred times he’d made the same request. “But, your Majesty! That unicorn, the dressmaker, dared to sully my royal lips with carnival fare, and when I gave her the honor of saving my luxurious self from another one of these devils, she dared to act offended! These monsters stripped me of my honor, destroyed your entire ballroom, and even now run free!”
Of course they did. I was ready to knight all six of them on the spot. “Blueblood, your request is denied. Please, if only for your sake, let this go.”
There was more she could have said, like how his ancestress was adopted, and how she once almost swapped him and Nightmare Moon’s places. Those were not the thoughts of a princess, however. She had often told Luna, “A princess may be stern, but can never show anger,” and for her sister’s sake, she had to keep it up. Even if it meant dealing with a pony she would rather swallow paint than talk to.
Blueblood huffed and puffed, but didn’t blow any more hot air that day. He simply stood, bowed in a rather insulting fashion, and stormed off. Until tomorrow, that is. He’ll just keep coming back. Better step up those land acquisitions. The sooner we can buy his entire estate out from under him, the better.
With the last of her business for the day concluded, Celestia stood and stretched her legs. Her walk down the steps was slow and uneven, her muscles sore and exhausted from sleep deprivation. A dark part of her mind wanted to just blow off her last obligation for the day and just get some sleep, but she was able to suppress that errant thought.
Her sister was the most important pony in the world to her, and she would not leave her waiting.
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It was an endeavor just to climb the steps to Luna’s room. Her sister had been insisting she drop by at “exactly three-o-clock” so she could show her some new book she found. And considering the Arcanus E Draconus, the most forbidden and dangerous book of spells in existence, had vanished from the library only a few weeks prior, the princess found herself harboring uncomfortable suspicions about her sister.
There was little denying the difficulty both sisters were having re-adjusting to a co-rulership. Luna was all too eager to resume her duties over the night, but getting her back into the government was another can of worms. She certainly had the brains for it, and made more progress readjusting to the modern world than Celestia would have, but there was another side to leadership she lacked.
Over the last thousand years, Celestia had built quite the rapport with her subjects, as well as the charisma needed to keep a court of self-serving nobles in line. Luna had the handicap of, more or less, ceasing to exist for a thousand years. Celestia had aged and matured in that time, but Luna was still more or less a socially awkward teenager. (Well, not technically, but the sisters counted the years quite differently from just about everything else, save perhaps dragons.) In many ways, she was still the pony she used to be before her transformation.
By the time she reached Luna’s door, she was ready to collapse right at her doorstep. Her hoof knocked, ever so gently, on the wooden door. Luna’s voice shouted back. “Come in!”
It was right then that she noticed the first real sign something was wrong: Luna’s personal guards weren’t at the door. In fact, no guards could be found anywhere. Still, her affection and duty to her returned sister overrode whatever alarm bells were ringing in her head.
As Celestia stepped inside, a niggling, nagging feeling forced its way to the forefront of her mind. It was the same savvy that had saved her many a time from the countless dangers being a princess usually brought. She was half-expecting a net to fall, or spikes to pop from the ground, or Luna to suddenly shift back to the Mare in the Moon. But no, the room was completely normal.
Well, save for the rather ugly, out of place throw rug, but neither sister really had a knack for Feng Shui.
What was I thinking? Nightmare Moon was defeated. Luna may be difficult sometimes, but she would never do something so horrible.
Luna herself was seated on the edge of her bed, directly across from the door. Her eyes showed no signs of anger, resentment, or hatred, just the kind of sisterly affection Celestia always hoped for. All it did now was make her stupid assumptions seem even more horrible. “Good afternoon, sister! I hope you are ready for a big surprise!”
Celestia stifled a yawn, her brain still in a self-defensive shutdown from Blueblood’s audience. “Hello, Luna. What’s so important that you called me up here?”
Luna hung her head over the bedside, seemingly hurt by her sister’s tone. Celestia immediately realized her horrible, impulsive mistake. “Important? Why does everything have to be business to you? Is it not enough to just visit your little sister?”
Celestia took a few steps into the room, closing the door behind her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”
“I missed you those thousand years, even when Nightmare Moon took over. I knew you would find a way to save me, and that you would accept me when I was myself again. And what do you do?” Luna began to sniffle and whimper, a tear streaming down her left cheek. The sight would be heart wrenching enough to affect even an Ursa Major. “You…stick me with a bunch of busywork while you get to act like you’re a queen! I…I thought you loved me.”
Once again, that little, reasonable, genre-savvy part of Celestia’s brain began to chime in. Don’t fall for it. It’s an act. She’s barely even trying. But alas, her big sister instincts took over. “I do love you, Luna. I always will. I just don’t want you to face the same…”
All this time, she had been slowly making her way closer to the bed, walking onto Luna’s strategically-placed throw rug. When her whole body was within its center, a burst of magic erupted from the ground itself, burning the rug away in a pillar of red light. Celestia reared back in surprise, only to slam into the back side of the pillar. The light had solidified into a tube of transparent steel, reaching all the way to the ceiling before coming together in a makeshift top.
Luna mood pulled a complete 180. The tears stopped flowing, instead replaced with a maniacal laugh. Celestia beat vainly against the steel, but her hooves couldn’t even make the thing shudder. She tried to shatter the tube with a burst of magic, but her horn refused to light. The panicked princess finally cast her eyes on her treacherous sister, who even now approached with a large, dragon hide-bound book. The Arcanus E Draconus! “Luna! What are you doing with that?!”
“Doing what I should have done a long time ago.” The sister’s evil glee was almost insatiable. The tome flipped open to another page, one clearly earmarked from earlier.
Celestia pressed herself against the steel, staring her sister right in the eyes. It wasn’t too far from the pleading stares she often got from her subjects. “Luna…please don’t do this. Whatever I’ve done, whatever you want, we can work it out together. Don’t do this. I-I’m sorry…”
Luna’s lips pressed into a cold, blood-curling sneer. “I remember saying those exact words a thousand years ago, before you banished me from my subjects, my sister, and my birthright! Where was your forgiveness then? No, you have had this coming for far too long!”
A few small tears crept from Celestia’s eyes. “Luna…I’m sorry…”
“It’s too late for apologies,” shouted Luna. “For all you’ve done, there can be no forgiveness!” The book floated over the younger sibling’s eyes. If anything, it was a very dramatic spell. “Don’t worry, EX-Princess of Equestria. This won’t hurt a bit…”
Luna’s horn glowed brighter than ever as she read the finishing blow. The floor underneath Celestia lit up yet again, this time in a light green light. The princess futilely pounded at it, but all this did was wear herself further. A green, mist-like snake coiled from the pentagram, wrapping itself tightly around the princess as she let out a muffled, hushed scream.
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Celestia’s slowly forced her eyes open, the alicorn groaning from a massive migraine. Her vision was still blurry, but she could still make out the familiar sights of Luna’s bedroom. The spell that had imprisoned her mere moments ago was gone, leaving only a small trace of magical energy in its wake. Luna was sitting in front of her, a grin of triumph on her face. “Aw, you are awake already? You look so cute when you are asleep.”
The princess was back on her hooves in moments, her body still shaky but seemingly unharmed. “Luna? What did…you…?" Celestia froze, her mind registering the change in her voice. Whatever Luna had cast knocked her pitch up a few bars. Her vision had cleared up enough to see her crown and other ornaments lying next to her, each quite a bit bigger than before. Then she got a better look at her sister.
She now towered over her.
A thousand thoughts ran through Celestia’s brain. Oh my gosh, what is this? What spell was that anyway? Did she shrink me? Make her grow? Maybe it’s an illusion. She’s just messed with my depth perception. Yes, that has to be…no, that can’t be it. She…She wouldn’t go through all this for something that small.
Luna trotted past her dumbstruck sister, stopping in front of her perfectly prepared mirror. “Oh Celly, you really need to take a good look at yourself. You would be amazed what a little magic can do.”
Celestia dug her hooves into the carpet in response, while her eyes darted left and right in search of an escape. No luck; the room’s one window was barred, and Luna was between her and the door at the moment. In any case, she wasn’t willing to look herself in the mirror right now. Whatever Luna had planned, it was obviously a revenge scheme, and if she was getting back for her banishment…
Luna could see her sister’s fear-induced paralysis. Her voice practically oozed patronization. “Oh dear, is Celestia too scared to move? I never thought anything could make her shut down. Well, leave it to big ol’ Luna to keep this show moving along!”
Her horn lit up yet again. A small cloud formed underneath Celestia’s hooves, and she soon found herself being telekinetically hoisted through the air. She didn’t struggle or squirm; she just lowered her head and closed her eyes.
Even Luna was taken aback at just how subdued she was. Maybe the spell worked too well. This won’t have the right effect if she just sits and takes it.
The princess was gently set in front of the mirror, next to her overly eager sister. Luna wrapped her foreleg around her sister’s neck, grinning from ear to ear. “There, all better. Now, let us take a good, long look at the new you.”
Celestia’s eyes were fidgeting to stay closed; one side of her wanted to see the truth, the other to just hope this was a bad dream and would end soon. Luna scowled at her continued indifference. “Aw, come on. Do you know how hard it was to come up with this scheme? I promise, it’ll make you feel like a whole new (giggle) mare!”
The sun princess continued her struggle, even as her eyes began to water in pain. At long last, however, there was no more fighting back. Insatiable curiosity had worked its way through Celestia’s brain, forcing her head upwards and her eyes open. She gazed into the mirror’s surface.
A very cute, white alicorn filly stared back at her. It was significantly shorter than Luna, maybe about half as tall, and looked the equivalent of a young foal, complete with a few obvious pudges of lingering baby fat. Its tail and mane looked like a rainbow, flowing independently of any wind. The colors didn’t stay still, but shifted and blended into each other in an erratic, and yet strangely beautiful, pattern. A sun-shaped cutie mark adorned the pony’s flank, a surprising trait for one so young. It was a dead ringer for Celestia as a filly.
In fact, it was Celestia as a filly.
Celestia stared at her new reflection, her jaw half dislocated from such a sudden drop. Her eyes had receded almost all the way back through her skull, while every muscle twisted and tightened in horror. There was no more denying it; her sister had somehow made her regress thousands of years, all the way to her earliest memories. They weren’t exactly happy memories, either. In fact, the first time she saw this face was when she was shouting at some frogs to start evolving already.
Her head turned towards Luna, her voice creaking and cracking from a mortifying horror. “L-Luna, what did you do?”
Luna gave her sister a quick, rather forceful hoof to the head. “Oh, you know, I just age regressed my little sister using one of the most forbidden spells in pony history. It is not too different from what we usually do.”
“B-But why?”
Luna jumped away from Celestia, her eyes narrowing as her face scrunched into her sister’s. Celestia reared onto her haunches, just trying not to make an embarrassing scene even worse. “Because I am sick of being the little sister! I have had enough of everypony looking over my work and giving you all the credit! You, the pony so coldhearted she sent her only sister to the moon for a thousand years!”
The sheer terror in the filly’s face was quickly noticed by Luna herself. The rage in the princess’ face gradually dimmed to a smirk. “You know, at first I didn’t think it would work this well. I mean, I was a baby when you were this young, so I never really got a good look at you. But now that it’s all said and done, I have to say…” She grabbed the unwilling Celestia in one foreleg and started rubbing the top of her head vigorously with her free hoof. “I never expected you to be this adorable!”
As the humiliation conga continued, Celestia felt something she hadn’t experienced in many, many centuries. For the first time since she could remember, her body seethed with raw, unfiltered anger, and all of it was targeted at her current tormentor. The very sister she regretted banishing, the same one she had risked her favorite student and closest thing to a real friend for, had not only turned her into a small filly, but was now giving her a noogie.
She threw up her hooves, fighting back against her sister’s seemingly-increased might all she could. She managed to push away the offending foreleg, or more accurately Luna got tired and decided to stop. Unfortunately, that still left her in a bear hug. All four hooves pushed against Luna’s body, but the force of Celestia’s body wasn’t enough to dislodge the leg.
“Let me go this instant!”
Luna responded by tightening her death grip on the filly. Celestia’s face was starting to turn a mishmash of red and blue. “Look at you, still acting like you have some kind of authority. That is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.”
Celestia continued her futile struggle, pushing against Luna’s grip with all her (substantially reduced) might. Her commands were gradually turning into pleas. "Luna, please stop this! I’m your sister! Sisters don’t hurt each other!”
Luna chuckled at Celestia’s words. “Ah yes, you are my sister. My very little sister, far too young to be worrying about all those big pony worries. Don’t worry; you’ll be out of that nasty old throne room soon enough.”
Celestia immediately ceased her assault. She looked up at Luna in puzzlement. “What…?”
“My little spell has made a complete joke out of you, sister. Once I show you to Equestria at large, they will laugh you right out of office! And with you out of the way, I can take Equestria for MYSELF! And there will be changes, I guarantee you. First thing I’ll do is finally get rid of that blasted sun once and for all. All will hail the new Empress of the Night!”
The last words were punctuated with a laugh that may have lacked Nightmare Moon’s overwhelming ham, but nonetheless echoed the cries of a tyrant in the making. Celestia grit her teeth together, her body shaking with righteous fury at being tricked for so long.
THAT’S IT!
Celestia dunked her head down and back up again in one swift motion, effectively head butting Luna right in the nose. The blue alicorn yelped and let go of the squirming filly, clutching her stinging muzzle while muttering some very inappropriate curses for a princess.
“You…you stupid little filly! I should have known you’d be a brat as a kid! When I get my hooves on you, I’ll…”
Celestia spun about in mid air before landing on her hooves. Her horn was aimed squarely at Luna’s face in a manner of moments. The filly’s body shook with a terrible fury as the horn’s tip began to glow. The moon princess’ eyes grew two sizes in an instant, her horn throwing up every magical defense she could think of. She wasn’t lying about not knowing Celestia at that age. If she even had a small percentage of her former power, it would definitely be enough to at least blast her across the room, if not through the wall.
Celestia’s horn began to spark…and then died out. The sun princess grimaced and tried again, throwing ever bit of energy she had into one giant burst…only to have a tiny light fizzle out before dumping the exhausted filly on the floor.
Luna strode back forward, tapping Celestia’s miniscule horn with her hoof. “Awww, what’s wrong, Celly-Welly? Is your horn too whittle to do big pony magic?”
Slowly but surely, Celestia pulled herself back up. Her eyes were burning with a passion neither had seen nor felt for a thousand years. “I don’t care if my powers are gone. I don’t care if I’m half your size. I am still a Princess of Equestria, and it is my duty to protect my subjects from all threats. Even if it means harming my own flesh and blood, I will live up to my obligations! Now, surrender!”
Luna wanted to burst out laughing at the ridiculous sight. Celestia’s miniature height, pudgy body, and squeaky voice certainly didn’t add much to her supposed threat. She slowly walked over to her sister, staring her right in the eyes like a disapproving mother.
Luna let out a small sigh. “I am sorry, sister. I had hoped to raise you as my little sister, perhaps even letting you be a co-ruler again someday. But I can now see that you will be a problem. You could raise an army and have me overthrown, or go complaining to the Elements of Harmony and re-banish me for another thousand years. No, you’re just another problem I need to solve.”
As Luna continued her advance, Celestia could feel her resolve slipping. She lowered herself as close to the floor as possible. “No, Luna, please! I promise you, I won’t do anything to upset you. Just let me go!”
By now, Luna was directly in front of Celestia, glaring over her like a vengeful demon. She raised her right hoof, angling its edge right over Celestia’s head. “There’s no other way. We knew it would come to this the day we met. And with your death, Equestria will finally be mine!”
The princess’ strength broke completely; she curled herself in a small ball, ready for whatever fate her now-evil sister had in store. “No,” she whimpered. “It can’t end like this. Not like this…”
Luna’s hoof plunged downward…and honked Celestia on the nose.
“GOTCHA!”
To Be Continued…
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Two
Twilight Sparkle was not having a good day.
Princess Luna’s request couldn’t have come at a worse time. Sweet Apple Acres had just had one of the biggest harvests in Ponyville history, and Sugar Cube Corner had celebrated with a huge bake-off of apple-themed goods. In other words, there was quite the sale on baked goods, including those apple fritters Twilight loved so much. And just as she’s gearing up to go to market, Spike belches out a letter from Luna herself, requesting a little get-together. So, in the name of serving royalty, she had to take a bath, brush her mane and tail, whiten her teeth, and do everything else that comes with being presentable. And what happens when she makes a quick run to town? All the fritters are gone. She only managed to grab a small apple pie to split with the Princess.
And now she was stuck in the castle foyer, while two of the most stubborn pegasi to ever guard a Princess blocked any further access to the palace. The pie was getting cold, but Twilight’s nerves were heating up. “Excuse me, sirs, but I have been standing here for thirty minutes! I have business with Princess Luna, and I must see her immediately!”
“We understand, Miss Sparkle.”
They weren’t catching on. “It was a long train ride from Ponyville to Canterlot. That obviously means it will be a long trip back. If I don’t get a move on right now, I won’t make it back before dark.”
“We understand, Ms. Sparkle.”
These two are as stubborn as a mule. “May I speak with Princess Celestia, then? Maybe she can let me through.”
“Sorry, but Princess Celestia is not receiving any visitors today.”
“But I’m her personal student!”
“No visitors.”
The argument would have continued from there, had a clock not suddenly chimed three times. The two guards nodded to each other before turning their gaze back on Twilight. “Miss Sparkle, we thank you for your patience. We will take you to Princess Luna now.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, her front temple suddenly hurting something fierce. “What’s with the sudden change of heart?”
The guards made no effort to turn around. “Please follow us, Miss Sparkle.”
A part of Twilight wanted to let out the biggest groan she had ever made since she learned of The Egghead’s Guide to the Egghead’s Guides’ existence, but wisely decided to keep her mouth shut and just follow the two.
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Celestia’s eyes slowly opened, her body gradually loosening up from the supposed near-death encounter. Luna was staring at her, no longer showing the grim superiority of just a few moments ago. In its place was the same warm, motherly smile she herself had given Luna many times in their youth. “‘Gotcha?’ Luna, if this is some kind of trick…”
“Is it not obvious, little sister? This is no real coup, but a joke!”
Celestia climbed back on all four hooves, her body still a little numb but otherwise unharmed. Her eyes were still stinging, while her mind was begging to just let out a scream. Only her very willpower kept her from acting just like she currently looked. “A joke? You think doing this to your sister is a joke?”
“Oh, do not act so surprised. This is no different from the jokes you throw when you are bored. Remember three weeks ago, when you dumped itching powder in my sock drawer?”
Celestia’s eyes jumped wide open.
“Or two days after that, when you turned off the hot water while I was in the shower?”
The filly’s eyes were as wide as saucer plates by now.
“Oh, and how can we forget a week later, when you pasted those fake boils on me and told me I had the Alicorn Plague?!”
“You mean…this was all about those little things?! Those were jokes, Luna. I was just trying to have a little fun with you!”
“That is correct. They were jokes.” Luna smiled. “And that’s what this is, Celly. Just a little joke.”
“Very funny,” Celestia grumbled. She looked a little more relaxed than a few minutes ago, but her face was still locked in a perpetual grimace.
Luna recognized Celestia’s concern almost immediately. “I have no plans to keep you like this, if that is what worries you. The spell wears off pretty quickly. In about…oh, an hour or so, you will be right back to normal, none the worse for wear.” A shining light emerged from Luna’s horn, followed by the dragonhide book gliding from under her bed. “I have been planning this for a while now, and every bit of research I did said the spell only existed in this book. I even had to translate the whole thing from Middle Equestrian to something I could understand more clearly. Now that took a while, let me tell you... ”
Celestia’s face was flushed a deep crimson, both from her seething frustration and her embarrassment. “You mean, you went through all this trouble…just for a joke?!”
“I could not simply settle for some run-of-the-mill ‘fake out the tea service’’ gag, could I? Besides, you have been on the prankster warpath far longer than I have, have you not? Even a thousand years ago, you were pulling the same stunts. But you never targeted me. You never made me the butt of your cruelty. For the last three weeks, it has just been one prank after another, and all of them on me, your sister. The one you apparently missed so very much these thousand years? The one who missed you, even when she was inside Nightmare Moon? The one who does not need to wake up thinking she has less than six hours to live?”
Celestia’s face stayed red, but not from anger. Everything Luna had just said was right. The last three weeks had been some of the worst in centuries, just one crisis after another, and the stress was bearing down on her from all sides. All the jokes she pulled weren’t out of malice; she just wanted something to ease the tension. She never meant to really hurt anypony…and had driven one of the only two ponies whose opinions she cared about to turning her into a very little pony as a prank.
Even worse, she knew that, had she learned of the spell first, she would have used it on Luna at the first opportunity. She was just so darn cute as a filly. And less emo, come to think of it.
She looked at Luna, unwittingly unleashing the saddest puppy dog eyes ever seen outside of a certain yellow Pegasus in Ponyville. “You’re right. I’ve been a horrible sister this last little while. It’s just been so stressful lately that I needed a release. guess I didn’t think how it would hurt you.”
For the first time in her long life, the moon Princess had been hit with the most powerful double whammy possible: the puppy dog eyes of a younger sibling. Luna’s heart threatened to melt in her chest, travel up her esophagus, and puke itself on the floor. So great was the assault that Luna actually felt a warm, happy tear slide down her face. “Listen, let us call this payback. Just promise me you will not realitate with anything else for a good while.” She reached a hoof out. “Truce?”
Celestia slapped her hoof down on top, trying hard not to acknowledge just how much bigger Luna’s was right now. “Truce.” The two hooves returned to under their respective owners. “So, what do we do now? Talk over the last bits of business before your night begins? Trade stories until the spell wears off? Just sit perfectly still and have a long talk about stealing illegal books from royal libraries?”
Luna’s smile returned, resembling a murderer just before they gutted their next victim. “Do you really want things that boring, little sister? I have sooo much planned for today. The fun is just beginning!”
Celestia chuckled nervously, a renewed sense of raw fear coursing through every fiber of her being. Luna walked over to the nearby trunk and popped the lid. Inside were dozens of the most humiliating outfits and costumes she could scrounge up on such short notice. Everything from frou-frou party dresses to those checkered scarves from the ‘80s could be clearly seen, even from Celestia’s low-angle position.
The filly gave a relieved sigh at the sight. “I get it now. You’re getting back for all those times I made you pose like a mannequin for the royals.”
“That is…a part of it, yes.” Luna’s grin was threatening to consume her whole face by this point.
“I suppose there’s no harm in that.” Might as well get a little fun out of this. It can’t get any worse, anyway.
Luna very slowly cocked her head back towards Celestia. Her hooves were already buried deep in the chest, stopping only when the two heard them clank against something hard. The clothing dispersed as Luna pulled out a large box with a single glass lens. Celestia knew what it was. It was the one thing she had wished they had invented back when she would make Luna do this.
A camera.
“Ready to do a little modeling?”
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When Twilight started following the guards, she had assumed they would take her directly to wherever Luna was. Instead, they seemed to be doing everything in their power to accomplish the exact opposite. The guards took her around the east castle courtyard, pointing out such sights as “Celestia’s Statue,” “Celestia’s Other Statue,” and “The Fountain with Celestia’s Statue.” None of it was new. Everypony who had ever grown up in Canterlot spent their whole foalhood around these things.
After that came the tidbits of Canterlot history. All of it was the touristy stuff, like how Canterlot was founded by Unicorns during the Pre-Classical Era, how it became the home of Celestia and Luna after their old palace was consumed by the Everfree Forest, and why the water always tasted so foul on the south side of the city. (Not a thing most ponies would ever be comfortable learning.)
And then it happened. Once all the history was gone, the guards shifted to talking about the local baseball team, the Canterlot Comets. It was right there, when the two were swapping batting averages and cursing Manehatten’s cheating ways, that Twilight Sparkle knew she had been had. The twitchiness in her right eye returned, threatening to push the whole eyeball right out of her socket. Her teeth were clasped so tight she could have shattered them without a moment’s hesitation.
“LISTEN, GENTLEPONIES! I have had a very long day, and you showing me a bunch of things I already know isn’t helping! I have business with Princess Luna, and if you don’t take me to her this instant, I promise you both she and Celestia will know what you’ve been up to. And by the time they’re done with you, the two of you won’t be able to find a job shoveling fertilizer in this kingdom!”
The guards quickly shut their traps, trying to shuffle away from the enraged Unicorn as quickly as possible…
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The camera’s shutter snapped yet again, barely covering Luna’s incessant giggling. “Oh, you are just so adorable, Celly!”
“Um, yeah, cute.” Screw the truce. Tomorrow morning, you’re getting hot sauce in your oatmeal. And not the wimpy kind, either. I mean the kind Spike used to use on his rubies.
Celestia was on her fourth outfit: a pink Princess costume with matching pointed hat. It was only slightly less denigrating than the baby bonnet and bib from the last picture. She did look rather cute, but there was no way Celestia was going to give Luna the satisfaction. She just wanted to this nightmare to be over with.
Despite her best efforts, the filly’s apprehension was obvious to her tormentor. Luna literally leaped to her sister’s side, grabbing her in the same running tackle the sun goddess had used many a time. Celestia yelped in protest, trying to break free from Luna’s kung fu grip, but nothing doing. “Oh, do not be this way, Celly. There is nothing wrong with a little practical joke, right?”
“Yeah, of course there’s nothing wrong with this,” she lied. Her thoughts turned to the camera, still sitting on the side of the bed. “Say, what are the pictures for, anyway?”
“Oh, you mean the blackmail photos?” Celestia began to mouth the word “blackmail,” but was far too frustrated by this point to care. Luna finally released Celestia and gave a friendly punch to her shoulder. “I am joking, Celestia. I figured you would at least look passable as a filly, so I wanted some pictures for posterity sake. I mean, I doubt you would be willing to do this again.”
You’re absolutely right we’ll never do this again! Celestia still managed to give a small, incredibly obviously fake smile. “Well…if it makes you happy. At least nopony else is here.”
Luna started on her way back to the chest, still grinning like a maniac. Everything was going according to plan. “Now take that costume off. We still have so many things to try on.”
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Finally, finally, the two deposited her at Luna’s door. The pie, which had survived the entire trip on Twilight’s back, was now far too cold to really enjoy, and the Unicorn’s temper was far too heated for a civil discourse. The two guards quickly bowed their heads and hurried back to their posts.
Twilight took a moment to regain her composure before knocking…
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Celestia pulled the ridiculous costume off, tossing it aside like a used rag. Luna was reaching into the chest for a new outfit when she heard a knock on the door. The filly’s fur practically stood on end. Luna, on the other hand, knew exactly who it was. “I did not expect her to arrive this late.”
Celestia felt a cold shiver run down her spine. “Who’s late?”
“Well, I thought you might be a bit uncomfortable like this, so I invited one of your favorite ponies for a nice, little visit. I am certain your faithful student won’t think less of you after seeing you like this. Would you not agree?”
Celestia’s entire body locked up, her jaw dropping halfway to the floor, eyes shaking in blind terror. Faithful student…Twilight Sparkle…No…Can’t….No….
“You did not really think I was just going to keep a little beauty like you to myself, did you? I bet she cannot wait to see your new makeover!”
There was another knock. Luna was as giddy as a schoolfilly by now, happily skipping to the door. “I will be right there!”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Celestia threw herself in front of the door, pushing against it with all her tiny weight. All Luna had to do was telekinetically scoot her aside and, as gracefully as possible, pull it open. On the other side stood Twilight Sparkle, personal protégé to Princess Celestia and one of the most powerful non-goddess ponies in Equestria. The purple Unicorn bowed before Luna, her flustered expression quickly relaxing into one of refined serenity. Celestia decided to go the opposite direction, planting herself against the wall and trying to be as tiny as possible. It was working, too. Twilight didn’t even seem to notice her ruler and teacher was even in the room.
“Princess Luna, I apologize for my delay. I had some trouble with the guards.”
Luna put on her best Princess face, while Celestia finished her transformation into a white, furry ball. “Do not worry about it. Security can be a little overzealous sometimes. If they had their way, Celestia and I would only walk around in full plate. Please, come in.”
Twilight rose on all fours and walked inside, the door closing behind her. Luna levitated the pie off her back, setting it on a nearby dresser. The mere smell was enough to delight the Princess; it reminded her of that party in Ponyville, on her first day as a free mare in a thousand years. It was almost enough to make her forget her evil scheming, if only for a few brief moments. “I do thank you for coming. I know it is quite a trip here from Ponyville, but this gives us another chance to talk. We could not speak very long during Nightmare Night, after all.”
Twilight gave a quick bow, trying her best not to show her frayed nerves. Luna might not have been powerful enough to send her into orbit by herself, but finding herself teleported a few thousand feet off the ground was a scary enough thought. “It’s no problem at all, Princess.”
“I supposes we should take this chance to be better acquainted. After all, you are my sister’s student, and as co-ruler of Equestria, it is my duty to assist you in whatever matters, academic or not, you request my help with.”
“Thank you kindly, Princess Luna, but I’m sure your sister is all the help I need.” She immediately caught her slip-up. “I didn’t mean to say she was better than you, or anything. I just meant, eh, she’s been my teacher for so long. I don’t think anypony really knows you- CRAPTHAT’SNOTWHATIMEANT!”
Right now, Twilight’s chances of survival were sinking faster than raft carrying a thousand anvils. Luna facehoofed at her sister’s protégé’s stammering. “Do not worry so much. I am not so petty as to banish you for a few little mistakes.”
Twilight was still breathing like a leaking air pump, but seemed to calm down at least a little. “Th-Thank you, Your Highness. I’m just a little worried about Princess Celestia. The guards at the front said she wasn’t taking any visitors, and she usually has enough time to at least let me say hello when I come by. Will she be joining us today?”
The blue Alicorn did her best not to seem upset at Twilight’s unwitting insult. Doesn’t matter the millennia, all they ever care about is her. “Oh, you know my sister. Sometimes she gets a…little too involved in her work. And then sometimes, she procrastinates like a foal until the deadline. You know, like those fillies in school.”
If Twilight was getting any of Luna’s puns, she sure wasn’t showing it. Her expression was more of concern for the former Nightmare Moon’s sanity than anything else. She was getting ready to say something else when her hoof got caught on the discarded Princess costume. “Where’d this come from?”
Luna let out a small sigh. Better now than never; the spell’s going to wear off soon, anyway. “That? Oh, it is just part of a little fun I was having with my sister.” She reached over for the discarded camera. “Speaking of which, I have a few pictures I would like you to see…”
“LUNA, STOP!”
Just as planned.
Possible humiliation at the hooves of her own student was enough to break Celestia out of her fetal position and into action. She galloped from her side of the room, jumped onto Luna’s bed, and charged for the camera. Sadly, she wasn’t used to running so fast with such small legs; she tripped on a fold in the bedspread, flew over the side of the bed, and crashed headfirst into the dresser. The impact knocked the pie over the edge, sending it crashing upside-down onto the Alicorn’s face.
Twilight leaped to the filly’s side, pulling the pie pan off her face. Beneath the sugary, gooey remains of the dessert was a white filly with a rainbow mane. She didn’t even have to see the little pony’s sun-shaped cutie mark to know who this was. She turned back to Luna. The other Alicorn was making her way to Celestia’s other side, her bemused expression having shifted to one of pure horror. “Pr-Pr-Princess Luna, is…is this…?”
Screw decorum. She wasn’t supposed to get hurt...like this, anyway. “You mean my sister, your teacher, the one you all adore so very much?” said Luna. “Yes, of course it is. How many other rainbow-maned Alicorns do you know?” She crouched on all fours and brought her face right next to Celestia’s. “Are you all right, sister?”
Celestia didn’t respond at first. She was still dizzy from the concussion, but that wasn’t what was troubling her. The mere fact she had a concussion was the problem. She had faced her fair share of emotional torments over the years, but real, physical pain? The feeling brought back very unwelcome memories from a long time ago, memories that brought back feelings of helplessness and agony. Even worse, she was covered in apple pie, in front of the same Unicorn she had once been a mentor to, the only pony besides Luna whose opinion mattered to her.
Why is she doing this? I tried to be a good sister. I just wanted to be a good Princess. I…I just wanted Luna to have some fun. Does she hate me? Does Twilight think I’m a joke, too? I…I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE…
Any sense of her former maturity, the countless millennia spent inventing court protocol and royal etiquette, finally collapsed under the torrent of emotions attacking from every corner of her being. The Alicorn filly burst into a wailing, sobbing mess, burying her face in her hooves and trying to look as small as possible.
Twilight was stunned at first, still trying to come to grips with what she was seeing. Princess Celestia, the most kindhearted ruler anypony could ask for, the very pony she had idolized her entire youth, was right now crying louder than any filly she had ever heard before. She couldn’t even imagine either of the goddesses as anything other than their current, seemingly eternal forms.
Even so, a hurt little filly was a hurt little filly. She reached over a hoof, stroking her teacher’s shoulder in an attempt to reassure her. “Don’t worry, Princess. It’s okay. We’re all here for you.” All her condescending words accomplished was making Celestia sob even harder.
Luna’s sense of victory, the warming mirth of a prank done well, crumbled around her as reality set in. “Sister, I did not mean for it to go this far.”
The frank admission of guilt snapped Twilight’s face towards the moon Princess. Her face was twisted into something almost completely unponylike. You mean you did this?”
“It was supposed to be a little prank! I make her a filly, dress her up in some costumes, and invite you over for a visit! We share some laughs, she turns back to normal, and we all put this behind us!”
“So THAT’S why you dragged me here?! So I could help you humiliate your sister?! I lost my whole day so you could pull a mean-spirited joke?!” The edges of Twilight’s mane and tail began to flicker and smoke, the same way Celestia’s did when she was well and truly angry. Right now, she didn’t care that said Princess could probably grind her into paste at a moment’s notice.
She leaned back over to the still-crying Celestia and started to nuzzle her softly. Her eyes were still locked on Luna, giving her a stare that would have made Fluttershy proud. The blue Alicorn was busy making herself as small as possible, feeling less like an immortal goddess and more like a foal about to receive a time out. “There there, it’s going to be all right. I’m sure that big meanie Luna’s very sorry. She’s going to make everything better. Just you wait.”
Luna limped back to the Arcanus E Draconus, feeling about two inches tall. The book was still opened to the spell’s page, its text still from a period of history she had skipped. Reaching out with her horn’s power, she pulled a small notebook from under the bed, containing the translated text. She had already rote memorized the spell, but at least this would help her translate a counter spell out.
It was that moment she noticed something she had missed before. On the very bottom of the page was a small footnote, half-faded but still legible. Luna quickly went to work, flipping between the various pages of notes and the tiny footnote.
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Several minutes passed, and Celestia was finally starting to calm down. Her eyes were still red and puffy, but she wasn’t throwing fits or trying to fight off Twilight’s advances anymore. Instead, she was just looking at her student. If anything positive could have come from this, it was proof that Alicorn were still larger even as foals; she was maybe a head or a head-and-a-half shorter than the full-grown Twilight.
The Unicorn gave a reassuring grin, one that Celestia slowly flashed back in return. She was busy levitating a towel around Celestia’s body, wiping up as much of the pie mess as she could. The rest of the stains would come off in the bath, at any rate. “Feel better?”
“Yeah, I guess,” Celestia sniffled. That sense of royal refinement was gradually returning to her voice at least. “I apologize. You shouldn’t have to see me like this. I understand if you are a bit puzzled by my recent behavior.”
Twilight barely contained a giggle. Any attempt at sounding authoritative and regal just sounded ridiculous with her high-pitched voice. Celestia’s face fell for about the twelfth time that day. Not even my own student takes me seriously anymore.
“OH NO!”
The two turned back to Luna. The Princess was frantically switching between reading the book’s pages and her own little notebook. She glanced back at the still upset duo, her face betraying her “I’m so dead” mentality. “Um…Celestia? Do you remember when I said the spell wore off?”
“Yeah?”
“I… may have mistranslated that part of the spell.”
Both ponies were back on their hooves and next to Luna in an instant. Neither seemed particularly happy with this turn of events, either. “What do you mean, mistranslated?!” shouted Celestia.
“Well…it’s not two hours like I thought it was.”
“How long?” asked Twilight.
“Um, this footnote says, ‘Do not cast this spell on Princess Celestia or any other Alicorn. Their divine biology will resist the magic’s natural ebbing effect. Any casting of this spell on such a being can only be dispelled or destroyed by a counterspell.’”
Celestia’s jaw went slack, mumbling some of the most unladylike curses imaginable. Twilight was seething, but at the very least somewhat calm. “What’s the problem, then? Just use the counterspell!”
“THERE IS NO COUNTERSPELL!” gasped Luna. “At least, there’s not one in this book! It will take forever to find one to undue something this big! I… I think we’re stuck.” She gathered her courage and looked back at Celestia. The filly was gritting her teeth, her right hoof pawing the floor. As for Twilight, she would probably let her go ahead and charge if she wanted. Another trip to the moon was probably the best case scenario right now.
“Um… gotcha?”
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TO BE CONTINUED…
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Three
“N-N-Now girls, there’s nothing to get excited about. Just…give me a little time, and I will fix this.”
Luna very slowly backed away from the vengeful duo. Her brow was sweating like a whole row of leaky faucets, while her eyes darted back and forth for something, anything, she could use to get out of this predicament. Unless she could come up with an appropriate counterspell in the next ten seconds, however, there was none to be had.
Celestia was still rightfully livid; her normally regal and forgiving eyes were giving her sister a stare so powerful it could melt steel. Twilight was still fuming, her anger gradually turning to discomfort as she witnessed the filly’s transition from “motherly” to “must kill.”
“A little time? A LITTLE TIME?!” growled Celestia. “You stole one of the most forbidden spellbooks in all of Equestria. You never finished translating the whole page before deciding to use it. You cast a spell on me without knowing how to reverse it. And all you can say is ‘Give me more time?’”
By this point, Luna had reared herself all the way up against the far wall. Celestia had yet to move a step, but she didn’t have to. Her very demeanor was enough to frighten the nigh-invulnerable moon princess into a pleading wreck. “B-B-But… I didn’t mean to hurt anypony!”
“Then why did you do it?” snapped Twilight.
“B-B-Because Celestia started it! She got a little stressed at work, so she just…she just…made me the target of her little jokes!” Luna was halfway between hysteria and sobbing by this point. “I just wanted to get back at her. I wanted her to stop picking on me!”
By now, it was a miracle Celestia’s teeth hadn’t ground themselves into stubs. “And that made you think something like this was a good idea? Really? You humiliated me in front of my student! You made me think my little sister, the same pony I had to banish for a thousand years, was trying to conquer Equestria again! Do you have any idea how much your little bit of fun has hurt me?”
Something snapped inside Luna. Her self-pity and shame at the situation gave way to deep wells of resentment and hushed scorn. “Hurt you?” She pushed herself off the wall and into the air, wings extended, gliding forward and landing right in front of Celestia with a loud stomp. The filly’s willpower began to crumble as her now-older sister leaned towards her, the two touching nose to nose.
“Let’s talk about hurting others. How about the way you’ve treated me since I came back? You talk about how you missed me so much and all this…this manure about us ruling together, and what’s the first thing you do? You stick me in the background with all the real work while you get to attend tea parties and galas!”
Celestia’s footing gradually returned. She anchored herself into place with all four hooves, while a sneer of uncontrollable and probably unpleasant fury contorted itself across her face. “You think that’s all my job is? I have meetings around the clock with the dullest, most insufferable ponies to ever walk Equestria! Everything that goes wrong on my watch is my fault, whether I could prevent it or not! And at least I don’t spend my whole day wallowing like you, Luna!”
“Wallowing?!”
“I mean your ridiculous self-pity routine. ‘Oh, I got jealous because everypony loved my big sister and then I tried to bring about eternal night and nopony will ever forgive me, boo hoo hoo.’ Yes, what you did was wrong, but you spend all day moping in your room about it. And whenever I try to get you to loosen up, you act like I’m some sort of monster!”
“You call your jokes ‘loosening up?’ They were something a schoolfoal would think of! I don’t think I even needed the spell. You never grew up anyway!”
“I’M MORE OF A GROWN UP THAN YOU, AND YOU ARE GOING TO FIX THIS NOW!”
“So says the pony throwing a temper tantrum.”
“I AM NOT THROWING A TANTRUM!” Celestia was howling by now; it was a miracle half the palace hadn’t heard her screaming. She would have continued to scream had a zipper not suddenly appeared over her mouth.
Twilight walked between the two, the last shimmers of light dimming from her horn. A combination of shock and horror had kept her quiet the last few minutes, while the two most powerful beings in all of Equestria seemed poised to reenact a long-settled battle. These weren’t the ponies she knew and loved. They were both acting like spoiled brats.
With a great deal of effort, Twilight pushed her personal feelings aside and let out as insincere and fake a grin as one would ever see. It was time to play peacekeeper. “Well, it seems we have some issues to work out. First things first, I think you two need to apologize to each other.”
Luna glanced briefly at Twilight, a look of cold indifference in her eyes, before turning her sneer back on Celestia. The filly just kept staring the other princess down, looking for any possible sign of weakness before attacking. Her hooves were trying to fiddle with the zipper, but fortunately for all the ear drums in the vicinity, a single flat digit was far less effective at the task than Spike’s claws.
Twilight sighed in frustration. This was not going to be easy. “…Look, I know you’re both upset. You’ve all said and done things you shouldn’t have, but you’re sisters, remember? Even more, you’re the Royal Pony Sisters. You’ve known each other since before Equestria began, or at least that’s what Princess Celestia’s told me. Can’t you just put this incident aside, just for the moment?”
Luna’s eyes softened, but only slightly. She was still angry at her sister; both for her apparent second banishment and for the whole run of practical jokes. Even so, she could see the pain on her sisters’ face, and could feel they both feared just how powerful this spell was if it could make Celestia act like such a foal. All her life, Celestia had been the bigger of the two, the strongest and wisest of the two. Now she looked so small and helpless. Her words still hurt, sure, but the situation had been tough on both of them. Maybe they could work together…
Celestia stared up at Luna (up at Luna) as she grappled with her student’s words. Her sister had much to answer for, and most definitely needed a refresher course in the difference between an innocent joke and public humiliation. At the same time, however, she couldn’t help but feel somewhat intimidated by her now-older sister. Luna was not only now bigger, stronger, and more magically inclined than Celestia, but also possessed the same refinement and inner strength she seemingly lost two hours ago. If anything, her crying and tantrum were proof positive she wasn’t quite the adult pony she thought she was. She needed her…
The two cautiously walked towards each other, each half-expecting the other to send them to the moon at any given moment. A few tense moments later, and the two cautiously raised a hoof to the other. The zipper finally came undone in a flurry of purple sparkles, while the Sparkle behind the sparkles around the zipper smiled at another crisis averted. The two hooves touched in a slow, quiet shake. The air was still far from calm, but at least nopony was going to end up face down in a sewer ditch anytime soon.
Twilight let out a relieved sigh. She had at least bought herself a brief moment of peace. “Now that that ugly business is out of the way, let’s try to get this spell countered. Luna, do you have a copy?”
Luna nodded and lit her horn, raising the Arcanus E Draconus and dragging it towards the three, along with her translation notebook. “This book has some of the most powerful spells ever recorded by ponykind. It’s some very complicated magic, I know, but if you’re half as good a student as Celestia claims…”
“She’s that and more,” said Celestia. For just a brief moment, Twilight could pick out a small trace of her mentor’s soothing voice and loving aura. It was enough to calm the unicorn’s nerves, giving her a little hope that maybe she could single handedly reverse this and save the day.
Then she actually looked at the book.
It terrified her.
Were it any other situation, reading such an ancient, forbidden tome would have filled Twilight with feelings of danger, excitement, and a fine educational afternoon. Not this…abomination. Despite the book being just over five hundred years old, its pages showed no sign of aging. The ink was not real ink, but rather had the consistency of griffon blood. The dragonhide was not the faux kind used in some furniture and clothing; it was a dead ringer for how Spike’s skin looked under the scales. The pages were bound together with glue, real glue, the same kind other, more barbaric species used to make out of dead ponies.
Before her was the most heinous sight she had ever seen. It was almost enough to drive her running back to Ponyville in an instant, chattering all the way about the return of the Great Old Ponies. Celesia and Luna, on the other hand, seemed completely unfazed with the book. If they had even noticed the disgusting ingredients in its creation, they didn’t care.
Luna’s hoof pointed to a full page of archaic writings. “There. This is the spell.” She then pointed to the right page in her notes. The three peered over the notebook…
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Youth Restoration Spell
The Youth Restoration Spell allows the caster to transform the spell’s target into a past version of their selves, no further than their birth and no later than the exact minute the spell was first cast. The spell may also be combined with a barrier or seal spell to hold unwilling targets.
The spell’s first effect takes the form of a green, mist-like snake. The construct will surround the target’s entire body while bombarding them with mind reading and possession spells. This will allow the caster to shift through their memories until they have found the perfect point in time which to bring them back to.
Next, the caster orders the snake to collapse in on its victim, condensing and shrinking them until they are proportional to their size in that period of time. This stage is quite exhausting on the target, and it is likely they will pass out. The third and final stage is the magic’s natural exhaustion and cancellation, no more than two hours after being cast.
During this time, the victim will be an amalgamation of their present and past selves. While their memories and personality will remain intact, their physical and, in the case of adults becoming children, emotional selves will still behave much like they did during that period of time. Unicorns have also shown a tendency to lose their ability to control and manipulate their natural magical abilities. The regression also impacts a pegasus’ wing strength, and depending on the age victims may be physically unable to fly.
The magic may also be dispelled before its natural expiration. Doing so, however, will require an extreme amount of magical power, as well as the correct spell to disrupt and remove all of the enchantments involved. Failure to dispel even one piece of the spell’s components may have a disastrous affect on both the caster and their victim.
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Twilight’s mind raced as she took in the book’s words. This was some of the most complex magic she had ever seen, even more than giving a pony butterfly wings. It was not just one straight blast, but a whole chain of sustained, interlocked steps. Most counterspells were built to dispel simple enchantments and (if one believed in them) curses, not something this intricate.
Even worse, the book’s warnings about the victim’s behavior were already proving true. If she looked hard enough, she could still make out the Princess Celestia she knew and loved. The same pony that had taken her in, trained her to control her immense power, and then sent her out into the world to discover the magic of friendship. All that clashed with her recent behavior.
This was Celestia, to be sure. She just wasn’t sure it was her Celestia anymore.
Luna closed the two books, setting them back under her bed for the time being. “So, you see our problem. This…isn’t a very easy spell to fix.”
“You should of thought of that before you cast it,” muttered Celestia. Luna gave her a quick glare, and Celestia quickly turned away.
“In any case,” the princess continued, “I…want to ask for your help. I need somepony who understands ancient magic to research a counterspell. Once we have that, we can start working on restoring Celestia to normal. I know, I have no right to ask you to stay any longer, but I need all the help I can get, and you’re the only pony I can trust.”
Twilight mulled Luna’s request, hoping to find some way to back out of it. She was none too happy with Luna at the moment, and would gladly take her leave back to Ponyville, at least for the moment. Her eyes, however, drifted back to Celestia, and all that frustration melted away. She was upset over apple fritters and lost time she would have spent studying something she already knew, while Celestia’s whole world had been ruined because of a prank gone wrong. She was (perhaps) the second-oldest pony in the room, but for that moment, felt like the smallest, whiniest foal to have ever walked Equestria.
She turned back to Luna. “All right. I’ll get to work right away.”
Celestia let out a great sigh of relief. Inside, she was fighting the urge to run up and glomp her in gratitude. “Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. A pony of your intelligence will figure this out in no time.” Twilight couldn’t help but blush from the praise, even if it came from something that sounded more like a chipmunk than a goddess.
Then Celestia remembered one other, little detail. “Oh crud, the sun! It’s supposed to set in a few hours! I can’t move it anymore!”
“And what about the rest of your duties?” Twilight chimed in. “I mean, you’re still technically a princess. Who’s going to run Equestria in your place?”
Twilight came to regret her words immediately. Luna leaned into her personal space, looking the unicorn right in the eyes. “Excuse me, she runs Equestria? Last time I checked, the land had two rulers? One of whom just came back from the moon only a year ago, and yet everypony keeps forgetting exists?”
“I-I didn’t mean anything like that, your Highness. I just meant…well…”
“What she means, Luna, is that Equestria sees me as the face of the royal family,” said Celestia. Despite the filly’s best efforts, there was a plainly obvious layer of smarminess in her voice. “If I were to disappear for even a day, everypony would know in a matter of moments. And then what?”
“We’d have a repeat of the Summer Sun Celebration,” said Twilight.
Celestia and Luna both nodded. “And that is why I should continue my old post. My mind is still intact, after all. I can still be the wise old leader I’ve…”
Celestia stopped as Luna began laughing like a hyena, stomping one hoof in an uproar. Twilight’s eyes were watering, her face visibly turning red from trying to hold back the hurricane of laughter she was feeling inside. The sun princess’ face drooped into a sad pout. “I’m not joking. I can still do this. Twilight! Fetch me my crown!”
Twilight walked over to the crown. Her steps were uneasy from her suppressed giggling; she had to levitate the crown on the way back, lest she open her mouth and upset her princess even more. Luna, meanwhile, was finally beginning to regain self-control, wiping a few happy tears from her eyes with one foreleg. Celestia sat on her haunches, head upturned in preparation for her return to glory.
The crown levitated onto Celestia’s head, slid down her face, and settled down on her neck. The weight of the crown’s gold body and encrusted gemstone pulled the filly forward, sending her crashing face-first into the floor. The sight reignited Luna’s uncontrollable mirth, and before she knew what she was doing, the moon princess was already on her back, rolling around on the carpet in agony. Twilight let out a small laugh, the most she dared to give, before levitating Celestia back to her hooves.
The filly was disoriented, humiliated, and above all else, feeling rather small and helpless. “I…I can still do this. I’ll just need some smaller jewelry.”
Luna finally stopped laughing, mostly because it was becoming too painful to keep it up. She trotted up to her sister and grabbed her in another, more friendly bear hug. “Don’t worry, Celestia. I can take care of both sun and moon, like you did for a thousand years. And Equestria will be in good hooves, I can assure you. I know everything there is to know about managing a nation.” She finally released a shaking, afraid-for-her-life Celestia. “That way, you and Twilight can spend your days finding a cure. And once everything is back to normal, you can resume your normal responsibilities, I can go back to mine, and we can all pretend this never happened.”
“That’s a great idea!” said Twilight. “We can sure use the extra time, right, Princess Celestia?”
Celestia didn’t respond. Her face was drooping at the news, while Luna’s previous “playful” threats played through her mind. Was this all a part of her plan? Did she really miss such an obvious footnote? I can’t let her get away with this! Doesn’t she realize I kept her out of this mess for a reason?! But…
She sighed, completely defeated. “You’re right. You’re a smart, capable pony, Luna, and I’m sure you’ll do fine. Just…come to me if you have any problems.”
Luna let out a big grin, nuzzling her sister in gratitude. “Oh, thank you, sister! I promise, I won’t let you down!” “Come to me if you have any problems?” Does she really have that little faith in me? Well, I’ll prove her wrong! I’ll be the best princess Equestria has ever seen!
“We can probably pass off my disappearance as a vacation,” said Celestia. “It’s been over a thousand years since I last took one, in any case. But that still leaves the palace staff…”
All three drifted back into quiet contemplation of the latest predicament. There were hundreds of ponies working in the castle, from the guards to the maids to the gardeners, and all of them expected to at least catch a glimpse of their most beloved princess once a day. If this spell was half as complex as it seemed, it was going to take several days at least just to find a cure. Celestia’s disappearance would be noticed very quickly, and once word got out, would no doubt lead to widespread panic and disarray over the missing sun personification.
She couldn’t exactly hide anywhere else in Equestria, either. If it were anypony else, she would have been able to hide this out in Trottingham or Manehatten until things calmed down. Even Ponyville would have made a good spot, although whispers of favoritism and Twilight as a spy were already circulating. Unfortunately for them all, Celestia wasn’t a normal pony, and anypony who got a look at her would immediately recognize the unusually large, white-coated foal with a horn and wings as the missing princess. Like it or not, she had to stay in the palace until the counterspell was discovered or created.
There was only one realistic solution...
----------
Every single member of the castle’s vast staff crammed into the palace’s East Ballroom, also known as the only ballroom left standing after the Gala. The only exceptions were the guards by the entrances; they weren’t exactly in the “need to know” right at the moment. The nobles were especially right out; no good could come from one of them knowing about Celestia’s situation.
It was still more than the three wanted at the moment.
In the center of the room, in the small stage area, Luna stood behind a small podium. Her front hooves rapped nervously on the stand, the one barrier between her and what she feared would become an all-consuming, vengeful mob. Twilight stood behind her, eyes shuffling back and forth, a fake grin glued to her face. Celestia stood behind her student, her coat freshly cleaned and free from any signs of the offending pastry. She was nonetheless struggling to keep out of view.
Once everypony in the castle was accounted for, Luna cleared her throat and levitated up a small speech. “G-Good afternoon,” she stammered. Twilight could already feel another facehoof coming on. “I have, er, called you here today to discuss a rather, uh, dire situation.”
The crowd was muttering among themselves. Not a thing they said was good for Luna. She wasn’t exactly a bad public speaker, but she did get flustered on occasion. And given the gravity of what she was about to say, she had every right to be and then some. It wasn’t every day you told a country its beloved ruler was now a temperamental, ill-behaved brat.
She cleared her throat yet again, regaining a small shred of self-confidence in the process. “This afternoon, Princess Celestia, my sister and fellow princess, was in conference with Twilight Sparkle and I over some of the new edicts we’ve passed. During that time, a currently unknown assailant managed to infiltrate the castle, ambushed all three, and used a spell from what we believe to be the Arcanus E Draconus on Celestia.” Of course, she made sure a few of the facts were kept well hidden. There wasn’t any point in making everypony think her fake coup was a real coup.
An exceptionally loud gasp emerged from the crowd. Luna paused a bit, her confidence waning, before continuing. “W-We are currently searching for this pony and the accursed book as we speak. Until then, I feel it is my duty to inform you of her…condition.” She turned back to Twilight and the still-hidden Celestia, the latter shaking with incredible apprehension. “Come on, Celestia. Let’s get this over with.”
Twilight turned about, giving the filly a gentle nudge towards Luna. Celestia grimaced at her student briefly before heading to the stage, making sure to stay behind both Twilight and Luna’s bodies all the while. Once she was safely behind the podium, she climbed up on Luna’s back (a rather new sensation) and poked her head up just enough so she could be seen.
There was a stunned silence. Many a pony found their face twitching in unnatural ways as their brains struggled to process this new information. Celestia tried her best to smile, even as she wished she could just jump from the stage and hide under her bed until this blew over. She could already see a few ponies in the corner snickering.
Both hooves nervously tapped together as she began to speak. “My subjects, as you may have surmised, I am indeed Princess Celestia. My body might be different, and certainly a little smaller than usual, but I can assure you, I am still the pony you have known all your lives. Whatever this spell is, it has not impacted my memories or…my personality.” First bold-faced lie I’ve told in a century. “In spite of this, I fear I have no choice at this time but to turn the daytime ruling of Equestria to my sister, Princess Luna. She is wise and capable pony, and I am sure you will offer her your full support.”
That low murmuring in the crowd had turned into a cacophony of voices. Twilight couldn’t make out too much in the crowd, but the sisters could. They could already hear the worried tones in each pony’s voice, the low mocking from those who thought nopony could hear them, even a few whispering about “Nightmare Moon’s return.” Luna craned her neck up to her sister, both exchanging a sad glance.
Finally, Celestia slammed both hooves on the podium, and the assembled ponies turned back to attention. She glared at the crowd with her best “I am disappointed in all of you” face; all it accomplished was bringing out a few giggles. Defeated, she jumped off Luna’s back, while the purple alicorn stood back up at the podium.
“Thank you, Princess Celestia. Now, until we have found a cure for my sister’s condition, I am placing a gag order on the whole palace. Nopony is to breathe a word of this to anypony, be they the press, the nobles, even your own family. If I learn that anypony outside of this room knows of Celestia’s curse, I will make sure it’s the last mistake you make in Equestria.”
It was no idle threat, and everypony knew it. The very light and color of the room was seemingly drained as Luna spoke, replaced by an unholy coldness and the pure, unrestrained agony that awaited anypony foolish enough to oppose her. The laughter immediately ceased, while the whole of the ponies involved started to shudder slightly at Luna’s voice.
“So, does everypony understand?” The whole crowd nodded in response. The room’s vibrant colors and atmosphere immediately returned. “Good. You may return to your duties now. If anypony needs us, we will be retiring to Celestia’s chambers for the time being. Thank you.”
----------
The minute the conference was over, all three made their exit out the back, both for Celestia’s sake and to keep the crowds from asking too many questions. The palace’s staff was either too shaken or too scared of Luna to make much of a scene. In any case, one problem was out of the way, at least for the time being.
Celestia was now lying on her now-massive bed, head buried in a pillow. Twilight was looking over the princess’ reference collection, hoping to find some place to start her research. Luna, meanwhile, was struggling to keep her eyes open, the day’s events finally catching up to her.
The filly was still visibly shaken by what just happened. “They laughed.”
“I’m sure they didn’t mean it,” yawned Luna. She slowly walked to her sister, her steps rather uneven from fatigue, and tried to lay a hoof on her sister’s back. Celestia’s wings snapped up immediately, blocking her advance. “Look, I know you’re upset, but we didn’t have a choice. We can’t hide somepony of your stature.”
“What am I gonna do?” Celestia whined. “Even if you make me big again, I’ll just be a laughingstock.”
“I’m sure you’ll think of something. You are the oldest pony alive in Equestria, after all,” said Luna, in between another yawn. “Ah, excuse me, but I…really need to lie down for a while. I’ve got a moon to raise in a few hours.” The alicorn paced her way out of the room, barely resisting the urge to just fall asleep on her hooves.
Twilight, meanwhile, levitated three books onto her back, balancing them perfectly before shutting her horn’s power off. “These will do nicely.” She turned back to Celestia. “Would you like to join me, your Highness?”
Celestia didn’t even pull her head out of the pillow. “Join you?”
“You know, study together, like we used to do before I left Canterlot. With our two brains working together, I’m sure we’ll have you back to normal by dinner!” She walked to the bed and gave Celestia a playful nudge on the shoulder.
The filly raised her head, eyed her student suspiciously, and promptly hid her face yet again. “I…don’t feel like it right now. Sorry.”
Twilight’s face fell. “Oh, I see. Well, can I at least get you some dinner? I’m sure the chef’s heart attack was only a small one.”
Celestia finally moved her face out of the pillow, giving her student a sad, pitiful stare. “Twilight...I would much rather be alone right now.”
Twilight sighed. “Very well, your Highness. Still, with your permission, I’d like to use your study to begin my research. It’s the most private room in the palace, and I have to write a letter to Spike anyway. Oh, that little fellow gets so worked up when I have to leave…”
“Knock yourself out.”
“Well…I’ll see you later, then.” Twilight quickly backed out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Celestia stayed in her position for some time, thinking about her horrible, horrible day. She had little doubt Twilight would find a counterspell given enough time. But Luna…that was a different story. She acted apologetic now, sure, but just a few hours ago she was posing her like a doll, holding her like a pet, and treating her like, well, the way Celestia would treat Luna long before Nightmare Moon.
Come to think of it, I was doing all this back then, too. Inviting ponies to parties just to wreck them, showing Philomena to veterinarians at the end of one of her life cycles, you name it. Luna seemed to enjoy herself so much back then. It was really the only time I could get her to smile after she realized how little ponies appreciated her nights. How little I appreciated her nights.
It was a sobering revelation. She covered her stomach with the pillow, her face caught in a perpetual frown. I hate this. I hate looking like this. I hate being reminded of how horrible things were back then. Luna got to have fun as a filly. She got to play with all the early creations and the first ponies. I spent my foalhood on an empty planet just waiting for mother and father to come back, or for something to evolve beyond single-cell organisms.
A small tear streaked down the corner of her eye. I just want to be normal again.
----------
Once inside Celestia’s study, Twilight closed the door, trotted to the nearest reading pedestal, and floated the books off her back. “Let’s see…there’s Enchantments and You, A Detailed Examination of Possession Spells, and…”
The last book had no title. It only had a simple orange cover, its edges frayed from constant use. Twilight would have simple left it as-is, except it had been sticking out on the bookshelf, and if Twilight was known for anything, it was intellectual curiosity. Even so, a lot of Celestia’s books had either never been named, or had their titles fade away with time, so there wasn’t anything too unusual about it.
“I guess I’ll start with this one,” she sighed. “It can’t be any worse than that…thing, anyway.”
She set the orange book on the pedestal and flipped it open. Her eyes immediately leaped open at the sights within, her lower jaw trembling with growing horror as she turned page after page. Finally, she could take no more, and blasted the thing into the fireplace. Her horn’s light intensified, and a small fire quickly consumed the book into ash.
Twilight just stood there, gasping for air while trying to calm her rapidly-beating heartbeat. “Okay, lesson learned. Don’t open any more untitled books without asking the princess what’s in them. It’s not every day you run into a royal porn collection.”
----------
TO BE CONTINUED…
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Four
By the time Luna had reached her room, she was halfway between “very tired” and “a medicated coma.” She had already been up for nearly a full day by that point. Her plan required her to begin the night, hold her own little court, end the night, and then try to get some sleep before Celestia could fall for her little prank. And even then, she was so excited about the fun she would have at her sister’s expense that she barely got any sleep at all.
She floated her small crown over to the nightstand, resting it neatly in an ornate, gem-encrusted wooden box. Celestia’s own vestments had been laid out on the same stand, awaiting their owner’s return to normalcy. The clothes chest still sat next to the bed; Luna hadn’t the heart to throw the whole thing out, not after all the effort she took to find the costumes to begin with. Now, she wished she had tossed the thing out the window, preferably taking out a few aristocrats on the way down.
Luna flopped on her bed, exhaustion overtaking her in a manner of moments. Even in her sleep, however, her thoughts kept forcing their way to the forefront. This is all my fault. I should have known better. I should have done all the research before I used that blasted spell. I…
The echoes gradually dimmed as she fell asleep, her doubts replaced with her usual dreams…
----------
Twilight slammed the Enchantments and You book shut and tossed it aside, a snarl on her lips. Her small piles of note pages were almost completely blank, save for a few scribbles on how the spell shouldn’t even work under any known magical laws. In fact, the only thing she had written all day was a quick letter to Spike, and she still didn’t have any idea how to send it. “Gah! This thing is impossible! Who wrote that spellbook anyway, a gibbering lunatic?!”
Then she remembered the book’s materials. “Oh…I guess that makes sense.”
In any case, her research was getting her nowhere. The same books that had served her so well in the past were obviously no good here. This was ancient magic, the kind that ponies only spoke of in hushed whispers. The kind that tended to attract attention from unworldly, unwelcome creatures. Even now, while the book sat underneath Luna’s bed, she could feel something cold creeping over her. It was a presence she had only felt twice before, when Nightmare Moon had challenged her and her friends in the Everfree Forest and when Discord had taunted her in the maze.
It’s getting closer.
Twilight’s fur stood on end, her tail and mane straightening into perfect right angles. She could hear, no, feel something approaching her from behind. She tried to turn, but her terror was so great that her legs refused to move.
Oh Celestia I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die
“BOO!”
Twilight’s jump was one of the most impressive jumps in the history of Equestria. She managed to clear a good twenty feet straight up before grabbing onto a ceiling beam and hanging on for dear life. Beneath her sat Celestia, giggling up a storm. “Oh Twilight, you are just so adorable!”
Twilight slowly released her grip, using her magic to slow her fall below break-leg speed. The sight of a laughing, happy Celestia filled Twilight with two conflicting emotions. On the one hoof, this was a bit closer to the princess she knew. Although she still lacked the sense of awe and wonder she possessed as a grown mare, there was something overwhelmingly joyful about her smile. It was the same loving expression she had given Twilight during her studies, from when she got her cutie mark to her graduation. Even coming from a pudgy foal that should be younger than Apple Bloom, it was practically infectious in its mirth.
On the other hoof, the same little snot had just startled her worse than a cave full of snakes.
Twilight took a moment to compose herself, something that was rather difficult since Celestia was still in the midst of the latest round of rolling laughter. “Your Majesty, don’t you know better than to sneak up on ponies?”
If Celestia had heard her student, she wasn’t showing it. “I’m sorry, Twilight Sparkle, but you were just standing there looking so serious I had to do it!” Before long, even Twilight couldn’t resist laughing her flank off, and the two clung together in the happiest scene all day. Finally, several minutes later, the two had tired themselves out enough to subdue their glee to a few coughing giggles.
“Thank you, Your Highness,” said Twilight. “I needed a good laugh right about now.”
“So did I.” The two slowly regained their footing, returning to the same standing positions as earlier that day. “I just wanted to see how your progress is going. The sooner I can grow up again, the better.”
Twilight’s heart gave a quick yank. Her face was practically hidden behind a wall of sweat as she spoke. “W-Well, none of the books I’ve checked have anything we can use. Not yet, anyway. The spell Luna used was just so…complex. Every book I’ve read said something like this shouldn’t even be possible.”
Celestia’s face fell in an instant. Twilight’s trusty panic reflex, the same one that had led to Ponyville’s near-destruction by Parasprites and covering up Fluttershy’s birdnapping, kicked right back into gear. “I-I’ll have something soon, I promise! It’s just…magic like this hasn’t been used in so long, there’s almost nothing on how to reverse it.”
Celestia looked back up at Twilight, giving her as reassuring a smile as she could right now. “I’m not worried. I didn’t think you would have a counterspell ready in one day.”
Another awkward silence passed a few seconds longer. “So…are you feeling any better?”
Celestia sighed. “A little.”
“Oh?”
“Well…I guess it’s really not that bad.” Celestia rubbed her right foreleg over her left and tilted her head slightly. The next few sentences weren’t going to be easy. “I’m not quite ready to forgive Luna, but it could be worse. I haven’t felt this energetic in centuries, and going back like this has helped fix a few of my old joint pains. It’s just…being a foal again is so, well, demeaning.”
Twilight closed her eyes and raised a hoof. “Really? I think it might actually be a little fun.”
“You honestly believe that?.”
“I do, Your Highness.” Twilight smirked and rolled her head back, reflecting on that ever-lovely sack of lies called “nostalgia.” “I was a little filly once, too. I would just sit in my room all day, reading and studying every book my parents had about magic. Eating up every little bit of knowledge I could find, always testing out the new spells I learned, getting grounded after launching mom’s new vase into the stratosphere…Oh, those were the days. No bills to pay, no baby dragons to raise, and all the free time you could ask for.”
Celestia groaned at her student’s reminiscence. Obviously, Twilight had quite the privileged upbringing, being her personal student and all. Her parents spent time with her, taught her everything they knew, sent her to the best magic school in Equestria. My parents just dumped their foals on a lifeless planet in the middle of nowhere – a planet without a working ecosystem or even a sun and moon – and told us to make something out of it.
“…Anyway,” said the Princess, “are you hungry? It’s almost time for dinner, and I’m sure the cooks have prepared something wonderful tonight.”
Twilight’s stomach rumbled at the thought of food. “Well, I guess I am a little hungry. I was really counting on that pie. So, where is the dining room anyway?”
The question made Celestia cringe. The closest dining room was closed for cleaning and renovation; in other words, to repair the damage from the last trade negotiation with the griffons. Nopony dared speak of what happened, but the rumor was it involved a very peeved Celestia, an outspoken anti-pony ambassador, and a rusty tin can. The only other dining room was on the other side of the palace, and was more for formal parties and events than casual dining.
In any case, Celestia wasn’t in any mood to cross the entire palace just for some dinner. She was already incredibly self-conscious of her new situation, and had used up all her courage just making her way to the study. Scaring the daylights out of Twilight was the only thing she could find to relieve her apprehension, if only for a few minutes. There is no way I’m going back out there. Not now, not ever…
“Well…we could eat in here tonight,” she stammered. I think we could use a little privacy, in any case. The servants can fetch Luna once she’s finished with the moon.”
----------
“Those roses are for me? I am your favorite princess of them all? Oh, how I love you, my little ponies! I-”
Luna’s dreams suddenly came to a crashing halt as her internal alarm clock jolted her awake. The moon princess jumped to the floor, stretched her legs, and walked over to the nearby window. The clear blue sky had given away to an orange haze as the sun, its momentum spent, locked itself onto the western horizon. To the east, Luna could feel moon, her most beloved possession as well as her former prison.
All right, let’s go over this again. I just have to lower the sun completely, then raise the moon right after. This should be the easiest job in Equestria. Celestia did it for a thousand years, I can certainly do it for a few days.
Luna threw on her crown and vestments and glided out of her room, slamming the door and scaring quite a few guards behind her. She zoomed through the palace until she reached the highest balcony in the tallest tower. From here, she could see nearly all of Equestria, and more importantly, she was at a good enough position to both move the sun and revel in the glory therein.
The moon princess’ wings unfurled and spread to their full width. She closed her eyes and lit her horn, her mind focusing on the giant ball in the distance. The wings began a steady beat, gradually generating enough force to lift Luna vertically. A feeling of intense warmth hit her as she finally connected with the sun, a far cry from the soothing coolness the moon offered. Gritting her teeth, she willed the sun downward.
It was a struggle almost immediately. The sun wasn’t at all like the moon; instead of a simple rocky surface, it was a ball of gas held together by gravity alone. There was no real surface to grab, and her magic struggled to hold the thing together. Her face grimaced as the sun seemingly refused to move. Finally, and after several minutes of struggling, the yellow ball finally slid out of view, coating Equestria in an impenetrable blackness. The moon quickly slid into place, lighting the land with a soft glow.
Luna’s wings gave out from the exhaustion, and cruel gravity quickly pulled her gut-first onto the balcony floor. The moon princess was shaking, sweaty, and tired, but otherwise quite happy with herself. “Did you see that, Celestia? Your little sister can do anything you can-”
Then she noticed something missing from the sky.
The stars.
Luna growled to herself before flying back up…
----------
If the ponies at the palace could be credited for only one thing, it would be their swiftness. No sooner had the call been given than a half-dozen ponies rushed into the study, a small, low, rectangular table on their backs. They sat the table down without it so much as tipping and trotted to the side, allowing another pony to lay out three pillows just underneath the table’s edges. A last pony ducked ahead of the others, laying out a tablecloth and setting the table in a flourish.
Celestia nodded in appreciation. “Thank you, good ponies. Please fetch Princess Luna and tell the kitchen staff dinner will be in the study tonight.” The other ponies quickly bowed before filing out single-file, leaving virtually no trace of their ever being there.
Twilight was dumbstruck by the sheer efficiency of it all. “Wow…I never knew you had your staff this well-trained.”
“I’ve had a couple thousand years of experience,” said Celestia. “Luna and I practically invented every management technique on Equestria.”
The two took their seats at the table; or rather, Twilight took a seat at the table while Celestia’s was almost under the table. Even with the lowest possible eating surface they could find, the table reached all the way up to the princess’ nose. All this earned was another grunt of dissatisfaction from the filly before moving on. “Twilight, about your research…”
Twilight’s panic button went off yet again. “O-Of course. I know I promised I would have a counterspell by dinner, but…you see…”
“Twilight…”
“A-A-And the books! Almost nothing they say is any good for us!”
“Twilight…”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll figure something out soon! I mean I hope we will because Equestria won’t-”
“TWILIGHT SPARKLE!”
Twilight immediately went quiet, slumping down as low as she possibly could. “Um…I’m sorry, your majesty. I just…I thought I would be farther along by now. These books are some of the most comprehensive theses on magic in existence, and not a single one even mentions something like the spell Luna cast. I think we’re at a dead end.”
Celestia had to let out a chuckle at that. “I told you, I didn’t expect a cure in one day. I was suggesting you see somepony tomorrow. You remember your old Advanced Magical Theory professor, Frosty Gaze?”
Unfortunately for Twilight, she did. “You mean ‘The Abominable Snowpony?’ The biggest, meanest, most incredibly cruel and merciless teacher Canterlot has ever seen? Why would you want me to see a monster like him?”
“First off, he’s not a monster, he’s just...very big for a stallion,” said Celestia. “Second, he’s one of the greatest scholars in Equestria on ancient magic. And third, just because he doesn’t grade on a curve doesn’t mean you have the right to call him names.” Her eyes then darted back to the small book pile. “Speaking of books, didn’t you take three out of my room?”
If Twilight was panicking before, she was just now preparing for cardiac arrest. She had forgotten all about that…book. “Well…you see…”
“And did you light a fire in here?”
“Um…Ugh…Your Majesty, I can…”
Celestia leaped from her seat and galloped to the fireplace. There, still sitting in a pile of ash and burnt wood, sat the charred remains of an orange book. The sun princess very, very slowly turned about to face Twilight, her smile replaced with a deep, dark frown. “Twilight Sparkle…did you just burn one of my books?”
Twilight started backing away from Celestia, trying to make herself as small as possible. She could only manage a small, pathetic whimper. “Y…Yes, Your Majesty. I was just…so shocked that I…well...”
The change in the princess’ mood was almost immediate. For the first time in her many years of knowing her, Twilight could feel her teacher’s genuine rage. It just made her shrink back farther. “I thought your parents and I taught you better than this,” Celestia scolded.“You don’t go around destroying other pony’s property. What were you thinking? For that matter, were you thinking?!”
“I…I didn’t mean to,” sobbed Twilight. “It was…I didn’t…I couldn’t think of you…reading something like that!”
“Something like that? What could possibly be so bad that you…” Wait…does that mean that book was… She sighed before addressing her cowering, prepared-for-a-trip-to-the-moon student. “Twilight Sparkle, I am very disappointed with you, and we will discuss your punishment after I have returned to normal.”
Twilight’s ears flattened as she barely resisted bawling like Celestia had a few hours prior. “Princess…please don’t…”
“And no, it will not involve dismissing you as my student, or sending you to a celestial body, or banishing you and then throwing you in a dungeon in the place that I banish you to. There will be no dungeons, or torture, or anything else of that nature, so just put it out of your mind for the time being and focus on the problem at hand.”
Twilight dared to raise her head, meeting her mentor eye-to-eye. “Do you mean that? Please, I promise I won’t do it again! I…It’s just…”
“I promise you, nothing is going to happen. You just have to learn not to overreact so much. I am, or rather was, a grown mare, and sometimes I just have...physical needs. Can you honestly tell me you haven’t looked at such material before?” Twilight blushed like a ripe tomato. “In any case, that wasn’t actually one of my books. One of the students at the school was found with it, and since I am technically the principal, it was my responsibility to keep such things away from the student body. She never tried to get it back, and when the school year ended I took it back to the palace by mistake.”
Twilight sat up and raised both front hooves. “I…think I understand. So…just out of curiosity, whose book was it?”
Celestia raised a hoof to her mouth, her eyes shifting about in thought. “I don’t really remember. She wasn’t the best student, but she did well enough. I heard she got married not too long after graduating and had a filly. If I recall, she had a white coat, with a striped purple-and-white mane.”
As Celestia walked back to her pillow, Twilight squinted and tapped her chin. “A white coat and purple-and-white mane? That sounds an awful lot like…like…”
Twilight’s brain quickly entered a self-preserving shut-down, leaving the Unicorn’s body to tumble onto the floor. A quick glance was enough to establish she was still breathing. Celestia smiled at her student’s exaggerated reaction. Sorry Twilight, but you should have thought of that before you burned it. I’m sure your mother will understand…
----------
It was another thirty minutes before Luna arrive, her body still shaking from her exertion outside. Accompanying her was one of the palace chef’s, a brownish-yellow Unicorn mare with a salad and spoon for a cutie mark. Behind her was a large dinner cart, with three covered plates on top and a small curtain covering the bottom. Twilight was already back in her seat, having filed her newfound information deep in the recesses of her mind. Celestia was still sitting there, both forelegs wrapped on the table in a look of absolute boredom. The combination of the day’s events and her current, foal body was taking it out of her; she looked almost as tired as Luna felt.
Luna gave a quick, acknowledging nod to her sister and her sister’s protégé before taking her seat. “I…apologize for my delay. It seems the…sun doesn’t quite agree with me.”
“That will happen,” said Celestia. “I remember the first time I moved the moon….well, let’s just say Nightmare Moon almost came back a thousand years ago, and a few million tons heavier at that. You’ll get the hang of it.”
Luna frowned. “I didn’t vaporize anypony with a solar flare, if that’s what you mean.”
“Wait, you can do that?” gasped Twilight. “I mean, not that I’m saying you ever have, but-”
“A-HEM!”
The three quickly turned towards the chef. She looked stressed, frustrated, and in no mood to hear of the horrible fate that awaited anypony that displeased their princess. “Apologies, your Majesties, and to you, Miss Sparkle, but your dinner is ready. Should I begin serving?” All three quickly nodded yes. “Very well. I fear tonight’s dinner is nothing special. I fear the rest of my staff didn’t take our princess’ condition very well.” She flashed Celestia as reassuring a smile as possible in this situation. “In any case, we’ve prepared a basic salad, along with a tomato-and-basil soup. And for dessert, we have carrot cake with vanilla icing.”
The chef levitated the three dishes to their respective owners and floated the lids back to the cart. On each sat…a plate with a standard lettuce, tomato and cucumber salad, a bowl of tomato soup with a lot of green basil shavings floating on top, and a small dish with a chunk of cake on top. The whole thing looked more like something from a corner café than the food of the gods.
“Thank you, Leafy Greens,” said Luna. “I’m sure it will be…magnificent.”
Leafy Greens gave another bow, gripped the cart’s handle in her teeth, and wheeled it out of the study. The three ponies were left to study their meals. “Well…it’s not as grand as I thought it would be, but it still looks delicious,” said Twilight. Luna was too tired to say much of anything, instead opting to immediately levitate her fork, impale some defenseless vegetable, and eat it. Celestia, meanwhile, was far too busy salivating over the cake.
It wasn’t a byproduct of the spell, she did that even as an adult. She didn’t actually drool over it, but the feelings were the same. She just loved cake.
The princess managed to peel her eyes away from her dessert long enough to see what the others were doing. Luna was still acting like a princess, using over a dozen utensils in the course of a single bite. Twilight was following suit, if only to keep face in front of royalty. This shouldn’t be a problem. Levitation is one of the easiest spells a Unicorn learns. I can’t blast my sister out of the palace right now, but I can still use a little magic.
She turned to her fork and mentally willed it to move. It didn’t. She threw more effort into it, her horn lighting up like a sparkler. It still wouldn’t move. Frustrated beyond measure, she just resorted to grabbing it with her hooves, but the thing was cumbersome and, surprisingly for a nation of ponies, completely incompatible with their particular style of feet.
Twilight set her fork down and looked at her struggling mentor. “Um…do you need any help?”
“No…I…don’t!” grumbled Celestia. Despite her protests, however, the utensil refused to stay in her hooves long enough to grab anything. Finally, she just gave up, planted her hooves on the table, leaned over, and grabbed a slice of tomato with her teeth.
She spat the thing out almost immediately, coughing and gagging all the while. The other quickly set their things down and darted over to Celestia, Luna wrapping her in as much of a hug as she dared to give. “Celestia, what’s wrong?”
“The (cough) food. S…Something’s wrong with the food!”
The currently-bigger princess and Twilight looked the plate over. Nothing was obviously out of the ordinary. Luna bent over and grabbed another tomato slice, chewing it slowly before swallowing. “I don’t taste anything. It’s actually pretty good.”
“Pretty good? It was so…slimy and, it tasted so…ugh!” The tiniest bit of Celestia’s fillyhood seeped through before she could regain her composure. “Never mind, I will just eat around them.”
Celestia leaned back to her plate and grabbed a lettuce leaf, ripping it with her teeth and swallowing. She immediately groaned with disgust. So…bitter. “Okay…I can settle for cucumbers.”
Another bite, and another moan. Even these taste horrible?
It didn’t take long for Twilight and Luna to realize what was going on. The former could feel her lungs starting to collapse from fear, while the latter quickly let her sister go and backed away. Celestia, meanwhile, could feel that panic welling up inside again, as her mind actively fought against the cold, inevitable truth. No, no, no! This isn’t happening! Luna’s spell couldn’t have done something like this! I’m supposed to stay the same, so why? Why is this happening?!
Twilight quickly assumed a “calm the child down” position. “Princess, I don’t think there’s a problem with the food. It’s…well, the same gag reflex we all had as fillies.”
“B-But that’s not possible!” screamed Celestia. “I really like all of these! I shouldn’t be having a problem with them!”
Twilight moaned. This wasn’t going to be easy to explain. “I read something about this. Apparently, very young ponies have extremely sensitive taste buds. Things like lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, rutabagas, daffodils, alfalfa, and others can actually taste worse for them.”
“It still doesn’t make sense,” Celestia grumped. “Luna and I are not normal ponies. We never had this problem before.”
“Oh, REALLY?”
Celestia and Twilight could feel the life drain from the room as Luna stomped back to the table, sat right back down, and stared her sister straight in the eyes. “Because I can remember a certain pony sitting her young, helpless sister down every night and forcing her to eat one disgusting meal after another. ‘Hey Luna, I just created these red berries! Eat them, or I’ll make you sleep outside!’”
Celestia slammed both hooves onto the table, shaking the entire surface and everything on it for several seconds. “I never said anything like that! Vegetables are good for you! As your big sister, it was my responsibility to make sure you grew up right!”
Luna’s sly smile, the same one she wore when she thought this was just going to be two hours of fun, returned. “You are absolutely right. It is the big sister’s responsibility to make sure their little sister is on the right track in life. And that includes a healthy diet.”
Her horn quickly lit up, while an aura of energy appeared around Celestia’s piece of cake. The filly immediately realized what was up and leaped towards the thing, only to get pushed right back down by Luna’s magic. The cake floated towards the blue Alicorn before setting itself next to her plate. “Do you know how many calories are in one bite of these things? A lot, I can assure you. Far too many for growing ponies.”
“THAT’S MY CAKE!” shouted Celestia. Luna was still keeping her pinned, and for all the filly’s struggles, she couldn’t even budge. “I WANT MY CAKE BACK NOW!”
“And you will have it back,” said Luna. “But first, you have to finish your dinner.”
“But it tastes terrible!”
“Then you’ll just have to go hungry.”
“Um…Princess Luna?” Twilight interjected. “Maybe we should just…ask them to make something else?”
“No!” said Luna. “I had to deal with this for who-knows-how-long. I’m certain Celestia can put up with it for a few days.”
Celestia’s little hooves shook. Her self control evaporated against the overwhelming frustration she felt towards her sister. Easier than before, she slipped right back into that same unwise, irrational filly mindset. “I am not going to eat this, and you can’t make me!”
“And who says I can’t?”
Before Celestia could mutter out another comeback, the room was filled with a blinding light. When it cleared, Twilight was now standing between the two, her face facing Luna. If there was any emotion besides rage, it wasn’t showing. “I do! If Celestia doesn’t want to eat this, she doesn’t have to!” She turned back to Celestia; the filly was cowering under the table, seemingly scarred for life from having a Unicorn’s...plot appear right in her face. “Your Highness, if you want my piece of cake, you can have it.”
Celestia poked her head out of hiding just as Twilight levitated over her own dessert. Her eyes practically bulged at the sight; were it not for her royal fiber rapidly rebuilding itself, she would have probably broken out into cartwheels right then and there. “Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. It’s...lovely.”
Luna quickly tapped Twilight on the shoulder. “Miss Sparkle, may I please speak with you in the hallway.” It was most certainly not a request.
----------
The minute the door closed behind Twilight, Luna was right on her. “What were you thinking back there?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, undermining my authority in front of Celestia!”
Twilight winced. “Your authority? You turned your sister into a foal as a joke! I think that disqualifies you from anything remotely resembling ‘authority’ over her.”
Luna started to mouth a response, no doubt akin to the lavender pony learning her place before she found herself on the sun, but no words came out. She started shifting nervously, keeping her eyes away from Twilight’s. “Twilight, I apologize. It’s just…whenever Celestia starts talking like that, I can’t help myself. Somehow, she’s gotten it into her skull that my foalhood was nothing but games compared to hers.”
Twilight’s brain suddenly had a storm. “Princess Luna, what was Celestia like as a filly?”
Luna sighed. “I cannot tell you too much about when she was that young. Our memories don’t degrade as much as a regular pony – no offense – but even I fail to remember everything from when I was a baby.”
Twilight couldn’t help but laugh a little. “You? A baby?”
“Yes, yes, we all started like that, but can we get back to the topic at hoof?” Twilight nodded. “In any case, Celestia…well, as far back as I can remember, she was my size right now or bigger. She taught me how to fly, use magic, and even taught me how to begin the night. And all this was while she was helping develop the first city-states in Equestria, long before anypony thought of a single ruler.”
“But…what does that have to do with her foalhood?”
“During that time, I was pretty much free to do as I pleased. I spent my time visiting the villages and towns of Equestria, and being still technically a filly at the time, mostly just goofed off with some of the other fillies and colts. I got to enjoy parties and games, while Celestia kept herself working. And when she tried to join, the other ponies were scared to be around her. They were afraid that if they did something wrong, she would destroy their whole village out of spite.”
“And what about before then?”
“Celestia never really talked about then, and I doubt she will now,” Luna lied. Celestia had told her many times about her past, from the giant monsters trying to eat her to licking algae off walls to survive. By the time she had discovered magic, most of the world’s inhabitants had more or less taken form, and she had to spend the rest of her days just keeping everypony in line long enough for civilization to take hold. It was safe to say she never really had a foalhood. “In any case, you can’t keep treating Celestia like she’s really a filly. If we do, it’ll only reinforce her split personality, and quite frankly, I don’t want a hyperactive filly Alicorn running through the palace.”
"Sounds to me like you had it pretty well off," said Twilight.
The Night Mare's eyes locked onto the Unicorn almost instantly, chilling the lavender pony's blood. "That was only because nopony knew my role in Equestria's cosmic cycle. I was to bring out the night, and as far as ancient ponies were concerned, the night means predators, monsters, unforgiving cold, and nothing but darkness. By the time the Three Tribes had united, everypony had turned her into the ultimate caregiver, and me into some kind of reaper, just waiting for the chance to lop off a foal's head. They would praise me sometimes, but only to keep her happy. I was still young, so I did not understand until centuries after Discord's defeat why they turned against me."
Luna's voice cracked slightly, while a strand of her hair knocked away an errant tear. Twiligth watched the whole scene with no small degree of sadness. "Princess..."
"Celestia never had to lose anything to rule the day. But before I could assume my duties, I had to sacrifice any...any..."
The princess slowly collected herself, returning to the same coldly stoic pony she was before. “In any case, you cannot keep treating Celestia like she’s really a filly. If we do, it will only reinforce her split personality, and to be honest, I do not want a hyperactive Celestia running through the palace.”
Twilight turned her head towards the door. She could imagine Celestia still sitting there, worried about what Luna would do to her student. “I know you’re right, but I can’t help it either. She’s still a princess, no matter how she looks, and I just want to make sure she’s all right.”
Luna groaned. “Miss Sparkle, until about five hours ago, that filly was the single most powerful pony in all of Equestria. She has thousands of years of experience and knowledge, invented nearly every form of magic known to ponykind, and by all accounts was almost a surrogate mother for you here at the school. The best way to help isn’t to coddle her; it’s to get her back to normal as quickly as possible.”
It took Twilight a few moments to nod an agreement. “Very well, your Highness. I’m sure I can find a counterspell soon. In the meantime, may I ask a favor? I need to send a letter to Spike, and…”
Luna raised a hoof. “Say no more. I’ll send it for you before I attend to the rest of my duties. In any case, we should go back in. Dessert looked so good.”
Twilight smiled as she opened the door. “Really? Because last time I checked, you had to finish dinner before you got dessert.”
For the first time in a while, Luna let out a genuine smile in return. “A wise pony once said, ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’ Besides, I’m sure Celestia would-”
Both ponies stopped and gasped at the sight before them. In the approximately ten minutes they had been outside, Celestia had managed to eat all three pieces of cake, knocked over her soup bowl after trying to support it with her bare hooves, and somehow embed her horn into the table itself. Her coat was stained with red and green, while her mouth was surrounded by a shaggy beard of crumbs and icing. Her eyes shot open as she heard the two enter. “Oh…Twilight Sparkle! Luna! I…wasn’t expecting you back so quickly!”
Twilight was preparing to laugh out at the sight, until a piercing glare from Luna promptly shut her up. The moon princess quickly turned her attention back to Celestia, who was busy trying to pull herself out of the furniture. “Sister, I think it’s time you turned in for the night.”
Celestia finally pulled herself out of the table, a few small pieces of scrap wood and splinters following in her horn’s wake. She slowly walked to her sister and student, her eyes dropping, her steps uneven, and her mouth barely stifling a yawn. “You’re right, Luna. I…really need to get some sleep if we’re going to find a counterspell tomorrow.” She nuzzled up to her sister’s chest, smearing some of the soup and basil off of her coat and other Luna’s. “Good night, sister.”
Luna did her best to smile, even as she agonized over how to explain her stained coat to her normal court. “Sweet dreams, little sister. I’ll see you in the morning.” She turned to Twilight. “Now, you said you had a letter to send?”
“Yes, it’s right over there.” A quick burst of magic, and a scroll floated from the desk and into Twilight’s mouth. Luna’s horn flared up, and the scroll instantly turned to smoke and flew out through a window towards Ponyville. The rapid succession left Twilight rather surprised, not to mention the bitter aftertaste of magic in one’s mouth. “So, that’s how you two transport scrolls?”
“Anypony with enough magic ability can do something like that,” said Luna. “One day, I’m sure you will as well. Now, do you mind escorting Celestia back to her room? I have my nightly duties to attend to. When you’re ready, just ask one of the ponies to escort you to one of the guest rooms.”
“It’ll be no problem at all, your Highness,” said Twilight. She lit up her horn, levitating a half-asleep Celestia off the ground and onto her back. The filly’s weight caused Twilight to buckle a small bit at first, but before long the two were wandering towards Celestia’s bedroom. Luna couldn’t help but smile at the sight, before turning her mind back to other, more pressing matters…
----------
Spike grumbled as he finally put the last book back into place. The library had survived yet another one of Twilight’s impromptu studying marathons, and it had only taken eight hours for the baby dragon to put all the books back by himself. It was supposed to be a team effort between himself and Twilight, but no, she had to get the big summons to Canterlot while he stayed behind and did all the work. Even worse, she still hadn’t returned.
Before the dragon could say anything, though, he felt that uncomfortable feeling in his gut. He let out a loud belch, accompanied by a large green flame. From the fire emerged a scroll, the kind only Princess Celestia used. He grabbed the tube with both claws and unfurled it…
----------
Dear Spike,
As you can probably tell, I haven’t been able to make it home just yet. Princess Luna’s summons was far more imperative than I first thought.
Princess Celestia has decided to take an impromptu vacation, and is out of Equestria at the moment. Before you worry yourself, Princess Luna is taking over both sun and moon during this time, and will rule Equestria in her place. Because of my connection with Celestia, she has asked me to assist her with tasks around the castle.
I am asking you to run the library in my stead. I promise I won’t be gone for more than a few days, but I trust you to keep things working. You are my number one assistant, no matter the distance between us, and I am certain you are up to the task. I have some bits stashed underneath my bed just in case, and if there’s an emergency, don’t be afraid to ask any of our friends for help. Just make sure I come back to a clean library, okay?
With much love,
Twilight Sparkle
----------
As Spike finished reading the scroll, his very complexion turned deathly pale. “Twilight’s helping Princess Luna? Princess Celestia has gone on vacation? But...the princess has never taken a vacation in her life! And Twilight should have asked me to come over and help, not stay here in a crummy old library. She must want me to stay away from Canterlot. That can mean only one thing: Princess Luna has turned evil again, banished Celestia, and turned Twilight into her slave! She must have made her write this to throw me off-track! I’ve gotta get the others!”
The purple dragon dropped the scroll on the ground and darted out the door. A few seconds later, he darted right back in, ran upstairs, grabbed the bag of bits, and rushed back outside. If he was going to Canterlot on a rescue mission, he was going to need a lot of gemstones…
----------
“How dare she deny my request! Does our beloved princess no longer care for civility and order?”
Within his private estate, Prince Blueblood paced about, still fuming over his royal snubbing from earlier that day. His attendants tried to make themselves as scarce as possible, lest they attract the wrath of their vain, temperamental, self-centered employer. “How can she not see that an injustice has been committed? That mare dared to think she was on the same level as I. Making me eat common swill, ruining my perfect coat with that other commoner’s cake, and willfully destroying the most important party in Equestria! The charges are as plain as the day, and yet Aunt Celestia still won’t properly respond.”
Only one pony dared to speak, although it was more like a whisper. “M-M-Maybe she was just tired today. You were the last pony she was able to see in court this afternoon.”
Blueblood paused, his mind rapidly altering events to serve this new idea. “Perhaps. Aunt Luna has told me things have been difficult lately.” A light bulb, highly oxidized but still functioning, turned on in his brain. “I shall see her first thing tomorrow morning, after the sunrise. I am certain she will be more receptive to my requests then.”
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To Be Continued…
Ignacio Santacruz:
Luna complains that her Celestia thinks her childhood was nothing but games, but then she admits it wasn't bad and had freedom, while Celestia had a hard one...Doesn't add up.
Chris Tall:
Page 1: "Enchatments and You"
it should be "Enchantments".
Page 4: Missing a beginning quotation mark on the last block of text before the break.
Page 5: "...filing out single-file, leaving virtually no trace of their ever being there." is a bit awkward. Could be "...quickly bowed as they filed out the door." They would have left evidence of their presence in the dining fixtures they had brought in. Somepony had to have done it.
Page 6: It might be more fitting to say that, since a day has already more or less passed, Celestia 'didn't' expect a solution in a day. 'Don't' would be more appropriately used at the outset of a task than towards the end of the suggested time interval.
Page 8: "...both forelegs wrapped on the table in a look of absolute boredom." I'm fairly certain I there isn't any appropriate usage of the word 'wrapped' within this context. It makes it hard to discern exactly what imagery you're attempting to convey. Are they perhaps resting on the table, outstretched with her chin resting on the edge?
Page 9: "Twilight's brain suddenly had a storm" is an unusual turn of phrase, where something akin to "Suddenly, a light went off in Twilight's head" or "Suddenly, things began to click into place in Twilight's head" could easily be used.
Can't wait to read the next part.
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Five
Luna’s nighttime court was already in full swing by the time the princess arrived, her coat still showing smudges from Celestia’s soup accident. The meeting chamber was more or less a converted banquet hall, same furnishings and all. Celestia had suggested using the throne room, but Luna was far too hesitant for that much pomp and circumstance. In any case, she didn’t want to hold her own court in the same place her sister held hers. All the ponies would ever do is compare the two princesses, and Luna knew in her heart of hearts who they would prefer.
The main members of her court, mostly representatives from the major cities and regions of Equestria, were seated at the table. Her attendants had already started going over last night’s business, most of it concerning the expansion of Hoofington and changes to the proposed highway system connecting Manehatten and Trottingham. All of it was very basic. It started with drafting a proposal and sending it to Celestia’s desk. There, it would be ignored for about two weeks, or until Luna reminded Celestia about its importance, and then it would either be approved or sent back for another debate. A few times, it was even brought up during Celestia’s time of the day, where, of course, the older sister always got her way.
That is about to change.
Everypony immediately rose from their seats and bowed all the way to the floor at Luna’s approach. The moon princess couldn’t help but blush and hide her head at the sight. The constant bowing didn’t quite bother Luna quite as much as it did Celestia; then again, Celestia had an extra thousand years to get royally sick of being treated like royalty. After a millennium-long banishment, a little respect was a nice change of pace.
Luna took her seat at the head of the table, smoothing out her still-wet fur with one leg. “Good evening, fillies and gentlecolts. I apologize for my tardiness, but a…number of situations have occurred so far tonight, and I would like to get through tonight’s session with as little difficulty as possible. Is that all right?”
The others nodded in agreement. “Very well. So, what business do we have tonight?”
----------
Twilight’s restful slumber was interrupted by a peculiar hopping sensation on the other side of the bed. The mare yawned and rustled about, but stubbornly kept her eyes closed. “Egh, Spike? Keep it down, will ya?”
“I’m not Spike,” chirped a very familiar voice.
Twilight’s eyes finally popped, still groggy from last night. The books she borrowed from Princess Celestia lay on top of a nearby nightstand, along with a barely-touched notebook. The windows showed a still pitch-black Equestria; it was obviously still late at night. And there, standing on the edge of the bed, was a perky, wide-awake Celestia. “Come on, sleepy head! We have a lot to do today!”
The Unicorn flattened her ears in a vain attempt to block out the incessant cheeriness in the room. She glanced at a nearby clock, confirming her woes. “Princess? It’s 4:30 in the morning. Shouldn’t you still be asleep?”
Celestia spat her tongue at Twilight’s desperate plea for sleep. “Why should I be? We have a long day ahead of us. We are going to get up, have some breakfast, and remove this spell before things get any more complicated!”
“But…I was up all night reading,” groaned Twilight. Her head fell back on the pillow with a soft thump, while her eyes failed in their quest to stay open. “Please princess, just a few more hours?”
Celestia groaned as her student fell right back asleep. I didn’t want to have to do this, Twilight. But you leave me no choice… Walking on tip-hoof, she snuck up to Twilight’s left ear, took a deep breath, leaned right in…
“WAKE UP!”
Twilight screamed and jumped right out of the bed, landing face-first on the floor with a heavy thud. Celestia leered over the side, saw that her student was all right, and started giggling. This time, however, Twilight didn’t feel much like joining in. In fact, she was still so tired she didn’t really feel anything. “Now come on, Twilight Sparkle. We’re having waffles!”
----------
By the time Luna stepped out of the meeting, she was already feeling the pressure.
Most nights followed the same formula: bring up a problem, discuss it, ask why Celestia hadn’t done anything yet, engage in playful banter about her sister’s work ethic, and go home. Tonight was a different story. A few of the representatives had already gleaned from the nervous staff that something had happened to Celestia. She could feel the very sense of dread emanating from her own council, and in all honesty she felt the same way.
In any case, this led to a discussion of Celestia’s massive backlog. Next year’s budget had yet to be approved. At least six trade agreements were in hot dispute. Manehatten’s citizens were complaining about higher food prices because of Fillydelphia’s Parasprite infestation. Economic growth was slow across the country. The Cloudsdale Weather Service’s attempt to fix the broken weather schedule had resulted in an overabundance of storm clouds, and the excess would be in Canterlot within twelve hours.
In short, she was already having a mess of a day. And she hadn’t even raised the sun yet…
----------
After breakfast, Celestia and Twilight made their way back to Celestia’s room, the former’s coat covered in syrup and the latter still feeling like a zombie pony. On Twilight’s back sat the books she had borrowed the night before, with not a single burned copy to be found.
The two walked to the nearby bookshelf, where Twilight telekinetically returned the books to their proper places on the shelf. She then pulled down a few others and set them on the floor for Celestia. The filly sat in front of the pile, pulled down a book with her teeth, and forced it open with her hooves. She didn’t even notice Twilight covertly pushing something out of her mane and onto one of the books. “Your Highness, I have a question.”
Celestia looked up from her book, a big grin still plastered beneath the syrup stains. “Of course, Twilight. What do you want to know?”
“Last night, when Princess Luna and I went out of the room, she kind of told me about your foalhood, and…”
The filly’s eyes narrowed to almost perfectly flat line. Twilight suddenly found herself very, very afraid for her future status as Celestia’s pupil. “I see. Twilight Sparkle, I do appreciate your attempts to…interject yourself into my sisterly relationship, but I would appreciate it more if you didn’t concern yourself with my past.”
“But…I was being so insensitive,” said Twilight. “I never even thought you were ever a filly before this, and given your age…I mean…I never thought about how hard it must have been back then. So scared, so lonely, so…”
Celestia raised a hoof, stopping Twilight yet again. “Once again, do not concern yourself with my personal history. Yes, things weren’t perfect, but I was trying to guide the evolution of an entire planet and manage its stagnant ecosystem, all while a reality warper kept making things a living nightmare. My sister and I effectively created the three races of ponies, managed to build an entire civilization on the basis of order and harmony, and invented half those spells you so eagerly study. So, while I enjoy the occasional chat about how terrible things were, can we please get on to the problem at hand?”
Twilight smiled the fakest smile in the history of fake smiles and started sliding towards the door. “So, why do you want me to meet with The Abomi- I mean, Professor Gaze again?”
“Several years ago, long before you were a student, Frosty Gaze wrote a thesis on ancient pony magic. He came to me petitioning to read a few of the banned spellbooks we held in the library’s forbidden section. That included works by the same mad pony that created this spell in the first place.”
“You mean, he’s seen the Arcanus E Dragonus?” asked Twilight.
Celestia scoffed. “No, of course not! That book wasn’t the only one in the collection. The others were far less dangerous, but still had more than a few spells that would be best left forgotten.” The grim determination on Celestia’s face, the same Twilight had seen during Discord’s resurrection, was enough to prove the weight of her words. “It would be easier if we had the originals, but there was a fire in that wing of the library a few months after Gaze had finished his thesis.”
Celestia paused. She could already see the gears whirring in Twilight’s head. “And no, he had nothing to do with it. At the time the fire started, he was a week into a two-week vacation, visiting some friends just outside of Ponyville. In any case, only…that book survived.”
“I see,” muttered Twilight. “Well, I guess I’ll be going then! Just gonna visit the alma mater, catch up on the good old days, visit the cruelest teacher ever so I can find out about some evil pony’s dark magic and bring the most wonderful pony in the history of Equestria back to normal…Hee hee hee, this is going to be a very long day.” With that, Twilight slid out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Celestia stared at the door, unblinking, for several seconds. I swear, that pony can make mountains out of molehills. She then turned back to the open book in front of her. “Well, back to work. I have a lot of ground to cover today, so let’s get cracking.”
----------
The sun rose over the horizon, bathing Ponyville in a blanket of warm, life-giving light. It struggled in place for a while, almost seeming like it was going to just fall right back out of sight, but after about ten minutes it finally rose and locked itself into place. One after another, ponies began to wander out of their homes, simultaneously ready to start a new day and curious about why Celestia was having so much trouble.
One pony in town did know, however. Or rather, one purple-and-green baby dragon.
Spike and Applejack walked out of Sweet Apple Acres’ apple cellar. Spike was still clutching Twilight’s letter against himself like a security blanket. The workhorse, meanwhile, was still regarding him with more of a sense of skepticism than anything else. “Are ya sure that was what Twi’s letter said?”
“Of course!” said Spike. “Princess Celestia never takes vacations, Twilight wouldn’t leave me here if something big was going on, and there’s no way anyone would let Princess Luna rule both day and night. I’m telling you, she’s evil!”
Applejack furrowed her brow at the dragon’s insistence of Luna’s wickedness. “Listen sugahcube, ah don’t know much about Celestia’s sister, but ah’m pretty sure she isn’t the monster ya make her out to be.”
The two walked through the apple orchards, their branches still budding with fresh fruit. By this time, Applejack would normally be halfway through the south side of the farm, a few dozen bushels already ready for the afternoon market. Not this time, however. Big Macintosh was already out there, giving the two a quick nod as they passed, and Apple Bloom was still finishing her morning chores before heading to school. AJ’s job today was far different.
As the two exited the farm and entered Ponyville proper, Spike finally spoke. “So, if you don’t believe this brilliantly-coded letter, why are you going to Canterlot?”
Applejack turned back to the farm. “Cause a certain filly flooded Ponyville with molasses last week!” she shouted.
“Ah said ah was sorry!” answered a filly’s voice.
“Ya’ll still grounded for a week, ya hear! Come right home after school!” She turned back to Spike, quickly reassuming her indoor voice. “Scootaloo’s folks were flat broke, so Rarity and I had to cover the rest of the damages ourselves. But this means we won’t have enough bits to cover our taxes, so ah need to ask Princess Celestia for a - what’s the word Big Macintosh used - extension.”
Spike looked slightly confused at Applejack’s logic. “Then…why are you asking the princess? Can’t you just talk to the ERS?”
“And get trapped in paperwork for a thousand years? No thanks.”
“And what about Twilight?!” said Spike. “Aren’t you forgetting how important she is? Without her, we can’t use the elements to zap Nightmare Moon-”
“Princess Luna.”
“…Princess Luna back to the moon!”
AJ stopped and sighed. She could see the fear for Twilight’s well-being all over Spike’s face. She flashed a quick smile and prepared her trademark honesty. “Ah’m sure Twi’s all right. Ya’ll can’t keep rushing to conclusions like that. If ya want, ah’m sure we can take ya with us. Ah’m sure she’d be burstin’ to see ya by now!” Spike couldn’t help but give a childish grin at the words. “Now, we don’t wanna dilly-dally. That’s Rainbow Dash’s department.”
----------
A quick breakfast and six cups of tea was enough to calm Luna down. As she started making her way to the throne room, however, those blasted nerves started acting up. Last night’s meeting was already a drain, and the sheer volume of work her loving sister had left behind was enough to stress anypony.
Walking alongside the princess was Ruby Dream, a crimson-coated Pegasus and one of Celestia’s attendants. On her back sat a pair of saddle bags, bulging with various papers and bills Luna would have to review. She occasionally gave the moon princess nervous glances from the corner of her eye, something Luna hadn’t failed to notice. It was the same fearful gaze she had experienced so many times before. “Is there something wrong, Miss Dream?”
The Pegasus gasped and turned her attention towards the floor. “N-No, your Highness. I-I was just…surprised when you requested that I be your assistant. I mean, I just started, and I’m sure…”
Luna flashed as comforting a smile as she could. “I have read your file. Trust me, I know you’re qualified for this position. I wouldn’t have asked you to do this otherwise.” And of course, you are a new hire AND not from around Canterlot. Which means you lack a personal connection with Celestia. That way, you will not go running to her if something goes wrong. “So, what is on the agenda today?”
“Ah…well, you have a morning meeting with a representative from the Equestrian Revenue Service to discuss the upcoming tax season.”
“Very good.”
“The early afternoon will consist of open court, as usual. I have a prepared list of all appointments, but you should expect a few unannounced petitions as well.”
“Obviously.”
“And this evening, we will be setting up for tomorrow night’s dinner party. It’s nothing too important; mostly, you just have to say hello to some of the aristocrats and nobles from around Equestria. The menu is already prepared, the necessary furniture has been ordered, and I have already started preparing an excuse for your absence.”
A blue leg shot up in front of Ruby. Both ponies turned on their hooves, the larger one staring at the smaller with enough force to burn the bark off a tree. “What is this about an excuse?”
“W-W-Well, that’s what the other attendants told me to do,” Ruby croaked. “It’s what Princess Celestia always ordered!”
Luna’s face morphed into a low growl. “Princess Celestia, unfortunately, is still in no shape to rule. Until she is, I am in charge, and I will not insult our guests or our subjects by not making a personal appearance. Is that understood?”
Ruby let out an affirmative whinny, her eyes already welling up in fear. Luna’s expressions immediately softened as she realized what she just did. “My apologies. I did not mean to yell at you. It is just…I am sick of everypony comparing me to my sister, acting like she is the most perfect thing in existence and can do absolutely no wrong. I would just appreciate it if you would not simply do what Celestia would request, and instead bring any such information to me. Understood?”
Ruby quickly nodded. “Yes, your Majesty. I-In any case, the ERS agents will be arriving in about thirty minutes.” A small bit of courage surfaced, enough to crack a small joke. “You know how picky those ERS guys are. Everything has to be right on the dot.”
Luna smiled. “Indeed. You slip up just a little, and somepony can get hurt…” She suddenly didn’t feel like laughing anymore.
Thankfully for both parties, their little downer session was interrupted by a loud clash from the other end of the hall. Both ponies galloped towards the palace doors just in time to see half a squadron of guards restrain a certain, familiar member of the aristocracy: Prince Blueblood. “Unhoof me at once, you fools! I have urgent business with the princess!”
“The princess is not receiving unannounced visits at this time, sire!” shouted one of the guards. “Make an appointment, or leave the premises!”
“I will not! The princess must hear my…” The stallion finally noticed the stunned, slack-jawed moon princess staring at him. His courtly manners finally returned to the forefront; he immediately kneeled and cooled his temper. “Princess Luna. I’m surprised to see you at this hour.”
“As am I, nephew,” said Luna. She motioned to the guards, who quickly bowed and stepped aside. “Now, you said you had some urgent business?”
Blueblood pulled himself off the floor and shook his head. “I do, Your Highness, but I must speak with Princess Celestia. It concerns a matter of our nation’s very honor.”
“My…big sister has decided to take an impromptu vacation,” Luna lied. “For the time being, I am fulfilling her royal functions as well as my own.” The shock on Blueblood’s face was palpable. He obviously hadn’t planned on this. “In any case, we can speak over this matter in private. Please, follow me.”
----------
Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns was just as Twilight remembered. An architectural marvel in the middle of Canterlot, the school was always well-maintained by the small army of ponies it employed. The morning light reflected off the freshly-moped floors, creating a marvelous cascade of colors as Twilight walked past. The lockers that lined the walls were all in remarkable shape for such an old object. Even the walls were completely bare, save for the occasional announcement or motivational poster.
As she made her way to Frosty Gaze’s classroom, she occasionally stopped to peek into the classrooms. Each was filled with Unicorn fillies and colts, all of them eagerly jotting down notes on every aspect of magic, from the abstract theories to the practical implementations. The whole thing was enough to almost floor Twilight with such carefree nostalgia.
That all came to a screeching halt the minute she reached Frosty Gaze’s classroom. Her heart stopped dead as she looked through the door window. Inside the auditorium-style classroom sat about twenty of the most terrified fillies and colts in Equestria, facing one of the most fearsome beings this side of the Everfree Forest. Frosty Gaze was a mountain of a pony, a Unicorn that stood just seven or so inches short of Celestia, with a muscled body that would make even Big Macintosh envious. His cobalt coat and ice-blue mane certainly lived up to his name, and the way his nostrils flared as she spoke only added to his menace.
Twilight’s growing sense of dread was only stopped by a screeching, agony-inducing bell, followed by a herd of students racing out of one classroom and into another. By the time the bell echoed a second time, Twilight wasn’t so much standing by the door as she was spinning on her back. She flipped back onto four hooves, shook her head until her eyes stopped derping, and started her way into the classroom.
Frosty Gaze was standing behind his desk, levitating his teaching materials into a black saddle bag. His eyes were facing away from the door, too busy cataloging all his findings to pay attention to the mortally-afraid mare. The rest of the room was empty; thankfully, this was an empty class period. Twilight took a few more steps down into the room, swallowing a lump in her throat. “Um…Professor Gaze?”
“Office hours are three to five. If you can’t read a syllabus, I don’t know how you managed to…” When he finally bothered to look at the speaker, his eyes narrowed even further. “Ah, Twilight Sparkle. It’s been a long time. What brings Celestia’s golden filly back to my classroom?”
Twilight’s anxiety was rapidly rising to Fluttershy levels. “Uh, you see, Princess Celestia said you, er, studied some ancient magic for a thesis, and I was…”
Gaze wasn’t just looking at Twilight now; he was making his best “melt your face off” expression. The Unicorn felt those last few bits of inner strength start slipping away. “If it’s any business to you, then yes, I did write a thesis on illegal spells. And why is it so important for you? Does it have something to do with Princess Celestia’s disappearance?”
There was an almost audible silence before Twilight spoke. “What do you…?”
“Do you really think the princesses are the only ones up at that hour? A few ponies saw Princess Luna raise the sun this morning; after failing a few dozen times, I might add. The Equestria Daily printed an emergency edition just for the news. Nearly all of Canterlot knows by now, and soon so will the rest of Equestria. I had to spend half of class telling everypony Equestria wasn’t going to suddenly explode!”
Twilight’s eyes shifted about in their sockets. “Er…Princess Celestia has...decided to takeavacation! She hasn’t had one in a thousand years, so she asked Princess Luna to take on her responsibilities for a few days!”
“…Have I ever told you you’re a terrible liar?” Frosty Gaze levitated the bag’s zipper shut and floated it onto his back. He started his way towards the door, oblivious to his former pupil’s shaking. “In any case, I have a very busy day, so if you will excuse me, Miss Sparkle…”
Gaze was halfway up the steps when Twilight finally found her last remaining nerve. “Sir…have you ever heard of the Arcanus E Draconus?”
The entire room went silent, so much so the two ponies could hear the clock ticking away. The stallion turned to the mare, his cold glare replaced with one of pure horror. “Wh…Why do you ask?”
Twilight now had the advantage, and she was ready to use it. She propped herself out of her almost complete melding with the wood floor and walked right up to Frosty’s muzzle. “Before Princess Celestia left for her vacation, she told me the book was stolen. She also said you read other pieces of the collection as a part of your thesis. I need to know as much about the magic this pony used as I can.”
Gaze snorted. “And I assume this has the Princess’ approval?”
“Of course.”
The stallion sighed. “…Whatever Celestia wants, she can have. Wait here, I will be right back.”
----------
This morning, Celestia was sure of only one thing: she was bored out of her skull.
Not that work like this was ever the most exciting thing in Equestria. About ninety percent of her working day was spent reading the latest paperwork from Luna’s own cabinet, as well as any other piece of royal business that worked its way into Canterlot. After some deliberations, a few counter-proposals, and a lot of hoofwork uncovering every last shred of information related to the problem, she would make some decisions, her loyal subjects would enact them, and all would be well.
Needless to say, the practice had worn itself out about seven hundred years ago. Making things worse was Luna; Celestia loved her sister dearly (even if she did just knock off a few feet from her height), but the Moon Princess was always trying to rush things through without as much as a second thought. Celestia knew it was just youthful impatience, coupled with Luna’s own guilt over her past, and that she would eventually grow out of it. Still, it could be more than a little irritating.
Even then, however, she could usually just soldier through using her love for Equestria and concern for all her subjects. Now, she was so full of youthful energy and spirit it was a miracle she wasn’t bouncing off the walls.
Celestia had to stifle another yawn as she clumsily turned a page with her hooves. Her lack of magic was already troubling, and was only made worse by having an entire palace full of things meant to be operated by magic. Just cleaning her breakfast mess was a challenge-and-a-half. Her hair and tooth brushes were inoperable with bare hooves, the handles on the tub and sink were almost impossible to turn, and her first time trying to apply shampoo just about blinded her. If a cure wasn’t found soon, she might have no choice but to actually ask her servants for help, something she really didn’t want to do for such small things.
The book, Principle Theories on the Nature of Curses and Their Effects, was just as long-winded and dull as the title. “Every page is the same thing over and over again,” Celestia murmured. “Who knew you could stretch ‘curses are bad’ over eight hundred pages. And nothing about removing them? Whatever I paid this pony to write this, it’s too much!”
She slammed the book closed as dramatically as she could (which amounted to a very soft thud) and walked back to the bookshelf. She climbed up the stepstool, stopping on all fours at each step until she reached the top. Jutting out slightly was a faded brown-covered book simply titled How to Break Curses in Your Everyday Life. A self-help book. Well, it can’t be a worse place to look than anything else I’ve tried.
Celestia clasped the book between her teeth and started pulling. Almost immediately, a small object rattled off the book’s top and smacked the princess on the forehead. The shock startled her enough to release the book and topple backwards. She landed on the floor just as another, similarly-sized object landed next to her.
It was a pair of cheap, plastic toys. One was a barely-articulated pink pony, with a strawberry mane and tail made of coarse fiber. The other was some sort of soldier pony, with what looked like an automated crossbow strapped onto his back. Celestia stared at the two in dumbfounded confusion. “How did these get here? I never…”
It struck her like a bolt of lightning. When Twilight put the books back…she must have snuck these on top of that book! Clever girl…
“I-In any case,” Celestia said to nopony in particular, “I’m much too old to play with dolls. Besides, I have a lot of work to do.”
Her eyes naturally wandered back to her books, scanning the hundreds of tomes for anything that could possibly help her. Not a single title stood out. Celestia realized there was nothing she could really accomplish without Frosty Gaze’s thesis as a starting point. In her utter defeat, her mind kept wandering back to those two two-bit toys Twilight had brought her. “I guess I could use a break,” she said. “Five minutes, and then these are going right back on the bookshelf.”
----------
A pair of dark-coated guards threw open the throne room doors, allowing Luna, Blueblood and Ruby to wander through and into the throne room proper. Besides the three and the usual guards, the room was completely empty. The cleaning staff had finished polishing the stained glass windows only an hour prior, adding a rainbow of colors to the room’s already substantial majesty.
Once the two were about halfway to the throne, the guards slammed the doors shut. A loud bang rattled through the hall, causing all three to shake in surprise. Neither Blueblood nor Ruby had ever been in the room with the doors closed, and Luna was so nervous a crawling caterpillar fifty yards away would send her running. Fortunately for her, royal duty quickly outweighed her gnawing fear. “So…Prince Blueblood, what is this dire situation?”
Blueblood raised a hoof to his mouth and cleared his throat. “Your Majesty, are you familiar with a town called Ponyville?”
Luna couldn’t help but smile at the mention of that lovely little town. She could still remember her first day as a free pony after a thousand years, as well as her last visit during Nightmare Night. Just being so welcomed after a millennium of imprisonment was a wonderful joy for the princess. She had been meaning to make another visit, but her assimilation back into Equestrian society had proven a difficult process as it was. “I am aware of it, yes.”
“And you know of the disaster at the Grand Galloping Gala?”
“Of course I do,” said Luna. “It was the talk of Canterlot for weeks. But…that was months ago.”
Blueblood huffed. “And that is the problem! The ruffians that destroyed the Gala were all from Ponyville, and Princess Celestia allowed them to go free. They are responsible for destroying the entire ballroom, releasing all the animals in the garden, and insulting the honor of every pony in attendance, including my own! And Ponyville’s citizens still harbor these fugitives! We must show these ponies that any disgrace to the crown will not be tolerated!”
As she listened to Blueblood’s spiel, Luna could feel the nerves in her forehead throb. She knew her nephew was vain and petty, the very kind of noblepony that made the Royal Pony Sisters regret ever making a ruling class. But this was a new low. “Are you telling me…you want me to destroy an entire town, simply because a few ponies crashed the Grand Galloping Gala?”
Blueblood and Ruby could almost taste the sheer anger Luna was emitting. The latter merely shrank back a few steps; while the former used his most prized asset (an ego that could swallow half a star system) to quickly regain his footing. “Your Highness, please be reasonable. Princess Celestia, as wise and gentle a ruler as she may be, is far too lenient on troublemakers in Equestria. If we do not take immediate action, there is no telling how far this chaos will spread.”
Luna couldn’t tell if it was the sleep deprivation, the insane amount of work that faced her, or her nephew’s sheer audacity that got on her last nerve, but it was more than enough. “And you think this going to make things smoother?! Prince Blueblood, I will not turn Equestria’s military against my subjects just because a party went badly.”
Blueblood’s mood immediately shifted, his mind formulating another plan. “Then arrest the ones directly responsible!”
Luna’s anger cooled from “volcanic” to “significantly above room temperature.” “Perhaps that would be a more…measured response. Do we know who these ‘vile criminals’ are?”
“The so-called ‘Bearers of the Elements of Harmony.’”
And Luna’s rage jumped right back up to “supernova.” “The Bearers of the Elements of Harmony. The same six ponies that freed me from Nightmare Moon.”
Blueblood snorted; either he didn’t mind Luna’s growing inferno, or was just too clueless to notice. “Yes, those same ponies. If we can have them arrested, tried and sentenced before Celestia returns, I am sure we can prevent what could be a major disaster.”
“And what disaster would that be?!”
“Everypony’s reaction to you as a ruler, of course!”
Luna could feel the synapses in her brain snapping. She raised and slammed her front hooves so hard the room itself shuddered. “How dare you! I am your princess and your aunt! You will not- I repeat, NOT- speak to me in such a way!”
The prince briefly trembled from his sovereign’s fury, but his wounded pride quickly overcame both his sense of growing horror and any feeling of civility towards Luna. “What do you plan to tell them? Everypony in Canterlot can already see something is going on! And when they learn Celestia, the most beloved pony in all of existence, has completely disappeared, they will ask questions. They will think Princess Luna, the former Nightmare Moon that tried to destroy Equestria only a year prior, is behind all this! What do you think they will do then?”
Luna froze, Blueblood’s words working their way through her mind. Her voice became tinged with fear. “…And how will destroying Ponyville help me?”
Blueblood’s overconfident smirk returned. “As your nephew, I have considerable influence amongst the rest of Celestia’s court. Give me a chance to avenge my honor, and I will make sure they stay on your side. Refuse, and you will find your job far more difficult than you imagined.”
For the first time this entire meeting, Ruby finally managed to squeak out something. “You…You’re trying to threaten the princess!”
The stallion sneered at the Pegasus; she responded by unfolding her wings and covering her face. “In any case, your Majesty, this is for the good of Equestria. Surely even you can see that.”
Luna was silent for several seconds, almost sweating from the sheer weight of Blueblood’s threat. He’s right about my subjects. Everypony still hates me after what happened. I knew this was going to happen. Why did I agree to this? Even as a foal, Celestia would have more…
Her view gradually shifted away from Blueblood, going back and forth between the still-cowering Ruby Dream and the throne itself. She could feel her muscles tighten as she did so, a new vigor rushing through her veins. No. It’s my fault Celestia is the way she is, and I will be responsible for Equestria. No matter how many stand against you, a princess never betrays her subjects to anyone.
She turned back to her spoiled brat of a nephew. “Prince Blueblood, I have reconsidered your ‘offer.’” Blueblood could sense his imminent victory. “And it is my opinion that this matter…is to be dropped.”
Blueblood’s jaw dropped. “What? But…have you…”
“We will no longer discuss anything related to Ponyville’s destruction, or the arrests of those responsible. I am certain Princess Celestia already saw to those matters.”
The prince’s reaction was swift and, in a word, stupid. “And you think the other ponies will just go along with you taking over? Are you so certain everypony will accept a known traitor? A pony that was willing to sentence everything in Equestria to certain death because nopony liked her nights?”
“Furthermore…” Luna leaned right into Blueblood’s face. “Attempting to threaten a government official is a very serious charge. Trying to threaten me? That goes beyond being a mere criminal. Far stronger foals than you have tried such a thing, and they soon found themselves wishing they had never been born. I don’t know what happened to your ancestors to produce someone as stupid as you, but I can assure you, none of them would be dumb enough to even think about something like this.”
All light in the room instantly vanished. In its place was an unrelenting darkness, chilling every bone in Blueblood’s body. Ruby was nowhere to be seen, simply vanishing into the darkening ether. The prince hunched as low to the ground as possible, his eyes locked onto Luna’s as if in a hypnotic trance.
Luna’s voice boomed through the hall, betraying something fierce and terrible inside her. “You have insulted my sister and I, threatened the security of our nation, and dared to try and give me orders. You are a petty, foolish creature, and I will not allow something like you to endanger my land and ponies. Mere banishment is not enough. I should have you destroyed for this!”
The prince’s entire body was drenched in terror sweat. “P-Please, Aunt Luna! I…I’m sorry! Just let me go! I’ll never do it again!”
Luna let out a dark, bitter laugh. “Let you go? What about Equestria’s honor? Wouldn’t that just spread more chaos across the land?” Blueblood could only whimper in reply. The princess’ mocking sneer slid into a deep, disappointed frown. “My duties include the execution of all of Equestria’s laws, and by right I shouldn’t let you walk out of this room alive. Still, you are family, as distant as it may be. That’s the only reason I haven’t winked you into a griffon banquet hall yet.” Blueblood’s whimpers and moans only intensified.
“However, you cannot go unpunished. I am placing you under house arrest. You are to remain in your home until I am satisfied you have learned how to properly treat your superiors. Until that time, I do not want to see you on the streets, or near the palace, or even speaking to a member of this court. If you do, I will make sure you suffer every indignity imaginable, plus a few ponykind has long since forgotten. Have I made myself clear?”
Blueblood quickly nodded. “Yes, yes! Just don’t kill me!”
The darkness melted away, revealing a completely untouched throne room. Blueblood was still drowning in his own perspiration, while Luna went from “horrific monster” to “cute blue yearling.” She whistled, and a pair of guards immediately rushed into the throne room. “Please take Prince Blueblood back to his estate. As of this moment, he is to be considered under house arrest, on my orders. I want a full squadron of guards placed around his residence at all times, and I want daily reports of his actions.” The guards nodded, lifted Blueblood to his hooves with their wings, and escorted him out of the room. The once-proud stallion made no attempt to resist, calmly accepting his punishment for the time being.
Once the doors were closed, and she had a few seconds to cool off, the moon princess couldn’t help but smile. She never planned to kill Blueblood, of course. All she had to do was show him a taste of her power and make him fall in line. No wonder Celestia has so much trouble with him. ‘A princess may be stern, but can never show anger,’ my hoof. That was so satisfying, I…
It was right then that Luna noticed something was missing; Ruby was nowhere to be seen. The sound of shivering and clicking from behind the throne quickly revealed her location. Only Ruby’s face could be seen from behind the chair; she was even more terrified than Blueblood. Luna started to say something, but at the first sound from the princess’ mouth the Pegasus immediately pulled her face out of view.
Luna’s eyes drifted to the floor. “I...I apologize. I…Sometimes, when my sister and I get angry, we…I mean…”
Very cautiously, Ruby took a few steps from behind the throne and into normal view. “Princess…I apologize, but…what was that?”
“Something I never wanted to use,” said Luna. “I was…just like her again.”
“It was so dark…and so cold…and you seemed so angry.”
Luna turned her back to the still-terrified mare. In her rage, she had forgotten what that spell did to anypony caught in it, as well as its effects on the entire room. It was no small wonder a normal pony would be terrified of such a power. It was the same kind magic she had used as Nightmare Moon. “If you are uncomfortable working with me, you are free to go. I would not blame you.”
The attendant eyed the door nervously. Her brain and gut both told her to get out of there, before the possibly-not-former Nightmare Moon turned on her, too. When she glanced back at Luna, however, something made her stop. She had never seen anypony quite as miserable as her right now. A few clopping steps at a time, Ruby approached the softly weeping princess. “I…I…I’ll stay, if you still need me. But…can we never do that again?”
Luna looked up at the Pegasus in disbelief, before a small smile spread across her face. “I promise.” The two finally let out a small laugh, the tension washing away. That incident behind her, Luna finished her walk to the throne, plopping her rear end on its lush cushion. “So, the ERS will be here in a few minutes. Once our meeting has concluded, I will start clearing Celestia’s backlog. I am certain this will not be so…”
She sniffed at the air. “Why does this room smell like bananas?”
----------
It was about ten minutes before Frosty Gaze returned, a rather large tome on his back. He levitated the book over to Twilight, dropping it in front of her. On the front, written in gold ink, was the title A Study of Dark Magic and its Effects on Equestrian Law. “There it is. All that remains of the mad pony Kuchen.”
Twilight batted an eyebrow. “Kuchen?”
“The Unicorn that wrote the Arcanus E Draconus, as well as everything else in that collection.” Frosty Gaze strode past his former student and took a seat at his desk. “He really was a lunatic, if that’s what you’re thinking. He theorized that, given enough magical power, anypony could actually ‘ascend’ and become an Alicorn, just like Princesses Celestia and Luna.”
Twilight started leafing through the book. Sure enough, it contained several excerpts from a number of other texts, all of them written in a similar manner to the Youth Restoration Spell Luna had used. Frosty Gaze may have been a mean instructor, but he was also very thorough in his research. “If…If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to him?”
Frosty Gaze sighed. He obviously wasn’t keen on talking about something like him. “As far as I know, he never grew wings or gained an Earth pony’s strength and endurance. However, his research was so dangerous that Celestia had to take notice. You see, even the spells he pioneered that didn’t drain the souls from ponies or summon demons were designed as actual curses. They may be an old pony’s tale now, but back then they were very real.”
He paused, collecting his thoughts for the next strike against Twilight’s sanity. “The problem with curses is, they’re designed to cause harm to ponies against their will. At first, they were just a few pranks, but after a while they transformed into something far worse. Kuchen was cursing entire villages for not serving him. He sank coastal towns and turned their inhabitants into sea ponies. He stripped pegasi of their wings and fed them to dragons. And that was his good days. When Celestia learned about this, she came to stop him, and needless to say he didn’t survive the encounter. After that, she ordered that all his books and materials be locked away, lest some other pony find them and, say, turn their sibling into a foal or something.”
Twilight giggled very nervously at the story. It was already difficult to imagine a pony that overwhelmingly evil, but the same pony making a youth spell was…bizarre. “Yes, well…I really do need to get going. Thank you for your time, Professor Gaze.” She immediately turned about and started towards the door, ready to hurry back to the palace. Frosty Gaze made no move to stop her. He just opened a drawer and levitated out a bottle of liquor.
He was finally free of that burden. It was time to celebrate.
----------
Luna couldn’t believe it. She was now sitting on Celestia’s throne, ruling over the day as well as the night. In front of her stood representatives from the Equestrian Revenue Service, the same agency she had helped found only a few years before her banishment. All of them still wore the same black jackets, dyed their coats a solid brown, and had only their cutie marks to tell each other apart; a simple scare tactic to make sure nopony tried to actually skip on their payments. In the past, it was one of her prouder creations, a way to keep Equestria well-financed over the millennia.
And right now, she wished she could invent time travel, go back a thousand years, and smack her younger self upside the head for creating these buffoons.
The leader of the group, a Unicorn, had just spent the last two hours reading a hundred-page speech, pausing only to replace “Princess Celestia” with “Princess Luna.” Luna simply sat on the throne, barely holding back her fifteenth yawn in the last forty minutes while the agent simply reminded her of the intricacies of the very system she had created. Ruby was seated next to her, taking notes for the princess thanks to some very dexterous hooves and a quill in her mouth.
“…And so, the Income Tax Act of 938 can be clearly applied to those within the fifteen percent tax bracket, despite Princess Celestia’s claims to the contrary. It is the opinion of our fellow auditors that any requests for an extension or deferral using this act should therefore be denied in any such circumstance.” He levitated his speech into a nearby briefcase. “Do you have any comments, your Highness?”
Luna didn’t have anything to say. She didn’t know what to say. She had read and re-read said act dozens of times over the last year, and not a single thing that came out of the stallion’s mouth matched the law’s actual intention. “I…will take your legal appraisal into consideration. Is there any other business we need to attend to?”
“No, your Highness. We just wanted to inform you of some new changes to the tax codes,” the agent said. “We bid you a good day.” With that, the entire herd of ERS agents filed out of the throne room in a single file, the door closing behind them.
Luna stared at the door, waited about fifteen seconds for the group to be far, far away from the throne room, and finally turned to Ruby. “What was the point of all that?”
Ruby looked over her notes. “Well…it just looks like they wanted you to follow some specific acts more closely than your sister did last year.”
“Then why hold up two hours of my time?” said Luna. “We could have handled this over the mail. Do they really think so little of my sister and I that they have to set up this meeting months in advanced, just to tell us something we already know?” Ruby dared not answer. The princess roared from the frustration of it all. “Never mind. If you will excuse me, I need to speak with my sister for a few minutes.”
----------
The great fortress stood in defiance of Princess Celestia’s wise and loving reign. An impenetrable wall of encyclopedias and reference books supported a roof made of atlases and thesauruses. Guarding it were two golden dragons, their fanged mouths perpetually opened to gobble up any ponies that dared to pass by.
On the other side of the room stood Princess Celestia and her two cohorts, Lady Pinkinstuff and General Smashemup. On Celestia’s head was a small pot she had snuck out of the kitchen, its handle facing her backside. “There it is gentleponies, the legendary fortress of Bookdor!”
She raised Lady Pinkinstuff with her right hoof. “Oh no,” said the lady, with about as much whimsy as Celestia could muster. “Whatever shall we do?”
She raised General Smashemup with her left hoof. “Grrr!” he said, sounding more like a troll than a pony. “I’m gonna crush those no-good bad guys!”
Celestia closed her eyes, trying to look as authoritative as possible. “A very good idea, General. And I’ll lead the charge myself.”
“Growl, no! It’s too dangerous! Such a perfect princess like yourself cannot possibly go into battle!” said Smashemup.
“Send your sister, Princess Luna. She can stop the evil of Bookdor!” said Pinkinstuff.
Celestia sighed. “Alas, my sister has been a very naughty pony and has to take a time out. We three are the only hope for Equestria. Are you ready?”
“Ready, my princess!” said the lady.
“Snarl!” snarled the General.
“Then CHARGE!”
Celestia reared up onto her hind legs, both toys still resting on her front hooves. She twirled and spun around the room, making wooshing sounds and explosion noises as she passed. When she finally reached the fortress itself, she set herself back on her haunches, placing the toys in front of the two dragon-shaped bookends. “Gasp!” she said. “If we are to destroy Bookdor, we must get past the dragon twins!”
“Let me at them!” shouted General Smashemup. Celestia grabbed the toy in her mouth and started smacking it against the two dragons, the chunk of plastic making a dull click upon impact. The dragons tried to fight back, using Celestia’s front hooves to shake and lunge about, but the General’s speed was just too much, and soon one dragon toppled over, slamming into the other one and sending it falling three inches to its doom.
Celestia spat out the General, rose to all fours, and pointed a hoof at the waiting fortress. “The path is open, Lady Pinkinstuff! Now to destroy Bookdor!” She grabbed the pink figure between her teeth and leaped into the air, wings extended. With a resounding flop, she landed belly-first onto the structure, sending it toppling in a dozen directions. When the smoke cleared, Celestia dramatically pulled herself out of the rubble, Lady Pinkinstuff still firmly caught between her teeth. Her pan was gone, having slid off during the initial assault, but it had served its purpose.
Before she could take the toy out of her mouth, however, Bookdor’s final revenge scheme began. A hoof slipped on an open encyclopedia, sending the foal tumbling to the ground. The sudden impact forced her to cough up the toy, which landed on her open windowsill. Celestia jumped after the thing, but she was still not used to grabbing things while moving with her hooves, and ended up only pushing it out the window entirely. She could only stare as her comrade in arms tumbled down the side of the palace and shattered on the stone walkway below. The last she saw of it was a pair of ponies, one white and one orange, picking it up before heading towards the palace entrance.
Celestia continued to stare out the window, her mind replaying the events that had just transpired. Behind her was a room in disarray, a far cry from the almost OCD organization she normally advocated. About half of the books she had used for her little play exercise were ancient and irreplaceable, even if the information inside had been copied to thousands of other titles over the millennia. The one surviving figure sat forgotten underneath a copy of Ponyland Tales. And now that her mind was free from building Pinkinstuff’s elaborate backstory as the daughter of the pirate king Captain Coltt, she could finally glance at the grandfather clock in the corner.
Two hours.
She had been goofing off…for two hours.
The princess sighed and walked back to her bed, jumped on, and curled up on her stomach. What was I thinking? I’m a grown mare. I’m far too old to be playing with dolls. And Luna’s still out there, carrying out what should be my duties. It’s all her fault. Stupid Luna making me feel bad.
As she sat there, wallowing in her own self-pity, Celestia remembered Twilight’s little speech from yesterday. She thinks this might be fun? Well…I guess I did have a little bit. That book fort was pretty cool, and I never really got the chance to actually play as a foal.
Her head suddenly perked up. Come to think of it, I really did have a cruddy foalhood. Maybe this is a chance to make up for that. That must be why Twilight left those toys there today. I really need to thank her when she gets back.
The princess’ head sank back into her front hooves. Too bad she can’t fix the one big problem…
----------
Rarity and Applejack brought the broken toy back to the others. Both hindlegs were completely shattered, the face was cracked in a rather unsettling pattern, and the whole thing screamed “fire sale” more than anything else. “Who do you suppose would dump their garbage right in front of the palace?” asked Rarity.
The other four party members looked at the thing with equal puzzlement. Spike gasped as he realized what it was. “That’s one of my old toys!” The ponies looked at him with a mixture of surprise and gentle glee. Spike nervously rubbed his upper arm and shied away. “I mean…one of Twilight’s old toys. That she showed me once, and I certainly never played with. Heh.”
“Nice save there, buddy,” said Rainbow Dash. “Now how about telling us HOW you plan to save Twilight and Princess Celestia?”
Spike cleared his throat, straightened his spines, and puffed out his chest. “Very easy. We know the last time Luna turned evil, Celestia banished her to the moon using the Elements of Harmony. Now, the first thing we do is find Twilight. Then, we grab the Elements and use them to seal Luna way for another thousand years!”
The silence was broken by none other than Pinkie Pie. “Um, Spike? Are we sure Luna is a bad pony? I mean, what if she’s really good and we banish her anyway, and then Celestia comes back and gets really angry with us and banishes us to the moon with her?” Her eyes suddenly lit up as sugarcoated fantasies pushed out the bad thoughts. “But I’ve never thrown a party on the moon before! That will be the greatest challenge yet! And we’ll all be there together! Oh, I’m liking this plan! How about you girls?”
“Um…excuse me, Spike, but, um, how are we supposed to get to the Elements?” asked Fluttershy. “ I mean, Princess Celestia keeps them under lock and key.”
“Which means Princess Luna can’t get to them,” said Spike. “After what happened with Discord, Celestia taught Twilight the spell to open the lock in case something happened to her. That’s why we have to find her first.”
“No, the first thing we’re gonna do is find Princess Luna and ask her what’s goin’ on,” said Applejack. “Pinkie’s right.”
“About parties on the moon?” asked Pinkie.
Applejack’s brain quickly flipped into safety mode, the only thing that allowed anypony to talk to Pinkie Pie when she was in one of her flights of fancy. “Um…no. Ah mean about findin’ out if Luna really is evil. So far, all we’ve got is Twilight’s story, and ah don’t really know if that’s a hundred percent accurate, if y’all catch my drift.”
Spike gave a resigned sigh. “Alright, if you really want us to get caught, then fine. We’ll first go talk to Queen Meanie…”
“Hey, I said that first!” said Pinkie.
“…And then we’ll go rescue Twilight. Happy, Applejack?”
The workhorse nodded in agreement, and all five ponies wandered into the palace. Spike waited until they were all inside before looking up at the sky. “Pink Pony Princess, I promise you, your death shall be avenged!”
----------
There was a sudden knock on Celestia’s door, followed by Luna’s voice. “Sister? May I speak with you for a minute?”
Celestia turned towards the door, but didn’t move from the bed. Before she could respond, the door swung open. Luna stood on the other side, quite upset about something. “Celestia, I need to talk to you about…” Her eyes widened at the disaster in the bedroom. “What happened in here?”
“Just a little redecorating,” said Celestia.
Luna telekinetically shut the door behind her and started slowly, carefully walking towards her sister. It was as she was sidestepping a pile of long outdated dictionaries that she noticed the little soldier figure. She willed the object into the air and floated it in front of Celestia. “What is this?”
Celestia looked back up at the toy, a small smile on her face. “That? It’s just something I found. There was another one, but…it fell out the window.”
“She…gave you toys.” Celestia could see the anger and disappointment seething underneath Luna’s blue coat. “You were supposed to be figuring out a cure, and instead you were playing with toys.” She released the figure, causing it to plop right onto the bed. Celestia immediately grabbed it with both hooves and clung it close to her body, just in case Luna decided to finish the job that gravity began.
“I…I was just having a little fun,” said Celestia.
Luna’s frown only deepened. “Well, while you were having fun, I was stuck listening to the ERS talk about how we are a bunch of spineless rulers for not twisting every line of the tax code against our subjects! They spent two hours lecturing me on the laws you passed!” Luna sat on the side of the bed, the impact shaking Celestia briefly. “And here you are, playing with toys.”
Celestia climbed onto her feet, spun around, and looked Luna just a few inches to the left of her eyes. “What? Did you really think my job was just about ‘tea parties and galas?’ Half my day is spent in meetings, and the other half is just reading all the paperwork that passes my way. Princesses don’t spend all their time at parties, you know.”
“Believe me, I know,” Luna growled. “I also know about you making up excuses to skip the monthly dinner parties.”
“Of course I do,” said Celestia. “Do you have any idea how boring those things are? There are a lot better things to do with your time than stand around and listen to a bunch of silver spooned ponies stab each other in the back for your favor. So, what excuse are you going to use?”
Luna jumped off the bed and pointed an accusing hoof at Celestia. “I am not going to excuse myself! As princess, it is my duty to attend to all formal functions, as boring as they may be.”
Celestia stared at Luna in utter bewilderment. “I’m actually kind of amazed you’d want to do this. I thought you hated parties.”
“I do. But I am still serving in your stead, and that means I have to go. And I want you to get back to studying. You are a big pony, Celestia, and I do not need you acting like how you look. I want a counterspell ready by tonight, understand?”
Celestia growled and trembled with pent-up frustration. That small mental switch that kept her real feelings in check snapped like a dried twig. She jumped from the bed, landing right in front of her big sister with a heavy thonk. “Let me get this straight. It’s a bad thing when I want to get some enjoyment out of this, but when you want to dress me up as a prank, it’s perfectly fine?”
“N-N-No, that is not what I said,” said Luna. She was never expecting Celestia to react like quite this. “I just mean, you have been trying so hard to act normal, and I just thought…”
“Yes, I tried to be my normal, adult self. But I’m not. I can’t stand my favorite foods, I can’t use anything in the palace, my horn and wings don’t work, and nopony takes me seriously!” She could feel another tantrum worming its way up, but Celestia didn’t care. “I tried to study, but it was pointless. If there was a way to reverse this in any of these books, I would know it already. So instead, I decided to relax a little. And you know what? I LIKED IT.”
The two stared at each other, both unsure of what to say next. Finally, Luna managed to intone something. “Are you saying…you want to stay like this?”
Celestia shook her head. “No, of course I don’t. There are only two things that really matter to me: my sister, and Equestria. But right now, I just want to turn my brain off for a little bit, try to have some fun with this. I mean, this was supposed to be in good fun, riiiiiiiight?”
Luna winced from Celestia’s accusing glare. “Um…yes, of course.” Her courage gradually returned, allowing her to at least calm down and walk a bit closer towards her sister. “Listen, I…I am sorry I got upset with you. I am still adjusting to performing your duties as well, and it is not quite what I was expecting. I even exploded at Blueblood, can you believe it?”
Celestia’s eyes grew so wide they threatened to swallow her entire forehead. “Blueblood was here? Was this about Ponyville?”
Luna sighed. “You mean, about burning it down and arresting the same ponies that saved me? Then yes. Fortunately, he will not be a problem for a while.”
Celestia didn’t quite know how to take Luna’s statement, but in any case, her curse had served one useful purpose: no Blueblood. “Luna…can I please go to the garden? It’s just so dull in here.”
The gears clicked in Luna’s head. The garden…that is in the back of the palace, away from the common areas. We have no tour groups today, and there should not be anypony else going back there. I guess it wouldn’t hurt anypony if she stayed out there for a little while. It will get her out of my mane, anyway. “Sure, why not? I have to go that way anyway. Is it alright if your big sister escorts you?”
Celestia snorted and snickered. “Sure, big sister.”
The two walked towards the door, sidestepping the mess Celestia had made. Luna’s mind was wracked with worry about what this entailed, whether or not her sister was getting too used to the change, but she didn’t care. At least something slightly positive was coming out of this mess. And once I work through the royal business Celestia left me, I’m sure it can only get better.
The two stepped out the door and into the hallway.
And ran right into Spike and five Bearers of the Elements of Harmony.
----------
From within his house/prison, Blueblood fumed. Guards wandered every inch of his private estate, keeping tabs on his every move. The servants joined in his plight, weeping openly about their master’s misfortune. For the prince, however, this was not nearly enough to soothe his damaged self-worth.
Within his study, Blueblood paced impatiently. “She’s a monster. If I leave her on the throne, she’ll drive Equestria into ruin! Any minute now, she could bring down the sun forever. This is about more than Ponyville now! I must save Equestria from Princess Luna!”
His eyes wandered down to a small sheet of paper, bearing the name of a few “private investigators” he had employed in the past. His lips formed a smile. “She said I can’t talk to the court. She never said anything about…the lower classes of ponies.”
----------
The two groups stared at each other, their jaws hanging loose. It was Princess Luna who could finally say something. “My goodness, I…I was not expecting any visitors at this time. And five of the most important ponies in Equestria, too? This is certainly an honor. But...how did you get back here? And what are you doing here?”
The Ponyvilleians were far more focused on the small, white, rainbow-haired filly than on the moon princess at the moment. “Is…Is that…” Applejack started to stammer.
“P-P-P-Princess Celestia?” finished Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash darted over the others’ heads, landing next to the still-shocked mare and filly. Celestia tried to make herself as small as possible, her face blush with embarrassment. Dash glanced the filly over, pausing when she saw her cutie mark. “Yep, it’s Princess Celestia all…right…” The information finally clicked in Rainbow Dash’s head, sending her screaming to the back row of the party. Right now, everypony else was feeling the same way, including Luna.
That is, save for Spike. The dragon was more dumbfounded than anything else. “Princess Celestia…who did this to you? What happened to Twilight? What’s going on here?!”
Before Celestia could say anything, Luna interjected. “If you are worried about Celestia or Twilight, I can assure you they are both all right. An evil Unicorn managed to break into the palace and turned Celestia into the foal you see right now. That is why I have assumed her duties as well as my own. Twilight is researching a counterspell, and once that is found, Celestia will be turned right back to normal.”
“Then…what about her supposed ‘vacation?’”asked Rarity.
Celestia managed to find enough nerve to talk. “We never said just what kind of vacation it was.”
“Well, it’s just great that you’re not in danger!” said Pinkie Pie. “You guys know what this calls for?”
“What’s going on here?”
“A PAR- huh?”
Everyone turned about to see Twilight, freshly returned from Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Her five friends and assistant all tackled her in a group hug, sending Frosty Gaze’s thesis flying into a wall. Celestia and Luna simply looked at each other, first in puzzlement, and then in joy at seeing Twilight with friends.
After about two minutes of this, the seven finally managed to stand. “So, what are you guys doing here?” asked Twilight.
“Well, when Spike her got yer letter, he was worried sick about ya,” said Applejack. “So we decided to come by and see how y’all were doin’ up here.”
“Princess Luna told us all about what happened to Princess Celestia,” said Rarity. “We are just so glad the two of you are all right.”
Twilight sighed in relief. “Good. If I had to hide the fact that she stole the most forbidden spell book in Equestria and turned Celestia into a filly as a practical joke, I’d probably go crazy!”
The six newcomers froze before slowly turned back to Luna. Gone were the warm, inviting looks of friendship; now, they only screamed betrayal and lies. Luna let out a mournful, defeated moaned. Why is this happening to me…?
TO BE CONTINUED…
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Six
It didn’t take Twilight long to realize she just made another mistake.
The baby dragon and five ponies made only a few steps towards Luna, as if afraid she was going to vaporize them all in an instant or wink the lot of them into the cornfield. “So…an evil unicorn did this, huh?” said Rainbow Dash.
Luna reared back a few steps, spreading her wings in case things got ugly. A part of her wanted to use the same magic she had used on Blueblood, terrify the Elements of Harmony into letting her go. It would be so easy; just inspire the fear-of-alicorns in them and they’d all go home, tails between their legs. Even as she thought this, however, the more decent part of her actively rebelled, telling her how giving in to the darkness of her past would only make things worse. All this inner turmoil did was made her outer self look even worse. “I had not intended to lie to you, but I…”
“I bet that’s why you asked Twilight over here yesterday!” said Spike. “You were using her as part of your joke!” The other ponies gasped in horror, their resentment towards the current situation and its instigator growing with every passing moment.
Fluttershy looked at the still-cowering Celestia. “Princess…is this true?”
Celestia was quiet at first, not sure whether to give a straight answer or lie to save Luna’s bacon. Unfortunately for her sister, Fluttershy’s kindhearted demeanor and sincerity overwhelmed her protective mindset. “Y-Yes, it’s true, but…”
Pinkie Pie suddenly popped out of a vase behind Luna, her body uncompressing as it left its confines. Her eyes locked with Luna’s almost instantly. “That’s the meanest trick I’ve ever heard! You know how Princess Celestia feels about Twilight, and you embarrass both of them anyway just for a laugh. I mean, if you turned me into an itty-bitty teeny-weeny winkie-Pinkie, I wouldn’t want you to invite my sisters over and make me your little joke!”
“Uh, girls?” chimed Twilight.
“What sort of ruffian would do such a thing?” said Rarity. “Reducing your own flesh and blood to a mere foal. How do you sleep at night?”
Luna winced. “I have not slept for more than two hours these last two days…”
“Because you were too busy taking over Equestria!” shouted Spike. His confidence grew as he took a few steps towards the princess, still pointing an accusing claw. The princess could feel her control starting to slip, and that terrible power was calling to her, begging to be released. “I told Twilight she couldn’t trust you! And now, we’re going to…”
SCREW IT.
“I WAS NOT TAKING OVER EQUESTRIA, LIZARD.”
The force of Luna’s voice was enough to propel Spike into the other ponies, sending them toppling like bowling pins. The dragon’s impromptu flight stopped right next to Twilight with a resounding thud. The unicorn quickly dragged Spike back to his feet via telekinesis, and was preparing to help up the rest of her friends the same way, when Luna walked up to her. “I want an explanation.”
“I…I don’t know what’s going on,” stammered Twilight. “I just wrote Spike to take care of the library, and he…”
“Sister, don’t worry about it,” said Celestia. She wrapped one of her front legs around one of Luna’s front hooves and started slowly nuzzling. Even as a filly, she could tell when a situation was about to get very, very bad. “Twilight Sparkle, please explain to your friends they have nothing to fear. Luna…we need to get going. Now.”
Luna sighed. “Very well. Twilight Sparkle, I leave things in your hooves.”
----------
The first thing to strike Celestia was the cool breeze. Free from the stagnant prison that was the palace, she could finally take in fresh air for the first time in weeks. Even better, there were no outdoor meetings to discuss how Equestria was falling apart today, no schoolfoals wandering the hedge maze, and no urgent matters to attend to outside of Canterlot. For the first time in so long, the princess was actually free to enjoy the very gardens she had personally built centuries ago.
So naturally, her reaction was to run outside screaming before flopping on the cool grass. The princess rolled onto her back, unfolded her wings, and squirmed about like a lopsided worm. It was crass, it was simple, it was something totally unbecoming of both a princess and, for lack of a better word, a physical goddess.
And she loved every minute of it.
From her vantage point at the door, Luna watched as her once-older sister frolicked about the grounds, taking in every sight and smell like they were brand new. In any other situation, she would have taken at least some comfort in Celestia’s jubilance. At the very least, seeing the most important pony in the world to her being happy in her dire situation would give her a little bit of happiness. Not so.
They are the ones that freed me. They are the ones that saw the real me that day. And yet, the minute Celestia disappears, they all come to Canterlot just to lock me away again? Her thoughts inadvertently drifted back to Blueblood’s earlier threat. That waste of genetics really was right. If even those ponies hate me…
“Luna? Are you all right?”
Luna broke from her self-demotivation session at her sister’s words. Celestia was standing in front of the princess, her once-pristine white coat now covered with grass stains and splotches of dirt. The filly repeated her query. “Is something wrong, sister?”
“I-It is nothing,” said Luna. “I was just…thinking about the rest of the day. I…I really need to get going. There’s an awful lot to do today, and I have fallen way behind, so if you will excuse me…”
Luna wasn’t able to turn five inches before Celestia spoke again. “It’s about Twilight’s friends, isn’t it? I have no idea where Spike was getting his information, but I can assure you Twilight is going to get to the bottom of this.”
“It is not that,” said Luna. “If Twilight Sparkle’s assistant and friends could come to that conclusion, what can I expect from everypony else?”
Celestia paused for a few seconds, mulling over what exactly to say. “Luna…when you hold court, there’s a few things you need to know.”
Luna scoffed. “I have held court before, you know.”
“Not mine,” said Celestia. “This isn’t strictly business like yours. Here, anypony can come and voice their concerns about the land. And if you want everything to move smoothly, you have to watch yourself.”
“…Watch myself?”
“First, always smile.” Celestia’s mouth turned into a warm, friendly smile. “This will show the ponies how much you care for them and their problems.”
Luna was silent for several seconds, before finally giving a smile of her own. It wasn’t quite as motherly as Celestia’s, but it would do. “Great!” chirped the filly. “Next, make sure to listen to each pony’s problem, no matter how trivial it may seem to you. Remember, these are your subjects, and as princess it is your responsibility to listen to your ponies.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “I know that, sister. That is not the issue at hoof, however. How am I suppose to conduct business if everypony’s still afraid of me?”
Celestia sighed. “Luna…do you remember how scared ponies used to be of me, back in the old days? Well, it’s still true today.” Luna’s eyes widened at the thought, trying to picture anypony doing anything but praise and honor Celestia’s whims. “The bowing, the reverence, the insane lengths they go to please me; that’s not because they love me. It’s because they’re afraid that if their manners aren’t perfect I’ll send them all to the moon or something.”
“You mean…all this time, they were scared of you as well?”
Celestia nodded in affirmation. “It comes with being a princess. Things may be more relaxed than they used to be, and certainly a lot smoother on the larynx, but that doesn’t mean everypony has forgotten we’re in a position to affect the rest of their lives. Just…don’t think about how they’re afraid of you. What’s important is, they’ve overcome their fear enough to come to you with their problems, and you must respect that.”
“…Thank you for your advice, sister.” Even if it does me no good.
Luna gave Celestia a farewell pat on the head and walked back inside, the guards closing the door behind her. The filly princess turned her attention back to the massive gardens that lay before her. The ground was still wet from the gardeners; many of the pathways were still quite muddy, the grass was soaked, and the flowers glistened like they were covered in morning dew. Most of the animals were still locked away in the most secluded part of the grounds, just in case somepony got some wild ideas and released them again.
Celestia’s mind reeled as she took in this moment’s ramifications. For the first time in over a millennia, she had free time. And with Twilight taking the bulk of the research duties, she didn’t have a whole lot to worry about afterwards.
With a squeal of glee, the filly leaped into the air and bellyflopped back onto the grass. She had a lot to accomplish, and only a short amount of time to do it...
----------
“And that’s about it. Luna’s prank went wrong, and I’m helping her and Celestia fix things. Nothing more.”
Twilight had taken her friends to Celestia’s study, hopefully as far from Luna as possible at the moment. Spike was busy in the back, begrudgingly lighting a fire; his spines were still on edge from today’s earlier encounter. The others weren’t much better. Dash was ready to charge right back and take the princess on personally, Rarity looked more sassed than anything else, Pinkie was hopping mad, Applejack was sore at being lied to, and it took the unicorn almost twenty minutes to calm Fluttershy’s mama bear tendencies.
“Okay, let’s say you are telling the truth,” said Dash. “Why did you send Spike that letter, then?”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “What letter?”
“You know, the super-duper secret spy letter!” said Pinkie. “Has anypony told you how good you are at hiding things? I mean, I’m the number one pony at hide-and-seek, and even I couldn’t find your hidden message! Good thing Spike is a whiz at code breaking!”
Now Twilight was even more confused. “Code…breaking?”
Spike, now satisfied with the fire’s roaring, rejoined the group. “You know, the one you sent me last night. You obviously had to write it in code so Princess Luna wouldn’t catch you.” He pointed a thumb at Applejack, eliciting a groan from the farm pony. “Applejack here, she didn’t believe me. She thought you just wanted me to stay at the library while you helped Nightmare Moon rule Equestria! But now that we know the truth, we can grab the Elements and get to the banishing, right?!”
Twilight didn’t know how to respond. Her brain twisted in upon itself trying to find her dear baby dragon’s train of logic. She only stopped when the threat of an aneurysm became far too great. “Spiiiiiiiike,” she said in a low growl. “I did not want you leading my friends on some sort of crusade in Canterlot just so you could play hero.”
Spike was taken aback at Twilight’s words. The others were more than a little confused. “Th-Then, what did you want?” asked Spike.
“I wanted you to stay at the library while I helped PRINCESS LUNA find a cure for Celestia’s condition! In other words, WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO IN THE FIRST PLACE!” She groaned from her soon-to-be-former number one assistant’s crass stupidity. “I told you to stop reading those stupid spy books! They’re rotting your brain!”
Her attention turned from the guilt-ridden purple dragon to the rest of her friends. The ponies drew themselves back as Twilight’s frustrated rage continued to take hold. “And you. What were you thinking back there? You know Princess Celestia and I are perfectly fine, so why all the hostility?”
“A-Are you kidding?” said Dash. “Luna lied to us!”
“As did you, dear,” added Rarity. “Or do I need to remind you about Celestia ‘taking a vacation?’”
Twilight shied away from the fashionista’s (rather accurate) comments. “That was the lie the princesses and I agreed on. We didn’t really have much of a choice.”
“Yah could have told us ta truth, sugahcube!” shouted Applejack. “Don’t ya see how worried we all were? You had us scared stiff.”
“About what?!”
“Um, about the princess, duh!” said Pinkie.
Twilight let out a deep, mournful sigh. “You don’t understand. How do you think everypony would have reacted when they found out the truth? In case you haven’t noticed, Princess Luna isn’t exactly the most popular pony out there right now. If anypony even thought she had meant to hurt Celestia…”
“But she’s a nasty-wasty!” shouted Pinkie. “Anypony that would do something like that to their own sister deserves to be tarred, feathered, and driven out of Equestria! Dethroning her sister, using the Arcanus E Draconus, and lying to everypony? She’s the worst pony ever!”
“NO SHE ISN’T, PINKIE!”
The entire room went silent, save for Twilight’s echoing voice. The unicorn coughed and cleared her throat before continuing. “What Luna did was wrong. I’m not arguing with that. But having you guys stand here and accuse her of being a monster isn’t helping. She’s committed to fulfilling both her own and Celestia’s obligations, not because she wants to rule Equestria by herself, but because she made a mistake and wants to make up for it. And it would be great if you gave her some support.”
The five ponies (plus dragon) looked about each other, trying to come up with a silent consensus. Twilight watched the group with a gnawing sense of dread, as well as a growing disappointment in her assistant’s behavior. Finally, the group dispersed. “Are…Are you sure Luna is all right?” asked Spike.
“She’s a good pony, Spike,” said Twilight. “Just give her some time, and I’m sure she’ll prove that to you and everypony.”
“…Well, we did have an appointment already,” said Rarity. “We…certainly do owe the princess an apology.”
“Ah feel like a molded-up hay seed,” muttered Applejack. Her declaration was summarily followed by a chorus of nods, shrugs, and agreements. Even Pinkie Pie, who had by now exceeded Spike in the hostility department, was looking rather ashamed.
Twilight sighed in relief. “Thank you. It means a lot to me, and I’m sure Princess Celestia feels the same way.”
----------
Luna strode back into the throne room, already pushing the memory of Twilight’s friends’ reactions out of her mind. Ruby was already seated next to the throne, reviewing the list of visitors for today’s court session. The attendant tore her head up from her duties at her regent’s approach. “Is everything all right, Your Highness?”
Luna froze about ten feet from her seat, willing herself to put on that loving, friendly face Celestia had worn for so long. “Everything is just fine, Miss Dream. I just…lost track of time dealing with my sister.”
She resumed her walk up the steps, seating herself upon the most powerful spot in Equestria. “Very well, court will begin shortly. How does Celestia do this again?”
Ruby shrugged. “Everypony is herded into a waiting area just outside the doors. I announce their name, and they come in. You listen to their concerns, and they leave.”
“And…who do we have today?”
“Well, there’s been a lot of issues around Equestria recently, so there is a pretty long list of unannounced visitors today. As for the announced ones, a few farmers from just outside of Canterlot need to speak to you about the city’s water conservation efforts, the Astronomy Guild wants to discuss some issues with last night’s night sky, and we have representatives from Sweet Apple Acres and the Carousel Boutique requesting a tax extension. And then there’s the…”
As her assistant went over the day’s notes, Luna’s mind was already piecing things together. This does not sound too difficult. A few simple declarations, a few judgments here and there, and the day is done. I shall be back to work in no time. I just have to handle this like Celestia, make sure everypony is comfortable, and I might even walk out of here with everypony loving me.
“…And that’s just about everypony we have so far.”
Luna snapped out of her thoughts and quickly turned her attention back to Ruby. “Thank you very much, Miss Dream. Now, can you please assume your position? I would like to get this over with as quickly as possible.” Ruby bowed in acknowledgment and walked out the door. From the throne, Luna could see her take a position to the side of the doorway and start unfurling a scroll before the doors closed.
Luna gave the best smile she could at a time like this. Think positive, Luna. You can do this. You can show these ponies there is nothing to worry about.
----------
Celestia hugged the bush, her eyes locked on her target. The guard was a relatively recent addition to the palace’s security detail, his coat’s original color still peeking out from beneath the white dye the guards used to maintain their identical appearances. His attention was turned away from the princess, instead focusing on a nearby door in the palace walls leading to the city’s sewer system. The palace’s age made updating the entire structure rather difficult, and more than once an industrious thief, burglar, enemy invader, spy, filly scout troop, and paparazzi had tried to sneak inside using the old tunnels.
Fortunately, only a few ponies still knew of the passageway, and fewer still were dumb enough to try and arouse their princess’ wrath. Because of this, the post was used as a training ground for new recruits, something to cut their teeth on before moving onto the more pressing areas of the palace.
Today, however, Celestia had a different reason to be out here. It was almost lunchtime, and she wanted something sweet. Her target was inside a pouch hanging around the guard’s neck, the sweet aroma striking her nose from even back here. She slowly snuck closer and closer to the clueless pegasus, her light hooves barely making any noise on the soft grass. Finally, when she was but a few feet behind him, she tapped him on the left rear ankle.
The pegasus snapped out of his dozing and spun about, wings extended and ready for a beatdown. Instead, he found himself staring at a cute, white-coated, rainbow-haired filly. The guard couldn’t help but grunt in surprise. “Pr-Princess Celestia?”
Celestia quickly flashed a friendly smile. It was the same kind that frequently accompanied a knife in the back. “Hello, good sir. I was wishing to inquire about the contents of your bag.”
“This old thing?” he said. “It’s just some cookies. My wife baked some for me this morning.” He shifted his eyes to and fro, as if some unseen and horrible force was about to jump him for admitting such a thing. “I…I apologize if it’s not allowed.”
Celestia continued smiling. His resolve is weakening. Time to go in for the kill. “I see. Well, do you suppose you could share one or two with little ol’ me?” She fluttered her eyes and twisted her mouth into a cute little pout, amplifying her sheer adorability into a WMD.
The poor pegasus could feel his will faltering. “B-But princess, these cookies…”
Crocodile tears formed in both of Celestia’s eyelids. “Wh-Wh-What are you saying? Are your cookies *sniff* so special you can’t share them with your princess?”
“No, I didn’t-”
“You’re a mean pony,” Celestia whined. “I’m gonna tell Luna on you!” The princess threw herself onto the ground, throwing the best hissy fit she could muster. She pounded the earth with her front hooves, bucked and kicked with her back, and wailed and screamed.
The guard’s very sense of being crumbled to dust at the sight before him, and he quickly tossed the bag at Celestia’s hooves. “Here, your Majesty. Take as many as you want! Just…please, stop crying!”
Celestia continued sniveling, if only to keep up the ruse, and flipped the bag open. Sure enough, inside were several round, chocolate-chip cookies, all individually wrapped in tissue paper and neatly stacked to avoid crumbling. The sun princess leaned in, grabbed two cookies with her mouth, and quickly ran off. The guard just stared, flabbergasted at what had occurred.
----------
A group of five ponies unhurriedly walked into the throne room. The three Earth ponies and two unicorns had their heads hung low, peeking up only to confirm that the alicorn sitting on the throne was, in fact, not Celestia. Luna kept up her royal appearance, wearing that same queenly mask and flashy grin her sister always carried in public. Ruby was still stationed outside, keeping things perfectly organized. This left only Luna, the guards, and her subjects in the room.
The five ponies stopped and bowed, following the same traditions as during Celestia’s reign. Luna acknowledged the five’s reverence with a quick nod. “Please, stand and introduce yourselves.”
The small group quickly rose, their eyes still locked on the floor. Finally, one of the Earth ponies spoke. “Your Majesty, we…really don’t want to inconvenience you…”
“We run some of the farms a few miles out of Canterlot,” said another Earth pony. “Most of our produce is sold in the capital’s marketplace.”
Luna nodded. “Very well. And I understand you have some concerns about the city’s water conservation efforts.”
One of the Earth ponies took a step forward. His entire body was shaking with a growing sense of doom. “Um…yes, princess. We understand there’s been water shortages, but our farms depend on the runoff from the mountains, and the city is swallowing most of it.”
Luna hummed to herself, shifting an appropriate response. “I see. Well, we are scheduled for some rainfall today. I’ll speak with the weather teams and see what we can do. Unfortunately, there is not much I can do right now, not until I have a full idea of the city’s current water supply.” The five ponies nodded in semi-approval, their problem still unsolved. Luna tilted her head slightly and widened her smile, trying to match her sister’s sense of charm and grace. The look of horror on the ponies’ faces was evidence enough that it wasn’t working. “Do not worry. I’m certain a solution can be found quickly. In the meantime, I just ask that you be patient. Now, is there anything else I can help you with?”
The five looked amongst themselves nervously. All five were terrified to say what was really on their minds. Luna was ready to dismiss them when one of the unicorn farmers stepped forward. “Y-Your Majesty, I have a question.”
“Of course, good sir. How can I help you?”
“Well…we were wondering about the schedule for the next few days.”
“You mean the weather? After tonight’s storm, it should be clear for the next few days.”
The other unicorn spoke next. “Wh-What my friend means is, what are the daylight hours tomorrow?”
Luna raised an eyebrow. She could see where this conversation was going, and she really didn’t like it. “Daylight hours?”
“You know…how long do we have to harvest before the sun vanishes forever?” asked one of the Earth ponies.
“The more food we have, the better chance we can survive the eternal winter,” said another.
“I can’t let my coconuts freeze out there!” said one of the unicorns. The others just…kind of looked at him, their brains unable to comprehend the imagery he just suggested. The unicorn, for his part, just shrugged at their confusion. “What? Do you have any idea how hard it is to grow coconuts in this climate?”
Luna kept up that smile as best she could, even as she wanted to scream out inside. “If you think I am going to just…rip the sun out of the sky or something of the sort, I can assure you that you are mistaken. I am serving in my sister’s stead, and I promise I will keep each day’s sunrise and sunset to the posted schedules. Now, is there any other business?”
The five workhorses dared not bring anything else up. They instead chose the safer, saner route; they bowed to Princess Luna, turned about on their hooves, and trotted out of the room single file. The very moment the door closed behind them, Luna dropped her guard. She slumped her shoulders, gritting her teeth as the meeting ran through her mind.
Okay, so far all the ponies I have seen think I am either incapable of comprehending Equestrian law, or I am an evil monster bent on taking away their sun. Still…the day is young, and I have a lot more ponies to meet. Things will get better.
----------
It didn’t take Celestia long to find her second stop.
Nestled deep in the gardens, far away from the rest of the royal menagerie, sat the royal aviary. Beneath the glass and steel sat some of the rarest trees and plants known to Equestria, relics from the planet’s tumultuous past. And even deeper inside sat one of the most majestic creatures to ever grace Equestria.
Celestia nodded to the guards at the aviary’s entrance, cookies still wedged firmly in her mouth. The two pegasi quickly pushed the door open, waiting until their miniaturized monarch was well inside before closing the door and exchanging perplexed glances.
Celestia saw her target almost immediately. Sitting on a lush, green-foliated tree in the cage’s center, was the princess’ pet bird, Philomena. The phoenix’s feathers still glistened and glowed like a raging fire in the sunlight, and even from her low vantage point the princess couldn’t help but be stunned by the sheer beauty of it all.
The fire bird paid no heed to the visitor, instead spending its time preening its left wing. Celestia carefully set the cookies on the ground and raised her head towards the treetop. “Philomena! Come down here for a second, please.”
The phoenix’s head perked up at the sound of her name. Her gaze drifted downwards until she saw the filly staring up at her. Curious, the bird spread its wings and glided downward, landing on a low branch just in front of the foal’s face. Its beady eyes looked the pony over, finding something strangely familiar about the apparent stranger.
Celestia giggled at her pet’s indecisiveness. “Don’t worry, Philomena. It’s me, just a little on the small side.”
Philomena cooed and cawed in response, the bird’s brain trying to figure out the whole spectacle. Celestia just kept on smiling before reaching for the cookies. “I know I haven’t been able to visit you as often as I used to these past few months. Things have just been so busy lately that…half the time I can’t even get out of the office before midnight. But look! I brought us some cookies!”
The phoenix turned its attention to the two lumps of bread and chocolate chips. She gave them a quick sniff before cawing in excitement and flying down, grabbing one of the cookies between one of her talons. With a caw of triumph, she began to dig into the treat, pecking off a piece at a time before swallowing it whole. Celestia had no idea how Philomena’s digestive system worked, but she had seen her swallow entire three-course meals when hungry enough, and the bird could certainly handle something like chocolate.
Smiling, the princess held her cookie between her hooves and started digging in. “This is good,” she said between mouthfuls. “Next time I see that guard, I have to get his wife’s recipe. I should probably also throw in a few more bits into his next paycheck.”
----------
Luna’s next guest was a green-coated, orange-haired unicorn mare. She carried herself with a demeanor not unlike that of a queen demeaning herself by hanging around the peasantry; an attitude that most top members of the Astronomy Guild shared, unfortunately. Behind her were a large tripod and several sheets of paper, levitating in an energy field.
Luna kept up the fake smile, a new hope burning its way through her very being. The astronomers were among the few ponies that actually cared for her nights, even if they never actually enjoyed them beyond a very professional level. Indeed, they were among the few ponies that had gladly taken Luna back. Her expression was forced, but inside she was cheering for the first good meeting of the day.
The mare stopped and bowed, her equipment still hovering behind her. She quickly stood before Luna could even mouth a word; instead, she unfolded the tripod and set the whole mess neatly down. Once that was done, the mare finally returned her attention to the confused princess. “Um…please introduce yourself,” said Luna.
The astronomer cleared her throat. “Your Highness, my name is Starsign, and I am here today to discuss a matter of grave importance to the Equestria Astronomy Guild.”
Luna nodded. “Very well.”
The mare levitated up the first page of the presentation, showing several very familiar constellations. “As you know, the Equestria Astronomy Guild has devoted its entire existence to the study of the heavens you and your illustrious sister provide us every night.” Luna couldn’t help but blush a little, even beneath her dark coat. “To do this, we have set up observatories across every corner of the country, recording the very motions of the sun, the moon, and the stars.”
“I am pleased that you appreciate my work,” said Luna. “But I already know all this. What is it you wanted to address?”
The astronomer floated the page up, revealing an enlarged photograph of a night sky. At the very center sat Canis Major, one of Luna’s favorite constellations. “This picture was taken from our Hoofington observatory. Do you notice the problem?”
Luna stepped down from the throne and walked to the photo. A quick scan quickly confirmed her fears. “The topmost star…is too far to the left.” I was so tired last night, I forgot to double-check my work!
“Exactly. And that throws the entire constellation’s structure off as well. I’m afraid the guild has to make a formal complaint about your sister’s handling of the night sky.”
Luna turned to the mare, eyebrows raised. “My sister?”
“Well, this is her work, is it not? I swear, the millennia before your return were tumultuous indeed. Her Highness is a fine ruler and can manage the sun and moon well enough, but she never could get a hang of the stars.”
Luna raised a hoof. “Excuse me, but…why do you think my sister is responsible?”
The mare turned the page, revealing a heavily-distorted Lupus Minor. “This is a copy of one of our records, from roughly one thousand years ago. By all accounts, Princess Celestia mangled every single star’s placement, but this constellation here was considered the worst.”
Another page turn, and the two were looking at a giant happy face made of stars. “This was supposed to be Orion, until her Highness managed to somehow turn it into a caricature of our very science. She claimed to be pointing it at the moon, but I find that highly doubtful.” Luna couldn’t help but genuinely grin at the sight, not to mention feel a bit warmer inside.
“And this was the biggest affront of all.” Starsign turned to the last page. Luna held back a laugh as she looked at the image. Her sister had moved the stars out of position, wrecking every constellation Luna had designed, so she could spell KEYSORE SUCKS. “This occurred after the princess had a falling out with Keysore, one of the founders of the modern astronomy guild. Fortunately, he was ill and couldn’t see the stars that night, or things would have been much worse.”
“This has all been very…illuminating,” said Luna. “If I am understanding you correctly, because one star was out of place last night, Celestia is to blame.”
Starsign nodded. “Yes, I’m afraid so. The lady outside, Ruby, told me she is on vacation, so I wish to bring this to your attention. As required by the agreement Princess Celestia signed approximately 517 years ago, we astronomers must report any and all deviations from the norm to prevent any future errors. We cannot allow such novice mistakes to besmirch our pristine heavens. Our night skies must be the very picture of perfection.”
Luna cleared her throat. The next sentence was going to be painful. “Starsign…I did last night’s sky.” Starsign’s eyes suddenly dilated into dots. “I was not at my best last night, and I do apologize for making a small mistake, but I fail to see how this meeting was beneficial in the slightest.”
“W-W-Well,” the mare stammered. She was really not prepared for this. “You see, the heavens are just so beautiful, we hate to see them besmirched in such a way. And after Celestia turned them into her plaything for a thousand years…”
“You have nothing to worry about,” Luna sighed.
“And…with the eternal night coming up, we want everything to make a good impression.”
Luna felt her right eye and both ears begin twitching. For the third time today, somepony had casually brought up the darkest period of her life, expecting her to be the exact same pony. It was all she could do to keep from repeating the Blueblood incident with Starsign right now. For now, she just limited it to some gritted teeth. “Miss Starsign, I can assure you, I will not make the night last forever anytime soon. As long as ponies are enjoying the sunshine, I will keep Celestia’s sun in its proper place. I thank you for your criticism, but I am fully capable of fulfilling my own responsibilities. Now, do you have any more pressing business?”
Starsign quickly shook her head, magicked the pieces of her presentation back into the air, and darted out of the room. Luna slowly returned to her throne, more defeated than ever. Alright…two of my appointments went bad. The next one has to be it! This is going to be the best moment of my day!
The princess closed her eyes, relaxing her mind for her next guests. She could already hear a small cacophony of hooves trot into the room, no doubt belonging to some of the best subjects the princess had. According to Ruby, these are representatives from Sweet Apple Acres and Carousel Boutique. They sound so…professional. I am certain nothing can go wrong with this audience.
Filled with renewed confidence, Luna opened her eyes…and saw the same five ponies that had accosted her in the hallway, as well as that contemptible baby dragon.
----------
Celestia had been out in the garden for hours, and was finally beginning to feel exhausted. Philomena had retreated back to her perch after finishing her cookie, leaving Celestia to wander out of the aviary and back to the garden proper. By now, her once-luxurious coat was covered with grass stains, mud, dirt, bread crumbs, and some rather unsettling assorted messes. Her mane and tail were frizzled and scruffy from all her running about, as were her guards’ patience. She had to wrap this up, before one of them finally grew some nerve and sent the filly back to her room “for her own protection.”
There was just one more thing she had to do.
Behind the palace, outside the royal hedge maze, sat a recently-replaced statue. Discord, the embodiment of the chaos that had once ruled Equestria, was once again on display, a birdbath held between his outstretched arms. The filly felt a knot of fear return as she saw him, accompanied by long-repressed memories of his mad reign. Her small size wasn’t helping things at the moment, either; at this angle, he looked even more like the monster he was.
After a few moments of shuddering, Celestia’s nerves calmed enough to talk. “Hello, Discord. Are you enjoying the view? I made sure they put you in the exact same spot as before.”
There was obviously no response. Celestia smirked and began circling the statue, giving it the longest, hardest stare she had ever given anything. “I just wanted to see how you were doing this fine day. This fine, peaceful, chaos-free day. I can assure you, it will not be the last for a long, long time.”
The princess parked herself at the statue’s front. She leaned into a sitting position, turning her head upwards until she was eye-to-eye with the monster. “I lied, Discord. I didn’t want to just rub your defeat in your face. I just wanted to let you know how wrong you were. Do you remember that time you burned Roam to the ground, just as we were getting things running again? You told me I would never know what fun was, that I’d be a grumpy old mare forever while Luna got to enjoy herself.”
Celestia hopped back on to her hooves, filled with renewed purpose. “I almost believed you. I take Equestria’s well-being very seriously. And that’s why you had to go, why the Elements of Harmony defeated you not once, but twice. But today was the first real time I’ve had in centuries to enjoy myself. And with Luna running Equestria, I have all the time in the world to do it. I can attend parties without a mayor pulling me away to discuss corn production, I can wander the gardens without worrying about a thousand other commitments in the next hour, and best of all, I can actually have fun without everypony trying to lecture me about my indecorum.”
“In other words,” said finished, “Celestia rules, Discord drools! Oh, and…” She clasped her tongue between her teeth and blew a raspberry at the statue. Her thirst for revenge sated, the princess started towards the garden doors, pausing only to stomp in one last mud puddle.
----------
The throne room was completely silent, the two sides engaging in an informal staring contest. Luna’s queenly mask had deteriorated almost completely, leaving her to stare coldly at the ponies before her. The ponies and dragon simply stared back, afraid to break eye contact lest their next breaths contain a healthy dose of moon dust. Even the guards could sense the terrible events that were about to occur.
Finally, Luna spoke. “Guards. Leave the room. Now.”
The two guards immediately turned to their monarch. Their faces were trembling with fear and confusion. “B-But we must not leave this post! Our orders are-”
“I am a very old, very powerful mare, gentlecolts,” said Luna. “And a princess does not reach this position without learning how to protect oneself. Now, I wish to speak with these ponies alone. If I find that any of you were within ten feet of this door, I will personally oversee your termination from the palace staff. UNDERSTAND?!” The guards quickly gave a whimpering nod and bolted out of the room. The minute the door slammed shut, Luna’s mental focus returned to the ponies in attendance. “As for you, you have some nerve showing your faces here after what you did.”
“Your Highness, we are so sorry about that,” whispered Fluttershy. “We wanted to apologize for what we said.”
“Twilight explained the whole situation,” said Rarity. “And while we are still upset that you lied to us, we can understand why.”
“Oh, can you?” sneered Luna. “Do you know what I have had to endure these last few hours?” The ponies took a few steps away from the princess. “Is it too much for ponies to just accept that their great and powerful Celestia might, just might, want to take a vacation once in her lifetime? Oh no no no, the first thing they think is ‘Princess Luna did something to her! Well, we had better enjoy these last few hours of sunlight before Nighmare Moon comes roaring right back!’”
The five non-goddess ponies glanced at Spike. The dragon was somewhere been terrified and genuinely guilty. “Y-Your Highness, I…We didn’t…”
Luna angrily trotted off the throne and started pacing about the throne room, growing darker and more frustrated by the second. “And that is not the most deplorable part of it! Just this morning the ERS, the same branch of government I founded, thought they had to lecture me like some schoolfoal on some tax law! I can read and interpret Equestria’s laws just as well as Celestia, thank you very much!”
“Wait, you founded the ERS?!” shouted Dash. Applejack immediately clamped her mouth around the pegasus’ tail, just as a precaution.
“And then the farmers! I try to handle the situation just like my sister, and what do they do? They ask me how many hours they have left before I push the sun out of orbit! Do they really think I have no knowledge of how plants grow?”
Once she was sure Rainbow wasn’t going to make things worse by actually assaulting the angry moon princess, Applejack spat her friend’s tail out of her mouth, coughing a little from the taste of hair in her mouth. “Your Highness…Princess Luna, we didn’t mean ta say ya didn’t…”
“And those…astronomers!” She hissed the title like it was some kind of curse. “They send their ponies over here to waste my time by badmouthing Celestia’s work on Equestria’s night. Do they have any idea how hard that job is? You have to get the stars just right, match their positions to the moon’s orbit, make sure the moon is in the right phase, and keep it locked in the right trajectory so it does not veer off course and smash into the planet itself! And because I get one little star wrong, they feel they have the right to march in here and tell me how to best fulfill my royal duties?!”
“Um…excuse me, Your Highness?” said Rarity. “As a fellow designer, I can assure you I know-”
Luna’s rage was quickly reaching critical. She gritted her teeth and turned back to the ponies. “And yooou! You didn’t even wait for an explanation before you came rushing in here! And do you really think so low of me that I would willingly trap Celestia like that?”
“Wait a second!” said Pinkie. “You said you did it yourself!”
“It was a joke!” said Luna. She was exasperated from having to state the same fact a million times over two days. “And I only did it because she started pranking me first! I never meant any harm. I never wanted to dispose her, even temporarily. And if I had a choice, I would never set a foot on that throne again! How Celestia suffers these fools, I will never know!”
The princess turned her back to the other ponies, focusing her eyes on the overtly fancy chair at the other end. “I tried to make things comfortable, tried to be like Celestia. I only want my temporary rule over the daylight hours to go as smoothly as possible. But…everypony is so worked up over Celestia’s disappearance. We all knew this was going to happen, but…”
Silence fell over the throne room. There was not much else that could be said. She had already said far too much. Luna just sat there, eyes closed, waiting for the five to leave so she could finish her venting in private. Any second now, that door will open, and the ponies will go. No doubt they will take Twilight with them and tell everypony the truth. My life in Equestria is over…
Her self-pity session came to a sharp, pointy halt as a sharp, pointy claw tapped her back. Luna’s head twirled about at whiplash speeds, causing Spike to hop back in alarm. “Dude…did you teach owls to do that?”
“As a matter of fact, no,” said the princess. Her voice was starting to crack from the sheer pressure of it all. “In any case, why are you still here?”
Spike nervously fidgeted with his tail, avoiding eye contact with the princess. He looked back at his circle of friends, all of whom were sharing the same look. “Princess Luna…it’s my fault. I read too much into Twilight’s letter, and…I kinda told everypony you were evil.”
“You…what?”
“I don’t know why I thought that was the case. Twilight told me how the Elements of Harmony saved you and everything while I was asleep that night. But…I’ve never heard of Celestia leaving her post here, even for a day. She’s a serious workaholic, even by Twilight standards. I was afraid something had happened to her, and…I blamed you.”
“You were not far off,” sighed Luna. She rose back to her hooves, turning to fully face the ponies. “Very well. I will accept the dragon’s explanation, and will forgive you for your transgression. I just ask that you promise not to mention what happened to Celestia to anyone. I fear they will accept my rule even less if they knew the truth.”
“You know what that means, girls?” said Pinkie. Everypony nodded and raised a hoof/claw.
“CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO FLY, STICK A CUPCAKE IN MY EYE!”
Luna stared at the sight of the ponies and dragon making the most bizarre swear she had seen since the days of the nomadic herds. When they poked themselves in the eyeball, she finally burst out laughing. The others quickly joined in, and for a few moments, something good had come out of the day’s mess.
----------
Frosty Gaze’s thesis was the big break Twilight was looking for.
For all her teacher’s coldness and cruelty, his research was impeccable. He had transcribed entire pages from Kuchen’s works, including graphs and charts chronicling the relation between the different types of spells at work in his enchantments. There was even a section on desserts, for some reason. It was fascinating. It was breathtaking.
It was also making her head hurt.
The diagrams opened up whole worlds of magic she had never dreamed of before. Kuchen, for all his evil insanity, had a genius almost equal with Star Swirl the Bearded. The way his spells all interacted with each other was more like a series of building blocks, each reinforcing the other for a stronger whole. Sadly, this made it all the more difficult to think of a counterspell; as the long-dead unicorn’s one remaining book had said, attempting to remove the spells in an incorrect or improper manner could cause a serious backlash. I need something stronger, something that will wipe out the whole thing in one shot.
That was when she hit the killer paragraph:
It is also intriguing how Kuchen the Mad’s entire spell body resembles those found in old pony tales, in particular those of the so-called “Mare in the Moon.” While there’s nothing to link Kuchen to cannibalism like in the old legend, his magic made use of illusions, curses, and offensive spells, all designed to cause harm to other ponies. This stands in stark contrast to the traditional theories of magic, most notably those of the legendary “Elements of Harmony” and their effect on modern magic. Were these elements real, it is highly doubtful Kuchen could have succeeded in his dark pursuit of power as he did.
“That’s it!” said Twilight. “Kuchen was using the same kind of magic as Nightmare Moon! That means we might be able to save Princess Celestia the same way we saved Princess Luna! Oh thank you, you mean old stallion! You may have saved us all from the horrors of the Arcanus E Draco-”
“Anypony that would do something like that to their own sister deserves to be tarred, feathered, and driven out of Equestria! Dethroning her sister, using the Arcanus E Draconus, and lying to everypony? She’s the worst pony ever!”
A terrible thought suddenly entered Twilight’s mind. I never mentioned the Arcanus E Draconus to Pinkie, and I doubt Luna would have told them that much. She’s not a unicorn, she’s never studied magic, and I know something like this wouldn’t interest her.
Then...how does she know where the spell came from?
TO BE CONTINUED…
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Seven
Luna had lived for thousands of years. Over that time, she had been everything from a little filly to a goddess, a princess, an evil overlord, and finally a princess again. She had enjoyed countless triumphs and suffered numerous hardships, but there were three days in particular she could regard as her worst.
The first was the day Discord almost killed her older sister.
The second was the night she gave in to her jealousy and became Nightmare Moon.
And the third was today.
After Twilight’s friends had finished their audience, she was certain she could easily handle the rest of her subjects and their requests. Unfortunately, she soon learned the first few appointments were the gentle ones. Pony after pony marched into the throne room and demanded that Celestia be released from the sun, or the moon, or wherever else she had shoved her. After all, why else would Celestia, that most wonderful and perfect of ponies, ever leave her post?
The breaking point was after once such meeting with the Orange family from Manehatten. Once the couple had left the chamber, Luna leaned over to one of the guards and whispered, “At least they didn’t bring any pitchforks.”
It’s often said that humor was the first thing a member of the Royal Guard lost. What was less discussed was what went after that: tact. “The guards at the front gate have already confiscated seventy pitchforks, thirty-seven torches, twenty knives, and three apple pies.”
Luna fell totally silent. She had meant it as a joke, something to alleviate the mood a little. Not only had her guards taken her seriously, they had confirmed that some ponies were indeed dumb enough to try and kill a goddess. When the next pony entered the room, Luna didn’t even bother to raise her head anymore. She ran the rest of the day’s court with her eyes closed, mechanically listening and responding to a chorus of ponies all demanding the same thing: to know when Celestia would be back.
----------
By the time Luna left the throne room, she was looking almost every bit as old as she actually was. Hearing her ruler and employer open the doors, Ruby finished her quick conversation with one of the guards and trotted up to her monarch’s side. “Your Highness, I need to step out for a few minutes.”
“What is it?”
“It’s…a personal matter, Your Highness.”
In other words, you don’t want to be around me when I’m in a bad mood. Considering what she saw earlier today, I can’t blame her. “Very well. I won’t need you for the next short while. But do not take too long; we have a lot of work to catch up on today.”
“Understood, Your Majesty,” said Ruby. She turned on her hooves and started cantering out of the palace, breaking into a full gallop once outside the building itself. Luna shook her head at the sight and turned her attention back to her other problem: Celestia.
----------
Luna could make out her once-bigger, now littler sister before she even reached the garden doors. Celestia’s small, spunky form was recognizable from any angle, at any size. The mud-covered filly in front of her was a new sight, however. I suppose one of Canterlot’s many foals snuck into the palace. Oh well, just a quick lecture, and they ca- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH?!”
The night princess’ jaw went slack at the sight of her sister. Celestia was covered from head to hoof in mud and dirt, along with a few more pungent substances. Her mane and tail were both tangled in branches and bird feathers, and had lost much of their wavy consistency. Realizing how terrifying she must look, Celestia flashed her sister a grin, revealing a set of cookie-stained teeth. Luna could barely mouth a response. “Wh-Wh-What happened to you?”
“I…had fun?” Celestia said incredulously. “That was the plan, wasn’t it?”
“I said you could play in the garden!” snapped Luna. “I never told you to splatter yourself in filth! Honestly sister, did you just turn off that sensible part of your brain today?”
Celestia gritted her dirty teeth. “For your information, I did have fun. In fact, I had more fun today than I’ve had in the last century! I’m sorry if my idea of enjoying myself isn’t as pomp and pristine as yours, but you have to get with the times already! This is what foals do all over Equestria nowadays. Have you even been reading all those reference books I give you?”
In truth, Luna had been reading said books. Unfortunately, she had never taken the time to put them into practice. In fact, the few times she did appear in public since her return, she had either devolved into a quivering mess of stage fright, or reverted to her old way of speaking as a sort of security blanket. Right now, though, was not one of the best times to push her buttons. “I am not going to take advice from a mud-soaked filly.”
Before Celestia could give a retort, she found herself being telekinetically hoisted onto Luna’s back. The aura of Luna’s magic refused to vanish, pinning her to the alicorn’s back. Luna whistled, and two mares in maid uniforms dashed to the princess in response. “Ladies, I want you to prepare a bath for our darling Princess Celestia.”
----------
Luna’s stomps could be heard throughout the palace. Each step she took left a small crack where her hoof had struck, leaving the royal masons and carpenters sobbing at their misfortune. Celestia was still flung across her back, held down by Luna’s magic. Her sister’s mess was no doubt jumping from one coat to another, but at least it wasn’t getting on the ground again.
By the time they reached the bath, Celestia was squirming and struggling against her sister’s telekinetic hold. The glistening marble tub was already filled with steaming hot water, while a pair of attendants was ready for their child-like regent’s cleansing. The sight of the tub was bad enough; having other ponies in the room was more than Celestia could handle. “Listen, Luna, I can take care of myself!”
“Just like you took care of yourself outside?” said Luna. She started levitating the filly off her back, floating her over the tub. “You had your fun, now you have to pay for it.”
Celestia looked down at the mass of water beneath her. At this size, it might as well have been a pond, another reminder of her tiny frame compared to an adult alicorn’s. She looked pleadingly at her older sister, putting on her best sad expression and quivering her lips a little. “Pweeeeeease?!”
Luna tapped her chin, not daring to take her eyes off the filly lest she break free. Celestia’s heart burned with renewed hope, until she saw Luna’s deadpan face. “Neigh.”
The aura around Celestia vanished, and gravity finished its work. Celestia tumbled into the water with a resounding splash. The instant she submerged, several layers of dirt and muck peeled off and spread across the water’s surface. One of the attendants immediately went at it with a net, pulling out the loose branches, leaves, and as much muck as she could. When Celestia reemerged, still soaking but otherwise fine, the other leaped forward and began applying shampoo. The filly struggled and groaned against the two, desperately pushing away in the vain hope of getting Luna to relent.
“Now remember, I want her coat and mane glistening,” Luna laughed. “The guards outside will escort the princess back to her chambers once you’re finished.”
“Understood, your Highness!” the ponies said in perfect unison.
Seeing her sister turn to leave, coupled with the sheer agony and humiliation of having other ponies help clean her, set Celestia off yet again. Her thrashing intensified to a fever pitch, her tiny hooves splashing wave after wave of soapy water out of the tub and onto the tile floor. “Wait! I can clean myself! I don’t need anypony to do this! I can-”
Luna didn’t turn around. She couldn’t risk letting Celestia see just how much she was grinning. “You’re just a little pony right now, and little ponies need big ponies to take care of them. When you get a little older, I’m sure you’ll be able to do this on your own, but until then just be a good little filly and get cleaned up.”
With her vengeance complete for the moment, the princess resumed walking towards the door, ignoring Celestia’s growing screams. “NO! Don’t leave me here! I’ll…AAGH! Not in the eyes!”
----------
The guards quickly arched back to attention as Luna exited the royal washroom. Celestia’s calls and groans for help echoed through the hall, even after Luna willed the door closed. The two pegasi turned their attention towards their other princess, a look of confusion etched across both ponies. “Gentlecolts, I want you to escort Princess Celestia to her room once she’s finished her bath. Once there, you are to make sure she doesn’t leave her chambers for any reason. Understand?”
“Understood, your Highness,” the guards said in perfect unison. Even their head nods were in sync with each other.
Satisfied that her orders would be followed, the princess started trotting away, wanting to place as much distance between herself and her no doubt angry, vengeful sister. Her attention was returning to the rest of her day. Court had been a disaster, sure, but she knew that was to be expected all along. Even if she hadn’t tried to bring about eternal night twice over, the fact remained that with Celestia gone, everypony was in a blind panic. Nopony was going to give her a fair shot.
Well, if I can’t impress them in person, I’ll do it through action! If I can get all of Celestia’s little projects done, I’m sure I’ll be able to win our subjects over!
“Your Highness!”
Luna’s attention immediately shifted to the new voice behind her. Twilight Sparkle cantered towards the princess, stopping only when she was right in front of the alicorn. Every tiny little bit of her body was brimming with newfound confidence and glee, something even Luna could sense. “Princess Luna, I think I figured it out!”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Figured what out?”
“How Kuchen’s spell worked!” gasped Twilight.
Luna took pause for a minute, searching her brain for any idea of who this “Kuchen” was. When she finally stumbled upon the answer, she couldn’t help but visibly gasp. “You mean, you’ve been researching the Unicorn himself? I do not think this is a wise course of action, Twilight Sparkle. Some secrets are lost for a reason.”
“But it’s the only way to find a counterspell. The magic he used was lost five hundred years before his time.”
“Lost five hundred years before then…and it’s five hundred years later…” As the fancy mathematics clicked along her mental abacus, Luna began to break into a cold sweat. “You mean…he used my magic?”
Twilight shook her head. “No, not yours…technically. According to Professor Gaze’s thesis on illegal magic, Kuchen managed to tap into the same dark powers you used as Nightmare Moon.” The Unicorn nervously scratched her head with one hoof as she pondered what she had just said. “Um…sorry to bring that up.”
“You wouldn’t be the first today. Please, continue.”
Twilight’s anxiety calmed enough for her to stop scratching about and get back on topic. “If the magic is the same, we should be able to remove it in the same way: with the Elements of Harmony.”
“You mean…you wish to use the Elements on my sister?” Luna asked incredulously.
Twilight nodded in affirmation. “I know it’s a rather blunt way to do it, but if the magic is the same, it just might work.”
Luna’s mind twisted back and forth, putting all the variables in place. Her sister’s safety was of the upmost concern, and firing a massive rainbow of light into her wasn’t exactly the most pleasant of options. Nevertheless, Celestia is getting too used to this situation. If something isn’t done, she might decide she really does want to stay this way. I can’t allow her to do that.
Luna closed her eyes and raised her head high, portraying as much of a regal attitude as ever. “Very well. We shall attempt to use the Elements of Harmony. The sooner this situation is resolved, the better.”
“I’ll run it by the rest of the girls tonight,” said Twilight. “We should have the princess back to normal in time for tomorrow.” She turned to leave. “Well, I should go tell her the good news.”
A sudden pain raced through Twilight’s body as something stomped on her tail. She yipped and turned around, her wide eyes locking with a rather upset Luna’s. “I am afraid Princess Celestia is bathing right now. It seems she decided that drenching oneself in a multitude of substances is how a princess is supposed to behave.”
Twilight shuddered, both from the shooting pain in her tail and from her growing comprehension of what Luna was talking about. “Is this about those toys I left the princess this morning? They were some of Spike’s old ones, and I thought…”
“I thought I made my position clear,” said Luna. “You were to treat my sister like her adult self, not as a mere foal. Forgive me if I am out of touch with the times, but the last time I checked, grown ponies do not play with toys.”
Twilight gulped as Luna released her hoof from the Unicorn’s tail. “I remember, but…after what you said about Celestia’s foalhood, I thought she could use a little diversion. Besides, I didn’t just push them in her face. I left them in there in case she wanted to play with them.”
“And that’s the problem,” said Luna. “My sister is in a very delicate state of mind right now. As of right now, we need to keep a tighter leash on that filly. I’ve already ordered the guards to confine her to her quarters for the time being.”
“You WHAT?” gasped Twilight. “Princess, you can’t do that! She should be enjoying this time off, not just moping in her room!”
Luna scoffed. “Are you trying to challenge my authority on this? I have known my sister for thousands of years longer than you have even existed. I believe I know what’s better for her than you do.”
Twilight couldn’t hold back any longer. Luna’s smarminess and self-conceit was insufferable right now. “You didn’t see her last night, at least not when I did. She was scared and embarrassed of being a filly again. I wanted to give her an idea of what a modern foalhood was like. That way, she would at least have some good memories of this experience.”
Luna’s reply was stern. “If you want her to be a sloppy, lazy filly, then it is my duty to stop you. She is mine to raise as I see fit.”
“RAISE? She isn’t going to stay like this for much longer!”
“No, she isn’t! And I would very much appreciate it if you kept her in the right mindset!”
“And I think she should be doing what she wants to do!”
“What she wants is to return to normal!”
“And we’ll do that! But in the meantime, she can make up her own mind what she does with her time! She’s a growing filly, and she needs to expand her horizons. And she certainly doesn’t need some bossy pony like you ordering her around all the time!”
“HOW DARE THOU SPEAKEST TO THY PRINCESS IN SUCH A CRASS MANNER!”
“Oh, I’m sorry, didst thou forget thy speech lessons, Your Highness?”
“MY SISTER IS MY RESPONSIBILITY! WE SHALL HEAR NO MORE OF THY INSUFFERABLE…”
The two stopped as a glass fell and shattered on the floor. An entire army of onlookers had gathered around the two, drawn by the sight of a pony daring to argue with the former Nightmare Moon. The frazzled ponies managed to give a quick, weak giggle to the crowd before shuffling far, far down the hall.
----------
The two came to a stop inside Celestia’s chambers, the night princess figuring it to be the safest place to continue talking. The awkward scene and long walk had done wonders for each others’ nerves. “Now, what sayeth thou…” Luna paused, reworking her brain back into modern linguistics. “I mean, what were you saying earlier?”
Twilight gulped. “I was saying I thought we should let Celestia have some more freedom. I didn’t mean we should take her out of the palace or show her off to everypony. I just thought she might enjoy some time off.”
“Twilight Sparkle, I’m not objecting to my sister having fun,” said Luna. “I just want her to keep to the right mindset.” The princess leaned in closer to Twilight, their muzzles and horns touching. “And do not dare raise your voice like that to me again, especially around other ponies. I am just as much a princess as your dear Celestia, and it is time you and every other pony in Equestria realizes it.”
Twilight slowly stepped back, trying to keep as much distance between herself and Luna as possible. “I never said you weren’t a princess. But Celestia...”
Their conversation came to a grinding halt at the sound of the door opening. The guards from the bath stood at attention, accompanied by a lump of towels that was, apparently, Celestia. “We have delivered Princess Celestia as ordered, Your Highness.”
Luna turned to the door. “Thank you. You are dismissed.”
The lump of towels slowly shambled into the room, while the two guards quickly closed the door and started back to their post. Once she was in the very center of the room, the disgruntled filly shook the annoying cloths to the floor. In their place was the cleanest filly to ever grace Equestria. Celestia’s coat was a bleached white, her mane and tail were combed and tied with little pink ribbons, her hooves were filed and mended, her teeth were brushed until they were like a set of pearls, and her cutie mark was even shinier than before thanks to some makeup.
Twilight smiled. “Princess Celestia, you look beautiful.”
“And how was your bath, little sister?” said Luna.
Celestia growled at her big meanie of a sister. She quickly started making her way closer to Twilight, just in case Luna got some more ideas. “It was horrible. Those two servants…they prodded every inch of me! I can still feel the brushes tearing into my coat, taking off more dirt than I thought possible! And then they started brushing my mane! I swear, they were trying to pull off my whole scalp! A-A-And then…”
Luna’s hoof jumped in front of Celestia’s mouth, stopping her complaining. It did little to stop her death glare, however. “It’s your fault for making such a mess.”
“You didn’t have to have others wash me!” Celestia hissed.
Twilight could see where this conversation was headed a mile away. She loudly cleared her throat, ensuring the two would turn their attention back to her. It worked; both alicorns turned back to her, their faces perfect replicas of the ones they wore during yesterday’s fights. “Princess Celestia, I think I’ve found a way to turn you back to normal.”
The Unicorn paused, expecting to be showered with praise from her mentor for her hard work and dedication. Instead, Celestia seemed more downtrodden than anything else, kicking at the ground with one limp leg. “Oh…I see.”
“We can use the Elements of Harmony to turn you back to normal,” said Twilight. “You see, the magic Kuchen used is the same as Nightmare Moon’s, so…”
Twilight stopped as she caught Celestia’s deflated expression. “You mean, you found a cure already?”
Luna glowered at Twilight, giving her a silent but epic “I told you so.” Twilight looked down at the floor, trying her best to avoid any eye contact with the upset princesses. “A-Anyway, just let me know when you’re ready, and we can have you back to normal in no time.”
“She’s ready right now,” said Luna. “Grab the rest of the bearers and…”
Celestia suddenly snapped back to attention. “NO! I am not ready! There’s still so much I want to do!”
Luna facehoofed at her sister’s declaration. “Stuff you want to do?”
Celestia perked herself back into a regal position: back straight, head raised, and eyes looking over who she was talking to. Or in this case, trying to look over. “Why, yes. While I was enjoying the fresh air, I found myself thinking about all the things I’ve never been able to do before without sending everypony into a blind panic. This may be the only opportunity I’ll have. I refuse to go back until I’ve done everything I can.”
“You…REFUSE?” shouted Luna. “You cannot refuse a direct order from your elder sister! I order you to get ready to…”
Celestia smirked. “What’s wrong, Lu-Lu? Is ruling Equestria’s daytime too hard for you?”
Luna froze in an instant, choking back on her sister’s candy-coated venom. The memories of the day’s events crashed back to the forefront, and the princess found herself reliving every painful, agonizing memory of her court, the ERS meeting, Blueblood’s threats, and that contemptible sun. “…No, sister. I am not having problems. Tonight, once the daytime business is concluded, you are going back. And that. Is. Final.” With that, she stormed out of the room, telekinetically slamming the door so hard one of the hinges popped off.
Celestia and Twilight stared at the broken, sagging door, even as a new workcrew immediately arrived to fix it. Celestia turned back to the still-startled Twilight. “And what about you, Twilight Sparkle? You were the one who showed me how fun this could be. Do you think I should go back right now?”
Twilight was silent for several seconds, mentally weighing the pros and cons. She wanted so bad to keep Celestia happy, but between the incident with her friends and the latest outburst, the right course of action was obvious. “Princess, I wanted you to be happy while we looked for a counterspell. But Princess Luna is downright miserable right now. Would it really be fair to her if you forced her to keep doing your job?”
Celestia pouted. “I did hers for a thousand years.”
“And you were wonderful, princess. But that must have been a lot of hard work. Do you really want Luna to go through the same headaches and problems you did, while you get to have fun?”
The filly continued to pout, even as Twilight’s words rang true in her ears. Luna had all the fun as a filly. I never got to enjoy myself without an entourage wondering if I was laughing at their ensuing destruction or fearing I would slay them all for some minor inconvenience. But…Equestria has grown in a thousand years. I can’t really expect somepony who just skipped all that time to be able to manage both day and night without problems.
With a heavy sigh, Celestia stopped moping and turned back to Twilight. “You’re right. It was selfish of me to want to keep this going while Luna’s having so many problems. Prepare your friends for tonight. And Twilight…”
The princess was upon her student in an instant, warmly nuzzling the surprised Unicorn. “Thank you for a wonderful time.”
Twilight smiled and returned the pony hug. “You’re very welcome, princess.” The two slowly broke apart, still smiling. “Well, I need to talk to my friends. They need to know what’s going on.”
“That…would be kind of important,” said Celestia.
“I was thinking of taking them to Pony Joe’s. It’s close to the palace, and we really enjoyed it the last time we were all together in Canterlot. Do you want me to bring you anything?”
Celestia shook her head. “No, no. I’m sure your flanks need the calories more than mine. Have fun!”
Twilight gave a giggly nod before trotting to the door. She stopped, listened to make sure nopony else was on the other side, slowly pushed the good half of the door open, and cantered off into the hall. Celestia watched her student with a mixture of pride, love…and envy.
Yes, you need to go back to your friends. Those friends I sent you to find in Ponyville. The ones that’ll stay friends with you no matter what. The same ones that helped save the closest thing to a friend I ever had. The same sister who probably now hates me because I’m a fool who didn’t know when not to prank somepony…
She was ready to fall back into her depression completely, had she not spied a small toy sitting on her bed. Celestia quickly galloped over and tossed the figure onto her back. “Come on, General Smashemup! We’ve only got a few hours to avenge Lady Pinkinstuff!”
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Luna sauntered her way into Celestia’s private offices, half-expecting a massive wall of paperwork to come crashing down at the sound of the door opening. Instead, it was neat, tidy, and impeccably organized. The books on the shelves were sorted both alphabetically and by category, as were the tightly-bound scrolls. A dozen ink wells sat next to a pile of purple pillows, along with several cups filled with rainbow-colored quills. There was still a massive pile of papers, scrolls, and books laying about, but the rest of the room was so relaxingly ordered that it almost made Luna forget just how terrible the day was going.
Then again, it made perfect sense. Celestia almost never used the old room anymore, preferring her old study or the throne room itself for any official business. The office was kept clean and dusted, of course; none of the cleaning staff would dare leave even the most miniscule of dust mites, lest it offend a royal’s nostrils. However, over the years of Luna’s banishment, her sister had transformed it into a place to store any and all official correspondence still waiting for approval and/or transit.
In laypony’s terms, it was a place to dump all her work so she didn’t have to be constantly reminded of it.
Luna’s horn glowed, levitating a few pillows into the air. Within a few seconds, said cushions were fluffed and laid out on the ground in a straight line. Once her padding was secured, the princess lay herself upon it, stomach-side down, and telekinetically pulled up an eight-hundred page mound of papers. On the top page sat the words, “Equestria National Budget, Abridged Edition.” And below, “Approval needed” was stamped in red ink.
Okay, first things first. It’s been a thousand years since I finished a budget, but surely it’s not that much different from how things used to work. This should not take more than an hour…
----------
Blueblood’s estate had been transformed into a fortress. An extra squadron of guards had been posted around the grounds, guarding the main building and any possible entrance or exit from the premises. Only a handful of servants were allowed in and out, and always carefully inspected at each checkpoint. The Captain in charge of the operation had gone so far as to procure a detailed map of the estate from the Canterlot Records Office, detailing every secret passage the imprisoned prince could possibly use to escape.
It was about four hours into the operation that a dusty brown Earth pony walked up to a side gate. His saddlebags were filled with several large brown loaves of bread, still bearing that fresh-from-the-bakery aroma. The two pegasi at the gate gave each other a sideways glance at the stallion skipping his way up the road towards them. He would have gone so far as to plow right through the gate had a pair of razor-sharp wings not appeared before him. “HALT! State your business!”
The stallion stopped and saluted. “Bread pony, sir! I’m here with the afternoon delivery for the master of the house!” he said in a very thick Trottingham accent.
One of the guards raised an eyebrow. “Bread pony?”
“We’re a new service sir, straight from Trottingham to mighty Canterlot!” The stallion’s exuberance was laudable, even if his accent was thick enough to crush somepony. “Prince Blueblood here, he wanted to give our new bakery a shot!”
The guards were skeptical, but alas were also susceptible to the bread’s wonderful smell. A quick check of the bags, and the stallion was inside. He resumed his merry gait, hopping along the stone path until he reached the kitchen doors. One of the prince’s cooks was waiting at the window, as was expected during such things.
The bread pony flipped up on his front legs, launching the saddlebags through the window and onto a nearby counter. The cook quickly removed the good loafs, shoving them onto the various corners of the pantry. Once that task was done, she reached inside a cupboard under the shelf and pulled out a large, moldy dinner roll. “Would you mind disposing of this for me, please?”
“Sure will, ma’am!” shouted the bread pony. The cook took one last, deep breath and shoved the whole roll into the bag, along with a few bits for the delivery. She then grabbed the strap in her mouth and tossed it onto the waiting stallion’s back. His task for the day completed, he hopped, skipped and jumped his way back to the guards at the gate.
“HALT!” One of the pegasi pointed at the moldy bread. “What is…that?”
“I promised the cook I’d take it to the dustbin for her! Gotta earn a few more bits, after all!”
The guards pawed at the air with their hooves. The horrid smell assaulted all their senses at once; their eyes burned, their taste buds shriveled in fear, their sense of touch went numb, their ears rang in agony, and the less said about their noses, the better. “Fine! Take it out of here…now!”
The guards couldn’t open the gate and kick the pony’s caboose out of there fast enough. The bread pony didn’t seem to notice their relieved sighs when he left. He just kept skipping down the street, turned a corner, and kept going until he reached a sufficiently dark alley to finish his work.
After a quick glance to confirm the coast was clear, the pony stepped into one of Canterlot’s alleyways, right behind a Chewy Pony’s Amusement Center. A roll of his back was enough to send the saddlebags falling to the ground. An additional smash from his hooves broke the bread completely, revealing the hidden note and two pairs of tickets. After once again assuring the coast’s clearness, the pony picked up the note with the backside of one hood and began reading:
“Princess Luna has ordered my unlawful arrest for speaking out against her most assuredly horrid reign. I will need some leverage if I am to both ensure my release and punish the ponies who ruined my best night ever. Attached are two tickets for a banquet tomorrow night. I want you and one associate to infiltrate the castle during the party and find something I can use against Princess Luna. If successful, I will pay triple your usual fee. –Prince Blueblood of Equestria.”
The pony mulled over the assignment even as he was eating the note. Prince Blueblood was not his favorite pony to work for. In fact, the stallion was more like a foppish, annoying brat who threw violent temper tantrums when he didn’t get his way. Nonetheless, he was a private investigator, and Blueblood’s generous payments kept him out of the gutter.
The fear of discovery long since passed, the pony quickly dropped the obnoxious faked Trottingham accent and switched to his gruff, natural voice. “Guess I need to get fitted for a tux.”
----------
“Are ya sure about this, sugahcube?”
At Spike’s request, the gang had decided to celebrate their reunion with another trip to Pony Joe’s, Twilight’s favorite late night stop. Given the circumstances of their last visit, the seven found themselves enjoying the place far more without a trail of destruction behind them. The donut shop itself was still dirty from the lunch rush, but with the exception of the Twilight, Spike, their friends, and Pony Joe himself, was now totally empty.
The six sat around a round white table, half-eaten donuts and quarter-filled coffee mugs before them. The only exception was Pinkie, who was barely visible behind the two dozen glazed confections she was currently turning into a pyramid. By this point, none of the other friends were really paying attention to her antics, especially Twilight. She needed to wait until the others were gone to find out why Pinkie knew things she shouldn’t have.
“I know it sounds rather…drastic,” said Twilight.
“No, dear, that isn’t ‘drastic,’” Rarity interjected. “‘Drastic’ would be like that time I had to use Rainbow Dash as a model.” The blue Pegasus yipped as Applejack reflexively stamped on her tail. “What you’re suggesting sounds…how do I say this politely…”
“Totally *gack* insane?” grunted Rainbow Dash.
“Yes, that’s it!”
Applejack, satisfied that Dash wasn’t going to leap over the table and tackle Rarity for the not-so-subtle jab at her “brutish ways,” finally lifted her hoof off the other’s tail. The Pegasus grabbed the poor clump of hair between her forehooves and stroked it gently. “I wasn’t gonna do anything.”
“Better safe than sorry,” said Applejack.
“Um…excuse me, Twilight,” said Fluttershy, “but what if something goes wrong? We certainly don’t want to hurt the princess.”
“And we won’t,” said Twilight. “If the magic is the same as Nightmare Moon’s, then only the curse will be broken. Luna was fine when she returned to normal. At worst, all we’ll have to worry about is a temporary loss in power.”
“It won’t work,” Pinkie said, still hidden behind her donut pyramid of power.
Twilight raised an inquisitive brow. “Really? How do you know that?”
Pinkie shrugged, desperate not to drop her masterpiece’s last donut. “I just do, Twilight. You know, Pinkie Sense and all.” Her hooves gently placed the pastry on top of the others, creating the most gluttonous pyramid seen outside of a carriage stop in Bridlesville. The ponies and dragon admired the monument to all things fattening for the whole five seconds it took for Pinkie to swallow it whole, like some sort of all-devouring Elder Pony from on high.
“That’s…nice, Pinkie. Gross, but nice,” said Twilight. “But as I was saying, how did…”
Spike groaned. “Ugh, are we going here again? I thought you gave up on the whole ‘figuring out Pinkie Sense’ thing.”
“Please tell me we ya’ll don’t hafta go huntin’ fer hydras,” moaned Applejack. Fluttershy responded to the memory by squealing and ducking under the table. “Err…sorry ta bring that back up.”
The Unicorn facehoofed. “I am not trying to figure out Pinkie Sense. I got enough broken bones and bee stings the last time I tried that. Pinkie, back at the palace, you said the spell Luna used was from the Arcanus E Draconus. How did you know that?”
“…The Arcany-Eh what now?” said Rainbow Dash.
Twilight sighed. She really didn’t want to get into this, but now it looked like she had no choice. “The Arcanus E Draconus. It’s the spell book that Luna used when she cast her spell. It’s one of the most illegal, forbidden tomes known to ponydom. It was apparently locked up so tight Luna herself had to steal it.” She turned her attention back to Pinkie. “So…how did you know?”
All eyes turned to the pink pony. Pinkie’s jubilation at her monumental meal eroded into a growing sense of fear. “U-U-Um, you see…” She looked to and fro for a way out, her pink coat slowly darkening from her sweat. Her friends regarded her more with curiosity than malice; even Twilight, the chief accuser, had visibly relaxed at seeing Pinkie’s growing anxiety. Nonetheless, she couldn’t tell them the truth. She wasn’t allowed to. Nopony in the Pie Clan was allowed to. “I-I read about it in the Equestria Daily! Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Cake were wrapping up some old lemon drops in newspaper, and I saw it on the front page!”
Everypony was silent for several seconds, taking in Pinkie’s obvious lie. Pinkie continued to tremble in the far seat, unsure herself whether the excuse would hold.
“Well, that answers everything!” said Spike.
“Sure does!” added Rainbow Dash.
“I’m so sorry we put you on the spot like that,” said Fluttershy.
A few similar apologies later, and Pinkie was back to her happy, perky self, bouncing around the table without a care in the world. Twilight was the only pony not satisfied with the answer. Frosty Gaze mentioned the article in the Equestria Daily. But when I mentioned the Arcanus E Draconus to him, he was surprised that it was connected. Given the time it takes to walk from Ponyville to Canterlot, Pinke would have had to read the emergency printing. That means there’s no way she could have read it at Sugarcube Corner! Besides, everypony knows there are never leftover lemon drops, not when there’s a certain sugar-obsessed pony living...
Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight spied a nearby clock. “Drat! Come on, girls! We need to get back to the palace and get ready!” We’ll talk later, Pinkie Pie.
----------
Ruby stood outside Celestia’s office, watching the clock with growing concern. Over the course of the last two hours, her small errand had mutated into a very large, very big one. She could only hope the princess was forgiving; getting fired the same day you got promoted tended to reflect poorly on a résumé.
Princess Luna was still inside the office, obviously hard of work from the rhythmic scratching noises. It was with extreme trepidation that the Pegasus knocked on the door. “Y-Your Majesty?”
No response.
Feeling a little bolder, the attendant pushed the door open. Her hearing immediately regretted it, as the loudest, most offensive scrapping noise the pony had ever heard. Her ears flattened on reflex as she walked into the room itself. The room itself was virtually untouched, save for one thing: the loudly snoring alicorn lying on a pillow bed. Next to the princess was what looked like the budget for the next year, almost completely untouched.
Ruby was ready to start backing out when her hoof scrapped against the floor. Luna’s snoring ceased immediately, her eyelids opening like a window curtain. The princess sat up with an alarmed snort. “What? Miss Dream, when did you get here?”
“Umm…just a few seconds ago?”
Luna’s head spun towards a nearby alarm clock. Sure enough, an hour had passed since she had first entered the room. “What? I…I could not have slept that long!”
Ruby motioned towards the budget. “Your Highness…is that the National Budget?”
The still very flustered Luna levitated the paperwork towards her face. “Why yes, it is. I was working on it before I…” Her eyes snapped even wider, threatening to devour her whole face. “Before I fell asleep. I fell asleep in the middle of my duties.”
Ruby’s “assuage the god-princess” mode kicked in immediately. “It’s not a big problem, Princess Luna. I know you’ve been working day and night, and…”
“It’s not that simple!” Luna snapped. “I am supposed to be Equestria’s ruler, the Princess of the Night! It does not matter how much or how little I sleep, I must always put Equestria’s needs before my own! I was supposed to be finalizing the national budget. And instead, I was sleeping!”
“Um, Your Highness…”
“And what if I had slept through the sunset?” Luna’s panic grew a thousandfold as she thought of the ramifications. “The sunlight would throw off sleep cycles everywhere! The heat would bake crops and ponies alike! It’ll be just as destructive as an eternal night!”
“But…it’s still a couple of hours before sunset…”
“How could I have been so irresponsible?” The princess collapsed onto all fours, burying her face in her forelegs. She had already shown too much emotion twice today, and she certainly didn’t need to add a third incident to the list. This was my one chance to show everypony I could rule just as capably as my sister. And what happens? I’m humiliated by one audience after another, almost lose my sister to this curse, and fall asleep when I should be working.
“Couldn’t you just…ask for help?”
Luna raised her head, her lips formed into a cruel sneer. “From Celestia, I presume? Yes, that would be wonderful.” She jumped onto all fours and started pacing around the room, grumbling and groaning at everything she could see. “We can go right back to how it was before. She can be sitting out here, soaking up all the praise she gets from this nanny state she’s formed, while I just languish in the shadows with all the real work!”
Before Ruby could say anything in response, Luna was back at the paperwork. Her eyes were beginning to water from her frustration. “I never wanted to rule Equestria by myself forever. I didn’t even expect everypony to love me. I just wanted to prove I was as good as my sister.”
There was nothing to say to that. Ruby couldn’t find the words to comfort the despairing princess, and even if she could, Luna was in no mood to receive any pity sympathy. The entire room felt darker and heavier as the Princess of the Night slumped back on all fours. The Pegasus was about to leave the room altogether when the door slammed open. The poor red pony yelped and jumped back as one of the Unicorn guards entered the room, a letter firmly placed in his mouth. He looked genuinely surprised to see anypony, much less the princess, actually using the office like an office instead of an oversized sorting tray.
The guard spat the letter on the desk, bowed in apology, and walked out of the room. Once he was gone, all it took was a quick nod from Luna to give the order. Ruby instinctively snatched up the envelope, grabbed a nearby letter opener with her teeth, and started opening it for her princess.
“So, what did they send this time?” muttered Luna. “Threats? Demands for Celestia’s release? A bomb?”
Ruby scanned the letter quickly; she knew Luna didn’t have the patience right now for a formal reading. As its words rang through her mind, she could feel her tension gradually lifting. “It’s from the Canterlot Medical Center.”
Luna rolled her eyes at the name. “Are they trying to bill the palace for all the widespread panic losing Celestia for a day caused?”
“No, it’s actually something better. Apparently, they were hoping you could make an appearance tomorrow.” Luna’s ears perked up. “It’s something about inspecting the recent renovations in the children’s ward.” The ears went flat. “And they were wondering if you would also stay to visit with the patients for a little while after.”
The letter suddenly found itself flying off the table, stopping in front of Luna. Her attendant wasn’t lying; it was indeed a request from one of the local hospitals, asking for her to come by and make a public appearance. “In other words, they want to use me as a public relations stunt. It sounds like something Celestia would do.”
Something Celestia would do…
A bolt of inspiration struck the princess the moment she reflected on her own words. She hopped back to all fours, her wings half-extended from surprise. “That’s it! Ruby, what is our schedule like tomorrow?”
The Pegasus scrambled for a copy of the next day’s calendar. A quick flip through was enough to find some good news. “Tomorrow morning is open after an eight o’clock meeting with the Canterlot Royal Orchestra. Princess Celestia was hoping they would perform at tomorrow’s function, but...after the Gala incident…”
Luna shuddered at the thought of Blueblood’s crashed party. “Please, say no more. Miss Dream, take a letter.”
Ruby fired a quick salute and went right to work, grabbing a quill with her pastern and pulling out a blank scroll. Seeing her attendant was ready, Luna began to pace about the room in a far more proper, royal manner. “To whom it may concern: I have received your invitation, and will be more than happy to attend this function. Although I am somewhat distressed by the short notice, I am certain I can be at the appointed place at promptly ten o’clock. Please make the necessary arrangements. Signed, Princess Luna.”
Ruby’s quill slid off the last “a” with a flourish, adding to the illusion that the princess herself had written the actual note. Luna’s horn lit up yet again as the scroll folded and sealed itself. The finished document was then slit in front of Ruby’s face. “I want this delivered immediately to the Canterlot Medical Center. Once you’ve finished with that, I want you to start supervising the preparations for tomorrow’s party. I have some other matters to attend to in the meanwhile, and will join you there once I’m finished.”
----------
For the first time in months, Luna actually felt like skipping. The smile she now wore wasn’t that of a beleaguered ruler trying desperately to stay presentable, but instead revealed her genuine glee. The whole day had gone wrong so far, but now there was a glimmer of hope. For the first time since her return, somepony had actually invited her to official business. It wasn’t Celestia trying to drag her out of her room again, and she didn’t have to dramatically fly in and crash whatever party was being held. It just felt great to be wanted.
And even better, Twilight Sparkle had finally found a way to reverse the spell. In but a few minutes, Luna’s mistake would be fixed. And once Celestia was an adult again, she would take her old job back, and Luna would go back to just ruling over the night. That darling Celestia would get all the love and admiration that was rightfully due to both sisters, while Luna would be spoken of in hushed whispers for generations to come. Nopony would care that Celestia had spent the last two months taking out her work-related woes on her younger sister, or that said little sister was unable to actually accomplish anything because everypony regarded her as a horrible monster. Nope, she would go right back to being Nightmare Moon Junior while Celestia regained her position as the God-Empress of Ponies.
Luna’s hoofs skidded to a halt. She hadn’t thought this all through. I can still do this. I just have to tell Celestia to hold off for a few days. By then, I should at least have enough of a hoofhold that I won’t…
She shook her head, angry at herself for having such thoughts. No. I was just Celestia’s steward in all this. There’s far more to being a princess than popularity. Or, for that matter, having anypony actually like you.
Luna gave a mournful moan at the thought. She knew what she had to do. Celestia, it’s time you came back.
----------
All six ponies were ready by the time the two princesses entered the throne room. The six bearers of the Elements of Harmony had their respective Elements on, the candlelight dancing off the exquisite gems like a thousand little rays of sunlight. The room itself was almost completely dark, the sun having been blocked by the approaching storm. The dramatic appropriateness was not lost on anyone involved.
Celestia’s steps were slow and uneven, while her mind still tried to process a way out of this predicament. There’s still so much I never got to do. I wish I had just a few more days. I haven’t had so much fun since…
“Are you all right, sister?” asked Luna.
Celestia looked up at her sister, forcing a small smile. She had had thousands of years of practice, and was a certifiable master of hiding her real emotions. Granted, her sister knew her better than anypony else, and could easily tell when she was lying her head off, but that was beside the point. “I’m all right.”
“Are you…sure you’re ready to go back?” Please say no please say no please say no…
Celestia frowned. “How ready I may be isn’t important. I am a princess, and I have my royal responsibilities to fulfill.” And the most important one to me is seeing you happy…
Luna nodded. “Spoken like a true princess.” And just when I had something to look forward to…
Celestia stopped halfway through the hall, about twelve feet from the ponies. The air was cold and solemn as the two parties looked at each other. “Princess, are you ready?” asked Twilight.
Celestia gulped. “R-Ready.”
Twilight nodded to the others, and the process began. The jewelry glowed brighter and brighter, each intricate gem glistening with its own hue. The energy resonated off the necklaces like shockwaves, showering the chamber with afterimages of the cutie mark-shaped objects. All six pairs of eyes turned bright white, while an aura of brilliant light shined forth like several small lanterns. The powers finally coalesced into a massive rainbow, which shot to the roof, curved right back down, and struck Celestia dead center.
----------
For all the times she had wielded the Elements, Celestia had never experienced being struck with the power of Harmony itself. Judging from the effects their power had on both her sister and Discord before her, she had expected something fierce and strong, possibly even cruel. Instead, it was warm and nurturing. She couldn’t quite decide what it was exactly, but she felt better than she ever had before. It was like raw magical power was being pumped into her soul, or whatever it was she and Luna had.
Celestia felt invigorated as the rainbow continued to spin around her. She stretched out her wings and spread her hooves out, eager to finally be an adult again.
Then she felt a horrible coldness run up her spine. The same feeling that had hit her when Luna first cast the spell returned…
----------
On the other side of the rainbow, Luna was keeping a close eye on the situation. Her eyes were locked on the external, focusing on both the Bearers and the rainbow they had created. At the same time, her horn was glowing with an intense light, her magic feeding her information on Celestia’s condition. The princess herself was at the far corner of the room, anxious to see if Twilight’s plan would actually work.
On the surface, it seemed that everything was going according to plan. The rainbow’s appearance perfectly matched what she had seen over a thousand years ago, when she and her sister defeated Discord and became the nation’s formal rulers. And yet, her horn was telling a different story. Celestia’s heartbeat, brain activity, and general vitals were not changing. Even worse, the rainbow was taking far too long. It should have broken apart over a minute ago.
Then she felt it. It was like some invisble force had cracked a whip across her back. The layers of enchantments weren’t just still there, they were about to recast the spell by themselves. Luna tried to scream out a warning, but the rainbow suddenly exploded in a blast of white light. Her words were drowned out as the entire throne room disappeared into a white void…
TO BE CONTINUED…
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Eight
The light faded just as quickly as it had appeared, taking the rainbow with it. Remarkably, the magic shielding along the throne room walls and windows held strong, and no part of the actual palace structure was harmed. The same could not be said for the candles; the rush of air from the explosion had blown each of them out, leaving the entire chamber shrouded in near darknesss.
It took Luna’s eyes a few moments to fully adjust to the sudden change in lighting. Heart pounding, she immediately turned to physically and magically scanning herself in case anything had changed. Fortunately, whatever the spell’s effects were, it had apparently not been powerful enough to reach the princess. Her coat was the same color, her cutie mark was intact, her magic was still working, her wings were functional, her mane and tail still shimmered like stars, and a quick comparison to one of the windows confirmed she hadn’t shrunk. Everything was all…
Oh no! Celestia!
Luna quickly cast a “light candle” spell, illuminating the entire room. Nonetheless, her brain was working far too fast to actually focus on anything. The spell was the same one she had used on Celestia to begin with, that much was sure. It might not have affected her, but if Celestia was at the center of the blast, there was no telling how much younger she might have gotten. The Arcanus E Draconus said the Youth Restoration Spell could not regress a pony past the point of their birth. But…what if she’s a baby? I can’t take care of a baby Celestia by myself! I’m thousands of years too young to be a mother!
“Ugh…Grah…Luna…”
The small voice broke through Luna’s panic mode. The alicorn glanced towards the spot where her sister stood, and to her relief saw the same white pony lying there. Luna cleared the gap between herself and Celestia with a single bound, landing with enough force to shake a few of the items around the throne room. On the plus side, she seemed uninjured. On the down side, she was still a silly little filly.
With a quick jerk, Luna flung Celestia into her upper barrel, squeezing her in a vice-like grip. Celestia choked and gagged against her sister’s bear hug, wrapping one of her own forelegs over her neck and pushing back with all her might. “I’m so sorry, sister! I thought I had lost you forever!”
“Well, you haven’t,” Celestia croaked. “Can you please let me go?”
Luna quickly released her sister, the filly flopping onto the floor. “What happened back there?”
Luna shook her head sadly. “In all honesty, I’m not sure. From what I can tell, the curse was able to…recast itself.”
Celestia yipped in horror. “Recast? Does that mean I’m even younger now?”
Luna’s horn glowed as she went back to scanning Celestia. The enchantments from before were still there, but nothing had been added or subtracted to the mix since then. “As far as I can tell, no. You’re the same size, your memories are obviously all there, and I can’t really see any injuries.”
“You mean, before or after the bear hug?” Celestia joked.
That was when they heard the other groans and moans.
Very high-pitched groans and moans.
Very foalish groans and moans.
Luna and Celestia both went stark pale with fear as they slowly turned their heads to where the other six had been standing earlier. In their place were a collection of little fillies, all of which bore the exact same coat colors and cutie marks as Twilight and her friends. The necklaces were still around their necks, while Twilight’s tiara had fallen off her shrunken head and rolled onto its side.
The princesses galloped to the fallen heroes, prodding and muzzling the pile in hopes of getting a response. After a few seconds, Twilight’s eyes finally forced themselves open. Celestia jumped in front of her personal student’s face. “Twilight Sparkle! Are you all right?”
“Mmnh, guh.” Twilight cleared her throat and stared up at her mentor. A big smile registered across her face as she took in the new size difference. “Princess Celestia! It worked!”
“Um…Twilight?” Celestia scrunched her face as she tried to articulate the words. “The Elements…didn’t work.”
“What? B-But you’re bigger!”
Luna stepped into Twilight’s view. “Would you please stop avoiding the issue?”
Twilight gasped at the sight of Luna’s massive form. The shock from the rainbow explosion had started to clear, only to be replaced by the horror of her situation. “P-P-Princess Luna? When did you get so big?”
“I’m the same size as ever,” said Luna. “It is you that has changed, Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight groggily climbed to her hooves. Even she could not deny that something had gone horribly wrong anymore. She reached a trembling hoof to her forehead and tapped her little stub of a horn. Sure enough, it had receded back into her skull, far more than Celestia’s horn had. “I-I’m a filly?!”
Celestia wrapped a foreleg around her student’s neck. “It’s all right, Twilight. It’s not that bad being a filly, remember?”
Twilight still felt quite weak, and her horn was hurting something fierce, but she still managed to muster enough strength to stare at both princesses before letting out a long, soul-shattering scream. The instant her voice broke through the air molecules, the doors crashed open, revealing several dozen armed and armored pegasi and Unicorns. They took one look at the two stunned princesses, another look at the panicking filly and her recovering friends, and a third look at the princesses. “Your Majesties!”
Luna quickly recovered in face of her protectors. “I will explain everything later. Just return to your post!”
“U-Understood, your Majesty.” The guards quickly dispersed back to their usual posts in the palace, and the doors came back to a gentle close.
----------
By the time the two had managed to calm Twilight down a little, the other ponies had begun to awaken. Applejack’s head was buried in her hat, the brim of which sat around her small neck. Rainbow Dash’s mane and tail looked like they had not seen a comb since the day she was born. Fluttershy, despite apparently being one of the oldest ponies in the group as far as Celestia and Luna could tell, was now the same size as the others, with her hair parted over one of her eyes. And Rarity...had not changed much at all, besides the smaller horn and much larger eyes. Fortunately, all the ponies still had their cutie marks, and the Elements of Harmony, now too large for their bearers, were still sitting on the spots where they had slid off.
It didn’t take long for the four to realize something was very wrong. Seeing a gigantic Luna tended to have that affect on ponies. “Wh-Wha’ happened?” asked Applejack.
Luna turned back to the spot where Celestia had been standing, her horn prodding for any magical interference. “As far as I can tell, when the Elements of Harmony interacted with the curse, it triggered a magical backlash. Instead of removing the enchantments, the rainbow caused them to recast themselves. Since there was nopony to focus the spell through a Possession spell, it instead reduced everypony affected to the point where they more closely matched Celestia’s age. And because Celestia was the source of the blast, she was unaffected.”
“But what about you?” whined Rarity.
Luna shrugged. “I’ve already scanned myself, and found no changes. The only explanation that comes to mind is I was out of the spell’s range.”
“Th-Then we’re fillies forever?” sobbed Rainbow Dash. The other ponies immediately joined in the chorus of screams and moans. The guards were once again at the door, only to back down when Luna gave them a Nightmare Moon-worthy glare.
“You need to calm down, my little ponies,” said Celestia. “It’s not as bad as you think.”
“N-Not as bad?!” growled Applejack. “Look a’ us! How can ah buck apples when mah rear legs ain’t more ‘an stumps?”
“Fillies can’t join the Wonderbolts!” exclaimed Dash. “By the time I’m old enough to try again, they’ll all be in retirement homes!”
“And what about my fashion career?” complained Rarity. “I can’t run a business like this! I’ll have to sell Carousel Boutique and move back in with…my…PARENTS!” The white Unicorn filly swooned and hit the floor with a solid thud.
Twilight bit her lower lip to keep from crying any more. “Magic...Kindergarten.”
“I promise you, there is nothing to worry about,” said Luna. “If the spell is the same one…”
The princess’ logical musings were interrupted by frantic beating noises. Dash was beating her wings together in a desperate attempt to gain some altitude. She was able to fly straight upwards and hover about six inches off the ground, but otherwise didn’t dare to try anything else. In any case, that was all the height she needed for her next step. Pitching herself downwards, she charged right at the still-stunned purple Unicorn. “It’s your fault, Twilight! You did this to us!”
Celestia was at her student’s side as fast as a pony could blink. The poor Unicorn was absolutely terrified underneath Rainbow’s hooves. “It’s not her fault! She couldn’t have known the Elements would have caused this!”
“I…I didn’t mean to…” Twilight sobbed.
Applejack galloped up to the three, stopping to point an accusing hoof at her friend. “Whether ya meant it or not don’t matter! Ya’ll promised us nothin’ would go wrong!”
From her vantage point on the floor, Rarity continued to moan. “No mother, don’t wear those pants. They don’t go with your sweater…”
“Um…excuse me, but we have a problem.”
Everypony’s eyes turned to Fluttershy. In all the confusion, the yellow Pegasus pony had remained almost completely silent, making nary a squeak as her companions started tearing at each other’s throats. She didn’t seem overly worried or terrified about the current situation, which seemed rather surprising for a pony as easily frightened as her. Once everypony’s eyes were on her, however, she began to grow more and more self-conscious. “That is, I think it’s a problem, but have any of you seen Pinkie?”
All three normal fillies and both princesses gasped as they realized what she was talking about. There was no sign of Pinkie Pie, or of the Element of Laughter itself. Dash’s attention immediately returned to Twilight. “And now you killed Pinkie?”
“Wh-Wh-What?” Twilight gasped.
“Ya must’ve made Pinkie so much younger that she jus’ disappeared!” Applejack snapped.
Twilight’s growing fear and guilt were driving her to near-catatonia by this point. Rarity, meanwhile, was already there. “I am a lady, Father. I don’t want to be a hoofball star.”
“ENOUGH!”
The force of Luna’s voice was enough to send Celestia and Applejack toppling into Rainbow Dash. All three fillies rolled off of Twilight, collapsing in a pile of dusty, bruised foals at the far end of the chamber. Fluttershy sprinted as fast as her tiny legs could carry her behind the throne itself. The acoustics of the chamber were enough to snap even Rarity out of her catatonia-induced nightmares, just as Sweetie Belle was preparing to earn her “Good Big Sister” Cutie Mark. Twilight was still on the ground, shaking with abject fear of her coming fate.
The princess took a few seconds to clear her throat before continuing. “As I was saying, the spell wears off by itself in two hours. The only reason my sister has not returned to normal herself is because she is different from normal ponies. Furthermore, I do not know what happened to your friend, but she is still alive. The spell’s instructions specifically stated it could make a pony no younger than when they were born and no older than when the spell was first cast.” Her eyes locked on the still-cowering Twilight. “Or did Celestia’s favorite student forget to mention that information?”
The entire room fell silent. After a few seconds, the noiseless atmosphere was broken by several sets of hooves clopping and scrapping along the palace floor, as three little fillies slowly walked towards Twilight. Being the closest to her, Rainbow Dash was naturally the first pony to reach her sobbing mess of a friend. “Um…Twi,” she mumbled. “S-Sorry I flew off the handle back there. I was just so scared.”
“An’ me too. Ah was worried ‘bout Apple Bloom an’ Big Mac an’ how they all would run the farm without me, an’ ah guess ah overreacted.”
“And I…suppose it wouldn’t be too bad if I had to live with my parents again. I mean, they raised me wonderfully, and Sweetie Belle is turning into quite the mature filly, so…I apologize for my behavior.”
“It’s really not too bad,” said Fluttershy. “And well, it’s going to wear off soon, so we have nothing to worry about. And besides, I’m sure Pinkie is fine. She probably just ran off for some cupcakes.”
Behind her shaking hooves, Twilight dared to smile. The good feelings only intensified as Celestia stroked her along the back of her mane. “You see, Twilight? Your friends may be upset, but they don’t hate you. You just need to think things through a little better next time.”
Twilight climbed back to all fours, her small filly body filled with a renewed sense of confidence. Wiping the few remaining tears from her eyes with one foreleg, she looked back at her friends and mentor with a guilty but still loving smile. “I’m sorry, girls. I didn’t mean for this to happen to all of us. And Princess Celestia, I’m glad you’re all right. I was so sure the Elements would work.”
“Yes, about that…”
All six ponies turned up towards Luna. The princess’ mood was still more than a little dark and angry, something that greatly terrified all six currently in attendance. The blue alicorn fixed her eyes on Twilight in the sternest, most chilling of ways. “You were supposed to research a way to break the curse, not spread it to other ponies. We were fortunate it only affected you and your friends, Twilight Sparkle. Had we performed this in a less fortified location, the spread might have been much farther.”
Twilight’s ears drooped as her eyes turned away from the princess’ cruel gaze. The other Ponyville residents were still too frightened of the now much larger Luna to respond. Fortunately for all five, Celestia was still more than willing to stand up to her sister. The white alicorn stepped between Luna and the others and locked her eyes on the pony before her. “That’s quite enough, Luna. Twilight may have made a mistake, but it was based on the information she had at the time. She was just trying to help.”
Luna’s eyes softened, but her voice remained firm. “And in doing so, she may have caused an even bigger disaster. What if the spell had recast itself on you, little sister? Who knows how much younger you would be right now.”
“Th-That’s true, but it doesn’t mean you should be…”
Celestia’s counterargument was cut off by a slamming noise from behind, followed by a familiar voice. “Hey, no fair! I was supposed to be back before you gals woke up!”
Everypony turned towards the now open doors and the pony that had forced them open to begin with. Pinkie Pie had an entire serving platter of cupcakes perched on her back, showing all the balance and expertise of a tightrope walker. Her mouth was twisted into a goofy, nonchalant grin, something that clashed with Luna’s still-stern demeanor and the fear from the rest of the fillies in the room.
And then there was the strangest thing of all. She was still a full-grown mare.
The stares, slacked jaws, sunken-in eyes and low whinnying from her friends and rulers eventually managed to drill their way through Pinkie’s otherwise impenetrable giddiness. “Oh, you’re wondering why I’m still big and you’re all small now.” She quickly dashed underneath Luna’s head and politely closed her open mouth. “Well, except for you Princess Luna. You’re still as big as ever!”
“Wh-Wh-How-A-WHAT?!” Twilight shouted.
“How in blazes are ya still grown up, Pinkie?” Applejack stammered.
The pink one was quiet, almost contemplative, before she gave a response. “Well, when we were using the Elements to zap Princess Celestia, I got this iiiiiitchy feeling on my crest! That’s Pinkie Sense for ‘Somepony’s gonna turn you into a filly unless you run away really fast!’ So I did! When the spell died down, I saw you were all such cuties that I had to get you some cupcakes but there’s no Sugarcube Corner in Canterlot so I ran all the way down to the kitchen where a nice pony called Greeny-something gave me some cupcakes she was making for a party tomorrow so I could give them all to you!” Pinkie huffed and puffed from her last energetic outburst. “And here we are.”
The six fillies looked about each other disbelievingly, quietly dissecting the holes in Pinkie’s story. Luna, on the other hoof, did not require that much time to figure things out. Her hoof struck the floor with enough force to shake the entire chamber. Pinkie reared back, somehow managing to not drop a single cupcake in the process. “I do not appreciate being lied to! You will tell us – all of us – what really transpired this instant!”
Pinkie went completely frozen in horror, both from the shock of Luna’s outburst and the growing realization that she was cornered. For the second time today, sweat poured down the party pony’s face as she squirmed underneath Luna’s terrifying gaze. Salvation came only when Spike walked into the room, carrying the chest holding Celestia’s regal ornaments. “Hey guys! Is Princess Celestia ba-”
Spike went stiff the moment he saw his friends’ current condition. The wooden box fell out of his claws and clattered on the floor. Twilight could tell this was not going to be fun, no matter how her assistant reacted. “Spike, we can explain…”
The dragon’s mind finally managed to focus on the most proper emotion in such a situation. Spike sputtered and smirked before just falling backwards, barely managing to avoid landing right on his tail. The ponies crowded around their fallen comrade, echoing a chorus of questions about Spike’s wellbeing and the like. Twilight in particular was blushing with a combination of embarrassment for herself and fear over her surrogate son/brother’s brain freeze. She shook the dragon by the shoulders, desperate to rouse some sense of life out of him. All the small boy did was mutter something about Luna cursing them all before falling right back into unconsciousness.
Luna sighed. “He didn’t know the spell wears off, either.”
Twilight nodded, eliciting another groan from Luna.
“In any case, what’s done is done. I will expect you to resume your research once the spell’s effects are gone. The guards have already seen all of you, so I suppose there’s no harm in letting you return to Celestia’s chambers for the time being. I will have Spike taken to the infirmary for the time being.”
“But he should go with us,” said Fluttershy. “I mean, um, he’s just a little dizzy, right?”
“He can join you once he’s awake, but if he faints just by seeing the lot of you as fillies, I doubt he would be able to stand being in the same room as six of you. Even after a thousand years, boys are exactly the same.”
Luna turned her attention back to Pinkie. “And seeing as how you’re the only adult in the party at the moment, I want you to keep an eye on these girls until things return to normal. Consider yourself their royal chaperone.”
“Oooh, that sounds all official and stuff!” said Pinkie. “I like that! I’ve always wanted to be called something like ‘Pinkie Pie: Queen of Laughter!’ Can we call me that instead, huh?”
Luna just had to facehoof to that. Honestly, with this one, how can you tell if the spell did anything or not? “Just…keep them out of trouble.”
Pinkie fired a quick salute. “Okie-dokie-loki! Pinkie Pie is on the case!”
And just below the two, six fillies looked at each other with a growing sense of doom…
----------
Celestia’s room was still a disaster area by the time the fillies got back. The doors had been fixed from Luna’s earlier rampage, the broken hinges replaced with brand new ones that didn’t match the other half of the door. The same could not be said for the room itself. Her companions were shocked at the sight before them, save for the one pony that had actually been in the palace the whole day.
“Would you look at this place?” said Rarity. “I have never seen such a disheveled mess in all my life.”
Celestia smiled. “I know. Isn’t it wonderful?” Rarity managed to let out a few surprised gasps and jaw creaks before wisely deciding to drop the subject before everything she knew about the princess was dashed forever.
The fillies (plus one adult) quickly found their respective spots amidst the clutter. Twilight hopped onto one of the guest cushions and started for one of the books. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash jumped onto Celestia’s bed, bouncing slightly on the small cushion as they did so. Rarity sat in a corner and busied herself with straightening the messy bedroom, a fruitless task without either her magic or enough strength to lift the several thousand page tomes within. Applejack buried her head in her hat and leaned against the wall, eager to take a Dash-level nap. Pinkie Pie sat the cupcake platter down on top of a pile of encyclopedias and started munching away on her portion.
Celestia laid herself down next to Twilight. The adrenaline from earlier was wearing off, allowing the princess to begin assessing the situation clearly for the first time tonight. Here was Twilight and her friends, the very bearers of the Elements of Harmony and saviors of Equestria twice over, reduced to mere fillies before her eyes. They were still shocked and scared by what had just occurred, but were otherwise unharmed, like her. And even more, these ponies had known and interacted with Celestia more than any other pony in the last thousand years, save for Princess Luna prior to her banishment.
In other words, this was an opportunity…
“Sooooo, what shall we do until the spell wears off?”
Everypony was silent for a few seconds after she said that, save for Pinkie’s gleeful munching. Rainbow was the one who finally broke the tension. “What do you mean? It’s not like we can do anything like this.”
“Sure we can!” Celestia chirped. “We can sing a song, or play a game, or just do something other than mope around.”
Applejack raised her hat enough to peek out from underneath. “Ah-Ah don’t know. Ah mean, it’s nice ya’ll are okay ’n such, but ta whole day’s ’en wasted on this.”
“And how are you supposed to function with a place like this!” shouted Rarity. “Books on the floor, bed unmade…UGH! It’s like Sweetie Belle’s room after one of her Crusader meetings!”
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy remained silent, the former simply rolling her eyes. Pinkie was so enraptured in the last of her cupcakes that she wasn’t even paying attention to the others. Twilight, meanwhile, was busy looking through reams of books for some light reading material, no doubt hoping to find something that would help steer her research back on course after this latest blunder. Celestia’s hopes deflated like a leaky balloon, returning the princess to her dour, depressed self. “I…I see. It was a stupid idea, anyway.”
“Now wait just a minute!”
Pinkie, having saved her appetite from the scourges of hunger, hopped to all fours in a manner befitting a conquering hero. Everypony’s eyes were upon her as a beacon of light appeared to shine from behind. “Your princess said she wanted to play a game, so that’s what we’re gonna do!”
“But Pinkie, um, none of the other ponies sound interested,” said Fluttershy.
All this earned was a swift rebuke from the pinkest of ponies. “Nonsense, I say, nonsense! You don’t think Pinkie Pie, party pony extraordinaire, can’t recognize a room full of gloomy gusses when she sees it? Now, are you gonna just sit there and moan like a bunch of babies?”
Pinkie’s frantic energy quickly spread to everypony in the room. All six fillies jumped up and shouted, “NO!”
“Are we gonna be lumps on a log and make Princess Celestia unhappy?”
“NO!”
“Or are we gonna get off our hineys and actually do something fun with all this?!”
The six fillies huddled together in one, unified mass of furry cuteness. “YEAH!”
“Fantastic!” Pinkie’s voice dropped back down to normal levels in a desperate attempt to save what remained of her vocal chords. “So…did you have any ideas?”
The glee on the fillies’ faces fell as they came upon a horrible realization: not a single one of them had any idea what to actually do. Even Celestia had failed to think that far ahead. Within that period of silence, however, Twilight got to thinking. Pinkie’s lying to me, I know it. If she knows anything about Kuchen and the magic he used, I’ll have to make her tell me everything.
The purple filly’s hoof shot into the air. “I have a suggestion! Who’s up for ‘Truth or Dare?’”
----------
By the time Luna arrived at the ballroom, preparations were already well under way. The room itself was still under obvious repair. Plastic tarps were tied across the floor and along walls and columns, and more than a few workponies had left their tools and painting supplies behind for the day. More than a few windows had been shattered in the animal stampede, and had instead been covered in the same cheap plastic sheets to protect against tonight’s storm. The stage had been reduced to splinters and scrap wood in the same scuffle, and the statues had yet to be replaced. It would be a miracle if the room was ready for the next Grand Galloping Gala.
Nonetheless, the room’s size made it ideal for storing the supplies for tomorrow’s formal soiree. Over a dozen ponies were busy unloading boxes from carts, inspecting tables and chairs for the most minute of infractions, and reviewing each part of the party step-by-step. Luna’s presence was hardly noticed by the frantic workers.
It didn’t take long to find Ruby. She was the Pegasus flying just a few feet under the ceiling, a clipboard precariously held between her forelegs as she shouted orders. “Everypony, please make sure the chairs don’t have any chips or splinters! The last thing we need is some duke getting angry about a wooden stick in his hind quarters! Elegance, please make sure the tablecloths match the napkins. If they have to be cleaned, send them to the laundry immediately! And if the food has to be chilled, PLEASE take it straight to the kitchens! We’ve already lost a whole crate of ice cream!”
The brief lull in Ruby’s hysterics was enough for her to make notice of Princess Luna. She immediately dived to the floor and bowed. Her sudden movement clued everypony else in on the royal in their presence, and everypony followed suit. More than a few suddenly-dropped dishes and decorations crashed and shattered against the floor, further igniting Luna’s flustered feelings. Nevertheless, she had enough time walking to the ballroom for her nerves to calm a little, enough at least to prevent another outburst. “I assume everything is in order, Miss Dream?”
Ruby rose to her hooves. “E-E-Everything is…fine so far,” she stammered. “There’s been a few problems, but nothing too serious.”
Luna didn’t buy the lie for a second. Ruby’s very speech and demeanor was like a small child playing innocent after raiding the cookie jar, despite being covered in bread crumbs and standing right next to the broken jar. “And what problems have occurred?”
“Well…the seating chart has feuding houses right next to each other, the storm is going to make the entire garden too wet and soft for the guests, and somepony on the kitchen staff ordered cranberries instead of blueberries! And that’s just in the last half hour!” She threw herself at Luna’s hooves. “Please forgive me! It’s my first time!”
Oh, for the love of Mom. “Miss Dream, your concerns are far from serious. The aristocracy will have to stomach sharing space with ponies they dislike, especially if they wish to remain within Equestria’s power circle. It should not take very long for a few Unicorns to dry the grounds for tomorrow. And lastly…” She cocked an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with cranberries?”
Ruby very slowly rose back up, still a shuddering wreck of a pony. “Well…Princess Celestia specifically forbids them at all royal functions. I don’t know why. As far as I can tell, none of the guests have any allergies.”
Luna sighed. “It’s because she hates them. And I swear the only reason she hates them is because I love them. Place an emergency order for the blueberries, but make sure the cooks incorporate some of the other berries into the cooking. I have had nary a one since my return.”
Ruby grabbed a pencil from the top of the clipboard and furiously scribbled the note down before returning the instrument. “At once, your Highness. And I also need to inform you of some changes to the number of ponies attending. Word of Prince Blueblood’s arrest has apparently started to spread.”
Luna groaned and hid her face behind one foreleg. “Let me guess, they all decided I was some kind of horrible monster and cancelled.”
Ruby’s eyes shifted to the left. “Actually…our attendance has more than doubled in the last hour alone.”
The color flushed from Luna’s face almost immediately, while a chill of surprise ran up her spine. “D-Doubled? But Blueblood swore the nobility would turn on me for daring to challenge him!”
Ruby turned back to her trusty-dusty clipboard, flipping through the pages until she found the right one. “According to this, most ponies actually started avoiding these gatherings once the Prince came of age. Last month, there were only six ponies attending at all, the princess and prince included. Now we’re close to a hundred.”
It took a while longer for the news to travel through Luna’s ears and into her cerebellum. You mean, they won’t hate me on sight? They’ll actually come to a party without Celestia?
The self-doubt soon made its grand return. No, they’re just like the rest of the ponies. They’ll spend all night asking me “Where’s Celestia? What have you done with her? We can’t live without the only princess in Equestria!”
“Um…Your Highness?”
Luna snapped out of her stupor as Ruby’s foreleg waved in front of her face. It took her a few more seconds to realize her wings were unfolded, and a few more than that to see that a few of the objects around the room were gently floating in a dark blue aura. The princess couldn’t help but rub the back of her head and smile sheepishly. “M-My apologizes, Miss Dream, but I believe it’s time to begin the night. I leave everything in your hooves.”
The princess turned to leave, only to be stopped by a tap on one of her wings. “Your Highness, there is something else we need to discuss. It’s about that errand I ran earlier.”
“Ah yes, your mysterious disappearance earlier today,” Luna said.
“Well…you see, tomorrow’s ‘Take Your Filly To Work’ day at my daughter’s school and…well…”
The princess groaned at the contrivance. I already have one rambunctious foal to contend with, as well as five more that need to be tended to until they return to normal. And now my attendant wants to add another to the pile? Nevertheless, she managed to maintain as much of her game face as was possible at the moment. “I do not suppose she has a father who can take her tomorrow? The palace is hardly a place for a filly.”
“I thought about that, but her father’s job is no place for a filly her age, and I had to fill out the security paperwork, and…”
Luna raised a hoof, silencing the mare. “Very well, if there is no other way around it, your daughter may come here tomorrow. Just make sure she checks in with security outside, is on her best behavior, and above all else, make sure she stays away from my sister!”
Having said her piece, Luna marched through the ballroom doors and started towards the stairs. Ruby waited until she was well out of earshot before turning back to her duties. At least Lofty will… “AGH! What did I tell you? You need to have horseshoes on at all times here! We can’t afford to fix everypony’s cracked hooves!”
----------
Rarity stared at the glass before her, shivering slightly at the green bubbling liquid within. “A-Are you sure about this?”
“You picked dare, remember?” said Rainbow Dash. “You have to drink it down.”
Inside the glass was boiled apple juice, laced with pepper and seasoned with a dash of nutmeg. The noxious drink fumed and raged within its glass confines, just daring the white Unicorn to take a sip. Rarity tried to think of a way out of this predicament, preferably one that didn’t end with her getting her stomach pumped, but the only way was to finish her turn and drink the garbage.
With a few loud moans, the filly grabbed the glass with both front hooves and brought it to her lips. The noxious fumes were powerful enough to peel paint, but the filly held on long enough for the apple juice to slide down into her throat. Once every drop was gone, she threw the glass side, her mouth puffed up like a squirrel from all the inedible stuff inside. Everypony watched with bated breath as the miniature fashionesta slowly and painfully swallowed the mass down.
Five seconds later, Rarity was feeling more than a little queasy, but was otherwise still alive. A few more seconds, and she was pounding on the door, begging to be led to the nearest bathroom or outhouse. Fortunately, the same guard that had ordered the disgusting drink for the ponies was willing to escort the filly to where she could properly empty the contents of her stomach.
Rainbow Dash was already rolling on her back, kicking her legs in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Applejack was snorting back a few giggles, but the other ponies were far more concerned about Rarity’s safety than finding schadenfraude in their friend’s misery. It wasn’t until the diminutive Unicorn returned, still gagging but otherwise relieved, that they finally gave in to the humor of the situation.
Rarity’s eyes locked onto Rainbow Dash, as if she was trying to will an army of soldiers into existence who would punish that accursed foal. “I am so glad my *cough* suffering is making you happy, Rainbow.”
“Well, it’s your own fault!” Rainbow broke into another bout of giggles. “You didn’t have to say dare, you know!”
“And you didn’t have to give me food poisoning!”
Rarity gave a final “Hmph” before turning back to the rest of the crowd. In the last half hour or so, four of the seven ponies in the room had taken their turns in the game, and it had only taken that long because it took twenty minutes to calm Applejack down. Then again, admitting you had to use preservatives in last year’s apple strudels, and still sold them as “all natural,” was more than enough to make the proud workhorse break down completely.
Celestia’s mouth was in a wide grin, despite having never been picked once so far the whole game. So far, this “Truth or Dare” had turned out to be one of the most hilarious things she had seen in a long time. The fact that such a game had eluded the princess for so long was slightly frustrating, but then again, even if she had known about its existence, there would be few to no chances to actually play it amongst the stuffy aristocracy she had unwisely surrounded herself with. The only thing that could make it better was actually being picked.
Once Rarity and Rainbow Dash had finished their little spat, the white Unicorn turned her attention to her next target. “Twilight. Truth or Dare?”
----------
By the time Luna reached her designated balcony, the first few drops of rain had begun to fall. The mass of clouds blocking her line of sight with the celestial objects under her control made things slightly more troublesome than before, but after a few tries, the sky was sufficiently dark enough to tell the moon was in place.
As much as she didn’t want to think about it, her thoughts inevitably returned to her sister and the other fillies. No doubt they’re having the time of their lives while I have to endure another long night of work. Why does Celestia have to get all the breaks in life? I...
It was right about then that Luna noticed something was wrong with the clouds. It didn’t take long to find one of the pegasi to interrogate. “Excuse me. May I ask who is in charge here?”
The mare froze in mid-air, her wings barely generating enough force to keep her from plummeting to the ground. “Um….that would be me, your Highness. Rainy Days at your service.”
Luna eyed the ever-growing mass of clouds. “Just how large was your overflow? You have enough rain here to flood half of Canterlot!”
“We’re draining as much as we can on the way here! And that’s not to mention the lightning clouds!”
Luna’s fur stood on end as she heard the word. Lightning. “Why did you not tell us this was a THUNDER STORM?!”
Rainy Days hovered back a short way, hoping to create some distance between herself and the rather peeved princess. “B-But that shouldn’t be a problem! Canterlot is already magically shielded against lightning, right?”
“BUT YOU CAN STILL HEAR IT!” Luna’s horn lit up with a teleportations spell, but it only sputtered and died. Oh no, that blasted enchantment is still around Celestia’s room! Nopony but herself can teleport inside there! I’m going to have to run!
----------
“And that’s how Spike takes his baths.”
Just about everypony in the room felt like having an encore presentation of Rarity’s gut movement. Even Celestia, a princess that had seen many a dragon take a bath - usually after she had tossed them into a lake - cringed at Twilight’s sordid tale. The only pony unaffected was Fluttershy; she actually seemed more enthralled than anything else. “Wow, it must be a lot of work getting between all those scales.”
“It all depends on how fussy my little assistant is. Usually though, all I have to do is tell him it’s for Rarity, and he’ll go along with just about anything.”
Rarity squealed in embarrassment, her face turning beet red under her coat. The other ponies shared knowing glances with each other, save for the rather confused Celestia. “I’m afraid I don’t follow, Twilight. What’s all this about Spike and your friend?”
Twilight blushed a little and scratched the back of her head. “Oh, you know, just a little childhood crush. I mean, I’m sure even you had a few of those in your time.”
Celestia rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’ve had my share of lovers over my lifetime.” That’s if zero counts as a share, anyway. “But getting back on topic, I believe it is your turn.”
Twilight grinned. At last, her diabolical scheme was coming to fruition. She turned her attention to the pinkest pony she knew. With a grand wave of her hoof, she exclaimed, “Pinkie Pie, truth or dare?!”
Pinkie was silent for a few seconds before shaking her head sadly. “Sorry Twilight, but I’m not playing.”
Twilight’s elation melted into a small puddle of disappointment. “Wh-What?”
Pinkie closed her eyes and rose onto her hind legs. “I’m your royal chap-a-roni! Princess Luna herself has trusted me with taking care of all of you, and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do! I will keep an eye on the game and make sure your have plenty of fun and sweets, but I cannot actually play, no matter how much you or I may want me to!”
The purple Unicorn was utterly dumbfounded. Pinkie was not only behaving like a grown pony for once, she was denying her from the truth! “But...I wanted to…”
Pinkie sat back down and raised a hoof skywards. “Sorry, Twi, but rules are rules. You have to pick somepony else.”
Her scheme ruined, Twilight groaned and turned back to the others. “All right. Princess Celestia, truth or dare?”
The princess couldn’t help but yelp for joy. “YES YES YES! I’ve been waiting all day for my turn! This is going to be so wonder-”
Twilight glanced at the clock. “Um…Princess. We’re running out of time.”
“Oh…right. Um…truth!”
Twilight froze up. She had picked the princess just to make her happy, but she hadn’t thought through what she would ask. She didn’t want to humiliate her like her friends were doing to each other, and she certainly didn’t want to cause the princess any harm. Then she hit upon an easy question. “Princess Celestia…who is your best friend?”
Celestia scoffed. “Really, Twilight? Everypony knows my sister Luna is my best friend.”
Rainbow Dash facehoofed at Twilight’s simplistic question, as well as Celestia’s equally simple answer. “Oh, puh-leeze! The whole ‘my sister is my best friend’ thing? You must have had more friends than that!”
The princess could feel the fur on her neck starting to stiffen. “Um…Of course I’ve had friends. I’ve had a lot over the years.”
“Really?” asked Rarity. “If you don’t mind, can you tell us more?”
Celestia could feel herself starting to sweat. She hunched herself a bit closer to the ground, desperate to not let the other ponies see how obviously she was lying. “Well…there was that…one mare from six hundred years ago…”
“Are they famous?” asked Fluttershy. “I mean, you must have known everypony that has ever done anything to make Equestria a better place.”
“And ya mus’ have all sorts a’ stories ta tell!” Applejack leaned her hat back enough to see clearly and walked closer to the princess.
Celestia’s eyes began to quiver. “Oh…I have stories. Plenty of stories. But…I don’t…I mean…” She gave a cautious glance to Twilight. The Unicorn looked absolutely horrified at the inquisition she had unleashed. “Twilight…help me.”
*KRA-KOW!*
The entire room shuddered from the sound of a gathering of fillies screaming in terror. Outside, the storm began to roar with full force, as flashes of thunder and arcs of lightning crashed along the sky. Even worse, from the palace’s high vantage point, the crashes and sounds were far louder and fiercer than in Ponyville. The filly parts of each ponies’ mind took the opportunity to seize control, sending the friends running into each other as part of a protective group hug. Even Pinkie joined in, her large limbs practically crushing the other ponies in the huddle.
Finally, after a few seconds, the thunder abated, leaving only the sound of rain water trickling down the window pane. The ponies sheepishly pulled away, giving each other confused grins. “W-Well, that was…intense,” said Rainbow.
“Even in Canterlot, those Pegasus ponies sure do get carried away sometimes,” said Rarity.
“No way y’all gettin’ home tonight,” said Applejack. “Ah reckon we should try ta find some place ta stay the night. No sense getting’ all rained on-”
A sudden pain raced through each of the ponies, save Pinkie. The fillies felt every muscle in their body loosening and shuddering, as if they were being yanked at in a taffy puller machine. This was followed by a massive white light that engulfed the entire room, accompanied by almost electrical shocks running up each pony’s spine. Finally, the light faded away, revealing a ponypile of five full-grown mares.
It took a few minutes to fight out of the maze of limbs, tales, and necks, but the six friends were facing each other as normal ponies again soon enough. This was accompanied by a standard group hug session, along with the usual coos and shouts for joy and happiness.
And then Luna bucked the door open. There was a manic glint in her eyes as she approached the others, her wings extended. “Celestia. Where is Celestia?”
A few moans and whines from the bed answered that question. Underneath the covers sat a big, shaking lump. Another blast of thunder blared from the sky, eliciting even more cries from the mysterious bed creature. It didn’t long for everypony to realize what had happened to Celestia.
Twilight telekinetically pulled back the covers, revealing the sobbing princess underneath. Celestia’s eyes were covered with her forelegs, while her hind legs were tucked underneath her barrel. The six normal ponies started to approach, mouthing concerns and offers to help, when Luna teleported in front of them. “Please…just leave this room.”
“Wh-What happened to the princess?” asked Fluttershy.
Luna looked down at the filly. Behind her hooves, the princess’ eyes looked up at her sister, silently pleading her not to tell the truth. Alas, there seemed to be no way out of it now. “She…When she was a filly, she was afraid of thunder,” Luna explained. “And I mean, very afraid of it. Back before there were Pegasus ponies, when storms were wild and spontaneous, she would spend every waking moment underneath a rock or in a cave somewhere, just cowering in a corner until it was all over.”
Everypony let out a collective gasp, save for the clearly upset Celestia. Twilight was the first to actually speak up on her monarch’s behalf. “Then why do you want us to leave?”
Luna hesitated before speaking. “I cannot tell you. I just…want you to trust me for the time being.”
The ponies gave each other confused looks as they quietly debated whether or not to go along with Luna’s orders. Eventually, the six slowly shuffled out of the room, giving the princess one last glance before following the guards to some quarters for the night. Once they were all gone, Luna closed and locked the door before turning back to her still-shivering sister. “I’m sorry. Rainy Days said it was just a rainstorm. She never mentioned thunder.”
Celestia sniffed. “Then why did you tell them all that? They probably think I’m a joke now.”
“Because you’re scared of some loud noises?” Luna laughed. “Everypony is like that when they’re young. You’ll be all grown out of it once you’re back to normal.”
Celestia didn’t respond; in fact, she could herself dozing off. The blast from the Elements, her rampaging around the grounds, and the fountain of tears she had just let out all seemed to catch up with her at once. Sensing this, Luna gave the princess a quick nuzzle before heading back to work. Once she was sure they were all gone, the princess threw her head into the pillow and started to fall asleep.
If anything, I learned one thing from today. “Truth or Dare” is a dumb game.
----------
Celestia was feeling far less energetic this morning. In fact, she was starting to feel like her old self on a bad day.
For a brief moment, this had awakened some hope that the spell was wearing off, and she would soon be back on the throne and ruling her fair country yet again. That little bit of joy vanished as she took a closer look at her current malaise. It was the same feeling she had endured for a thousand years before, the sense that no matter how many ponies she had surrounding her, and no matter how much her occasional personal students adored her, she was well and truly alone in Equestria.
The princess had sequestered herself on her windowsill, her body wrapped in a tight furry ball as she looked over what bits of the palace and city she could see. Beneath the palace’s marbled archways, Canterlot was bustling with activity. Celestia could see some of the fear and resentment towards Luna hanging on the faces of the ponies, but having two sunrises in a row under the no-doubt horrible tyrant that had replaced their beloved sun princess was lightening their spirits a tad.
In her own mind, however, she could already feel herself slipping back into the same melancholy from when this terrible experience first began. Last night had gone from her best chance at having somepony to interact with outside of any rigid social or educational expectations, to the still-a-filly realizing just how alone she had been her entire life. Not to mention how she made a complete fool of herself with the lightning storm. It all served to make the princess more isolated than ever.
A gentle knock on the door was enough to jar Celestia out of her musing. In a soft voice she muttered, “Enter.”
The princess could hear the door open behind her, the hinges letting a squeak so quiet only her trained ears could pick up on it. The accompanying hoofsteps were distinctively elegant enough to betray her visitor’s identity. “Good morning, Luna.”
Luna waited until the doors were closed before addressing her sister. “Good morning, sister. Are you feeling any better?”
Celestia let out a heavy, labored sigh. “Not really.”
The Princess of the Night was understandably unconvinced of her sister’s sincerity. She took a few small, cautionary steps towards the filly, being careful not to startle or agitate her more. “If this is about the storm, I can promise you there’s nothing to worry about. All six completely understand what was going through your mind when it happened.” She cocked her head slightly. “Or maybe there’s something else going on?”
Celestia was quiet for a few seconds, contemplating whether or not to tell Luna everything that had happened last night. The desire to protect oneself from any further embarrassment was soon outweighed by the need to get all this off her chest. She raised her head from her hooves and looked Luna straight in the face, the filly’s eyes showcasing her inner turmoil. “Last night, the six of us were playing this game, and…one of the ponies asked me to name any friends I’ve had over the millennia.”
“Well, that should have been easy,” Luna shrugged. “The entire country worships the ground you walk on, and you’ve had more than enough students over the millennia to have thousands of connections wandering around at any given time. It must have taken until the spell wore off to name them-”
Luna fell silent as she finally recognized the look on Celestia’s face. It was the same withdrawn, depressed mask she had worn so many times in the past. “I…suppose I was mistaken?”
Celestia curled back into her near-fetal position. “My students were just that: students. As far as they were concerned, I was always in the right, always the master at all things pony related. Even after they stopped being my students, their entire careers were marked by a foalish belief that I would do something horrible to them if they somehow disappointed me.”
Luna shook her head. “No, that’s not it. Remember Star Swirl the Bearded? He may have technically been my pupil, but he was always so much closer to you. You’re the one that convinced him to put bells on his clothes, remember?”
Celestia jumped to the floor, making sure Luna couldn’t see her face. “He was also the one that told me I could use the Elements to free you from Nightmare Moon. After what happened, he was so afraid I’d come after him that he ran as far from Canterlot as he could.”
The filly braved a glance at her sister’s face, and saw everything she was afraid she would see. Luna was stone silent, her eyes quivering slightly as she learned of her first (and to date, only) student’s fate. “I…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was trying not to hurt you further.”
“It-It’s all right,” Luna gasped. “But…what about Twilight Sparkle? She certainly seems more friendly with you than most other ponies I’ve seen.”
“She also got her entire town involved in a brawl because she was afraid I’d punish her for turning in a minor assignment late,” Celestia muttered. “The last time somepony misused the Want-It-Need-It Spell so flagrantly, it ended with an entire town destroyed and hundreds of homeless ponies. Not to mention how she tried to cover up Ponyville’s Parasprite infestation. Relief could have been given much sooner if she hadn’t been so certain I would hurl her into the sun because she had trouble fighting something nopony had ever seen before.”
Luna sighed. “Celestia…I know what you want, but I can’t let you leave the palace in your condition. Twilight’s friends have their own jobs and lives to go back to, and Twilight herself must keep working on finding a way to make everything normal again. I myself have a full day today…”
“How about the party tonight? Are you still planning to go?”
“Of course I am!” Luna snapped. Celestia’s eyes quickly flattened from her sister’s outburst, something that the blue alicorn picked up on almost immediately. Sighing, she resumed in a more quiet speaking voice. “They may be petty or insufferable at times, but they are still our subjects, and I will not disrespect them by excusing myself from spending any time with them.”
“Then…I’m just going to have to spend all my time in my room?” Celestia muttered.
The atmosphere was tense as Luna mentally weighed her options. The garden is out of the question today. Everypony will be busy setting up for the party. And the grounds will be crawling with other ponies, none of whom can see the princess in this state. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to stay in this wing of the palace today. There’s just too much activity everywhere else.”
Celestia sulked and kicked her forelegs against the ground at the news, but otherwise seemed to take it just fine. “A-All right. If it’s just for today, I mean…”
Celestia felt something large and feathery crawl across her back. Looking up, she saw a large, dark blue wing draped across the entire back half of her body. The wing’s owner, Princess Luna, gave the filly a warm smile. “It’s going to be all right, little sister. Once the party’s over, I’ll see what I can do. But in the meantime, please just sit tight.”
The sun princess wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Luna’s reassurances didn’t solve any of her problems. They didn’t make her an adult again, or get her any friends, or erase the memory of last night’s disaster from her mind. But at the same time, there was something reassuringly calm about the way she spoke, and not to mention the way her wing carefully bent over the filly’s body in the most loving way possible. It was the same gesture Celestia had shown Luna a thousand years before, and even a few times after her sister’s return.
It didn’t’ solve anything, but it was nice to have a sister that, at least on occasion, you could talk to.
----------
Ruby was already at the palace’s conference hall by the time Luna arrived, fresh from her latest business with her filly of a sister. Also waiting for them was a grey Earth pony, wearing a pink bow tie and with a treble cleft for a cutie mark. To Ruby’s side was a small, yellow Pegasus filly, roughly the same age as Celestia right now. The filly was seated on the floor, apparently writing down notes for the homework assignment this trip entailed.
Both adult mares bowed upon seeing the princess enter. “My apologies, ladies,” Luna stammered as she made her way closer. “There was some other pressing business I had to attend to, and I fear I lost track of the time.”
“It’s no problem at all, your Majesty,” said the Earth pony.
Both ponies rose to their hooves, ready to begin official business. The filly, meanwhile, was too busy scribbling stuff down to even notice Luna’s presence. The princess took one look at the child, cocked an eyebrow, and turned to the foal’s mother. “I take it this is the daughter you spoke of yesterday, Miss Dream.”
Ruby’s eyes shrank back into her skull as she looked down at the little Pegasus besides her. “Lofty! Why aren’t you bowing?”
The filly jumped at the sound of her name, as well as her mother’s harsh, reprimanding tone. Her eyes grew to the size of dinner platters as she recognized Princess Luna. She quickly threw herself into kneeling position; so quickly, in fact, that she conked the bottom of her head against the floor. “Oh, um…hello, your Highness!”
“I promise this won’t happen again!” Ruby stammered. “She’s still young! She’ll learn!”
Luna facehoofed yet again; any more, and her hoof would be permanently imprinted on her face. “Miss Dream, how much court etiquette your daughter may or may not know does not matter right now. All I care about is…”
“Excuse me, your Highness, but I do not have a lot of time,” said the Earth pony.
Luby and Ruby returned their attention to their actual guest. Lofty, meanwhile, slowly knelt down to her notepad and kept scribbling things down. The Earth pony fidgeted uncomfortably, even taking a few chances to eye the door in case a certain…intruder happened to stop by. “After reviewing the details of our contract, I am afraid the Canterlot Royal Orchestra must decline your gracious invitation to perform tonight.”
Luna groaned. “Is there anything we can do to change your mind, Miss…?”
“Octavia. And I’m sorry, but the situation has changed greatly in the last few hours.”
Ruby raised an eyebrow. “Wait, this isn’t this about what happened at the Gala? But…that was why you refused the first time. The only reason we had to come back was because the band we had was struck with Rockin’ Pneumonia and had to be quarantined.”
Octavia scoffed. “The Gala was an unfortunate event, but we have mostly gotten over that. And I can assure you, everypony in our little group is quite healthy. No, we’ve heard a certain pony is staying at the palace. Quite frankly, we would rather not-”
“OCTY!”
The color drained from Octavia’s coat as a bounding mass of pink energy slammed into her body. The guards immediately followed her into the room, desperate to keep the pony from harming Luna’s best chance at scoring some of the best musicians in Canterlot for tonight’s party. The princess’ horn glowed, and all four ponies involved in the scuffle were hoisted into the air and drawn apart before being set back down. “May somepony please explain what just happened?”
Octavia shot up a hoof, her eyes blood-shot with terror. “That’s her! She’s the one!”
Pinkie stared at the hoof for a second before giggling. “Oh Octy, you’re so silly!”
“Do you…know each other?” asked Ruby.
Octavia set her hoof down and let out a labored sigh. “She’s my cousin. Unfortunately.”
“I would think having a hero in your family would be something to be celebrated,” said Luna. “After all, she has saved Equestria twice.”
Octavia’s eyes narrowed into a death glare. “She’s also responsible for ruining my Gala performance, as well as over a dozen other performances in my life. I will not perform while she is here.”
Pinkie’s giggling slowly stopped, only to be replaced by something far worse: sorrow. “You…You mean you don’t like me?”
The room was terse for a few moments, everypony afraid of what Pinkie would do next. The pony’s mane and coat darkened, even as her eyes began to water. Octavia’s eyes softened a little, even as the rest of her remained as confrontational as ever. “I never said that. I just mean, you keep trying to ‘help’ me out and just make things worse. I can’t have you here for something this important.”
Surprisingly enough, that was all it took for Pinkie to immediately pop right back to her old energetic, happy-go-lucky self. “Okie-dokie! Jeez, I was scared for a second there! Well, I gotta start getting ready to go back to Ponyville! Catch ya later, cuz!” And with that, Pinkie bounded off to party elsewhere.
All five ponies (plus filly) just stood there, too stunned by the mood swing to really do anything. The guards were the first to leave, slowly making their way back to their posts. Once they were gone, Octavia slowly turned back to Princess Luna. “So, she’s not staying tonight?”
“As far as I can tell, no,” said Luna.
“Then the situation appears to have changed. You may consider us ready and willing to play.”
“Of course,” said Luna. “Just remember, this is a slow, formal occasion, so you should keep to the standard pieces whenever possible. And in the future, Miss Octavia...” She leaned in so close to Octavia the Earth Pony could smell her breath. “Do not upset your cousin in front of me.”
“D-Duly noted, your Highness,” Octavia stammered. “I...do suppose I should give the news to the rest of the orchestra. We shall see you tonight!” And with that, the grey pony was galloping out of the conference room as fast as she possibly could.
“…We were almost without a band because a few ponies don’t like somepony else?” said Ruby.
“Because one pony didn’t like somepony else,” Luna corrected. “Still, everything appears to be in order right now. And now if you’ll excuse me, I have a trip to prepare for.” Luna’s horn gave off a bright light, a trail of which broke away from the horn’s aura and transformed into a small dark blue ball. The transparent orb then shattered, dropping a rather large scroll. “I want these tasks finished by the time I get back. We still have a lot of work to do and even less time today to get it done.”
Ruby gulped as she scanned the list. Just about everything on it either bordered on the ludicrous or seemed downright impossible considering the sheer wealth of other tasks she still had to perform. “U-Understood, your Majesty.”
Satisfied that her orders would be followed, Luna then turned her attention back to the filly. Lofty was still scribbling away on the notepad, but this time the princess had time to actually see what she was putting down. It wasn’t notes like she had hoped; rather, it was a ludicrous drawing of a winged Unicorn yelling at a helpless pony. “…And as for you, child, I hope you will actually apply your time here more wisely. It’s not every day a filly is allowed to examine the inner workings of the palace.”
Lofty dropped the pencil from her mouth and slowly raised her head, stopping when she was eye-to-eye with the princess. “I understand, princess.”
Luna nodded and flashed a smile. All it did was make the filly dart behind her mother’s legs. The sight was more than a little upsetting as far as Luna was concerned, but alas, there was still so much more she needed to get done…
----------
Octavia had just turned the corner from the conference room when she heard a voice behind her. “Excuse me, can we talk?”
The Earth pony stopped and turned about, stopping when she saw the purple Unicorn staring at her. It didn’t take long to peg who this was. “You must be Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s personal protégé.”
Twilight gleamed with pride. It always warmed her heart to have others at least recognize her. “Why, yes. How did you know who I am?”
“You were with my cousin when she destroyed the Gala.” Octavia’s teeth were clenched together so tightly they threatened to snap each other to pieces.
Twilight took a step back and chuckled nervously. She had missed most of the carnage thanks to Celestia’s thankless job of greeting every guest, but she had seen enough of the damage to know that whatever happened in that ballroom, it was more than a little messy. “Well…to be fair, it was more of a group effort than anything else.”
“I do not mean to be rude, Miss Sparkle, but I have a lot I still need to do. So if you will excuse me, I think I shall be departing.”
Octavia started to turn, only to find herself facing the same Unicorn again. The graceful, society-conscious mare immediately leaped back ten feet while giving the shrillest scream in the history of ponydom. Twilight, for her part, seemed unaffected by this. “Miss Octavia, I need your help. I was with Pinkie when she stumbled across you and Princess Luna talking.”
Octavia lay on her back, her lower lip half chewed by its upper counterpart. “Wh-What does that have to do with anything?”
Twilight gave as cheerful a smile as she could. “I need to know some things about Pinkie…”
----------
Luna’s chariot landed with a soft thud and a few quiet squeaks of the wheels to a dead-silent audience. The ponies gathered outside the hospital gasped in surprise before falling on all fours, quaking in fear of the night princess and her no doubt horrible plans for them all. Luna briefly flirted with the idea of just ordering the pair of pegasi to just fly her back to the palace, but alas, royal duty and all that nonsense persevered.
The princess slowly stepped out of the chariot and surveyed the building itself. From what she could gather, the Canterlot Medical Center was one of the oldest hospitals still operating in Equestria. The general belief was that the structure had been built by special order from Celestia herself in response to a Trots epidemic over two hundred years ago, and as a result the place was considered historically important to the ponies of Canterlot. Unlike the common ponies, however, Luna had actually perused the old building permits and records involved, and there was nothing special about it. Some ponies saw that Trottingham was building a hospital, decided the superior ponies of Canterlot deserved an even better one, and borrowed money from the royal treasury to build it.
In any case, the building was a far cry from the original. Like nearly all of Canterlot, the structure itself had been radically altered over the years, both to repair natural degradation and to suit the changing nature of medicine in Equestria. In between the freshly-kept shrubs and gardens outside the entrance, the sticky white paint clinging to the walls, and the giant neon sign the board of directors had obviously spent more than sixty percent of the facility’s budget on running, it was certainly an attractive sight.
The same could not be seen for Luna’s welcoming committee. Luna had seen ponies huddle and cower countless times, but the last two days had certainly done their best to drain her completely. Sure, she had won a small victory just by being here, but would it be worth all the extra humiliation?
Her eyes finally caught somepony that at least looked a little official; a middle-aged mare in a nurse’s uniform was huddled in front of the hospital doors, apparently in a feeble attempt to save the ponies inside from certain doom. Luna stepped towards the cowering pony and offered one of her forehooves, as was customary in the Traditional Royal Canterlot Greeting.
“THY PRINCESS-” Luna quickly caught herself, lowering her voice and assuming more modern language. “Your Princess has arrived.”
“N-N-Nurse Ward, your Highness,” the pony stammered. “I-I-I was sent here to e-e-escort you.”
“Would it not be easier to do so if you were standing?”
Ward, unable to comprehend whether or not Luna was joking, slowly rose to her hooves. “I…I have been asked to show you the improvements we have made to the hospital. If it’s all right with your Highness, that is.”
Luna nodded. “That is why I’m here today. Shall we begin?”
----------
Octavia regarded her coffee mug with much concern. Talking about her relationship with Pinkie wasn’t exactly her favorite thing in Equestria to do. After giving the party pony free reign during their Gala performance, her friends and bandmates had all turned to her for an explanation. It was something she really couldn’t give because, frankly, there was no pony like Pinkie Pie in all of Equestria. For that matter, the entire family (the “Pie Clan,” as they called themselves) was amongst the most bizarre ponies to ever work the fields. Rock farming was far from the most lucrative occupation; in fact, it was an idea born more from lunacy than anything else.
And yet here she was, speaking with one of the most powerful Unicorns in Equestria, talking about the very subject. She really did not like this at all.
Twilight levitated the mug to her mouth, took a quick sip, and gently set it back down. “Now, Pinkie said you were her cousin?”
“Yes, unfortunately,” Octavia murmured. “In exact terms, I am her mother’s sister’s daughter. And if I may be so bold as to ask, what is your sudden interest in my family tree?”
Twilight shifted about nervously. “Well, I’ve been a little curious about Pinkie lately. She’s been acting…kind of weird the last few days, and…”
“She has been ‘kind of weird’ the last few years.” Octavia raised her mug with both hooves and took a rather large, slurping sip. Twilight couldn’t tell if it was an honest slip-up giving the stressful situation, or that the classy pony really was just a bad drinker. “Then again, the entire Pie family is strange. Their…dedication to farming rocks is simultaneously endearing and rather uncouth.”
Twilight could tell she needed to lead Octavia to her point. “What I mean is, do you know anything about the Pie family history?”
Octavia stared at the ceiling thoughtfully before continuing. “Well, when my aunt decided to marry into the family, I know the rest of the family decided it would be best to look into this farmer’s past. It was a fairly routine process to make sure nopony married anypony with skeletons in their closet.”
“Ah, I understand.” Stupid custom, but I understand...
Octavia took a deep breath. “I was a small foal at the time, so I hope you understand if this information is strictly secondhoof. I do remember there was a fight of some sort between Pinkie’s mother and my own a short time after Pinkie was born. Then again, I was more interested with blocks and sucking on my own tail than anything that adults concerned themselves with.”
Twilight giggled at the mental imagery. Octavia smiled out the side of her mouth, but otherwise kept her cool and class demeanor. “From what I understand, the Pie family spontaneously sprung into existence about five hundred years ago, after some kind of political dispute in Canterlot. They left the city almost immediately and branched off into all sorts of bizarre professions, from professional mud slingers to tattoo scrubbers.”
Twilight had to cock an eye at the last occupation. “What’s a tattoo scrubber?”
“It is best that you don’t know. Believe me, I wish I still did not.”
“But, the Pies had to come from somewhere. Do you know anything about what they were doing in Canterlot before they went into, for lack of a better word, exile?”
Octavia shook her head. “No. My parents never spoke to Aunt Sue again, and considered the whole matter dropped.” Her gaze suddenly drifted off thoughtfully. “Then again…there was one thing I always found rather strange.”
Little glistening stars shined in Twilight’s eyes. She might finally be getting somewhere. “Really?”
Octavia shuffled slightly as she began organizing her thoughts. “It was several years ago, during Hearth’s Warming Eve. I was visiting the Pies for the holidays, if only to keep an eye on what was going on in that dank household. I didn’t know that Pinkie had earned her cutie mark that year, or that she was now obsessed with making the normally dour celebrations more lively and enjoyable than in prior years. Instead of the quiet ponies I had encountered years past, everypony there was lively and energetic. There was even actual fruit punch and cake, not just stale bread and hot water.”
“…Stale bread and hot water?” Twilight mouthed.
“Getting back on track,” Octavia continued, “Pinkie was surprisingly happy to see me. Getting her cutie mark had hardwired her brain into a permanent state of euphoria, it seemed. She was also…curious about Canterlot. She was so curious about our nation’s capital that she barraged me with questions the whole day. She even managed to namedrop a few places, like the Nightlight Observatory, the Firefly Pegasus Academy, even The Fountain With Celestia’s Statue.”
“So what’s so weird about that?” asked Twilight. “She could have just looked those up in a picture book.”
“Not one place,” Octavia said. “She asked me about the Heartstrings Royal Opera House. She really wanted to know how the old building was holding up, whether anypony was still performing for Princess Celestia there, if I had any dreams of holding a concert there, and things similar to that. I thought she was just interested in music, so I mentioned it to Uncle Clyde. Then…”
Octavia wiped at her eyes. The next bit was going to hurt to remember. “The entire celebration just stopped. Clyde asked me to leave, saying it was a Pie Clan matter and didn’t concern an outsider like myself. I was understandably upset at this, you see, and I started to leave the farm and return to my hotel in Ponyville. But then I heard the shouting. They were furious with Pinkie for some reason.”
“…Octavia, why would they be angry with Pinkie?” asked Twilight.
The gray pony took another massive gulp, the caffeine being the only thing keeping her going by this point. “The Heartstrings Royal Opera House burnt to the ground over five hundred years ago. It was only open for about five years before then. Virtually no pictures of records of its existence are still available, and the ones that are would have a difficult time getting out of Canterlot.” Another slurp. “That’s what they were yelling about. They were angry about Pinkie let out some secret of theirs, especially to somepony from Canterlot itself. They…said something about Princess Celestia never finding out, and mentioned something about a kuchen or whatever.”
Twilight spat out her mouthful of joe, splattering the floor in a cascade of dark brown liquid. Octavia jumped back to avoid getting anything on her coat before very slowly offering Twilight a few tissues to clean up. The Unicorn gratefully pulled the scraps of paper to the floor with her telekinesis and began wiping away, even as the pieces were starting to fall into place. If Octavia’s telling the truth, it means it’s not just Pinkie that knows who Kuchen is. No wonder she was dodging the question back at the donut shop. If her own family was willing to blow their tops over a few innocent remarks about an opera house…
By now, the pony was just rubbing the clean floor with soiled rags. Satisfied that the mess had been properly handled, she turned back to Octavia. “Well…thank you for your time. I understand you have a concert to prepare for.”
“Yes, I do.” Octavia scooted out of her set, elegantly set her hooves upon the tiled floor, and walked up to Twilight. “It has been…nice to speak with one such as you. There are far too many irritable, frankly insane ponies in my life these days.”
Her lips dropped into a sour frown. “Please, tell Pinkie I’m sorry if I upset her. I do like her, despite her eccentricities, but she has made a mess of things too many times for me to perform at my best when she’s around.”
Before Twilight could say anything, Octavia was well out of the door, galloping away to prepare for tonight’s party. The Unicorn, meanwhile, was left to stare at her near-empty mug. I’m sorry, Pinkie. But if you know something that can help Princess Celestia…I’ll have to find out the truth.
TO BE CONTINUED…
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Nine
The hospital’s interior was a stark contrast to the drab, almost lifeless exterior. Every square inch had been washed, sterilized, and then re-dirtied just so it could be washed even finer the next time. All the furniture in the front lobby was made of the finest woods and metals that government funding could afford, excusing the bits the administration was scrapping off the top to buy their way into high society. And then there were the ponies, no doubt some of the finest medical workers in Equestria when they weren’t cowering in fear from their nighttime master’s visit.
It didn’t take long to reach the Children’s Wing. Sure enough, the entire area had apparently been recently renovated, with a few walls still sticky from the wet paint. The atmosphere was also far more relaxed compared to the suffocating fear of the front entrance and lobby, and Luna and Nurse Ward were able to wander the halls far more freely and comfortably than before.
“As you can see, we have completely redone the entire wing,” said the nurse. She motioned a hoof towards one of the nearby waiting benches, all of them painted a dull green. “These seats alone cost over five hundred bits apiece. We’re still waiting for them to be painted.”
“Understandable,” Luna muttered.
The two continued onwards, hooves clopping down the tiled halls of the hospital, until they reached an unoccupied examination room. Like everything else in the ward so far, the entire interior had been freshly washed, waxed, and refilled with the latest in medical equipment. Luna was especially proud of the sight of a glass jar full of lollipops.
“Everything in this room has been only recently purchased and installed,” continued Nurse Ward. She motioned towards the nearby examination table, a flat piece of sterilized steel laying atop four sturdy metal legs. “I mean, can you imagine how much something like this cost?”
Luna eyed the table, but didn’t find it all that impressive. Then again, after a jar full of suckers, anything would pale in comparison. The princess slowly turned to the nurse, a look of resigned frustration on her face. “Miss Ward, I’m afraid I’m at a loss here. Your letter asked me to come and perform an inspection of your remodeling work, but so far nothing seems particularly revolutionary. Is there anything else?”
Nurse Ward sighed. “Well…we did want you to visit some of the patients here today. That is, we were…”
Luna groaned, mentally facehoofing herself for her stupidity. “You didn’t want me originally, did you? You wanted Princess Celestia.”
Ward took a few steps back, nodding nervously. “Um…yes?”
“Then why did your letter specifically address my office?”
“Well…when everypony learned that Princess Celestia had disappeared, well, the children were so terrified that something terrible had happened. You seemed like the perfect pony to ask. That, and…we wanted a princess to come here for so long.”
Now Luna was officially confused. “Wait…you mean my sister never responded to your requests? But, this would appear to be the perfect activity for someone such as her.”
Nurse Ward motioned towards a large set of double doors at the end of the hall, apparently some kind of assembly room. The two ponies began walking down the hall, continuing their conversation as they did so. “We sent her so many letters over the years, but we never heard a thing back. Then again, I’m sure Princess Celestia is always so busy.”
Luna smiled. “That she is. Do you remember when you last sent a request? I might be able to tell you why she cancelled.”
Nurse Ward was thoughtful for a few moments before answering. “A little less than two weeks ago, I believe.”
Luna stopped dead in her tracks. She knew what had happened two weeks ago: her sister had pasted dried lumps of oatmeal to the night princess’ face, painted them blue, and convinced her that she had a fatal disease. Celestia was busy, certainly, but she was apparently not too busy to spend time tormenting her younger sister. The princess visibly grit her teeth as the thoughts spilled through her mind. “She was working on a pet project of hers. That is all I know.”
The two stopped short of the door, the nurse pony looking more than a little nervous. “A-Are you ready, your Highness?”
Luna’s face was cold and serene, not betraying the growing fear and concern welling up inside of her. “I suppose this is my first audience in this capacity. Care to fill me in on what is going on?”
Nurse Ward put a hoof to her chin, trying to think how to best inform the princess. “Well, we’ve never had a princess come here before, but I think we have everything set just right. The children are already waiting.”
“Ah, the inspection was just a diversion to buy time, then?”
Nurse Ward nodded nervously, secretly afraid she was about to find herself on the far side of the moon. “Well, yes. It also gave the press agents enough time to interview a few of the children, just to get an early view on how they see you and all.”
“And…what were the results of that interview?”
The Nurse shrugged. “About half the children they asked said you were going to gobble them up, and the other half were sad you weren’t Princess Celestia.”
Luna groaned and buried her face in one hoof. That is not what I needed right now. “Tell me, what am I supposed to do?”
“Like I said, you are the first princess we’ve had visits, so we had no real precedent to follow. So we set things up like when Sapphire Shores visited: you speak to the children for a while, get to know them better, then read from a selection of our donated books.”
“So this is actually a glorified storytime hour?”
Nurse Ward shivered slightly, turning her eyes away from the princess. “Ergh….let’s begin!”
And with that, the pony pushed her hooves against both doors, revealing dozens of tiny little eyes, all of them focused on the blue alicorn. There were ponies from all three races, although, like most things in Canterlot, a majority were unicorns. Standing next to the doors were a collection of reporters from the various newspapers, from the Equestria Daily to the Manehatten Times, and even a reporter from the Hoofington Post.
Nurse Ward cleared her throat before continuing. “My little ponies, we have a very special guest today. Please give a warm round of applause to…Princess Luna!”
The room exploded into a cacophony of half-hearted stomps, save for the ponies who couldn’t use their legs or were too weak to make any real noise. Luna gave a nervous smile and waved back. This was a mistake…
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Twilight’s friends gathered one by one by the palace gates.
Applejack, being the most accustomed to waking up well before sunrise, was the first to be ready to go. It didn’t take long for Rainbow Dash to join her, eager to get away before Twilight got any crazy ideas about turning them into fillies again or the like. Fluttershy was next, albeit more out of a desire to get back to her animal charges than anything else. After a few minutes, Pinkie bounded up to the gates, a doggy bag of sugary treats and party decorations wrapped in her mouth.
Rarity and Spike were the last to join the group. The former was her usual fabulous self, her mane and coat’s natural shininess augmented by the royal shampoos and perfumes only the princesses and guests at Canterlot Castle were entitled to receive. The later was still scarfing down some of the old gemstones he had left behind when he and Twilight first went to Ponyville. He had tried offering them to his beloved first, but for some reason, Rarity didn’t find chipped, cracked opals to be worth much.
“It’s about time you got here!” Rainbow grumped. “Where’s Twilight?”
Spike shrugged between gems. “Last I saw her, she said she was going out to talk to somepony. Something about maybe being able to help the princess.”
“Do you really think we should be leaving?” asked Fluttershy. “I mean, the princess is still in trouble.”
Applejack gave the pegasus a reassuring pat on the back. “Don’t ya’ll worry ’bout nothin’. We’ve got ta brightest unicorn in Equestria on ta case. And besides, if Twilight needs our help, we’re all just ah hoot and ah holler away!”
“GIRLS!”
As if following some cosmic cue, Twilight came galloping up to the gate. She barely managed to slow to a walk before slamming into her waiting friends. The others watched in shock as the purple unicorn panted and wheezed, her mane and tail a disheveled mess from the wind. Applejack was the first one to muster enough strength to speak. “Is-Is somethin’ wrong, Twi?”
Twilight waited a few more seconds, long enough for her lungs to start working. She may have been a fifth place sprinter, but the bookworm was far from a champion athlete. “I…I need to talk to Pinkie. It’s important!”
Everypony’s eyes turned to Pinkie Pie. The pink Earth pony carefully set down her doggy bag before responding. “Sure thing, Twilight! What’s up?”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “I think you already know.”
Pinkie stared at her incredulously, even cocking her head slightly. “Know what?”
“Pinkie…does the name ‘Kuchen’ mean anything to you?”
For the briefest of moments, Twilight could see something change in Pinkie. The moment the name left her lips, the pink pony’s mane and tail seemed to flatten ever-so-much, as if a balloon had sprung a leak. And then, just as quickly, her puffy hair returned to its natural, more chaotic flare. “Ku-what now?”
Twilight groaned. “Pinkie, please don’t lie to me right now. I REALLY need you to tell me the truth.”
Spike smacked himself across the forehead, emitting a frustrated groan as he did so. “Twilight, I thought we were all done with this junk.”
The unicorn’s eye twitched as she turned to face her assistant. “Junk?”
“Ya know, the whole ‘solvin’ Pinkie Sense’ thing yer so worried about?” Applejack added. “Ah mean, I understand yer all book-learned an’ stuff, but ya gotta accept that-”
“THIS ISN’T ABOUT PINKIE SENSE! IT’S ABOUT PINKIE NOT TELLING ME EVERYTHING SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE PRINCESS’ CONDITION!”
Everypony took more than a few steps away from their friend. Twilight’s condition was falling apart faster than anypony had dared think possible. Even the raging unicorn herself was shocked at how labored her breathing had become, or how her mind seemed to turn and rage against itself as she tried to piece together a decent explanation for why she was so intent on proving Pinkie’s connection to all this. Pinkie, meanwhile, was starting to nervously twitch and shudder under Twilight’s intense scrutiny.
Rarity was the first pony to find the courage to speak. “Twilight, I think you’re letting the current situation get to your head. You really need to relax.”
“Relax?” Twilight asked. “I don’t have time to relax! Princess Celestia is depending on me to find a cure, and so far, Pinkie seems to know more about this spell than I do!”
“Oh please, Twi!” Pinkie’s laugh was getting more and more nervous, almost reverting to a deep, fearful stutter. “I’m an Earth pony, remember? I’m not a fancy-pants unicorn like you! I mean, how would I know the first thing about magic?”
“Come to think of it, you did know the Elements wouldn’t work,” said Fluttershy.
Pinkie’s eyes slowly shifted towards the yellow pegasus. “Oh…that. Well, it was my…Pinkie Sense!”
“You have a Pinkie Sense for ‘The Elements of Harmony won’t cure Princess Celestia and will instead make things worse?’” Rainbow Dash asked incredulously.
The pony shrunk back on her haunches. “Well…Of course I do! I have a Pinkie Sense for everything, silly filly!”
The rest of the ponies (plus dragon) shared bewildered, untrusting glances. “Pinkie, ah don’t mean ta call ya’ll a liar, but that’s a tad hard ta swallow.”
If Pinkie Pie was sweating before, she was now leaking a small lake from her sweat glands. “I…I mean…Look girls, I know it’s a lot to take in, but please believe me. I’m telling the truth, I swear! No, I Pinkie Pie Swear!”
“And I know you were lying about the newspaper!” said Twilight. “The morning edition of the Equestria Daily never mentioned the Arcanus E Draconus! In fact, hardly anypony knows that book even exists!”
“Well…that was…” Pinkie was left dumbfounded to explain this discrepancy. Pinkie Sense generally didn’t extend to the printed word, or to anything not involving falling pots, oncoming disasters, or the sourest of grapes. She mentally scanned every excuse her parents had given her, every reasonable explanation for the odd ways and powers the Pie Clan sometimes exhibited, but nothing matched with her current situation. All she could do was scrunch up in an ever-smaller ball and hope things would pass. “I…I can’t tell you.”
“Um…gals?” piped Spike. “Listen, I realize Pinkie’s hiding something and all, but don’t you think you’re laying it in a little thick?”
“This is from the same dragon that wanted to hang Princess Luna only a day ago?” Twilight said with a wry smile.
Spike shrugged and fiddled his claws together. “Yeah yeah, I know. But still, maybe you should hold off for now?”
Twilight looked at the sobbing wreck of a pink party pony laying before her, and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Spike, but I need to find that counterspell as soon as possible. And if Pinkie knows something that will help, I have to let Princess Celestia know.”
“Let Princess Celestia know.”
Somewhere inside Pinkie’s head, a tiny little nerve snapped. The pony leaped from her prone position and landed in front of Twilight, her teeth barred and ready to attack. The unicorn leaned back in shock, while her friends tried to make their way around Pinkie just in case. “P-Pinkie, I didn’t mean to…” Twilight stammered.
“SHUT UP!” The fury in Pinkie Pie’s voice pushed the volume up to Royal Canterlot Voice levels. All this accomplished was making everypony else even more terrified. “I don’t want to hear another stupid word out of you!”
“Um…Pink?” said AJ. “Ya’ll should just calm down…”
“I have been calm!” Pinkie growled. “I’ve sat here and let who was supposed to be the smartest pony in Equestria accuse me of trying to hurt the most wonderful, awesome, super-special-amazing pony in the history of ponydom!”
Twilight’s surprise quickly turned about to fury. “Then why was your family afraid of Celestia?”
Pinkie gasped. “What do you mean?”
“Your cousin told me everything!” Twilight shouted. “You mentioned something nopony like you should know, and your parents mentioned Kuchen by name!”
Pinkie dug in on her hooves, her body shaking with fear. Her eyes began to seemingly shift about in an unnatural, fairly unhealthy way, and from her vantage point, Twilight could swear the irises were changing colors. “How dare you talk behind my back!”
“Er…Pinkie Pie…” mumbled Dash.
“It was the only way I could find anything out!” Twilight screamed.
“Maybe that’s because there wasn’t anything to figure out!” Pinkie shouted.
“You mean, after everything I’ve dug up, you’re still going to keep quiet?”
A wave passed from Pinkie’s tail to her eyes, setting her fur on end. The tips of her tail and mane tightened and sharpened themselves as if through magic. Everypony took more than a few steps back, even the accusative Twilight. She spoke in a voice that was her own, and yet bore malice far greater than even her time under Discord’s influence. “You know what? You’re right. We’re all…friends here, are we not?”
Fluttershy yelped and darted behind a terrified Applejack. “P-P-Pinkie Pie! What’s happened to you?”
Pinkie’s eyes never left Twilight’s. The unicorn’s very body turned cold from the pony’s nonverbal onslaught. “You know what? I really do need to tell you something. Do you know what happened to Kuchen?”
Twilight gulped. “F-Frosty Gaze told me…”
“Ah yes, that nosey little unicorn,” Pinkie sneered. “He was the first pony in over five hundred years to track us down. He was a lot like you back then, always sticking his face where it didn’t belong. And he paid for it. Oh, how he paid for it.”
“P-P-P-Pi-Pinkie?” Twilight stammered. “Wh-What’s happened to you?”
“Kuchen was a lot like that, too. He thought he knew everything there was about Princess Celestia and the ‘Mare in the Moon.’ That’s why he tried to make himself to bestest unicorn in all of Equestria. And before long, he realized he really was better than everypony else. Certainly better than Celestia the fraud.”
“Fr-Fraud?”
Spike peeked out from behind Fluttershy. The pegasus, in turn, darted behind him. “Princess Celestia isn’t a fraud!”
If Pinkie had even heard the dragon’s protests, she paid them no heed. “Kuchen developed more spells than any other pony in history. So what if he drove everypony around him to madness? So what if he used his own family to test his possession spells? He was working for the betterment of Ponykind, after all! But no, Celestia didn’t see it that way. She saw him as a threat. So one night, she came by and…”
Pinkie’s head suddenly lurched to the left, followed by the pony making a cracking noise. “Just. Like. That.”
If Twilight was afraid before, she was now about halfway to losing her faculties completely. “Wh-What does this have to do with anything?”
Pinkie slowly advanced on the unicorn, her head still tilted. Twilight responded by stepping back in equal measure. “I just thought you should know, before it happens to you.”
“Pinkie, stop!” shouted Rarity. “Whatever’s wrong, we can work it out!”
“Do you really think Celestia doesn’t see the similarities, too?” Pinkie’s voice was a mix of a mocking laugh and a thinly-veiled threat. “You can defeat an Ursa Minor by yourself, bring a town to war in an instant, and teleport yourself anywhere. What’s to stop you from throwing an Ursa Minor into a city, or starting a civil war for fun, or teleporting yourself inside another pony?”
The edges of Twilight’s eyes became hot. “I-I would never…”
“You’re right, you never will. Because Celestia isn’t going to give you the chance. She’ll play you along until she’s had her fun, and then WHAM! It will all be over. All your research on friendship? She’ll bury it at the bottom of a library, claiming it to be cursed. All your friends and family? She’ll hunt them down and throw them in the deepest prison in the land, just to make sure nopony ever remembers you. And you? Well, all she’ll have to do is give it a little twist, and POP! GOES! YOUR! HEAD!”
“That’s enough!” shouted Applejack. “Ah don’t know what’s gotten into ya, Pinkie, but we’re gonna have ah few words!”
Pinkie didn’t seem to care. Every fiber of her being was focused on the sobbing unicorn before her. “Look at you. You were oh-so confident when you came cantering up here! What happened? Did I scare you? Or do you know I’m telling the truth? You’re just as crazy as Kuchen was. All you care about is making Princess Celestia happy, and that’s all well and good right now. But one day, she is going to disappoint you, and you will see she’s just a pony like everypony else. And then you’ll realize how much of your life you’ve wasted trying to please a nopony! Let’s see how wonderful you are when you realize you’re a worthless, scum-sucking, insane waste of a pony!”
There was a flash of purple light, and Twilight was gone, teleported to parts unknown. With the center of her rage gone, Pinkie could feel the terrible coldness leave her as quickly as it had appeared. Her mane and tail regained their puffiness, while her eyes shifted back to their normal hue. The pony looked about, utterly perplexed by what was going on. She slowly turned back to her friends, her brain quickly digesting what had just happened. “Twilight? Where’d you…?”
She stopped as she saw her friends. All five ponies (plus dragon) could only stare at Pinkie like she was some kind of horrible stranger. “Wh-What’s going on, girls? Where’s Twilight?”
“Pinkie…what on Celestia’s Equestria was that?!” gasped Rarity.
The pink pony raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
Rainbow Dash fluttered down, stopping right in front of Pinkie. Her eyes glared down the pony like a pair of freshly-shined daggers, and the party master realized something was terribly wrong. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the whole ‘Snap your neck and scare the horse apples out of Twilight’ thing!”
Pinkie took a few steps back, her ears flattening against her skull. If she was not feigning ignorance earlier, now she truly understood what had happened. “I…I didn’t mean…”
Applejack walked a few steps forward, her hoof hovering above Rainbow’s tail just in case. Her own demeanor was almost as cold and angry as the blue pegasus. “Jus’ what were ya’ll thinkin’, Pinkie? Twilight’s tryin’ ta help the princess, and ya’ll act like some kind of sociopath?”
Spike slowly walked up to join the others, Fluttershy still clinging to his tail. “Pinkie…Twilight’s telling the truth, isn’t she? You really do know all about the spell.”
Pinkie raised a hoof to her quivering mouth, her eyes burning hot with stifled tears. “I…I wanted to tell you…” She shook her head, her eyes closed so tight it hurt. “I can’t! It’s a secret!”
“B-B-But Princess Celestia…” muttered Fluttershy.
“ESPECIALLY from Princess Celestia!”
Before anypony could do anything, Pinkie turned on her hooves and bolted out the palace gate. Rainbow and Applejack dashed off after her, but their close proximity and simultaneous start sent the two crashing into each other. Rarity’s own attempt to give chase ended when she ran into the blue-and-orange heap, adding a white unicorn to the pile. Spike tried to give chase, but Fluttershy’s panic mode kept her clinging to his back, her weight holding the baby dragon down. Pinkie was long gone by the time everypony was done fighting free of each other.
Rainbow panted and gasped in confusion. “Wh-What are we gonna do now?”
Applejack dusted off and adjusted her hat, shifting from “Apple Buck Mode” to “Apple Farm Manager Mode.” “Dash, you and Fluttershy go high. Rarity ‘n Ah will search from ta ground. Ya’ll keep an eye out fer Pinkie or Twilight!”
----------
When Lofty had first learned her mother had found work at Canterlot Castle itself, she was practically jumping with joy. Now that she had seen what the job actually involved, the filly was less than enthused at spending the day here.
Luna’s list of tasks more or less amounted to, “Go here, look at something, talk to somepony, get frustrated, repeat.” Ruby and Lofty had only been at work for less than an hour, and already the child was getting frustrated with cantering back and forth from one room to the next, occasionally stopping for a quick breather and to make sure the little pegasus was didn’t have to use the little fillies room before continuing.
Ruby wasn’t exactly having a ball, either. By the time she had left last night, most of the actual furniture and supplies for the party had arrived, and even now there were scores of ponies out in the gardens, all of them throwing the mish-mash of items together to create a semblance of order before tonight. As for Luna’s list of duties, she had only been able to scratch off five or six items, nearly all of them assigning other servants to either help clean the debris from last night’s storm, or to help with the rest of today’s deliveries.
Having her daughter following her didn’t make things any easier. Lofty wasn’t a bad child by any means, nor was she making things too difficult right now. No, the problem was the insane amount of security detail she had to worm her way through just to get to the various tasks her princess had outlined. Every doorway, every hallway, every everything had at least two guards stationed nearby, all of them ready and willing to protect the princesses from the deadly assassination skills of a kindergarten-aged filly. Ruby had even gone back outside to get her daughter’s pass attached to a chain necklace, and even that was barely enough to convince the guards that Lofty wasn’t going to spread mass destruction throughout the palace.
It was almost two hours into their duties, and right after Ruby had confirmed that onions and artichokes do not go together, when the two finally decided to take a proper break. The two trotted from the kitchen to a small dining room frequently used by the castle’s employees. A handful of ponies were still sitting there, finishing off a quick cup of tea or reading the morning paper before heading back to work.
Both mother and daughter slunk onto the wooden benches, their upper bodies laying against the tabletop. The filly in particular was close to exhaustion, having been hauled from one end of Canterlot’s royalist of buildings to another several times in the last short burst of time. Ruby picked up on her daughter’s plight almost immediately. “D-Do you need some water?”
Lofty rolled her eyes upwards, her head remaining motionless on the table. “Yes, please.”
Bending over to her saddle bags, Ruby flipped the flap open with her nose and gripped a plastic bottle between her teeth. The water container struggled against the various items Ruby had stashed inside, but finally yielded to the pegasus. Another pull, and it was opened and sitting on the table, in front of Lofty. Another flick of the adult’s wings, produced a bent straw, which soon found itself sitting neck-deep in the liquid.
Lofty nodded and started taking a few sips. Her energy seemed to return as she did so, her body visibly relaxing against the table. Ruby and the other servants smiled at the child’s joy. “So…how are you enjoying the castle?”
Lofty pulled herself away from the straw and shrugged. “It’s okay.”
Ruby had to cock her head at that one. “Okay? I certainly think spending the day at the center of Equestria’s government would be more than just ‘okay.’”
The filly sighed. “But it’s so boring! All you do is work!”
Just about everypony had a good laugh at that one, save for Lofty herself. “Lofty, sweetie,” said Ruby, “that’s what adults do. We go to our jobs and work all day so you can have food on your plate. And how about those flight lessons of yours? Miss Firefly doesn’t teach you for free, after all.”
“Oh, that’s right!” Lofty’s eyes practically popped out of their sockets in glee. The filly leaped onto the bench, showing all the boisterousness and showmareship of a trained athlete. “Miss Firefly finally showed me how to do a 180! Wanna see, mom?”
The entire lunchroom exploded into laughter as Ruby leaped over the table and slammed both forehooves on her daughter’s wings just as they were opening. The filly blurted out an agonized cry, both out of surprise and out of the pain on her sensitive wings. She slowly turned her head until she was at eye level with her mother, even as the tears began to water.
Ruby’s stone hard gaze softened slightly, but her motherly instincts remained. “Lofty, what did you promise me before we left the house today?”
Lofty sniffed and sobbed, showing as much of a foalish front as possible. “N-Not to fly in the palace?”
“And where are we now?”
“Th-Th-The palace?”
Ruby let out a big sigh before releasing her daughter from the pincer attack. The other ponies were still in an uproar of laughter at the poor pegasi’s expense, leaving the older of the two blushing beneath her red coat. The younger didn’t quite understand what was going on, but could pick up that something was wrong. “I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s…all right.” Ruby shook her head vigorously, hoping to remove any lingering resentments towards the near disaster her daughter had unleashed. “Come on. We still have a lot of work to do today.”
----------
In the time since Luna left, Celestia had discovered yet another fact of a filly’s life:
Jumping on your bed is overrated.
The filly landed back onto the bed, the mattress depressing in just the right way to support her tiny weight. The bouncing was a little fun at first, but after the fifth hop or so the game became rather predictable. And then there was the time she fell over the side. She had already taken enough blows to the head these last few days, and burying her face in the royal floor was not her idea of a good time.
Sulking, the pony slowly stepped off the bed and spread herself out on the ground, completely drowning herself in her own self-pity. All her suffering this morning had confirmed that there was not a single thing for the filly to do in her room. There was nary a sight of Twilight all morning, and there was little doubt that her friends were well on their way back to Ponyville by now. Her servants would be of no use right now, especially with that contemptible party this very evening.
And Luna was no doubt hard at work, ensuring the continued prosperity of their fair nation…
----------
Luna couldn’t believe it.
One minute, she was afraid she would be eaten alive by a hoard of angry, prepubescent youngsters, and the next she was being greeted cautiously but warmly. Even the photographers and press agents, nearly all of whom had believed this to be the princess’ personal buffet table only a short time earlier, seemed genuinely amazed at how well the normally awkward princess was handling everything.
And now…
“So Mr. Weevil said to Mrs. Butterscotch, ‘What are you going to do with that shovel?’ ‘Why, I am going to dig for worms for my best friend’s birthday cake!’ she replied.”
The entire room exploded in laughter and applause from the children, while the adults in the room just shrugged at the punchline. Luna was especially confused by the book’s turn of events. I thought the weevil was going to the store for some coconut milk. Why is he talking to a pony all of a sudden? For that matter, how is a weevil able to talk to a pony in the first place? And what can an insect do with coconut milk anyway? This “children’s literature” genre will require some reworking before-
“Um…Princess Luna?”
Luna broke free from her thoughts and glanced down at the little filly at her hooves. “C-Can you please continue? The story’s getting really good!”
“Oh, of course,” she said with a smile. “I was just…a little lost in thought. Now, where was I…?”
It took only a second to find her spot in the book again. The princess telekinetically turned the page, revealing the next paragraph of the weevil’s grand adventures. “And so Mr. Weevil continued walking to the store, until he came across a very hungry pegasus.” And what does that have to do with worms in cakes? Mrs. Butterscotch’s story would be more interesting than a bug trying to buy something he has no use for. How does a weevil earn money anyway? This story has so many plot holes.
----------
Celestia was about ready to go into another mope cycle when she heard voices on the other side of her door.
“All right, that’s another thing done. Now we need to head back to the gardens to help set up the chairs.”
“Again? But we were just out there, mom!”
The princess’ ear flicked up at the word “mom.” The tone, pitch and whininess all perfectly cross referenced with everything she knew about a specific subgroup of ponies: foals. In fact, it was a perfect match for those shown by the Bearers during last night’s incident.
Curious, Celestia crept closer to the door. She pressed her ear against the door just in time to catch the rest of the conversation. “I know, but there’s a lot to get ready before tonight! There’s going to be a party here, and I have to make sure everything is perfect for Princess Luna.”
“A party? Are we invited?”
“No dear. This is a very private party, and it’s very important for the princess that everything goes well.”
“Oh.”
“Come on, you’ll like…”
The voices faded off into the distance, but Celestia had heard enough. She couldn’t quite peg who was talking, but it was definitely a mother and child. More than likely, it was one of those “take your filly to school day” things teachers used for a cheap day off, a practice Celestia had all but given up on stamping out. In any case, nopony had ever brought their filly to the palace itself. The bureaucracy alone must have been an absolute nightmare.
Celestia waited a few more seconds for the hoofsteps to disappear entirely before she dared to open one half of the door. Peeking around the closed side, she managed to pick up a small, yellow pegasus filly wandering with a red mare. The two were carrying on a conversation, most likely the small one complaining to the big one about how tired she was getting from walking around all day.
It didn’t take long for the guards to notice Celestia was taking a few steps outside. One of the burly pegasus ponies stepped forward and bowed, both to show reverence to his leader and to reach eye level. “May I ask what you are doing, your Highness?”
The filly shrugged. “Oh, nothing of consequence. By the way, who were those ponies?”
The guard turned towards the small dots in the distance. “Those would be Princess Luna’s temporary attendant and her daughter. They were attending to royal business with the Treasury just now.”
A tiny little switch flipped in the princess’ brain, causing a mischievous smile to spread across her lips. For the second time in as many days, fate had laid something glorious in her lap. And yet, something else held her back. This was her last chance to make this work, and she had to be prepared.
Celestia cleared her throat, taking on as much of a commanding tone as possible. “I need you to escort me to my study. I have some reading to do.”
----------
Celestia’s study was just as well-kept as ever, save for the ashes of that book still sitting in the fireplace. Pushing the charred remains of the dirty pictures book aside, the guard dutifully lit a fire for his princess before returning to his post. Celestia gave the usual thanks, waited until he was gone, and then darted for a nearby mural depicting a sun and moon in perfect equilibrium.
The filly quickly pushed a small stool under the mural before parting the metaphorical curtain, revealing a fake portion of the wall. Celestia took a running leap to the stool, landing on top at just the right angle to slide the panel aside. On the other side sat a collection of the most precious parchments Celestia had ever collected.
Twilight Sparkle’s Friendship Reports.
The filly regarded the bound scrolls with pride. For over a year, her pupil had dutifully studied and documented the magic of friendship. Things like slumber parties, races, and parties were old hat for many ponies, but for Celestia’s prized student they were as foreign as being in another country. Nevertheless, the unicorn had gladly jotted down every lesson she had learned with her friends, and then sending them via dragon to the princess to show the progress of her research. For most of the first year, Celestia had viewed Twilight’s progress with a mixture of pride and more than a little bit of jealousy.
And then the Smarty Pants incident happened. Twilight had not only disappointed Celestia immensely, she had revealed the flaws in the princess’ grand plan. One pony was not enough for such a large project, and it was only good fortune that Twilight’s friends had arrived when they did. Otherwise…
Celestia closed her eyes. No. Don’t think about that. It was five hundred years ago. Twilight is not like…him.
Shaking her head clear of such thoughts, she reached her head into the compartment and started pulling out the scrolls. It was right as the entire pile started sagging forward that the princess realized she really should not have put off actually organizing Twilight’s letters. The mass of papers tumbled into the filly, sending her crashing down to the floor in a tangled mess of feathers, limbs, and parchment.
The dizzy filly climbed back to her hooves, throwing off the papers in about five different directions. Her eyes quickly caught one that had popped open; it was as good a starting place as any. If Twilight Sparkle and her friends have been sending me lessons all this time, then I should be able to find everything I need here.
She knelt down before the open scroll, unrolling it fully with her muzzle before reading. “Dear Princess Celestia: My friend, Applejack, is…”
----------
“And so the dog found a new home on the bee farm, where she and Farmer Honeysuckle lived happily ever after. The end.”
With a last quick burst of magic, Luna closed the book (A Dog Named Honey) and floated it back to one of the bookshelves. The fillies in the room clapped and gave as much applause as they could, while the journalists in the back scribbled down notes with their mouths and own magic. For a few moments, the Princess of the Moon felt her own spirits being lifted.
Then she got a glance at the clock. The morning was almost over, she had to get ready for yet another round of appointments all afternoon, and there was still tonight’s little party to get ready for. She gave a nod to the waiting nurse on the other side of the room, who quickly returned the same gesture.
“I’m sorry, my little ponies,” Luna said, “but I’m afraid I have to be going.” The room erupted into a groan of disappointment. “I understand, but there is still a lot of royal business I have to take care of. And with my big sister on vacation, I have to finish as much as possible by myself.”
“B-But you can come again, right?” asked one of the children.
“This was the awesomemestest thing ever!” said another.
“Yeah, you rock!”
Everypony’s eyes turned to one of the reporters in the back. The unicorn blushed like a ripe tomato before hiding his face beneath his hat and coat. “Um…I mean…Wow, what a scoop!”
Luna turned her attention back to the fillies and colts, giving them a warm smile. “I cannot say when, but if the doctors and nurses find me agreeable, I will try to return. That is a promise, and princesses never break their promises.”
And with that, as well as a few more well wishes and goodbyes, Luna’s brief morning adventure came to an end. With a heavy sigh, she followed Nurse Ward back through the halls of the hospital, no doubt to the same chilly reception as before. And sure enough, cruel fate did not want to disappoint, as the front lobby was once again filled with ponies bowing in fear and reverence as Luna approached. In fact, she could swear a few of them had not moved from the same spot they were in when she first arrived.
“I really do wish to thank you, your Highness,” said Ward. “It really does mean a lot to these children to know that the princesses care about them.”
“Even if it’s not Celestia?” Luna said with a moan.
Nurse Ward paused by the hospital doors, raising a hoof back towards the Children’s Wing. “Didn’t you see them back there? You may not have rainbows for hair, but they still loved you.”
The princess paused as well, reflecting on everything that had just happened. The room certainly didn’t seem hostile, especially after she had a few minutes to warm up to the crowd, and the reception from the back was positive. “I…I suppose so.”
“I can’t speak for the administration, but if you can ever find time in your busy schedule to stop by for a few minutes, feel free. And Princess Celestia is certainly invited as well.” Nurse Ward gave a last bow as Luna willed the hospital doors open. “Thank you for your time, your Highness.”
“It is no trouble at all,” Luna replied. “I’m honestly surprised Celestia never found time for this herself. I will deliver the message once she returns from vacation.”
Now filled to the brim with some sense of self-confidence, Luna trotted back to her waiting carriage, where her two pegasii were busy staring at clouds and discussing life’s innermost mysteries. The moment her rear royal hooves struck the chariot’s floor, however, the two guards hopped to their hooves, reared up in a mighty whinny, and galloped ahead about ten feet before leaping up and flapping their wings.
----------
From the ground below, a single unicorn reporter watched as Luna and her personal guards disappeared into the distance. Once he was certain they were well out of hearing range, he lit up his horn and began scribbling away on a notepad:
“Princess Celestia ducking hospital gig. Princess Luna responds. Possible story?”
----------
After delivering a few dozen scrolls and letters to the various offices in the palace, Ruby and Lofty reached the garden doors. By now, the filly was panting in not-so-quiet exhaustion and frustration, something her mother had noticed. “Do you need to take a break, Lofty?”
“N-No, mom,” said Lofty. “I’m fine. I’m learning so much.”
Ruby smiled. “Really, now? So tell me, what pony’s painting is hanging in the East Hall?”
Lofty’s grin faded as she tried to mentally recall everything she had seen. “Um...Princess Celestia?”
The older pegasus laughed and gave her filly a friendly nudge on the forehead. “Lucky guess.”
Her attention returned to the garden. In the short time between their last visit and the present, more and more ponies had arrived to help set things up. In particular, the construction teams had arrived to set up the stage for the orchestra, as well as a few perches for the visiting Cloudsdale delegation. Between the sheer mass of bodies running about outside, the ongoing construction, and the volume of things Ruby still had to accomplish, it was obviously no place for a child.
The big pegasus turned to the smaller one, giving her the usual motherly smile. “Lofty, I will need you to stay here for a little while. I’m afraid I can’t have you running around outside right now.”
Lofty huffed and fumed. “Oh…all right.”
Still smiling, Ruby gave the filly a quick nuzzle on the top of the head. “I will just be a few minutes. Just stay here and keep working on that picture of Princess Luna. I want that hanging in the Canterlot Art Gallery by nightfall.”
Lofty made a move to say something, but the mare was already out the door and in the garden itself. Sighing, the filly sat on her haunches, pulled out her notepad, and began drawing away, adding some flame breath to Luna’s already frightening range of powers.
----------
Celestia sat around the corner, crouched like a panther about to pounce on a bird.
The filly was sitting there, scribbling away on a notepad. Her mother had just stepped through the garden doors, unwittingly leaving her daughter at her princess’ mercy. There were still plenty of guards, sure, but they would not dare interfere in their ruler’s schemes. And “schemes” would certainly be the correct word to use for Celestia’s plans.
Her own studies into the Magic of Friendship may not have been first-hand like Twilight’s, but her student’s letters were more than sufficient to close the gap. She had already read through them dozens of times in the past, living vicariously through the unicorn and her friend’s triumphs and failures, but the last study session had given her the insight she needed to proceed.
At long last, she would have a friend. A playmate. Somepony she could spend time with and just enjoy herself, not as a princess, but as a regular pony. And best of all, Luna wasn’t there to stop her. The foal was practically rubbing her hooves together in anticipation.
My research has told me everything I need to know. All I have to do is take a few steps into the room, say “Hello,” and bam, instant friendship. Twilight’s reports make it sound so simple, I’m amazed I never tried it before.
Taking a deep, confidence-raising breath, Princess Celestia strode two steps into the room. The sound of her hooves soon caught the other filly’s attention, the pencil ceasing its mouth-guided movements. The little pony managed to catch a glimpse of a small, pony-shaped blur darting back down the hall before losing interest and returning to her drawings.
Meanwhile, back at her vantage point, Celestia was in a sorry shape. Her fur was creased and messy, as was her hair. All of this was a result of the massive amounts of terror sweat that had just ran through every inch of her fur, the kind that a prisoner would feel before facing their execution. With trembling, fear-filled eyes, the princess looked back, saw that the filly was still scribbling away, and just as quickly darted her eyes in the opposite direction.
Celestia wheezed and heaved, her pupils dilating from the stress. The moment she saw that filly staring at her, everything had gone black. Her body was wracked with an unfiltered emotion she had not experienced in a long time: fear.
Coughing a bit, the princess tried to shake herself clear of those thoughts. You are Princess Celestia, Steward of the Sun and Crown Princess of the Nation of Equestria. You have faced everything from dragons to griffons, defeated Manticores and Windigoes, and dethroned that monster Discord. You have ruled Equestria for over a thousand years, and under you, the land has thrived into a paradise amongst the world. Why are you scared of a little girl?
Her newfound confidence quickly vanished as she took another look at the filly, still blissfully unaware of her royal stalker. “But…what if she doesn’t like me?” she whispered.
Everypony loves you!
“And what if she tells everypony what happened to me?”
Do you want friends or not?!
Celestia shrank back even further. “I don’t know who she is. How am I supposed to talk to her? What am I supposed to say?”
You command an entire country, you foal! Surely you can speak to one filly?
“B-But…What if I do something wrong? What if I’m a jerk to her, like I was to Luna? Wh-What if she’s mean to me?”
You’ll never know how she’ll treat you if you just sit here and hide. And besides, you may have made mistakes with Luna, but she still…maybe…loves you. You’ll be fine.
Celestia nodded to the vast empty space before her. “Yes, that’s right. If I can rule a country, I can certainly handle myself around a filly. Thank you…”
Her thoughts suddenly trailed off as a realization struck her. She had just spent the last few minutes arguing with, for lack of a better term, herself. The filly gave a deep, heavy sigh, her muscles visibly relaxing as the tension washed away in a great wave. The situation’s getting the better of me. I just have to walk up to her, say “Hello,” and everything will be-
“Hello.”
The sound of the young voice completely shattered Celestia’s concentration. The terror within her welled up yet again, sending the filly hopping straight up a good ten feet before spinning about and landing, her fur standing on end like a startled cat. The same little filly she had been trying to befriend was now standing directly behind her, looking almost as scared as the princess.
The two stood there, completely unable to move, for about ten seconds before the filly spoke up again. “Um…Hi. My name’s Lofty. What’s yours?”
All right, Celestia, you have your cover story. Your fake name is…
“HELLO I AM A PRINCESS ARE YOU A PRINCESS TOO!”
Celestia immediately covered her mouth with one hoof, her cheeks burning red from the nonsense she had just blurted out. Lofty took a few steps back, seeming very, very afraid of the strange child before her. The princess, for her part, was quickly reverting into a bowl of jelly. Never before had she been so, for lack of a better word, shy. “I mean, my name is…er…Sunlight.” The princess began to bow. “And I am very grateful to-“ She quickly caught herself mid-curtsy and returned to her usual standing position. “I mean…it’s nice to meet you.”
Lofty’s apprehension began to turn to befuddlement at the pony’s awkwardness, before gradually turning into curiosity. She looked the princess up and down, taking in every inch of her being. In particular, she noticed two rather obvious things that should not go together. “How’d you get a horn and wings? I thought only princesses had both.”
“Um…that is, you see…” Celestia’s eyes widened as inspiration struck her. “I am a princess! You see, I’m Princess Sunlight, Royal Niece to Princesses Celestia and Luna! I’m visiting my aunts so they can teach me how to be a better princess!”
As if to try and sell the ridiculous lie, Celestia clenched her teeth into a big, toothy grin, even as her shifting eyes threatened to betray her. Unfortunately for the princess, they did. Lofty took a few steps towards Celestia, obviously incredulous at her story. “I’ve never heard of a filly princess before. Aren’t they all supposed to be a bazillion feet tall, and weigh a hundred tons?”
Celestia’s teeth were now gritting for a very different reason. It’s always the weight, isn’t it? Just because I like cake doesn’t mean I’m fat! “I’m…just a little kid, I guess. I mean, Aunt Celestia and Luna must have been fillies at some point, right?”
The filly appeared to give no heed to Celestia’s nervous giggling. Instead, her eyes zoomed in on the other distinguishing feature: a certain mark on the pony’s backside. Lofty’s jaw hung in amazement. “You have a cutie mark already? And…it’s the same as Princess Celestia’s?!”
Celestia felt like bucking herself right now for forgetting that telltale giveaway. “Um…it’s…fake?”
Lofty titled her head. “Fake?”
“Um…yeah. You see, I love my cous- I mean, aunt so much that I asked her to...um…paint a copy of her cutie mark on! You know, just like at a carnival or something…um…” Why is this so difficult?
“I think they paint your face at a carnival, not your flank.” Lofty shook her head sadly. “And what’s with your mane?”
Celestia reached up and wrapped a lock of her rainbow hair around a hoof. “Oh…well, Princess Luna let me use Aunt Celestia’s shampoo. This is what it does to your hair.”
Lofty did little else but grimace at the filly for a few moments, setting Celestia’s nerves off even more. Any moment now, she could be discovered for the liar she was, and her hopes of ending this conversation gracefully would be dashed like a cruiser on the rocks. Her fears abated, however, when the pony, instead of digging in deeper, gave her a smile. “Oh, okay! So, do you want to draw?”
“DO I?!”
Celestia’s exuberance threw the filly off balance yet again. The princess quickly realized her mistake. “I mean…sure.”
----------
If the scene inside the palace was a little crazy, the garden’s current state was a cacophony of chaos.
Pony after pony darted past Ruby, desperately racing to finish their assignments in time for someone else to begin theirs. The sitting tables were not in perfect alignment, an atrocious affront to the delicate feelings of the upper class. Any attempt to reshuffle the seating arrangement only ran into another web of old hostilities, family feuds, and fear of being placed farther and farther away from the princess. The plants and shrubs were still too wet to suitably decorate, which was fine, since they were short about two dozen roses. At least those blue plants the florists found looked nice under the lights.
Ruby was half-ready to just give up on the job, perhaps find a nice cloud for her family to crash on while Luna’s near-certain rage had run its course, when she heard another set of hoofsteps coming from the garden doors. The pegasus turned to the entryway, eyes clamped shut. “Princess Luna, I’m so sorry! I know everything isn’t done, but…”
“I…I’m not Princess Luna.”
Ruby slowly opened her eyes, taking in a very un-winged unicorn. Before her stood the purple unicorn she had occasionally glimpsed around the palace. The pony’s eyes were a light red, and when combined with the wrinkled bags under her eyes, it was obvious this pony had been crying her eyes out only moments before.
The pegasus cocked her head at the sad sight before her. “Um…are you all right, Miss…?”
“Twilight Sparkle.” The pony coughed a few times to clean out her dried throat. “I…I’m sorry if I’m intruding. I just wanted to…”
“It’s no problem at all, Miss Sparkle,” Ruby said with the shake of a hoof. “Things are just a little too chaotic over here right now, nothing more. I had no idea being the princess’ personal attendant could be so…trying.” The pegasus’ attention quickly returned to the still-ailing unicorn. “Is there something wrong?”
The unicorn hung her head aside, ashamed to let the other pony see her in this state. “Well…I was hoping Princess Luna was back. I needed to talk to her about some things.”
Ruby looked up at the sun, trying to identify the time of day as best she could. “She should be back any minute now. She was hoping to get some paperwork finished before court this afternoon.”
“I see.” Twilight glanced back and forth, making sure nopony inappropriate was listening in before continuing. “And have you seen Princess Celestia anywhere?”
Ruby looked up from her scroll in confusion. “What? She isn’t in her room?”
“One of the guards said she had gone to her study, but she wasn’t there, either.”
“Well, she couldn’t have gone far. I’m just about finished out here. Let me give you some help.”
Twilight nodded. “Th-Thank you.”
Ruby waved a dismissing hoof before opening the garden doors. “Oh, it’s no trouble at all. As Princess Luna’s royal attendant, it is my duty to…”
It was at very moment, as the two stepped through the door, that Ruby and Twilight caught a glimpse of two small fillies. One was the attendant’s precious yellow filly, and the other…
Twilight immediately slammed the door shut, getting the attention of both fillies. The yellow filly was especially happy to see the red mare. “You’re back, mom!”
Lofty jumped to her hooves and galloped up to her mother, her neck craning in preparation for the requisite nuzzle. All she got was a look of stunned disbelief.
Meanwhile, the pegasus’ companion trotted up to Celestia, looking more amazed than terrified. “Wh-What are you doing out here, Pri-”
Celestia quickly shushed her student, her eyes still locked on Lofty. “Ix-nay on the Elestia-cay. As far as everypony is concerned, my name is Princess Sunlight, niece to the Royal Pony Sisters. Just play along with my brilliant cover, and everything will be fine.”
“Wh-What are you doing?” Ruby stammered.
“I was just playing with Princess Celestia,” said Lofty.
The entire room went quiet, if only so everypony could properly catalogue the filly’s brazen confession. Sighing, Celestia slowly walked up to Lofty. “You mean you knew the whole time?”
“Well, you weren’t very good at hiding,” said Lofty. “I mean, how many rainbow-haired ponies have wings and a horn, anyway?”
“Th-Then why did you let me stay?”
Lofty shrugged. “I dunno. I thought it was a game.” She looked up to her mother. “Why is she a filly, though? I always thought Princess Celestia was bigger.”
Ruby didn’t answer. She didn’t know what to say or think right now. Her daughter and Princess Celestia had not only found each other, they had been playing together. All this spat in the face of Luna’s orders from yesterday. What am I worried about? I’m sure Princess Luna was just joking. She wouldn’t really...”
Everypony’s thoughts were interrupted by a sudden flash of blue light. Before everypony stood Princess Luna, in all her royal glory. And even more bizarrely, she was smiling. It wasn’t the mocking smile of a victorious prankster, nor was it a faked grin to hide her inner frustration. It was real, genuine happiness.
Once the light had dissipated, Luna turned to her still-shellshocked attendant and accompanying filly, completely oblivious to the two other ponies standing behind her. The blue alicorn could barely resist giving the pegasus a great big bear hug as it was. “Salutations and good morning, Miss Dream! Is everything in order around the palace?!”
“Um…I…gah…” Ruby wasn’t quite sure how to feel about the visage of Luna standing before her. She had never really seen the princess, for lack of a better word, happy.
“Oh, do not worry if not everything was finished,” Luna said with a wave of her hoof. “I’m certain you have gotten enough accomplished for us to finish today’s tasks. And besides, I…”
It was right about then that she realized there were other ponies in the room. The princess slowly turned about, expecting to see her royal guards or one of the palace’s advisors. Instead, she saw a Twilight that had apparently spent the last hour crying and her filly of an older sister. All the goodness that had filled the princess’ very being dried up in an instant, only to be replaced by a mixture of ragged frustration and general ill-will towards Ruby and her daughter.
“Your Majesty,” Ruby began, “I can explain…”
The alicorn spun about, her eyes alone expressing her great displeasure. “You promised me your daughter and my sister would remain far apart. What is going on here?”
“Well…I…”
The filly chirped up, still scared but desperate to save her mother from the fire-breathing princess of death. “I just found Princess Celestia wandering around. I just thought she was playing a game or something. I didn’t know it was a bad thing.”
“Just wait a minute, little sister,” Celestia snapped. “I’m the one that started everything. I saw Lofty and her mom earlier, and I just wanted to hang out with her for a few minutes. If you’re going to punish somepony, it should be me.”
Luna’s attention shifted back and forth, from one potential victim to the next. Everypony stood in bated breath for her to pass judgment, while also planning out the fastest possible escape routes from the palace itself. Ruby’s wings were extended, earning a silent admonishment from her grounded spawn, while Twilight quickly levitated Celestia onto her back in case she had to start galloping for dear life. Even the guards, who had been viewing the events with quiet interest, found themselves preparing for the inevitable slaughter.
“…Very well,” Luna said with a sigh. “What’s done is done.” The princess’ death gaze drifted downwards, centering on the yellow filly’s forehead. “Just remember this, child. Nopony is to know about Celestia’s condition. Your friends, teachers, and other relatives are to remain as oblivious as you were this morning. Tell anyone of this, and you may face severe consequences. Do you understand?”
Lofty’s brain came very close to shutting down halfway through Luna’s speech, and were Ruby not rapidly bobbing the filly’s head, she would have been as motionless as a statue. “Sh-She understands, your Highness! She won’t tell anypony!”
Luna facehoofed at her attendant’s terror. And I was just getting away from that, too. “Twilight, take Princess Celestia back to her room. I want you to return to work finding a cure. Miss Dream, you and your daughter will accompany me to my offices. We need to finish reading over those briefings from the War Department. And I have a few words to say to the Department of Education about their book selection…”
----------
TO BE CONTINUED
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Ten
The march back to Celestia’s room went without incident. In fact, not a single word was spoken between the two. The filly was upset at Luna interrupting her latest attempt to make friends, and the less said about Twilight’s current state of mind, the better.
By the time the two had stepped inside the room, Celestia could take no more. “Twilight, is something wrong?”
“Oh…it’s nothing.” Twilight turned towards the door, desperate to escape this awkward situation. “I…I have a lot of work to do. If you would excuse me…”
The princess jumped off of Twilight’s back, landing on her bed with all the poise of a trained athlete. “Twilight, I have not lasted all these years without recognizing when a pony is troubled. Is there anything I can do?”
Twilight’s lower lip was so deep into the top of her mouth that they two halves threatened to merge completely. “I can’t tell you.”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed into thin slits. “Do not make this difficult, Twilight Sparkle. As your mentor and ruler, I demand that you tell me everything!”
“I can’t!” Twilight gasped. Celestia reared up in surprise at her student’s anger. “If I do, you’ll kill one of my best friend’s families!”
The unicorn squeaked and covered her mouths as she realized what she had just blurted out. Celestia, meanwhile, looked more horrified than anything else. “W-What?!”
“I-I-I said too much!” Twilight sobbed. “I should never have talked to you! I wish I hadn’t even gotten into this crazy mess! I could have stayed stupid and happy and never knew one my best friends actually hates me and-”
“Are you talking about Pinkie Pie?”
Just about every nerve in Twilight’s body decided to shut down at that moment. The unicorn stared at her mentor, her jaw so slack it threatened to separate from the rest of the body entirely. “Wh-What? You mean you knew the whole time?”
“Did you really think I wouldn’t? I’ve known about the Pie Clan ever since it came into being.”
“Th-Then why didn’t you say anything?!” Twilight gasped. “Why string me along for so long?”
“I was NOT ‘stringing you along,’” Celestia reprimanded. “I honestly did not think you would learn that much about..him. Frosty Gaze’s thesis made no mention of Kuchen’s family, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell you something like that. If Spike hadn’t misread your intentions…”
“B-But that’s not it! Pinkie knew the Elements wouldn’t work, but we ignored her! And she apparently knows about long-gone opera houses! And just now, she told me how you were going to kill me and bury everything I’ve ever worked on in the basement of the Canterlot Library because apparently I’m insane but I’m not insane right I mean OH SWEET YOU I AM CRAZY!”
“TWILIGHT SPARKLE!”
Twilight immediately stopped panicking and fell to her floor, huddled like a small child. Celestia leaned over the side of the bed, her eyes still locked onto her student. “Now, tell me everything Pinkie said.”
----------
Canterlot’s Central Park was one of the most luxurious parks in the whole of Equestria. After all, if you had to make a piece of greenery to surround the famed Yet Another Celestia Statue, one would make sure it was befitting the country’s capital. The spending evergreen trees, the fresh mowed grass, and the numerous cobblestone paths all added to the area’s grand charms.
All of this was lost on one particular pony. The pink mare from Ponyville had sequestered herself onto a park bench, content to just sit there until she starved or froze to death, whatever came first. Around her walked scores of ponies, hurrying about to enjoy what could be the last day before Luna banished the sun forever. Only a few of these everyday folk gave the pony a brief glance before continuing on their merry way. The large trees also gave Pinkie some cover from any pegasus that might come looking for her.
The loneliness suited Pinkie just fine. It gave her plenty of time to reflect. My friends saw everything. Twilight’s probably running off to tell Celestia everything. They’ll haul my whole family to a dungeon somewhere, and me with them.
“Now that’s not how I taught you to talk, Pinkie.”
The voice rang out from seemingly nowhere, but was more than enough to send Pinkia catapulting onto her rump. Her eyes darted about, but saw nopony besides the usual Canterlot ones. “Wh-Who said that?” she said in a hushed tone.
“Oh, Pinkie! How could you forget me?”
The pony’s eyes burst wide so violently they threatened to swallow the pony’s entire face. “Gr-Granny Pie?”
“The one and only!”
“B-But you passed away years ago!”
“Since when has this been a problem for this family? I’m in your head, silly filly!”
Pinkie shook her head violently, hoping to break loose whatever illusion was bringing her grandmother back from the dead. “Please, get outta there, granny! I already had one scary voice in my head today! I don’t want another!”
“Well, that’s too bad! I’m here now, and you’re gonna listen!”
Pinkie flinched back in the bench, ears and eyes drooping from her own mental scolding. “Sorry, Granny Pie.”
“Now, what is all this silliness I’m hearing about you not telling Celestia anything? The Princess of Equestria is in trouble, and all I hear my dear Pinkie Pie blabbering about is how the same pony that raises the sun every day is going to kill us all?”
“B-But Dad always said…”
“Your Pa was a right old sort, always worrying if you were getting too carefree or undisciplined. I mean, that’s why you couldn’t block his voice out, or any of the other Pies that listened to him. What he never got was, he was the one letting that little voice control his life. I mean, we listen to it, and we’re perfectly sane, right?”
Pinkie’s eyes narrowed into a dull, unbelieving expression of discontentment. “Granny, I just yelled at my best friend. How is that sane?”
“And how do you think she feels right now?”
“I…I…I don’t know…” Pinkie’s voice began to crack as she continued speaking to herself. “I’m such a stupid pony.”
“You’re only a stupid pony if you don’t apologize.”
Pinkie sniffed and wiped away a small tear. “Y-You’re right, Granny.”
“PINKIE! TWILIGHT!”
Pinkie Pie zoomed from the bench, hiding under a tree. Above her was Rainbow Dash, slowly flying over Canterlot while shouting for the two missing ponies. I can’t let them catch me first! I have to see if Twilight will forgive me before I do anything else. Now, what does the master of Hide-And-Seek do?
Her eyes locked on a nearby manhole cover. She smiled as, for once, her ancestor’s memories actually served a good purpose. Princess Celestia showed Kuchen all the emergency tunnels that ran through Canterlot! All I gotta do is follow one and BAM, I’m in the palace! What could be simpler?
----------
“And that’s everything she said,” Twilight whispered.
Celestia was understandably quiet. Kuchen was a sore subject, to be sure. And yet, the despair in Twilight’s eyes was too much to bear. She needs to know what really happened.
The filly pointed a hoof at one of the bookshelves. On it sat a series of large, leather-bound tomes. The princess’ hoof was centered on one in particular, a faded brown book with frayed edges and yellowed pages. “Twilight, can you bring me that one? I need to tell you something.”
The unicorn slowly nodded in agreement, her eyes still locked on her mentor. The book slowly floated off the shelf, flew over Twilight’s head, and opened up in front of Celestia. Carefully, the filly alicorn flipped through the pages, searching for the appropriate index. Twilight, however, was not as patient right now. “What is this?’
“Did you really think you were the first pony I mentored?” Celestia shook her head in mock disapproval. “No, I’ve had many students over the years. Who do you think first taught unicorns how to use magic? Or trained Star Swirl the Bearded?” She turned her head. “At least the second one. Stupid first one stole my lunch…”
“Huh?”
“Oh, never mind. In any case, I’ve always found time to help teach some of the most talented and gifted ponies in Equestria. They weren’t always skilled in magic, of course. Some became diplomats, others scientists or generals, and even a few artists and writers from time to time, but I had a hoof in teaching all of them. I like to keep a personal record, something to remember them by even after history has forgotten them.” The princess looked out the window with a forlorn expression. “I just wish they would stop forgetting them so quickly, sometimes.”
Finally, she stopped at the appropriate page. On it was drawn a picture of a pony the unicorn had never seen before. Twilight leaned over to catch a glimpse, only to be stopped when Celestia’s hoof rested itself on her snout. “Now Twilight, before I tell you all this, I want you to promise me something. Nothing I say can leave this room. I have spent a long time making sure everypony forgot who Kuchen was, and I would hate to see all that had work go to waste. Understand?” Twilight nodded in agreement. “Very well.”
Celestia’s leg moved out of the way, and Twilight caught her first glimpse of the deranged sorcerer himself. And…he looked absolutely normal. There was no disfigurations, no fanged teeth or enormous eyeballs or drooling expressions. Were she not already acquainted with his dark deeds, she would have mistaken him for just some other pony. Celestia caught her student’s surprise rather quickly. “I know what you’re thinking, and yes, this was drawn before he truly went insane. Although, looking back, it was rather hard to tell, even back then, that he was ever right in the head. But it was the good kind of crazy…”
----------
Just over five hundred years ago, Canterlot’s cobblestone streets were bustling with activity. Hundreds of ponies trotted and cantered down the alleys and byways of the capital city, while merchants peddled their wares in the central marketplace. The weather was the very picture of perfection, as it always was in a city that was 95% populated by unicorns. Which was wonderful, since the Summer Sun Celebration was forthcoming, giving everypony, noble and beggar alike, a reason to celebrate.
All activity in the East Quarter ceased, however, when a retinue of Royal Guards came marching down the street. And in the middle of their procession, nearly hidden beneath a shade-providing umbrella, was Princess Celestia herself. The common folk quickly bowed in reverence, something that only slightly irked the princess by this point. It was not like there was an actual purpose to her journey this day, either. She was merely wishing to see how her subjects were doing, especially with the festival coming ever closer. Granted, she could do without the umbrella, but her guards insisted that the sun she controlled was going to burn her unless she was protected at all-
“HOLD, YOU PUNY MORTALS!”
Everypony froze in midstep at the echoing, high-pitched squeal from the rooftops. There, standing on top of the local bank, was a small pink unicorn colt. On his sides sat a pair of hoofcrafted wings, obviously made of cloth and twigs. And standing next to him was a very humiliated blue pegasus colt, almost wishing he could just bury himself in a cloud and wait for this to be over.
A member of the guard’s face fell in alarm. “S-Stormwind? What in Celestia’s name are you doing up there?” He quickly turned to the princess. “N-No offense, your Highness.”
“None taken,” Celestia replied.
“He-Hello, father,” said the pegasus. “Listen, Kuchen and I were…”
“WE ARE GOING TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE!” the pink colt bellowed. “TODAY, A UNICORN IS GOING TO PIERCE THROUGH THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES AND ASCEND TO TRUE GREATNESS!”
Stormwind rubbed his forehead with one hoof. “What did we say about the shouting?”
Kuchen turned to his partner, giving him a very annoyed glance. “I thought we went over this, Stormy. The bigger the presentation, the more ponies will watch. We want to go down in history, right?”
“As heroes, not corpses!”
“I have heard enough, boy!” Stormwind’s father shouted. “Princess Celestia, with your permission, I would like to head right up there and give those two a lesson they won’t forget.”
The princess nodded. “Of course, Captain.”
“FOOLISH PONIES! You shall bow before the might of Kuchen, the winged unicorn!”
Before Stormwind could catch him, Kuchen took a few steps back, leaned forward, and made a running gallop towards the side of the roof. The very moment his front hoof touched the last tile, he leaped forward, his hooves outstretched in an attempt to catch as much air as possible. His horn glowed with frightening intensity, his magic powering the frantically beating wings.
Unfortunately, all his little adventure served to prove was the unbreakable law of gravity. The wings tore apart mere moments after liftoff, sending the screaming colt falling to the ground. Stromwind’s father turned about in midair to catch the foal, but fortunately for him, something large managed to stop his fall, before buckling forward in the mud.
It was right about then that Kuchen realized just what pony he landed on…
----------
“Wait...he crashed into you?” Twilight asked incredulously.
“Landed on my back is more like it,” said Celestia. “Thankfully, he wasn’t hurt. It turns out my body is the perfect cushion for mischievous little boys and their suicidal games.”
“B-But what does that…?”
“You’re the one who wanted to know about him.”
“I-I mean, how does ‘falling on the princess’ equal ‘becoming her student?’”
Celestia shrugged. “I was getting to that.”
----------
It didn’t take long to apprehend the two colts, or to discern where the pink one lived.
The Torte Family Bakery was a long-established fixture in this neck of Canterlot. Even before the princess had arrived, there was a line stretching clear out the door for today’s sale: a custard pie for one silver bit. The minute somepony saw the royal procession, however, the small bakery became the bustling center of activity for half the city.
Princess Celestia brought up the front, her coat still stained a splotchy brown from her latest encounter with dirt. Kuchen lay across her back, held down by the princess’ magic. Stormwind was equally held down on his father’s backside, the princess’ power being great enough to restrain two little ponies at once. Both wore faces that clearly expressed their impending doom, whether it be at the hooves of their princess or their parents.
The bakery’s inside was a simple affair. The wooden counter was splintered and worn with age, not helped by the various hot pans and tins that regularly graced its top. Through a large window in the back, a pony could see the actual kitchen, where at least four other ponies were scurrying about preparing the various breads, pies, cakes, and other delicacies for the day’s patrons. Out front, a teal Earth pony was busy helping the customers, striking up a friendly chat whenever possible, while a filly of about the same age as the two colts was busy cleaning a flour spill in one corner.
It didn’t take long for everypony to notice Celestia. The pony behind the counter was especially aghast when he saw just whose colt was draped across her back. “Y-Your Majesty!”
“Are we speaking with Mr. Torte?” the princess said, her voice about as blunt as a wooden club.
“Y-Y-Yes?” The Earth pony fell to the floor like a sack of dried potatoes. “H-How can we help you on this most blessed day?”
The Captain stomped over to the cowering stallion. The moment the two locked eyes, their very demeanors became far harsher and more confrontational. It was obvious the two had butted heads on more than one occasion. “Your oaf of a son just assaulted Princess Celestia! And what’s worse, he got my own darling boy involved with his criminal activities!”
The baker sprung back to his hooves, baring a set of rather unhygienic teeth. “Captain Ice, I would hardly consider your boy darling! In fact, my own son never got into trouble until he met that undisciplined runt of yours!”
“RUNT?! Stormwind’s instructors have all praised him as the greatest young flier in Equestria! Your son, on the other hoof, is a common baker!”
“At least he will grow up to be something productive, rather than waltzing about like a pompous, overweight buffoon!”
“SILENCE!”
The entire building shuddered and rocked with Princess Celestia’s voice. Everypony screamed and fell to the ground in mortal terror as a few pieces of the roof came tumbling down. Celestia placed a hoof on her mouth, feeling rather ashamed at causing undue property damage. She had forgotten just how far the Royal Canterlot Voice had fallen into disuse the last few years. Once she was sure she wouldn’t have to be rescuing everypony today, she removed her hoof and turned her attention to the two. “Mr. Torte, earlier today, your son tried to jump from a roof.” She motioned to the broken wings on Kuchen’s back. “He seemed to have thought these would allow him to fly.”
Torte angrily walked to his son, about as angry as a dragon finding a thief in his hoard. Kuchen tried to shrink back, but the princess’ magical grip was impenetrable. “Kuchen…is this true?”
“Well…Well…” He glanced back at the princess. She, in turn, gave him a look that said if he didn’t tell the truth, she was going to feed him to a manticore. “Yes. I…I thought it would work this time.”
Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow at this. “What does he mean, ‘This time?’”
“My layabout of a son thinks he’s some kind of genius inventor. Two months ago, he tried to build a sub-something or other!”
Kuchen scoffed. “It would have worked if I kept the window closed.”
“And before that, there was that spinning stick of his!”
“You mean my helicopter?”
Torte pointed a hoof right at Kuchen’s eyes. “Listen here, young pony! You are a baker. Your father is a baker, and his father was a baker, and his father’s mother was a baker.” He pointed his raised hoof to his flank, which bore a picture of a sponge cake. “You see this cutie mark? One day, you will have one just like this on your own side. Ever since the invention of the cutie mark, every Torte has had a pastry on their side.”
“W-Well, what if my special destiny does not involve bread and pudding?” Kuchen whined. “I want to be a scientist!”
“Um…do you really need us here?” asked Princess Celestia.
Torte made no move to acknowledge the princess by this point. “In the name of all that is good in Equestria, why are you unable to learn your place in this world?”
“JUST A MINUTE!”
The kitchen door came crashing open with a heavy buck. A bright pink unicorn waltzed out, her eyes burning with intense anger and rage at the Earth pony. “What’s all this I hear about our boy and baking?”
“This is none of your business, Toffee!”
“That’s my son you’re talking about, you dumb oaf! That colt knew how to read before he could walk! He’s far too smart to be stuck here running a bakery just because his father’s brain didn’t work right!”
“And just what do you have in mind for him? We can’t afford to send him to school, and even if we could, he’d just drive everypony in there bonkers!”
Finally, Princess Celestia could take no more. She let out a loud cough, immediately drawing everypony’s attention back to her. “My apologies, but we seem to have wandered into a domestic dispute. We merely wish to drop off your son.”
She turned back to the still-terrified pony on her back. “By the way, we would be most interested in seeing some of your work. Some of the experiments sound…intriguing.”
Kuchen’s eyes lit up in wonderment. Princess Celestia, the most powerful pony in Equestria and an actual goddess, had actually complimented his work. Granted, he would have been much happier if she hadn’t floated him off her back just then, right into the hooves of his waiting parents.
The Captain turned to his own, equally scared son. “And just wait until I get home tonight!” Stormwind cowered beneath his forehooves, enjoying the feeling of an untanned hide while it lasted.
Her business concluded, Princess Celestia and her entourage walked out of the bakery. The alicorn only stopped briefly at the doorway, looking back inquisitively at the still-scared colt. Perhaps something really could be made of him…
----------
Twilight sulked. “And that was it? He didn’t have to get dragged to some big exam at eight in the morning and traumatize himself and his parents for life? He just became your student after smashing into you?”
“Oh, of course not,” Celestia said with a wave of her hoof. “I was just curious about what the lad had thought up. Most of his plans were based around machines, and being quite young, most of them were either impossible or impractical at the time. But then there was something else…”
----------
“And you say a child drew this?”
Starsign, Guildmaster of the Canterlot Astronomy Guild and great-great-great granddaughter of Keysore, stared in astonishment at the crude piece of parchment before them. A black circle was drawn on the paper, obviously representing the moon. Outside of the circle, four black specks were placed in near-perfect position in relation to the stellar objects. Princess Celestia pointed a hoof at the four specks. “Do you see these stars here?”
“Y-Yes, those,” Starsign mumbled. “So far, you have stopped every attempt to name them. And they do not subscribe to the same pattern as the rest of your night sky. We…We have been ignoring them for the last hundred years or so.”
“A costly mistake,” said Celestia. “If you would compare this chart to one of your own, we can assure you there is a significant difference.”
Starsign quickly responded, levitating up one of the most recent charts with the four still there. Sure enough, the stars on Kuchen’s drawing were closer than those on the official records. “It appears this child has made a mistake.”
Celestia shook her head. “There is no mistake, I can assure you. The stars are drifting closer to the moon.”
Starsign’s jaw dropped. “Wh-What?”
“We just needed to confirm some things.” Celestia rolled up the parchment and floated it into one of her attendant’s saddlebags. “If you will excuse us, we need to finish some business.”
----------
Back in what was her sister’s office, Luna paced back and forth, dictating a letter to her assistant. “And furthermore, Mayor Firebrand, I can assure you that the Equestrian Government is doing everything in our power to lower the cost of food. However, this season has been particularly rough, and until the incidents regarding Trottingham’s grain supply and Fillydelphia’s reconstruction have been resolved, our hooves are financially tied. We shall keep you informed of any developments in the situation. Signed, Luna, Princess of Equestria, Steward of the Moon, and Mistress of the Heavenly-”
“Um, your Highness?” Ruby interjected. “C-Can you maybe shorten your title a little? There’s only so much room on the page.”
Luna sighed. “Very well. Signed, Princess Luna of Equestria.”
Ruby finished her writing with a few quick strokes before wrapping the parchment together. Luna floated the royal seal off the desk and stamped the letter closed, silently prompting Ruby to throw the thing into her bags for mailing later. “Well, that is another task complete. How far along are we, attendant?”
Ruby glanced over another, unfurled scroll. On it was a long, long list of duties Luna wanted to finish before the night began. “Well, so far we’ve complained about children’s books to the Educational Department, reviewed enlistment numbers for the military, paid an invoice for grain from the Griffon Kingdoms, and just now we’ve responded to the Mayor of Manehatten’s concerns about food prices.”
Luna smiled and nodded, silently congratulating herself on yet another small victory. Feeling more than a little smug, she turned to Lofty. “And you, child. Are you finally impressed with the outstanding work that goes on here?”
Lofty shrugged. “I guess.”
Luna’s mouth turned into a heavy frown. “You guess? We just answered the desperate pleas of half of Equestria. How is that unimpressive?”
“But you didn’t really do anything.”
“Did not do anything?” Luna could feel frustration welling up inside. “I just composed a string of official responses. Soon, the ponies that read them will enact the policy changes, which will make Equestria a nicer place to live.”
Lofty was quiet for a few seconds. “But you didn’t do anything. You just…stood there and talked.”
Ruby quickly trotted to her daughter’s side, giving her a gentle pat on the back with one of her hooves. “Princess Luna is, well, a princess. You see, Lofty, when you become a princess, there’s a whole lot of rules that say what you can and can’t do. And Equestria is a big place, so she can’t be everywhere at once. That’s why she asks other ponies to help her with her work.” She flashed a smile at a rather miffed Luna, the kind of smile that screamed please-don’t-kill-me-because-of-what-my-daughter-said.
“That…is a rather accurate statement,” Luna replied. “And so you see, Lofty, that being ruler of all of Equestria is…”
Their conversation was interrupted when something began shaking underneath the floor. Before anypony could react, the royal carpet was thrown aside by an opening trap door. A lone pink pony, Pinkie Pie, emerged from the darkness below, covered in dust and cobwebs but otherwise unharmed. “Phew! I gotta tell Princess Celestia to get those things cleaned. No wonder nopony’s used them in five hundred years!”
All three of the other ponies took a few steps back, eyeing the mass of pink fur with surprise and alarm. Pinkie quickly realized she was being watched, and smiled accordingly. “Oh hey, Princess Luna! I was wondering, could you tell me where Princess Celestia and Twilight are? I…I have some secrets I gotta tell them. Secret secrets!”
Luna took a moment to compose herself, wiping a few stray specks of dust off her face with one fetlock before addressing her guest. “Miss Pie, I was under the impression you had left for Ponyville earlier this morning. Why are you back here? And more importantly, why are you tunneling underneath Canterlot Castle?”
“I didn’t want anypony else to see me, DUH!” Pinkie said with an exaggerated gasp. “But we’ll sort out the small stuff later! Right now, I need to talk to Twilight and Princess Celestia! I may have told some teensy-weensy lies yesterday, and-”
Luna’s eyes narrowed in a flash. “Miss Dream, Lofty, leave the room.” Her attendant was stunned, but nonetheless grabbed her filly by the tail and dragged her out of the office without a moment’s hesitation. Once she was sure there was nopony listening through the door, Luna continued. “I assume this has something to do with your…immunity to whatever happened to the others last night?”
“Y-Yes,” Pinkie sighed. “It’s not like I wanted that to happen, but it’s just who I am. All the Pies are immune to those spells. Well, except for the one that lets him talk through your brain, cause hey, we’re all just a bunch of puppet ponies until he can return! But since that didn’t work out, I guess we’re immune to that, too!”
Any other pony would have been too bewildered or incensed to make heads or tails of what Pinkie Pie was rambling about. Luna, on the other hoof, could already see where the pieces were leading. “I take it then that you are a descendant of this ‘Kuchen?’”
“Um…yes,” Pinkie nervously answered. “That’s why it’s so important that I talk to them! Especially Twilight. I did something really bad to her this morning, and I have to…”
“You lied to me.”
Pinkie’s voice froze in its tracks. “What?”
“You said you dodged the spell when it was cast last night, but instead you were naturally immune. And furthermore, the same pony that created that spell is…in your head, you said?”
Pinkie shrank back. She had expected coldness from Celestia, but somehow Luna’s gaze was a hundred times worse. “Well…yeah. I mean, every Pie knows at least a little about him. We even know a little bit about what kind of spells he used. That’s the other reason I have to find them! I can help Twilight find a cure!”
Luna’s eyes narrowed, as a terribly familiar echo intertwined itself with her voice. “So, you deliberately withheld evidence that could have helped my sister, lied to your princess, lied to your friends, and then broke back into the castle?”
Pinkie could feel her doom approaching, but was far too scared at this point to run. “Oh…yeah, I guess I did that. No hard feelings, right?”
----------
A few weeks passed since the incident, and Kuchen’s lot in life was no better.
He had sent a few of his designs to the palace. Most of them were scribbles, and even he knew more than a few were impossible, but Princess Celestia had asked to see them. He also didn’t have Stormwind to play with anymore, ever since his father shipped him off to the Military Academy. Kuchen had thought about going there himself, but a scrawny peasant unicorn with no magic wasn’t an ideal candidate for recruitment, so he found himself passed over time and again.
As the days passed, and the pain in his hind quarters ceased, Kuchen’s life pretty much returned to how it always was. By day, he’s help in the bakery, whether it be delivering to customers or helping one of the staff’s fillies, Milky, clean up the shop. By night, he’d read through the books he “borrowed” from the local magic schools to study things such as astronomy, astrology, telekinesis, craftsponyship, and even a few courses in how to behave in social gatherings. He had no idea how you levitated your teacup was so important.
Then one night, everything changed. Kuchen and his parents were busy closing up the shop, and were almost ready to head upstairs for the night, when they heard the loud knock on the door. Torte groaned and started back to the door, shouting, “We’re closed! No special orders today!”
“We believe you will have time for us, Mr. Torte.”
Torte and Toffee gasped in surprise at the voice. It was the same warm, smoothing voice that had graced the bakery only a few weeks prior. Even Kuchen was shocked to hear that pony again. Gripping the handle with his mouth, Torte pulled the door open, revealing Princess Celestia and a few of her guards. Thankfully, however, Stormwind’s father was nowhere to be seen.
All three ponies went straight to the bowing position. “H-How can we help you, your Majesty?” asked Toffee.
Princess Celestia took a few steps into the bakery, her guards immediately fanning out around her in case somepony came at her with some sourdough. Celestia’s eyes locked onto the cowering parents. “We wish to speak to you about your son.”
Even in the midst of his growing panic, Torte managed to eyeball his son with a gaze capable of peeling paint. “Wh-What did he do this time?”
“It is not a question of what he has done, but what he can do, given the proper training and motivation.” The mother and father pony simply looked at each other in stunned confusion. Celestia sighed before continuing. “What we mean to say is that your son appears to have a talent for scientific inquiry and study. However, without an actual education, we fear his natural abilities may go to waste.”
Toffee’s right eye twitched the princess’ speech. “...We beg your pardon?”
Princess Celestia stifled an agonized groan before wandering over to the absolutely mortified colt. “Kuchen, we would like to enroll you in one of our academies in Canterlot. Work hard, and I am certain you will find your true calling within the scientific community.”
----------
The pink colt couldn’t believe it. One minute he was afraid his head would be stuck on a pike outside the city gates (whatever that means), and the next he was inside Canterlot Castle, standing next to the princess herself. The guards surrounding the two were a little intimidating, flashing their wings if Kuchen so much as glanced at Celestia, but other than that it was one of the most exciting times of his life.
The procession stopped at a large study, complete with a fireplace and everything. Books and scrolls were already piled up, ready for the eager student to look them over. The guards bowed to their monarch before closing the doors and returning to their normal duties. By the time Celestia had lit the fireplace, Kuchen was practically biting his hooves in anticipation. “Wh-What will be our first subject today?”
Princess Celestia, satisfied that the fire was officially roaring, made her way over to the great pile. “Let us begin with an assessment of your skills. We understand you have had no real school experience, so it is important that we know where the instructors and tutors are to begin with you.”
Kuchen couldn’t help but feel more than a little deflated by Celestia’s remark. “In other words, I am too far behind.”
“It is nothing to be ashamed of, Kuchen. Most ponies never even have the chance to attend a university, much less devote themselves to a course of study. We have been trying to make education easier for ponies across Equestria, but so far progress has been…slow.” It would do the colt no good to hear how the aristocracy kept subverting or killing her proposals, all because they were afraid the lower classes would rise up or some nonsense like that. You could only terrify so many ponies into submission at a time, after all. “That is why we have brought you here tonight. Your year at the academy begins in a few weeks, and we must bring you up to the correct level before you begin attending.”
Kuchen pawed nervously at the ground. “W-Well, when you say it like that, I guess it is all right.”
Celestia gave as friendly and cheerful a smile as she could. “You are going to go far, my little pony. Just remember to work hard and keep up in your studies, and there will be no limit to what you can accomplish.”
----------
“…Wasn’t that the same pep talk you gave me during my first lesson?” asked Twilight.
“Well, yes. It’s an old one, but it still works.” Celestia grinned and rolled on her back, shifting into the warm memories of Twilight’s tutelage. “I can still remember you coming to our lessons, fretting about some upcoming exam or homework assignment like it was an army of Parasprites marching down on you. Those first few weeks with Kuchen were much of the same, only with less patience and more…well…”
Twilight eyed her quiet mentor suspiciously. “Princess?”
Celestia rolled back onto her belly, looking about as shy as an introverted bookworm at a frat party. “You have to understand, Twilight Sparkle. Things were much different back then. The language was much less formal, and the Royal Canterlot Voice was no longer the preferred way of speaking princess-to-subject, but there was still plenty of protocol to observe. Things like that have a tendency to separate oneself from the rest of the world. Perhaps that was why I threw myself into them after what happened to Luna.”
Twilight moved a hoof under the book’s cover. “Princess Celestia, it’s all right if you don’t want to continue. I’m sure if I read through enough books, I can…”
Celestia’s hoof stopped at Twilight’s lips. “No. I promised you I would tell you everything about what happened, and I will.”
The filly cleared her throat before continuing. “After a few weeks, Kuchen was well enough to start attending actual classes. He was sent to one of the best boarding schools in Canterlot, and after a few false stars, soon found his true calling…”
----------
Kuchen didn’t walk into Celestia’s study so much as he bounced. The princess, already seated on one of the palace’s red cushions, stared at the sight in confusion. “My student, may I ask just what you are doing?”
Kuchen landed simultaneously on all four hooves, a proud grin on his face. He twisted his back side towards the princess, showing his last acquisition. “I finally have my cutie mark!”
Celestia jumped to her hooves and walked up to the colt. Sure enough, his once-blank flank was now adorned with a cutie mark: a four-pointed star floating over a book. “That is…a very strange mark. Tell us, when did it appear?”
“During Magic class! I was sitting there, learning about Clover the Clever and the creation of the Resonating Heat library of spells, when it suddenly appeared!”
Celestia raised a dubious eyebrow. “Really? Because we have never heard of anypony earning their cutie mark through…studying.”
“B-But it is the truth!” Kuchen bellowed.
Celestia wanted to push the issue further. A mare of her impossible age had heard every fib and lie ever conceived by pony minds. Unfortunately, their studies and workload came first. “Very well. No matter how you earned it, we are glad that you have finally found your special talent”
And perhaps, she thought, this will help my own plans.
----------
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “What plans?”
Celestia was quiet for a short while, her mind weighing the pros and cons of telling her student the stupid, stupid thing she tried to do five hundred years ago. Nonetheless, the truth eventually won out. “Do you remember the prophecy of Nightmare Moon’s return? What did it say about the stars?”
“That on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars would aid in her escape.”
“Do you know how those stars got there in the first place?”
Twilight shook her head. “I just thought they were part of the night sky. You know, like the other constellations and stars.”
“It’s not quite that simple,” Celestia said. “When I first…banished my sister, I never intended for it to be permanent. I knew enough about Nightmare Moon to realize that her own power was mostly the same as Luna’s, only multiplied a hundred times over. My attempt to use the Elements failed to purify Luna, but it did weaken that monster enough that she couldn’t escape. Still, I knew she would try over and over again to bring herself back to Equestria, and sooner or later she would succeed on her own. That was why I put those stars there.”
Twilight’s jaw almost crashed through the floor. “Y-You mean you released Nightmare Moon?”
“In a manner of speaking,” Celestia continued. “I put the stars there, and Nightmare Moon took the bait. She used what remained of her power to draw them towards her, knowing that eventually they would be close enough for her to form them into a Focusing Circle. With that, she could easily channel all of her power, breaking free from the moon and returning to reap her revenge. What she didn’t know, however, was the exactly halfway through the process, the stars would be at just the right position for somepony down here to help spring her out.”
“Th-Then that was what this was about?” Twilight gasped. “That was why you made Kuchen your student? You were using him to try and free Princess Luna earlier than the prophecy had said?”
“Of course I was!” Celestia snapped. Twilight took a few steps back in alarm, and the princess quickly cooled herself down. “I knew that Nightmare Moon would not be at full strength when she returned, and even with my help she would have exhausted herself trying to break through my barriers. That would be my chance to finally destroy whatever it was that had possessed Luna, and perhaps even bring my sister back.”
“And he agreed to all this?”
“Well...no,” Celestia said. Her eyes drifted to the left in sheepish embarrassment. “You see, I had tried to keep what happened to Luna quiet. I knew I would be able to save her some day, but if everypony immediately connected her to Nightmare Moon, it would make things more complicated. It...obviously didn’t work, especially after that spectacle when she first came back, but back then nopony knew there had ever been a Princess Luna. Nightmare Moon was a separate beast entirely, a monster that sprang up one night to gobble up foals. So, if everything worked out, I could have Luna back, we wouldn’t need to find ponies that could use the Elements, and everypony would be happy.”
Her face fell. “It was a stupid plan. I knew that the Elements of Harmony were the only way to truly have my sister back, not the jealous, twisted wreck she became before the dark powers possessed her. But you have to understand, it had nearly been five hundred years. On their own, that many years would be insubstantial, but I was so worried that I would never see Luna’s wonderful face again…”
Celestia’s door slammed open, revealing a perplexed Pinkie Pie trapped in a dark blue aura. Before Twilight could shout her friend’s name in surprise, the pony was thrust inside the room. Her captor, Princess Luna, marched in after her, closing the door on the utterly confused guards behind her. Celestia hopped to her hooves in a rage, while Twilight Sparkle was more surprised than anything else. “Good day, little sister. I believe this pony has some things to answer for.”
“What is the meaning of this, Luna?” Celestia yelled.
“Miss Pie has admitted to concealing important information about the Youth Restoration Spell! Furthermore, she broke into the palace through a secret passageway!”
“We already know that.” Celestia motioned to the still-stunned Twilight. “In fact, I was in the middle of telling Twilight all about Kuchen.”
Luna glared at her sister. “If you knew all this, then why did you not tell me?”
“Because it wasn’t important at the time.”
“Um, princesseseses?” Pinkie mumbled. “Don’t want to be rude, but can you please let me go? I’ve got a lot of explainin’ to do, and I reeeeeaaaaaaaaally don’t wanna do it while floating. Unless it’s on a balloon, ‘cause balloons make everything AWEsome!”
Luna sighed and powered down her horn. The aura around Pinkie dissipated, sending the pony plopping to the floor. Twilight galloped up to her friend, the same one that had terrified her only a few hours prior. “Pinkie, are you all right?”
Pinkie looked up from the ground, her eyes locking with Twilight’s. She could feel something warm welling up under her eyes, and it took all her self-control (what little of it she had to begin with) to keep from tackling the unicorn in the mother of all hugs. “H-Hello, Twilight. I-I just wanted to say, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
Twilight smiled as best she could right now. “Don’t worry about it, Pinkie. I really shouldn’t have gone behind your back like that. And I can understand you wanting to protect your family.”
Luna glanced back at her sister. “Is there something I should know about this?”
“We were in the middle of story time before you barged in,” Celestia said. “Would you like to stay, Pinkie? I think it might clear up a few things about what really happened.”
Pinkie climbed back to her hooves. She didn’t even dare look at the princess. “Oh, I know all about that already. I know how you walked up to my mean old ancestor and snapped his neck like a piece of celery. Then you banished everypony else in his family so you wouldn’t have to be reminded of just how lousy a-”
Luna’s horn began to glow, sending a not-so-subtle threat towards Pinkie. The Earth pony squirmed under her maleficent gaze. “I mean…sure, why not?”
“I…suppose I should know about this too,” Luna said. “I have been wondering how a common unicorn managed to find the same magic I used as Nightmare Moon.”
“Well then, everypony gather around and listen up,” Celestia said. “Kuchen had been my student for a few years, and it didn’t take long to figure out what his cutie mark actually meant. His brain was built for studying and research. He could read a few pages on somepony like Eclipse the Wise, and bring you back a whole research paper on every facet of how her spells worked. Which was why I needed him to help me research something…”
----------
“You want me to look into Alicorns?”
Kuchen, now a young yearling, followed Princess Celestia down the steps of the Canterlot Library. The princess’ face was solemn as they went farther and farther down, into the deepest and most forbidden sections of Equestria’s oldest magic library. “That is correct, Kuchen. We wish for you to form a better understanding of our form, and how we embody the best traits of all three races.”
“B-But what is there to know? You are our sun goddess, the winged unicorn, the only Alicorn to have ever lived. What else can I possibly tell you?”
The two finally reached the basement level, the stairs stopping just before a large, ancient wooden door. A pair of guards stood along both sides of the entrance, shying their eyes away from Celestia’s light spell. Upon receiving a nod from their princess, the two pushed the door open, revealing what looked like an entirely separate library. Dust and debris filled every inch of the walls, while the actual books and their shelves looked like they had not been touched in hundreds of years. The only new furniture was a small table, centered just past the door.
Kuchen stared at the sight in stunned astonishment. “Princess, what is this place?”
“Not all the books ever written have made their way into circulation upstairs. This is where we store the tomes that can still have a use, but are far too dangerous to hold upstairs. There are some things ponies are just not ready for, we fear.”
Kuchen didn’t quite understand, but tried to keep the conversation going. “So…what am I to do?”
Celestia sighed. She didn’t like having to tell anypony about this next part. “We need to know how magic affects ponies like us. As you have already surmised, we are not like normal ponies. The magic we command resembles that of unicorns, but its actual power is far different.”
“And…why is this important?”
“We wish to publish your findings, to give other ponies a greater understanding of us. Perhaps then, they will not look upon us with such fear and dread.” She was lying, of course; the real plan was to learn how Nightmare Moon managed to possess Luna. That way, she would know the spells to use when her prison door was opened.
Kuchen walked over to the table, setting his saddlebag full of materials onto its surface. “I understand, Princess Celestia. I will get to work right away.”
----------
The years passed, seasons changed, and Kuchen kept on working and learning.
In the time since he had been given his royal assignment, he had seemingly made tremendous progress. The forbidden little library had works dating back to the Pre-Classical Era, detailing ancient forms of magic unknown to anypony in the present day. Finding something that mentioned Celestia in any context other than “The greatest pony ever please don’t kill me I have a family to feed” was another challenge, but the young stallion could feel things clicking into place.
At the same time, Celestia had allowed him to pursue his own experiments in his spare time. Before long, he had discovered both physiological and magical similarities between the races, something that greatly excited him for some reason. He was also hard at work developing his own spells, scribbling them down for inclusion in his very own spell book. Celestia was proud of his work, and that made him more than satisfied.
And then, on the very day he reached adulthood, everything began to fall apart.
----------
“What do you mean, fall apart?” Luna asked. “It sounds to me like he was doing just fine.”
“It was…more complicated than that,” Celestia responded. “We were fast running out of time, and I was getting a little…anxious. And then there was Kuchen’s home life. By that time, he was already married, with one newborn foal and another on the way.”
----------
Kuchen was seated on the ground floor of the Canterlot Library, reading up on some basic biology, when he heard the sound of heavy plate armor behind him. Before he could turn, a large, unfurry hoof clamped down on his shoulder. “Mr. Kuchen, you are under arrest.”
The pink colt spun about, only to find himself face-to-face with a blue pegasus guard. Fear soon gave way to surprise after he managed to get a good long look at the pony’s face. “Stormwind?”
“The one and only!” the pegasus shouted, eliciting a hush from the rest of the library’s patrons. “It has been far too long.”
“I had no idea you were out of school!” Kuchen exclaimed, bringing another round of hushes. “So, what are you doing here? I was sure you would be commanding your own battalion by now.”
“My father gave me a job on the palace guard. I was just trying on my armor today. Starting tomorrow, I will take up a post outside the palace kitchens.” He slapped his pink buddy on the back. “And what has been going on with you?”
“Well…I married Milky about two years ago.”
Stormwind gasped. “You mean, that same filly that worked in the bakery?”
Kuchen smiled. “Yes sir. Already have a little filly, with another foal on the way. And thanks to Princess Celestia, I have a stable job with…”
“Kuchen.”
Both ponies spun towards the library door, their eyes widening as they saw Princess Celestia enter. Everypony quickly fell to the floor as the alicorn slowly walked to her student. “Y-Yes, your Highness?”
“Kuchen, I need to talk to you at the palace. Private Stormwind, you are excused.”
----------
Kuchen could tell something was wrong with Celestia. Any and all friendliness was gone, as was the patience she usually carried in all things. By the time the two had entered Celestia’s study, he was feeling like he was just a little colt again, facing certain doom at the hooves of his ruler.
The minute the door slammed shut behind them, Celestia spun about, her eyes almost searing into Kuchen’s. “You have not submitted any reports in months. We need to know what has been happening.”
Kuchen gulped. “Well, your Highness, things have been much slower recently. I have looked through every single lead I can find, and I’m afraid I may be reaching a dead end. I have already given you everything I can about enchantments, curses, and how they can relate to a being like yourself. I have even included such findings in my own experiments. But there is only so much I can…”
“If you are having so much difficulty, then why are we seeing you in activities other than studying?”
Kuchen raised an inquisitive brow. “Your Highness?”
“What you are doing here is far more important than anything else in Equestria at this moment. You are delving into mysteries that have confounded ponies since our species began, and at this rate, you will never be able to give us the information we require.”
“A-Are you asking me to separate myself from my family?” Kuchen said.
“Yes, and more,” Celestia continued. “We are running out of time, and such…distractions will only get in the way of your progress. When we found you, we knew you would be destined for greatness. This is your chance to prove it.”
Kuchen could feel something inside him snap. For the first time in his life, he felt well and truly angry at his mentor. “Do you mean to say serving you is more important than my own happiness? Your Majesty, I have done everything you have asked me to, but this is too far! I will not give up everything just so your little vanity project can be completed!”
“VANITY PROJECT?!” The entire room echoed and shook with Celestia’s voice. “You have no idea what your work is truly meant for, do you? With this, one of the greatest tragedies in Equestrian history will be undone. And you, my boy, were just gutter trash when we found you. We can easily send you back there! You have no friends, no family, nothing to distract you from your mission. DO YOU UNDERSTAND US?!”
Kuchen was silent, stunned, unable to process what he was witnessing. It was some time before he spoke again. “Understood.”
With that, he slowly walked out of the room. Celestia watched him leave, waited for the door to close, and then let out a deep breath. Now, after he had left, was the only time she could intone what she really meant to say. “I am sorry, my faithful student. I promise you, this will all be worth it once Luna is free. Just…please be patient.”
----------
Celestia’s room was dead quiet. Twilight and Luna shifted their eyes uneasily to Pinkie, who was staring at the filly princess with unwavering certainty. Celestia herself didn’t seem particularly proud of what her past self had done. “Wait…this was all about me?” asked Luna.
Twilight nodded. “She wanted Kuchen to find a way to release Nightmare Moon early.”
Luna’s head flipped right back to Celestia. “Sister, of all the foalish things you have done, why would you want to do something like that?”
“I wasn’t thinking,” Celestia said quietly. “I wanted so badly to have you back that I tried to push Kuchen to work harder. But after that, it was different. My student locked himself in the library basement for a week straight, not even leaving for meals or to use the little colt’s room. When he came back, he was…different.”
Pinkie nodded. “Yep. Different’s the word for it. ‘Crazy’ and ‘Obsessed’ might work, too.”
“Anyway,” Celestia continued, “about a year later, Kuchen left the palace. He said he wanted to explore Equestria, as well as learn of the different kinds of magic used across the land. I let him go, on the condition that he continue working on my project. He seemed glad enough to do it, so I didn’t think twice about it. That is, until he stopped writing. That was when I started hearing about what he was doing. Ponies from every walk of life were reporting that an ‘evil unicorn’ was spreading chaos across Equestria.”
“And so you hunted your wayward student down, stripped him of his magic, and banished him from Equestria,” Luna finished.
Celestia shook her head sadly. “No. I made yet another stupid move and let Kuchen run free. I…I couldn’t even bring myself to believe it was really him that was doing this. I had my guards split between looking for Kuchen and bringing in the evil unicorn. And then, it got worse…”
----------
It was with great perplexion that Stormwind received Kuchen’s letter. He had heard nothing from his friend in years, ever since he broke out to explore magic’s secrets away from Celestia’s guidance. The princess occasionally inquired if the Private knew anything about his progress, as some kind of deadline was fast approaching, but he could only tell her that things were quiet.
It was suspicious, however, how quickly Kuchen’s disappearance coincided with the stories of mass magical misuse across Equestria. Ponies were disappearing under mysterious circumstances, sometimes whole villages at a time, and yet there was no sign of the perpetrator. Even attempts to follow the magic back to its source failed. Whatever was doing this was immune to even the most powerful of the Unicorn Council.
Still, neither Stormwind or Celestia could suspect Kuchen of any of this. He was a hard-working stallion, if a tad goofy in the head at times. Nothing could compel somepony like that to such wanton cruelty and evil.
And yet, just a few days ago, a letter suddenly appeared in his mailbox, addressed from Kuchen to Stormwind. With trembling hooves, the pegasus opened the envelope, revealing what looked like a normal letter:
----------
Stormwind,
I am on the verge of something great.
I need to speak with you in person. I have something to give Princess Celestia, but I cannot leave my work unattended. Attached is a map to my house. Make sure to bring it with you.
Do not tell Celestia you are coming here. I want this to be a surprise.
Hurry,
Kuchen
----------
Stormwind responded immediately, requesting leave from Canterlot under the pretense of investigating a possible clue in the Seapony case. Celestia appeared curious, even suspicious of such a request, but still allowed him to go. On his way out, he also stopped by to visit Kuchen’s family. With their father missing for several years by this point, he was almost a third parent to the three kids. Milky was still holding out hope that her husband’s delusions would wash away with time, even though Stormwind knew it seemed almost impossible.
His affairs around town finished, Stormwind flew off towards Equestria’s countryside. It didn’t take long to find the map’s destination: a small cottage in the middle of a vast dirt field. Kuchen did say he wanted solitude with his work, but there wasn’t a single living thing to be seen anywhere.
Kuchen was already standing outside, next to a small wooden crate. He gave a friendly smile as the pegasus landed, but even then, Stormwind could see something…off about him. His eyes were shaking unsteadily, and his voice had a small gravelly tone to it. “Thank you for coming, Stormwind. It has been far too long.”
Stormwind’s hooves made a heavy clop as they touched ground. The pegasus nodded at his friend, his armor clinking and clanking as he did so. “Yes it has. I assume this has something to do with your work for the princess?”
“In a manner of speaking.” He motioned to the box. “I’ve finished my latest batch of writings, and need them delivered to Princess Celestia on the double. I believe she will find them most interesting.”
Stormwind took a few steps towards the box and reached out to open it, only to be stopped by Kuchen’s own foreleg. “I implore you, do not open it. The contents are for Princess Celestia only.”
“I…see.” Stormwind took a few steps back, not wanting to upset his already disturbed friend. “In any case, I am certain the princess will be more than thrilled to hear of your progress. It has been some time since you were last in Canterlot.” The pegasus’ eyes drooped. “Milky wanted you to know she still wants you back.”
“She worries too much,” said Kuchen. “I am doing important work out here, things that will change the fate of Equestria forever.” His face suddenly contorted as a whistling sound broke through the inside of the cottage. “Drat! I forgot to reset that valve! W-Would you be kind enough to wait here a moment?”
The pink colt darted off into the cottage, leaving a trail of dust in his wake. Stormwind stared at the spot his friend had just been standing on for a few more seconds before turning back to the box. His whole body trembled as insatiable curiosity worked its way through his brain. With one hoof, he slowly slid off the box’s lid.
Inside sat a large tome, a perfect match for the spell books that dominated the Canterlot Library. The sight was comforting at first; after all, Kuchen’s task was to study magic. It wasn’t long, though, before the pegasus began to feel a growing uneasiness about the book itself. Stormwind traced a fetlock over the cover.
It felt like flesh.
“You really should not have done that.”
Stormwind turned to confront the speaker, only to find his entire body suddenly paralyzed in a telekinetic field. Kuchen stood at the door of his cottage, eyeing the pegasus with glaring disapproval. “I did not wish for it to end this way. I wanted you to share this glorious dawn of a new Ponydom with me. But if you cannot obey a simple order, then what use are you to me?”
“K-K-Kuchen,” Stormwind ached out. “Wh-Why?”
Kuchen merrily trotted up to his captive prey, a gleefully twisted smile growing on his face. “If you want to accomplish something great, you need to show that you deserve your goals. And besides, you would have gotten in my way anyway, once Princess Celestia knew I know what she knows. And now, if you’ll excuse me…”
Kuchen grunted, igniting his horn even more. From inside the cottage, a large knife floated through a window and up to the two. “I do believe my work requires something extra.”
----------
Celestia’s patience was wearing thin. Even amidst the blue daytime sky, the stars were already nearing their ideal position. If she was to free her sister, she needed Kuchen’s research right now. And yet, despite having some of the best trackers and guards in Equestria on the case, Kuchen continued to elude her. He had not even sent a letter in months. And now Captain Stormwind had taken leave for a personal matter, leaving the princess with no additional means to locate her wayward student.
She was about ready to go looking for him herself when her chamber’s door opened, revealing a unicorn servant. She bowed before the princess, her back falling slightly from the large crate she was carrying. “Your Highness, this package just arrived for you.”
Celestia stifled an urge to cheer and hop around the room in triumph. No doubt within this lay all of Kuchen’s research, and with it, five hundred years of torment would finally end. She waved her servant away, waited until she was completely alone, and opened the box.
Inside was a massive tome, the likes of which she had never seen. Curious, she traced a hoof along the cover. She recoiled almost immediately. “Is that…dragon skin?”
Next, she floated the thing out of the box and opened the book to the first page. She almost dropped it when she saw globs of something white sticking between the binding and the pages. “That…That’s real glue!”
And then she read the title page: “The Arcanus E Draconus, by Kuchen the Uplifted.”
She blasted the book away, her breathing becoming slow and labored. The letters were not ink, but blood. More specifically, it reminded her of dried griffon’s blood, a sight she had not seen in millennia. And then she glanced back down at the box itself. Shoved at the very bottom was a smaller package, wrapped in brown paper and tied with string. On top of it sat a letter:
“Dear Celestia,
By the time you receive this, it will be too late. You made a mistake entrusting me with this knowledge, and soon, everypony in Equestria will know you as you truly are. But do not fear, I bear no real malice against you. After all, a pretender on the throne still has feelings. So, I left you a little something to remember me by. The first was my life’s work, the Arcanus E Draconus. The second is something to keep you warm at night.”
Celestia knew she shouldn’t look. She should have just hurled the whole package into the sun. Even so, she could not help but pull the string loose. The paper collapsed, revealing a blue, slightly furry blanket.
A blue, slightly furry blanket with a cutie mark...
----------
“He…He…He sent you what?” Twilight gasped.
“I-If you wouldn’t mind, I do not wish to dwell on that,” Celestia said. It was obvious from the crack in her voice that she was holding back her own reaction to the event, an admirable feat considering how her filly brain kept pushing such things to the forefront. Pinkie shrank back into a corner of the room, looking rather ashamed of herself. Luna, meanwhile, felt her breakfast working its way back up her throat, and as it turned out, boiled cabbage and radishes do not taste all that good either way.
“Th-That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard!” Luna gasped. “I mean, yes, what I did was terrible, but…but I never murdered a pony!”
“It was just then that I could not deny the truth any longer. Kuchen was the evil unicorn everypony had been reporting. And even worse, he had left something attached to the bottom of Skywind’s…remains. It was a map to his cottage. He wanted me to find him. So, I gathered a few of my best guards and headed out...”
----------
The mad pony’s little ramshackle cottage was a far cry from his luxurious quarters at the palace, and was even worse than the bakery Celestia had found him in as but a young colt. No trees or plants grew near the house, nor did any living thing dare set foot on the cursed soil. Even Celestia’s royal guards were reluctant to approach the place, lest some terrible fiend emerge from the ground and devour them whole.
Celestia, however, was not afraid of Kuchen’s dark sorcery. She had survived Discord and Nightmare Moon both, and her fallen student’s powers were a far cry from those two horrors. In any case, she was certain he would do nothing to attack her, at least not before he could prove himself right.
The princess broke away from her cowardly guard, walking over the barren earth with all the menace of an executioner with an axe. She was only a few steps away from the door when she saw Kuchen’s pink aura open the door. “You may enter, Princess.”
Celestia froze. The cottage’s interior was lit with only a few small candles, but they were enough to show her a sampling of what Kuchen had been up to. Wooden shelves were lined with skulls and bottled organs, both of pony and non-pony origin. The floor was covered with blood, grime, and other, thankfully indefinable substances. And sitting next to a mud-covered window was Kuchen himself, patiently awaiting Celestia’s entrance.
The princess took a few steps inside, the door slamming shut behind her. Kuchen stared up at her, his mouth twisted into a gleeful, malicious smile. “Good evening. I hope you have not found my hospitality lacking.”
“We know what you have been doing, Kuchen,” said Celestia. “Whatever possessed you to drive yourself to such evil?”
“I was just working to improve everypony’s lot in life,” the mad pony said. He circled the princess, pointing out a few charts and graphs he had on one of the shelves. “That research you had me do showed me connections between yourself and every other pony race. With my guidance, magic and flight will not only be the domain of a lucky few. Everypony will soon be able to become just like you, dear princess.”
Celestia’s eyes widened with shock. “You really think you can make anypony into something like us? Kuchen, we knew you were mad, but we never imagined you had truly lost touch with reality.”
“On the contrary, I understand more than you realize.” Kuchen levitated a nearby, leather-bound book. “This journal gave me the insights I needed. Another pony like myself sought the same answers, and suffered for it.”
Celestia gasped as she took a good, long look at the book. It wasn’t just any journal. It was Luna’s journal. “Where did you find that?!”
“Do you remember that day, when you told me I wasn’t allowed to have a life, because it might upset you? Well, I went back down to the basement of the Canterlot Library for a while, trying to calm down. And that’s when I found this shoved behind some ancient periodicals, along with everything else you’ve been hiding from us. The so-called ‘Mare in the Moon’ wasn’t just some ghost to scare foals. She was a real pony, one like myself in a way.”
The princess gritted her teeth. “She was nothing like you.”
Kuchen raised a hoof. “Ah ah, that is where you are wrong. The journal mentioned a means by which she could gain more power, even become a force to challenge one like yourself. That’s when it hit me: Princess Celestia is a pony just like everypony else. She is certainly no goddess. By the journal’s description, you do not even deserve the title of princess! You overthrew Equestria’s standing ruler using those contemptible Elements of Harmony!”
“We did what we had to do,” Celestia snapped. “You cannot conceive the horrors Discord inflicted upon Equestria!”
“Perhaps…or maybe you are lying about this, just like everything else.” Kuchen continued to circle around the princess, her eyes never losing sight of him. “Once I realized this, I left Canterlot to discover the same power as – what was her name – Nightmare Moon. I used what little I could find to reverse-engineer her spells, trying to figure out just what made them work. I even meditated in your old palace in the Everfree Forest, the same place you stashed the Elements of Harmony. And I succeeded. I finally figured everything out, and now, I am going to improve everypony’s lot in life.”
“You slaughtered entire villages!” Celestia snapped.
“I needed test subjects for my work! And besides, is that one village not happier as seaponies?”
“You murdered Private Stormwind!”
“Oh, you mean that stupid pegasus who thought he was my friend? You said it best, your Highness. I do not need friends. My purpose in life is to make you happy, nothing more. And besides, didn’t he make an excellent blanket?”
“You think all THIS is making us happy?”
Kuchen feigned a wound to his ego. “Oh, my princess! Please don’t tell me you’ve stopped caring for your subjects! It has only been five hundred years since you killed one!”
“I DID NOT KILL MY SISTER!”
Kuchen’s grin quickly turned into a confused frown. “S-Sister?”
“Did your research not tell you the whole story? Nightmare Moon was my sister, Princess Luna. She was jealous not because I was more powerful, but because nopony ever appreciated her nights! And I did not kill her!”
Kuchen coughed under the severe mental strain. “T-Then where is she?”
“I attempted to use the Elements to reverse her transformation, but I was unable to wield all five by myself. When I tried to force their activation, I not only severed my connection with them, I also sent my sister into the moon itself! And just so you know, she and I were both born with wings and horns.”
The mad pony’s eyes began to dull as the truth weighed heavily on his shoulders. “Then…I was wrong? All those ponies I killed, my family, my best friend…they were all in vain?”
Celestia’s eyes softened. Her former student began to slouch in defeat, and she could swear she saw a few small tears streak down his cheek. “Kuchen, we...I did not wish this to happen. You have a brilliant mind, and could have been one of the greatest assets Ponydom had ever known. But I have no choice.”
“Wh-What are you going to do?” he whimpered.
“I have to take you back to Canterlot to face justice. I can guarantee that your horn will be removed, and your works banned, but you will still be alive. I will do everything in my power to help you after that.”
Kuchen was quiet for several minutes. And then that infernal spark returned to his eyes. “You want me…to give up everything I’ve worked for? No! My research has come too far to be nothing but lies!”
Celestia looked on as her student returned to his twisted self, fighting fruitlessly against the confines of her spell. “Kuchen, this is the only way.”
“Just like how you banished your sister?”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed. The force of her aura tightened in response to her rising anger. “I told you, I used the Elements incorrectly!”
“Another lie!” Kuchen coughed. “You wanted your sister out of the way, so you used the Elements to banish her to the moon! You wanted her to watch as you ruled what was rightfully hers!”
“I. Did. No. Such. Thing!” Celestia growled.
The aura from Celestia’s telekinesis tightened, leaving the pink stallion gasping for air. “You…ruined my life…just like you ruined…hers! Everything…that has happened…is your fault!”
“SHUT UP!”
Kuchen could feel his life ebbing away. Even then, at his last moments, he managed to look Celestia straight in the eyes one last time. The pony that had taken him in, given him a life he would never have had anyway else, and then used him to her own ends. His voice was dry as he shouted one last curse. “C-Celestia…th-th-the….FRAUD!”
“SHUT! UP!”
There was a loud snap, and Kuchen’s body went motionless. His eyes were rolled all the way back into his skull, while his tongue lay flapping out of his lips. The princess could feel the exact moment all life left his body, could feel his magical power fade back into the ether from which it came. Even so, Celestia threw the corpse into the wall a few times, the entire building shuttering with each slam. It wasn’t until after the fifth crash that her rage lessoned and reality finally took hold. The magic field levitating her student’s body dissipated, sending it crashing to the floor in a heap.
Almost immediately, the very air seemed to become much lighter, as if a great weight had been lifted from the world itself. The guards, who had been sitting outside the entire time out of fear, burst through the closed door. Everypony’s eyes were locked on the dead pony before them; the guards with their jaws open, and Celestia with the most stoic face possible.
“Y-Your orders, your Highness?” asked one of the pegasi.
Celestia’s eyes never left the body. “We have seen enough. The candles should give us enough flame to start a fire.”
----------
“I had everything in that cottage destroyed,” Celestia finished. “Kuchen’s body was burnt along with nearly all of his research. All that remained was the Arcanus E Draconus and a few other works, all of which were still stored in Canterlot. I wanted to destroy those as well, but…”
“What stopped you?” asked Twilight.
----------
The flight back to Canterlot was done in total silence. Nopony dared to speak, lest they ignite Celestia’s considerable wrath. The princess herself rode in her chariot with a detached, remorseless expression, not even looking back at the smoldering remains of the hellish site Kuchen had left behind.
When the wheels of her chariot touched ground, the princess disembarked before the pegasi in front had even finished moving. She turned to her accompaniment, looking every bit the princess she was. “Gentlecolts, I want you to bring me the rest of Kuchen’s family. Private Stormwind’s, too. They all need to know what has happened this night.”
“A-Aye, your Highness,” one pegasus coughed. The troop bowed quickly before flying off into the night. Once they were all gone, Celestia teleported herself straight to her chambers. She didn’t know how much longer she could control herself.
Celestia reappeared in a flash of white light, landing right in her bedroom. Once she was sure nopony was listening on the other side of the door, she trotted over to her window and looked up at the moon.
Plastered on the lunar surface was Nightmare Moon’s visage, still looking down on all of Equestria with barely-contained jealousy and wrath. The four stars, the same system Celestia herself had set up to free her sister, were almost in the optimal position. She still had a few seconds to make everything right, to undo the greatest mistake of her life and bring her sister back to Equestria proper. All she had to do was…
“No,” she whispered to herself. “This is not the time. I…I cannot release you, sister.”
The stars drifted on, passing the equilibrium point Celestia had waited for. The silhouette on the moon flashed in a rage, apparently having had the same plan as the princess, but without Celestia’s power to aid her, the Mare in the Moon was still nothing more than an incorporeal mass of energy buried under the moon.
That left one more thing.
The Arcanus E Draconus still sat where the princess had dropped it earlier. A few brave servants were willing to remove Stormwind’s remains, and a proper burial and memorial was already in the planning stage. But the book itself was another matter. Celestia was the only pony alive and un-banished that had encountered something as disgustingly vile. The guards refused to come within ten feet of the tome, and the rest of her staff were equally terrified.
Celestia knew what she should do within moments. This thing is too dangerous to keep around. It should be destroyed. That would be the best hope for Ponykind.
And yet, curiosity took hold. She lifted the book back up, leafing through its skinned pages and bloody ink. Everything she read, from how to turn a pony into a manticore to ways to communicate with beings from beyond their own world, only cemented how absolutely dangerous this book was. There was no way she could allow this on any bookshelf.
But then somepony might stumble across the rest of her student’s work. The same curiosity that drove Kuchen to learn about Nightmare Moon might possess them as well, and sooner or later history would repeat itself. She would have to destroy everything he had ever written, and just as with Princess Luna, she would have to suppress any knowledge of Kuchen’s existence. She could spin the atrocities off as the works of a generic “evil unicorn,” and with the passage of time, all would be forgotten.
But as for the texts, tomes, and spells Kuchen had developed…
----------
“I had everything Kuchen worked on sealed in the basement of the Canterlot Library,” Celestia finished. “I wanted to destroy them all, but I couldn’t bring myself to.”
Pinkie stared at Celestia incredulously. “But why? If you hated him so much for being a nasty-wasty, why didn’t you just throw a nice bonfire party?” Her eyes lit up. “OF COURSE! Next Summer Sun Celebration, we’re gonna have a bonfire!”
“No, Pinkie!” Twilight gasped. “Do you want to burn down half of Ponyville?”
“Hmph, party pooper,” Pinkie sulked.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about Kuchen, and how I failed him.” Celestia sniffed. “I was so obsessed with freeing Luna that I did things I should have never done. Because of that, so many lost their lives, from ponies to griffons and even dragons. I was his teacher, and I should have behaved like one. That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to destroy all his hard work, no matter how twisted it was.”
“But…what about your vendetta against the Pie Clan?” Pinkie exclaimed.
Celestia sniffled and coughed before continuing, a little bit of her old composure returning. “Well, it was a few days before my guards returned with the only member of Kuchen’s family they could find: his wife, Milky. Oh, she was a wonderful mare in her prime, so full of spunk and pizzazz. And she could bake a lemon pie that would…”
Luna raised a hoof. “Drool less, explain more.”
“A-Anyway,” Celestia said with a blush, “we found Milky hiding in an alley behind Pony Joseph’s Circular Cakes. When she was brought to me…”
----------
Celestia couldn’t believe what had happened in just a few days.
Milky was a mess, a pony covered in who-knows-how-many-things. The pride she had once shown was gone, replaced with a blank stare that barely betrayed any life whatsoever. Even from her throne, Celestia could not help but feel mortified by the sight before her.
“Milky, we…have some bad news.”
“So, you finally went and did it, you liar!”
Celestia’s eyes snapped wide open. “Wh-What did you call us?”
Milky struggled against her chains and the guards, hoping against hope that she could free herself and gouge out Celestia’s eyes. “I know all about what happened to my husband! I know you stormed into his house and snapped his neck! I FELT IT!”
Celestia took a few steps from her throne as the guards finished pushing the mare down. “What do you mean, felt it?”
“Did you really think he didn’t know how this would end? The moment he left Canterlot, he knew he was a dead stallion! That was why he gave us a parting gift, in case somepony killed him!”
Celestia was taken aback. “Gift?”
“He lives on, in our heads! We know everything he did, every spell he ever created, every truth you tried to suppress!”
Celestia’s face flushed pale as she realized what Milky was saying. “You mean…he possessed you?”
Milky nodded. “My children and I…he made sure we would never forget. One day, Kuchen the Uplifted will return in full, and he shall destroy you, Celestia the Fraud!”
Celestia looked up to the stunned guards. “Quick. I need you to start a search for Kuchen’s offspring.”
“You are too late!” Milky laughed. “I already sent them away, with their grandparents and uncles and aunts! They may not have the gift, but they will protect them from you and your thugs until the time is right! And then, Kuchen will be triumphant!”
----------
Everypony turned to Pinkie. The Earth pony already knew what they were going to ask. “The Princess isn’t lying. All us Pies have a little voice in the back of our heads, telling us everything about Kuchen. Well, everything that hasn’t gone away, I mean.”
“Gone away?” asked Twilight.
“Remember what Princess Celestia said? Kuchen was a real smarty-pants when it came to making stuff up, but actually having it work? That part he had trouble with. You see, all of his kids were Earth ponies, which meant they couldn’t use magic. And their kids were all Earth ponies, so the same thing happened.”
“Magic Decay,” Luna interjected. “A possession like what Kuchen used would have eventually worn itself down over time.”
“Okay, I get that,” Twilight lied. “But if Pinkie is descended from one of Kuchen’s children, what about the other two?”
Celestia shrugged. “The possession spell did not work on them as well as Kuchen had intended. Within about two or three generations, they were completely normal. One even eventually moved back to Canterlot, found a music school, and has created some of the best musicians in Equestria. But in Pinkie’s family, things were different. They changed their name to the Pies and took up residence all over Equestria. They bred like rabbits, too, so by now there’s a Pie or two in almost every village, town and city in Equestria.”
“And that’s why I couldn’t tell any of you about this!” Pinkie said. “It wasn’t because I liked lying, but I didn’t want to lose my family!”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Lose your family?”
“You know, have them all put to death, their heads mounted on pikes like shish-kebobs, all that nasty stuff! I mean, you’ve been hunting the Pies for years, wanting to kill everypony that knew anything about Kuchen! And that’s why I had to warn Twilight about what you’d do to her if she made you angry!”
Celestia was very, very quiet for a few seconds. Then came the small squeak in the back of her throat, followed by a low whimper. “Y-You actually thought I would do that?”
Pinkie was quiet. “Um…yes? I mean…”
“I-I never w-w-wanted to do that!” Celestia could feel the tears running down her cheeks, but didn’t care anymore. “I never even wanted to kill Kuchen! Even after all he did, I wanted him to live! I almost raised him myself! I-I-I…”
The rest of Celestia’s words were drowned out by the sound of her sobbing. Burying her face in her forelegs, she collapsed on the bed and started bawling like a wounded foal. Luna and Twilight both gave Pinkie some of the most admonishing stares in the history of Equestria, only serving to make the pink pony feel even more upset with herself. She slowly trotted to the princess, placing a foreleg across her back. “I’m sorry. I know you’re not a meany or anything. It’s just…everypony knows what you can…”
“And you thought I would?!” Celestia squealed. “I could just seal away Kuchen’s memories, or try and cure your family! I would never have killed them!”
“I…I think we should leave Celestia alone for a short while,” Luna said. Her voice was obviously strained with concern. “Twilight Sparkle, Miss Pie, I will see you in my chambers shortly. We have much to discuss.”
----------
Ruby and Lofty were halfway through supervising the polishing of the North Hall’s suits of armor when Luna returned. “Miss Dream, I understand court is to begin in a half-hour’s time.”
Ruby could feel the urge to ask about where Luna had been, or who that pink pony was, but wisely chose to ignore those urges. “Why…yes, your Majesty.”
The princess’ eyes turned to Lofty. “I believe your child deserves a small break from palace procedures, and in any case the usual court activities would be far too boring for one such as her.”
Lofty looked up in excitement. “You mean I don’t have to listen to a bunch of stuffed-up snobs complain about everything you do just because you’re in charge?”
Luna and Ruby traded stares; the former was accusing, the latter was apologizing. “I…do suppose that is accurate. In any case, I do think Princess Celestia could do with some cheering up. Recent events have been trying for her.”
NOW Lofty’s eyes really lit up. “You mean I can play with the princess again?”
The night princess smiled at the filly, her eyes closed. “Why, yes. Miss Dream, would you be so kind as to escort your filly to my sister’s bedroom? I will meet with you in the throne room shortly.”
Ruby smiled and bowed, secretly happy that the day’s earlier discretion was not going to lead to her standing in the unemployment line. “Of course, your Majesty! Come on, Lofty. We have some royal duties to complete!”
The mother and daughter cantered down the halls and corridors of the palace, vanishing from Luna’s sight. The princess took pride in her latest work. You’ve been through enough today, little sister. For now, you deserve to be happy.
TO BE CONTINUED…
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Eleven
It was quite a while before Celestia could consider herself “okay.” She had never told anypony else about Kuchen, nor did she ever reveal to any pony alive some of the more horrible aspects of her past. Everypony in Equestria now knew about Nightmare Moon, and how Celestia banished her sister to save her subjects from certain death, but there were plenty of other mistakes she had made over the millennia. None of them were particularly happy things to talk about.
Even worse, she had humiliated herself in front of those closest to her yet again. Last night’s disastrous ending was still fresh in her mind, just another sign of her irrational childhood fears beating their way through her subconscious. Her guard was slipping, stripping away what remained of the Great and Powerful Princess Celestia and showcasing her as she presently was.
Her thoughts came to a sudden halt as a loud knock echoed from her door. The filly sprang into action almost immediately, throwing aside the tear-drenched pillows and covers, wiping her eyes to minimize any sign that she had actually been crying moments earlier, and only then opening the door.
Her eyes immediately met with Lofty’s. “Hello again!”
“Uh…Hello?” Celestia responded. “What are you doing here? I thought you got in trouble with my sister last time.”
It was only then that Celestia noticed the adult pony standing beside her. It was the same pegasus that Lofty had identified as her mother during their last meeting. The princess’ mind went blank as she tried to recall exactly who this was. “G-Good morning, Miss….Dream, was it?”
Ruby was slightly taken aback. “It’s Ruby Dream. Y-You know, one of the attendants you hired a short while ago?”
If Celestia felt short before, she now felt about two inches tall. The princess always made an effort to remember the names and faces of the palace staff, even as it changed and rotated from month to month. The fact that she could name almost everypony from her most trusted advisors to the simplest window washer was something of a matter of pride for her. The fact that the last few weeks had been mentally exhausting was no excuse in her own eyes. “Oh…I’m sorry.”
Ruby sensed the filly’s anxiety almost instantly. Her mood reflexively shifted from terror to comforting, as did the tone of her voice. “I-It’s all right, your Majesty. I’m Princess Luna’s attendant until a cure for your condition can be found.”
Celestia smiled back at the pegasus. “I see. Well, is there anything I can do to help you?”
“Princess Luna said we could hang out together again!” said Lofty. “She didn’t seem mad at all anymore!”
The tiny alicorn gasped in surprise. “You mean…Luna isn’t going to come back and throw you out or anything?”
“It’s only until the afternoon court is over,” Ruby added. She tilted her head down towards her waiting daughter. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Be on your best behavior, don’t do anything that will get us banished from Equestria, and remember our little talk this morning?”
Lofty sighed. “Yes, mom.”
Ruby gave her little filly one more reassuring pat on the head. Celestia, meanwhile, rubbed at the little bump she still had from her collision with Luna’s dresser. “All right. Have fun, girls!”
The pegasus ushered her daughter inside, shut the door, and went off down the hall. Once she was sure her mother was out of earshot, Lofty took a few more steps around the room, eyeing everything around her with a sense of wonder. “Wow, I’ve never been in a princess’ room before! This place is so…so…big!”
“Um…Ah…Yes, it is,” Celestia muttered. Her outwardly beaming expression soon filled in to cover her growing insecurity. This isn’t supposed to happen so soon. According to Twilight’s reports, friends are not supposed to come over to your home until the sixth or seventh week you’ve known them! But, that may be for sleepovers only. This isn’t a sleepover, right? I don’t have a bedroll or sleeping bag or whatever they call those things these days! Oh, what am I going to…
“Princess Celestia?”
Celestia snapped back to attention, only to see Lofty worriedly waving her hoof in front of her face. The princess blinked a few times before chuckling nervously. “Sorry about that. I’m just a little surprised Luna…” She groaned a little as her internal frustrations took hold. “Sorry. I just haven’t…”
Lofty rolled her eyes. Even at her young age, she could tell this was one of those times where a pony had to watch her words carefully, if only to keep herself and her mother from getting launched into the sun. “So, what do you want to do?”
Celestia’s eyes scanned from one end of her shelves to the next. Unfortunately, all she had accrued over her life was a massive collection of books, all of them far over the head of a pegasus pony. General Smashemup was still MIA, and she had no other toys to speak of. There was no way Luna would allow the two to run amuck around Canterlot Castle, they couldn’t go outside because of that contemptible party being set up below, and there was very little they could do in here without breaking something or somepony.
And then she saw it. A white cardboard box was sticking out from behind several volumes of the Encyclopedia Equestrica, just beckoning her to use it. She had not played the game in years, using it only once to help teach some of her school’s students lessons on life’s up and downs. And yet, here was the perfect opportunity…
----------
Twilight and Pinkie were in Luna’s office chambers within minutes, and would have been there even faster if Pinkie hadn’t stopped to sample the cranberry shortcake for tonight’s party. Luna was already waiting for them, a look of glaring disapproval across her face. Pinkie quickly ducked behind Twilight as they entered, not wishing to face that glare head-on yet again. As for the unicorn herself, terrified was hardly a powerful enough word for how unsettled she was with all this.
Luna’s eyes never wavered, never turned away from the two ponies before her. Her voice was low and commanding, with just a hint of motherly scolding. “Twilight Sparkle. Pinkie Pie. We have much to discuss.”
“I-I-I…” Twilight stammered.
“Be quiet!” Luna hissed. Both ponies immediately obliged, and Luna’s voice shifted back to normal. “Do either of you realize what has just transpired?”
“W-Well, I know we shouldn’t ask the princess about eeeeeevil ponies before lunchtime,” said Pinkie.
To her eternal credit, Luna managed to resist the urge to throttle the pony’s neck. “My sister is in a terrible state right now, all because a certain pony decided to cast Celestia as the most heartless monster in Equestrian history.”
Pinkie shuddered, her brow breaking into a freezing sweat. “I-I didn’t mean…that is, I…”
“Twilight Sparkle, you know Celestia better than anypony else in this room…besides myself, of course. In your years as her student, have you ever known my sister to do anything like what the Pie family has accused her of?”
Twilight tapped her chin with one hoof, her mind coming up a complete blank. Even with the self-imposed mental barriers that prevented her from thinking anything bad about Celestia, she was unable to come up with a single example of the sun princess cutting off heads or throwing ponies into the sun. “N-No, not that I can recall.”
Luna sighed, her eyes still locked on the two. “My sister has always been self-conscious about how different she is compared to the rest of ponykind. And now there’s an entire family that believes she wants to kill them because of something that happened five hundred years ago?!”
Pinkie shrank back behind Twilight’s rump. The unicorn, meanwhile, took a few steps towards the princess, her ears still pointed backwards. “Princess Luna, you can’t punish Pinkie for this. It’s my fault. I’m the one who made Princess Celestia tell that story. I just…needed to know who Kuchen was.”
Luna was quiet, her stare only intensifying. When she spoke again, her voice had softened, even if her face had not. “I do not wish to punish anypony, Twilight Sparkle. I can understand the fear the Pie family must face, living with an evil force inside their minds for generations. I was there once, too, and forces like that are very difficult to free oneself from. But this is more than just a simple misunderstanding. Your friend should never have tried to scare you like she did, or told the princess about her family’s grudge. She has made my sister very upset.” Her glare zoomed in on the little bits of Pinkie she could see. “And that makes me very upset.”
Pinkie crumpled herself into a little ball on the floor, her eyes burning from being closed so tight. “No! Please, I-I just wanted to protect my family!”
“Princess Luna!” Twilight shouted. “Pinkie never wanted anypony to be hurt! Can you please just let this go, just this one time?”
There was no trace of emotion on Luna’s body, only a cold stoicism that not even Celestia was capable of showing. The two ponies clung to each other, awaiting their inevitable end. It wasn’t until they saw a small smile creep across Luna’s face that they began to relax, if only a little bit. “Miss Pie, just how detailed are those memories you have?”
Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “Huh? They’re…kinda all there. I mean, most of them are a little hazy, and I don’t get all the magic mumbo-jumbo words and all that, but I…guess I have most of the nasty stuff he pumped into us Pies.”
Luna turned to Twilight. “I think I have an appropriate punishment. Twilight Sparkle, I want you and Miss Pie to work together on Celestia’s cure.”
The two friends looked at each other in utter bewilderment, before turning back to the princess with a simultaneous “Huh?”
“I am not an unfair ruler,” Luna continued. “I have no doubt that Pinkie Pie did not intend any harm to Celestia’s wellbeing, nor did she break into the castle without reason. Furthermore, she has a more personal connection to the spell’s development than anypony else alive. Combined with the materials you found yesterday, this should prove enough to finally get all of us a step closer towards curing my sister.”
Twilight took a cautious step forward and bowed her head. “Thank you, Princess Luna. We promise we won’t let you down. Isn’t that right, Pinkie?”
The self-appointed “Queen of Laughter” rolled her eyes. “Well, YEAH! Why do you think I went through all this trouble getting back in here?”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”
“Miss Pie followed a tunnel through the old sewer system,” said Luna. “It was fortunate for her that she popped up in my office. Who knows what would have happened had the guards found her before I did?”
Pinkie chuckled. “Ah, it’s okay. I have plenty of practice running from other ponies.”
Luna cleared her throat, attracting the attention of both ponies. “Regardless of what might have happened, our task is clear. Princess Celestia needs our help, and the only way we are going to find a cure is to work together. Twilight Sparkle, I want you to combine your knowledge of magic with Pinkie’s memories of Kuchen’s actions. If he was able to reverse-engineer Nightmare Moon’s magic, I am certain we can do the same thing to his own.”
“And then we’ll have a cure!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Exactly!” Luna walked past the two, stopping by the office door. “If you will excuse me, I have other duties to attend to. In the meanwhile, I want you two to go to my chambers. I’ve hidden the Arcanus E Draconus under my bed. Start your work from there.”
And so, with the orders for the day given, Luna trotted down the hall and around a corner towards the throne room. Back in her office, the jubilant mood had melted into a festering pool of untold horror. Both Twilight and Pinkie looked at each other, a look of oncoming doom covering every inch of their being.
And meanwhile, back in Luna’s chambers, the Arcanus E Draconus beckoned for the two…
----------
“Your turn, Lofty.”
Lofty gripped the top of the wheel as best she could with hooves and gave it a spin. After a few times around, it finally landed on a 6. She then pushed her little orange cart along the board, stopping on a yellow space, showing a copy of the game’s logo. Sensing even more income incoming, the filly grabbed a cardboard tile and flipped it over, reading it out loud to the curious Celestia. “You win a bet on the Cloudsdale Grand Prix. Collect 5000 Bits.”
Sighing, Celestia scooped up and handed Lofty yet another pile of fake coins from the bank. Lofty could barely be seen behind the mountain of playing pieces in front of her; Celestia, meanwhile, was about as broke in the game as the palace treasury was in real life. Her sole pile of money barely reached the top of her fetlocks. Now I remember why I hid this thing for so long.
“Um…Princess Celestia?” Lofty inquired. “It’s your turn.”
Celestia snapped back to attention. “Oh…right.”
The princess spun the wheel, the infernal contraption stopping on a 10. Lofty’s eyes lit up like candles as she waved an expecting hoof. The princess visually cursed that blasted Police Officer card her opponent had. “Saaaay, a kind officer like you wouldn’t mind looking the other way this one time, would you?”
Lofty shook her head. “Nope. As a sworn police officer, I must uphold and protect the law at all times. If even one wrongdoer escapes from justice, then everything we have ever worked for will have been for naught!”
“Tch, fine,” Celestia grumbled. She bit down on a few bits and dumped them into her opponent’s hoof.
“Thank you very much,” Lofty said with no small bit of arrogance.
It was right about then, when the first burst of victory reached her nostrils, that the pegasus filly realized just who she was talking to. Celestia just sat there, staring the pony down like a disapproving adult. This was somewhat understandable, since before today the princess had always been a grown-up. Lofty quickly buried her lower face between her forelegs, sheepishly looking to the princess for forgiveness. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t want to win, I just…”
Celestia barely managed to stifle a laugh. “It’s no problem. I mean, do you know how many times I’ve won just because the other pony let me win?”
Lofty titled her head. “Huh? Is this one of those ‘princess things’ mom talks about?”
“Well, no. I mean, I don’t think it’s quite what you’re thinking of,” Celestia hastily corrected. “I mean…oh, forget it.”
Lofty shrugged. “Well, mom lets me win at Go Fish sometimes. Is it something like that?”
“Y-Yes,” Celestia muttered. “Well, I might be eighty thousand bits behind, but I’m sure I can catch up.” She pushed her little cart along the track with one hoof, stopping on a space that read, “Mid-Life Crisis. Start New Career.”
It took all of Celestia’s regal training to hold back the small, ancient curse on the tip of her tongue. Tossing aside her Teacher card with a huff, she drew her new direction in life from the card pile: a Hair Dresser.
----------
Twilight and Pinkie stared at the foreboding tome, their bodies frozen with fear. Twilight had only known of the Arcanus E Draconus’s existence for three days, and yet everything that had transpired because of it was enough to make her blood run cold. As for Pinkie, things were far worse. Her mind raced with terrible memories that were not her own, once again bringing back the terrible deeds of her ancestor. Were it not for her Pinkie Pie Swear to Princess Luna, she would have immediately galloped out of Canterlot and taken up refuge in that one grotto outside of Hoofington with her Uncle Dug.
“W-W-W-W-Well then, shall we…open it?” Twilight stammered.
“Y-You first,” Pinkie replied in kind.
Twilight took a big, loud gulp of air and started slowly walking towards the book. Each step felt heavier than the last, and it was only her indomitable will to help her princesses that kept her from turning tail like a chicken. After the longest five minutes in the history of Equestria, she was close enough to flick the book open with one hoof.
The book’s cover crashed to the ground, taking a few stuck pieces of parchment with it. With trembling eyes, she looked upon the open page…
And saw nothing more than a spell, written in a language she barely understood. She still remembered enough from Luna’s earlier translation notes to figure it had something to do with snakes or yogurt, but either way it wasn’t becoming very appealing.
Back on the other side of the room, Pinkie had laid herself upon the ground, hiding behind her trembling forelegs. “I-I-Is it safe?!”
Twilight cautiously let out a sigh of relief. “It’s all right, Pinkie. No demons came bursting from the pages, no windigoes howling past us, not even a long-dead unicorn mage trying to steal our bodies.” Pinkie whinnied in protest. “No offense.”
“Ah, it’s okay,” Pinkie said. The Earth pony appeared far more visibly relaxed than before. “I know you didn’t mean anything bad about it. Now, let’s get crackin’ on this-”
Their conversation came to a crashing halt as the doors burst open, revealing a quartet of tired, huffing ponies, plus a baby dragon. Rainbow Dash stood in the lead, her fur and feathers sticking out like she had just rolled out of bed. Fluttershy and Applejack stood at her sides, the pegasus looking about ten seconds away from total collapse, while the Earth pony was the only one of the group that didn’t look completely exhausted. Rarity stood at the far back of the group, eyeing Dash with something resembling either fear or constipation. On her back sat a tiny purple rider, his claws practically digging into Rarity’s body from his anxiety.
Spike ran into the room before anypony else could so much as breath, wrapping his arms around his surrogate sister’s neck in a worried-but-relieved hug. “Twilight! Thank goodness you’re all right!”
The purple unicorn wrapped a foreleg around her assistant, returning the hug as best she could without breaking eye contact with the rest of her exasperated friends. “H-Hi, girls. How is everything-”
“DON’T YOU ‘HI GIRLS’ US!” Rainbow shouted. “Do you have any idea how long we’ve been looking for you two?”
“One hour? No, TWO! Three, four, you gotta give me a clue here. Am I cold or what?” Pinkie quickly gabbed.
All the joking earned her was an orange, very irritated blur speeding towards her, passing Twilight so fast it sent the unicorn spinning in place. It would have slammed into the other pony in the room had Pinkie Pie not stepped to the side to pick a conveniently-placed caramel candy off the floor; instead, Applejack found herself crashing into the far wall.
Everypony broke into a quick canter, surrounding the dizzied farm pony with great concern. “Applejack, are you okay?” Fluttershy asked.
Slowly, Applejack pulled herself back onto her hooves. She adjusted her hat in frustration, muttering something about bulls and feathers under her breath, before turning back to Pinkie, her eyes still slanted from her built-up frustration. “Jus’ what the hay was THAT for?”
“What? What’d I do?” Pinkie stammered. “I was just kidding around right then! I know you guys were looking all over Canterlot for us! Why do you think I had to play all sneaky-sneak and go through the sewers?”
The moment the word “sewers” left her lips, a frankly unflattering scent struck the nostrils of everypony in the room, coming from Rainbow’s direction. Now the reason for Rarity’s distancing herself from Dash were more than apparent. “You…You mean you went in the sewers after her?” Twilight asked.
“Well, DUH!” Rainbow blurted, more than a little embarrassed about her current situation. “Do you know how bad it is down there? It’s all cramped, and smelly, and DARK! I crashed into a wall and tumbled into a river of…of….GAH I don’t even want to think about it!”
Pinkie couldn’t help but feel more than a little small next to her friends. All of them, save Twilight, eyed her with a mixture of anger, fear, and exasperation. There was only one way out of this. “All right, girl-pals. I know I haven’t been a straightforward pony with you guys, and that was wrong of me. The truth is…”
----------
With a small bit of effort, Celestia and Lofty packed up the game’s contents before shoving it under Celestia’s bed. “Well, that was fun,” Celestia said. “I’ve never been beaten that badly in anything. Well, anything that didn’t actually matter, anyway.”
“I…didn’t know you could lose by two hundred thousand bits,” Lofty added.
“It’s all a matter of luck, anyway.” None of which I’ve been having recently.
Their little chat stopped as yet another knock echoed from the door. Cursing the inevitable march of time, Celestia opened the wooden portal, revealing Ruby Dream herself. “Good afternoon, your Majesty. I’m sorry, but it’s time for Lofty to come back.”
“Awww,” Lofty whined.
Ruby took a few steps into the room, stopping in front of her daughter. “Now Lofty, I’m not going to take any backtalk today, all right? This was a very special occasion, but you still have a homework assignment to research. And if you want to go to the carnival tomorrow, you are going to get it done tonight. Understand?”
Celestia’s eyes went wide. Carnival?
Lofty scoffed. “Yes, mom.”
If Ruby had noticed her daughter’s backhoof of a response, she didn’t seem to care. She leaned her body forward, allowing Lofty to hop on before standing back up. The red pegasus then turned back to the princess. “If you will excuse us, we have to return to Princess Luna’s office. We still have a lot to get done today.”
Ruby was about two hoofsteps out the door when a little white blur suddenly popped up next to her. Celestia’s face was all a-grinin’ as Ruby and Lofty looked on in surprise. “You…don’t mind if I tag along, do you? We have so much to talk about…”
----------
“And that’s the whole story.”
The room was so quiet, a pin dropping would sound like an explosion. All color had drained from the faces of the four ponies, leaving the four looking like slightly dirtied snowponies. Spike clung to Twilight’s neck like a security blanket, eliciting more than a few pings of pain from the unicorn as his claws poked her skin. Pinkie’s face soured as she took in her friends’ reactions. “Sorry if I scared you gals, but Daddy Pie always told me to tell the truth. Well, unless it got the family killed, but that’s a moot point now.”
Rainbow Dash’s mouth flapped wordlessly a few times before she could find something to say. “You mean you have a sick, sick pony living in your brain?”
Pinkie shook her head negatively. “Not quite like that. I mean, yes, he’s back there sometimes. I can still remember stuff he did, places he saw, ponies he maimed…” Her natural cheerfulness quickly dropped into morose self-loathing at the last item. “But it’s almost all gone now.”
“Then what was that nonsense from earlier?” said Rarity. “You looked like you were ready to take poor Twilight’s head off!”
“And how’d you twist your head like that?” Spike added.
Pinkie took a few steps back, somehow appearing even more nervous than before. “Well, sometimes, I mean…when something really gets me nervous, or I get really angry, he kinda comes clawing out. Remember that time you guys were planning that surprise party, but I thought you all hated me? How I started looking different and acting like I hated you all back? Yeah, that’s kind of what he does.”
Fluttershy took a big gulp of air. “Um…I’m sorry, but…do you mind if I, well, go outside for a little bit? I’m not feeling too well…” Before anypony could respond, the yellow pegasus was out the door and just a small dot in the distance.
Applejack turned her attention back to the desperately apologetic Pinkie. “Alright, Ah suppose Ah can…accept yer apology. This is just gonna be a lot to take in.” She shrugged. “And…Ah’m sorry Ah yelled at ya like that.”
“And I as well,” added Rarity.
Rainbow was mum for a few seconds before finally speaking. “Oh, all right. I’m sorry I tried to chase you into the sewers.”
Pinkie smiled, wiping a small tear from her eye. “No, it’s all right. It’s all my fault anyway. I should have known that Princess Celestia wasn’t going to hold a grudge all this time. And you guys are the best pals a pony could ask for. You would have understood, even if it does seem a bit weird.”
The five remaining ponies (plus dragon) quickly pressed into a group hug. And even with Rarity hurling Applejack between herself and Rainbow Dash, for just a moment, the friends were reunited.
----------
“A carnival? Really?”
Lofty nodded from her vantage point on Ruby’s back. “Uh huh! The first one mom and I can go to since we moved to Canterlot!” The filly squeezed her mother’s neck with sudden excitement, eliciting a small squeak from the adult pegasus. “It’s the most awesomely exciting thing that’s ever happened in my entire life!”
Ruby gave a small cough before wrestling free of her own foal’s vise-like grip. “Really? I thought your last birthday was the greatest day of your life.”
Lofty paused for just a moment, just long enough for the filly to catch her thoughts. “Oh…that just got replaced.” Both Celestia and Ruby had to share a laugh at the foal’s naiveté, even if it only served to make the small pony more upset. “What? Did I say something funny?”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Celestia giggled. She rolled her eyes a little before continuing. “So, Miss Dream, what else is my sister planning for today?”
Ruby glanced down at the regal filly beside her, her mind freezing as to how she should respond. She had never really spent a lot of time with Celestia prior to her recent affliction, having only actually spoken to her during one of her many interviews with the castle. She knew the princess could be trusted with anything, and certainly needed to know what was going on around Equestria. Something, however, was holding her back. The pegasus’ mind kept drifting back to that first awful day, watching the princess she had found herself attached to reduced to a wreck, and…
“Excuse me, Miss Dream. Is something wrong?”
The pegasus shook her head vigorously, little dots of light flashing before her eyes as they readjusted to reality. “My apologies, your Highness. Princess Luna has just finished the open court. That gives her and I about, oh, four hours or so to get things accomplished.” The pegasus gave a toothy grin. “Everything seems to be going quite…nicely.”
Celestia frowned at the pony’s evasiveness. “I see… Very well, Miss Dream. Still, if anything does happen…”
Lofty glanced back and forth between the two ponies. “Um…what’s going on?”
Ruby turned her head back towards her daughter, still bearing the same smile. “Oh, just big pony talk, honey. Nothing you need to worry about.”
“Oh, hello, Princess.”
The three travelers stopped in the hall as a yellow pegasus boldly approached the group. Ruby started to take a sidestep towards the princess, as if to hide her from the stranger in their midst, but a quick shake of Celestia’s head was all it took to convince her that this was not somepony to be feared. Lofty, on the other hoof, was staring at the approaching pony in a mixture of awe and astonishment. The yellow pegasus, for her part, looked like she was worried about something, but otherwise seemed quite friendly and cordial towards the three. “I’m sorry if I interrupted anything. Maybe I should just go. I mean…”
Celestia waved a hoof in response. “It’s no trouble at all, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy took a deep breath, her nerves calming down as much as hers ever did. “Oh, thank goodness. I’m sorry to bother you, but I…I just had to get some fresh air. I mean, after finding out about Pinkie Pie, I…”
The pegasus stopped as Celestia shook her head, a smile still on her lips. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but believe me, she’s still your friend. A pony is not defined by what someone else in their family did. I have seen the descendants of saints become monsters, and the children of evil become the greatest of heroes. Pinkie Pie is no different. Every time I’ve met her, she’s brought so much laughter and joy to those around her, that I can see she is incapable of the monstrous actions of her ancestor.”
Fluttershy nodded in response. “I know all that. I mean, I think I do. But things today have been so crazy that…”
“Ex-Excuse me, Princess Celestia.”
Both ponies turned their heads towards Ruby, the yellow pegasus shrinking back a few steps while blushing at the sight of a new pony and accompanying filly. The red pegasus looked at the two in confusion, having lost track of their conversation about five rails back. The filly’s eyes were still locked on Fluttershy, her breath becoming more labored as she struggled to fight back some urge from within. Celestia glanced back to Fluttershy, grinning apologetically. “My apologies. Fluttershy, this is Ruby Dream and her daughter, Lofty. She’s filling in as Luna’s personal attendant.”
Slowly, Fluttershy extended a shaking leg. Her eyes never left a small spot on the floor. “Um…nice to meet you.”
Ruby took the other pegasi’s hoof in her own and gave it the smallest, slowest shake she could, just in case she startled the already nervous pony any more. “It’s…very nice to meet you.” Fluttershy squeaked something in response before withdrawing her leg. More than a little nervous, the redder of the pegasi returned her attention to the waiting filly. “I’m sorry, but Lofty and I really need to get back to work. We only have a few hours of daylight left.”
“F-F-Fl-Flu-”
Celestia looked up at the small pegasus on Ruby’s back. “Lofty? Is something wrong?”
“Fl-FLUTTERSHY!”
The filly leaped from Ruby’s back, almost somersaulting through the air in her excitement, before landing with a resounding crash in front of Fluttershy. All three adult/formerly adult mares recoiled in horror, only for the filly to hop back to her hooves completely unharmed. Indeed, she seemed more enthusiastic than ever. “Fluttershy Fluttershy FLUTTERSHY! Ohmygosh, I can’t believe it!”
Fluttershy broke into a cold sweat. She had never handled exorbitant public affection, as evidenced by her brief run as a fashion model. Even when the Cutie Mark Crusaders were praising her after the sleepover incident, they were mostly respectful and polite. This filly, however, seemed ready to tackle her to the ground at a moment’s notice. She wanted to bolt in the opposite direction, but her own fear had paralyzed her legs. All she could mutter was a weak, “Hello?”
Lofty gasped. “Wow! Fluttershy actually said hello to me! Oh, this is the new most awesomely amazing thing that’s ever happened to me!”
The filly’s unbridled enthusiasm and Fluttershy’s growing fear were interrupted only by the heavy clops of Ruby’s hoofsteps. “Lofty, what have I told you about upsetting ponies? Miss Fluttershy doesn’t seem to appreciate when you violate her personal space like that.”
“Awww, but it’s Fluttershy, mom!” Lofty moaned. “Don’t you remember?”
Fluttershy managed to dig up what little reserves of courage she had left. “Oh, you must remember me from my modeling days. That was such a long time ago, though. I really don’t work in that business anymore.”
Lofty shook her head. “Not from that! Remember when you took out that dragon that was trying to block out the sun? Or when you stared a cockatrice down until it released its hundreds of victims! Oh, and that time you defeated Discord and single-hoofedly chased down the fastest flier in Equestria?!”
“Oh! I…see…” Fluttershy groaned and tried to back away, even as Lofty continued to prattle on and on about the pegasi’s long list of achievements, even those that had been exaggerated either by the press or the filly’s imagination. Now she really wanted to leave, but in between her own shyness, her fear of appearing improper, and the filly’s hero worship, she couldn’t bring herself to run.
Fortunately, salvation came in the form of Ruby Dream. The filly’s prattle ended when her mother’s mouth clenched onto her back and flung the small pony onto her saddle area. “Now Lofty, I know you’re excited, but you can’t just run up to a pony like that. Now come on, we have a long day ahead.”
“Oh…okay!” said Lofty. She turned back to Fluttershy. “You’re awesome!” Fluttershy managed to squeak something that sounded like a “thank you.” The filly then returned to the rather left-out Celestia. “And thank you for letting me play with you, princess!”
“With your leave, Princess Celestia,” Ruby said. Before Celestia could actually answer, however, one of Lofty’s rear legs struck the side of Ruby’s saddlebags, dislodging a loose blue leaf.
Fluttershy’s eyes doubled in size when she saw the piece of plant. ”Th-That’s POISON JOKE!” she screamed, before diving behind Celestia.
The filly princess was similarly disturbed. “P-Poison Joke? Miss Dream, how did this get into your bags?”
Ruby glanced at the plant, and then back at the two ponies in confusion. “What do you mean? It’s just a piece of some of the decorations we’re using for tonight’s party. It’s not real, anyway.”
Both Celestia and Fluttershy looked back at the plant. Cautiously, Celestia leaned in closer, touching a small piece of the leaf with her hoof. Sure enough, it bore the same texture as silk. “A fake? But-”
“The florist said somepony in the palace requested these plants, claiming they were regular flowers from the Everfree Forest. She did some research, however, and found that they were actually highly poisonous. So, she worked up some artificial ones so we wouldn’t have to change the color scheme for tonight.”
Fluttershy nodded. “That’s…rather complicated.”
Celestia followed Fluttershy in nodding. “Very well. Miss Dream, you and your daughter are free to rejoin Luna. I should be returning to my chambers.”
Ruby bowed in response before trotting off, Lofty waving goodbye from her back. “Well…I should probably get back to the others,” Fluttershy said, accompanied by her own bow. “Thank you for listening, Princess.”
“Oh...it’s no problem, Fluttershy,” said Celestia. “Oh, and congratulations on your very own fan club!”
----------
Canterlot Station was bustling as usual, the latest batch of commuters preparing for the long trip back to Ponyville and the other surrounding communities. The train back to Ponyville had just pulled into the station as Twilight and company arrived, five of the seven prepared to head back to their regular lives in their small town. That is, save for the purple dragon resting on Twilight’s back, munching on a small bag of emeralds. “Are you sure you don’t need me, Twilight?” Spike asked between bites.
Twilight nodded. “I’ll be all right, Spike. I wasn’t in danger before you guys got here. I’m sure Pinkie and I will be fine now.”
Spike crunched down on another emerald. “But…”
The dragon’s eating spree stopped as a pink foreleg wrapped him in a tight hug. “There’s nothin’ to worry about, Spikey-Wikey! Twilight’s got the biggest brain in all of Equestria, and I’ve got that creepy voice in the back of my head. I’m sure we’ll have everything handled before you know it!”
“Ah’m sure ya’ll got it all figured out,” Applejack added. “Ah jus’ wish the Elements had worked. It woulda been nice ta be headin’ back together, ’s all.”
“I just wish we hadn’t played that game,” Rarity muttered. “Ugh, I can still taste that gunk on my breath.” The unicorn turned her attention to the nearby Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, how could you make me do something like that?”
Dash sighed and rolled her eyes. “It’s not like you had to pick dare, you know. And besides, I’ve drank worst things in my life.”
Rarity’s hoof clamped onto Rainbow’s mouth instantly. “Don’t you dare finish that thought! NOTHING was worse than that!”
“So, what are your plans for the night?” asked Fluttershy.
“We do have a lot of work to finish,” Twilight answered. “It’s just been one roadblock after another, but now that everything’s pretty much settled, it shouldn’t take that long to find something.”
A loud whistle rumbled through the entire station, alerting the ponies to the train’s oncoming departure. The herd on the platform began pushing and shoving towards the train doors, the sound of their hooves drumming up more noise than a thunderstorm. The seven ponies were no different, as they found themselves pulled and tugged until the departing five were on the train, their heads poking out the windows to face the remaining two.
The usual chorus of farewells and well-wishes followed, with ponies from all walks of life saying goodbye to their friends and loved ones before departing along the rail line. This was no different for the six Bearers of the Elements of Harmony; indeed, the separation was in many ways harder than before. Nopony on the train knew when they would see Twilight or Pinkie again, or how long their research would take. Likewise, Twilight and Pinkie had no inkling of what hurdles they would have to overcome to restore Celestia.
But there were still things to do. Not everypony could just drop everything and spend their time in Canterlot, as much as they wished. Applejack still had chores on the farm, and her workpile had no doubt exploded in size since she left for the capital. Rarity was in much the same boat, having to prepare large orders for important clients all over Equestria. Fluttershy couldn’t help but worry about her animal friends, or how Angel could possibly handle taking care of them all while she was gone, and Rainbow Dash still had dozens of routines to practice. Even Spike had found himself promoted to librarian during Twilight’s absence.
The goodbyes stopped as the train began to rattle down the tracks, heading through the mountains and back down into Ponyville. From their position on the platform, Twilight and Pinkie watched it clatter away, waiting until it had fully vanished from sight before starting back towards the palace.
----------
Celestia bounced in a circle around Luna, the blue alicorn telekinetically pulling out a copy of the proposed trade agreement with one of the nearby pony nations. “A carnival! Can you believe it? It’ll be so much fun!”
“I’m sure it is,” Luna said with not even a drop of enthusiasm. “But why are you so excited? You and I have been to thousands of festivals.”
Celestia scoffed. “First, it is a carnival, not a festival. And second, we have, but I never got to do anything at them besides look pretty and attract customers! Now’s the perfect chance to-”
“No.”
Celestia’s face fell almost immediately. “B-But you didn’t let me-”
“I know what you’re going to say, and the answer is no. You cannot leave the palace until things are back to normal. What if somepony recognizes you?” She sighed as her mind slipped back to her happy place, back in the days of yore. “And besides, this is just a tremendous waste of precious time. What is there to celebrate?”
Celestia cocked her head. If she had ever questioned this before, she had obviously forgotten. “Um…the joy of living, maybe?”
“What I mean is, remember when such things were held at the end of the harvest season? Or to keep up one’s spirit during the winter months? I hardly see how a slight change in temperature can prompt a celebration like this.”
“Which is all the more reason for me to go! I can be your first-hoof observer, keeping my big sister informed of all the goings-ons in Equestria!”
“No, you just want yet another reason to goof off,” Luna grumbled.
Celestia could feel that childish side well up inside her yet again. It was getting harder and harder to suppress yet another tantrum. “B-But I never got to do anything like this!”
Luna could feel her patience wearing dangerously thin. “It’s just too dangerous, Celestia. All it would take is one pony seeing you walk down the street, and soon everypony in Equestria will know what happened.”
“Wh-What about a disguise spell?”
“You already have several enchantments on you already, none of which we can remove, and you want another one?” Luna clicked her tongue in disapproval. “There is no telling how badly any additional magic will interact with the Youth Restoration Spell. It might make the curse impossible to dispel.”
“Then we’ll get some hair dye, and-”
Luna turned to the next page, still trying to feign ignorance to her sister’s whiny protests. “Would that happen to include something to remove your horn and wings? And we have tried dying your mane before. Or have you forgotten your pink hair phase?”
“But...”
Luna grunted in frustration at her little sister’s constant interruptions. “My answer is final. I’m sorry, but I cannot allow you to just run free like that.” Her attention returned to the paperwork floating in front of her. “Now if you will excuse me, I need to get this to our embassy before tomorrow morning. With luck, we might be able to trade for enough food to last Fillydelphia until the next harvest season.”
Celestia’s lips twisted into a small pout. “I would have let you go.”
“Well, I’m not you,” Luna grumbled. “And besides, are you not too old for those kinds of games?”
A quick jerk of her mane sent Luna’s face flying downward towards the rather peeved Celestia. The filly spat out the mass of swirling hair, coughing back a glittering bit of star magic. “Why yes, I was. And then you came along and changed all of that.” The filly flashed a smile, the same kind that spoke of impending death for all that gazed upon it. “Remember?”
Luna grunted, readjusting her mane with one hoof as she did so. “Vividly. And I have been trying to accommodate for your…decisions during this time. But this is a few steps beyond comfortable. Far too many things can go wrong.”
“B-B-BUT-”
Luna could take no more. She tore her eyes away from the parchment and towards the filly, her retinas burning with unbridled fury. Celestia was more than a little taken aback; she had not seen her sister this angry in a long time. “My answer is FINAL. You are NOT going to that carnival tomorrow. Today has been a small diversion, but starting tomorrow morning, I expect you to be working on finding that cure. Do. You. Understand. Me. Young. Filly?!”
Celestia couldn’t fight it back anymore. Her eyes began to water as her childish mind took over. “You-You’re the meanest big sister anypony ever had!”
Luna’s harsh gaze softened slightly, albeit not enough to make Celestia relax. “I am the worst big sister ever...because I am trying to protect you from more public humiliation?”
“No you’re not!” Celestia whined. “You just want to look out for yourself! The only pony you’ve ever cared about is you you YOU!”
“That is a lie, and you know it!” Luna snapped. “I have bent to your every whim these last few days because, believe it or not, I feel responsible for what happened. But I never imagined that the same pony I have looked up to my entire life could be such a sniveling, spoiled brat!”
The office fell dangerously quiet, both ponies seemingly rooted to their spots on the ground. Neither sister conceded any ground in their argument, as all the tension from both Celestia’s pranking spree and Luna’s misguided revenge scheme seemed to start forcing its way out.
Finally, the filly alicorn’s resolve gave out. With a last angry growl, she stomped out of her now-bigger sister’s office and didn’t look back.
Luna watched the filly wander away until she rounded a corner, waiting until she was absolutely sure her sister was out of earshot before sighing in resignation. I’ll make it up to you somehow, Celestia. I promise.
----------
The hour was nigh, and the garden was looking perfect.
Two large banquet tables had been set up in perpendicular lines in the center of the garden, with a smaller one for Princess Luna herself was set at the end facing the palace. The performance stage was ready, with Octavia and the rest of her quartet practicing classic waltzes and traditional movements. Sure enough, they were indeed some of the best musicians in Canterlot; Luna may not have been around when the pieces were originally written, but she could tell they weren’t missing a beat.
The night’s appetizers were already set up for munching during the social part of tonight’s dinner, and even with the sudden introduction of cranberries into tonight’s menu, everything looked as close to perfection as was possible. The main course was still waiting by the kitchen’s garden doors, cooling to just the right temperature so as not to burn a noblepony’s tongue.
From her vantage point next to the garden doors, Princess Luna smiled at the sight before her. Her mane and coat had been shampooed, conditioned, straightened, curled, re-straightened, and finally combed through until they shined as bright as any of the stars in the night sky. The last hour had been spent prepping herself for the night’s festivities, ensuring that she would be more than pleasing to the upper levels of society.
Beside her stood Ruby Dream, the pegasus busying herself with finalizing the night’s schedule. “Let’s see here… The first guests should arrive at about 6:30, and the last at 7:05. The first official mingling phase will end at 8:00, where dinner will be served. At about 9:00 we enter the second mingling phase, which will last until around midnight. At that point, the guards will escort Baron Frazzleberry home after he tries to duel with Lord Huffy, which will kill the entire mood of the party and send everypony packing back to their estates.”
Luna eyed the pegasus skeptically. “And you are sure that is what is on Princess Celestia’s notes?”
Ruby took a few moments to clear her throat before speaking. “Well…that is, that’s what she had written down for every other one of these dinners. I mean, I do suppose she is embellishing a little…”
“I am certain it is more than ‘a little’ exaggerated,” Luna sighed. “Still, my sister does have her own way with some things.”
Ruby set the schedule aside. Next to her lay Lofty, the filly struggling not to fall asleep. “I should take her home. She’s had a long day.”
“I agree,” Luna said. “Enjoy your day off tomorrow. I shall see you first thing in the morning the day after.”
Ruby nodded, hoisted her daughter onto her back, and started on her way out of the palace. As soon as Luna was certain she was gone, she stepped out of the palace and into the garden proper.
There was no doubt about it. Everything was the very pinnacle of perfection. Twilight and Pinkie were working on a cure, and Celestia was free to spend time with them if she got bored. Any minute now, her guests would arrive, and her first formal function since returning to Equestria would begin.
Tonight is going to be the best night ever.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Alexander Cantrell:
I work in Professional Dining...this kind of build up always leads to probably the Biggest of Upsets...
T553412:
the bigger they are, the harder they fall as they say
Pinkie Ben:
just like the Grand Galloping Gala was the "best night ever" for the mane 6. right Luna?
L.Brieulle:
That's kind of cursed sentence.. hehe
Anonymous:
I think it ranks above "what could possibly go wrong?"
Ignacio Santacruz:
And then there is is Blueblood's spy...
Anonymous:
Oh sweet Celestia...
Anonymous:
an entire chapter and all anyone comments on is this one line
Anonymous:
eeyep
Spencer Perruzzi:
i guess this is where it really begins
Anonymous:
AHAA! the Game of Life, Equestria Edition! I want them to make that now...
Cordell Hankins:
damn not bad at all!
Anonymous:
This bit with pinkie pie remindes me of that ther fanfic "cupcakes"
lilliandball:
How's she gonna make THIS up to Celestia?
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Twelve
As if acting on some cosmic cue (or just following the schedule to appease their ruler), the first guests arrived at the garden gates at exactly six o’clock. Whether by themselves or as a couple, one upper-crusted pony after another came filing down the carefully-laid paths from the palace entrance, flanked on all sides by all the guards that couldn’t find a good enough excuse to get out of the most boring six hours of their lives.
Fortunately, this convention had not changed in a thousand years. As each guest stopped to bow, Luna greeted them by name, wished them well, and welcomed them within the royal grounds. A few seemed to double-take at the sight of a smiling blue alicorn, but at least they weren’t lobbing insults or calling her by…that name.
Yes, this will be the best night ever.
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The small piece of chalk struck itself across the length of the chalkboard, forming a straight line right through the middle. The unicorn controlling the instrument nodded in self-approval, even as she continued to crunch the numbers in her mind. “And so, if we combine Ethereal Storm’s theory on curses and their effect on the pony psyche with Professor Milky Way’s own contributions to the Grand Unified Theory of Magic, we can see a connection between the initial possession and paralysis spells. I think we’re finally making some progress! What do you think, Pinkie?”
The pink pony snapped out of her boredom-induced nap with a snort. Before her on the podium sat the Arcanus E Draconus, its pages opened to the spell that had started all this trouble. The priceless historical – if pure evil – tome now bore traces of the spittle of its writer’s descendant. “Oh…um…four?”
Twilight groaned. She had known going into this that Pinkie was not a student of magic, even with Kuchen’s voice apparently in the back of her head all this time. And yet, every effort the unicorn had made to bring her partner more into the depths of their discussion had met with failure. Being the princess’ personal student and spending all her time surrounded by books and studies on the nature of magic had spoiled her to the point that she had never even bothered to think about how to explain all of this to anypony, especially a non-unicorn like Pinkie.
It was only natural that her nerves would be starting to fray. “Pinkie, you have to pay more attention! There’s a whole lot of material we have to brush you up on before we can even attempt to create a counterspell.”
A smile traced its way across Pinkie’s lips, even as her ears flattened. “O…Of course, Twilight! Whatever you say! After all, you’re in charge of the study group!”
The unicorn could feel a small nerve in her brain twinge slightly as she glanced around the room. “How can I be the leader of a study group if it only has two members?”
“Um….a study pair, then?”
Twilight muttered something halfway between a grunt and a growl. “Pinkie, please…”
A loud knock on the door broke up the scene between the two. A few seconds later, the doors opened to reveal a little alicorn filly. “Good evening. I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.”
“N-Not at all, your Highness,” Twilight stammered. She even completed the scene with a small curtsy, a telltale sign that things were not going well and she wanted to avoid punishment. “I was just, well, tutoring Pinkie on some of the fundamentals of magic. You know, so we can make things go a little bit easier. Heh heh heeeeeeh?”
Celestia’s eyes locked on the nearby pink pony, who was obviously faking the goofiest smile ever seen since Celestia had first met Lofty. Her vision then gradually drifted down towards the small drool pool on the Arcanus E Draconus’s open page. “I…see. Miss Pie, how much do you know about magic?”
Pinkie tapped her chin, shifting her eyes back and forth between the princess and her friend. “Um, well, I know there’s the kind where you can saw a pony in half. Oh, and you can pull rabbits out of a hat! Although, you really shouldn’t do that with Fluttershy’s friend, Angel. It gets him really angry!”
Twilight slouched the front half of her body against the floor, wrapping her forelegs above her head in sheer, unadulterated, soul-crushing frustration. “ARGH! How are we supposed to get anything done if we aren’t on the same page! At this rate, it’ll take years before we can get even one of the enchantments broken!”
“Perhaps she doesn’t need to know all the particulars. You are talking about some rather weighty subjects, after all,” said Celestia. “Pinkie Pie, how much can you remember of Kuchen’s magic? Not exact names of spells, I mean. Just…how he felt when he would cast a spell, or a few syllables from whatever branch of magic he was using.”
“Um…well…I can get a few things,” Pinkie nodded.
“Perfect!” Celestia exclaimed.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Perfect? I don’t really see where you’re going with this.”
“I-I’ll explain in a minute,” Celestia said. “In the meantime, care for some tea? I need to talk to you two about something.”
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As the last guest arrived, Luna breathed a sigh of relief. It had taken forever to memorize the entire list, and more effort than she had thought possible to recognize everypony from their pictures. She had only met a few nobles and aristocrats outside of her nightly court, and none of those ponies were attending tonight unfortunately.
Satisfied that nopony else was coming, Luna made her way to the party area. Her face beamed with intense hope, something she had not felt for quite a while. So far, not a thing seemed to be going wrong; everypony appeared to be behaving, there were no uninvited guests, and Celestia was nowhere to be seen.
Now, at long last, she would know these ponies for herself. No longer would she had to rely on Celestia’s second-hoof reports of their antics and general ne’er-do-well attitudes. She might even get them to like her, perhaps even support her once Celestia was back on her throne.
This is REALLY going to be the best night ever.
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“And she said no?” Pinkie responded in astonishment.
Celestia took a sip of her tea before continuing. It was a task easier said than done, seeing as how she had to lean over almost the whole table just to reach her cup. “Yes, she did. I don’t understand what went wrong. I acted just like a filly should. I jumped around, shouted things in excitement, even whimpered and whined a little. I thought such tricks usually worked on one’s caregivers.”
Twilight felt that nerve twinge yet again. “Um…Princess Celestia? Did you ever give in to a filly that jumped around, shouted things excitedly, and then whimpered and whined a little?”
“Well…yes, I did.” Celestia blushed a little under her fur. “You have no idea what Luna was like as a foal. She would always throw the biggest tantrums whenever she didn’t get her way with the slightest thing. Why, back in the first eon, she wanted to stay up all night, and when I told her babies needed their sleep, she spent the entire night screaming and pulling my hair and…trying to eat my ears…”
Twilight raised an eyebrow at this. “She never told me anything like that.”
Celestia shrugged. “I imagine she never told anypony, especially after we became princesses. There’s a certain amount of poise and prestige one must exude in this position, and letting everpony know you used to be a wild child has a tendency to not end well.”
“I-In any case,” Twilight stammered, desperate to get the discussion back on track, “Luna does have a point. We really can’t let anyone else know what’s happened to you. Maybe once we have a cure ready to go…”
The white alicorn slammed both hooves onto the table, shaking the furniture with their tiny impact. Fortunately, her rational side managed to pull itself together before any more damage could be done. “I can’t wait that long! By the time the carnival comes back, I’ll be back to normal. I won’t be able to do any of the things I wanna do by then!”
Twilight coughed on her tea a little. “Did you just say ‘wanna’?”
The filly slank back into her seat. “My apologies. I suppose I got a little worked up over this.”
“But you can still do stuff when you’re a grown up!” Pinkie said. “You can actually do even more cool things once you’re tall enough to get over the line! I mean, you can go on the Ferris Wheel…”
Celestia shook her head. “I weigh too much.’
“…ride the rides…”
“Too tall.”
“…play some games…”
“The vendors think I’ll cheat them and refuse to let me play.”
“…and the food! All those deep-fried snacks…”
“I tried to order a fried candy bar once. My bodyguards immediately closed the booth before it was even finished. They said that they were protecting my royal arteries.”
“…and all the sarsaparilla you can drink!”
“Sarsaparilla has too much sass.”
“…In any case,” said Twilight, “maybe we can figure something out later. But right now, we need to get back to work. Would you like to join us?”
Celestia shrugged. She wasn’t exactly interested in working during her vacation, but time was of the essence. There was no way Luna could survive what was going to happen tonight. “Sure, why not? We might get going a bit faster that way.”
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The hour was late, and the party was getting into its full swing. The richest, most powerful ponies in all of Equestria whiled away their evening with small talk and idle gossip. Whether it was the prices on the commodities market, or some rather improper remarks about a mare’s ensemble, no topic was deemed too small in importance for the bored, idle rich. Luna had just barely willed the sun to set, taking great care to avoid looking like she had any difficulty with it whatsoever, and at long last could see first-hoof how the aristocracy had changed in the last thousand years.
She was not impressed.
The notion that tonight was not going to end well first struck her as she was walking towards the hors-d'œuvre table, desperate for some fruit punch. Just as she was willing one of the glasses into the air, her godlike ears managed to pinpoint some chatter from a nearby group of ponies, one of many gathered around the party’s area. A charcoal-coated stallion and two mares, one blue and one golden, had their eyes fixated on an unsuspecting white-and-pink mare on the other side of the field.
“So you say that’s Fancy Pants’ new trophy wife?” said the stallion.
The golden mare chuckled wickedly between sips of her punch. “That’s what I hear. Apparently, she was some kind of model he met during one of his business trips. A few nights later, she’s already flashing that ring he gave her like he’d take it away at any moment.”
“Ugh, the nerve of some ponies,” the blue mare grumbled. “What was he thinking, consorting with somepony of a lower class? Surely a pony of his standing knows that there are some things we simply cannot abide.”
There was a flurry of agreements between all three, their eyes never leaving their dagger-like stare at the unsuspecting mare. If she had any idea that the other guests were busy condemning her, she was far too busy hanging off of the large, well-dressed stallion beside her. Luna groaned at it all, pushing the problems out of her mind by sipping on the punch.
“Good evening, your Highness!”
Luna coughed on the red liquid as another mare loudly – but properly – called her from behind. Turning about, she found herself facing a young, topaz Earth pony, probably no older than Twilight. The surprised princess barely managed to swallow her drink before the awkward pause between sentences became too much. “G-Good evening, Miss…”
“Raisinette,” the Earth pony finished.
The moon princess smiled back, her brain already drawing back on her knowledge of Earth pony naming customs. “So…I take it you are involved in raisin production?”
“‘Involved’ isn’t quite the right word,” the pony corrected. “My family practically runs every grape vineyard in Equestria, and all in one generation to boot. Why, given the time and resources, we could be as wide-spread as the Apple family!”
More than a few ponies glanced at the two’s direction at the last outburst. Blushing, Luna took another sip of punch. “I see. Well, it is good to meet some of the hardworking farm ponies that keep Equestria fed.”
Raisinette let out a low giggle; if Luna didn’t know better, it would have sounded like the Earth pony was taunting her. “Why, thank you, your Highness. Say, how do you feel about raisins?”
Luna shrugged. “I…I really have not had that many. I have eaten grapes, however, and…”
“Let me tell you, nothing’s better on a hot summer day than biting into a sun-dried raisin. And nothing’s better than Raisinette Brand Perfect Raisins! We’re not like those other raisin companies. You know, like the Sour Grapes family. Do you have any idea how many laws they break every day?”
Sweat creased down the princess’ brow as she tried to find some way to escape this conversation. “W-Well, I do see your point, but…”
“And let’s not get started on those Blue Blossoms! Why, they wouldn’t know a raisin from a prune, let me tell ya! I swear, if you just spent a little of our fine government’s time and money, we could have all those good-for-nothings exposed for the cheats and crooks that they are!”
As if to accentuate her last statement, the Earth pony drew herself closer towards the princess, wrapping her foreleg around the ancient mare’s neck in what was probably supposed to be a friendly hug. Luna’s entire face was washed red with a mixture of horror at being so close to a strange mare, and frustration at not being able to escape this conversation. “And let’s not forget the retail market! Why, any reputable wholesaler would never carry something so sub-par as a pack of non-Raisinette Brand raisins, but none of them have the will to say no! But with a ringing endorsement from somepony on top, we just might be able to change that!”
All Luna could tell by this point was that the pony that was now touching her was breaking just about every single etiquette rule ever laid down in the history of Canterlot high society. A thousand years prior, she would have ordered the mare thrown head-first into the nearest dungeon cell for even being this close to her.
Then again, a thousand years ago she had tried to kill everything in Equestria because she didn’t feel appreciated.
Pushing aside her growing nervousness, Luna shyly smiled at her captor. “If….If you have an issue, you can make an appointment with the palace. Anypony is free to voice their issues to the court.”
“Oh, I know that. I’m sure we can talk about it more tomorrow. But just remember, when you bite into a Sour Grapes raisin, that may not be a raisin you’re eating!”
Her sales pitch complete, the mare (thankfully) cantered away. Breathing a deep sigh of relief, Luna raised her cup back to her lips, only to be greeted with nothing. Grumbling, she tilted the glass up to her eyes, and sure enough, it had gone dry. The small patch of red in front of her hooves was a stunning testimony to just where her drink had gone.
“Can you believe Nightmare Moon is hosting tonight?”
Luna’s ears picked up the distant voice almost immediately. She slowly turned her attention towards yet another small huddle of party guests; this time, it was a large, brown unicorn stallion, a green mare, and a smaller, Earth pony brown stallion. Even if they had noticed Luna listening in, it did not seem they would really care that much.
“Can you believe that story she’s throwing around?” said the mare. “Since when has Princess Celestia ever taken a vacation?”
“And so close to tonight, as well,” said the Earth pony. “I swear, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that Princess Luna threw her sister out in another bid to take over Equestria!”
“She should have stayed in the moon where she belongs,” the mare grumbled. “When will she learn that nopony wants her around?”
“I can’t see how she and Celestia are even related. Our princess is such a shining example of poise and grace, while her supposed sister can’t go two sentences without barking orders or acting like she’s better than the rest of us.”
“She’s been gone for a thousand years. Equestria doesn’t need two princesses anymore. Even the one we have gets in the way too many times.”
*CRAAACK*
Luna’s attention snapped back to her glass. Or rather, to the shards that had once been her glass. Cursing the link between her emotions and the strength of her telekinesis, the princess discarded the glass in a nearby garbage can. You can do it, Luna. You can do it. You mustn’t let those fools ruin everything for you. It’ll all get better, they will see how wonderful you are, and this will be your best night ever.
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Celestia’s hoof traced its way from one end of the sheet to the next, checking and rechecking every variable in Twilight’s equation. The unicorn and Pinkie watched with great anticipation as the princess analyzed what could very well be the key to turning her back. After a long night of studying, everything was going to fall right into place…
“It’s not going to work.”
Twilight’s mood deflated immediately. “What’s wrong?”
“Most of the spells you used are correct for simple spells. But this is entirely different. If last night’s little mishap was any indication, we have to remove each of the spells in order, and without disturbing whatever safeguards Kuchen put in place. I highly doubt we want to repeat that disaster.”
“Oh, it wasn’t so bad,” said Pinkie. “I mean, sure, you got all scared of lightning and everything, but you were so cuuuuute when you were shivering!” A quick death glare from Celestia was all it took to tell Pinkie she should drop the subject before she ended up like her ancestor.
“B-But what’s wrong?” Twilight moaned.
Celestia hopped down from her seat, her hooves clopping loudly as they touched the ground. Twilight and Pinkie walked alongside her as she paced around the room, collecting her thoughts. “Pinkie, we need you to break down every single spell in the sequence, from beginning to end. Even if you don’t know the exact names, a simple description will do.” Pinkie fired off a salute. “Twilight, the counterspell you create will have to respond to every single step of the Youth Restoration Spell. Otherwise, we’ll be right back where we started.”
“Understood, your Highness,” Twilight nodded.
Celestia smiled at the two. She couldn’t help but feel a little confident with how things were now going. “You girls are off to a great start, but we still have a long way to go. If you will excuse me, I must return to my quarters. I fear this body isn’t exactly built for all-nighters.”
“A-ALL-NIGHTERS?!” Pinkie choked. “As in, ALL NIGHT LONG all-nighters!”
The pink pony’s protests stopped as a lavender hoof rested itself upon her shoulder. Pinkie turned to the waiting Twilight, the unicorn’s face a beaming smile. “Isn’t it grand? You’ve taught me all about parties and how fun they can be. Now’s my chance to show how great it is to study! Why, we’ll be up ‘till the wee hours of the morning!”
Celestia wisely closed the door just as Pinkie was screaming for mercy. Her nightly visit complete, she started on her way back to her room. Even as she walked, however, her mind was already creating new schemes to convince Luna to let her go to the carnival tomorrow. Perhaps the puppy dog eyes… No, too obvious.
So wrapped up in her schemes was she that she didn’t notice a green pony looking at her through one of the hall windows…
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The actual dinner portion of the party started exactly at exactly eight, as was scheduled. Five minutes prior, everypony made their way to their assigned spots, standing at attention until Luna herself was seated. The moment the sound of dozens upon dozens of ponies sitting in unison echoed through the garden, the servers dashed out the first course: a salad.
Once everypony had been given their portion, and the servants had stepped back until they were needed again, the small crowd began eating. Many a salad fork, whether through magic or years of practice with one’s hooves, scratched against just as many dishes at once, accentuating the awkwardness of the situation. Already, Luna could see the potential problems; one pony stared at another with malicious intent, or glanced darkly at the princess from the corners of their eyes. Either way, the princess could tell that there might be more problems.
“I-If you don’t mind, your Highness, may I ask you a question?”
Luna turned to face her speaker: a young, ocean-blue pegasus mare. She was staring at the red pieces of fruit covering her salad. “Of course. I always have time for my subjects.”
“Well, I was just curious…what is this berry, exactly?” The mare prodded one with her fork, squeezing out a small squirt of crimson juice in the process. “I have never seen anything quite like it.”
A chorus of voices accompanied her question, all of them sharing the same curiosity. More than a few appeared pleasantly surprised at the new taste, while others were either indifferent or afraid to take a bite until they knew this wasn’t a plan to kill them all and eat their bodies. “Well, those are called cranberries. I felt that, since this is a special occasion, the menu should be changed a little.” The less they know about the shipping error, the better.
“Then why have they never been served before?” asked a stallion at the end of the table.
“Because Celestia is not too fond of them, sadly,” Luna sighed. “She does not realize what she is…”
She stopped to a chorus of spits, as pony after pony spat up their half-eaten berries into their napkins. Others either dumped the offending fruit onto the grass, or moved them all to a separate plate. Luna could tell exactly what this was. So, because my dear sister has no taste in food, we cannot enjoy this rare find? Accursed Celes-
“I SHALL ENDURE THIS NO LONGER!”
The length of the table shook as a rather large stallion jumped onto the surface, smashing or displacing quite a bit of the royal china and silverware. The guards charged forward to intercept, but the stallion simply threw them aside like rag dolls. His eyes were fortunately not locked on the princess; rather, they were focused on another stallion directly across from him. Luna rose to speak, but was outspoken by the offending pony. “Lord Huffy! You dare dishonor Canterlot with your vile presence!”
Recognition struck Luna like a bullet. Huffy…then that must be Baron Frazzleberry! Celestia really was telling the truth about them!
Lord Huffy jumped onto the table as well. He was a fair bit shorter than his opponent, but certainly didn’t lack any of his intensity. “How DARE you insult me! Your family has born shame for centuries!”
“Shame at the hands of your family!” the baron snarled. “The day we were foolish enough to ally with the Huffy Clan was the day the Frazzleberry name was made a laughingstock! But today, I shall have my vengeance!”
The Baron flicked his tail upwards, ejecting a small piece of metal that had been tangled inside. Upon gripping it in his mouth, a long blade shot from the object’s edge. Lord Huffy, on the other hoof, shook his forelegs, releasing a pair of metal claws he had hidden in his horseshoes. The guards surrounded the table, but dared not make a move until they were sure no bystanders would be taken out in the crossfire.
The two swung their weapons…
And were stopped cold when both items were transformed into mist. The stunned nobleponies looked about in absolute confusion, before resting their eyes on the thing that had stopped their duel: Princess Luna. The alicorn’s eyes were little more than slits, barely revealing the boiling rage inside her. “How dare you! You both enter my home, insult my food, and then try to kill each other? I have never witnessed such…such…depravity in all my days!”
Lord Huffy nodded and jumped off the table, clearly upset at losing his latest chance to finally bring down the House of Frazzleberry but obviously not wishing to incur the princess’ wrath any further. The Baron, however, was not so smart. “I don’t care who you are! This is a matter for the noble court, not for an upstart princess like you!”
Luna gritted her teeth. She didn’t care how it looked to the other ponies; right now, she was just satisfied she wasn’t throwing the Baron into the dungeon this very moment. “This is your last chance, Frazzleberry! If some injustice has been performed, I shall try to make amends. But until then, you shall – as you ponies are so fond of saying – mind your place!”
Again, however, the Baron’s stupidity was matched only by his big mouth. “I shall do no such thing, NIGHTMARE MOON!”
That. IS. ENOUGH!
Luna’s entire body shook with unbridled rage. A fury she had not felt since her descent as Nightmare Moon overtook every fiber of her being, completely closing off any inkling of the poise and stoic elegance she had been trying to emulate. The other ponies shrank away in terror at the sight of the enraged God-Princess, their eyes almost burning from the sheer anger emitting from the alicorn.
“WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLISHNESS!” Luna shouted. Her Royal Canterlot Voice echoed throughout the garden, threatening to deafen everypony within range. At this point, she would have been happy if that really did happen.
One mare poked her head up from beneath the table, if only to keep grass stains off her dress. “B-But your Majesty…”
Luna willed her voice down a few notches, if only so Celestia wouldn’t hear it and try to inquire later. “When this function was first mentioned, I was eager to meet the ponies that help to keep Equestria safe and prosperous. You are all just as much my subjects as anypony else, noble or not. And yet, these last few hours have only served to prove just how low and twisted your positions have become.”
“W-Wait a minute, your Highness!” a brown stallion shouted. “We were invited here by Princess Celestia herself. We don’t have to listen to a traitor such as you!”
Everypony else gasped at his words, and even the stallion realized just how idiotic a thing that was to say. Luna’s face was already twisted in rage, and thus failed to display the exact moment where her self-control snapped like a dried twig beneath a pony’s hoof. “Invited by Princess Celestia, you say? Tell me; just how many of these parties has she actually attended?”
The stallion’s face fell. “Um…none that I can recall…But that was only because she had royal duties to attend to!”
“Royal duties?! HA!” Luna scoffed. “Do you know what she was really doing this whole time? She was avoiding the whole lot of you.”
Murmurs and grumbles broke out between the disheveled ponies almost immediately. None of the land’s elite members wanted to believe it. The night princess could finally see the opening she needed. “Before she left for her vacation, I asked her what to expect of this party. She told me, in no uncertain terms, that you were all a bunch of silver-spooned ponies that would stab each other in the back for her favor. I was even explicitly instructed not to attend, but I mistakenly believed that her claims had been exaggerated.”
The rumbles from the party’s guests only grew in volume. Finally, one of the mares that had been secretly harassing Fleur earlier raised her hoof like a schoolfoal. “That’s not possible! Why would Princess Celestia ever do such a thing?!”
“Because she hates you.”
Everything stopped in an instant. The brain functions of every pony in the audience immediately ceased as Luna’s words came to weight. A few could even be heard sniffing back tears. With the floor still hers, Princess Luna continued. “My sister may be strict, but she is never openly harsh when she can avoid it. Her solutions are always passive in nature, a trait she learned when she was but a small filly. She would never march into a party and declare how much she despises these things, or how ruling over you ungrateful foals has left her drained these past few months. And let us not forget our dear Prince Blueblood, who told me I should murder a village just to save his ego.”
“B-But we’re not Prince Blueblood!” one of the ponies shouted.
“But you are still at fault!” Luna said. “Tonight, I have heard every lie, every betrayal, and every self-promoting act one can think of. I have seen ponies ostracizing somepony else because their great-great-grandparents were not as rich as their own. I have witnessed grown ponies degenerate into foals because of meaningless, centuries-old feuds.”
The princess’ breaths became more labored. “And I have heard many of you call me Nightmare Moon. Did it ever occur to you as to why I became that monster to begin with? It was because of ponies like YOU! Ponies that dismissed everything I tried to accomplish because it did not fit into their own narrow view of the world. The same ponies that dismissed my beautiful nights while accusing me of having no purpose! The night my sister banished me was the worst night in both our lives, and what do you do? You mock her suffering with your very behavior!”
There was nary a peep from the party guests. Even Octavia and her orchestra were shocked by Luna’s growing rage. It was obvious by now that this night was unsalvageable. “I take my leave of all of you. The guards will escort you out when the party is done. Enjoy your dinner.”
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Luna could not help but feel a sense of relief as she entered the palace. Her nightly court would already be preparing for the night’s business, and after so many days of failure, she was going to get everything she wanted finished.
That was the only thought that kept her going at this rate.
I have made a mess of everything.
As much as she hated to admit it, there was another reason why Celestia would never directly upset the elite members of Equestrian society. As princess, her actual reach over the kingdom was limited, and no amount of magic could fix that. She needed all those ponies tonight to help finance the country’s projects and operations, manage the local communities, and keep an eye out for anything that might endanger ponies everywhere. As much as somepony would want to hoist them by the throat and drop all of them off a cliff, they were still necessary.
And Luna had just insulted every single one of them.
By the time Luna had reached her court’s meeting room, she could already feel that contemptible sadness welling up inside her, threatening to burst out in the middle of the only ponies that had ever cared what she had to say. She stopped at the door, taking in deep, labored breaths as she tried to refocus herself.
Celestia, how do you do this? How can you be so…perfect with everypony? Why can’t I be like you?
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The minute Luna left, so did Blueblood’s spy.
The rest of the guests were still stunned by Luna’s outburst, so the brown Earth pony was more than able to slip out past the guards and through the front gate. Even as he did so, his partner, a green mare, followed him from the other side of the garden. A quick nod to the guards, and she was outside the palace as well.
The two investigators then started trotting down the street, stopping only when they reached a secluded enough alleyway. A quick scan of the area confirmed that there were no other ponies nearby that could disrupt the rest of their business. “Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself,” said the mare. “While you were busy having fun, I had to dig through the royal dumpsters!”
“You still got to see the first half,” said the stallion. “And more importantly, did you find anything?”
The green mare shook her head in defeat. “Nothing that wasn’t slimy, moist, moldy, or some combination of the three. Although…”
The stallion leaned in expectantly. “What is it?”
“Well, I don’t know if it’s important, but while I was digging around, I did get a peek into one of the rooms. Princess Celestia’s room, I think. Anyway, I was rather low to the ground, and I couldn’t quite see all the way, but...I think I saw some filly inside the palace.”
The Earth pony rolled his eyes and sighed. “Really? A filly? That was the best we could find tonight? Blueblood is going to have our-”
“She had wings and a horn.”
The stallion’s jaw dropped so fast, there was an audible crack. “We-Well, she could have just been dressing up as one of the princesses.”
“She also had white fur and rainbow hair. If that was a costume, then I’ll need to hire whoever made it next Nighmare Night.”
The stallion’s words were slurred, as if even he had a hard time believing what he was saying. “Do you mean…Princess Celestia is a filly now?”
The green pony shrugged. “I have no idea. But at least it’s something to tell the prince. We might still get paid for tonight, after all.”
----------
As was tradition, Celestia was the first of the Royal Pony Sisters to arrive for breakfast. Her natural morning cheerfulness, augmented by her newfound youthful energy and exuberance, only made her hasty charge to the table all the faster. Twilight and Pinkie were nowhere to be found; the sun princess had little doubt they would be sleeping in today. That only left Luna.
Sure enough, the blue alicorn groggily stumbled into the dining room a few minutes later. The few hours of sleep she had managed to grab the night before were enough to keep her alive, even if she was obviously wearing down. Celestia’s concern was plastered all over her face. “Are you all right, Luna?”
The night princess nodded as she took her seat. “I am…I am well, sister.”
Celestia cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. Even in this state, she could read her sister’s body language far too well. “What’s really going on? Did you have a bad time at the party last night?”
Luna’s eyes lit up with a fiery rage at the word “party.” “It was terrible. I had no idea things had fallen as badly as they have. Those foals and all their posturing, stupid duels and power plays were just too much for an old mare like us.”
Celestia paused as her plate of scrambled eggs and green peppers was laid before her. She waited until a similar dish had been placed by her sister before continuing. “I told you these parties rarely ended well. I never wished for you to have to endure something so monstrously dull and insulting.”
The night princess poked her own eggs with her fork, not even bothering to float the utensil to her mouth. “There is more to this than that. Things became very heated during the dinner. I may have said some things I should not have said.”
Celestia frowned. “Like what?”
Luna gulped. She could already feel the little filly preparing to drill through her neck with her tiny hooves. “I…I told them how you hated all of them. They know you have been using excuses to avoid going to any of these functions. I….I didn’t mean to tell them all this, but I was so angry that…”
Celestia grumbled and growled at her plate. Luna really had goofed this time. “You’re right. You shouldn’t have said that.”
She sighed. “Still, it’s not anything a little bit of damage control can’t handle. This wouldn’t be the first time one of us has done something upsetting.”
Luna wasn’t listening; her eyes were instead locked on the table’s surface. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at her sister right now. “You win.”
Celestia broke away from her eggs in shock, a few pieces of one bite tumbling out of her mouth from the sudden twist. “What do you mean?”
“It doesn’t matter what I do. You will always be a better princess than I could ever hope to be.”
“Now that’s just not true!” Celestia exclaimed. “Luna, you are a wonderful princess. Never let anypony tell you different. It’s just been a thousand years since you handled many of these duties. You can’t blame yourself for being out of practice.”
“You should have heard them last night.” Luna sniffed back a few tears, as her attention turned inevitably back to last night’s fiasco. “A few were bold enough to even call me a traitor.”
“Ponies have done that before,” Celestia muttered between chomps. She cast her eyes down and away from her sister, as her own guilt over the situation ate away from inside. “I’ve done what I can to stop it, but you did threaten to destroy Equestria. I know it wasn’t your intention, and whatever it was that possessed you is more to blame. But the rest of Equestria still needs to learn that lesson. It’s going to take some time.”
Luna, not feeling very hungry anymore, pushed her plate aside. “That is the same thing you have said every day since my return. And before I became Nightmare Moon. And when we first became princesses.” The moon princess’ teeth ground against each other in a most un-royal way as she spoke. “We have lived for thousands of years, sister, and every year has been worse than the last. Ever since we took the crown, you have been the object of everypony’s worship, while I have been vilified by foals and grown ponies alike!”
Celestia’s eyes grew wide with worry. “L-Luna, please! It’s not like-”
Finally, Luna could hold back no more. “I’m a failure!” Her head slammed onto the table so hard that the entire chamber shook from the impact. “I cannot balance a simple budget, fix the city’s water shortage, or even entertain guests without something going wrong! I-I am unfit to-”
“PRINCESS LUNA!”
Both princesses snapped around towards the dining room doors, just as an exhausted maid came charging through. Her eyes were bloodshot; whatever it was she had seen, it was obviously a shock. “What is it?” Luna asked.
The maid gasped for air, speaking only when her lungs were sufficiently filled. “Th-The palace entry foyer! Y-You have to see this!”
----------
Luna couldn’t believe it. The palace’s entire front foyer was overrun with roses, wreaths, bouquets (both of the edible and inedible variety), and dozens upon dozens of cards, all of them signed by countless ponies. Not to mention the throng of guests still standing by the castle doors. Luna’s eyes narrowed as she recognized the crowd. A few were missing, but there were still enough familiar faces for her to be sure.
They were the same ponies from the previous night.
The night princess cleared her throat, her eyes never wandering from the rather shameful-looking equines before her. “Good morning. Is there something we can help you with?”
The aristocrats were silent. They cast their eyes between each other, as if they were terrified to say whatever it was that had compelled them to return to the castle. Luna had seen enough of that particular emotion to last a million lifetimes, which was conveniently almost as long as she and Celestia had been alive. And from her vantage point behind a pillar, Princess Celestia watched and waited for the inevitable betrayal.
Finally, Raisinette took a few steps forward, her head bowed towards the floor. “Y-Your Majesty, we wished to…to talk to you about last night.”
Luna nodded in acknowledgment, already mentally preparing whatever groveling apology they would no doubt be demanding. “Very well. Please be fast, however. I have quite a bit of business to attend to.”
Celestia winced. She knew where this was going. Luna, you need to get out of there. This is all just a revenge scheme of theirs. It always is.
Another mare stepped forward, her head also bowed. “After you left last night, we all had a little talk about what you said. You remember, about Princess Celestia hating us?”
Luna nodded sadly. Here it comes…
“Well, we looked over some of the things we have done the last few years,” the mare continued. “And...we’re sorry.”
The three ponies glanced about in surprise. None of them had expected anything like that. Luna continued to eye the small group warily. “I-I am afraid I do not understand?”
One of the stallions, the same one that had called her a traitor to Equestria just a night before, was the next to approach. “Princess Celestia has always been a part of our lives. She was there when we were born, when our parents were born, and even before many of our families even came to Equestria.”
Another pony stepped forward. “The princess herself elevated many of our families to power. She gave us land, titles, and responsibilities, in exchange for helping her rule Equestria. But…we haven’t done anything like that in such a long time. The princess runs the country so efficiently that many of us don’t have any purpose anymore.”
And another mare. “All this fighting and scheming you say we did? We only did that because it was what we thought Celestia wanted. She never seemed to openly oppose it. Duels are still legal all over Equestria. My own grandparents destroyed an entire house just so they could get close to the princess.” Her head – and heart – sank even more. “I feel so ashamed of my own bloodline.”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “And what does all this discussion mean?”
Raisinette finished. “It means…It means…” She choked back a few tears before continuing. “It means you were right about everything. We were so selfish and pig-headed that we drove away the one pony we all want to impress. We were hoping you could talk to Celestia for us.”
The alicorn was stunned speechless. “And what about the flowers? And these cards?”
“We-We did still remember what Celestia’s favorite flowers were,” muttered another member of Equestria’s disgraced elite. “One of the guards was willing to show us the way to the same flower shop that provided those lovely arrangements from last night, and…”
“A-And she had a lot of ‘We’re Sorry’ cards in the back, and….”
Luna nodded. “I believe I understand now. I shall deliver your message to Celestia when she returns. However, that still does not excuse your behavior towards me last night.”
“We understand that,” said Lord Huffy. “None of us have been particularly good at history, at least when it doesn’t involve our own family line.”
“You are Princess Celestia’s sister,” continued Huffy’s hated rival Baron Frazzleberry. “If she felt she could leave Equestria in your hooves, then we have no room to argue.”
“I- I see,” Luna whispered.
Another mare stepped forward. “That’s why we want to offer you our help. We understand there are situations all over Equestria that need to be resolved. Your orders will be executed to the fullest of our potential.”
“We already run businesses and charities all over Equestria,” said another stallion. “Just give us the word, and we will do what is needed.”
Luna was speechless. On the one hoof, this offer was most certainly more about pleasing Celestia than it was about actually helping Luna manage Equestria. And then again, they do seem somewhat apologetic. Given their behavior last night, I suppose that is the best I can hope for. “Very well. But there shall be some conditions. First, you are to be held to your word, and I shall not waste my time with those that cannot be trusted. And second, please, do not keep referring to me only as ‘Celestia’s sister.’ I have accomplished just as much as she, and deserve the same respect. Understood?”
----------
As the last of the nobleponies filed out of the castle, Luna turned and started on her way towards the throne room. Once the coast was clear, however, she paused by Celestia’s hiding spot. “What do you think, sister? Can we trust them?”
Celestia crossed her eyes. “After all I’ve said the last few days, do you really have to ask that question?”
Luna sighed. “Then I guess I shall have to resort to eavesdropping.”
A moment’s concentration later, Luna’s horn was swashed in a dark blue glow. The light traveled towards the sides of her head, ending its journey nestled in her ear canal. At the same time, her thoughts were focused on the crowd of ponies being slowly escorted outside. Her senses were immediately assaulted with a cacophony of different sounds, from the loudest stomp of a pony’s leg to the gentle rustling of a butterfly’s wings, but the princess soon managed to filter everything but the very thoughts of the ponies out.
“Did you see how she didn’t trust us? I knew turning over a new leaf would be difficult.”
“It must be terrible to have a sister like Celestia. Being compared to somepony like that would drive anypony mad.”
“Nightmare Moon was a traitor…but I just don’t know about Princess Luna.”
“I like tacos.”
“Please don’t be angry with us anymore, Princess Celestia. We can be good ponies, too.”
And so it continued on and on. Luna’s frown soon turned to a smile, confusing the heck out of the filly. “What’s going on, Luna? What are they saying?”
Luna’s eyes opened, filled with new life. The spell dissipated, the last whiffs of blue smoke floating out of the alicorn’s ears like a gentle breeze. “You are not going to believe it, but they appear to be genuine in their intentions.”
“WHAT?!” Celestia’s voice cracked as she exclaimed her disbelief.
“Perhaps some good can come of this mess, after all,” Luna muttered. “If they are willing to listen to me, then perhaps I can actually get something accomplished before the curse is removed. And when you return to the throne, they will be different ponies from when you left.”
Celestia shook her head furiously. “No no no no no! That isn’t going to happen! They are going to stay as rotten as the day they were born! This has been going on for centuries, dear sister, and they are not going to drop their schemes just because m-mommy…”
Luna’s smile grew. “That’s why they’ll change for you. I may have been gone for a thousand years, but you were still here to nurture Equestria. As far as anypony is concerned, we are the mothers of the entire pony species, and that gives one certain…advantages when it comes to communication. And sometimes, when a foal is behaving badly, a mother has to put her hoof down and let them know what they are doing is wrong.”
“B-But…I…I mean…”
“I guess foals just like me more,” Luna said, complete with a wink at her stunned sister. “Now if you will excuse me, I must go attend to my royal duties.”
The night princess turned to leave, only to stop when she heard a whimpering sound coming from behind. The mare spun about, finding herself face to face with a sobbing Princess Celestia. “Wh-What’s wrong? I thought you would be happy about this.”
“Th-They can’t be good ponies,” Celestia whined. “Th-They just can’t. If they could even poss…possibly be redeemed, then…”
The sun princess stopped mid-sentence. She forced her eyes shut even tighter, making her pain even worse. She couldn’t figure out how this had happened. These ponies had made ruling Equestria a living nightmare for generations, and now they were acting like they wanted to be forgiven? There has to be an angle to this S-Some kind of scheme to take over all of Equestria, put everypony into slavery, SOMETHING! I-If they really aren’t all bad, then…
She thought back to her original plan for that party. A few dozen leaves of Poison Joke, carefully laid out on each table. A princess too busy to attend something in her honor. A gathering of Equestria’s biggest wastes of space far too concerned with fighting each other to notice the enchanted plants in front of them. And the next morning, each and every one of them would be inflicted with a curse, seemingly from on high.
And they would finally leave her alone. Oh, she would send them a cure right away, feigning innocence about the whole thing, but the damage would be done. Once they were gone, she would be free to spend more time working on things that actually mattered, rather than try to appease some ungrateful brats that…
Brats. I…I called them brats. I…I…I…
She threw herself onto her sister, wrapping her forelegs around Luna’s chest and pressing her face against the blue alicorn’s fur. The once-younger of the two sat on her haunches and wrapped a leg around Celestia on reflex, pulling her in closer. “C-Celestia?”
The white alicorn filly didn’t answer. She just continued to sob and cough into her sister’s body, shaking with centuries of built-up guilt. Luna was right. I hated them. I actually hated my subjects. I…I was supposed to be a caregiver to all my little ponies, and…and I tried to poison them! Just because I couldn’t stand to be around them!
I-I’m the worst princess ever!
I’M THE WORST MOTHER EVER!
To Be Continued…
Anonymous:
Say it twice... Definitely doomed.
Anonymous:
This wont end well
Anonymous:
"Sarsaparilla has too much sass."
lol
Robert Barba:
Pastel hair. Rainbow's a different set of hues.
Anonymous:
I like tacos.
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Thirteen
Celestia pressed her face against the window’s glass plate, staring down at the rest of Canterlot. Far in the distance, she could make out a series of tents, stands, and rides slowly coming into operation, a sign that the promised carnival would soon be in full swing. No doubt Ruby Dream and Lofty would be running around the fairgrounds in a matter of hours, enjoying a fun and guilt-free life that would forever elude Celestia’s grasp.
Not that she really cared anymore, either.
Bad ponies don’t deserve to have fun, and I’ve been one of the worst ever.
Her burning red eyes could feel that small bit of moisture building up in the eyelid yet again, further frustrating the filly’s attempts to remain at least somewhat mature. I’ve tortured my sister for my own amusement. I ruined one of my students’ lives all because of a stupid, stupid plan to save Luna. I planned to poison my own subjects rather than actually tell them how displeased I was. So…So much has gone wrong these last few centuries. Maybe I should just…
“Sur~prise!”
Celestia’s entire body was suddenly (and quite violently) yanked backwards by a pair of fuzzy pink legs. Pinkie Pie, now confident her captive was secured, quickly slid a pink-and-purple paper party hat onto the filly’s head. The alicorn winced as the elastic band holding the thing in place snapped against her chin, but otherwise looked just as sullen as before. “I assume there is a reason for this interruption, Miss Pie.”
“You bet your hiney there is!” Pinkie yelped. “There’s a sad little filly in this room, and there’s no way Pinkie Pie could let such a terrible thing slide!”
Throwing Celestia back on the bed, the pink pony stepped aside, revealing a coned hat-wearing Twilight pushing a silver serving cart. And on that cart sat the biggest cake the sun princess had ever seen. Every inch of it oozed and dripped with chocolate frosting, and her nose could pick out the scent of strawberries and vanilla icing from within its seductive exterior.
The princess could feel tiny drops of spittle collecting on the underside of her lips, just threatening to come bursting out to celebrate this most wonderful of pastries sitting before her. “Y-You mean this is for me?”
“Yes it is, your Highness!” said Twilight. “Princess Luna saw how unhappy you were about the whole nobility thing, so she had the kitchen whip this thing up in a snap!”
“It’s amazing what you can do with some eggs and a whole bunch of unicorns!” Pinkie added.
Celestia sniffled and wiped a tear from her eye. “It’s…It’s so wonderful. Thank you!!”
From her position behind the cart, Twilight smiled. The sight of her mentor smiling was always one of the quickest ways for her to feel proud of herself, whether or not said mentor was an adult at this point. Pinkie, meanwhile, was well within her element here. She may have lacked Twilight’s penchant for studying and memorizing every aspect of magic from the last six thousand years, but she knew how to make a filly smile.
Levitating a cake server from the cart’s lower compartment, Twilight sliced off a large chunk of cake. Celestia could feel the saliva building up inside her mouth as the piece of pastry slid onto an ornate white plate before being passed to Pinkie. The Earth pony leaned forward, catching the dish with the top of her head before bending down and gently sliding it onto Celestia’s bed. “Now, Mama Pie always said you shouldn’t eat in your bed, but you’re a princess, so I guess you kinda outrank her.”
Celestia nodded. “Point taken.”
“And we’re really close to a cure, so you’ll be back to normal before you know it!” said Twilight.
Celestia was halfway towards the dessert, her mouth opened and ready to gobble it whole.
“And you won’t have to worry about that hospital thing ever again!”
What?
Celestia’s entire body froze just inches from the cake slice. A wave of confusion washed over her instantaneously as she backed up into her sitting position. “Wh-What hospital thing?”
Twilight immediately jumped between her princess and her friend, giggling even more nervously than before. “Ah ha ha ha ha! Oh Pinkie, you don’t have to talk about that old thing!”
The top covers of Celestia’s bedspread curled underneath her forehooves. “No, tell me, what hospital thing?”
Pinkie opened her mouth to answer, only for it to be filled with Twilight’s hoof. The lavender unicorn turned her head towards the filly, her eyes tightly shut and her breathing heavy. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just one of those silly little rumors that fly by every now and again.” Her eyes reopened as she pointed her free forehoof at the cake. “Oh, look at that! Your favorite cake! Well, I guess you’ll want to be gobbling it up now, so I’ll just be…”
Twilight’s desperate pleas to escape this conversation stopped cold as her eyes met with Celestia’s. The white alicorn filly had risen to all fours during the unicorn’s ramblings, her face perfectly level with that of her student. Her irises burned with the intensity of a million suns, threatening to melt a hole straight through the other side of Twilight’s head if she dared disobey. “Twilight Sparkle, as your princess AND teacher, I demand that you let Pinkie Pie speak.”
Twilight’s brow sagged in a mixture of depression and terror. “B-But…”
“I said let her talk. NOW.”
The bitterness in Celestia’s voice struck a raw nerve with Twilight, especially when it came from the mouth of a foal. Whimpering a small apology under her breath, the faithful student bowed her head and removed her hoof from the struggling Pinkie’s mouth. The pink pony coughed on the lingering taste of hoof from her tongue, trying in vain to get the disgusting feeling as far away as possible. “W-Well, you see, some of the papers this morning maaaaay have mentioned something about some hospital in Canterlot.”
Celestia nodded. “Yes, I know about that. Luna made a visit there yesterday.”
“And…well, there was something in there about you turning down some invitations, and how you don’t care about your subjects, and how Luna is a friend to all children everywhere, but hey, that’s news for ya! Heh heh... You know what? Cake sounds really good right about now!”
The filly’s jaw hung open at Pinkie’s words. “The....They think I don’t care?”
Sensing imminent sadness on her princess’ part, Twilight trotted up to the bed and placed a hoof on Celestia’s back. “There’s nothing to worry about. It’s probably just some hotshot newspony trying to make name for themselves by taking on the princess.”
“Well…actually…”
Twilight snapped her neck back towards Pinkie so fast she almost gave herself whiplash. “Stop it, Pinkie!”
“N-No,” Celestia muttered. “I-I need to know how bad it really is.”
“Um…that one I just mentioned was in the Equestria Daily. Now the other newspapers weren’t quite so nice…”
Celestia gulped. “H-H-How ‘not so nice’ were they?”
Pinkie took a few steps away from the panicking princess and her increasingly agitated student, just in case she had to gallop back to Ponyville as fast as her legs could carry her. “T-The Huffington Post said you were selfish and stuck-up. The Trottingham Gazette said you were locking up your sister so nopony would know how much better she was. And the Canterlot Times said something about you not being responsible enough to attend to your subjects.”
The pony quickly grabbed the entire serving cart and wheeled it between her and the others. “L-L-Look, gals! We have cake! Lots of cake! And I can get some ice cream, some streamers, ANYTHING YOU WANT!”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “And how did you know all this?”
“We’re at the center of Equestria’s government,” Celestia muttered. “My sister and I have a subscription to every newspaper in the country. It…It helps us keep in touch with what’s going on around Equestria.” The filly wiped her eyes with one leg. “At least…it was supposed to keep us in touch.”
“N-Now there,” said Twilight. “I mean, so what if a few ponies are being negative? You’re still the best princess ever, and once you’re back to normal, you’ll prove it to everypony in Equestria! All we have to do is…”
“Twilight…I need to talk to you about that.” Celestia’s face was sullen as she pulled away from the unicorn’s grip. “These last few days, I’ve been mulling over something. What happened this morning just cemented it in my mind. Twilight…I don’t want to go back.”
A wave of light nausea washed over Twilight almost immediately. “P-Princess Celestia! Do you mean…I mean…are you saying…WHAT?!”
“What do you mean, ‘You don’t want to go back?’” asked Pinkie. “I thought you were in Canterlot already. Where would you be going back to anyway?”
Celestia heaved a sigh. “What I mean is, I don’t want to go back to being a princess right now. All the things that have been happening lately have shown I do not deserve the responsibility that comes with the position.”
“B-But everypony out there loves you!” said Twilight.
Celestia scoffed. “What they love is a mask. If anypony knew who I really am, they would probably storm the castle and hurl me off the highest parapet without so much as a second’s notice. Kuchen was right. I really am a fraud.”
“Now come on!” chimed Pinkie. “I don’t care what that crazy voice in my head said! You’re the most awesomest princess ever! Now eat your cake and let’s party!”
The princess looked down at the slide before her. A few minutes ago, it had seemed like it would be the highlight of her day. But now she could see it as it really was. It’s a pity cake. “I-I’m not hungry anymore. J-Just….please. I…I need to be alone for a little while.”
The two adult ponies exchanged worried glances, but said nothing else on the subject. Even Pinkie could see there was no way she could cheer up the princess like this. Sighing, they picked up the slice, set it back on the cart, and wheeled the whole thing out with them. Once she was sure neither one was just going to pop back in and try to cheer her up some more, Celestia returned to looking out the window.
I’ve been a bad pony. There’s no doubt about it anymore. I…I…
Then it struck her. Wait a minute. Sitting here and just moping isn’t going to solve anything. Even Luna attempted to go out there and make ponies like her! And if they don’t like Princess Celestia anymore, maybe they’ll like the miniature version more.
With a mighty bounce, Celestia leaped to her hooves. A look of determination was etched over her whole body. “I am going to that carnival today, and there’s not a thing Luna or Twilight can do to stop me! All I have to do is get a disguise! And I know just where to start!”
----------
Luna’s quill waved up and down every single line of the parchment, her hornwriting looking far sloppier than her usual high standards. Nevertheless, Trottingham’s mayor wanted to know when the next emergency grain shipment was coming in, and it was her duty to let the fair city know how close to ruin they truly were at this late date. And then there was the notice from the Disaster Relief Service, letting her know that most of the damage to the city had finally been repaired. Thousands of ponies still remained homeless, however, and progress on that front was painstakingly slow.
Just another typical day for a princess, she joked to herself.
Still, she had won a large victory today, however unintentionally. Her rage-induced speech to the nobles had accomplished something neither she or her sister had ever thought possible. There would, of course, be a few members of Equestria’s elite that still refused to work with her, and they may someday regress back to their selfish, spoiled attitudes, but for the moment, Luna had a rather important segment of pony society willing to help her.
It was certainly more than Celestia ever had.
Luna’s quill froze in place, her thoughts no longer focused on the magic she was trying to perform. Her mind kept returning to what had happened that very morning, at the incident in the foyer. What should have been a moment of triumph for the sisters had instead turned the once-strong Celestia into a crying, bawling mess. And worse of all, Luna knew Celestia would almost certainly never tell her everything that was going on. All she could do was smuggle the filly back to her room and let her expel her emotions in private.
The moon princess’ eyes turned towards the office door. I need to go see her. I need to know she’s okay. I need…
With a heavy sigh, Luna closed her eyes and turned her attention back to the work in front of her. There was still a lot of work to do today, and she could not afford to fall any more behind. I need to get all these things done. And what am I supposed to tell her? That I’m sorry I accidentally overshadowed her at her own job?
The princess would have continued wallowing in her own misery had her eye not caught her schedule, its pages laid out next to her work area. A quick glance confirmed her suspicions. If I just move my meeting with the Treasury to tomorrow, I can finish the budget and get the trade agreement with the Griffons ready for ratification. And if I hurry, I can finalize the weather schedule for the next month. And THAT would free up a few hours in the afternoon…
----------
Deep within the recesses of the Royal Barracks sat the most heavily-guarded barber shop in Equestria. Such security was a necessity, as this unassuming wooden room held the royal dyes used to color-coordinate the entire Royal Guard. Many of the ingredients were harvested from the palace’s own gardens, where Princess Celestia enchanted them every year with spells known only to the Royal Pony Sisters. Then they got shipped to a secret factory in Hoofington, where they were mixed in with the rest of the ingredients and finished before being shipped back to Canterlot in nondescript wooden boxes.
Needless to say, the things were worth about twice their weight in gold, if only for the prestige of coming from the castle itself. That, and they were also quick-drying, stuck to feathers without disrupting a pegasus’ ability to fly, and could be removed with just a simple magic spell.
The small room was quiet today. The handful of guards due for a reapplication were still on patrol, and the shop’s unicorn proprietor, Curly Top, was far more interested in cleaning up that small red splotch from yesterday. New recruits were always the hardest ones to work with…
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a bell from the door behind him. Rising from the floor, he slowly spun on his hooves. “I’m sorry, but you must have appo…int….ment…”
Curly’s mouth popped open at the sight before him. Princess Celestia, still a small filly, stood at the door to the barracks. It was obvious from her face alone that she was getting rather tired of this reaction. “Mr. Top, can you please stop staring? I need your help.”
“Ah…Uh…Of course!” Curly mumbled. He threw his rag aside, darted back behind his chair, and swiveled it about so the princess could park her royal buttocks on the worn velvet cushion. Once his latest customer was properly seated, the hapless barber spun the chair again so it was facing the mirror. “So…how can I help you today?”
Celestia gulped. She really didn’t want to disrupt her appearance, but if she wanted to get out of the palace unnoticed, she had no choice. “I need…a dye job.”
The barber gasped. “A…dye job? B-But your Highness, why on Equestria would you want to do something like that? Your mane looks wonderful as it is!”
“I need more than the mane,” Celestia said softly. “I need you to change every inch of my body. My mane, my tail, and my coat all have to be different.”
“O-Of course,” the barber said. “B-But does Princess Luna know about this? Maybe we should ask…”
Celestia’s response was short, cross, and very direct. “I am still your princess, Mr. Top. Please, please don’t make me command you to do this!”
The stallion gulped. “W-Well, if you wish. Just…let me find an appropriate color…”
----------
Twilight tossed aside yet another pile of books with a frustrated groan. Her latest page of notes still sat on the table before her, its emptiness serving only to mock the unicorn’s futile quest. “This is hopeless! We’ve gone as far as we can with all of this, and we still don’t have a working spell!”
Brushing off the books Twilight had accidentally dumped on her, Pinkie moved ever closer to her friend. “What are you talking about? You have that mean old unicorn’s notes, that evil unicorn’s book, and your best not-a-unicorn friend here to help you! How can the smartiest pony in all of Equestria be stumped?”
“Because it just doesn’t add up!” Twilight shouted. The sound of her voice was enough to send Pinkie bouncing back a good two feet “We can’t just reverse the spell’s steps. We have to completely alter the spells used AND arrange them in a way that will not only be compatible with every single spell, but will ALSO not set off any more failsafes! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS?!”
The unicorn pressed both of her forhooves and her head against the table, grumbling and groaning from the sheer tension of this mess. Not a single sound could be heard in the room, save for Twilight’s frustrated sobbing. It took a short while before Pinkie could muster the courage to approach her friend. “Twilight…is something else wrong?”
Twilight slowly raised her eyes, if only to show some sign of life. “It’s my fault, Pinkie.”
The pink pony raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”
The unicorn slowly slid her legs and head off the furniture. Her quivering eyes betrayed the well of emotions threatening to explode within. “When this all started, right after we learned that the spell wouldn’t wear off on Princess Celestia, Princess Luna told me to treat her sister like an adult. She thought that if we treated Celestia like a filly, it would only make her more like one. But I didn’t listen.”
The unicorn stifled a sniff. She began pacing around the room, if only to keep her mind off the feelings inside. “It…It was just so hard to watch her be so miserable. She seemed so helpless at everything. And then Princess Luna told me about how hard her foalhood was, and…I couldn’t help it. I gave her toys. I asked Luna to let her play and have fun. And even if I seemed a little surprised, I was really happy when she found a filly she could play with. But now? What if I really did make her want to stay like this? What if we lose the Princess Celestia we all love forever?”
The unicorn slowly sank into a corner of the room, curling into a small ball. “I…I made a real mess of things, haven’t I?”
Pinkie said nothing, instead settling on tapping her chin in deep thought. All throughout Twilight’s small spiel, she was hard at work processing the entire dilemma. Let’s see…how do I get all these sad ponies happy again? I need to do something fast, before Twilight or Princess Celestia really loses it. But I don’t know enough about magic, and there’s not enough time to learn all the stuff that meany great-whatever-father of mine knew…
Somewhere within the Easy Bake Oven that was Pinkie’s mind, a small light bulb flashed to life. She scooped up the list of spells Princess Celestia asked her to make last night and trotted up to Twilight, depositing the sheet in front of her friend. “Hey, do you remember how this spell works?”
Twilight raised her head, while the rest of her body stayed in a fetal position on the ground. “I-It starts with some possession and mind control spells, followed by…”
“So, this possessive-thingy spell can let somepony enter another pony’s brain?”
Twilight nodded. “That’s why Celestia had all these spells outlawed. If they were good enough, a pony could not only read somepony’s mind, but could actually control the victim’s thoughts and actions. The actual spell just needs you to go through their memories, but…”
Pinkie raised a hoof. “I think I have some personal experience with this. What I mean is, why are we looking through a bunch of dusty old books when the answer’s sitting right in front of you?”
“Right in front of me? What do you…”
Twilight’s eyes popped out like balloons. The growing grin on Pinkie’s face did little to make her feel better. The unicorn leaped to her hooves so fast several of the books in the room shook. “No no no no no! We can’t…I mean…No! There is NO WAY we are going to…I mean…”
“Uhp uhp uhp!” Pinkie clamped a hoof over her friend’s mouth, eyeing her with surprisingly strong resolution. Twilight couldn’t help but feel more than a little intimidated by her friend’s iron will. “Before you go telling me how this is a bad thing and we’re all gonna get in trouble and have to stand in a corner, I want you to think about something. We need to find a cure, and fast. We could spend weeks searching through every book in Equestria until we can stumble across exactly what Kuchen used to make all his spells work together, and then tie it all together with string cheese and busted-up laces. OR you just pop into my little head here and make him tell us everything!”
“B-But Pinkie! Do you have any idea how dangerous this could be?”
All her protesting earned was another smile from Pinkie. “Well, DUH! I mean, my mind is probably some big, scary place or something. But we need to get this thing done.”
Twilight’s forelegs kicked at the ground nervously. “B-But she said she didn’t want to be normal again!”
“But if we have a way to fix it, then there’s no problem!” Pinkie yelped. “Think about it. We zap her back to normal, she goes and does her princess thing for a while, and whenever she feels like she needs to escape for a while, BAM! We can just turn her back into a filly and cure her whenever!”
The idea did little to calm Twilight’s nerves. If something like this becomes so easy to reverse, Celestia’s problems still won’t be over. At this rate, she’ll still opt to stay a filly. But…
Twilight gave a defeated, resigned sigh. “Alright, we’ll give it a try.”
----------
“And…done!”
Celestia squirmed in her seat. Her hooves were covering her eyes so tightly she was afraid her legs would merge with her head. “I-Is it okay? Can I look now?’
“Of course,” said Curly.
Slowly, Celestia moved her legs down, taking a long look in the mirror. What she saw staring back was a rather different pony than the one that had entered the shop only moments before. Her entire coat was a dark pink, while her mane and tail were now primarily green-and-blue. Her hair’s natural fluidity and shifting color scheme were a thing of the past, held in place with what must have been an entire barrel’s worth of gel and hair spray.
Curly took a few steps back at his monarch’s speechless surprise. “I-Is it to your liking?”
“It’s…perfect,” Celestia said. I look like something that just wandered out of a kindergarten classroom. This should be a perfect disguise. Why would anypony think Princess Celestia would EVER allow anypony to color herself like this?”
The princess hopped down from her seat, still admiring/abhorring her disguise. Then she noticed the cutie mark. “I…take it that can’t be colored over?”
The poor Barber of Canterlot sighed. “I tried over and over, but nothing would stick to it. Cutie marks are always the hardest thing to change, I’m afraid. Even some of the guards can’t have their marks altered without shaving the whole area.”
Well, I’m certainly not in the mood for that. “Thank you, good sir. I will make sure you get a little extra in your next paycheck.” And with that, she darted off for her next destination…
----------
Within his private study, Blueblood continued to wait impatiently for his spies to return. The guards patrolling his estate had refused to let up, although whether this was out of duty or fear of Luna’s wrath was one of those things beyond his scope of understanding. Even worse, the agency he had hired may be capable of getting into anything, but they also had an annoying tendency to disguise themselves even when delivering intel. He had no idea who would actually be…
“Excuse me, Prince Blueblood, but I have to clean right over there.”
Blueblood broke from his fuming to see a green unicorn mare standing before him, dressed in the same maid outfit he forced all his non-colt employees to wear. With a huff, he stepped aside, allowing the pony to continue dusting. He would have left the room altogether had she not spoken up again. “So, did you hear about the party last night?”
The prince froze, his ears twitching in anticipation. This had to be one of his spies. “I’m afraid I couldn’t attend. What happened?”
“It seems Princess Luna lost her temper at a few nobles. She even told them that Princess Celestia hated them all. Can you believe it?”
Blueblood scoffed. “Surely just another falsehood. You can’t believe a word that comes from that monster’s mouth.”
The mare nodded, still dusting away. “But that’s not the best part. One of the guests apparently saw something inside the palace itself: a filly that looked exactly like Princess Celestia.”
“Wh-What?” Blueblood’s curiosity only grew at this news. “Do you have any idea who she is? Celestia’s child, perhaps?”
The mare shrugged. “Beats me. All I know is, a white filly with wings and a horn was hanging around the palace. Now, if I was a PI, I’d be asking for my paycheck right now.”
Blueblood rapped his jaw, searching for some kind of answer from all this information. If Celestia really did have a child, it would be a delicious scandal. If I combined it with her up and vanishing, I can even make her out to be a deadbeat parent. And Princess Luna would have no choice but to approve of Ponyville’s destruction. If Celestia goes, so does she...
“If I was the kind of stallion that hired such ponies, I would double their salary if they followed up on this job,” he said.
The mare stopped dusting and turned about in surprise. “Wh-What do you mean?”
“Well, this is a pretty tall accusation,” said Blueblood. “Ponies still love Princess Celestia, after all. If I were to use this as a tool, I would need proof.”
The mare’s eyes sunk into her skull. “Y-You mean…”
Blueblood nodded, confirming her worst fears. “I need you to break into Canterlot Castle.”
----------
Luna’s bedroom was thankfully unoccupied, save for the two guards posted just outside the room. The two looked curiously on as a pink-coated alicorn with strange highlights wandered up to the two with a big, flashy smile. “Good morning. If you will excuse me, I need to…”
Celestia skidded to a halt as the razor-sharp wings of her own guards snapped in front of her. Frowning, she turned her attention upwards towards the two. They returned her glare with their own, and even Celestia had to shrink back a little to avoid the full force of their gaze. “Good sirs, I need to go into my sister’s room! There’s something inside that belongs to me!”
“We’re sorry, your Highness,” said one of the guards, “but Princess Luna has given us strict orders to not allow anypony inside her quarters without permission! We have heard nothing of you being allowed in today.”
The filly’s mouth twisted itself into an almost perfect “o” as she comprehended what the guards were saying. “B-But I’m Princess Celestia!”
The guards looked at each other nervously. “We…understand that, your Majesty, but Princess Luna is our master, too. We must follow her orders as well as yours.”
“Oh, of all the…” Celestia paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and cleared her mind of any unwanted frustrations. There was no point in acting like a foal about this. “Very well. But I need something out of there. I promise you, I will not be long.”
The two guards looked down at the princess, then back at themselves, and finally back to the princess. Celestia’s face was seemingly stuck in a Cheshire-like grin, the kind that signaled its wearer should not be trusted with anything. Nevertheless, the two sighed in defeat. “We obey your command, your Highness,” they said in unison. Their wings dropped, and Celestia was finally allowed admittance.
Once she was inside, Celestia pushed the door closed with one hind leg before continuing deeper into the chamber. Fortunately, her sister’s room was almost the same as when the sun princess had been humiliated by Luna, save for that one crack in the far wall. Even more fortunately, the costume chest was still in the same spot as before, just beckoning somepony to open it up and fiddle around with its insides.
Using both forelegs, and a great deal of strength, Celestia managed to force the chest open. Inside sat the dozens of garments Luna had picked out for her insane revenge scheme. The formerly-white alicorn quickly went to the unenviable task of sorting through each costume, searching for something she could use for her escape.
Let’s see here… No way I’m doing a cowgirl. Firepony would stand out too much. A Spider-Mare costume? A wizard hat? Wait… does a vest and glasses count as a disguise? Luna covered just about every base here. Good thing Twilight showed up when she did.
Finally, her eyes cast themselves upon the perfect costume. Digging down into the very bottom of the chest, her teeth gripped onto a plain cloth dress. With a heavy yank, she and the dress were sent falling backwards onto the floor. Cursing herself silently for her clumsiness, Celestia threw the dress aside and regarded it much more closely. It was a rather basic, blue summer dress, one that ran the full the length of her body down to the haunches. That was more than enough to cover her wings and cutie mark.
Just perfect.
----------
Luna’s hoof rapped on Celestia’s door, the dark blue mare shifting about nervously. “Hello? Celestia? Are you all right?”
No response.
“Sister, I want to talk to you. I know things haven’t been going as well as we had hoped, but that’s no reason to lock yourself in your bedroom all day.”
Still no response
Luna sighed. “Celestia, I…I understand if you’re angry. I never meant for all this to happen. I had no idea last night would go as it did, or that the nobles would react like this. You must remember, though, that you are still ‘Princess of Equestria, Elder of the Royal Pony Sisters and Steward of the Sun.’ I know you don’t like long titles, but that is the honest truth.”
And yet again, nothing.
“I-I know I haven’t been the best sister, either. There have been so many things going on that I have not made any time to spend with you. And I would like you to know that…I’m sorry. That’s why I came by. I want to start making it up to you.”
Using her magic, Luna unlatched the door and pushed it open. Before the portal had finished swinging, she closed her eyes tight and put on a big, friendly smile. She had seen other ponies do this, and it had appeared to have a calming effect on foals whenever they did it. In any case, she was certain Celestia would appreciate the gesture. “Little sister, get ready. We’re going to the carn-”
It was right at that moment, that small little bit of time and space, that Luna realized something was very wrong with Celestia’s room. Namely, there wasn’t a Celestia in it. Even worse, her window was opened, and there was a bedsheet tied to the ledge…
The blue alicorn sprang to the window, her face wrought with worry. The sheet had been tied to several others, creating a rope just long enough to reach a lower ledge in the castle. From there, it would be easy for a filly to hop her way down a few more ledges to the ground below. And from there…
No.
OH NO!
Luna charged out the room so fast, her wingspan threatened to take over half the wall. She leveled her gaze at the nearest guards, more than a little angry at their inattention. “Ready the patrols! I want every inch of ground in this castle and Canterlot searched! Princess Celestia is missing!”
----------
Mustering her tiny strength, Celestia hoisted herself out of the sewer. The sweet taste of fresh air in her lungs was the greatest relief the pony had felt in a very long time. Wiping the last bit of gunk from her eyes, the filly pushed the lid back onto the hole and took her first, grand view of Canterlot in days.
It was right about then that she realized a critical flaw in her plan.
For the first time, Celestia could see the modern Equestria through the eyes of a regular filly. The very idea of viewing her country from a new perspective had initially delighted the princess; now it only served to terrify her. In her haste to escape, however, she had not accounted for how…big things were now. Ponies she had once towered over were now enormous, absent-mindedly stomping around her like she didn’t even exist. Every building, lamppost, bench, and fountain of herself might as well have been built for giants, and she could barely manage to jump onto one of the benches to get a better view of the park she had arrived in.
Through her disguise, Celestia could feel the warmth of the sun’s light. It was as if the orb was pleading for its true master’s return. The gentle rustling of leaves of the wind sounded like the greatest symphony after so many days of confinement, and the simple sight of ponies that weren’t servants or soldiers gave the princess at least some sense of connection to the world at large. There were even a few fillies and colts, whiling away their weekend playing games rather than study.
Celestia smirked at the sight. That’s something Twilight would never do.
The princess’ attention returned to her actual objective. Even at this size, she knew the way to the fairgrounds like the back of her hoof. Leaping down from her bench, Celestia began her trek to the target zone. The filly darted and weaved through the crowds like a thread through a needle, nimbly avoiding being crushed underhoof by some gawk-eyed yearling or unassuming mare.
She knew she was getting close when the sounds and scents of things otherwise unrecognizable struck her. The odor of grease and fat burning together was something she had not experienced in a very long time, not since her guards and advisors stopped letting her go to these things lest she make a foal of herself. And the squeaking of gears and metal from the rides was accompanied by the loud, gleeful screams and shouts of many a pony, young and old alike.
Her smile only grew as she reached the carnival gates. Even from this position, she could make out all the tents and stalls, each one anxiously awaiting the latest pony brave enough to try its wares. Everything from knick-knacks and games to rides and food awaited her on the other end. Celestia could only feel the sense of excitement swell within her until it was almost ready to burst.
This is going to be wonderful!
----------
Twilight gulped loudly. “A-Alright. Are you ready to give this a try?”
Pinkie laid herself upon the floor. She looked up to Twilight like a small puppy. “Uh huh. Let’s do this thing!”
“A-Alright…”
Twilight leaned over towards Pinkie, until the end of her horn tapped against the latter’s forehead. Slowly but surely, the mass of energy needed to perform the spell began to surge its way down the unicorn’s bony appendage, bathing it in a radiant purple glow. Pinkie closed her eyes, despite how pretty it all looked. A few more grunts, a quick mental chant, and…
----------
As Celestia wandered into the carnival’s makeshift midway, she couldn’t help but be more than a little overwhelmed by all the sights, smells, and incredibly pushy ponies that surrounded her. It was more like she was wandering through a forest of legs than a regular fairground. All this accomplished was to make it harder for her to actually see where she was going.
Fortunately, she finally managed to find something to do: a ring toss booth. Well, that’s a start.
With a huff, she managed to jump onto the tall stool provided by the stall’s proprietor, a pony dressed in an outfit that would have been laughed out of a Vaudeville theater. Thankfully for the princess, he obviously failed to discern her true identity. “Well, how about it, little lady? Care to give the ring a toss?”
Celestia eyed the game’s mechanisms, weighing in the pros and cons of actually trying to compete. All she would have to do was throw a metal ring – which would almost certainly be loaded to make it heavier – onto an incredibly fat pole at the far end of the booth. That meant a gap of at least ten feet, and it would have to be high enough to actually reach the top of the pole itself without bouncing. Well, you only live once, as they say. “Sure! I’ll give it a go!”
The filly dropped a few bits from her pouch, grabbed a nearby ring with her teeth, and gave it a toss. The metal circle flew about twelve feet before landing in the dirt. The sideshow reject gave a small laugh at the incognito alicorn’s failure. “Hey, you missed, pal!”
Celestia sighed. Oh well. It’s not like you needed a giant stuffed pig anyway.
----------
Twilight had never actually entered a possessing ghost’s mind before.
She had never even entered a regular pony’s mind before.
But now that she was inside…wherever it was that Kuchen’s spell resided, she did not wish to repeat the experience.
When Pinkie had first pitched the idea of entering her head to find a cure, Twilight figured any representation of her friend’s mindset would involve happy little ponies dancing about, or perhaps some kind of perpetual Pinkie Pie Party. The place she had actually ended up, however, was little more than a dark, ethereal void. Inky blackness filled every inch of her view, save for a shaft of light right above a rock pile in the center of it all.
And standing on that pile was a pony.
Twilight slowly made her way through the abyss, her little avatar’s hooves paddling against the groundless darkness around her. It strained her mind to move so, but she eventually reached the top of the column. The light was intense, and threatened to burn out both her real and mental eyes, but she had come too far into this nightmare to back down.
The pony’s back was turned to her. Even in the fullness of the light, its back was cloaked in shadow, leaving no clearly discernible features. Seeing that she would have to start things, Twilight cleared her throat. “G-Good morning. My name is…”
“Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight froze. Her avatar could feel her real body’s blood run cold. The voice she had just heard was not that of a normal pony. It seemed to rattle and shake more than actually speak, and there was an unmistaken hint of malice underneath its words. “How do you know my name?”
“I am a part of Pinkamena, whether she admits it or not,” the pony responded. “The few, brief moments where she would let me out of this accursed limbo gave me glimpses into her life. I saw her stand with a small band of ponies, facing everything from dragons and demigods to the mundane tedium of life itself. So yes, I know you. But do not consider yourself special.”
Twilight could feel something call out to her, warning her to run as far away from here as she could. And yet, she pressed on. “If you know all that, then you probably know why I’m here.”
The pony nodded, still facing the other way. “Yes. It seems Princess Luna has helped me eek out some measure of revenge against the fraud.”
“Princess Celestia is NOT a-”
“BE SILENT!” Twilight almost recoiled right off the rocks. “I never thought of using that particular spell on her. It was one of the first ones I created, well before I learned the true nature of our beloved princess. I must admit, however, that it has been most amusing watching the lot of you tripping over each other to resolve this little situation. And seeing her broken like that? It would bring a tear to my eye if I still had one.”
The voice became lower, sounding more like he was chewing on gravel than anything else. “I was there when she spread her lies about me. She said I was just another crazed fool. But she was just manipulating you like she did me. Like she did to every student she ever had. She was right about one thing: she really doesn’t deserve to rule.”
Twilight had to push back the urge to try wailing on the demonic thing before her. Only the knowledge that Celestia’s adulthood hung in the balance held her hooves. “Kuchen, I know you have reason to dislike Celestia, but we need your help. You’re the only one that can break the spell.”
The pony’s head turned slightly, the darkness still covering it like a blanket. “And what will you give me in return?”
“Help us, and we’ll do whatever we can to help you, short of giving Pinkie over to you.” Twilight knew this wasn’t going to be an easy thing to do. There was no telling what a monster like Kuchen would possibly want. But they were quickly running out of options, and…
“Very well.”
Twilight cocked her avatar’s head. “Wha?”
The figure began to turn. Twilight could sense something was wrong before she could see it, but that did little to assuage her fears. “But, I want my payment in advance…”
Kuchen’s entire body was now facing Twilight, and she could finally see what was alarming her so. There were bits and pieces of pink, a horn, part of a head, and a few other bits and pieces. Most of the stallion’s body, however, was missing. Instead, the empty space was filled with the same inky blackness that surrounded this whole place. Its surface shimmered and danced in the spectacle of the light, which was almost enough to distract Twilight from the mass of tentacles that erupted from Kuchen’s tail.
Before the lavender unicorn could run, the black appendages wrapped around her legs and body, before pulling her closer to the waiting monster. “What I want is a new body. The Pies have kept me alive this long, but I only have a generation or two left before I vanish completely. But you…you are a unicorn already. The most powerful unicorn in Equestria. And that will be more than enough to ensure Celestia’s downfall.”
His eyes locked with Twilight’s. “All I want is your body.”
“STOP, YOU MEANIE!”
Both the terrified pony and the That-Which-Was-Once-A-Pony spun around to face the other side of the rock formation. Standing before them was a pony that was unmistakably Pinkie Pie, down to the pink coat. Even then, Twilight could see that something was horribly off about her. She seemed to jitter back and forth, even when standing perfectly still. Her body wasn’t round like a regular pony, but rather seemed two-dimensional.
And then there was the fact that she was made out of felt.
The still-captive Twilight groaned. So I’m trapped by the spirit of an ancient pony that wants to take over my body, while a fabric cutout of the pony he’s possessing is trying to save me. Oh, why can’t I just have a normal day for once?
----------
TO BE CONTINUED…
Anonymous:
As a brony, I do believe you mean Hoofington post
Anonymous:
Allusion to 'Past Sins'? Lol
eric ledieu:
indeed
Anonymous:
PPPP
evanpeterson:
ROCKY!!!!
Anonymous:
4th wall a bit here, seeing as to us pinkie is always 2D
Anonymous:
I remember that episode...
Anonymous:
Best episode ever. xD
(Welp, not really, hehe)
Sophia N R:
Because you're Twilight Sparkle.
Oh, and this story is amazing.
Anonymous:
^ /)^3^(\
Kryu Connors:
Once I saw Equestria Daily I just hit the floor xD
Xenidae Zhuval:
So this is a Luna apologist's wet dream of a fic? Thansk for getting /everything/ wrong, jerkass.
Anonymous:
An adventure into Pinkie's Brain? This is gonna be good...
Anonymous:
Kuchen's last attempted invention MIND RAPE
Shane Haughey:
Good stuff. Please continue.
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Fourteen
The felt Pinkie hobbled forward a few steps, her every move accented by odd, disjointed swirls and bends at each leg. Her expressions changed dramatically as well, shifted back and forth from angry to happy to angry again without so much as a visible twinge of her muscles. When she spoke next, her mouth did not flap, instead simply popping open and staying that way for the duration of their conversation. “Let my friend go this instant, you overgrown pile of moldy mucus!”
Kuchen’s grip on Twilight only tightened. The unicorn gasped and strained underneath the crushing weight of the tentacles around her. “No, you waste of an heir! I will not allow my one chance at revenge to slip by because a stupid little foal like yourself is weak enough to have friends!”
The felt pony hopped up and down in frustration. Or rather, she spontaneously popped back and forth between the imaginary ground and ten feet in the air. As far as Twilight was concerned, she was far more terrifying than the crime against nature that was currently holding her hostage. “I’m weak? Excuse me, but aren’t you the stupid good-for-nothing who became a mass-murdering psychopath and ruined his entire family for generations because one pony said something bad to him?”
The shambling mass of ooze and pink pony bits lurched towards Pinkie. The sudden shift of mass tore at its tentacles, causing them to thin and twist underneath the widening gap between their place of origin and Twilight’s avatar. “That selfish mule of a princess wasted my talents on some meaningless project! She made me murder my best friend! Were it not for her, I would not be stuck here in the back of a mud pony’s mind while her best friend tried to make me reveal all my secrets!”
“But none of that was Celestia’s fault!” Pinkie retorted. Small puffs of steam, also made of felt, popped in and out of existence around her head as she spoke. Were Twilight not already technically out of her mind, she probably would have had another breakdown at the sight. “She didn’t tell you to go out there and hurt all those ponies! Why, if you hadn’t been so crazy, you-”
“CRAZY?!” The entire chamber echoed with Kuchen’s lamenting roar. “I am not crazy! I was supposedly Celestia’s prized pupil! I worked hard my entire life to win her approval, and what do I get instead? I am murdered at her hooves, my name stripped from all of Equestria, and reduced to this…this…shell of a thing!”
The fiend’s attention gradually drifted back to his prisoner, if only for a moment. “But that will be a thing of the past. With a new, powerful body, I will finally have my revenge on Celestia! And then, I can resume my research into alicorns! It will be so much easier once I have some bodies to dissect…”
Felt Pinkie’s eyes morphed into small pink lines. “There’s only one way to deal with ponies like you…”
Kuchen lowered his horn, ready to destroy Pinkie’s felt imagery entirely; or at least, do whatever amounted to destroying anything inside a pony’s mind. The tentacles were definitely weakening as the monster pulled more and more of his attention away from the unicorn, but they were a long way from snapping. Twilight closed her eyes tightly as the hopelessness of the situation washed over her…
Felt Pinkie took in an unnecessary breath, and…
♪ Oh, you’re an evil old pony and you’re feelin’ mad, ♪
♪ But there’s no reason why you should be so bad. ♪
♪ There’s so much more to life than just grumpin’ around! ♪
♪ So come on and join me and we’ll turn around that frown! ♪
Kuchen’s groaned and gurgled at the song, as well as winced when the spontaneous music notes crashed into what amounted to his body. Twilight just settled on a mournful moan, now thoroughly satisfied that she was well and truly doomed. That is, until she noticed the trajectory of the music notes…
♪ There’s a whole world of joy just waiting for you! ♪
“And I will see it when I escape this prison!”
♪ If only you know how! ♪
“I’ve known how for five hundred years!”
♪ So Pinkie Pie’s gonna give you a hoof ♪
♪ And help you out right now! ♪
“ENOUGH!”
Pinkie immediately ceased her singing, albeit mostly because she was running out of rhymes than because her blob of an ancestor had commanded it. She smiled and switched between open and closed eyes in a disturbing attempt at simulating a pony’s fluttering eyelids. “Yes, Kuchen?”
With a frustrated roar, the stallion stomped his way over to his spawn. His steps ceased only when he was what would amount to a hair’s breadth away from her. “Listen, you foalish excuse for a pony! I am sick of being trapped inside your brain! You had all the potential in the world to change Equestria for the better; to show Celestia how much of a disgrace she truly is! And what do you do? You squander your intellect on…party gimmicks and pointless games!”
“Hey, nothing I do is pointless!” Pinkie retorted. “Your special talent may have been making things up, but my talent is making sure everypony around me is always smiling. And not because some Crazy McCrazy-Nuts is making them do it, but because they want to! So no, I’m not sorry I didn’t follow your plan to build a cannon capable of knocking Canterlot off the mountainside. And I’m not even sorry I didn’t turn my Welcome Wagon (patent pending) into a five hundred-gazillion foot tall death machine that could crush Celestia like a twig! Seriously, what is your obsession with Celestia?”
A single black tentacle shot from Kuchen’s back, snapping itself around the felt Pinkie like a lasso and dangling her in mid-air before her ancestor. “She ruined me! I will see her pay for what she has done!”
“Um, excuse me, guys?”
The blob and his fabric host spun back to the unicorn. Twilight was standing on her own again, the tentacles having been severed by Pinkie’s music notes. “I’ve been listening to what you’ve been saying, and I think I should tell you something!”
Pinkie’s felt head folded in until it could slip through Kuchen’s grip, sending the pony’s body flopping to the ground. Once she had safely landed, the head returned to its “natural” form. “Twilight, you gotta get out of here! Abort the mission!”
“Your friend is right,” Kuchen growled. “You should be running.”
“Oh, I’m not going to do that,” Twilight said with no small degree of smugness. “In fact, I’m willing to help you.”
Both Kuchen and Pinkie let out a squeak that suggested “What?” Twilight took this as a cue to continue. “Magic has advanced a great deal in the last five centuries, and Princess Celestia has taught me every single thing that has changed. I’m willing to give you my mind, if it will help you find some measure of peace.”
“No Twilight, don’t!” Pinkie screamed.
Kuchen was quiet, almost contemplative, as he mulled over Twilight’s offer. It was several moments before he spoke. “You will…let me take over? You know I will destroy Celestia, right? That is the only way I will ever find peace.”
Twilight nodded. “I promise you, I will show you a magic that rivals any other.”
Felt Pinkie was suddenly behind Twilight; a rather amazing feat, considering she seemingly not moved from where she had fallen earlier. “Twilight, what are you doing? You’re going to doom all of Equestria!”
“I accept your proposal,” Kuchen said. “Take us to your mind.”
Twilight nodded, ignoring the frantic pink pony beside her. An aura of purple energy surrounded all three as the dimension around them collapsed into whiteness…
----------
It had been an hour since Luna had first noticed Celestia’s disappearance, and yet there was no sign that any of the guards had found even a feather of the missing princess. Luna’s own searches had proven fruitless; not even a magical scan of the castle and its perimeter was turning her up. Her every step clopped like a small thunderbolt as her fear began to overcome her senses. What if she’s lost? Or hungry? Or sick? What if somepony kidnapped her? She could be halfway out of Equestria by now! Is it my fault? Is it hers? Twilight’s? What did I do wrong? Ijustdon’tknowwhatwent-
“Excuse me, your Highness.”
Luna snapped back to reality at the sound of her guards returning. Accompanying the small patrol was the royal barber, Curly Top. The alicorn just stared at the startled pony in confusion. “What is this? How is this finding my sister?”
Curly Top cleared his throat. He could just feel the guillotine hanging over his head. “W-Well, Princess Luna, I…I have some information about Princess Celestia.”
The stallion had barely a chance to breathe before Luna had tackled him to the ground. She stood over the downed pony, her muzzle pressing against his in a fit of white-hot fury. “Spit it out! What happened to her?”
The barber squealed in fear. “I-I dyed her body! I can even tell you what colors I used!”
Luna’s eyes shot wide open. She had her coat dyed? She must have been making a disguise. But it would be useless unless…
Her face fell. My chambers. That would be the only place she could find something to complete the ensemble.
“Um…excuse me, your Highness?” Curly Top muttered. “Can you please get off of me? I think my ribs are cracking.”
----------
Celestia’s hooves pressed hard against the mechanism. Every breath she took became more and more labored as she struggled to keep her aim steady and true. The target of her assault shifted back and forth uneasily, its every move designed to throw off the filly’s aim and end her day in failure. The filly would have none of that, however. She was Princess Celestia of Equestria, and there was no way…
“We have a winner!”
…she was going to lose. Again.
Unfortunately, her dedication alone had proven inadequate compared to the other fillies and colts around her. By the time the bell had rung, her own dolphin-riding, elephant-riding pony was at the far back end of the track, while the figure belonging to the foal at the far end of the booth sat proudly in the winner’s circle. Her hooves slid off the water nozzle as the rolling target reset itself, preparing for a fresh batch of foals ready to part with their money.
Celestia couldn’t help but feel more than a little disappointed as she hopped back to the ground. She had spent almost an hour in the carnival’s midway, and all she had to show for it was that half of the bits she had smuggled out of the castle were now missing from her pouch. She had certainly not intended to win every event, but she wanted to return to Canterlot Castle with something to show for this day. Even if she wasn’t going to be an adult again for a very long time, some kind of memento of her first day of real freedom would have been nice…
“I won, mom!”
“I know! Isn’t it wonderful?”
The princess’ ears perked straight up at the sound of a familiar pair of voices, originating from the other end of the booth. The filly spun around so fast her head almost dented itself on the nearby stool. There, by some miraculous quirk of the universe, stood Lofty and Ruby Dream, the former clutching a pegasus doll of some kind in her mouth while the latter looked on appreciatively. Neither seemed to pay the incognito alicorn much attention as they strolled past…
Well, until she said something, that is. “Hey, Lofty!”
The filly and her mother stopped dead in their tracks. They may not have been able to pick her out in a crowd, but there was no mistaking that voice. Lofty almost dropped the doll in gleeful surprise, while the latter could feel a disaster slowly looming in the horizon.
Celestia wasn’t quite sure what to make of the silence, either. Usually, her very appearance had been greeted with trumpets blaring, ponies fainting in shock, or at least some kind of minor fanfare. Granted, not having to listen to a small army of the most poorly-trained musicians in Equestria blare out the national anthem every time she walked five feet in public wasn’t anything she would miss in her new life, but being ignored was still a bit of a downer. “Oh…I…I’m sorry if I interrupted anything.”
Lofty tossed the doll up towards Ruby with a quick flick of her head. The latter caught the thing in midair, flipped open a saddlebag with one wing, and deposited the toy before it could get dirty or lost in the shuffle. The filly pegasus failed to notice any of this; she instead went in for a running glomp, tackling poor Celestia before she could make a move otherwise. “Wow, you actually made it! I told mom you probably wanted to go, but she said you would be too busy with other stuff to come! This is so awesome, Pr-”
Celestia quickly shushed the excited pony. “Don’t call me that here. I can’t let anypony else know who I am right now.”
Lofty tilted her head. “Really? Why?”
“Well, you know how everypony is trying to keep this a secret?” Celestia pushed herself back off the floor, dusting herself and her dress as she did so. “If anypony recognized who I was, my sister might get into trouble. That’s why I’m dressed like this. Well, it’s why I’m dressed period.”
Lofty nodded in false understanding. “Oooooooh.”
Ruby, meanwhile, had shifted her head into a position perfectly mirroring Lofty’s former one. “So…I take it your sister knows you’re here?”
Celestia froze a second before answering. Her eyes unconsciously shifted back and forth as she spoke. “Um…of course! It was her idea for me to go out like this!”
Ruby raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh.”
Celestia bent back her rear legs, all in an attempt to pitch herself so she could look the pony straight in the eyes. “I-It’s the truth! You’re not implying that I would lie to you, are you?”
Ruby was silent for a while, her eyes casually scanning every inch of Celestia’s being. The pirncess squirmed under the sight, barely resisting the urge to run. Lofty just watched in complete bewilderment at what was going on around her. “…All right, I believe you. Would you like to join us….um…”
“Sunlight,” Celestia quickly finished.
Lofty’s grin was threatening to devour her face before spreading down the rest of her body. “Oh, this is gonna be the best day ever!”
----------
“And you just let her go in there?” Luna snapped.
The two guards shrank back from their enraged princess, almost wishing they could just duck inside the nearby bedroom and vanish. “W-Well, she was so insistent…”
“A-And she did command us!” the other added.
Luna said nothing, instead glancing her eyes back and forth between the two. Their panicked expressions seemed to scream that they were telling the truth, which only served to infuriate her further. She heaved a great sigh. “Tell me, what did she do?”
The guards, now slightly more relaxed, nodded to each other. “She was inside for about ten minutes. When she left, she was carrying a blue piece of clothing. It looked like a children’s dress.”
A children’s dress…
Luna’s eyes sank back as she remembered the “fun” she had when this whole mess began. There were a lot of dresses in that chest, mostly because she didn’t want to deal with trying to get Celestia’s hind legs into pants. However, she was only able to find one blue dress. It wasn’t designed for a pegasus either, and thus lacked any openings or flaps for the wings. It was a long one, too. Certainly long enough to…
Cover her cutie mark…
The facts all clicked together in Luna’s mind.
The timing of her sister’s disappearance.
Celestia dyeing her precious coat.
And now, wearing a blue dress capable of covering her wings and cutie mark.
“She really was disguising herself,” Luna muttered. “She must have ran off to that accursed carnival!”
The night princess, now in full command mode, turned back to her guards. “I want a guard on patrol across every quarter of the city, especially around the fairgrounds. If you find her, do not approach, but instead report back to me. There are a few things I need to say to my dear, sweet sister…”
----------
Outside Canterlot Castle, Blueblood’s spies sat crouched in the bushes, watching the lowered drawbridge with a mixture of impatience and dread. “So, when does this shift change happen?” the colt asked.
The mare groaned. “I told you, the next round of servants should be here any time now. We can probably sneak in with the crowd when they arrive.”
The colt’s frustrated snarl was palpable. “‘Probably sneak in?’ Do you have any idea what that idiot’s asking us to do? This is Canterlot Castle, THE most guarded place in all of Equestria! Every pony that goes through those gates is checked twice over before they can even set a foot inside, and even then there’s guards at every entrance and exit, patrolling every hallway, and certainly blocking anypony from getting to whatever Princess Luna is hiding! Let’s face it, he asks the impossible!”
“Do you want to get paid or not?” the mare snapped.
“Look, we both know there’s those old sewer tunnels leading into the palace. Why not use those?”
“Because they lead right to the gardens, and we can’t go that deep inside the palace without being-”
The conversation ceased as the air filled with a sudden cadence. It was the sound of heavy wings beating in almost perfect precision, as if following a military drill. The two PIs pushed aside the brush above them, and what they saw confirmed their suspicions. The winged members of the Royal Guard were flying out of the castle, fanning out over the city. The chorus of beats was soon joined by the clopping of armored hooves as several unicorn and Earth pony guards joined in the procession.
“Wow,” muttered the colt. “They must have sent out half the castle’s garrison.”
The mare nodded in agreement. “Which much mean there’s now a far lighter guard inside the castle. Now, what was that about a secret passage?”
----------
The three fairgoing ponies sat themselves at one of the open tables in the carnival’s main eatery area, close enough to smell the food cooking/burning in each stand while far enough away that they could safely hold a conversation. In between them sat a plate of deep-fried hay fries, far crispier and greasier than those found in any normal, health code-obeying restaurant. In addition, Celestia had a deep fried candy bar, Lofty had a six-inch asparagus sub, and Ruby was content on a large, batter-covered pickle on a stick.
Celestia was just about ready to bite into the long-elusive treat when Lofty spoke up, her mouth stuffed with several piles of mushed-up bread and plants. “Sho, vhat da yew vnaana do?”
The pegasus filly stopped chewing as her mother’s hoof prodded her. “Lofty, what have I told you about talking with your mouth full?”
The filly swallowed. “D-Don’t do it?”
“Exactly.”
Celestia rolled her eyes. She could remember having this exact same conversation with so many fillies in the past; not even Twilight was exempt. The first time the filly had come by to dinner, her manners had been so disgraceful that more than a few of her servants had begged that she never be allowed back in. But after a few lessons, some protocol training, and a long talk over tea, her most faithful student had proven to be…
“So anyway, what do you wanna do?”
Celestia snapped out of her reminiscence to Lofty’s voice. “Well…I hadn’t really planned anything. I’ve never even been to one of these as a customer before.”
Ruby’s eyes widened. “I-I’m shocked.”
“It was always one thing or another,” the princess sighed. “The closest thing I’ve ever had to something like this was the last time Canterlot hosted the Summer Sun Celebration, and even then I was busy as the show’s centerpiece. So this is my first real trip. What exactly should one do when they go to these things?”
Ruby tapped a hoof against her chin, contemplating a course of action that would not end with her being placed in the stocks and paraded around town. “Well, there’s always the rides. This carnival seems to have all the stock ones. I don’t think Lofty is old enough for the roller coaster. We’ve already been to the midway. Sapphire Shores has a concert tonight, but it’s past Lofty’s bedtime.”
“Awwwwww,” Lofty groaned.
“The rides sound awfully nice,” Celestia said between bites. “I mean, if it’s all right with you. I don’t want to impose…”
Ruby gave a motherly smile. “You’re not imposing. Lofty was really wanting to go on the Spinning Cups after lunch. I told her it would give her a stomach ache but she didn’t want to listen.”
“Nah, I’m way too tough to get sick,” Lofty said with a proud huff.
Celestia smirked at her friend’s attitude. “All right then. Let’s give it a try.”
----------
The milky whiteness surrounding the three gradually faded away, revealing a large room lined with countless bookshelves, globes, scrolls, books, reading tables, and for some reason, a bunch of bean stalks carefully arranged on every surface. Kuchen was still a mixture of pink pony bits and black ooze, while Pinkie was still a big pile of fluff given life by a deranged animator. Twilight…was still completely normal, much to her relief.
The unicorn waved a leg across the room. “Well, Kuchen, this is it. Welcome to Casa De Twilight Sparkle.”
Felt Pinkie let out a whistle, which amounted to releasing a tuff of cotton that soon plopped onto the floor before vanishing. “Whoooooa. I mean, I knew you were super-organized outside of your brain, but I didn’t know your head was all squeaky-clean, too! Man, I really need to get to cleanin’ out my noggin! At least, that’s what Granny Pie keeps telling me.”
Twilight raised a simulated eyebrow. “Granny Pie?”
“Residual memories from previous hosts,” Kuchen clarified. “Whenever I manage to gain control, a few of those memories intertwine with the host. If strong enough, they have the potential to fully realize themselves and reform as full personalities.”
“You mean…Pinkie has even more ponies living in her head?”
“About twenty-seven different ones, to be exact!” Pinkie finished. Twilight would have felt more than a little light headed at this if she wasn’t already technically inside her own head.
A smile etched across what remained of Kuchen’s face, in the place of an actual mouth. “This is far better than I had even imagined! All I have to do is incorporate the memories of your lessons with Celestia, and I shall be unstoppable! Now, where should I begin…?”
A dozen tentacles shot out from the pony’s body, their black slimy lengths slithering as they passed from one book to the next. Twilight shuddered at the thought of how much cleaning she would have to do once this was over; in fact, she was shaking so much she barely noticed then a flat hold folded over her shoulder. “Twilight, are you loco?” Pinkie asked. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Now he’s gonna take over you, too!”
“No, he’s not,” Twilight whispered.
Pinkie shifted an eyebrow slightly upwards. “Huh?”
“Ah, at last!”
The two turned their attention back to the thing made of fluff and smudge. One of the tentacles had returned to its master, carrying a large book. “Now, let’s see what secrets our master has given you!”
The book slid open, revealing a small, moving picture of Twilight and Princess Celestia, no doubt during their first actual lesson. Kuchen’s eyes widened as the memory imparted itself to him…
---
The room was massive, which was perfect for somepony as large as Princess Celestia. The filly glanced back and forth, as if afraid she was going to wind up in a dungeon if she did something wrong. She was so nervous that she didn’t even notice Princess Celestia’s hoofsteps until the alicorn was almost on top of her. Twilight slowly moved her gaze upwards, scanning the alicorn’s massive body before settling on her eyes. “G-Good morning, your Highness.”
The princess smiled. “Good morning, Twilight Sparkle. Are you ready for your first lesson?”
The filly nodded. “Very good. Then please take a seat and we’ll begin.”
Twilight turned her attention towards a small student’s desk at the center of the room, its surface already prepared with all the paper, pencils, and other assorted objects Twilight would need for today. The unicorn trotted over, plopped herself into the chair, and looked straight ahead at the waiting princess. “Now, the school you will be attending is one of the finest academies in Equestria, so great expectations will be in place before you even open your first textbook. I know you have been studying magic at home, but there are many other subjects you will have to at least be addressed in if you are to truly succeed in class. So that will be our goal for the next few weeks.”
Twilight’s hoof shot up. “Um…Princess? Why are you doing this? Couldn’t you just hire a tutor?”
Celestia chuckled. “I suppose I could, but I want to make sure you achieve all you possibly can. You are a very special pony, Twilight Sparkle, and it is an honor for me to be your teacher. I promise you, there are many things I can teach you that no tutor could possibly know. And besides, you wouldn’t really want to turn down a private lesson, would you?” Twilight quickly shook her head. “Now, a unicorn’s magic is controlled thanks to their…”
---
Kuchen angrily slammed the book. “What is this? I need information, not the worthless memories of a foal!”
Twilight took a few steps forward, stopping right next to Kuchen. “Oh well, I guess it’s nothing. You could probably destroy that book now. You certainly don’t need that memory.”
Kuchen’s tentacle lifted the memory back into the air, wrapping around it in an attempt to crush it forever. As time passed, however, the thing did nothing. It was not for several minutes that it spoke again. “I…think not. Perhaps this one will still be useful later. I shall just read another memory.”
The tentacle slowly slithered the book back into place, just as another pulled down another memory to glance through. Twilight grinned as Kuchen began experiencing her first science experiment. Exactly as planned…
----------
Celestia, Ruby and Lofty hopped into the circular carriage almost as soon as the gates had opened. Inside, a large bench had been bolted into place around every surface save the door itself, with a large safety bar hanging overhead. Ruby slid into her spot between the two, waited for Lofty and Celestia to take their own seats, and then pulled the bar down.
“So, what is this ride, exactly?” asked Celestia.
“Once it starts, the whole thing is going to start spinning,” Ruby explained. “It’ll change directions a few times, and after about a minute it stops and we’re done.”
A crack of static blurted out over an intercom back at the ride’s entrance. “Everypony please listen. Keep your legs and wings inside the ride at all times. No magic is permitted while the ride is in operation. For your safety, keep the safety bar secured on your lap at all times. And thank you for riding with us today.”
The stringy unicorn standing next to the ride’s platform lowered his horn towards a set of exposed gears. A quick burst of magic was all it took to set the wheels in motion, and soon the carriage was spinning along in a circle. Celestia was ready to shrug it off as another disappointment when the second burst hit, causing the vehicle they were in to spin independently of the rest of the track.
As the speed increased, Celestia could feel her body trying to slide to her right, then her left, and then her right again. The wind whipped and curled around her, buffeting her entire body with gusts and gales that would send shivers down a weaker pony’s spine. Lofty’s mouth was opened big enough to let out a gleeful scream, while Ruby was simply smirking and taking pleasure in her daughter’s fun. The informally-deposed princess was all ready to join in the excitement…
And then the whole carriage suddenly lurched to the left. Celestia’s head banged in the same direction; unfortunately, that was where one of the bolts for the safety bar was located…
----------
Celestia’s tiny hooves pressed the cold surface of the ice pack against her injured eye. Lofty and Ruby sat next to her on the bench, eyeing her with ever-growing concern. It had been nearly ten minutes, and the princess had thankfully stopped sobbing, but wasn’t moving in any other way.
“I-If it’s all right, may I take a look?” asked Ruby.
Realizing she wasn’t going to get anywhere else otherwise, Celestia nodded in approval. She slowly lowered her hoof, letting the pack drop down with it. Sure enough, there was now a massive black mark around her left eye. Both Ruby and Lofty gasped in horror at the sight.
“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Celestia moaned.
“W-Well, it’s not exactly good,” Ruby muttered. “I mean, does it still hurt?” Celestia nodded. “In that case, I guess we should speak with the manager. Nopony should have a ride that dangerous running when children can still be hurt.”
Celestia was about to agree, until that voice in the back of her head clicked. Complaining takes time and draws attention. Somepony might recognize me. Even worse, I’ll ruin Lofty’s whole day. She’ll hate me forever. She’ll tell everypony how horrible I am. Nopony will ever want to be friends with me again!
Celestia hopped up onto her hooves. Every single fiber of her being radiated unadulterated anxiety and terror. “No! I’m fine! We don’t need to file any complaints or make a fuss! It’s just a black eye. These things heal up. Kids get them all the time!”
“B-But I don’t think we should let this slide. What if somepony else gets hurt?”
Lofty jumped from Ruby’s side and landed next to the princess, her hooves barely staying on the bench. “But what if this takes all day? Can’t we have some more fun before we call anypony else?”
Ruby sighed. She was obviously not going to win this one. “All right. But I promise you, we ARE telling somepony before we leave. Now, let’s find something a bit…slower, shall we?”
----------
The pair of pegasus guards gradually pushed the clouds into position, taking great care not to be seen by the throngs below. Once they were certain the coast was clear, they flashed a wave towards another nearby patch of clouds. A small puff of black energy spread from the fluffy whiteness, slithered its way across the blue sky, and reformed into Princess Luna once it was safely over the newly-formed platform.
Luna smiled as she peered over the edge. From here, she could see almost every inch of the fairgrounds. She barely even registered when the guards landed next to her. “Are all the other positions secured?”
“All sentries in Canterlot are in position,” said one of the guards. “Every square inch of the city is under constant surveillance.”
“Do you really think the princess would come here?” asked another. “It doesn’t seem like the safest place for a filly by herself.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “Unfortunately, my sister is far from herself these days. She wouldn’t even think about the possibilities until they actually happened to her.”
----------
Celestia yawned as a haunted house’s little cart rolled down the track.
Around her were some of the most terrified fillies and colts in Equestria; even Lofty was clinging to the princess for dear life. And yet, she couldn’t help but notice how absurdly poor the ride’s actual construction was. It hadn’t tried to poke her eye out yet, but the broken puppets, half-painted wax figures, and rather stock scares were not enough to chill a pony that had literally faced the embodiment of chaos and destruction in mortal combat.
An obscenely large coffin opened, allowing an automated marionette of a vampony to rise up, snarl, and then fall right back down. They can’t ever get the teeth right on these things?
A sliding panel popped open, revealing a pony skeleton with a bloodied axe embedded in its skull. Why would the blood still be on there after the pony’s a skeleton?
And finally, right at the ride’s exit, stood the most terrifying beast imaginable. It was something like a monkey or an ape, standing about six feet in height, with five round, pointy tips on each claw. The other children screamed and hugged each other, for this was the terrifying visage of the most evil creature to ever grace Equestrian Mythology: THE HUMAN.
It took every last ounce of Celestia’s willpower to resist facehoofing herself at that moment. Really? You’re going to end your ride with something like this? Humans weren’t that bad. Quite a few of them were actually nice, even if the whole race was rather short-sighted. Then again, my ponies also tend to panic if you so much as throw a piece of lint in their direction, so…
“Um, excuse me little filly, but the ride’s over.”
Celestia snapped back to reality, only to find herself still sitting in the cart. Lofty and Ruby were waving by the ride’s exit, just beckoning her to come and join them. Sighing, the princess pulled herself from the ride, hopped onto the platform, and trotted along to join her party.
She never even noticed the pony watching over her…
----------
Luna’s eyes burned as she watched the scene below her unfold. A pink pony matching her disguised sister’s description had just wandered off towards her own personal attendant and her daughter. The three then departed for an ice cream booth, no doubt to cool off from the sun’s merciless rays.
I…I cannot believe that filly! First she runs away from the palace, and now she’s using one of my own servants as protection? Oh, she will pay dearly for this…
“What’s the plan?” asked one of the guards.
Luna pointed a hoof towards Ruby Dream. “Tell one of our non-flying guards to approach Miss Dream. That should send Celestia running. Once she’s on the move, the rest of the guards will block every exit except those leading to the castle. Do NOT apprehend her right now. We cannot make too much of a scene.”
The two pegasi saluted the princess before taking to the skies…
----------
The bench had once been a clean, pure sign of Canterlot’s wonder. Its wooden beams still bore traces of the varnish and polish that had been poured on during construction to give it the appearance of wealth and taste. Now, it bore the white stains of ice cream, dripping from a clumsy alicorn foal’s cone as she desperately tried to hold the thing with hooves.
Lofty was having a lot more success, born from years of actual use. Ruby was doing even better, wrapping the thing around her fetlock like a pony that had done it a million times. Celestia couldn’t help but feel even more self-conscious next to these two.
“So, are you having fun?” Ruby asked.
Celestia and Lofty both vigorously banged their heads in response. “This is the best day ever, mom!”
“I thank you for allowing me to join you,” Celestia added. She took another bite, the small bits of melted cream splashing down her dress. “It has certainly made things much more enjoyable.”
Ruby smiled. “And what if Princess Luna had joined? Wouldn’t that have been even better?”
Celestia froze in mid-bite. She could definitely feel something far more menacing behind those words. “Well, I suppose. But she does have a tendency to spoil things.”
“Yeah, she’s kind of scary,” said Lofty. “But hey, at least we have each other here today!”
“Uh…huh.” Ruby’s eyes locked onto the ever-growingly anxious princess. “Lofty, would you mind taking our trash to the bin?”
“Sure thing, mom!” Lofty jumped to her hooves, grabbed as much of the small pieces of paper the cones had been wrapped in as she could in her mouth, and started walking towards the trash bin across the way.
Ruby watched and waited until she was out of earshot before speaking. “Princess, why did you run away?”
The abruptness of the question caused Celestia to choke a bit on the piece of waffle cone she was swallowing. She didn’t even look back up at the pegasus before answering. “I…I…I didn’t run away.”
“Yes you did,” Ruby sighed. “It was obvious from the moment you first appeared. Your body language, your stammering, and what I know about Princess Luna’s behavior these last few days all suggested it. She said you couldn’t come, so you dressed yourself in a disguise and snuck out of the castle.” The mare winked at the filly. “Besides, I can tell when a child is lying. It’s a mom thing.
Celestia’s frown said it all. “Then why did you let me join you?”
Ruby shrugged. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. This is no place for a filly to run around unsupervised. You of all ponies should know that. But shouldn’t you be thinking about heading home? I’m sure your sister is worried sick.”
“I doubt it,” Celestia scoffed. “She’s probably too busy working to care anymore. And besides…”
The two stopped talking as a pair of stallions walked by. “Did you read what they said about Princess Celestia?”
“Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? I always figured she cared more about parties and social standing than governing everything.”
“No wonder things are so horrible in Equestria right now. I mean, have you seen the price of bread lately? I had to pay two more bits a loaf than a month ago! Now Princess Luna, she knows how to…”
The voices trailed off as the stallions disappeared into the crowds. Celestia slouched on her backside, silently wishing she could meld with the bench and disappear entirely. Ruby watched her former ruler’s defeated expression with no small measure of sympathy. “I know. I read what they said in the Times, and believe me, they will have quite the rebuttal.”
“No point in doing that when it’s all true,” Celestia moaned.
“What’s true?”
The two ponies turned to the utterly confused Lofty, now back from her lovely trip to the gunk-filled trashcan. Ruby and Celestia hopped back to more natural poses, hoping to fool the filly into thinking that nothing was wrong. Fortunately, she didn’t have quite the world experience needed to see all the way through the deception. “Seriously, what’s true?”
“Um…that…this carnival is a wonderful thing,” Celestia stammered. “I’m having so much fun today!”
“Yes, that is exactly what we were talking about,” Ruby said. “There was nothing else going on. Everything is perfectly fine.”
“Excuse me, miss, but can I ask you some questions?”
The three spun around to match the gruff-sounding voice coming from behind. Sure enough, it was one of the castle’s unicorn guards. His emotionless face was the perfect counterpart for the dread growing within Ruby. “Beg your pardon, but a royal guest has gone missing. We were wondering if you had seen her anywhere. She’s a filly unicorn, about the same age as your daughter?”
“R-Really?” Ruby stammered. “Well, I have seen somepony like that. Sunlight, can you help this…”
It was right about then that the pegasus noticed Princess Celestia was gone.
----------
Once they were certain an army of guards wouldn’t assault them on sight, Blueblood’s spies tiphoofed into Princess Luna’s bedroom. Sure enough, the room was just as unguarded on the inside as the outside, and what would have been a frightening oversight in any other circumstance was certainly advantageous for the two PIs.
The green pony smiled as she noticed the opened chest, filled to the brim with children’s clothes. “Well, I guess that’s proof right there.”
The brown colt scratched the back of his mane. “I don’t think that’s enough. All we have is some clothing we found in a princess’ room. It could be anything.”
The mare sighed. “Then get to looking. We need to find something to appease Blueblood.”
As if obeying a starter whistle, the two set out to work. The colt rummaged through Luna’s dresser, blushing slightly as he ran into the princess’ frilly saddle collection but finding nothing inside. The mare searched under the bed, but only confirmed that the castle’s cleaning staff was some of the very best in Equestria. There was nothing behind the mirror, nor was there anything on the princess’ bookshelf. The window was unlocked, but there was no sign that anypony had been using it to enter or leave.
And then the mare started digging into the chest. A few of the choices in outfits were a tad distasteful, and considering Princess Celestia’s previous actions with her sister, the science fiction-y spacesuit was a rather disturbing choice. Nevertheless, there was nothing particularly incriminating inside.
And then her hoof struck something at the very bottom. Plunging both forelegs into the chest, she slowly pulled out an old camera. And attached to it was a single photo: a white alicorn with a rainbow mane, dressed in a princess costume and looking all the more embarrassed by it.
The stallion peered over his associate’s shoulder, eyeing the picture with shock. “Th-That looks like…”
The green mare quickly stashed the photo away. “Let’s clean up and get out of here. I think we have what we need.”
----------
Celestia bolted from the fairground entrance to the very streets of Canterlot. Around her, the guard patrols only seemed to intensify in number, as more and more armored pegasi centered in on the princess’ most likely location. Fortunately for her, they seemed not to notice the filly underneath all her disguises, and made no actual effort to stop her.
Lifting the manhole was a bit more of a challenge, but after a few tugs the stubborn metal lid finally came loose. Taking one last, deep breath, Celestia leaped down into the sewer, climbing back only enough to replace the top.
----------
Kuchen tossed the latest memory book aside as a deep roar bellowed from deep within. He had been inside Twilight’s mind for who-knows-how-long, and had searched every inch of her mental library for the power he was promised, and yet every memory that seemed of importance was nothing but the same thing. Twilight and Celestia would be performing some activity, during which they would accomplish some mundane task, laugh it up, and then move on to the next. None of the other books echoed with any of the power these before him held, and yet not a single spell they mentioned would accomplish what he had spent so many lifetimes trying to accomplish.
And yet, his hostage’s mental avatar was still there, hanging around with that felt mockery of a descendant of his. The uncontrollable rage building within his shadowy form was too much to bear. “Now listen here, you wench!”
Twilight and Pinkie turned their attention away from Twilight’s memory of her first bicycle (and coincidentally, the reason why she knows how much getting your horn healed hurts) and back towards the shambling corpse. “Well? Had fun picking my brain? I’m sure you found so many things to meditate on.”
Kuchen’s black-and-pink hooves stomped across the imaginary floor. Each step pulsed and vibrated like a small earthquake, threatening to shake the library down to its very core. The black tendrils waved back and forth, just waiting for the chance to strike at somepony. “I have had enough of your stalling tactics, unicorn! You promised me a magic strong enough to rival even Celestia’s, and yet all I can find are pointless visions of you as a filly! Your body is mine now, as we agreed, and you will show me this power NOW!”
Felt Pinkie slid through the side of the chair and popped right back together. The little spot of black fuzz that represented her one visible eyeball locked with Kuchen’s as she spoke. “That is no way for you to speak to my friend! You need to learn some manners, mister!”
“It’s all right, Pinkie,” Twilight said nonchalantly. “I know just what he’s looking for. And if he’s sure he wants it, he can take it.”
Felt Pinkie’s face widened to the point it threatened to fall off the rest of her head. “Twilight, what are you doing? Are you trying to help the bad guy?”
Any further protests died out as Kuchen slammed the pink pony aside. Pinkie slid across the floor a good ten feet before crashing into the shelf holding Twilight’s baby memories. “Yes, I want that knowledge NOW! Tell me, what is this magic?!”
Twilight’s horn lit up, emitting a purple glow that matched with a scroll atop one of the book shelves. The rolled paper slowly floated towards one of the empty tables, unfurling even as it descended. If Kuchen still had lips, they would had been salivating at the potential awaiting him. Now, at last, he would have his revenge.
The stallion peered over the scroll, anticipating yet another vision like those before. And yet, there was no such sensation. Instead, he could only look upon a still picture of six ponies, two of them Twilight and Pinkie, standing in formation against some sort of dragon-like monstrosity. And below that, another picture of the six standing against a black alicorn not wholly different from Celestia or Luna. Kuchen’s paw pocked and scrapped against the scroll, desperate to activate whatever secret switch or spell would propel him inside and grant him the knowledge he desired. And yet, there was nothing.
“Another lie!” he screamed. “You waste my time yet again!”
Twilight smirked. “Really? But I thought you would know about all these events through Pinkie. This is the power I promised you. It doesn’t come from years of study or even just being born lucky. Where it really comes from…” Twilight touched a hoof to her chest. “…is the heart.”
Kuchen’s response was immediate. A tentacle shot around Twilight’s neck, wrapping itself tightly before pulling her upwards. Pinkie tried to jump to her friend’s rescue, but tripped on a discarded book and fell face-first into the memory of Twilight’s first birthday party. The stallion’s every movement was accompanied by what sounded like muffled curses. “You…You made a joke of me! The power comes from the heart? Only a foal would believe in such nonsense!”
“But it does!” Twilight gasped. The unicorn desperately attempted to pry her forehooves into the tentacle mass, but none of her struggling amounted to anything. “It took me a long time to realize it, too. It wasn’t until Celestia sent me to Ponyville that I learned how much power friendship really has.”
The tentacle’s grip tightened. “Do not attempt to lecture me, girl! I have suffered indignities far worse than you can even conceive for five hundred years! Do you really think a little friendship would solve that?”
“F-Friendship defeated Nightmare Moon and Discord,” Twilight coughed. “B-But the Elements are not the only power it has. Together, my friends a-and I are capable of doing anything! And w-we w-w-w-will gladly do wh-whatever it t-a-a-a-a-kes to help each other!”
The tendril drew ever tighter. Twilight could feel the end rapidly approaching. “Tell me, how does it feel to have the life strangled from you? To know that your death soon comes and that you can do nothing to avoid it? Your beloved princess did this to me. It is only fitting that her tool of a student suffer the same fate!”
Twilight coughed and gasped one last taunt. “CELESTIA! IS! NOT! A! FRAUD!”
The tendril suddenly seemed to harden, as a pulse of power surged from Twilight’s captured form, slid down the tentacle’s length, and slammed into Kuchen’s body. The force of the blast sent Kuchen flying, crashing into another bookcase. His extra appendage crumbled into dust as he did so, sending Twilight plummeting to the ground herself. Her neck was still sore from the certain death she had faced only moments before, but the unicorn was otherwise uninjured.
The shambling abomination slowly stood yet again. His entire body shook like a big bowl of grape jelly, and not all of his actual body parts were in exactly the same place. The tentacles that he had used so often to torture the two now hung limply against the ground; a few of them were even smoking like burnt rubber. “Wh-What is this? How is this possible?”
“Did you really think I was just going to turn on Princess Celestia like that?” said Twilight. “Oh please, I thought you would have known better than that. I’ve been her student for almost my entire life. She’s shown me wonders that I could have never dreamed about otherwise. Why, if it weren’t for her, I would have never gone to Ponyville and met my friends. And you thought I was just going to let you try to kill her because of some sob story about how she never loved you?”
What followed was the most primal scream Twilight and Pinkie had ever heard. With a hissing shriek, Kuchen’s extra limbs came to life yet again. The black tendrils shot out in every direction at once, attaching themselves to the walls of the mental library as if to pull the whole thing down. “Insolent child! I am Kuchen, student of Princess Celestia and a victim of her cruelty! I do not need your approval! I can take control of everything without you!”
“And yet you didn’t.”
Kuchen’s one good eye widened. “What?”
“That’s why I told you about the magic of friendship,” Twilight lectured. Even Pinkie, now back off the floor, was eagerly hopping along to stand with her friend on this. “I figured a pony as inquisitive as you couldn’t help but look for something once you learned it existed. So I let you in, had you comb through my head for all my old memories of Celestia, and forced you to see what you would be giving up if you just wiped me clean. You would have lost your one chance to have what you truly wanted this whole time: Celestia’s approval.”
Kuchen’s body trembled. “I…I hate that liar with all my being!”
“And that’s why you’re still here. You couldn’t stop hating her. But think about before that. She took you away from a dismal life as a baker and made you her personal student. You showed her your cutie mark like it was a badge of honor. And even on the night she killed you, you were trying to prove that you were right. You could have planned some sort of ambush; I mean, you had to know she would come after you mailed her your best friend’s pelt. And yet, you tried to convince her that your research was sound, and that it was all going to be used to improve the lives of ponies everywhere.”
“I can erase everything! I…I can make this shell my own!”
“But you won’t. And do you know why? Because you have everything you want right here. The praise, the respect, AND the love of Princess Celestia. Take all that away, and all you have is your own broken self. That’s why you couldn’t destroy those memories. That’s why you kept homing in on the more heartfelt moments of my relationship with Princess Celestia. And that was the real reason why you didn’t just destroy this place the moment you entered. Because you wanted this.”
Kuchen moved to say something, but what had been his jaw splattered against the floor. The tendrils melted into small puddles of ooze before evaporating completely. The horror looked about his decaying form in sheer terror.
“And now that you have it, you can’t give it up. But if you can’t cling to your hatred, then you have nothing to keep on living for. Face it, Kuchen, you were doomed the minute you came in here!”
The monster scooped up the lower half of his mouth and jammed it back in place as best he could. His voice was fading almost as quickly as his body. “PlEase…HElP mEEeeeeEee….”
Twilight nodded. “First, give me the cure. And you’d better not be lying about it, either. Trust me, I know where you live.”
The blob said nothing; or rather, it was incapable of saying anything other than gurgling empty threats. It didn’t take long to get its answer, however. A flash of light exploded in front of Twilight, lingered for a few seconds, and then vanished, leaving behind a scroll. The inquisitive unicorn immediately unfurled the thing, and sure enough, it contained every last bit of information she needed.
Twilight blushed. “Wow. We were way off.”
“Blueartgghge.”
Twilight and Pinkie turned back to the thing that was Kuchen. His body was almost completely gone by this point, leaving behind a rather sickening odor. Only his top half remained to beg for help. The unicorn and the felt pony both took a few steps forward. “Kuchen, I can’t let you live,” Twilight said. “You’ve done too much to my princess, my friend, and me. You’ve been gone for five hundred years, and it’s best if you…”
“Are you sorry?”
Twilight and Kuchen both turned to the felt pony, the latter seemingly ceasing in his vanishing from existence. “What are you talking about, Pinkie?”
“Well, if he’s really sorry, we can’t just let him die, can we?”
“YES! YES WE CAN!”
Pinkie was stunned by the words jumping out of Twilight’s mouth. Even the unicorn was feeling more than a little embarrassed at the moment. Kuchen was still sitting there, the melting process seemingly slowed to a crawl. “Twilight Sparkle, I am ashamed of you! After all you said, you’re still willing to let him die? He’s a part of the Pie Clan, and I can’t just let a member of the family walk away all sad because they did something wrong.”
“B-But he was a monster,” Twilight said. “Princess Celestia herself said he killed who-knows-how-many ponies!”
“Yes, he was a monster,” Pinkie said. She turned back to the dying spirit. “But that was because you only knew half of what was going on. It must have been hard, going through life with no friends, a mentor that was so cold to you, and no real idea what you were working for. He’s had to suffer for five hundred years; I think that’s a long enough sentence, don’t you?”
Twilight said nothing. She didn’t quite know what to say to that. Kuchen, meanwhile, could feel something stirring within him as Pinkie extended a felt hoof. “Come on, we’ve been enemies my whole life. Don’t you think it’s time we gave friendship a chance?”
Kuchen was motionless. He had no clue how to respond to this. Friendship was the farthest thing from his mind all these centuries; all he had cared about what revenge on Celestia. But Twilight Sparkle had been right. He had experienced something wonderful when he had moved through her memories, and as much as he wanted to fight it, he truly did want to keep hold of that feeling…
His half-melted hoof grasped onto Pinkie’s. “Frheaihfnds.”
What remained of Kuchen’s body became swathed in a rainbow of lights. The spectrums danced along the insides of Twilight’s mind, causing her avatar to smile and laugh unwillingly. The stallion’s body seemed to reform fully, as the light returned what limbs he had lost and burnt away the black tar that had once been his form. After a few moments, the rainbow vanished, leaving a pink unicorn made out of the same felt as Pinkie.
Kuchen stared at his new body, utterly perplexed by what had just occurred. “What is this? I…I feel wonderful!”
Pinkie laughed. “Of course you do, silly! You’re a part of Pinkie Pie’s world now! No more hanging out in the dark. No more trying to take control of me when I’m upset. No more having to be sad and lonely. From now on, it’s just you and me and all the others hanging out! Now, are you ready to par-tay?”
Kuchen’s fabric face gave the first smile he had given in five hundred years. “After all this time? I think I can handle some cake?”
Pinkie turned to the still-stunned Twilight. “Well, you heard the guy. Let’s zap everypony back to where they belong!”
“Um…sure.” Twilight’s horn lit up, and the two ponies vanished into the ether. Once they were gone, an energy field enveloped the unicorn. She could feel herself being pulled free…
----------
Twilight flew back a good five feet as she woke up. The sudden jolt made her more than a little dizzy, and her legs were tingling from being seated for so long, but otherwise she seemed perfectly fine. Pinkie was already back on her hooves, bobbing her head to the music inside her skull. Apparently she and Kuchen were having quite the party.
The unicorn moved to say something, but stopped as she remembered her original goal. Floating over a quill and parchment, she set to work copying down the spell Kuchen had given her…
----------
Once she was certain the coast was clear, Celestia leaped from her potted hiding place, tip-hoofing her way back to the bedroom doors. Fortunately, the guards that would normally be fixed at both sides were gone, no doubt helping in the search for the missing princess. So far so good. All I have to do is go inside and act like I was just going to the little filly’s room. Luna will be none the wiser.
So confident in her victory was she that she darted through the doors without looking, not even bothering to close them behind her. She was just getting ready to toss the doll under her bed when she heard something slam behind her.
Her door.
Celestia slowly turned around, sweating like a criminal caught in the act. Standing on the other side, behind where the doors would have opened, was a rather perturbed Princess Luna. The filly alicorn managed to catch her just as her horn – and the doors – stopped glowing. Celestia could feel raw terror course its way through her veins as her sister stared her down. “Oh…hello, dear sister. H-How is your day?”
Luna said nothing, instead opting to scan her sister’s current figure. Her gaze intensified as she caught glimpse of the filly’s black eye.
“Well, I’m sure you are wondering why I’m dressed like this?” the filly continued. With a yank, she flung the dress from her body. Her wings, now freed from the garment’s obstructive nature, flung open on pure instinct. “You see, I figured that, since I can’t go around in public, I’d just give a new look a chance. I mean, this is the perfect opportunity, what with nopony looking at me all day or anything. Am I right?”
Luna’s eyes narrowed even more, making the filly fidget under the ever-increasing intensity of the stare. “Celestia, did you really expect me to believe such a transparent sack of lies as this?!”
The filly backed up a few steps. She could feel an appointment with the business end of the Royal Canterlot Voice coming. “B-But I…”
“Have you any idea how worried I was?!” Luna bellowed. “I pulled every guard from active duty just to find where my little sister was!”
“I-I’m sorry,” Celestia whined. A few tears were beginning to collect in her eyes.
Even in this sorry state, however, Luna refused to back down. Her entire body pulsed with a fury she had not felt for over a thousand years. “I have tried to be lenient in your behavior. I allowed Twilight Sparkle to convince me that letting you enjoy yourself would lead to no harm. I was even willing to take you to that accursed carnival MYSELF!”
Celestia could feel her knees preparing to give out. “Y-You mean…”
“How do you think I discovered your disappearance, you clumsy child? Do you have any idea what could have happened out there? You could have been killed, or stolen, or gotten lost on the streets of Canterlot, and all because you refused to keep a serious mind in this! You have acted impulsively and dangerously, and I cannot allow this to continue!”
A cold shiver ran up the length of Celestia’s spine. “What are…What are you going to do?”
“PRINCESS CELESTIA OF EQUESTRIA! AS OF THIS MOMENT, YOU. ARE. GROUNDED!”
The entirety of Celestia’s room shook and buckled underneath the unparalleled intensity of Luna’s voice. Books tumbled down from the shelves, pictures came crashing down, and even the bed the princess had backed herself up against felt like it was mere moments away from collapsing completely. Against such an assault, the now-powerless Celestia had no recourse but to cower. “W-What?”
Her message having been delivered, Luna could feel her voice calming down, if only just. “First, we are going to remove all those horrid colors. Second, you are going to spend every minute of every day in this room until a cure can be found. You will have no dessert with dinner, you shall be under a full escort when using the bathroom, and you shall NOT, I repeat, shall NOT, presume to order anypony else to aid in your escape again! Now, am I understood?”
Celestia’s head hung weakly as her sister’s declaration took hold. A part of her wanted to just accept the punishment her brutish monster of a sister had just dealt out, no matter how humiliating it may have been. Still another wanted to debate the matter in a reasonable manner; after all, she was still (technically) an adult, and Luna was a fairly logical pony when she wasn’t in the middle of one of her moods. But then…
“No.”
She listened to the third part. The part that dared her to challenge her sister’s undeserved authority.
The filly lifted her face back towards her sister, a sneer of defiance plastered across her lip. “I am not going to spend the rest of my time like this locked up just so you can feel safe!”
Luna had not quite been expecting something like this. She drew back only a moment before fixing her gaze back upon the small foal before her. “Y-You have no right to speak to me that way! There is no defending what you have just done! Do you have any idea what might have happened?”
“What, somepony would have found out who I was?” Celestia snapped. “Oh yeah, I can see how upsetting that would be for YOU. After all that work you put into making me look like the biggest flank in all of Equestria, it certainly wouldn’t do you any good if everypony found out you had turned your sister into a filly so you can fake a government takeover! Oh wait, you weren’t faking a takeover, because that’s what you just did!”
“I did no such thing!” Luna shouted back. “I was merely acting responsible. That’s apparently too much to ask of you these days!”
“Oh, let’s talk about responsibility.” Celestia’s sneer darkened and twisted into something fierce enough to burn the bark off a tree. “If you are to be believed, I was nothing more than an overgrown foal running Equestria into the ground for a thousand years. But in all your research, did it not occur to you that if I was as truly dreadful as you claim, this entire country would have collapsed under its own weight within half a century?! But no, I stuck with it. I worked myself to lengths that would kill any normal pony every day, all so I could see my little ponies happy and thriving. Because of my work, our ponies can be safe in the knowledge that their destiny won’t end with them on an Ursa’s dinner table, or under the hoof of an egotistical tyrant! My entire life has been spent building Equestria from nothing, and what do you do? You go out of your way to make me look like I don’t care!”
Luna’s nerves tightened in response to Celestia’s ranting. “And you believe I don’t? In case you’ve forgotten, I was right there next to you the whole time! Who was it that balanced the royal accounts because her older sister was too stubborn to learn economics? Who was it that commanded the military because her sister was too soft-hearted to even think that a pony might die to defend her and her subjects? And who was it that, after giving everything she had to make Equestria prosperous, was shunned by everypony else while her sister was praised, all because of what time of day fate decided to entrust them with?”
“Oh, there’s a new one! What’s wrong, Luna? You can’t get enough pity so you make yourself some?!”
Luna gasped. “Wh-What?!”
“Do you have any idea how annoying it was all these millennia, listening to you whine and moan about every single little thing that goes wrong in your life? Your ‘woe is me’ stuff is getting old, and I’ve had it up to HERE with your moping!”
“And do you have any idea how terrible it is to have an older sister that refuses to give the effort it needs to actually succeed in her job? I’ve watched everypony praise the ground you walk upon and think you are the most perfect pony to have ever lived. But these last few weeks, I have seen you as you truly are. You are an immature, overgrown bully, and your only idea of ‘relaxing’ is to find pleasure in tormenting everypony around you, EVEN THE SISTER THAT YOU HAD BANISHED!”
“You’re right, I did banish you. It tore me up inside watching you drift across Equestria every night for a thousand years. But right now, I’m wishing I never put those stars in place to bring you back! Maybe I should have left you to rot. It would have said me all this trouble!”
Luna’s body began to seethe a dark aura. Her wings spread themselves, not out of elation or surprise, but rather from the uncontrollable rage boiling up inside her. Celestia followed suit, albeit without any of her own energy seething out. “I…I…I have had enough of your foalish behavior! It’s time you grew up, sister!”
“And whose fault is that, sister?” Celestia sneered.
“Do you really think I would have done this if you hadn’t forced my hoof?!”
“And I meant you no harm! But next time…”
“There shall not BE a next time! And I shall be damned before I let a childish oaf like you back on the throne!”
“Oh yeah? Well, I don’t even want the throne anymore! You can have Equestria AND all those ungrateful ponies for all I care!”
“False princess!”
“Jerk!”
“Troll!”
“Crybaby!”
“You are an incompetent pony with delusions of grandeur, trying to force others to see you as perfect while doing nothing to correct your own flaws!”
“Oh yeah? OH YEAH? Well…Well…”
Celestia clasped her eyes tightly shut. Every nerve in her body began to twist and writhe from the agony being exuded from her unquenchable anger. No longer conscious of what was really going on, she reached for the deepest, most horrible thing she could throw at her sister.
“Well…You’re just....just…NIGHTMARE MOON!”
Anything else Celestia might have said died in her throat as a blur snapped across her face. Before either pony could truly realize what had occurred, Princess Luna’s right foreleg was hanging to her left side, while a large red welt had formed across Celestia’s left cheek. Through slanted, burning eyes, Luna watched as her sister touched the wound with her own hoof, as if to confirm what had just transpired. “How dare you use that profane title! Nightmare Moon was a monster! Do you truly believe me to be anything like that…that…”
It was right at that moment that Luna saw the first flickers of emotion in Celestia’s eyes. Her pupils were small and dilated, their focus never fixing upon anything in particular. Her lower lip was quivering as what little power her real self held began to drown under the raw torrent of new emotions rushing through her entire body. Her little hoof never left that mark, as if afraid it would start squirting blood if she didn’t keep pressure on it at all times.
The circumstances may have been different, but it was something Luna had seen far too many times.
Fear.
Luna’s breaths became slower and colder as she realized the full scope of what she had just done. Her raised hoof gradually lowered to the ground, moving so slow as to make no noise when it made contact. Celestia’s breathing, on the other hoof, became more labored the longer the scene around her continued. “C-Celestia, I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to…”
“S-STAY AWAY!” Celestia screamed.
Luna froze. She had never heard such a fearful tone in her sister’s voice before. “I…I…I need to heal your injury. Please just stay still, and…”
Celestia hopped back a few steps; an admirable feat, considering she only had three legs available. “NO! You’re just gonna hurt me more!”
“I…I’m sorry,” Luna muttered. “I just got so angry that…”
The filly couldn’t hold it in anymore. Hot, steaming anger burned through her as she cracked completely, sobbing like a wounded puppy. Every inch of her body screamed pain. “Y-You’re the…the worst sister I’ve ever met! I-I HATE YOU!”
Before Luna could say anything else, Celestia bolted past her and banged on the doors. The guards, having returned to their posts once the princess had been contained, opened the entrance just in time for the white alicorn to charge down the hall and vanish. Her cries echoed through the palace, seemingly aimed straight at Luna’s heart.
The confused guards slowly approached the shell-shocked princess. “Your Majesty, is something wrong?”
Luna said nothing. She simply fell back on her haunches and looked at the offending hoof. In this moment of clarity, she could see everything that had happened: how she had transformed her sister against her will; how she had tried to lock her away rather than give her what she really needed; and how, in just a moment, she had destroyed whatever had remained of their relationship. There was no way either could make up for what had been said. Not once in their long lives had either one unloaded on the other like that.
She was right. I really am Nightmare Moon.
TO BE CONTINUED
Chapter 13 Chapter 15 (Alternate Version)
Anonymous:
FINISH HIM. FRIENDSHIP!
Anonymous:
That phrase... it always ends horribly...
Anonymous:
For a minute I thought Princess Cadence was being introduced. Damn.
Anonymous:
Without reading this, I thought, "between the classes in the corridors."
Anonymous:
WAT?!?
endee.taylor:
Saaaay... whaaaaaat?
no no man you're making me fall asleep, to death, bro!
Anonymous:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
KILL ME NOW
Cody Douglas:
IS EQUESTRIA THE FUTURE!?!?!
Anonymous:
Mind = Blown.
Robert Barba:
Pastel.
Anonymous:
The author's described her mane as rainbow throughout multiple chapters. It's not the same sort of "rainbow" as Rainbow Dash's, but it's still somewhat accurate.
Anonymous:
*saved
eric ledieu:
indeed
Anonymous:
lol wut?
Cody Douglas:
Trollestia!!!
kimgirl7777:
dun dun dun!!!
Spencer Perruzzi:
damn straight you are
Fiona Gallag:
Well, not really. Nightmare Moon would have laughed at Celestia's insults.
Frank Bitzer:
Keep up the good work. I´m almost dying to read the end of the story.
Aaron Baker:
To the tune of Giggle at the Ghostly?
Anonymous:
oh come on! I'm a far more appalling creature and you don't see ponies running from me... except at that petting zoo when i was nine.
Fiona Gallag:
I am crying right now.
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Fifteen
“And we just reverse the polarity here….add a dash of extra sparkle there…and…DONE!”
Twilight’s quill made its final stroke just as Pinkie stopped humming a conga tune and woke back to reality. That is, reality according to Pinkie Pie. “Whoa, was that cool! Can we do it again?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Let’s not. I’ve already almost had my entire consciousness swallowed by an ethereal monstrosity today, and I’d rather not toy with spells like that anymore. Just knowing I used the same magic as Kuchen…” She shuddered at the thought. “It just creeps me out.”
Pinkie’s face fell. “Oh.” And then lit back up. “Okay!” She trotted up to her friend, still all smiles and eager to help. “So, how’s the cure coming?”
Twilight’s face stayed firmly in her “serious business” mode as she reviewed the finished counterspell. The arcane words scrawled upon the parchment certainly seemed impressive enough to work. “Everything in it seems to flow naturally. The information Kuchen gave me helped fill in a few of the steps between the ones we already had, which should make it possible to remove all the spells in just the right order that we don’t set off any more traps. We should be able to get this done without turning into fillies again.”
Pinkie just bobbed her head along. “Uh huh.”
Twilight sighed. “You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”
“NNNNope!” Pinkie said in her usual giddy manner..
Twilight telekinetically rolled up the scroll, stuffed it into a nearby saddlebag, and hoisted the apparatus onto her back. “In any case, we have to get this spell to Princess Luna before things get worse. With Princess Celestia’s mind being what it is now, I’d hate to think what would happen if we keep this going any longer.”
The unicorn had only taken a few steps when Pinkie called out from behind. “Um…Twilight? About Kuchen…”
Oh boy, here we go. “Can we please not talk about him?” Twilight sighed. “I wasn’t comfortable with him when he was just riding around in your brain, and I’m still not sure where I stand with it.”
“Oh, it’s not about that,” Pinkie said. “It’s just…well…did you really want to, you know…kill him?”
Twilight slowly spun around, groaning at her friend’s question. Her eyes took on a far more menacing appearance, much like when she had stared down Discord during their final battle. “Do you really have to ask that? It’s his fault we’re in this situation to begin with. He made the spell that turned Celestia into a filly. He murdered Celestia-knows-how-many ponies. And if what I’m gathering is right, he’s made your life a nightmare too. How could you possibly forgive a pony like that?”
Pinkie’s eyes widened. She had never seen such intensity from Twilight before, and especially not aimed in her direction. The whole situation made her feel more than a little flummoxed. “B-But he looked so sad.”
“And he SHOULD feel that way!” Twilight snapped. “He was nothing but a horrible monster, and I will never, EVER forgive him for what he put you and Celestia through!”
Pinkie’s ears dropped as her body sagged. The sight of her friend falling apart took Twilight aback. “I…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. It’s just…I don’t think I can ever completely forgive anypony who would do something like that. One of the first things Princess Celestia ever taught me was to never use my magic to hurt anypony. How can I possibly think that somepony like Kuchen would be apologetic for that? And do you know what the best part is?”
Pinkie’s entire body squashed into itself, as if trying to morph the pony into a little pink ball. Given Pinkie’s prior track record, that was certainly in the realm of possibility. “I…I…”
Twilight leaned as close as she could. Pinkie could feel her breath through her nostrils as she spoke. “I’m glad you were there to stop me.”
Pinkie raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Huh?”
“While you were still in your dream land, I started thinking over all the things that occurred back there.” Twilight took a seat on her haunches, looking more than a little ashamed at what she had almost done. “All I knew about Kuchen was what you and Celestia had told me. I knew he was sadistic, cruel, and more than a little insane, but I figured that if I wore down his will to exist, you’d all be free. The thought of trying to redeem a pony like that never crossed my mind, and putting him back in your brain afterwards was out of the question. But when I actually considered what I almost did, it felt…wrong.”
Twilight nervously kicked her forehooves against the floor. “I love Celestia. She’s like a second mother to me. And I used that same emotion to try and torture a pony to death. I’m still not sure he deserved to be friends, but…at least you gave him the chance.”
“Kuchen’s not a bad pony anymore, thanks to you,” Pinkie said softly. “You made him give up hating everypony and start enjoying things again. And you gave me a new friend. I think that’s a far nicer thing than just letting him rot away because you don’t like some of the things he did.”
Twilight smiled. “I’m not really angry with you. It’s just…things have been getting worse and worse around here. It was your call to make, and whatever happens, I will still be your friend. But know we have a cure, and with that, everything is going to be all…”
The door to the study suddenly flung open, revealing a pair of mares, one green and one blue. “Excuse us, but have you seen Princess Celestia?”
Something within Twilight’s general guts area turned upside-down at the question. She and the recovering Pinkie slowly turned to face the two, their eyes wracked with new concerns. “No, why?”
“She’s gone missing!” shouted the hysterical blue mare. “She and Princess Luna had a terrible fight, and the next thing we knew she ran off!”
That little dash of dread in Twilight’s soon exploded into a mushroom cloud of unadulterated terror and horror. “Where’s Princess Luna?”
“I-In her office,” said the green mare. “She went there once the fight stopped and hasn’t come out since!”
“Then that’s where we’re going!” Twilight turned to Pinkie. “Come on! We’re too far in to stop now!”
----------
By the time the two ponies had reached Celestia’s office, a large crowd of worried ponies from all corners of the castle’s staff had already surrounded the entrance. Some were pleading for answers, while others just begged the princess to leave and tell them what was going on. It took all of Twilight’s pull with the guards (plus a few pulls from her magic) just for the two Ponyvillians to reach the door.
Twilight hushed the crowd, and they begrudgingly obliged. Taking a deep breath, Twilight knocked on the door. “Um...Hello? Princess Luna?”
A soft, regal voice answered back. “Twilight Sparkle?”
“W-We have a cure for the princess,” Twilight said. The declaration elicited another rush of chatter from the onlookers, albeit a lot more hopeful this time around. The unicorn hushed the crowd yet again before continuing. “C-Can we come inside?”
There was nothing from the other side for a while. Then, finally, a small voice answered back. “Very well. But just you and Miss Pie. Everypony else, please return to the search.”
The staff quickly followed their princess’ orders, filing away from the door and retreating to other parts of the palace. Once they were gone, Twilight and Pinkie opened the door and walked inside. Luna was still in the office all right, her quill furiously signing away on all manner of legislation. Were it not for her red eyes and shaky posture, it would have seemed like nothing was wrong. “Hello Twilight Sparkle, Miss Pie. I am sorry I cannot speak with you more right now, but there is so much to do still. I lost a lot of time today, and I…”
Pinkie didn’t even wait for her to finish. “We heard you and your sister had one heck of a fight.”
Luna sighed, her quill still working away. “Yes, we had a quarrel less than an hour ago. She left the room quite upset, as you can imagine. I decided to give her some space at the moment.”
“I…take it she told you she didn’t want to be princess anymore?”
The quill stopped so suddenly it snapped in two. Luna’s head jerked up in a furiously fast motion, sending the two mortal ponies back a few steps. “S-She what?”
Twilight facehoofed at her own foolishness. Way to go, Twilight. You just made things worse yet again.
“Sh-She does not want to be a princess anymore?” Luna’s lower lip trembled as she rose from her seat.
After a few moment, Twilight managed to regain enough of her composure to continue. “What exactly happened? I’ve never heard of you two fighting like that.”
All traces of her royal pride seemed to vanish in an instant. Luna’s face screamed self-loathing and deep-seated guilt over whatever had transpired. “Celestia ran away from the castle sometime early this morning. When we found her, she was at that carnival. We forced her back to the palace, I confronted her in her chambers, and…and…”
Pinkie looked almost desperate for answers. “And what?”
“I…I slapped her.”
Those blasted nerves in Twilight’s brain began to pump out those usual electrical pulses The muscles around her hooves tightened as she anchored herself to the ground, if only so she wouldn’t take a flying leap and start going after Luna’s neck. Unfortunately, they did little to silence her mouth. “You slapped Princess Celestia!”
Luna’s voice showed no signs of surprise at Twilight’s startled response, only regret. “I never wanted to hurt her. B-But she called me Nightmare Moon. She said I was a monster, that I was the worst big sister ever, and that I had turned all this into a chance to take over Equestria.” She sniffed. “And the worst part is, she’s right. I’m really not a good sister.”
“Y-You….I mean, you slapped…what?!” Twilight’s sentences devolved into something resembling ancient cavepony speak, or at least as it was presented in some of the pop fiction she had read in her time. She couldn’t quite pin what emotion she was feeling at the moment, but it was somewhere between “Very Angry” and “Twilight Smash.”
“Um…gals?” Pinke chirped. “Shouldn’t we be looking for the princess right now? I mean, we found one, but the other one could still be hurt!”
“I already know where she is,” Luna sniffled.
Twilight and Pinkie barely resisted the urge to faint like goats at this. The shock was so great that it managed to reboot Twilight’s higher brain functions. “If you know where she is, THEN WHY AREN’T YOU TALKING TO HER?”
“Because I…I…” Luna’s expressions hardened, becoming far more serious and businesslike. All traces of her former vulnerability were washed away. “Follow me. I’ll show you her favorite hiding place.”
----------
Luna’s silent procession through the castle was met with surprise and anxiety from every pony the group encountered. Guards, maids, cooks, and gardeners alike were turning over every nook and cranny of the palace, just in case Celestia had managed to compact herself to one inch in height and scuttled underneath a cushion. The moon princess could only sigh mournfully at all the trouble she had caused.
Twilight’s eyes never left Luna, even as they passed into the Royal Kitchens. The walk had calmed her slightly, but she still could feel nothing but a cold loathing for what Luna had done. The princess had not failed to notice this, but said nothing. There was really nothing any of them could say at this point. Pinkie, meanwhile, was too busy snagging the cake from this morning to notice, balancing the pastry on her head just to see if she could.
The procession stopped in front of a rather plain wooden doorway. Compared to the rest of the castle’s trappings, it stood out like a sore thumb. “So, what is this?” asked Twilight.
“The original Royal Pantry,” Luna said. “When Canterlot was rebuilt following Discord’s first defeat, this was where we stored what little food stores we had. It was already in disuse a thousand years ago, but we had ordered that it be maintained at all times.”
“But…why keep up an empty room?” Twilight asked.
“It wasn’t the pantry that was important,” Luna said as she opened the door. “It was what was behind the pantry.”
Having given all the answers she wished to at the moment, Luna slowly proceeded down the rickety wooden steps. Twilight and Pinkie were still more than a little confused by this, sharing the same cocked eyebrows and throbbing veins, but followed behind her nonetheless.
The pantry itself was little more than a glorified hole in the ground, complete with a dirt floor and moldy ceiling. Wooden beams held the walls up as best they could, while a few antiquated urns and jugs sat unused and broken in the far corner. In fact, the only things that were of any interest were a few tiny hoofprints on the ground leading up to the wall, and a few shelves filled with empty soup cans.
Luna eyed the piece of wall the trail stopped at. Like the rest of the pantry, it was made of antiquated stone. Unlike the rest of the pantry, however, there was almost no dirt or dust on one of the bricks. The princess glanced back and forth, and once she was satisfied nopony was hiding anywhere else, pushed a hoof against the outstanding brick.
The entire room became consumed by the dull sound of ticking gears as the entire wall slid back and to the left, revealing an ancient cavern twisting deep into the mountain Canterlot rested upon. Twilight gasped as she eyed the light-red, glowing moss growing along the walls. “Wh-What is this?”
“Did you ever wonder why Canterlot was built here?” Luna asked. “This is where my sister and I used to live, before we moved to the Everfree Forest for a time. When the Unicorn Kingdom built the original city, they purposely placed it here, thinking that we would like them more if they were closer to us. Unfortunately, all they did was lock us out of our home. When Canterlot was rebuilt millennia later, my sister and I ordered that a secret passageway be built into the pantry leading into the original cave.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Because it sounded sentimental at the time,” Luna sighed. “It is one of our most guarded secrets. None of the servants or guards are allowed inside, and only a select few know this place exists. We decided long ago that everyday Equestrians did not need to know our origin, nor did we wish to make it common knowledge.”
She motioned towards the darkness. “Well, if you have the cure ready, you might as well go fetch my sister. She will be at the very end of the passage. The Fire Moss should provide enough light, but watch your step. I will be in her study if you need me. I need to…finish some work before Celestia reassumes power.”
The princess had taken only a few steps up the stairs when she heard Twilight call out from behind. “You’re going back to work?! B-But you need to apologize…”
“What I am doing is for the best of Equestria,” Luna sighed. “Things have been building up, and I need to get something finished. I trust you two will be able to handle things from here. Speak to me when you are done.” And with that, Princess Luna trotted up the steps and vanished.
Twilight’s eyes glanced back and forth between the open passageway and the stairs. Okay, here’s my situation. Princess Luna slapped Celestia across the face, and she doesn’t want to be princess anymore. That means before I turn her back to normal, I have to convince her that she isn’t a bad ruler. But Princess Luna is obviously guilty about what happened. It feels like she’s trying to avoid the issue rather than confront her sister. If I want there to be any kind of peace between these two, I have to get them to speak to each other again. Oh, what do I do?
“Hey Twilight! Ever notice how weird these cans are? ‘Shy gypsy, slyly, spryly…?’ Sheesh, talk about too much time on your hooves!”
Twilight snapped back to reality at the sound of Pinkie’s voice. The pony was reading over the soup cans, seemingly paying no attention to everything going on around her. The unicorn facehoofed, her forehead aching from all the poundings it had taken the last few days. “Pinkie, what are you doing? We have a serious problem here!”
Pinkie turned away from the shelves and back towards her friend, the cake still perfectly perched upon her head. “Oh, I know that! And I know just what to do! You go talk to Princess Luna, and I’ll go get Princess Celestia! They say they’re sorry, we all have a group hug, and we have Princess Celestia back to normal by nightfall!”
Twilight groaned. “That’s not going to work! The two are so upset at each other right now, there’s no way we can get them to make up!” She raised a curious eye. “And besides, why would you talk to Princess Celestia? I’m her student. Shouldn’t it be me that helps her?”
Pinkie raised a paw to her mouth, loudly cleared her throat, and lowered her leg before continuing. “That’s because you are a biased party in this situation. As Princess Celestia’s personal student, you have more of an inclination to support her and her decisions, even if they are made in the heat of a moment. I, on the other hoof, am a completely neutral party in this case, and can thus provide a far fairer analysis of the events, thereby leading to a proper resolution. As for Princess Luna, both you and she have some things in common which can make it easier for the two of you to build a trust between each other.”
Twilight just stood there, her mouth agape at Pinkie’s long-winded explanation. Seeing her friend’s confusion, Pinkie pointed to the plate sitting atop her. “Oh, and I have a cake on my head. That helps, too.”
“Um…sure. Let’s…go with that,” Twilight mumbled.
Having triumphed over the egghead, Pinkie excitedly hopped down the corridor, vanishing into the darkness beyond. Twilight, meanwhile, slowly stumbled back up the stairs, her mind still reeling from what she had just heard. I wonder how much salt I’ll have to lick to get this experience out of my head?
----------
From the very moment Luna had entered Celestia’s study, she had busied herself with reviewing one piece of legislation after another. Trade agreements with the Republic of Asino, military alliances with the outlying pony lands, and even a few everyday laws and regulations were piled on the table, along with all of Twilight Sparkle’s and Pinkie Pie’s notes on the cure. Fortunately, there was still room for the princess to work.
She had so much to finish before the inevitable occurred. She had to leave some mark on Equestria as a whole, if only so they would have something to remember her by besides Nightmare Moon. Perhaps she could even drum up some support among the populace in her last few hours. After all, she had once enjoyed some popularity…
---
Luna was having the most amazing day.
The cheerful filly hopped from cloud to cloud, many of them her own creation, as she watched the ponies scurry about underneath. A scant fifty years ago, one of the herds had discovered how to control fire, something her big sister had said would be the beginning of civilization itself, and the nomads were certainly making the most of their new toy. From her vantage point, Luna had picked up their language, their customs, and even some information about the rest of the world. Her big sister had actually travelled outside their valley from time to time, but never allowed Luna to go.
Luna watched as ponies beat together berries and grain into a mush, pitched small shelters for the coming night, and even sharpened a few spears in case any predators decided to come by and think this was a feast. A few were even burning some excess grain on a rocky slab nearby; Luna could never understand why they would waste food like that. Satisfied that she had watched over the ponies properly for the day, the filly skipped back home, her little wings fluttering happily as she hummed an old tune she had heard the mother ponies sing below.
Celestia herself did not appear until an hour after Luna had made it home. She flew in as usual, her gangly, developing body hiding the fantastic power she held within. She and Luna spoke at length in their ancient, long-forgotten tongue. The elder sister spoke of her encounters with the ravenous dragon hordes and the greedy Diamond Dogs, while Luna prattled on about every wondrous new thing occurring in the village. It wasn’t until they heard a hoof scrape across the rocky floor that they realized they were not alone up here.
The two turned about to see a terrified mare kneeling before them, a spear resting next to her forelegs. Luna recognized her as being of some importance to the nearby tribe. Using what knowledge she had gained from her sister’s observations, Celestia stepped forward to acknowledge her, sending the mare shrinking back even more in fear. “You from tribe. Tell us why you come,” she said in that cumbersome, infantile language the ponies below spoke.
The mare stammered out a response. “Me Briar Patch. Daughter of chief. Me come asking for help from mighty sun god.”
Celestia and Luna shared a curious glance before continuing. “Sun god? Me?”
“We watch you many times. You control sun and moon. You sun god. You bring us food. You help us live.” The mare took a few steps out of the cave and stood along the edge of the cliff, the two Alicorns following alongside. She pointed her spear towards the village. “Me have two sisters and three brothers left. They burn offerings every night. They pray you keep tribe safe.”
Celestia watched the scene in stunned amazement. She knew her position was roughly around the same level as a god, but to be worshiped so quickly? “Me…honored.”
“And me honored too!” Luna piped in.
Having made her point, Briar Patch continued. “Tomorrow, season change. Tribe must move to new field. Winged ones want new home. Winged ones tell tribe they destroy tribe if tribe goes to new field.”
Luna’s eyes and mouth opened in joy as she heard mention of the winged ponies. She had seen a few of them in the valley, all dressed in shiny metal and looking very mean. And yet she could never figure out why they didn’t just go down and visit the other tribes. It was weird how they acted all secretive. “And how we help?”
Briar Patch nodded towards Celestia. “Winged ones worship sun god. They will listen if sun god speak. Tribe wishes for war. War cost many lives. Winged ones too powerful. Tribe will die. Sun god make peace, save tribe.”
Luna looked up to Celestia expectedly. This was the first time either one had been asked to intervene in any sort of mortal matter, save for keeping the planet’s ecosystem going. Celestia looked hesitant at first, as if afraid she would make a mess of things, but one look into her sister’s eyes changed all that. “Me talk to winged ones. Me make peace.”
Briar Patch bowed in reverence. “We double offering in thanks. You honor tribe with your grace.” And with that, she turned tail and galloped down the treacherous mountain path.
Once their guest was long gone, Luna turned back to her sister, reassuming their ancient tongue. “Please tell me they will learn to talk good one day.”
Celestia chuckled. “Of course they will, little sister. But ponies are still young. Things like this take a long time. Now go wash up for dinner. I gathered some new plants to try.”
Luna growled a little at the prospect of being a taste tester again, but obeyed her sister’s commands and ran inside the cave. She washed her hooves in the water-filled clay dish her sister had created a few years prior before drying herself on some cloths made from discarded manticore hair. The beast had attacked another tribe a few months back, only to meet its end at the tips of several sharp rocks on sticks. Celestia had seen fit to take some pieces of it back for their convenience; her sister was too good a pony to kill something with no reason.
Yes, life was grand in the cave…
---
For the first time since she had slapped Celestia, Luna allowed herself to smile at the nostalgia. Oh, those were the days. No real Equestria to manage, no Discord to fight, no laws and rules you had to follow. Just living in a cold cave for thousands of years while everypony around you practically worships the earth we trotted on.
Her mood soured as the rest of the past slipped in. And then I became the Night Goddess, and everypony immediately thought I was a devourer of souls and destroyers of ponies. Nopony cared how I felt except Celestia. And now…
She shook her head vigorously, stopping only when she was sure the offending thoughts were long gone. “I-I have to finish,” she whispered to herself. “It is only a matter of time before Celestia returns and…”
The door creaked open behind her, followed by the sound of hoofsteps against the hard floor. “Princess Luna, can we talk?”
Luna recognized the voice almost immediately. Nonetheless, her attention remained on her work. “I take it everything went well?”
“A-Actually…”
Luna finally spun her head around, and immediately realized where this topic was going. Twilight stood in the room alone, the door slowly closing behind her. There was no sign of either Celestia or Pinkie Pie. “I thought I had told you to come back only when my sister was cured, Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight gulped loudly before continuing. “Pinkie and I have been talking, and…it doesn’t feel right to turn Princess Celestia back while you two are still fighting.”
Luna scoffed, her attention never moving from the table. “The fight is over. Celestia has her cure, so why are we delaying?”
Twilight’s left ear twitched slightly in frustration. “What I mean is, I want the both of you to reconcile before we put Celestia back into power. Otherwise, who knows how bad things can get?”
“If you are worried about another power struggle, I can assure you that will not be happening,” Luna said. ‘Now if you will excuse me, I have something very important to do.”
Twilight’s eyes slowly drifted to the pile of papers sitting before the princess. They were no doubt the things she was trying to hide behind. If she was going to even get Luna to listen, she would have to do something drastic. “Why yes, you do.”
The unicorn trotted up to the table and, with the casualness of a thousand Rainbow Dashes, swung one foreleg across the whole surface. Everything Luna had so carefully constructed went flying across the room, landing in scattered heaps or embedding itself between books and scrolls.
Luna sprung from her seat and stomped up to Twilight’s face, her eyes locking with the unicorn’s in an attempt to scare the very soul out of her. Her right foreleg pointed straight for the pony’s chest, bobbing back and forth like she was scolding a small child. “How dare you interrupt royal business! You have no right-“
Twilight swatted the offending hoof away, startling Luna. “Let’s talk about rights, shall we? First off, what gives you the right to smack your sister across the face and then refuse to apologize?”
Luna reared back defensively. She had never quite seen such intensity in Twilight before. “I-I do not have to answer to you! What my sister said and did was inexcusable!”
“That doesn’t excuse you either!” Twilight snapped back. Her own hoof was now prodding Luna’s chest, alarming the traditionalist royal to no end. “Your sister was absolutely miserable this morning not because she wasn’t allowed to go to some rinky-dink carnival, but because she didn’t feel appreciated!”
Now it was Luna’s turn to smack Twilight’s hoof away. “I was despised and hated for over a thousand years! If Celestia cannot endure a few lines of bad press, then she never had any hope as a real princess!”
“Oh, I think it’s worse than some newspaper,” Twilight snapped. “These last few days, you have been horrible to her!”
“I was being responsible! I was trying to preserve what remained of my sister’s true self! All you wanted was to let her run around and get into trouble!” The princess leaned in closer. “In fact, I would say what has happened here is your fault! If you had not given her such foalish notions, she would not be trying to run away from everything!”
Twilight leaned in herself, the horns of the two ponies almost striking like swords. “But that’s what she wanted! She wanted to enjoy herself! She wanted to experience an actual foalhood for once! And let’s not forget that her ‘true self’ wouldn’t have been in danger to begin with if you HADN’T TURNED HER INTO A FILLY!”
“And what would you have me do now?”
“I want you to apologize to your sister! You two both need to grow up and accept responsibility for your actions!”
“None of that will matter once she sends me back in the moon!’
The sudden declaration sent Twilight sprawling back a few steps. Luna’s eyes were frantic, as was her breathing. “Wh-What do you mean?”
“Do you really expect Celestia to forgive me for what I have done?” Luna gasped. “She hates me. She told me herself. The moment she is back to her rightful age, she will no doubt have you and the other Bearers banish me to the moon yet again. And this time, she will never release me.”
Twilight’s ears flattened. “Th-That doesn’t sound like the Celestia I know. She went through so much trouble to bring you back and defeat Nightmare Moon. She wouldn’t just banish you again over something like this.”
Luna’s gaze softened, but not because she believed what Twilight had said. “It is…more than that. I…I cannot allow myself to remain if I am a danger to Equestria.”
“Y-You’re not a ‘danger to Equestria,’” Twilight said.
Luna lowered her gaze to the floor, feeling quite ashamed of herself. “Twilight…have you ever seen my sister injured? Physically, I mean.”
Twilight paused for a moment. “Well, there was that incident with your dresser, but that’s all I can think of.”
“I can think of two times. The last time was a thousand years ago, when I became Nightmare Moon. When Celestia came to confront me for not lowering the moon, I…Nightmare Moon tried to kill her. The battle was ferocious; it spread from one end of Equestria to another. But Celestia refused to fight back. She did not want to believe I could do something so vile, so she tried to use only defensive spells. Nightmare….I overpowered her, slammed her into mountainsides, cleaved her through valleys, and hurled her into the upper echelons of Equestria’s atmosphere. By the time she had reached the Elements of Harmony, she was battered, broken, and twisted.”
Twilight fell back on her haunches in shock. No wonder Luna is taking this so badly. “B-But you said there were two times. What was the first one?”
“The first time was when Discord conquered Equestria. He had driven the ponies mad, left the entire government in tatters, and then decided to celebrate by forcing everypony to eat roasted flesh. Celestia and I had been away at the time, settling things in the Everfree Forest. But when she saw what he was doing…”
----------
“DISCORD!”
The draconequus lifted his head from his plate, his lips stained with a mixture of blood and chocolate milk. The other ponies kept eating away, a few crying as their attempts to fight the mad god’s influence failed. The sun goddess’ eyes burned with the intensity of a thousand suns. “Discord, what have you done?”
“Oh please, Celestia, can’t this wait?” the dragon moaned. “Business really shouldn’t be discussed over the dinner table.”
“You-You force our own ponies to eat their own kind?!” Luna shouted.
“Wait…you think these are YOUR ponies?” Discord laughed. With a snap of his paw, a small scroll materialized in front of Celestia, unfurled, and then slammed itself right into her muzzle. “You see, I had a nice little chat with the High Council, and they were oh so eager to just hand the land over. The military objected, but they’re too busy digging up worms and laying eggs now to talk about anything. As for the Unicorn Kingdom, they were perfectly happy to abdicate once they saw just how wonderfully awe-inspiring I am.”
Luna hopped up and down beside her sister, desperate to get a better view of the scroll. “Sister…is this true?”
The only sound to come from Celestia was the grinding of teeth. A golden aura surrounded the scroll briefly before blasting it with the heat of a raging inferno, burning it to ash. “You forget I am not a member of Equestria’s government. I do not have to bow to a monster like you. And neither does any species on this planet!”
Discord flew from his throne, hovering around the two princesses in his usual mocking way. “Well, I do suppose they don’t have to bow. They could perhaps curtsy, kiss my hand, do a little dance, whatever. All that matters is, they serve me now. I could always use some extra help sowing some chaos, perhaps even preparing for the next slaughter.
He stopped in front of Celestia, his claw poking her right between the eyes. “Oh, don’t tell me they never said you weren’t the first kids those deadbeats dumped on this rock. Every couple hundred thousand years, a few more get dropped off. They make their own civilization, create some things to live there, maybe bulldoze their homes with giant lizards, and then what happens? I wake up from my latest nap, spread chaos and destruction around, and get to watch everything they tried to build get burned to the ground. And in exchange, I don’t do anything else to the rest of the universe. Oh, it’s the little things that make life worthwhile.”
Celestia’s eyes widened as Discord’s words seeped in. Her parents abandoned the two on a lifeless world thousands of years ago. Discord seemingly appeared from nowhere whenever civilization got off to any kind of a start, just so he could knock everypony right back down. And now, he was effortlessly taking over the new homeland of her favorite children. The same land she had tirelessly served to protect from harm was now in the hands of an insane, virtually incomprehensible monster.
Luna prodded at her sister’s side, breaking the elder from her stupor. “Celestia, is he telling the truth?”
The sun goddess looked down at her younger sister. Luna’s eyes were wide opened, almost pleading the older one to say that it wasn’t true. But the goddess could say nothing. It was impossible for her to intone just what she was feeling. Discord was a liar and a schemer, always twisting everything so he could get his way. He could worm his way into anypony’s mind with just a few whispers, destroying whatever it was that made them unique before bending them to his whim. She had witnessed it countless time, albeit never on this scale.
This time should be no different.
But it all made too much sense.
Their abandonment, Discord’s arrival, and the sheer level of chaos spread within such a short amount of time was just too much of a coincidence to ignore. The monster was really telling the truth this time. And it cut worse than even the most heinous falsehood anypony could dream of.
Celestia turned away from her sister, instead locking in on the still-hovering Discord before her. “I do not care why or how we got here, but this is our home. This land was ours before the ponies migrated here, and I will not allow a maniac like yourself to despoil it for your own sick purposes!”
Discord scratched at his chin, smirking at the young one’s defiance. “You certainly have some fire in you. Must come from carting that sun around all day. But you really should lighten up. It’s not too late to join the party. We have some fine Pony Stickers!”
Celestia’s teeth ground against each other as lowered herself into a battle stance. “Discord, it is long past time somepony put you down.”
The draconequus facepawed himself and groaned, lowering himself down to the ground out of sheer frustration. “Look, you’re still kind of new at this, so I’ll give you some pointers. I am the embodiment of chaos itself. I exist because life itself exists, and unless you plan to obliterate every single living thing in the universe, you won’t get so much as a scratch on me. You, on the other hand, are tied to a big ball of gas floating around the planet. And suns can be extinguished. Believe me, I’ve snuffed a few out back in my day.”
“Sister, please!” Luna begged. “There’s no way you can win!”
“Be silent, Luna!” Celestia snapped. “When I require the advice of a child, I will ask for it!”
Luna took a few surprised steps back. She had never heard such raw anger in her sister’s voice before. A small part of Celestia softened as she saw the panic in her younger sibling’s eyes, but her mind was set. Today, Discord would fall.
The alicorn reared herself onto her hind legs and let out a whinny that echoed across the land. The force of her forehooves crashing down was enough to shake nearly all of Equestria. Discord just yawned at the spectacle, his mind constantly wandering back to the glass of milk he had been forced to abandon for all this Even his very voice lacked any of the usual smug superiority, instead replacing it with outright annoyance and menace. “All right, Celestia. We all knew this was gonna happen someday. Might as well get it over with”
With a final cry, Celestia charged ahead. Her horn was already aglow with a golden light as she prepared the myriad of spells it would take to destroy this monster once and for all. Discord simply stood in place, his arms crossed impatiently. And from the background, Luna watched and silently cheered as her sister entered the fray.
Celestia was about five feet away from Discord when he struck. Before she could fire off a single spell, the monster had teleported aside, grabbed Celestia by the midsection, and body slammed her into the ground. All the magic she had so diligently prepared beforehoof vanished as her head struck earth, the impact utterly destroying her concentration. Luna gasped as Discord stood over her, his body pinning her to the checkerboard earth.
“I really don’t care much for the direct approach, you know that?” Discord leered. “It’s just not as much fun when you have to bludgeon things over the head to get them to work with you. But sometimes, you run into someone – or somepony – that just doesn’t get it. It’s over, dear Celestia! You put up a good fight, but I WON!”
Celestia struggled against her captor’s weight. “This is not over, Discord!”
Discord ignored his opponent’s threats and curses. Instead, his eyes glanced down to Celestia’s outstretched wings. “My, those are such lovely wings you have. Perfectly aerodynamic, with such amazing plumage? Oh my, how genetics have spoiled you, little filly. Here, let me just make a few…er….modifications, if you will?”
With a maniacal glee, Discord plunged both of his clawed arms into Celestia’s wings, yanking out feather after feather. Luna screamed out her sister’s name, but it was inaudible over the sound of her sister’s cries of pain. It took what seemed like an eternity for Celestia to regain enough composure to teleport away, but by then the damage had been done. Her once majestic wings were now shredded, bloodied messes stuck to the sides of her body.
The disgraced goddess took in deep, labored breaths as Discord teleported alongside her again. “Oh, I’m sorry. Seems I took a little too much off. I don’t think those are going…to…”
The draconequus’ attention turned skyward as a very bright, very hot light appeared in the sky. All three godlike beings could recognize what it was in an instant: a solar flare. Normally such a thing would be catastrophic, but in Celestia’s hooves it could be fine-tuned until it was more like an extremely powerful laser. Luna felt like laughing as the beam speeded towards Equestria. There was no way Discord could survive that.
Discord, on the other hoof, did laugh it off. “Oh please, Celestia. Do you ever think these things through? Haven’t you thought of what that big old fireball is going to do to your sister?”
Celestia’s eyes widened in alarm. “What?”
The entire ground began to shake, as if the planet itself was being suddenly rotated. The beam’s position moved along with it, until it was over a new target: Luna. The alicorn filly, unaware of what was happening, was still cheering on her sister in this most epic of battles.
With a scream, Celestia broke away from Discord and galloped towards her sister, her horn desperately trying to put up a shield or lower the flare’s intensity. She managed to push her out of the way just as the blast hit. A searing column of flame engulfed her, its roaring flames beating out whatever noises the white alicorn made while she burned. Were it not for the shield she had thrown over the stunned Luna, her sister would have shared her fate.
The flare dissipated a few seconds later, but its damage had been done. Celestia was still alive, but almost every inch of her skin was burnt a crisp black. A few open blisters covered her back, and her few coughs were rasped and dry. Luna instinctively ran towards her, but was shoved aside by the charging Discord.
“Oh Celestia, you don’t look so good.” He tsk-tsked at Celestia’s mangled body. “Tell you what, let me help you take some of those nasty burns off.”
Luna was still only half-up when she heard her sister’s anguished screams, along with the ripping of flesh from muscle. The horrified filly closed her eyes as the sounds only grew worse. Bones cracked, hairs were pulled, and claws tore through flesh. And through it all, Discord’s voice jeered and taunted his victim. “No need for that sun on your flank anymore! Oh, and why do you need both eyes? Oh I’m sorry, were you attached to that leg? How about I balance it out, okay?”
Then, the noises stopped. Everything was still, save for something warm trickling down Luna’s cheek.
“Pardon me, Luna, but is this yours?”
The filly recognized the voice as Discord’s, but opened her eyes just the same. The fiend stood before her, holding the limp, bleeding body of her sister. Her coat and skin were torn in several places, while her mane had been almost completely pulled from her scalp. One eye was missing, and all four of her legs were broken at unnatural angles. It was then that Luna recognized the warmth she had felt.
It was her sister’s blood, dripping down from her mouth onto Luna’s cheek.
Discord dropped Celestia’s body to the ground, still flashing that demonic smirk of his. Luna’s entire body shook with terror as she glanced back and forth between her sister’s corpse and her soon-to-be-killer. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. We all knew this was coming. You see, dear Luna, that order really has no place in my kingdom. Your sister gave her life to save this bunch of worthless horses, but you don’t have to make the same mistake. If you want, you can join with the rest of us. Ponies will actually love you for once; heck, I can make them love you however much you want. You won’t have to worry about dear mommy and daddy or your dead sister again.”
Luna’s mind reeled at her dying sister’s mangled mess of a corpse. Every single thought vanished save for pure survival instinct. She leaped onto Celestia’s body, powered up her horn, and threw out the most powerful teleportation spell she could think of. Before Discord’s astonished eyes, the two vanished…
---
For the second time is as many days, Twilight could feel her stomach churning in horror at a princess’ story. Luna fell deftly quiet as her tale concluded. “So…what happened?”
Luna sighed. “I teleported what remained of my sister to our palace in the Everfree Forest. As amazing as this may sound to your generation, it was the safest place in Equestria from Discord’s mad reign. That small patch of land is the only place in the nation that cannot be controlled by outside magic. Why do you think we built our new home there?”
She turned away from Twilight. Her voice began to crack slightly as she spoke. “My sister was barely alive. It took every ounce of my power to keep her alive long enough to heal her wounds. It took hundreds of years for her to recover completely, and even then, she never healed completely. She still cannot see well outside of that one eye. Her wings cannot glide at the same speeds or survive the same intensity as before. And as for her legs…well, have you ever seen her gallop? She cannot break into so much as a trot anymore.”
A few small drops ran down Luna’s muzzle. “By the time she was well enough for us to pursue the Elements of Harmony, Discord’s insanity had spread out beyond Equestria and began swallowing up the neighboring lands. Not a trace of the land we had tried to defend was left. A-And it was my fault.”
Twilight took a few steps towards the princess. “No, it wasn’t. You did the best you could. I’ve faced Discord, and I know how much of a monster he is.”
Luna shook her head. “I could have helped her during the fight. I could have pulled her back before things had begun. But no, I just sat there like a good little filly and let my sister get torn to shreds. I promised myself that whatever I did, I would never see her hurt like that again. And then two thousand years later, what happens? I become Nightmare Moon and try to kill her myself. And after I’m purified, I slap her across the face while she is in a highly weakened state.”
The princess sighed. “She will never forgive me. And even if she did, I could never forgive myself.”
----------
Celestia barely moved in the darkness. What little light the Fire Moss was giving off was barely enough to let the filly see her own hoof in front of her face, much less navigate her way back through the winding passageways to the castle proper. In her haste to reach her usual hiding spot, she had forgotten just how deep the ancient passageways ran underneath Canterlot. As much as the filly hated to admit it, she was lost.
Not that it matters anymore.
The small chamber she now sat in was the only part of the caves to show any signs of life. Upon the rock sat faded paints and pictures. It was upon this canvas that the two sisters had first practiced their art, etching out the designs that would later be the stars and creatures of their world. Once they had been things of beauty; now, less than a dozen remained visible, and even those would vanish within a half-century or less.
Just another reminder of how old I am…
---
For over a thousand years, all Celestia could do was watch the sky. There was no sun, no moon, no anything to mark that any time had passed. She had grown barely an inch in all that time, and once the pleasures of a physical body had worn out their welcome, she was left with the grim realization that she was now trapped as this for an eternity. Or until she starved to death, whatever came first.
All that time, she had barely ventured out of the same cavern her parents had abandoned her in. They had said the place was blessed, that nothing could harm her as long as she stayed within its walls, but that did little to offset that peculiar feeling in her body’s gut. The only way to get the rumbling to stop was to eat, but almost nothing grew on this wasteland of a planet. The only things she could find were a few straggling plants and some cave moss, and judging from her very thin proportions, it was obviously not enough to survive on.
She dared not poke her head outside. Her first attempts at creating macroscopic life had ended in disaster, unleashing massive beasts that snorted fire upon the world. The rest of the developing lifeforms were not much better, and even under the accelerated growth her parents had placed upon the planet, they were still little more than frogs and small rodent or two. Even worse, they had the audacity to ignore her demands that they just start evolving already and give her a playmate.
Then, during one featureless day, Celestia awoke to a sound she had never heard before. It was a sharp wail, much higher pitched than her own, that rumbled its way around the cave’s interior. The filly rolled off the cold floor and onto her hooves, being careful to balance her posture this time so she didn’t fall face-first into a pile of rocks again.
Her eyes lit up as she saw what awaited her at the cave’s entrance. It was her parents, standing tall and powerful, their ethereal forms twisted into facsimiles of her own. With a squeal of glee, Celestia galloped towards the two, only to be stopped when an energy field enveloped her mere hoofsteps from her mother.
“Celestia,” her father said in his booming voice. “We have decided that you cannot perform your duties alone.”
“What duties?” Celestia whined. “You never told me anything!”
“You will know when the time comes,” her mother said in a much smoother, sweeter voice. “In the meanwhile, we have brought you someone to share this planet with.”
The two stepped aside, and a creature Celestia had never seen before stumbled into the cavern. It looked a little like her, but its body was a dark blue, with a much lighter shade for the hair and tail. It was very short and very pudgy, looking more like a parody of a mortal than anything else. Celestia recoiled in terror as the giggling monstrosity walked towards her. “Wh-What is it?”
“This is a baby,” said the father. “Your sister, in fact. We have given her the name ‘Luna.’ Just as you will one day forge a mighty sun to light this world, she shall bring forth the moon to begin the night.”
“Wh-What is a night?” Celestia cried. “And what am I supposed to do with her?” Luna only sat on her rear and giggled at her newfound sister’s frustrated attitude.
“Take care of her, and you will both find your true destiny,” said the mother.
And with that, the two figures melted away from sight. The energy field broke upon their disappearance, but it was too late for Celestia to do any more than gallop out of the cave and look up at that empty sky.
“Mom! Dad! Come back! D-Did I do something wrong? Is that why you left me? I’m sorry! J-Just please do not leave me again! MOMMY! DADDY! PLEAAAAAASE!”
The wailing noise emerged from the cave. Celestia turned around to see that her new sister was crying up a storm, flailing her tiny little stubs like clubs in a bid for attention. Sighing, Celestia bent over and wrapped up the crying baby in her front legs. Luna’s cries lessened as she took in the warmth of her sister’s body, causing her to fall asleep.
“Do not worry, Luna. I am sure they will be back some day…”
---
The princess moaned at the memories. Her parents never bothered to come back again, leaving the two alone for all of eternity. Fortunately, alicorn foals were especially tough, and Celestia managed to keep Luna alive despite her relative youth and inexperience. By the time she was a yearling, the accelerated evolution of the planet had run its course, and the world had begun to resemble its present self more. And from there, it just got worse.
The early strife between the Pony Tribes. Discord’s appearance and conquest of Equestria. Nightmare Moon. They had all taken their toll on Celestia’s own good will, slowly burning their way through what little grace she still had. The old me wouldn’t have tried to poison some ponies she didn’t like, or make her sister’s life a living hell for her own amusement. I…I…”
“Hello?!”
The fur on Celestia’s back stood rigid as she spun around. Standing behind her was Pinkie Pie placing a cake (plus platter) on the ground. “Has anypony told you this is the coolest secret passage ever? I mean, those ones in the sewer are alright, but boy, are they stinky! Not this, though! It’s all super-secrety and cool!”
Celestia sniffed away a tear, trying to put up as brave a front as possible. “So, what do you want?”
“Oh, the usual,” Pinkie said. “Happiness for all, parties for everpony, perhaps an orbital party fortress so I can rain love and joy all over the world. But right now, I was just seeing if you were all right. I heard you and your sister had a little fight.”
Celestia pointed at the red mark across her face. “You call this a little fight?”
Pinkie winced. She could still remember things like that from her own foalhood. Of course, those tended to be from her parents, and usually after she did something like carve the entire harvest into smiley faces, or that time her epic kazoo recital had caused a boulder to crash through the house. Her sisters never lashed out at her like that. “I’m sorry, your royalness. I didn’t know…”
“No, you don’t,” Celestia growled. “And you will never know.”
“I have two sisters and a cousin,” Pinkie said without as much as a drop of snark. “And by you, I could tell you stories! Why, I remember this one time, we went to Octy’s first recital, and I decided to be nice and tune her cello while she was in the bathroom. She…wasn’t too happy when I broke every string she had. And then broke her bow trying to fix them. And then set the cello on fire. She was so angry that she called me a stupid good-for-nothing that ruined everything around her. I said she was a grumpy pony that can’t appreciate anypony else trying to do anything nice for her. It seemed like the end of our friendship as cousins, but after a few days, she wrote that she was sorry and that I was allowed back any time she had a performance.”
Celestia sighed. “That’s…nice. But it’s not the same as what happened between my sister and I. All she cares about is making herself look good by making me look bad.”
Pinkie scoffed. “Now that’s just a nasty ol’ lie! Your sister loves you! You should have seen how heartbroken she was when she showed me this place.”
Celestia was silent for a while, her mind reeling with images of a sobbing, remorseful Luna. They just made the filly feel even more guilty. “It’s just another mistake. I’ve made oh-so-many over the millennia.”
“Well, I mean, everypony makes mistakes!” said Pinkie. “I mean, I trusted talking balloons once! A pony as old as you must have messed up a few times!”
“And the entire reason you have a voice in your head is because of one of my mistakes,” Celestia sighed. “In fact, us becoming princesses to begin with was a mistake!”
---
Celestia and Luna stared down at Discord’s stoned remains. Around them, Equestria gradually returned to its former state, as all traces of Discord’s mismanaged rule vanished once the source of their existence had been removed. The ponies that had been accompanying their chaotic master to his demise finally saw the world with untwisted minds for the first time in their lives. After generations of suffering, the war was finally over.
Celestia smiled as she took in fresh air for the first time in centuries. She then turned to the stunned ponies, who were still staring at their master in utter bafflement. “My little ponies, you are free. Discord’s anarchy has come to an end.”
One of the ponies took a confused step forward. “i-I heard him mention you before! You are Celestia and Luna!”
“Impossible!” said another. “Those two died eons ago! These must be imposters, or perhaps their descendents!”
Luna smiled. “We are one and the same. It took us this long to recover from the last battle, but we have returned.”
“And now what?” asked a third. “What are we supposed to do now?”
Celestia composed herself, looking far more powerful than she had been in a long while. “I want you to spread the word. Travel from village to village, proclaiming the good news of Discord’s destruction. Then, I want you to find a representative from each community, and bring them back to this spot. We must discuss the rebuilding of Equestria.”
The ponies were apprehensive at first, but eventually bowed and darted off in all different directions. Once they were all safely out of earshot, Luna turned to Celestia. “They were right, though. We never had a plan for after we defeated Discord.”
Celestia’s response was to hover upwards look silently over all of Equestria. Even with Discord’s corruption gone, there were still many things missing. Entire settlements were wiped from existence, and even Canterlot was no more than some small patches of rubble. The population had declined dramatically, and it would take many generations of ponies working together before the land could be a viable nation again. And the ruling families were long gone, their destruction being one of the first things Discord did to solidify his reign. There was no pony capable of leading Equestria in this dark time.
That is…
“We will have to rule Equestria.”
Luna’s jaw dropped. “Wh-What? But we are not royalty!”
“We are the only ponies that can remember what royalty is,” Celestia said. She tapped a hoof on Luna’s shoulder and smiled at her warmly, calming the young one’s nerves. “We might have to re-educate all of Equestria, dear sister. So much has been lost, and we are the only ones that can bring it together again. Until a time where the nation’s subjects can take care of themselves again, we must do everything we can to make survive.”
Luna was very quiet for quite a while. She had not really planned on something like this, even when she used to “borrow” Princess Platinum’s crown and cape and strut around like a unicorn princess. And yet her sister’s words were true. They were the last bastions of pony civilization. “W-Well, do we have to follow all those stupid traditions?”
“I suppose so,” Celestia said with a wink. “We did teach them to the unicorns, after all. Not that we cannot change a few.”
“So we are going to have to talk in plural, yell at our subjects, start using ‘thou,’ and have ponies kissing our hooves all day?”
“I believe so,” said Celestia.
Luna sighed. “Well…if it is only for a while.”
---
Pinkie shook her head in disbelief, even as she continued chewing on her slice of cake. Celestia’s piece sat undisturbed in front of her. “So…you weren’t gonna be princesses forever?”
“That was not the plan at the time,” said Celestia. “It took a while to get going again, but after the first thousand years had passed, Equestria was well on its way back to its hooves. So, we decided it was time to re-introduce Democracy again. The Parliament would run most of Equestria, while Luna and I shifted over to ceremonial duties over anything else. It would have been perfect….had the election gone right.”
Pinkie swallowed her piece. “So, what happened?”
“They voted us back in unanimously,” Celestia sighed. “None of the candidates even tried to run a serious campaign. They all just wanted to make sure Luna and I stayed locked up in this castle forever.”
“So, why not just quit?” Pinkie asked between bites.
“Because we had inadvertently centered Equestria’s entire government on ourselves and our decisions. There were still local governments and mayors and the like, but almost every top-level decision had to be run through us. Before long, we had actually made the entire country dependent on whatever we did. We-We couldn’t just leave. I had thought about just giving more power to the aristocracy, but...then Nightmare Moon happened. I had to put everything on hold just so the country wouldn’t fall apart.”
Pinkie didn’t say anything. She stopped chewing on her third piece, while Celestia just continued to eye her first. The princess laid herself upon the rocky floor, eyes sad and detached from the world around her. “They cheered, you know? They congratulated me on slaying that terrible monster and saving Equestria from her soul-devouring tyranny. They even made that day into a holiday, Nightmare Night. And no matter what I said or did, they refused to accept that Luna and Nightmare Moon are not the same pony.”
The pink pony set her food aside and walked up next to the princess. She nuzzled her gently, eliciting a small smile from Celestia. “It’s okay. Your sister’s back now, so what’s wrong?”
Celestia sighed. “Luna doesn’t need me anymore. She’s doing a wonderful job with Equestria. The fact is, nopony really needs a sour old pony like myself to boss them around. So, why stay?”
“Um…because you want to?” Pinkie stammered half-heartedly.
“I do suppose I enjoy the position sometimes,” she said. “I love speaking my subjects, and would do anything to make sure they’re happy. And I cannot deny, there is some pleasure in pulling a diplomatic victory over some unsuspecting ambassador.”
Her frown returned, deeper than ever. “But that doesn’t excuse my behavior. Instead of talking to my subjects when something was wrong, I shunned them. Instead of taking time out of my day to at least show that I care a little, I brushed my youngest and weakest ponies off without so much as giving a reason why. And instead of talking things over with my sister, I turned her into my personal punching bag until she broke. I should have stopped Discord before he could escape. I should have found a way to save my sister before I banished her. And that’s just the beginning.”
The filly looked at Pinkie sheepishly. “I…I can’t go back. Equestria would be better off without a Princess Celestia. Besides, I’m a lot happier this way. I have a friend in Lofty, a real mother in Twilight, and no more royal duties I can make a mess of. If I go back to Luna, though, she’ll force me back on the throne. I’m sorry, but I can’t allow that. I never want to go back to that again.”
----------
Twilight leaned over the fireplace, her horn releasing a spark that ignited a roaring flame. “I admit, what your sister said was terrible, but why are you so certain she’d not want to apologize either? The Princess Celestia I know would be asking for forgiveness almost immediately.”
“I-It’s more complicated than that,” Luna said. “Even if we did atone for our actions, she still does not wish to be a princess any longer. I would have to convince the entirety of Equestria that I am a qualified candidate to take her place.”
“And that shouldn’t be too hard,” Twilight said. “The news certainly seems to be on your side. And besides, I’m sure Celestia’s filled you in on all the changes that have come to Equestria since you’ve been gone.”
Luna’s attention turned to the burning fire. “Actually, I had to fill many of the gaps in myself. Our schedules have made things keeping a sisterly relationship rather complex. The last time we spoke directly was over a year ago, when we were first returning to Canterlot…
---
Luna stared out at the passing Equestria, her eyes savoring every sight. The majestic green hills of Equestria rolled and pitched at every step, while the fertile farmlands of the numerous Earth pony communities looked more vibrant than anything she had seen in her time. In the skies above, scores of pegasi flew from cloud to cloud, making formations that would shame the finest Pegasus Force units. And in the distance, she could see mighty Canterlot, still standing after all these centuries, as if it had waited for its missing master all this time.
Celestia watched the small pony’s ecstatic face with no small amount of joy. She had ordered her guards to take the scenic route back home, both to allow Luna to take in some of Equestria’s newest wonders, and because it gave her more time to spend alone with her long-lost sister.
Yet again, the older sister leaned over and nuzzled the prodigal pony’s cheek. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Luna giggled. Her sister’s coat was just as ticklish as ever. “I know. You have said that every five minutes.”
Celestia’s laugh sounded like warm music to the smaller alicorn’s ears. She could only suppress another laugh as the older sister nuzzled the back of her head. “Well, it’s true. Canterlot has been so lonely without you, and I could never make the nights as beautiful as you could. You should see the complaints I get from the Astronomy Guild.”
Luna smiled. She could remember the one time she had allowed Celestia to make a constellation. It had ended with the Ursas invading Equestria, and required more than five years to clean up. “Yes, I figured.”
Luna turned her attention away from the passing countryside to her precious older sister. “Celestia, I noticed something back in the village.”
“Hmm?”
Luna shook her head in confusion. “When you were speaking to the citizens, your mannerisms were all wrong.”
Celestia raised an eye at this. “What do you mean? I was just behaving like usual.”
“But you did not use the Royal Canterlot Voice!” Lune exclaimed. Celestia was taken aback by the look of sheer worry in her face. “And there was no ‘Royal We’ anywhere in your speech! And did you truly use ‘you’ when speaking to your subjects?! Such a word should only be used when speaking between the two of us!”
Princess Celestia took a few steps back, looking behind herself to make sure she didn’t hop out of the carriage by mistake. “Luna, it’s been a thousand years. Things have changed since then. The way you and I both must speak and behave is far less rigid and authoritative than in the past. We can’t just scream at everypony and expect them to like it anymore.”
Even as the words left Celestia’s mouth, Luna’s desperation grew. The reality of her long exile was beginning to finally hit home. “And our palace! Our old home was in ruins! An-And those buildings! When did ponies stop using thatched roofs? How far spread is Equestria now? Why are there towns and villages where there were none? How many ponies are there?”
The older princess could feel her gut turning. All the joy and victorious glee she had been feeling only moments before evaporated as she realized the full scope of the situation. She had hoped that, even as Nightmare Moon, her sister had been able to see at least some of the changes that had occurred over the millennium. At least that would have spared her some of the more complex changes that had occurred. Now her sister was on the verge of tears again.
Celestia reacted the only way she could. She reached out her forelegs and pulled Luna in tightly, hugging her like a foal would a stuffed toy. Luna’s body briefly went rigid at the touch, before relaxing into a slouch. “Luna…I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I should never have banished you.”
“No,” Luna muttered from Celestia’s chest. “You had to think of our ponies, our country, and our world. I would have destroyed it all because of a moment of weakness. I…I understand why.”
“It’s in the past,” Celestia sighed. “And don’t worry. Most of the world has changed for the better. I’m sure when we get back to Canterlot, you will see that things will change for the better.”
---
“She was right for a little while,” Luna finished. “When we first arrived, everypony was so eager to know who I was, where I came from, and why Celestia never mentioned she had a sister. But then things started to fall apart. My sister gave me a nightly court I could rule over, and many of the ponies that attended were quite respectful and reasonable, but we almost never saw each other after that. Even worse, it was our job to ensure that whatever it was that Celestia proposed wouldn’t end up destroying Equestria. And she had proposed some strange things.”
“Such as?” Twilight asked.
Luna opened her mouth to give an example, most likely the one that would require everpony to wear clothes at all times, but then decided it was not in her best interest to speak about that at this time. “It does not matter. The point is, I had to work just as hard as my sister, but who got the praise when things went well? She did. It was like everypony thought she ran the entire country by herself. And whenever I tried to confront her about it, she would just give me the same hollow reassurance that ponies would someday come to appreciate me. That’s all I wanted. Just to be as liked and respected as Celestia.”
The princess slouched onto her haunches in defeat. “But I don’t deserve it. She really is better than me at everything. All I can do is shout at everything and beat fillies when they call me names. And the saddest thing is, nopony will ever care that she can be a horrible pony sometimes.” She glanced back to Twilight. “Even you would take her side with this.”
Twilight took a few steps towards the princess. “Actually, I’m with you on this one.”
Luna’s head spun around so fast her neck almost snapped. “What? B-But you’re her prized student!”
“But I know what it’s like to have somepony you care about run away,” Twilight said. “A while ago, Spike got jealous of my pet Owloysius.”
Luna cocked her head. “Owlo-what?”
“I know, it’s a long name,” Twilight sighed. “Spike thought that I was trying to replace him, and after I yelled at him over an accident, he tried to frame Owloysius for killing a mouse. I caught him just as he was pouring ketchup onto a cat toy, and…I said some things I probably shouldn’t have. When I came back to the library a few hours later, Spike was gone. He had run away because he thought I didn’t love him anymore.”
Luna wiped a foreleg across her eyes. “I…I don’t see what this has to do with Celestia and I.”
Twilight walked up next to the princess. Their two eyes met in a moment of understanding. “After I found he had gone missing, I was so angry with Spike for running like that. I couldn’t stand the thought of him out there alone, scared and hungry. He is just a baby dragon, after all. But when we found him, I realized I was really upset with myself. Unintentionally or not, I had implied that I was abandoning him for somepony better. In a way, it was both our faults that it happened.”
Luna rolled her eyes away. “See? You really do blame me for what happened.”
Twilight shook her head. “Yes and no. Both you and Celestia have to share the blame for what happened. You may have turned her into a filly, but that was because she was being mean to you to begin with. She snuck out of the castle, but it was because you didn’t allow her any freedom. The two of you have been getting on each other’s nerves the entire time. It just happened to spill over this time. That doesn’t mean it’ll be the end of your time as sisters. And before you can get anywhere, the two of you have to talk to each other.”
With a heavy moan, Luna stepped away from Twilight. Her eyes instead locked onto a small rack of scrolls buried in the far side of the study. As her mind digested Twilight’s lecture, one thing became clear: she is absolutely right.
“I will…need some time to prepare,” Luna said. “It’s time we settled things between us once and for all.”
“Whatever you need, I’ll try to help,” Twilight said.
“Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. You truly deserve to be my sister’s prized pupil.” Luna levitated over some old parchments, being ever-so-careful not to damage them. “And Twilight? May I ask you one more question?”
Twilight smiled as she walked over. “Of course.”
“I-If worst comes to worst, and my sister does decide to remove me, please…make sure she stays well.”
Twilight was silent for a few seconds. Luna sounded utterly defeated, as if Celestia would never agree to any other course of action. Nonetheless, she had no choice but to nod in agreement. “I promise.”
Luna flashed her replacement the quickest of smiles before returning to her work…
----------
Pinkie moved to open her mouth, but paused in mid-gape as something clicked in the back of her mind. She’s convinced being a filly is better than being a grown-up. The poor little girl hasn’t figured out not everything about being a kid is sunshine and lollipops. Man, we need some sunshine and lollipops down here, stat.
She gulped. Her thoughts took on a far more menacing tone, sounding like they were voiced by an entirely different Pinkie and not matching the actual speed at which she was thinking. I have to unleash the most forbidden of lectures, the same ones taught to me by my Sensei Daddy Pie so many years ago! It is an ancient art, passed down from Pie to Pie in a desperate attempt to ward off our ancestor’s corrupting influence. I had sworn to myself to never use it, but I have no choice. I have to break Celestia out of this vicious cycle of pain. I must use…THE ANTI-SMILE EQUATION!
Pinkie took a few steps back. Her lips trembled nervously as she prepared the words she would have to say. Celestia took no notice of this, instead content to continue pouting and hoping the problem would resolve itself. “You know what? You’re right. Who needs to be a stinky old adult anyway?”
Celestia’s head sprang up. “Huh?”
“Oh sure, your sister is gonna miss having a big sister, but what good has she done for you, huh?” Pinkie blew a raspberry. “Not a thing, that’s what!”
Celestia turned around, her mouth hanging open in shock. “Pinkie Pie, what are you saying?”
Pinkie gave another dismissive wave of her hoof. “I’m sure she can run Equestria much better than you can. After all, she was only gone for a thousand years. I’m sure the politics of Equestria haven’t changed that much since then. Maybe we can all go back to living in mud huts and scavenging for wild turnips!”
The princess walked forward a few steps, eyeing Pinkie with increased wariness. “Miss Pie, is something wrong? I’m sure Luna’s not going to set us that far back.”
“And let’s not forget your new friends!” Pinkie continued. Her confidence grew as Celestia’s own expression began to fall apart. “That little foal you’ve been hanging out with is probably a great kid! I’m sure you’ll have all sorts of epic adventures together. And Twilight will be a great mother to you. She can teach you all about magic and books and…magic books, and who knows? You might even get to be friends with their kids!”
Celestia could feel a few drops falling from her eyes. “Pinkie…stop…”
Pinkie could see the child breaking down, and every part of her wished to stop and comfort Celestia. But the process couldn’t be halted. She had to finish the Equation. “Because you’ll live a lot longer than them, you know? They’ll be old and grey and you’ll still be a little filly! And then you’ll have to find somepony else to live with, but I’m sure you can figure that out. And meanwhile, everypony is going to forget who you are and that you ever ruled Equestria, and Princess Luna will get all the praise, and you’ll be able to live as a cute little foal somewhere deep within Equestria!”
Celestia reared up and punched her forehooves against Pinkie’s chest repeatedly. “PLEASE STOP!”
Pinkie looked down at the filly, her blows barely managing so much as a tickle. “Aw, what’s wrong? I was just telling you how awesome your life’s gonna be from now on!”
“Well, you’re wrong!” Celestia whined. She stopped pounding on pony in front of her, instead, choosing to bash her hooves against the cave floor. “I’m gonna have a chance to live like a normal pony for once!”
“But you’re not a normal pony, silly,” Pinkie said. “Normal ponies don’t have both wings and a horn. Normal ponies don’t live for thousands of years. Normal ponies can’t raise the sun and moon by themselves. Oh, you’re not a normal pony at all. You’re a very special pony, and nothing you ever, ever, ever do is going to change that.”
Celestia stopped breathing. Her heartbeat slowed to a painful crawl as her brain almost froze over in horror. Everything Twilight’s friend had said was true, and it terrified her to admit it. She managed to belt out one final scream.
“N-N-NOOOOOOOO!”
Then she collapsed into Pinkie, now reduced to a sobbing wreck of a pony.
Pinkie wrapped her forelegs around the crying filly, pulling her in as tightly as she could. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you cry. I’m supposed to make ponies smile, not frown. But it’s the truth.”
“I know!” Celestia muttered between hics and sobs. “I knew the whole time this thing wouldn’t work out but I went ahead with it anyway and now I’ve lost the only friend I’ve got in the whole wide world and I’m going to grow up alone and everypony hates me and I-“
“Um…I think you should start over,” said Pinkie. She spun her head around and reached behind her body, pulling a handkerchief out of nowhere. “Here, you can use this.”
Celestia shakily took the hanky in her hooves. “Th-Thank you.” She took a big gulp of air and blew into the fabric, her nose trumpeting an echo that rocked the whole cavern. When she handed the handkerchief back to Pinkie, it was so covered in holy tears and snot that it practically dripped. Pinkie smiled nervously before throwing the thing back into the mysterious place she had pulled it from.
“Um…glad to have…helped?” Pinkie said nervously.
“I can’t believe myself!” Celestia sobbed. “This stupid body has cost me everything! I-I’m not a filly! I never will be a filly again! I’m an adult, and it’s time I started acting like one!”
“A-Actually, you don’t have to be super-serious all the time,” Pinkie said. She nervously rubbed her crest with one hoof. “I mean…you could take a real vacation from time to time It’s not like Princess Luna can’t keep things running while you’re gone.”
Celestia’s heart froze. Luna…oh no….
She turned up to the pony. “Pinkie, I would like you to escort me to my sister. I…I have to speak to her.”
Pinkie fired off a salute, and with a fiery “Okie-Dokie-Loki!” threw the princess on her back and started down the cavern. Well, after pausing to pick up the rest of the cake. No point letting a perfectly good dessert go to waste.
----------
Rarity was halfway through with yet another dress when she heard a small knock on the door. “Cooo~ming!”
The unicorn trotted up to the entrance and willed the door open with her telekinesis, revealing the small, waiting form of Sweetie Belle. “Hi Rarity! How was Canterlot?”
Rarity sighed. “It certainly wasn’t all I was expecting. But still, we got to visit with Twilight and the princesses.”
Sweetie Belle cocked an eyebrow as she entered the workroom. “Princesses? I thought there was only one right now.”
Rarity gulped as she realized her slip of the tongue. “Well...Oops, silly me! I guess I’ve been working too hard!” The pony cleared her throat and returned to her sewing machine, feeding the fabric through while working the components with her own magical talents. “Still, things are going quite nicely over there. I really should think about some gowns for Princess Luna. Matching her coat color will be difficult, but I do love a challenge.”
“Sounds great!” Sweetie said, her voice cracking on the last word. “And how about the tax extension?”
The fabric twisted about ninety degrees to the left. “T-Tax extension?”
Sweetie shrugged. “You know, the reason you went?”
The fashionista made some small gurgling noises as she realized her tremendous oversight. “C-Call Applejack! Rainbow Dash! Fluttershy! EVERYPONY! We have to go back now! The financial future of our lives depends on it!”
----------
The two alicorns stared at each other in near silence. Only the sound of their breathing broke the tense atmosphere filling the chamber. Twilight and Pinkie, seeing a potential disaster this could be, started to backpedal out of the room. “Well, I guess we’ll leave you two princesses alone then. I’m sure you two can work things out.”
“And I’d better see hugging when I get back!” Pinkie warned jokingly.
The two non-royal ponies slowly closed the doors behind them. That left two ponies sitting alone in a study, with the crackling from the fireplace as the only sound either could hear. That, and their own pounding hearts. Neither dared to make a move for quite a while, or even to look each other in the eye.
Finally, Luna rubbed her front fetlocks together, batting an eye at nothing in particular. “So…this is wonderful weather we are having.”
Celestia bobbed her head along. Her own anxiety was more than a match for her sister’s. “Oh yes. It is a tad chilly, though.”
“I noticed that as well. I think we are allowing too much of a breeze to sweep in from the Northlands. We might want to confer with the Pegasus Counsel on that.”
“Still, it is a lovely day. Maybe once things are not so busy, we could take a hike in Whitetail Wood. I hear it’s lovely this time of year.”
“That’s right near Ponyville, correct? I have been meaning to make another trip there. I mean, besides my promised one next Nightmare Night.”
“Oh, you really should. There’s this little sweet shop called Sugar Cube Corner, just off the main street? The cupcakes there are like heavenly bliss melted into dough!”
The two let out a nervous, forced laugh before returning to sighing and looking away from each other. Celestia’s hooves and wings twitched a little as she looked up at the seemingly terrified pony before her, while Luna’s mane lost much of its sparkle as she glanced at her filly of a sister. Neither one dared move; even the very act of blinking felt several times more difficult than it truly was.
The silence was only shattered when Luna cleared her throat. Her voice was labored, while her choice of words was far more careful than before. “Twilight Sparkle has informed me about your earlier conversation with her, and that you do not wish to return to the throne.”
Celestia gulped. She knew where this was going to be headed, and she feared for her other cheek. “Y-Yes, I did say that. However…”
“Hold,” Luna said sternly. She levitated over a small pile of ancient documents, no doubt dating back to when the sisters had overthrown Discord. “I have been looking over the legality of your wishes, and there is nothing to bar you from abdicating the throne. You will have to forfeit your title of ‘Princess,’ and under the law will lose all the rights granted to a member of the royal household. All such powers and responsibilities will be granted to me as the next in line.”
Celestia sighed. “Luna…”
“However, the law is so ancient that it can hardly be applicable to this modern age.”
The filly alicorn’s eyes popped open. That was hardly what she had expected her sister to say, at this moment or in any situation ever. “Huh?”
The old documents floated aside, landing softly in a neat stack on the nearby desk. In their place came another pile of parchments, this time looking like something she had pulled from the Royal Stationary Cabinet an hour ago. “I have prepared some amendments to the current laws regarding these matters. While your title and royal duties will be forfeit, you will not have to give up all rights as a member of this family.”
“Wh-What do you mean?” Celestia asked.
“Because the cure is now available, how we proceed is at your discretion.” Luna flipped through a few of the pages, stopping at a small list of options now applicable to this situation. She cleared her throat, adopting a far more business-oriented tone. “If you wish to return to your adult form, I have the full power to grant you with an allowance, land, housing, or anything else you will require. If you wish to return to more limited duties, I can also grant you any title you wish, and you shall be given the same respect and responsibilities owed to your position. I would only ask that you continue to control the sun’s orbit. The continued rotation of our celestial bodies predates our royal offices by thousands of years, and thus does not fall under the duties expected as outlined in Equestria’s Constitution.”
The moon princess then flipped to the next page, detailing an alternative proposal. “If you do not wish to be cured, we can instead ensure you have an excellent environment to grow up in. I will not throw you into an orphanage, nor will I force you to leave the castle if you do not wish to. You can choose who you wish to have as a parent, where you would like to be educated, or even what matter of employment you would like to attempt upon adulthood. Again, however, we would ask that you resume controlling the sun once your ability to use magic returns.”
Luna floated the paperwork aside, and for the first time since the incident managed to look Celestia straight in the eyes. “It is your decision to make, sister.”
Celestia stared up at Luna in astonishment. “You cannot expect me to believe that you want me to leave, can you?”
There was no anger in Luna’s head shake, only a resigned grief. “I do not. Ruling these last few days has been more draining than I had thought possible. But that is my punishment for what I did to you. I will shoulder whatever burden is needed to keep Equestria safe. What you do with your life is up to you.”
The princess shied away from her sister. “I…I have treated you terribly these last few days. I was so worked up over what might go wrong or how you had hurt me that I forgot how much I really do care for you. We may have had our disagreements over the millennia, but you were never truly malicious, or cruel, or terrible in what you did. You are one of the bravest, wisest ponies I know, and I do not wish to lose that. But if I have really been such a terrible sister, then it is what I deserve.”
Celestia took a step forward. “Luna…”
“And if you wish to banish me again, then it is what I deserve as well.”
Now Celestia was confused. “Wh-WHAT?!”
“A thousand years ago, I tried to kill you and destroy Equestria. Thanks to your actions and the Elements of Harmony, our country was safe. But…if I really am uncontrollable, if I really will pose a danger to our subjects, then there’s no choice. All I ask is that you at least reassume your adulthood. That way, our ponies will not have to suffer because of my foalishness.”
Having said her piece, Luna laid herself upon the ground, her face leveling with Celestia’s. She closed her eyes, readying herself for whatever terrible fate her vengeful sister would have in store for her.
Celestia was dumbstruck by what she had just heard. The possibilities her sister had laid out were tempting to say the least. Being able to experience the modern world as a non-princess was something she had dreamed of for so long, ever since she had first trapped herself inside this gilded cage of a job. Just being outside for a few hours was enough to awaken her to the vast opportunities laying out there, just waiting for the princess to seize them between her hooves.
And yet…
“I…I don’t want to banish you.”
Luna’s eyes slowly opened, as if she was having trouble deciding whether or not this was just some strange dream she was having. “Y-You sounded so sure before…”
“Did you really believe I would ever do such a thing again?” Celestia said. She let out a mournful sigh and walked past her sister, stopping at the table where Luna had set down her own plans for the two. One quick hop later, she was seated in the comfy chair, her back turned to her sister. “I never meant to banish you, nor did I wish it. Those thousand years you were gone were the most horrible years of my existence. And it wasn’t because I had to manage both day and night by myself. It only took a decade or two before I had everything under control. No, it was because you weren’t there.”
Celestia buried her face in her hooves. “You were the only pony I could confide in, the only one that actually saw me as I really was. Once you were gone, I lost a piece of myself. I became more isolated, more cold, and perhaps even a little tyrannical for a while. The only thing I cared about was finding a way to bring you back. And look where that got us.”
Luna quietly took a seat next to her sister, stretching out one leg until their hooves touched. “It is all right. I do not blame you for what happened. It may have hurt, but…you had to make sure our country survived.”
All Luna’s reassurances accomplished was making Celestia feel worse. “A-And then, I snatched up a colt just so I could pull off some stupid scheme. I twisted his mind, broken his spirit, and then let him run rampant over Equestria! And when I finally got off my lazy flank to deal with him, what did I do?” She sobbed a few times. “I killed him! I snapped his neck like a celery stalk!”
Luna reached over her other forehoof. “Once again, you should not blame yourself. You made mistakes with Kuchen, but his actions were his alone. Remember, we may be more powerful than the average princess, but we are not all-knowing. We cannot possibly fix every single problem that will ever pop up in Equestria. We just have to do the best we can and hope that everything works out sometimes.”
Celestia looked up towards her sister. “Since when did you become so good at lecturing?”
Luna smiled. “Well, I have been living with the best teacher since before even the first dragons existed. I may have picked up a tidbit or two during that time.”
Celestia smiled, but the aura of sadness did not fade away. “Thank you, but I have to face reality. I have been shouldering the burdens of this country for far too long. I just don’t think I have the strength to keep it up anymore.” She turned towards the roaring fire, her eyes just barely catching that poor forlorn orange book cover smoldering in the flames. “To be honest, there were days I really just wanted to walk away from it all, maybe give that democracy thing a try again, and head off to wander the world again. I have so wished to see the savannahs and volcanoes we helped forge again, but then it turns out a princess setting foot on another nation’s land is cause for an ‘International Incident.’”
Luna rose from her seat and walked between her sister and the fireplace, both to make herself seem more intimidating by the firelight, and also to stop Celestia in case she decided to take a headlong dive into the inferno. “Do you hate being a princess this much?”
Celestia took pause briefly before letting out a mournful sigh. “It’s not that I hate being princess. I love watching our ponies grow in safety and comfort. I have dedicated much of my life to ensuring the continued prosperity of our fair land. But if I really am such a terrible ruler like the papers say, then I do not deserve to remain in power.”
Luna took a seat next to the filly. “Celestia…do you remember the Zebra-Griffon Peace Treaty?” Celestia nodded. “Who was it that spent twenty years travelling back and forth between the two nations, trying to stop a centuries-old cold war, and all because it was the right thing to do? And best of all, who actually ended the hostilities and saved both nations from a blood, pointless war?”
Celestia’s frown deepened. “Th-That has nothing to do with...”
“And who was it that single-hoofedly marched into a dragon’s cave and rescued over a dozen ponies before they could be turned into dinner?”
“B-But that doesn’t…”
“And how about this?” Luna floated over a large, rolled-up parchment and unfurled it upon the table, revealing a large map of modern Equestria and its closest neighbors. Luna circled her hoof over a small patch of land constituting Canterlot and some of the surrounding regions. “When we first became princesses, our land was this small. We had almost no viable farmland left, many of the pegasi had vanished from Equestria altogether, and few ponies trusted us enough for anything to be done. We were an easy target for the rest of the region, all of whom blamed us for Discord.”
She then circled a slightly larger area, adding in Cloudsdale, Ponyville, and parts of Trottingham. “A thousand years ago, our country was this large. We were somewhat better off, and had a better chance at growing food, but we were still struggling. Even with the two of us working together, it was nearly impossible to manage Equestria.”
Celestia sniffed. “Oh yes, I remember those days.”
“And now?” Luna motioned a hoof across the entire map. “Our little land has increased exponentially since then. We have more than enough to feed our subjects, there are no more wars, and we have confined most of the monsters to the Everfree Forest where they cannot harm another pony.”
Celestia sighed. “If you’re trying to convince me I’m not a bad princess, you’ll have to do better than that.”
Luna willed her magic to roll the map back up and set it in place. “And how about the Equestrian Public Education System? School is no longer the privilege of the wealthy or lucky, but everypony. There have been only six wars of note in a thousand years, and all of them were won quickly and decisively. Our population has grown in size at a rate neither of us could have dreamed of. Ponies are living longer, happier lives because of things you set into motion. Not me, but you. And just because you made a few mistakes does not mean you have to give up everything.”
Celestia rubbed her eyes as she looked towards her sister. “B-But so many ponies are upset.”
“Then you have to do what I am still doing,” Luna said. “You will have to prove yourself to them, win back their trust. For the first time in our lives, you have an actual challenge. Not from an evil god or a monster, but from your own actions and your own subjects. And if I can win some accolades, I am certain you can do the same. Your ponies love you, sister. Never forget that.”
The storm of emotions building inside Celestia began to calm as Luna’s words sank in. She could recognize them almost immediately; after all, they were the same things she had said to cheer Luna up when ponies began to disregard her work. In fact, Luna seemed quite different as well. Gone was the raging monster that had locked her away and struck her. Instead, she was now sitting before what felt like a grown mare not unlike herself, wise and powerful. She couldn’t help but feel how Luna must have felt for all those millennia, standing before somepony that seemed to know everything.
“Luna….I….”
The filly could take no more. She leaped onto Luna so hard both ponies went tumbling backwards in a big pile. “I’m so sorry! It’s all my fault! I was being so selfish that I couldn’t think about how much I was hurting you! And…And I’m sorry I called you Nightmare Moon! You’re not a monster, Luna!””
Luna was dumbstruck at first, unable to comprehend her filly sister sitting on her barrel and sobbing. When her actual sense of consciousness returned, she wrapped her forelegs around the filly, curling her wings so they formed an additional barrier. “No, it is I who should be apologizing. I should have tried speaking to you before doing something like this. And I am sorry I slapped you. I promise, I will never do something like that again.”
Celestia looked up from her sister’s chest. “You know what? We both messed up. But that’s going to change from now on.”
“A-Are you still going to abdicate?” Luna asked hesitantly.
The filly shook her head. “No. I’ve learned my lesson. I’m going to be an even better ruler from this day forth. And with you by my side, I know we can make Equestria an even greater place for all our…ponies…”
Celestia’s face fell into a deep depression. Luna recognized it almost immediately. “What’s wrong?”
“Lofty,” Celestia muttered. “I…I have to talk to her. She deserves to know I’m not going to be like this anymore. W-We can’t turn me back yet. Not until morning, at least.”
Luna sighed and rolled over, causing Celestia to hop off to avoid being crushed. “Very well. Miss Dream returns to work tomorrow. We shall speak to her then.” She rose to her hooves and stretched. “Still, this nightmare is almost at an end. I cannot wait for the day I call you a big sister again.”
“Yeah,” Celestia sighed.
Luna noticed her hesitation. She leaned in worriedly. “What’s wrong?”
“Well…there was just so much I wanted to do,” Celestia said. She kicked at the floor with one leg. “I never got to have a sleepover, or have a real birthday party, or even get a coltfriend…”
Luna raised a hoof in protest. “I would not allow it in any case. You are five thousand years too young for one of those right now.”
Celestia barely suppressed a laugh. “Aw yes, of course. But the thing I really wanted to do…was spend some time with you.”
Luna face fell. “I beg your pardon?”
“I…I never really got to play with you ever,” Celestia sighed. “Things were too dangerous when you were young, and by the time you could take care of yourself other circumstances came about. I just thought it would be fun to do something together, while we still could.”
Luna was very quiet while her mind worked through her schedule. The entire thing was full, down to her oncoming night court. Then it hit her. “You know, we were not planning to do much tonight. The nobles can look over the upcoming tax tables by themselves an extra night. That should leave the night free.”
Celestia’s pupils widened with joy. “You mean…”
Luna leaned in closer and nuzzled her sister on the cheek. “Yes. We are going to celebrate your last night as a filly. Come, we have so much to do.”
The two quickly trotted up to the door, pushing it open right into the muzzles of the eavesdropping Twilight and Pinkie. Neither even seemed to notice until Twilight tapped Celestia, the unicorn’s nose still throbbing with pain. “Well? How’d it go?”
“I believe things will be calming down between us,” Luna said. Twilight was shocked to see the night princess smiling, and not the wry grin she often carried, but rather a full-toothed smile as wide as a mile.
“Luna has agreed to one more night like this,” Celestia said. “The cure can wait until tomorrow.”
Twilight and Pinkie looked at each other, victory written all over their faces. They then turned back to the waiting princesses. “Well, you guys have fun!” said Pinkie. “I’m gonna turn in early. I gotta coordinate with my party committee on what kind of party to throw you tomorrow. Have a good night!” And with that, Pinkie dashed off into the night.
Luna and Celestia looked at the vanishing dust cloud in confusion. “D-Did she say she had a committee?” Luna asked.
Twilight shrugged. “It’s a long story. But I should probably get some sleep, too.”
“Actually, Twilight?” said Celestia. “There’s something you might want to consider doing.”
Twilight raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Really?”
“This will probably be your last night in Canterlot for a while,” Celestia said. “I think there are two ponies that you really should consider visiting. It has been quite a while since they saw head or tail of you.”
The unicorn was quiet at first, not quite realizing what Celestia had just said. When it dawned on her, however, she felt more than a little guilty that she had not thought of it first. “Y-You’re right. I really should give them a visit.”
“You’re very lucky to have them,” Celestia said. She turned to the waiting Luna. “Well, shall we?”
“Yes!” Luna’s outburst shook the entire hall, rattling portraits and cracking windows. Embarrassed, the princess covered her mouth for a few moments before continuing. “I mean, yes. The fun will not wait for us, after all!”
The two took off galloping down the halls, startling more than a few other ponies in the process. Both seemed so happy, so full of love for each other, that it would have hardly seemed they had been fighting at all. And if anything positive could have come out of this nightmare, this was it.
For the first time in over a thousand years, Celestia and Luna were more than sisters.
They were friends.
----------
It took all of Twilight’s confidence to knock on the door. It took even more to avoid running away when the home's occupant, a white unicorn with a striped purple-and-white mane, answered. “Hello? Can I help- TWILIGHT?”
The house’s other occupant, a purple stallion, came galloping to the entryway at the name. “Honey, is that you?”
Twilight waved nervously at the couple. “H-Hello, mom. Hello, dad. C-Can I come in?”
----------
Blueblood eyed the pictures with renewed confidence in his scheme. When his spies had snuck the photos in with the afternoon mail, he had expected the worst. But not only were they not found by the guards locking him inside his own home, but they were the proof he needed to bring down not only Celestia, but Luna as well.
Tomorrow morning, victory would be his.
TO BE CONTINUED…
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Sixteen
The first rays of the morning dawn traced their way through the window and down to Celestia’s eyes, and for the first time in her long life, the sun dared to offend her. Like a university student crawling out of a local watering hole at 5:00 AM, the filly stretched and yawned. Her bloodshot eyes eventually adjusted just enough to the harsh light to make out where she saw.
It was definitely her bedroom. The walls, the floor, and the bed she laid upon were testament to that. Nonetheless, there was something definitely off. It might have had something to do with the very loud snores coming from right next to her. And then there were was the peculiar sensation of feathers running down the length of her body.
The filly slowly pulled herself forward, every nerve in her body seeming to rebel against her movement, and rolled onto the floor. When she finally recovered enough to look back up, she saw the source of the offending feathers and deafening snorts. Princess Luna was still passed out on the bedspread, with only a few flickers of light from her horn left to reveal who had moved the sun this morning. Celestia smiled and rapped her hooves against each other. Only on the job three days and she’s already moving the sun in her sleep. Oh, they just grow up so fast these days…
The snoring came to a crashing cacophony as life returned to Luna. The mare slowly opened her eyes and rolled onto her barrel before pushing herself back up. She stretched as her legs reached out onto the floor, her lips smacking in a way that would send more fashionable princesses scurrying from this apparent imposter. Her eyes eventually found their way to the smiling Celestia. “Oh…hello, sister.”
Celestia giggled as Luna let out a loud yawn. Her sister had never been a morning pony, but in the intervening years since Celestia had forced her filly of a sister to sleep at night, the elder had forgotten just how bad she really was. Her mane was an absolute disaster, her wings almost appeared to be molting, and her eyes were bloodshot and sagging. “My goodness, you need some caffeine,” the filly joked.
Luna ignored her sister’s joke as she climbed out of the bed, stretching her limbs and wings as she did so. She stifled another yawn as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “I…I have not slept like that in days.”
“It wears you out, doesn’t it?” Celestia said. “At least this is your last day.”
Luna sighed. “Yes…Yes, it is.”
Luna’s eyes finally adjusted enough to pick up something rather…off about Celestia’s appearance. Namely, the small clumps of dirt and debris currently nestled within her sister’s mane and tail. The night mare’s own coat was an unkempt mess as well, with mud splotches and grass stains covering about half of her body. “I suppose we should be getting cleaned up. This is your last day as a filly, after all.”
Celestia sighed. “Yes…Yes it is.”
----------
Lofty looked up from behind the tilted cereal box. “Are you sure Princess Celestia is okay?”
Sighing, Ruby slowly lifted the cardboard box until it was in a natural, non-pouring position before setting it back on the small counter. “I told you, she’s probably fine. The guards just took her home, that’s all.” I hope.
“Then why were you so scared last night?” Lofty asked between sugar-filled bites.
Ruby raised an eye at this. “What do you mean, ‘scared?’”
Lofty swallowed another bite of her breakfast before continuing. “You know, when you were in bed last night! I could hear you all the way in my room. You were all, ‘I am so dead I am so dead Luna is going to banish me forever and I will never see my daughter again and she will be sold into slavery or as food for Griffons oh I am so dead I am so dead I am-’”
The filly’s dramatic reenactment of her mother’s descent into pure madness came to a crashing halt as a loud knock emerged from the door and echoed throughout the house. The sudden noise startled Ruby so much that she leaped onto her daughter like a cougar, wrapping Lofty in her legs and hugging for dear life. The filly was simultaneously terrified and exhausted by her mother’s incessant panicking, but her tiny strength was not enough to break the older pegasus’ iron grip.
A voice from the other side of the door called out. “Hello? Is there a Miss Ruby Dream here?”
Ruby’s fear-induced bear hug relaxed as her brain picked apart the voice. It was definitely a mare, and lacked any of the intensity of an arresting guard’s. In fact, she sounded downright friendly. Lofty took advantage of the sudden lapse and broke free of her mother’s grasp, hopping back to her seat and resuming her cereal eating.
The grown mare walked over to the door and pulled it open, revealing a very smiley pink Earth pony on the other side. There was no sign of any garrisons or platoons waiting nearby, a fact that calmed the pegasus down even more. “M-May I help you?”
The pink pony raised a hoof to her mouth, loudly cleared her throat, and then unfurled a scroll. The sound of blazing trumpets and cheering crowds came pouring out of nowhere, confusing the feathers out of the bewildered Ruby. “Har yeah, har yeah…” The pony stopped, wiped her eyes, and then started over. “Hear ye, hear ye! By the royal decree of Princess Luna of Equestria, the citizen by the name of Lofty is hereby commanded to accompany her mother, royal employee Ruby Dream, to Canterlot Castle today for reasons that shall not be disclosed at this time due to issues of national security. Both ponies shall be expected in Princess Luna’s office at the normally appointed time, or shall face severe consequences.”
Ruby’s eyes glazed over as the news finally struck home. She was more than a little in trouble now, and even Lofty was being dragged into this mess. Then the pink one smiled and pulled a pair of purple envelopes out of nowhere. “Oh, and don’t forget your party invitations! It’s gonna be a blast! Well, see ya around!”
The pony darted down the street, leaving behind a perfect facsimile in a dust cloud that soon collapsed. “Mom, what was that?” Lofty shouted from the breakfast nook.
Ruby turned back to her daughter, wearing the best smile she could in this situation. Lofty was too busy finishing her cereal to notice. “Oh, it was just…work. Princess Luna wants to see us both, so go wash up and be ready to leave in five minutes.” And take a good look at the house, too. It may be the last time we ever see it.
----------
The guards stationed throughout Blueblood’s estate grumbled in relief as the hour came to change shifts. One after another, the armored ponies wandered in and out of the house, with the ones departing either heading to their next post or home to rest for their next assignment. Half of the ponies at the scene were happy to be gone, and the other half were dismayed to lose their entire day guarding some spoiled prince. At least all the reports had said the prince had not set a hoof outside of his bedroom all morning.
One of the newly-arrived pegasi slowly marched up the stairs to Prince Blueblood’s bedroom, his teeth grinding angrily with each step. Normally, he would have preferred to just fly straight up and avoid stairs altogether; Celestia knows such things are not for a proud pegasus like himself. But alas, Blueblood was one of those Canterlot folks – the kind that thought the world revolved around the unicorns and everypony else was beneath contempt – and had outlawed any flying by the few pegasi that could stand to be near him for more than five seconds.
Fortunately, Blueblood’s door was directly across from the top of the staircase. The guard pounded on the door. “Prince Blueblood?”
No answer.
The pegasi’s guard instincts kicked in within seconds. The pony spun about and bucked the door with his rear legs, sending the whole thing crashing open so hard the top hinge popped out. The guard’s fears were quickly confirmed as she saw the empty bed.
Then he heard the muffled noises coming from the closet. The guard crept to the small door, his wings extended, and slowly pushed it open with one hoof. He recoiled as he saw what was inside.
It was one of the unicorn guards, the one that had been assigned to Blueblood’s bedside to make sure he wasn’t plotting vile schemes in his sleep. His eyes were half-shut, like he had just awoken from a rather abrupt nap. His legs were trussed up with one long piece of rope, and a dirty sock had been taped into his mouth to hide his screams.
One other item happened to be missing, however.
His armor.
----------
Once safely away from the confines of his home, Blueblood broke away from the rest of the guards and retreated down a nearby alleyway. His agents were already waiting for him, this time dressed in the most pompously arrogant outfits they could find. If one didn’t know better, they would have been indistinguishable from actual nobles.
Blueblood shuffled his armor about; he had never quite cared for metal plating, even with his brief tutelage at one of the military academies. Then again, he had only attended because it was tradition for all princes and princesses to be trained in at least some martial art. The dyes his agents had supplied him with were not to his liking either, but at least it would wash out easier than the kind the real guards used. “My thanks for the chloroform. I would have never escaped that prison without it.”
“Think nothing of it,” said the stallion. “Now, what is this plan of yours?”
Bluebood pointed a hoof at both disguised ponies. “I need you two to present our demands to Princess Luna. If she does not comply, show her the copies of the photos you made. I will carry the originals with me into the palace.”
The mare shrugged. “So, we’re just your diversion?”
Blueblood readjusted his helmet. “You are my mouthpiece. I cannot show myself to the princess without being recognized, but to the guards I can just pass myself as a new recruit. All I need you to do is keep her occupied while I find Princess Celestia’s foal. Once I have her in my custody, both Luna and Celestia will be at my mercy.”
The stallion let out a rather disturbed laugh. “And…you don’t plan to…kill the foal, do you?”
Blueblood recoiled in surprise. “What? No, I would never kill a foal! Besides, she is the illegitimate daughter of my aunt. She’s a part of the family, albeit a shameful one, and I will not do anything to harm my own flesh and blood. Physically, at least.” He turned back towards the castle. “I will meet you inside. Remember, do not approach Princess Luna until nine o’clock. I need every minute I can to find the filly.”
The mighty stallion galloped off down the street, his armor clanking noisily as its bounced against his body. Once he was gone, the stallion sighed. “We’re working as foalnappers now?”
“I’m more worried about the stupidity of his plan,” the mare said “Just marching up to the princess and saying, ‘Oh hi! We broke into your room and stole these pictures! Let us burn down a village or we’ll inconvenience you and your sister!’” She sighed. “I sometimes wish I had never gotten involved with this creep. Sabotaging another house is one thing, but this is getting too heavy.”
The stallion nodded sadly. “Well, let’s get this over with, then.”
----------
Star Sparkle and Night Light were already at the breakfast table by the time Twilight dragged herself out of her old bedroom. Night Light was levitating a newspaper in front of his face, his eyes half-buried in the sports page. Star, meanwhile, had pulled the national news page from the bundle and was halfway through an article about a dispute between Manehatten and Las Pegasus over tourism revenue.
Night Light looked up from his paper as Twilight sat at her old spot at the table. “Well, hello sleepy head! About time you woke up!”
Twilight’s head sank down until her chin was resting on the table. Her eyes were bloodshot, and she kept blowing a small tuft of bedmane out of her face. “Ugh…so tired…”
Star looked up from her own paper, looking more than a little concerned at her daughter’s condition. “Have you been taking care of yourself, dear? You look awful.”
“Sorry,” Twilight moaned. It took all of her strength to pull herself back up. “It’s just been a really rough last couple of days. I haven’t had a lot of time to sleep.”
“I can imagine,” said Star, her hoof patting Twilight on the back. “Helping Princess Luna while her sister is away? That has to be one of the greatest things my little Twinkle has done.”
Twilight moaned again. “Can you PLEASE not call me ‘Twinkle?’ I’m not a foal anymore, mom!”
Star and Night both chuckled at Twilight’s protests, causing the unicorn to slink down yet again. Her face came dangerously close to slamming into the French toast sitting in front of her.
French toast…
Her eyes sprang to life, her body shot back up like it had hit a spring, and her horn had magically grabbed a fork even before she had willed it. It was her father’s personal recipe, the one she had fallen in love with as a small filly. She had tried to cook it herself, but every attempt resulted in a fiery kitchen and massive property damage. Even Spike had taken a few shots, and while his attempts were usually less traumatizing, they never came out just right.
Night Light noticed his daughter’s surprise immediately. He folded the newspaper and set it aside, now satisfied that the Canterlot Comets were still in the middle of their worst season since the Open Field fiasco twenty years ago. “Surprised this old stallion could still cook?”
Twilight cut off a chunk of the toast and slammed it into her mouth. The long-forgotten flavors came rushing back in seconds, sending the mare into a nostalgia-driven nirvana. “I…I haven’t had this in so long…”
Star set aside her own page, choosing to hide the column about how Princess Luna was fast becoming more popular among yearlings than her sister. “It has been a while since your last visit. I think it was, what, just after you graduated?”
“And then back to your postgraduate studies,” Night sighed. “We wanted to visit, but we knew how busy you were with Princess Celestia. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that we learned you moved to Ponyville.”
“And that was because your mail kept bouncing back,” Star said with a depressed sigh.
Twilight swallowed her bite in guilt-ridden silence. “I-I’m sorry I never wrote. I was always just so busy that…”
She stopped herself mid-excuse. “No. I wasn’t too busy to just send you a letter. I…I guess I got so caught up in my own world that I forgot where I came from. I never meant to discard you from my life like that.”
Night Light responded to his daughter’s self-pity by giving her a little jab on the shoulder. The lavender unicorn winced in shock and pain as he struck, but quickly cooled down when she saw the smile on his face. “You are so high-strung, you know that? Your mother and I were just teasing you!”
Star rose from her seat and levitated away the parents’ finished plates. Twilight, meanwhile, continued to pick at her own piece of bread, not wanting to let so much as a single gooey crumb go to waste. The mother floated the dishes into the waiting sink before taking her seat again. “Your father and I are so proud of you, Twilight. I hope you never doubt that for a minute. We would love to hear from you more, but you’re a grown mare now and have to live your own life. You could move as far as Las Pegasus, but you’ll still be our little Twinkle.”
Twilight smiled, her gut now feeling a little better. “Thanks.”
Night Light glanced over at the hanging clock. “Well, I’ve still got a while before work. Tell us some more about this Ponyville of yours.”
The nervousness washed away from Twilight’s mind, only to be replaced with a calming sense of nostalgia and belonging. She launched into almost a dozen stories at once, talking about everything from when she first arrived in Ponyville to the present day. She spoke of her friends at great length, detailing every little thing about each pony all the way down to what brand of hairspray Rarity used. Her parents listened not with false sincerity, but genuine curiosity and wonderment as they got a taste of their daughter’s grand adventures away from Canterlot.
Twilight’s smile beamed as she finished the tale of the last Nightmare Night Festival. This wasn’t home; that would always be Ponyville to her now. But for this brief moment, it was like she had wandered back to her time as a filly, eagerly telling her parents about everything she had experienced that day.
It was a wonderful feeling.
----------
Celestia stared at the mirror in indignation, once again lamenting the horrors that awaited her the next few hours. The harbinger of her doom floated overhead, slowly descending upon her precious scalp. The filly squirmed and twitched from the oncoming pain as the first few fangs pricked the follicles of her mane. And then came the yank.
“AAAAAAAGH!”
Celestia yelped in pain as the hairbrush pulled through her tangled mess of a hairstyle. Above her, Luna was performing a precarious balancing act, using her forehooves to hold Celestia steady and her magic to move the brush through her sister’s hair. “How could you possibly -ugh- get your mane -grah- in such a terrible state?”
“I don’t -AAGH!- know! I’ve never had to -OW!- comb it before! It’s one of the perks that -OUCH!- comes with being the Sun Princess!”
Luna groaned as she pulled through a rather nasty tangle across the back of the rainbow tuft of hair. Celestia’s response was a louder, more severe shout of agony; if she did not know better, she would have sworn that Luna was in the middle of tearing her mane from her scalp completely. “Why are we even doing this?” she whined. “I’ll look normal again once the spell’s broken!”
“But your friend is coming over this morning, and I will not allow my little sister to humiliate the entire royal household by looking like something that just crawled out of a cave,” said Luna.
Celestia rolled her eyes. “We did crawl out of a cave.”
Luna’s response was to nuzzle the side of her sister’s face. The filly’s mood unconsciously lifted as the warmth from her sister’s muzzle spread through her very being. “Oh Celly, I am only making sure my sister looks her best. Once you are back on the throne, you will have to look like the most wondrously beautiful pony in Equestria all day and night. I just want to make sure you get off to the right start.”
Celestia snerked and chuckled. The tangles in her hair were thinning out, and the feeling of a comb running through her unknotted mane was certainly an enjoyable one. Still, while the two were alone, there was still one thing left to discuss. “Luna…I’m sorry for being so mean to you.”
“You do not need to apologize again,” Luna said while batting the back of the mane to the other side of her head.
“But I did so many terrible things to you these last few weeks,” Celestia said sadly. “I knew it was wrong to pick on you, especially after all that’s happened between us, but like a bully I did it anyway.”
Luna ran the comb down another lock. “You have nothing to worry about. We are perfectly even now. I would much rather we not pull anything like this on each other again.”
Celestia spun her head around, her eyes locking with Luna’s. “I agree completely. It’s time we really acted like sisters again and not just co-rulers. In fact, I have a proposal you might find interesting…”
----------
Ruby’s and Lofty’s steps were slow, quiet, and altogether timid. The mother pegasus could feel her dire fate well up around her as they entered Luina’s office, and only the fact that a three-headed alligator had failed to pop from the ceiling and devour them whole calmed her nerves. Lofty, meanwhile, had no real idea what was going on; her only fear was that Luna would ground her for playing with Princess Celestia when she had ran away from home. And a princess outranked a mom; that meant any punishment would be at least doubly, if not triply, harsh.
Luna was already waiting for the two, as was Celestia. Ruby sighed in relief at the sight of the uninjured filly. “G-Good morning, Your Highnesses. M-May I ask why you wanted Lofty to come with me today?”
“We found a cure,” Luna said curtly.
Ruby smiled nervously as the news. “Th-That’s wonderful. But that doesn’t answer my question.”
Celestia slowly walked up to the pegasus filly. “Um…Lofty? D-Do you want to go to my room for a little bit? I wanted to tell you something.”
Lofty blinked a few times before turning back to her mother in confusion. Ruby’s face was still locked in a perpetual frown, but she still managed to catch her daughter’s indecision. “It’s all right, honey. You aren’t in any trouble.”
“Your mother is right,” Luna said. “What Celestia has to tell you is very important.”
“Oh, um, okay,” Lofty said. She turned back to Celestia. “So…your room, right?”
“Just follow me,” Celestia sighed.
The two filled trotted out of the room as quickly as one could blink, their tiny hooves scrapping against the palace floor as they charged towards Celestia’s living quarters. Once they were safely out of earshot, Luna turned her attention back to her terrified attendant. “As for you, Miss Dream, I wish to discuss what occurred yesterday afternoon.”
Ruby’s heart sank. She could feel the horrors of perpetual unemployment threatening to swallow her whole. “I…I didn’t…I mean…”
“I wanted to thank you.”
“Please don’t….” Ruby’s eyes popped open in shock. “I…I’m sorry?”
Luna smiled at her attendant. It wasn’t that of a slasher toying with their victim; rather, it was much like one mother speaking to another. “Were it not for you watching over Celestia, a bad situation might have become even worse. My sister’s judgment has not been at its best during this time, and there is no telling what kind of disasters might have occurred had you not been there to watch over her.”
Ruby was stunned. She had come in expecting to be roasted alive, perhaps even sent to an orbiting celestial body for a thousand years. But to be thanked? “I was only doing what I would have done with any of Lofty’s friends. I was in the middle of telling her to go back home when your guards arrived.”
Luna sighed. “Perhaps they acted a little too hastily, then. In any case, what is done is done, and my sister will soon be back on the throne. Which means…”
Ruby gulped. She knew exactly what fate had in store for her. “I’m being demoted, aren’t I?”
“Not quite.” Luna took a seat at her desk and levitated over a very old, very dusty piece of paper. Ruby leaned over in curiosity, but could not make out the archaic script. “According to the laws we created when we first became princesses, each of us was assigned a specific time of day to rule over as we saw fit. At the same time, we inserted provisions that would allow the other sister to legally fulfill the same obligations and duties in case either one of us fell victim to an illness or injury. It was how Celestia managed to take over my royal duties during the time I was…indisposed.”
Ruby nodded along, not quite getting all the intricacies of the Canterlot political system but just humming enough bars to fake it. “I see. But…how does that affect me?”
“This morning, Princess Celestia came to me with a proposal. Rather than allow me to melt into the background yet again, she is willing to switch positions once in a while.”
Ruby’s jaw dropped. “Switch positions? You mean…”
Luna stood and trotted up to the stunned Ruby. The pegasus shuddered as a hoof fell upon her shoulder. “Every so often, I shall be performing my sister’s duties, while she fulfills my own. Never again will we fully separate the work that goes into ruling Equestria based on an arbitrary time schedule. And besides, it would do my sister some good to see how difficult it is to implement some of her proposals.” Her grip on Ruby tightened, causing the pegasus to wince. “It would do her a lot of good.”
“That’s….nice,” Ruby said, pushing Luna’s hoof off her aching shoulder.
“In any case, I would like to retain your services during these days,” Luna said. “You will still be working in the pool otherwise, so you will not be in danger of losing your job. And you will still get the expanded benefits package, albeit not at the same pay you are at currently. But we can work such things out.”
Ruby was even more stunned than before. Her entire life, she had never imagined something quite like this happening to her. Even when she began working for the palace, she could have never anticipated not only becoming an attendant for the mysterious Princess Luna, but getting to keep her job after her sister changed back from being a filly.
Then again, she had never imagined Princess Celestia ever turning into a filly, but that was neither here or there.
“I…I would love to,” Ruby said with a smile.
Luna smiled back. “Wonderful!” Her face then flipped right into serious mode. “Now, we have a lot of work to finish and only a few hours to do it in. The situation in Fillydelphia is beginning to improve, and it is time we began bringing ponies back in rather than pushing them out. We need to inform every unit we have there that…”
Luna’s epic monologue of epicness stopped at a knocking on her door. The princess sighed. “Yes, what is it?”
“You have some visitors in the throne room, Your Highness,” the guard on the other end responded. “They say it is of the upmost urgency. They also said it was for your ears only.”
Luna moaned. Great, another crisis. What a wonderful way to begin the day. “I will be there in just a minute.” She turned to Ruby. “I shall return soon. In the meantime, look over last night’s scroll deliveries. I am expecting a correspondence from my niece on the repairs in Stalliongrad.”
----------
With a final hug and kiss, Night Light set off to the office, his briefcase firmly clasped in his mouth. Once he had vanished into the distance, Twilight gave her mother one last hug. “Goodbye, mom. I-I’ll write this time. I promise.”
“Goodbye, Twinkle,” Star said with a sniff.
Twilight slowly began to walk away from the house, only to stop dead in her tracks. There was one thing she had to talk about. “Um…mom? While I was in the castle, I found this book…”
“Did it have an orange cover?”
The younger unicorn’s very face seemed to start sliding off of her skull in shock. “Wh-What? You knew about it this whole time?”
“Well, I knew I had smuggled some rather detailed anatomy books into the school at one point,” Star said before chuckling. “The teachers weren’t too happy, though. They had the things locked up right after they caught me in class with one.”
Twilight’s face sagged more. “Y-You took one to class?!”
Star blushed beneath her fur. “Well…it wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve done. Anyway, I didn’t bother to pick them up. I met your father by the time I graduated, and I didn’t need things like that anymore.”
The lavender unicorn could feel her heart stopping. She did not want to think about…THIS. “I..I think I need to lie down for a little while. I’ll see you later, mom,” she said in a complete monotone.
Before Star could say a single word, Twilight was galloping away as quickly as possible, no doubt to scrub her brain clean of any naughty images. The old mare could only laugh at her daughter’s discomfort. “Still as awkward as always. Oh, some things never change.”
----------
The two PIs watched Luna enter the throne room, looking every bit her regal self. The graceful pony sat herself upon her sister’s throne and eyed the two cautiously but warmly. “Good morning. How can I be of assistance?”
The unicorn mare took a step forward. “Your Highness, we have come here to speak of a matter of great importance. We regret to inform you that your sister may have been performing some…indiscretions.”
Luna’s eyes narrowed. “Indiscretions?”
The stallion gulped and took a step forward. “We have proof that Princess Celestia has had a foal outside of wedlock.”
If the princess had been drinking anything, she would have spat it out at that moment. The guards looked about themselves and muttered in confusion. The two informants simply stood there, watching for Luna’s response. “Guards…I need to speak to these two…alone.”
The guards were still stunned by the bombshell, but quickly marched out of the throne room as per their ruler’s orders. Once they were gone, Luna stepped down from her throne and walked right into the faces of the terrified ponies. “I will indulge you only so much longer. Tell me, what is this secret you have discovered?”
The mare bit back her terror, unsank her eyes, and took a few steps back. “Now that we are alone, I suppose we could level with you. We’re here on behalf of Prince Blueblood.”
Luna’s glare only intensified at the sound of her nephew’s name. Her blood boiled at a temperature that could cook an egg, while the other two could feel their own fluids chill until little icicles raced through their veins. “What….does that insignificant waste of oxygen…want?”
“He is giving you one last chance to reverse your position on the Ponyville case, Your Highness,” the stallion stammered. “If you do not, he will release these photos to the general public.”
The stallion reached into his fancy clothes and pulled out a manila envelope. Luna’s telekinesis snatched it before he could transfer the folder from his fetlock to his mouth, popped it open, and floated out its contents. Her jaw dropped as she recognized the pictures. They were the same ones she had taken during the initial prank, before everything had gone horribly wrong. “Wh-How did you get these?”
“Does that matter?” asked the mare with a shrug. “You see, these are only copies. The originals are stashed away so safely even you could never find them. Give Prince Blueblood what he wants, and your sister’s little foal problem will stay our little secret. Don’t, and this will be on the front page of every newspaper in Equestria. It’s your choice, princess.”
Luna bit her lower lip as she processed the dilemma. I cannot give that monster what he wants. Ponyville has done no wrong, and I will not allow it to be destroyed because of a bad dance. But I cannot allow these pictures to get out. Even if nopony ever connects them with me, my sister will still be accused of hiding her own child. Rumors will fly about who the father is, my sister’s reputation will be damaged beyond repair, and for my carelessness, I will be to blame. If only I could…
Then it dawned on her. She set the photos back into the envelope and handed it back to the two, who took the holder in surprise. “Once again, how did you get these?”
The stallion smirked. They could smell that the conversation was turning to their advantage. “As if we would tell you.”
“Well, it strikes me that the papers will ask you much the same question,” Luna mused. “I am certain that the photographer who managed to capture such wonderfully pristine shots will be handsomely rewarded.”
The mare shook her head at the obvious scheme. “Oh please, do you expect us to fall for that?”
Luna shook her head, laughing all the way. “No, of course not. I just thought I should also tell you what would happen to that poor pony.”
The mare and stallion looked at each other in confusion. “Huh?” asked the stallion.
Luna paced around the room, pausing occasionally at the stained glass windows as if to heighten the drama. It was obviously working, as the two ponies could feel that tingling of fear building up inside them yet again. “You see, in order to get pictures like that, they would have had to have broken into Canterlot Castle. As you can imagine, illegally entering royal property, and especially that of the Royal Pony Sisters, is one of the highest crimes in all of Equestria. Oh yes, that poor pony would be facing many, many years in the dungeon.”
“B-But we didn’t take them!” the stallion stammered.
Luna continued to pace, never breaking her casual gait for even a moment. “But then there’s the foalish ponies that try to use these photos to intimidate their beloved princess. Trespassing is a serious enough crime, but conspiracy against the crown? Tsk tsk. Back a thousand years ago, that was the only crime in Equestria worthy of a death sentence. We had plenty of assassins, thieves, cutthroats, and petty nobles trying to strike blows against my sister and I, and all of them found themselves at the wrong end of a noose. Princess Celestia forbade such a penalty in favor of banishment a thousand years before the last Summer Sun Celebration, but I would not hesitate to bring it back if anypony was enough of a fool to try and hurt her in any way.”
The two could feel their resolve beginning to seep away. Nothing they had ever done had prepared them for a literal death threat from the second most powerful pony in the land. “M-My partner and I…would…like to…” the mare muttered.
Luna froze in the middle of the throne room, her eyes locking on the two. “Well? Do you have something you need to confess?”
The stallion could take no more. With a mighty leap, he threw himself at Luna’s hooves and began to kiss them for mercy. “Oh please please please! We admit it! Prince Blueblood hired us to spy on you! We broke into your party! We broke into the palace! We stole those pictures from your room! And he made us come up here and blackmail you! J-JUST DON’T KILL US!”
The mare facehoofed herself at her partner’s total meltdown. Even Luna felt like joining in, but her work was not yet done. There was one more thing she needed to do. “So, are you ready to make a deal?”
----------
Twilight was more than a little surprised to see a small group massing at the palace gates. “But you have to let us in!” said a familiar voice.
“Sorry, no admittance without an appointment,” the guard responded.
“But we’ve come so far,” said a yellow pony speaking in a soft tone.
The guard’s gaze was unbroken. “I am sorry, but the law is the law. You cannot enter the premises without an appointment or an invitation. Princess Luna’s time is very valuable, and…”
Twilight’s mouth almost popped open as she saw who the ponies trying to get in where. It was her friends, the same ones she had seen back to Ponyville only two days before. Her trot broke into a gallop as she approached the waiting crowd, who turned about at the sound of her hooves striking against the Canterlot streets. And as per Ponyville tradition, everypony immediately broke into a group hug, complete with cheers, well-wishes, and thanks for making it at such an important time.
One of the guards raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Miss Sparkle, are these ponies with you?”
Twilight broke free from the crowd, save for a purple baby dragon now affixed to her back, and smiled at the guard. “Why, yes. I invited them here so we could wish Princess Celestia well on her return.”
Applejack turned to Twilight. “Really? First time Ah heard-” The workhorse stopped as Twilight gave her a glare that could set the whole Everfree Forest on fire. “A-Ah mean, YES! We’all are here ta see that…that Princess Celestia is happy as a worm in an apple core ta be back!”
The guard’s mood lightened as he heard the excuse. “Well, if that’s the case, they’re more than the welcome.” The two stepped aside, allowing the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony (sans Laughter) to enter Canterlot Castle.
Once they were FAR out of reach of the front guards, Rainbow Dash hovered up to Twilight’s ear, her wings beating at a relatively relaxed pace for the blue pegasus. “So what do you mean by Celestia coming back?”
Twilight smiled smugly. “Yesterday, Pinkie and I put our heads together and figured out this whole magic mess. And today, Princess Celestia is going to be officially cured!”
A cheer broke out amongst the ponies. Spike hugged Twilight from behind her neck for a few seconds before returning to his normal riding position. “I knew the smartest unicorn ever could figure this out!”
Twilight chuckled. “Well, I couldn’t have done it without you guys.”
“Say, where is Pinkie?” Rarity asked. “I would have imagined she would be the first one here to greet us.”
“Oh, she’s probably setting up for the party we’re having after the spell’s broken,” Twilight said. “Knowing her, it’s going to be one of the grandest events in Equestria ever!” Her smile fell just a bit. “And why are all of you back in Canterlot? I thought you had a lot of important tasks back in Ponyville.”
“Well, um, we kind of forgot the reason we came last time,” Fluttershy squeaked.
“In all the commotion with the princesses, we forgot to ask Princess Luna for a tax extension,” Rarity finished. “It’s vitally important that we get that, or we’ll be in real trouble once the taxpony comes knocking on our door. I could lose my shop!”
“And Ah can lose Sweet Apple Acres!” Aj added.
Twilight was quiet. She had never really paid much attention to tax laws and the like, if only because she never really needed to pay much of anything. Her one attempt at studying the code had left her brain frazzled, and she had never dared to ask Spike in case the same thing happened to him. Still, it was a problem for her friends, and that made it a problem to her. “I wouldn’t worry about it. Princess Celestia and Luna are more than fair. Once this is done, you can all get an extension, and we can all enjoy ourselves a fine Pinkie Pie party!”
The five ponies and one dragon high hoofed/clawed each other with a yelp of self-congratulation.
----------
Lofty may have been quite young, but even she could tell something was very wrong by the time she and Celestia entered the princess’ bedroom. Her new friend was so quiet and looked so uptight that it was almost startling. She was acting more like a stuffy adult than a little foal. “So…what do you want to do?”
Celestia scratched her crest as she tried to find the right words. “Lofty, I…that is, we…I mean…we found a way to turn me back to normal.”
The pegasus filly’s mouth spread into a goofy grin. “Really? You mean you get to be all big and massive and big and stuff?”
“Well, yes, but…”
“And you can fly around and move the sun again?”
“I suppose so, but…”
“And you can show me all the cool stuff a princess does to have fun?!”
Celestia took a few steps away from the filly. Her excitement was only making the awkwardness even worse. “That’s just it. Once I’m a full-grown princess again, I’ll have to go back to my royal duties. That means I can’t hang out with you anymore.”
Lofty was quiet, her grin slowly melting into a sad frown. When she spoke again, the filly was more bewildered than anything else. “What do you mean? I mean, we can still be friends, right?”
The white alicorn grumbled. She had never really considered how exactly to explain this concept to a filly. “We don’t need to stop being friends, but it won’t be like it was these last two days. You see…”
----------
Blueblood crept through the palace, his eyes scanning every inch of the hall for some sign of his elusive prey. So far, however, all he had found was disappointment and a gnawing sense that his mission was doomed. Wherever Luna and Celestia had stashed the bastard child, they had certainly done a good job.
Even so, his disguise appeared to be working. None of the other guards motioned to stop him, at worst giving him a curious look before returning to their duties. As much as he hated having to cover his naturally fabulous good looks with coat dye and ill-fitting armor, he could not deny that the costume was fooling everypony that could stop his quest. And with Princess Luna thoroughly occupied with his long-outlived-their-usefulness agents, he had plenty of time for his scheme to unfold. It was the one glimmer of hope in his day.
“And so you see…”
His ears tingled at the sound. It was a filly’s voice, that much was clear, and it was coming from down the hall. Blueblood could recognize the route from his days as a colt, before his Auntie Celestia became cold to him for reasons that baffled the stallion. It was the way to Celestia’s private quarters, a place that no ordinary filly would even be allowed to set down a hoof without being mobbed by Canterlot’s elite troops.
I found you.
----------
“…that’s why I have to be an adult again,” Celestia finished.
Celestia had seated herself next to the windowsill. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Lofty anymore; otherwise, this would just be too hard. The yellow filly was sniffing at the air, barely able to hold back the frustration welling up inside her. “It’s not fair.”
Celestia sighed. “No, it isn’t.”
“B-But we can still be friends, right?” Lofty said quickly. “I mean, you can write to me, and I can write to you, and we can say hello if we run into each other and all that? Th-This isn’t goodbye, right?”
Celestia could take no more. She jumped down from her perch and walked up to the filly, her steps covered up by the sound of the pegasus’ sobs. “I-I didn’t mean to hurt you. What you’ve done for me the last couple of days has been nothing short of wonderful. You know....I never really had a ‘friend’ friend.”
Lofty looked up, her teary eyes reflecting her puzzlement. “Really?”
Celestia nodded in affirmation. “Ever since I was a filly, I had to be the responsible one. I had to make sure Equestria didn’t collapse under its own weight, or the planet didn’t get hurled into the sun, or that Luna didn’t poison herself on the green weeds. I never had time to play or have fun, and by the time I realized that, I was already a full-grown pony ruling a country. That was why I wanted to hang out with you so badly. Since I’ve been cursed, I’ve been able to actually enjoy things I never got to experience before, like playing with toys and riding carnival rides.”
Lofty managed to let out a weak smile. “B-But why can’t we stay like this?”
“Because I have responsibilities,” Celestia said. “Being a princess is more than just tea parties and fancy dresses. It means taking charge of your ponies, making sure your subjects have safe places to live and plenty to eat. I can’t just think about what I want; I need to do what is best for my little ponies, including you.”
“B-But we can still be friends?”
Celestia smiled and stretched a foreleg across the back of Lofty’s neck. “Of course we can. We may not be able to do the same things, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop counting you out as somepony I care about. And who knows? Perhaps when you grow up, you can get a job with the castle. We could always use more pegasi on staff.”
Lofty smiled and wiped another tear away. “Th-Thank you, Princess Celestia.”
The two friends hugged each other tightly, wishing a fond farewell to this brief time.
And then they heard the door slam.
Both fillies turned around to see an unfamiliar unicorn guard standing overhead, his eyes narrowed on the filly princess. His confusion soon transformed into a disturbing grin of triumph. “Good morning, Your Highness.”
“Oh…uh….hello?” said Lofty. She turned to Celestia. “Who is this....?”
The filly’s mouth froze as she saw Celestia’s terrified expression. Her jaw hung flat and her eyes bulged as she recognized this pony’s key features. His coat may have been a different color, and he may have been wearing the armor of a pony guardscolt, but there was no hiding who he truly was.
“P-Prince Blueblood?”
The stallion smiled. “Well, this is not quite what I was expecting. From what I had heard, you were just my dear aunt’s love child. But now that you really ARE my dear aunt…that makes things so much easier.”
Celestia hurriedly stepped backwards. Of all the ponies that she could possibly want to find out about this, Blueblood’s name was at the very bottom. “i…I order you to stay back!”
Blueblood laughed and took a single step forward. “Oh, you cannot order me around anymore. Once I have you, taking down your sister will be the easiest thing in Equestria.”
“STOP!”
Lofty cantered herself in between the trembling Celestia and the menacing Blueblood. Her tiny little hooves shook with a remarkable fury. “You are NOT going to hurt my friend, you big bully!”
“Get out of my way, foal!” Blueblood bellowed. “I am a prince, and I will not tolerate a peasant that thinks she can order me around!”
“Peasant?! PEASANT?!” Lofty turned to Celestia. “What’s a peasant?”
Blueblood facehoofed himself, the helmet letting out a metallic ting as his hoof struck. “Whatever. Get out of my way, or I WILL make you move!”
“Hah!” Lofty shouted. “You forget that I am a student of the great Fluttershy, tamer of beasts and defeater of dragons!”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. You only met Fluttershy once.
Blueblood raised an eyebrow. Who is this Fluttershy?
“And thanks to my mom, I too know her ultimate technique! BEHOLD....THE STARE!”
The filly planted all four hooves hard onto the ground, craned her neck back, and closed her eyes. One deep breath later, her eyes popped open, revealing the most focused pair of retinas a pony had ever known. They were the very eyes of death itself, the kind that could pick a pony’s soul clean and leave the empty carcass behind for the buzzards to feast upon.
That was what the filly was aiming for. Instead, her bulging irises and sweaty expression only brought on exasperation from the prince. “Very well. Know that I do this for the good of Equestria.”
Bluebood reached up a foreleg, ready to smack the filly away. Lofty’s resolve faltered quickly as she realized her attempt to emulate her hero would only end in her untimely demise at the hand of this murderous stallion. Celestia galloped to her friend and tried to pull her away, but the pegasus’ hooves were still locked in place.
The prince’s armored hoof swung…only to stop as the door opened. “Good morning, Princess Celestia! Ready to be…”
The prince spun around, his jaw almost pulling his entire face down with it as he saw who had just intruded. It was five of the six ponies that had ruined the Grand Galloping Gala, all neatly assembled together and trudging about like they owned the castle. They had even brought a small monster with them, no doubt to feed it the bones of ponies so it could grow and help them destroy Equestria forever. The beast and four of its cohorts stood there, mouths agape.
One, however, recognized the prince for what he was within seconds. Her growl was like that of a demon. “Yooooooou.”
“Well, this is a surprise,” Blueblood said. “The same ponies that ruined the most important night of my life just happened to come waltzing in right at my moment of triumph!”
“And…who are you, exactly?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Th-That cur there is Prince Blueblood, the termite-infested branch of Celestia’s family tree!” Rarity snapped. “I have never met a pony so uncouth, so uncivilized, and so self-absorbed as that wretched waste of fur right there!”
“Ah yes, the ungrateful peasant that thought herself worthy of my attention! I allowed you the opportunity to protect your superior, and you repay my kindness with threats and insults? No wonder you will never be true nobility.”
Rarity’s teeth grated against each other, filling the room with a noise not unlike nails on a chalkboard. The other ponies poured into the room, taking up a semicircle between Blueblood and the doorway. Even Fluttershy seemed unusually assertive today, standing alongside her friends without so much as a twinge of fear.
Blueblood choked back a laugh at the sight. “Th-This is too funny! You really think I’d believe you’d attack me when I have CelestiaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
The pained prince his head around to see Lofty yanking on his tail with her mouth. Even worse, Celestia was nowhere to be seen. The sound of tiny hooves, however, signaled where she was headed: right behind Twilight. Even worse, the prince could hear the marching of more armored hooves headed in his direction. Any moment now, he would be swarmed with guards.
With a growl of frustration, Blueblood flicked his tail, sending Lofty crashing into the waiting Fluttershy. The other ponies quickly gathered around the downed pegasi, only to freeze when they heard the sound of shattering glass. The ponies looked up, and Blueblood was gone, leaving behind only a broken window.
----------
Once news had spread of Blueblood’s schemes, Luna had seen to it that Celestia’s cure be given as soon as possible. She had not anticipated things to get this bad, but then again, her nephew always did have a bit of a thick head. And if he was willing to stoop to blackmail and extortion, then foalnapping did not seem too far behind. In any case, the guards were still swarming the grounds. There was no sign of a body, meaning that either Blueblood managed a leap that would astound even the Royal Pony Sisters themselves, or he had slinked off somewhere and was waiting to strike again.
Either way, it was time to bring things to an end.
After conferring with Twilight on the matter, it was decided that Luna’s bedroom was the best place to use the counterspell. Celestia’s room was still being cleaned out, and the Sun Princess apparently did not wish to have too large of a crowd for her grand return. The Bearers of the Elements were obviously invited, especially Twilight and Pinkie. (The latter having finally returned from her secluded party preparations to a great many group hugs and well wishes.) Ruby Dream and Lofty were also allowed to attend, as a reward for their services during these hard times. That, and Lofty was Celestia’s friend.
The preparations were drawn in total silence. An Imprisoning Circle was drawn on the floor and magically trapped. Luna had prepared magic-proof hazardous material suits just in case the spell backlashed. And Twilight stood nearby, holding onto an ornate wooden box until just the right time.
The minute Lofty got her suit on, she trotted up to Fluttershy. “Thank you so much for saving me, Fluttershy. You really are the most awesome pony ever!”
“W-Well, it really wasn’t a rescue,” Fluttershy corrected. “It was more like you, well, um, crashed into me by accident. B-But I’m glad I was there to break your fall!”
Rainbow Dash was on the conversation in seconds, wrapping a suited foreleg around her friend’s neck. “Oh, Fluttershy, you don’t have to be so modest! Why, if it weren’t for you, who knows what could have happened to little…uh…filly here!”
The filly frowned. “I have a name. It’s Lofty.” Her eyes lit up again as her gaze returned to Fluttershy. “So, can you teach me how to do all those cool things like how to talk to animals or use the Stare to defeat dragons?”
Before Fluttershy could speak, Dash overrode her will yet again. “I’m sorry, kiddo, but we’re awful busy today. Tell you what, next time you’re in Ponyville, you’re welcome to stop by. Fluttershy will GLADLY help you then. Isn’t that right, Fluttershy?”
The pegasus whimpered and nodded. The young filly sighed disappointedly and walked off, her only elation being that she was able to get so close to her hero.
“Alright, everypony!” Twilight shouted. “May I have your attention, please?”
Everypony spun around to face Twilight and the nearby princesses. The unicorn turned to Princess Celestia. “Please step onto the circle. I-If that’s fine with you, that is. I mean, you could just…”
Celestia raised a hoof. “Calm down, Twilight. It’ll be fine. Just…continue with the spell.”
The filly alicorn took a few steps forward, her rear hooves eventually contacting the drawing. Sure enough, the same transparent tube sprang up around her as before, albeit with a lot more room this time around. Twilight turned to Princess Luna next, nodding the signal to proceed.
Luna unfurled the scroll with the counterspell, quickly memorizing all the steps she would have to take. Once satisfied that she wasn’t going to turn her sister into a full-on baby or make her a filly in a mare’s body, the princess began to channel as much of her magic through her horn as possible. The entire room radiated from the raw power emitting from Luna’s form, and the show became even more accentuated by the flurry of sparks firing from the tip.
Celestia could feel a peculiar tingling sensation run the length of her body. Her wings unfurled against her will, her hooves became affixed to the floor, and even her horn began to glow with a faint golden light. A purple mist seeped out from the floor, twisting itself into the form of a snake before coiling around Celestia’s entire body. The smoke rose higher and higher, eventually filling the entire tube.
Everypony was so transfixed by the sight that they failed to notice the noises outside until the door came crashing down. Everypony but Luna and the now-hidden Celestia spun about to see none other than Prince Blueblood standing by the broken entrance, a few unconscious guards left in his wake. His armor was tattered and broken, his face was twisted in rage, and his entire body was covered with small cuts and glass shards. There seemed to be nothing more to him but a ball of incessant fury, his mind locked on one objective: get Celestia.
With a roar, Blueblood charged into the room, his horn aimed at the tube. The other ponies immediately leapt upon him, save for the two princesses. Luna could not break from the spell without possibly damaging her sister, and Celestia’s entire body was in the middle of a metamorphosis that prevented her from moving.
Pony after pony pulled and pushed against the rampaging prince, grabbing onto every bit of his body in a desperate attempt to prevent him from making things worse. Unfortunately, Twilight had made the costly mistake of placing herself directly in front of Blueblood, and in one of his wild head swings, his horn caught onto her suit. When he yanked back, he tore a good-sized hole in her protection.
At that moment, the mist glowed a pure white before suddenly exploding in a flurry of bright light, engulfing the entire chamber. The sheer force was enough to send the defending ponies flying. When the spectacle finally came to a stop, everypony’s jaw dropped as they saw what was standing in the center of the madness.
It was Princess Celestia, standing tall and proud for the first time in almost a week. The small, slightly chubby filly was now replaced with the slender proportions and elegant beauty the princess was known throughout the world for.
And beneath her were two stunned foals.
A lavender unicorn filly in an oversized hazmat suit, and a white unicorn colt surrounded by empty armor.
TO BE CONCLUDED…
Chapter 15 (Alternate) Chapter 17
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Fifteen
“And we just reverse the polarity here….add a dash of extra sparkle there…and…DONE!”
Twilight’s quill made its final stroke just as Pinkie stopped humming a conga tune and woke back to reality. That is, reality according to Pinkie Pie. “Whoa, was that cool! Can we do it again?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Let’s not. I’ve already almost had my entire consciousness swallowed by an ethereal monstrosity today, and I’d rather not toy with spells like that anymore. Just knowing I used the same magic as Kuchen…” She shuddered at the thought. “It just creeps me out.”
Pinkie’s face fell. “Oh.” And then lit back up. “Okay!” She trotted up to her friend, still all smiles and eager to help. “So, how’s the cure coming?”
Twilight’s face stayed firmly in her “serious business” mode as she reviewed the finished counterspell. The arcane words scrawled upon the parchment certainly seemed impressive enough to work. “Everything in it seems to flow naturally. The information Kuchen gave me helped fill in a few of the steps between the ones we already had, which should make it possible to remove all the spells in just the right order that we don’t set off any more traps. We should be able to get this done without turning into fillies again.”
Pinkie just bobbed her head along. “Uh huh.”
Twilight sighed. “You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”
“NNNNope!” Pinkie said in her usual giddy manner..
Twilight telekinetically rolled up the scroll, stuffed it into a nearby saddlebag, and hoisted the apparatus onto her back. “In any case, we have to get this spell to Princess Luna before things get worse. With Princess Celestia’s mind being what it is now, I’d hate to think what would happen if we keep this going any longer.”
The unicorn had only taken a few steps when Pinkie called out from behind. “Um…Twilight? About Kuchen…”
Oh boy, here we go. “Can we please not talk about him?” Twilight sighed. “I wasn’t comfortable with him when he was just riding around in your brain, and I’m still not sure where I stand with it.”
“Oh, it’s not about that,” Pinkie said. “It’s just…well…did you really want to, you know…kill him?”
Twilight slowly spun around, groaning at her friend’s question. Her eyes took on a far more menacing appearance, much like when she had stared down Discord during their final battle. “Do you really have to ask that? It’s his fault we’re in this situation to begin with. He made the spell that turned Celestia into a filly. He murdered Celestia-knows-how-many ponies. And if what I’m gathering is right, he’s made your life a nightmare too. How could you possibly forgive a pony like that?”
Pinkie’s eyes widened. She had never seen such intensity from Twilight before, and especially not aimed in her direction. The whole situation made her feel more than a little flummoxed. “B-But he looked so sad.”
“And he SHOULD feel that way!” Twilight snapped. “He was nothing but a horrible monster, and I will never, EVER forgive him for what he put you and Celestia through!”
Pinkie’s ears dropped as her body sagged. The sight of her friend falling apart took Twilight aback. “I…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. It’s just…I don’t think I can ever completely forgive anypony who would do something like that. One of the first things Princess Celestia ever taught me was to never use my magic to hurt anypony. How can I possibly think that somepony like Kuchen would be apologetic for that? And do you know what the best part is?”
Pinkie’s entire body squashed into itself, as if trying to morph the pony into a little pink ball. Given Pinkie’s prior track record, that was certainly in the realm of possibility. “I…I…”
Twilight leaned as close as she could. Pinkie could feel her breath through her nostrils as she spoke. “I’m glad you were there to stop me.”
Pinkie raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Huh?”
“While you were still in your dream land, I started thinking over all the things that occurred back there.” Twilight took a seat on her haunches, looking more than a little ashamed at what she had almost done. “All I knew about Kuchen was what you and Celestia had told me. I knew he was sadistic, cruel, and more than a little insane, but I figured that if I wore down his will to exist, you’d all be free. The thought of trying to redeem a pony like that never crossed my mind, and putting him back in your brain afterwards was out of the question. But when I actually considered what I almost did, it felt…wrong.”
Twilight nervously kicked her forehooves against the floor. “I love Celestia. She’s like a second mother to me. And I used that same emotion to try and torture a pony to death. I’m still not sure he deserved to be friends, but…at least you gave him the chance.”
“Kuchen’s not a bad pony anymore, thanks to you,” Pinkie said softly. “You made him give up hating everypony and start enjoying things again. And you gave me a new friend. I think that’s a far nicer thing than just letting him rot away because you don’t like some of the things he did.”
Twilight smiled. “I’m not really angry with you. It’s just…things have been getting worse and worse around here. It was your call to make, and whatever happens, I will still be your friend. But know we have a cure, and with that, everything is going to be all…”
The door to the study suddenly flung open, revealing a pair of mares, one green and one blue. “Excuse us, but have you seen Princess Celestia?”
Something within Twilight’s general guts area turned upside-down at the question. She and the recovering Pinkie slowly turned to face the two, their eyes wracked with new concerns. “No, why?”
“She’s gone missing!” shouted the hysterical blue mare. “She and Princess Luna had a terrible fight, and the next thing we knew she ran off!”
That little dash of dread in Twilight’s soon exploded into a mushroom cloud of unadulterated terror and horror. “Where’s Princess Luna?”
“I-In her office,” said the green mare. “She went there once the fight stopped and hasn’t come out since!”
“Then that’s where we’re going!” Twilight turned to Pinkie. “Come on! We’re too far in to stop now!”
----------
By the time the two ponies had reached Celestia’s office, a large crowd of worried ponies from all corners of the castle’s staff had already surrounded the entrance. Some were pleading for answers, while others just begged the princess to leave and tell them what was going on. It took all of Twilight’s pull with the guards (plus a few pulls from her magic) just for the two Ponyvillians to reach the door.
Twilight hushed the crowd, and they begrudgingly obliged. Taking a deep breath, Twilight knocked on the door. “Um...Hello? Princess Luna?”
A soft, regal voice answered back. “Twilight Sparkle?”
“W-We have a cure for the princess,” Twilight said. The declaration elicited another rush of chatter from the onlookers, albeit a lot more hopeful this time around. The unicorn hushed the crowd yet again before continuing. “C-Can we come inside?”
There was nothing from the other side for a while. Then, finally, a small voice answered back. “Very well. But just you and Miss Pie. Everypony else, please return to the search.”
The staff quickly followed their princess’ orders, filing away from the door and retreating to other parts of the palace. Once they were gone, Twilight and Pinkie opened the door and walked inside. Luna was still in the office all right, her quill furiously signing away on all manner of legislation. Were it not for her red eyes and shaky posture, it would have seemed like nothing was wrong. “Hello Twilight Sparkle, Miss Pie. I am sorry I cannot speak with you more right now, but there is so much to do still. I lost a lot of time today, and I…”
Pinkie didn’t even wait for her to finish. “We heard you and your sister had one heck of a fight.”
Luna sighed, her quill still working away. “Yes, we had a quarrel less than an hour ago. She left the room quite upset, as you can imagine. I decided to give her some space at the moment.”
“I…take it she told you she didn’t want to be princess anymore?”
The quill stopped so suddenly it snapped in two. Luna’s head jerked up in a furiously fast motion, sending the two mortal ponies back a few steps. “S-She what?”
Twilight facehoofed at her own foolishness. Way to go, Twilight. You just made things worse yet again.
“Sh-She does not want to be a princess anymore?” Luna’s lower lip trembled as she rose from her seat.
After a few moment, Twilight managed to regain enough of her composure to continue. “What exactly happened? I’ve never heard of you two fighting like that.”
All traces of her royal pride seemed to vanish in an instant. Luna’s face screamed self-loathing and deep-seated guilt over whatever had transpired. “Celestia ran away from the castle sometime early this morning. When we found her, she was at that carnival. We forced her back to the palace, I confronted her in her chambers, and…and…”
Pinkie looked almost desperate for answers. “And what?”
“I…I slapped her.”
Those blasted nerves in Twilight’s brain began to pump out those usual electrical pulses The muscles around her hooves tightened as she anchored herself to the ground, if only so she wouldn’t take a flying leap and start going after Luna’s neck. Unfortunately, they did little to silence her mouth. “You slapped Princess Celestia!”
Luna’s voice showed no signs of surprise at Twilight’s startled response, only regret. “I never wanted to hurt her. B-But she called me Nightmare Moon. She said I was a monster, that I was the worst big sister ever, and that I had turned all this into a chance to take over Equestria.” She sniffed. “And the worst part is, she’s right. I’m really not a good sister.”
“Y-You….I mean, you slapped…what?!” Twilight’s sentences devolved into something resembling ancient cavepony speak, or at least as it was presented in some of the pop fiction she had read in her time. She couldn’t quite pin what emotion she was feeling at the moment, but it was somewhere between “Very Angry” and “Twilight Smash.”
“Um…gals?” Pinke chirped. “Shouldn’t we be looking for the princess right now? I mean, we found one, but the other one could still be hurt!”
“I already know where she is,” Luna sniffled.
Twilight and Pinkie barely resisted the urge to faint like goats at this. The shock was so great that it managed to reboot Twilight’s higher brain functions. “If you know where she is, THEN WHY AREN’T YOU TALKING TO HER?”
“Because I…I…” Luna’s expressions hardened, becoming far more serious and businesslike. All traces of her former vulnerability were washed away. “Follow me. I’ll show you her favorite hiding place.”
----------
Luna’s silent procession through the castle was met with surprise and anxiety from every pony the group encountered. Guards, maids, cooks, and gardeners alike were turning over every nook and cranny of the palace, just in case Celestia had managed to compact herself to one inch in height and scuttled underneath a cushion. The moon princess could only sigh mournfully at all the trouble she had caused.
Twilight’s eyes never left Luna, even as they passed into the Royal Kitchens. The walk had calmed her slightly, but she still could feel nothing but a cold loathing for what Luna had done. The princess had not failed to notice this, but said nothing. There was really nothing any of them could say at this point. Pinkie, meanwhile, was too busy snagging the cake from this morning to notice, balancing the pastry on her head just to see if she could.
The procession stopped in front of a rather plain wooden doorway. Compared to the rest of the castle’s trappings, it stood out like a sore thumb. “So, what is this?” asked Twilight.
“The original Royal Pantry,” Luna said. “When Canterlot was rebuilt following Discord’s first defeat, this was where we stored what little food stores we had. It was already in disuse a thousand years ago, but we had ordered that it be maintained at all times.”
“But…why keep up an empty room?” Twilight asked.
“It wasn’t the pantry that was important,” Luna said as she opened the door. “It was what was behind the pantry.”
Having given all the answers she wished to at the moment, Luna slowly proceeded down the rickety wooden steps. Twilight and Pinkie were still more than a little confused by this, sharing the same cocked eyebrows and throbbing veins, but followed behind her nonetheless.
The pantry itself was little more than a glorified hole in the ground, complete with a dirt floor and moldy ceiling. Wooden beams held the walls up as best they could, while a few antiquated urns and jugs sat unused and broken in the far corner. In fact, the only things that were of any interest were a few tiny hoofprints on the ground leading up to the wall, and a few shelves filled with empty soup cans.
Luna eyed the piece of wall the trail stopped at. Like the rest of the pantry, it was made of antiquated stone. Unlike the rest of the pantry, however, there was almost no dirt or dust on one of the bricks. The princess glanced back and forth, and once she was satisfied nopony was hiding anywhere else, pushed a hoof against the outstanding brick.
The entire room became consumed by the dull sound of ticking gears as the entire wall slid back and to the left, revealing an ancient cavern twisting deep into the mountain Canterlot rested upon. Twilight gasped as she eyed the light-red, glowing moss growing along the walls. “Wh-What is this?”
“Did you ever wonder why Canterlot was built here?” Luna asked. “This is where my sister and I used to live, before we moved to the Everfree Forest for a time. When the Unicorn Kingdom built the original city, they purposely placed it here, thinking that we would like them more if they were closer to us. Unfortunately, all they did was lock us out of our home. When Canterlot was rebuilt millennia later, my sister and I ordered that a secret passageway be built into the pantry leading into the original cave.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Because it sounded sentimental at the time,” Luna sighed. “It is one of our most guarded secrets. None of the servants or guards are allowed inside, and only a select few know this place exists. We decided long ago that everyday Equestrians did not need to know our origin, nor did we wish to make it common knowledge.”
She motioned towards the darkness. “Well, if you have the cure ready, you might as well go fetch my sister. She will be at the very end of the passage. The Fire Moss should provide enough light, but watch your step. I will be in her study if you need me. I need to…finish some work before Celestia reassumes power.”
The princess had taken only a few steps up the stairs when she heard Twilight call out from behind. “You’re going back to work?! B-But you need to apologize…”
“What I am doing is for the best of Equestria,” Luna sighed. “Things have been building up, and I need to get something finished. I trust you two will be able to handle things from here. Speak to me when you are done.” And with that, Princess Luna trotted up the steps and vanished.
Twilight’s eyes glanced back and forth between the open passageway and the stairs. Okay, here’s my situation. Princess Luna slapped Celestia across the face, and she doesn’t want to be princess anymore. That means before I turn her back to normal, I have to convince her that she isn’t a bad ruler. But Princess Luna is obviously guilty about what happened. It feels like she’s trying to avoid the issue rather than confront her sister. If I want there to be any kind of peace between these two, I have to get them to speak to each other again. Oh, what do I do?
“Hey Twilight! Ever notice how weird these cans are? ‘Shy gypsy, slyly, spryly…?’ Sheesh, talk about too much time on your hooves!”
Twilight snapped back to reality at the sound of Pinkie’s voice. The pony was reading over the soup cans, seemingly paying no attention to everything going on around her. The unicorn facehoofed, her forehead aching from all the poundings it had taken the last few days. “Pinkie, what are you doing? We have a serious problem here!”
Pinkie turned away from the shelves and back towards her friend, the cake still perfectly perched upon her head. “Oh, I know that! And I know just what to do! You go talk to Princess Luna, and I’ll go get Princess Celestia! They say they’re sorry, we all have a group hug, and we have Princess Celestia back to normal by nightfall!”
Twilight groaned. “That’s not going to work! The two are so upset at each other right now, there’s no way we can get them to make up!” She raised a curious eye. “And besides, why would you talk to Princess Celestia? I’m her student. Shouldn’t it be me that helps her?”
Pinkie raised a paw to her mouth, loudly cleared her throat, and lowered her leg before continuing. “That’s because you are a biased party in this situation. As Princess Celestia’s personal student, you have more of an inclination to support her and her decisions, even if they are made in the heat of a moment. I, on the other hoof, am a completely neutral party in this case, and can thus provide a far fairer analysis of the events, thereby leading to a proper resolution. As for Princess Luna, both you and she have some things in common which can make it easier for the two of you to build a trust between each other.”
Twilight just stood there, her mouth agape at Pinkie’s long-winded explanation. Seeing her friend’s confusion, Pinkie pointed to the plate sitting atop her. “Oh, and I have a cake on my head. That helps, too.”
“Um…sure. Let’s…go with that,” Twilight mumbled.
Having triumphed over the egghead, Pinkie excitedly hopped down the corridor, vanishing into the darkness beyond. Twilight, meanwhile, slowly stumbled back up the stairs, her mind still reeling from what she had just heard. I wonder how much salt I’ll have to lick to get this experience out of my head?
----------
From the very moment Luna had entered Celestia’s study, she had busied herself with reviewing one piece of legislation after another. Trade agreements with the Republic of Asino, military alliances with the outlying pony lands, and even a few everyday laws and regulations were piled on the table, along with all of Twilight Sparkle’s and Pinkie Pie’s notes on the cure. Fortunately, there was still room for the princess to work.
She had so much to finish before the inevitable occurred. She had to leave some mark on Equestria as a whole, if only so they would have something to remember her by besides Nightmare Moon. Perhaps she could even drum up some support among the populace in her last few hours. After all, she had once enjoyed some popularity…
---
Luna was having the most amazing day.
The cheerful filly hopped from cloud to cloud, many of them her own creation, as she watched the ponies scurry about underneath. A scant fifty years ago, one of the herds had discovered how to control fire, something her big sister had said would be the beginning of civilization itself, and the nomads were certainly making the most of their new toy. From her vantage point, Luna had picked up their language, their customs, and even some information about the rest of the world. Her big sister had actually travelled outside their valley from time to time, but never allowed Luna to go.
Luna watched as ponies beat together berries and grain into a mush, pitched small shelters for the coming night, and even sharpened a few spears in case any predators decided to come by and think this was a feast. A few were even burning some excess grain on a rocky slab nearby; Luna could never understand why they would waste food like that. Satisfied that she had watched over the ponies properly for the day, the filly skipped back home, her little wings fluttering happily as she hummed an old tune she had heard the mother ponies sing below.
Celestia herself did not appear until an hour after Luna had made it home. She flew in as usual, her gangly, developing body hiding the fantastic power she held within. She and Luna spoke at length in their ancient, long-forgotten tongue. The elder sister spoke of her encounters with the ravenous dragon hordes and the greedy Diamond Dogs, while Luna prattled on about every wondrous new thing occurring in the village. It wasn’t until they heard a hoof scrape across the rocky floor that they realized they were not alone up here.
The two turned about to see a terrified mare kneeling before them, a spear resting next to her forelegs. Luna recognized her as being of some importance to the nearby tribe. Using what knowledge she had gained from her sister’s observations, Celestia stepped forward to acknowledge her, sending the mare shrinking back even more in fear. “You from tribe. Tell us why you come,” she said in that cumbersome, infantile language the ponies below spoke.
The mare stammered out a response. “Me Briar Patch. Daughter of chief. Me come asking for help from mighty sun god.”
Celestia and Luna shared a curious glance before continuing. “Sun god? Me?”
“We watch you many times. You control sun and moon. You sun god. You bring us food. You help us live.” The mare took a few steps out of the cave and stood along the edge of the cliff, the two Alicorns following alongside. She pointed her spear towards the village. “Me have two sisters and three brothers left. They burn offerings every night. They pray you keep tribe safe.”
Celestia watched the scene in stunned amazement. She knew her position was roughly around the same level as a god, but to be worshiped so quickly? “Me…honored.”
“And me honored too!” Luna piped in.
Having made her point, Briar Patch continued. “Tomorrow, season change. Tribe must move to new field. Winged ones want new home. Winged ones tell tribe they destroy tribe if tribe goes to new field.”
Luna’s eyes and mouth opened in joy as she heard mention of the winged ponies. She had seen a few of them in the valley, all dressed in shiny metal and looking very mean. And yet she could never figure out why they didn’t just go down and visit the other tribes. It was weird how they acted all secretive. “And how we help?”
Briar Patch nodded towards Celestia. “Winged ones worship sun god. They will listen if sun god speak. Tribe wishes for war. War cost many lives. Winged ones too powerful. Tribe will die. Sun god make peace, save tribe.”
Luna looked up to Celestia expectedly. This was the first time either one had been asked to intervene in any sort of mortal matter, save for keeping the planet’s ecosystem going. Celestia looked hesitant at first, as if afraid she would make a mess of things, but one look into her sister’s eyes changed all that. “Me talk to winged ones. Me make peace.”
Briar Patch bowed in reverence. “We double offering in thanks. You honor tribe with your grace.” And with that, she turned tail and galloped down the treacherous mountain path.
Once their guest was long gone, Luna turned back to her sister, reassuming their ancient tongue. “Please tell me they will learn to talk good one day.”
Celestia chuckled. “Of course they will, little sister. But ponies are still young. Things like this take a long time. Now go wash up for dinner. I gathered some new plants to try.”
Luna growled a little at the prospect of being a taste tester again, but obeyed her sister’s commands and ran inside the cave. She washed her hooves in the water-filled clay dish her sister had created a few years prior before drying herself on some cloths made from discarded manticore hair. The beast had attacked another tribe a few months back, only to meet its end at the tips of several sharp rocks on sticks. Celestia had seen fit to take some pieces of it back for their convenience; her sister was too good a pony to kill something with no reason.
Yes, life was grand in the cave…
---
For the first time since she had slapped Celestia, Luna allowed herself to smile at the nostalgia. Oh, those were the days. No real Equestria to manage, no Discord to fight, no laws and rules you had to follow. Just living in a cold cave for thousands of years while everypony around you practically worships the earth we trotted on.
Her mood soured as the rest of the past slipped in. And then I became the Night Goddess, and everypony immediately thought I was a devourer of souls and destroyers of ponies. Nopony cared how I felt except Celestia. And now…
She shook her head vigorously, stopping only when she was sure the offending thoughts were long gone. “I-I have to finish,” she whispered to herself. “It is only a matter of time before Celestia returns and…”
The door creaked open behind her, followed by the sound of hoofsteps against the hard floor. “Princess Luna, can we talk?”
Luna recognized the voice almost immediately. Nonetheless, her attention remained on her work. “I take it everything went well?”
“A-Actually…”
Luna finally spun her head around, and immediately realized where this topic was going. Twilight stood in the room alone, the door slowly closing behind her. There was no sign of either Celestia or Pinkie Pie. “I thought I had told you to come back only when my sister was cured, Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight gulped loudly before continuing. “Pinkie and I have been talking, and…it doesn’t feel right to turn Princess Celestia back while you two are still fighting.”
Luna scoffed, her attention never moving from the table. “The fight is over. Celestia has her cure, so why are we delaying?”
Twilight’s left ear twitched slightly in frustration. “What I mean is, I want the both of you to reconcile before we put Celestia back into power. Otherwise, who knows how bad things can get?”
“If you are worried about another power struggle, I can assure you that will not be happening,” Luna said. ‘Now if you will excuse me, I have something very important to do.”
Twilight’s eyes slowly drifted to the pile of papers sitting before the princess. They were no doubt the things she was trying to hide behind. If she was going to even get Luna to listen, she would have to do something drastic. “Why yes, you do.”
The unicorn trotted up to the table and, with the casualness of a thousand Rainbow Dashes, swung one foreleg across the whole surface. Everything Luna had so carefully constructed went flying across the room, landing in scattered heaps or embedding itself between books and scrolls.
Luna sprung from her seat and stomped up to Twilight’s face, her eyes locking with the unicorn’s in an attempt to scare the very soul out of her. Her right foreleg pointed straight for the pony’s chest, bobbing back and forth like she was scolding a small child. “How dare you interrupt royal business! You have no right-“
Twilight swatted the offending hoof away, startling Luna. “Let’s talk about rights, shall we? First off, what gives you the right to smack your sister across the face and then refuse to apologize?”
Luna reared back defensively. She had never quite seen such intensity in Twilight before. “I-I do not have to answer to you! What my sister said and did was inexcusable!”
“That doesn’t excuse you either!” Twilight snapped back. Her own hoof was now prodding Luna’s chest, alarming the traditionalist royal to no end. “Your sister was absolutely miserable this morning not because she wasn’t allowed to go to some rinky-dink carnival, but because she didn’t feel appreciated!”
Now it was Luna’s turn to smack Twilight’s hoof away. “I was despised and hated for over a thousand years! If Celestia cannot endure a few lines of bad press, then she never had any hope as a real princess!”
“Oh, I think it’s worse than some newspaper,” Twilight snapped. “These last few days, you have been horrible to her!”
“I was being responsible! I was trying to preserve what remained of my sister’s true self! All you wanted was to let her run around and get into trouble!” The princess leaned in closer. “In fact, I would say what has happened here is your fault! If you had not given her such foalish notions, she would not be trying to run away from everything!”
Twilight leaned in herself, the horns of the two ponies almost striking like swords. “But that’s what she wanted! She wanted to enjoy herself! She wanted to experience an actual foalhood for once! And let’s not forget that her ‘true self’ wouldn’t have been in danger to begin with if you HADN’T TURNED HER INTO A FILLY!”
“And what would you have me do now?”
“I want you to apologize to your sister! You two both need to grow up and accept responsibility for your actions!”
“None of that will matter once she sends me back in the moon!’
The sudden declaration sent Twilight sprawling back a few steps. Luna’s eyes were frantic, as was her breathing. “Wh-What do you mean?”
“Do you really expect Celestia to forgive me for what I have done?” Luna gasped. “She hates me. She told me herself. The moment she is back to her rightful age, she will no doubt have you and the other Bearers banish me to the moon yet again. And this time, she will never release me.”
Twilight’s ears flattened. “Th-That doesn’t sound like the Celestia I know. She went through so much trouble to bring you back and defeat Nightmare Moon. She wouldn’t just banish you again over something like this.”
Luna’s gaze softened, but not because she believed what Twilight had said. “It is…more than that. I…I cannot allow myself to remain if I am a danger to Equestria.”
“Y-You’re not a ‘danger to Equestria,’” Twilight said.
Luna lowered her gaze to the floor, feeling quite ashamed of herself. “Twilight…have you ever seen my sister injured? Physically, I mean.”
Twilight paused for a moment. “Well, there was that incident with your dresser, but that’s all I can think of.”
“I can think of two times. The last time was a thousand years ago, when I became Nightmare Moon. When Celestia came to confront me for not lowering the moon, I…Nightmare Moon tried to kill her. The battle was ferocious; it spread from one end of Equestria to another. But Celestia refused to fight back. She did not want to believe I could do something so vile, so she tried to use only defensive spells. Nightmare….I overpowered her, slammed her into mountainsides, cleaved her through valleys, and hurled her into the upper echelons of Equestria’s atmosphere. By the time she had reached the Elements of Harmony, she was battered, broken, and twisted.”
Twilight fell back on her haunches in shock. No wonder Luna is taking this so badly. “B-But you said there were two times. What was the first one?”
“The first time was when Discord conquered Equestria. He had driven the ponies mad, left the entire government in tatters, and then decided to celebrate by forcing everypony to eat animal flesh. Celestia and I had been away at the time, settling things in the Everfree Forest. But when she saw what he was doing…”
----------
“DISCORD!”
The draconequus lifted his head from his plate, his lips stained with a mixture of blood and chocolate milk. The other ponies kept eating away, a few crying as their attempts to fight the mad god’s influence failed. The sun goddess’ eyes burned with the intensity of a thousand suns. “Discord, what have you done?”
“Oh please, Celestia, can’t this wait?” the dragon moaned. “Business really shouldn’t be discussed over the dinner table.”
“You-You force our own ponies to eat meat?!” Luna shouted.
“Wait…you think these are YOUR ponies?” Discord laughed. With a snap of his paw, a small scroll materialized in front of Celestia, unfurled, and then slammed itself right into her muzzle. “You see, I had a nice little chat with the High Council, and they were oh so eager to just hand the land over. The military objected, but they’re too busy digging up worms and laying eggs now to talk about anything. As for the Unicorn Kingdom, they were perfectly happy to abdicate once they saw just how wonderfully awe-inspiring I am.”
Luna hopped up and down beside her sister, desperate to get a better view of the scroll. “Sister…is this true?”
The only sound to come from Celestia was the grinding of teeth. A golden aura surrounded the scroll briefly before blasting it with the heat of a raging inferno, burning it to ash. “You forget I am not a member of Equestria’s government. I do not have to bow to a monster like you. And neither does any species on this planet!”
Discord flew from his throne, hovering around the two princesses in his usual mocking way. “Well, I do suppose they don’t have to bow. They could perhaps curtsy, kiss my hand, do a little dance, whatever. All that matters is, they serve me now. I could always use some extra help sowing some chaos, perhaps even preparing for the next slaughter.
He stopped in front of Celestia, his claw poking her right between the eyes. “Oh, don’t tell me they never said you weren’t the first kids those deadbeats dumped on this rock. Every couple hundred thousand years, a few more get dropped off. They make their own civilization, create some things to live there, maybe bulldoze their homes with giant lizards, and then what happens? I wake up from my latest nap, spread chaos and destruction around, and get to watch everything they tried to build get burned to the ground. And in exchange, I don’t do anything else to the rest of the universe. Oh, it’s the little things that make life worthwhile.”
Celestia’s eyes widened as Discord’s words seeped in. Her parents abandoned the two on a lifeless world thousands of years ago. Discord seemingly appeared from nowhere whenever civilization got off to any kind of a start, just so he could knock everypony right back down. And now, he was effortlessly taking over the new homeland of her favorite children. The same land she had tirelessly served to protect from harm was now in the hands of an insane, virtually incomprehensible monster.
Luna prodded at her sister’s side, breaking the elder from her stupor. “Celestia, is he telling the truth?”
The sun goddess looked down at her younger sister. Luna’s eyes were wide opened, almost pleading the older one to say that it wasn’t true. But the goddess could say nothing. It was impossible for her to intone just what she was feeling. Discord was a liar and a schemer, always twisting everything so he could get his way. He could worm his way into anypony’s mind with just a few whispers, destroying whatever it was that made them unique before bending them to his whim. She had witnessed it countless time, albeit never on this scale.
This time should be no different.
But it all made too much sense.
Their abandonment, Discord’s arrival, and the sheer level of chaos spread within such a short amount of time was just too much of a coincidence to ignore. The monster was really telling the truth this time. And it cut worse than even the most heinous falsehood anypony could dream of.
Celestia turned away from her sister, instead locking in on the still-hovering Discord before her. “I do not care why or how we got here, but this is our home. This land was ours before the ponies migrated here, and I will not allow a maniac like yourself to despoil it for your own sick purposes!”
Discord scratched at his chin, smirking at the young one’s defiance. “You certainly have some fire in you. Must come from carting that sun around all day. But you really should lighten up. It’s not too late to join the party. We have some fine Pony Stickers!”
Celestia’s teeth ground against each other as lowered herself into a battle stance. “Discord, it is long past time somepony put you down.”
The draconequus facepawed himself and groaned, lowering himself down to the ground out of sheer frustration. “Look, you’re still kind of new at this, so I’ll give you some pointers. I am the embodiment of chaos itself. I exist because life itself exists, and unless you plan to obliterate every single living thing in the universe, you won’t get so much as a scratch on me. You, on the other hand, are tied to a big ball of gas floating around the planet. And suns can be extinguished. Believe me, I’ve snuffed a few out back in my day.”
“Sister, please!” Luna begged. “There’s no way you can win!”
“Be silent, Luna!” Celestia snapped. “When I require the advice of a child, I will ask for it!”
Luna took a few surprised steps back. She had never heard such raw anger in her sister’s voice before. A small part of Celestia softened as she saw the panic in her younger sibling’s eyes, but her mind was set. Today, Discord would fall.
The alicorn reared herself onto her hind legs and let out a whinny that echoed across the land. The force of her forehooves crashing down was enough to shake nearly all of Equestria. Discord just yawned at the spectacle, his mind constantly wandering back to the glass of milk he had been forced to abandon for all this Even his very voice lacked any of the usual smug superiority, instead replacing it with outright annoyance and menace. “All right, Celestia. We all knew this was gonna happen someday. Might as well get it over with”
With a final cry, Celestia charged ahead. Her horn was already aglow with a golden light as she prepared the myriad of spells it would take to destroy this monster once and for all. Discord simply stood in place, his arms crossed impatiently. And from the background, Luna watched and silently cheered as her sister entered the fray.
Celestia was about five feet away from Discord when he struck. Before she could fire off a single spell, the monster had teleported aside, grabbed Celestia by the midsection, and body slammed her into the ground. All the magic she had so diligently prepared beforehoof vanished as her head struck earth, the impact utterly destroying her concentration. Luna gasped as Discord stood over her, his body pinning her to the checkerboard earth.
“I really don’t care much for the direct approach, you know that?” Discord leered. “It’s just not as much fun when you have to bludgeon things over the head to get them to work with you. But sometimes, you run into someone – or somepony – that just doesn’t get it. It’s over, dear Celestia! You put up a good fight, but I WON!”
Celestia struggled against her captor’s weight. “This is not over, Discord!”
Discord ignored his opponent’s threats and curses. Instead, his eyes glanced down to Celestia’s outstretched wings. “My, those are such lovely wings you have. Perfectly aerodynamic, with such amazing plumage? Oh my, how genetics have spoiled you, little filly. Here, let me just make a few…er….modifications, if you will?”
With a maniacal glee, Discord plunged both of his clawed arms into Celestia’s wings, yanking out feather after feather. Luna screamed out her sister’s name, but it was inaudible over the sound of her sister’s cries of pain. It took what seemed like an eternity for Celestia to regain enough composure to teleport away, but by then the damage had been done. Her once majestic wings were now shredded sticks stuck to the sides of her body.
The disgraced goddess took in deep, labored breaths as Discord teleported alongside her again. “Oh, I’m sorry. Seems I took a little too much off. I don’t think those are going…to…”
The draconequus’ attention turned skyward as a very bright, very hot light appeared in the sky. All three godlike beings could recognize what it was in an instant: a solar flare. Normally such a thing would be catastrophic, but in Celestia’s hooves it could be fine-tuned until it was more like an extremely powerful laser. Luna felt like laughing as the beam speeded towards Equestria. There was no way Discord could survive that.
Discord, on the other hoof, did laugh it off. “Oh please, Celestia. Do you ever think these things through? Haven’t you thought of what that big old fireball is going to do to your sister?”
Celestia’s eyes widened in alarm. “What?”
The entire ground began to shake, as if the planet itself was being suddenly rotated. The beam’s position moved along with it, until it was over a new target: Luna. The alicorn filly, unaware of what was happening, was still cheering on her sister in this most epic of battles.
With a scream, Celestia broke away from Discord and galloped towards her sister, her horn desperately trying to put up a shield or lower the flare’s intensity. She managed to push her out of the way just as the blast hit. A searing column of flame engulfed her, its roaring flames beating out whatever noises the white alicorn made while she burned. Were it not for the shield she had thrown over the stunned Luna, her sister would have shared her fate.
The flare dissipated a few seconds later, but its damage had been done. Celestia was still alive, but her entire body was badly burnt, and her few coughs were rasped and dry. Luna instinctively ran towards her, but was shoved aside by the charging Discord.
“Oh Celestia, you don’t look so good.” He tsk-tsked at Celestia’s mangled body. “Tell you what, let me give you a hand...”
Luna was still only half-up when she heard her sister’s anguished screams, along with the ripping of flesh from muscle. The horrified filly closed her eyes as the sounds only grew worse. Bones cracked, hairs were pulled, and claws tore through flesh.
Then, the noises stopped. Everything was still, save for something warm trickling down Luna’s cheek.
“Pardon me, Luna, but is this yours?”
----------
Luna froze midsentence. Twilight noticed the change almost immediately. “Princess…?”
“I…I can hardly fathom her condition even now,” Luna muttered. She traced a hoof across her cheek, the same one that had felt the trickling so many thousands of years before. “What Discord did to Celestia was nothing short of monstrous. Her body was twisted and wretched to the point I could hardly recognize her. It was a miracle she had not died right there. Fortunately for us both, even a being of pure chaos could not resist acquiring a new toy to play with…”
----------
Discord dropped Celestia’s body to the ground, still flashing that demonic smirk of his. Luna’s entire body shook with terror as she glanced back and forth between her sister’s dying form and her soon-to-be-killer. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. We all knew this was coming. You see, dear Luna, her order really has no place in my kingdom. Your sister gave her life to save this bunch of worthless horses, but you don’t have to make the same mistake. If you want, you can join with the rest of us. Ponies will actually love you for once; heck, I can make them love you however much you want. You won’t have to worry about dear mommy and daddy or your dead sister again.”
Luna’s mind reeled at her dying sister’s mangled mess of a body. Every single thought vanished save for pure survival instinct. She leaped onto Celestia’s body, powered up her horn, and threw out the most powerful teleportation spell she could think of. Before Discord’s astonished eyes, the two vanished…
---
For the second time is as many days, Twilight could feel her stomach churning in horror at a princess’ story. Luna fell deftly quiet as her tale concluded. “So…what happened?”
Luna sighed. “I teleported what remained of my sister to our palace in the Everfree Forest. As amazing as this may sound to your generation, it was the safest place in Equestria from Discord’s mad reign. That small patch of land is the only place in the nation that cannot be controlled by outside magic. Why do you think we built our new home there?”
She turned away from Twilight. Her voice began to crack slightly as she spoke. “My sister was barely alive. It took every ounce of my power to keep her alive long enough to heal her wounds. It took hundreds of years for her to recover completely, and even then, she never healed completely. Her vision is no longer as sharp as it once was. She can no longer gallop across Equestria in less than a half-day’s time. And even though she can still fly, she can no longer move at the same speeds. She is, in many ways, still crippled.”
A few small drops ran down Luna’s muzzle. “By the time she was well enough for us to pursue the Elements of Harmony, Discord’s insanity had spread out beyond Equestria and began swallowing up the neighboring lands. Not a trace of the land we had tried to defend was left. A-And it was my fault.”
Twilight took a few steps towards the princess. “No, it wasn’t. You did the best you could. I’ve faced Discord, and I know how much of a monster he is.”
Luna shook her head. “I could have helped her during the fight. I could have pulled her back before things had begun. But no, I just sat there like a good little filly and let my sister get torn to shreds. I promised myself that whatever I did, I would never see her hurt like that again. And then two thousand years later, what happens? I become Nightmare Moon and try to kill her myself. And after I’m purified, I slap her across the face while she is in a highly weakened state.”
The princess sighed. “She will never forgive me. And even if she did, I could never forgive myself.”
----------
Celestia barely moved in the darkness. What little light the Fire Moss was giving off was barely enough to let the filly see her own hoof in front of her face, much less navigate her way back through the winding passageways to the castle proper. In her haste to reach her usual hiding spot, she had forgotten just how deep the ancient passageways ran underneath Canterlot. As much as the filly hated to admit it, she was lost.
Not that it matters anymore.
The small chamber she now sat in was the only part of the caves to show any signs of life. Upon the rock sat faded paints and pictures. It was upon this canvas that the two sisters had first practiced their art, etching out the designs that would later be the stars and creatures of their world. Once they had been things of beauty; now, less than a dozen remained visible, and even those would vanish within a half-century or less.
Just another reminder of how old I am…
---
For over a thousand years, all Celestia could do was watch the sky. There was no sun, no moon, no anything to mark that any time had passed. She had grown barely an inch in all that time, and once the pleasures of a physical body had worn out their welcome, she was left with the grim realization that she was now trapped as this for an eternity. Or until she starved to death, whatever came first.
All that time, she had barely ventured out of the same cavern her parents had abandoned her in. They had said the place was blessed, that nothing could harm her as long as she stayed within its walls, but that did little to offset that peculiar feeling in her body’s gut. The only way to get the rumbling to stop was to eat, but almost nothing grew on this wasteland of a planet. The only things she could find were a few straggling plants and some cave moss, and judging from her very thin proportions, it was obviously not enough to survive on.
She dared not poke her head outside. Her first attempts at creating macroscopic life had ended in disaster, unleashing massive beasts that snorted fire upon the world. The rest of the developing lifeforms were not much better, and even under the accelerated growth her parents had placed upon the planet, they were still little more than frogs and small rodent or two. Even worse, they had the audacity to ignore her demands that they just start evolving already and give her a playmate.
Then, during one featureless day, Celestia awoke to a sound she had never heard before. It was a sharp wail, much higher pitched than her own, that rumbled its way around the cave’s interior. The filly rolled off the cold floor and onto her hooves, being careful to balance her posture this time so she didn’t fall face-first into a pile of rocks again.
Her eyes lit up as she saw what awaited her at the cave’s entrance. It was her parents, standing tall and powerful, their ethereal forms twisted into facsimiles of her own. With a squeal of glee, Celestia galloped towards the two, only to be stopped when an energy field enveloped her mere hoofsteps from her mother.
“Celestia,” her father said in his booming voice. “We have decided that you cannot perform your duties alone.”
“What duties?” Celestia whined. “You never told me anything!”
“You will know when the time comes,” her mother said in a much smoother, sweeter voice. “In the meanwhile, we have brought you someone to share this planet with.”
The two stepped aside, and a creature Celestia had never seen before stumbled into the cavern. It looked a little like her, but its body was a dark blue, with a much lighter shade for the hair and tail. It was very short and very pudgy, looking more like a parody of a mortal than anything else. Celestia recoiled in terror as the giggling monstrosity walked towards her. “Wh-What is it?”
“This is a baby,” said the father. “Your sister, in fact. We have given her the name ‘Luna.’ Just as you will one day forge a mighty sun to light this world, she shall bring forth the moon to begin the night.”
“Wh-What is a night?” Celestia cried. “And what am I supposed to do with her?” Luna only sat on her rear and giggled at her newfound sister’s frustrated attitude.
“Take care of her, and you will both find your true destiny,” said the mother.
And with that, the two figures melted away from sight. The energy field broke upon their disappearance, but it was too late for Celestia to do any more than gallop out of the cave and look up at that empty sky.
“Mom! Dad! Come back! D-Did I do something wrong? Is that why you left me? I’m sorry! J-Just please do not leave me again! MOMMY! DADDY! PLEAAAAAASE!”
The wailing noise emerged from the cave. Celestia turned around to see that her new sister was crying up a storm, flailing her tiny little stubs like clubs in a bid for attention. Sighing, Celestia bent over and wrapped up the crying baby in her front legs. Luna’s cries lessened as she took in the warmth of her sister’s body, causing her to fall asleep.
“Do not worry, Luna. I am sure they will be back some day…”
---
The princess moaned at the memories. Her parents never bothered to come back again, leaving the two alone for all of eternity. Fortunately, alicorn foals were especially tough, and Celestia managed to keep Luna alive despite her relative youth and inexperience. By the time she was a yearling, the accelerated evolution of the planet had run its course, and the world had begun to resemble its present self more. And from there, it just got worse.
The early strife between the Pony Tribes. Discord’s appearance and conquest of Equestria. Nightmare Moon. They had all taken their toll on Celestia’s own good will, slowly burning their way through what little grace she still had. The old me wouldn’t have tried to poison some ponies she didn’t like, or make her sister’s life a living hell for her own amusement. I…I…”
“Hello?!”
The fur on Celestia’s back stood rigid as she spun around. Standing behind her was Pinkie Pie placing a cake (plus platter) on the ground. “Has anypony told you this is the coolest secret passage ever? I mean, those ones in the sewer are alright, but boy, are they stinky! Not this, though! It’s all super-secrety and cool!”
Celestia sniffed away a tear, trying to put up as brave a front as possible. “So, what do you want?”
“Oh, the usual,” Pinkie said. “Happiness for all, parties for everpony, perhaps an orbital party fortress so I can rain love and joy all over the world. But right now, I was just seeing if you were all right. I heard you and your sister had a little fight.”
Celestia pointed at the red mark across her face. “You call this a little fight?”
Pinkie winced. She could still remember things like that from her own foalhood. Of course, those tended to be from her parents, and usually after she did something like carve the entire harvest into smiley faces, or that time her epic kazoo recital had caused a boulder to crash through the house. Her sisters never lashed out at her like that. “I’m sorry, your royalness. I didn’t know…”
“No, you don’t,” Celestia growled. “And you will never know.”
“I have two sisters and a cousin,” Pinkie said without as much as a drop of snark. “And by you, I could tell you stories! Why, I remember this one time, we went to Octy’s first recital, and I decided to be nice and tune her cello while she was in the bathroom. She…wasn’t too happy when I broke every string she had. And then broke her bow trying to fix them. And then set the cello on fire. She was so angry that she called me a stupid good-for-nothing that ruined everything around her. I said she was a grumpy pony that can’t appreciate anypony else trying to do anything nice for her. It seemed like the end of our friendship as cousins, but after a few days, she wrote that she was sorry and that I was allowed back any time she had a performance.”
Celestia sighed. “That’s…nice. But it’s not the same as what happened between my sister and I. All she cares about is making herself look good by making me look bad.”
Pinkie scoffed. “Now that’s just a nasty ol’ lie! Your sister loves you! You should have seen how heartbroken she was when she showed me this place.”
Celestia was silent for a while, her mind reeling with images of a sobbing, remorseful Luna. They just made the filly feel even more guilty. “It’s just another mistake. I’ve made oh-so-many over the millennia.”
“Well, I mean, everypony makes mistakes!” said Pinkie. “I mean, I trusted talking balloons once! A pony as old as you must have messed up a few times!”
“And the entire reason you have a voice in your head is because of one of my mistakes,” Celestia sighed. “In fact, us becoming princesses to begin with was a mistake!”
---
Celestia and Luna stared down at Discord’s stoned remains. Around them, Equestria gradually returned to its former state, as all traces of Discord’s mismanaged rule vanished once the source of their existence had been removed. The ponies that had been accompanying their chaotic master to his demise finally saw the world with untwisted minds for the first time in their lives. After generations of suffering, the war was finally over.
Celestia smiled as she took in fresh air for the first time in centuries. She then turned to the stunned ponies, who were still staring at their master in utter bafflement. “My little ponies, you are free. Discord’s anarchy has come to an end.”
One of the ponies took a confused step forward. “i-I heard him mention you before! You are Celestia and Luna!”
“Impossible!” said another. “Those two died eons ago! These must be imposters, or perhaps their descendents!”
Luna smiled. “We are one and the same. It took us this long to recover from the last battle, but we have returned.”
“And now what?” asked a third. “What are we supposed to do now?”
Celestia composed herself, looking far more powerful than she had been in a long while. “I want you to spread the word. Travel from village to village, proclaiming the good news of Discord’s destruction. Then, I want you to find a representative from each community, and bring them back to this spot. We must discuss the rebuilding of Equestria.”
The ponies were apprehensive at first, but eventually bowed and darted off in all different directions. Once they were all safely out of earshot, Luna turned to Celestia. “They were right, though. We never had a plan for after we defeated Discord.”
Celestia’s response was to hover upwards look silently over all of Equestria. Even with Discord’s corruption gone, there were still many things missing. Entire settlements were wiped from existence, and even Canterlot was no more than some small patches of rubble. The population had declined dramatically, and it would take many generations of ponies working together before the land could be a viable nation again. And the ruling families were long gone, their destruction being one of the first things Discord did to solidify his reign. There was no pony capable of leading Equestria in this dark time.
That is…
“We will have to rule Equestria.”
Luna’s jaw dropped. “Wh-What? But we are not royalty!”
“We are the only ponies that can remember what royalty is,” Celestia said. She tapped a hoof on Luna’s shoulder and smiled at her warmly, calming the young one’s nerves. “We might have to re-educate all of Equestria, dear sister. So much has been lost, and we are the only ones that can bring it together again. Until a time where the nation’s subjects can take care of themselves again, we must do everything we can to make survive.”
Luna was very quiet for quite a while. She had not really planned on something like this, even when she used to “borrow” Princess Platinum’s crown and cape and strut around like a unicorn princess. And yet her sister’s words were true. They were the last bastions of pony civilization. “W-Well, do we have to follow all those stupid traditions?”
“I suppose so,” Celestia said with a wink. “We did teach them to the unicorns, after all. Not that we cannot change a few.”
“So we are going to have to talk in plural, yell at our subjects, start using ‘thou,’ and have ponies kissing our hooves all day?”
“I believe so,” said Celestia.
Luna sighed. “Well…if it is only for a while.”
---
Pinkie shook her head in disbelief, even as she continued chewing on her slice of cake. Celestia’s piece sat undisturbed in front of her. “So…you weren’t gonna be princesses forever?”
“That was not the plan at the time,” said Celestia. “It took a while to get going again, but after the first thousand years had passed, Equestria was well on its way back to its hooves. So, we decided it was time to re-introduce Democracy again. The Parliament would run most of Equestria, while Luna and I shifted over to ceremonial duties over anything else. It would have been perfect….had the election gone right.”
Pinkie swallowed her piece. “So, what happened?”
“They voted us back in unanimously,” Celestia sighed. “None of the candidates even tried to run a serious campaign. They all just wanted to make sure Luna and I stayed locked up in this castle forever.”
“So, why not just quit?” Pinkie asked between bites.
“Because we had inadvertently centered Equestria’s entire government on ourselves and our decisions. There were still local governments and mayors and the like, but almost every top-level decision had to be run through us. Before long, we had actually made the entire country dependent on whatever we did. We-We couldn’t just leave. I had thought about just giving more power to the aristocracy, but...then Nightmare Moon happened. I had to put everything on hold just so the country wouldn’t fall apart.”
Pinkie didn’t say anything. She stopped chewing on her third piece, while Celestia just continued to eye her first. The princess laid herself upon the rocky floor, eyes sad and detached from the world around her. “They cheered, you know? They congratulated me on slaying that terrible monster and saving Equestria from her soul-devouring tyranny. They even made that day into a holiday, Nightmare Night. And no matter what I said or did, they refused to accept that Luna and Nightmare Moon are not the same pony.”
The pink pony set her food aside and walked up next to the princess. She nuzzled her gently, eliciting a small smile from Celestia. “It’s okay. Your sister’s back now, so what’s wrong?”
Celestia sighed. “Luna doesn’t need me anymore. She’s doing a wonderful job with Equestria. The fact is, nopony really needs a sour old pony like myself to boss them around. So, why stay?”
“Um…because you want to?” Pinkie stammered half-heartedly.
“I do suppose I enjoy the position sometimes,” she said. “I love speaking my subjects, and would do anything to make sure they’re happy. And I cannot deny, there is some pleasure in pulling a diplomatic victory over some unsuspecting ambassador.”
Her frown returned, deeper than ever. “But that doesn’t excuse my behavior. Instead of talking to my subjects when something was wrong, I shunned them. Instead of taking time out of my day to at least show that I care a little, I brushed my youngest and weakest ponies off without so much as giving a reason why. And instead of talking things over with my sister, I turned her into my personal punching bag until she broke. I should have stopped Discord before he could escape. I should have found a way to save my sister before I banished her. And that’s just the beginning.”
The filly looked at Pinkie sheepishly. “I…I can’t go back. Equestria would be better off without a Princess Celestia. Besides, I’m a lot happier this way. I have a friend in Lofty, a real mother in Twilight, and no more royal duties I can make a mess of. If I go back to Luna, though, she’ll force me back on the throne. I’m sorry, but I can’t allow that. I never want to go back to that again.”
----------
Twilight leaned over the fireplace, her horn releasing a spark that ignited a roaring flame. “I admit, what your sister said was terrible, but why are you so certain she’d not want to apologize either? The Princess Celestia I know would be asking for forgiveness almost immediately.”
“I-It’s more complicated than that,” Luna said. “Even if we did atone for our actions, she still does not wish to be a princess any longer. I would have to convince the entirety of Equestria that I am a qualified candidate to take her place.”
“And that shouldn’t be too hard,” Twilight said. “The news certainly seems to be on your side. And besides, I’m sure Celestia’s filled you in on all the changes that have come to Equestria since you’ve been gone.”
Luna’s attention turned to the burning fire. “Actually, I had to fill many of the gaps in myself. Our schedules have made things keeping a sisterly relationship rather complex. The last time we spoke directly was over a year ago, when we were first returning to Canterlot…
---
Luna stared out at the passing Equestria, her eyes savoring every sight. The majestic green hills of Equestria rolled and pitched at every step, while the fertile farmlands of the numerous Earth pony communities looked more vibrant than anything she had seen in her time. In the skies above, scores of pegasi flew from cloud to cloud, making formations that would shame the finest Pegasus Force units. And in the distance, she could see mighty Canterlot, still standing after all these centuries, as if it had waited for its missing master all this time.
Celestia watched the small pony’s ecstatic face with no small amount of joy. She had ordered her guards to take the scenic route back home, both to allow Luna to take in some of Equestria’s newest wonders, and because it gave her more time to spend alone with her long-lost sister.
Yet again, the older sister leaned over and nuzzled the prodigal pony’s cheek. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Luna giggled. Her sister’s coat was just as ticklish as ever. “I know. You have said that every five minutes.”
Celestia’s laugh sounded like warm music to the smaller alicorn’s ears. She could only suppress another laugh as the older sister nuzzled the back of her head. “Well, it’s true. Canterlot has been so lonely without you, and I could never make the nights as beautiful as you could. You should see the complaints I get from the Astronomy Guild.”
Luna smiled. She could remember the one time she had allowed Celestia to make a constellation. It had ended with the Ursas invading Equestria, and required more than five years to clean up. “Yes, I figured.”
Luna turned her attention away from the passing countryside to her precious older sister. “Celestia, I noticed something back in the village.”
“Hmm?”
Luna shook her head in confusion. “When you were speaking to the citizens, your mannerisms were all wrong.”
Celestia raised an eye at this. “What do you mean? I was just behaving like usual.”
“But you did not use the Royal Canterlot Voice!” Lune exclaimed. Celestia was taken aback by the look of sheer worry in her face. “And there was no ‘Royal We’ anywhere in your speech! And did you truly use ‘you’ when speaking to your subjects?! Such a word should only be used when speaking between the two of us!”
Princess Celestia took a few steps back, looking behind herself to make sure she didn’t hop out of the carriage by mistake. “Luna, it’s been a thousand years. Things have changed since then. The way you and I both must speak and behave is far less rigid and authoritative than in the past. We can’t just scream at everypony and expect them to like it anymore.”
Even as the words left Celestia’s mouth, Luna’s desperation grew. The reality of her long exile was beginning to finally hit home. “And our palace! Our old home was in ruins! An-And those buildings! When did ponies stop using thatched roofs? How far spread is Equestria now? Why are there towns and villages where there were none? How many ponies are there?”
The older princess could feel her gut turning. All the joy and victorious glee she had been feeling only moments before evaporated as she realized the full scope of the situation. She had hoped that, even as Nightmare Moon, her sister had been able to see at least some of the changes that had occurred over the millennium. At least that would have spared her some of the more complex changes that had occurred. Now her sister was on the verge of tears again.
Celestia reacted the only way she could. She reached out her forelegs and pulled Luna in tightly, hugging her like a foal would a stuffed toy. Luna’s body briefly went rigid at the touch, before relaxing into a slouch. “Luna…I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I should never have banished you.”
“No,” Luna muttered from Celestia’s chest. “You had to think of our ponies, our country, and our world. I would have destroyed it all because of a moment of weakness. I…I understand why.”
“It’s in the past,” Celestia sighed. “And don’t worry. Most of the world has changed for the better. I’m sure when we get back to Canterlot, you will see that things will change for the better.”
---
“She was right for a little while,” Luna finished. “When we first arrived, everypony was so eager to know who I was, where I came from, and why Celestia never mentioned she had a sister. But then things started to fall apart. My sister gave me a nightly court I could rule over, and many of the ponies that attended were quite respectful and reasonable, but we almost never saw each other after that. Even worse, it was our job to ensure that whatever it was that Celestia proposed wouldn’t end up destroying Equestria. And she had proposed some strange things.”
“Such as?” Twilight asked.
Luna opened her mouth to give an example, most likely the one that would require everpony to wear clothes at all times, but then decided it was not in her best interest to speak about that at this time. “It does not matter. The point is, I had to work just as hard as my sister, but who got the praise when things went well? She did. It was like everypony thought she ran the entire country by herself. And whenever I tried to confront her about it, she would just give me the same hollow reassurance that ponies would someday come to appreciate me. That’s all I wanted. Just to be as liked and respected as Celestia.”
The princess slouched onto her haunches in defeat. “But I don’t deserve it. She really is better than me at everything. All I can do is shout at everything and beat fillies when they call me names. And the saddest thing is, nopony will ever care that she can be a horrible pony sometimes.” She glanced back to Twilight. “Even you would take her side with this.”
Twilight took a few steps towards the princess. “Actually, I’m with you on this one.”
Luna’s head spun around so fast her neck almost snapped. “What? B-But you’re her prized student!”
“But I know what it’s like to have somepony you care about run away,” Twilight said. “A while ago, Spike got jealous of my pet Owloysius.”
Luna cocked her head. “Owlo-what?”
“I know, it’s a long name,” Twilight sighed. “Spike thought that I was trying to replace him, and after I yelled at him over an accident, he tried to frame Owloysius for killing a mouse. I caught him just as he was pouring ketchup onto a cat toy, and…I said some things I probably shouldn’t have. When I came back to the library a few hours later, Spike was gone. He had run away because he thought I didn’t love him anymore.”
Luna wiped a foreleg across her eyes. “I…I don’t see what this has to do with Celestia and I.”
Twilight walked up next to the princess. Their two eyes met in a moment of understanding. “After I found he had gone missing, I was so angry with Spike for running like that. I couldn’t stand the thought of him out there alone, scared and hungry. He is just a baby dragon, after all. But when we found him, I realized I was really upset with myself. Unintentionally or not, I had implied that I was abandoning him for somepony better. In a way, it was both our faults that it happened.”
Luna rolled her eyes away. “See? You really do blame me for what happened.”
Twilight shook her head. “Yes and no. Both you and Celestia have to share the blame for what happened. You may have turned her into a filly, but that was because she was being mean to you to begin with. She snuck out of the castle, but it was because you didn’t allow her any freedom. The two of you have been getting on each other’s nerves the entire time. It just happened to spill over this time. That doesn’t mean it’ll be the end of your time as sisters. And before you can get anywhere, the two of you have to talk to each other.”
With a heavy moan, Luna stepped away from Twilight. Her eyes instead locked onto a small rack of scrolls buried in the far side of the study. As her mind digested Twilight’s lecture, one thing became clear: she is absolutely right.
“I will…need some time to prepare,” Luna said. “It’s time we settled things between us once and for all.”
“Whatever you need, I’ll try to help,” Twilight said.
“Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. You truly deserve to be my sister’s prized pupil.” Luna levitated over some old parchments, being ever-so-careful not to damage them. “And Twilight? May I ask you one more question?”
Twilight smiled as she walked over. “Of course.”
“I-If worst comes to worst, and my sister does decide to remove me, please…make sure she stays well.”
Twilight was silent for a few seconds. Luna sounded utterly defeated, as if Celestia would never agree to any other course of action. Nonetheless, she had no choice but to nod in agreement. “I promise.”
Luna flashed her replacement the quickest of smiles before returning to her work…
----------
Pinkie moved to open her mouth, but paused in mid-gape as something clicked in the back of her mind. She’s convinced being a filly is better than being a grown-up. The poor little girl hasn’t figured out not everything about being a kid is sunshine and lollipops. Man, we need some sunshine and lollipops down here, stat.
She gulped. Her thoughts took on a far more menacing tone, sounding like they were voiced by an entirely different Pinkie and not matching the actual speed at which she was thinking. I have to unleash the most forbidden of lectures, the same ones taught to me by my Sensei Daddy Pie so many years ago! It is an ancient art, passed down from Pie to Pie in a desperate attempt to ward off our ancestor’s corrupting influence. I had sworn to myself to never use it, but I have no choice. I have to break Celestia out of this vicious cycle of pain. I must use…THE ANTI-SMILE EQUATION!
Pinkie took a few steps back. Her lips trembled nervously as she prepared the words she would have to say. Celestia took no notice of this, instead content to continue pouting and hoping the problem would resolve itself. “You know what? You’re right. Who needs to be a stinky old adult anyway?”
Celestia’s head sprang up. “Huh?”
“Oh sure, your sister is gonna miss having a big sister, but what good has she done for you, huh?” Pinkie blew a raspberry. “Not a thing, that’s what!”
Celestia turned around, her mouth hanging open in shock. “Pinkie Pie, what are you saying?”
Pinkie gave another dismissive wave of her hoof. “I’m sure she can run Equestria much better than you can. After all, she was only gone for a thousand years. I’m sure the politics of Equestria haven’t changed that much since then. Maybe we can all go back to living in mud huts and scavenging for wild turnips!”
The princess walked forward a few steps, eyeing Pinkie with increased wariness. “Miss Pie, is something wrong? I’m sure Luna’s not going to set us that far back.”
“And let’s not forget your new friends!” Pinkie continued. Her confidence grew as Celestia’s own expression began to fall apart. “That little foal you’ve been hanging out with is probably a great kid! I’m sure you’ll have all sorts of epic adventures together. And Twilight will be a great mother to you. She can teach you all about magic and books and…magic books, and who knows? You might even get to be friends with their kids!”
Celestia could feel a few drops falling from her eyes. “Pinkie…stop…”
Pinkie could see the child breaking down, and every part of her wished to stop and comfort Celestia. But the process couldn’t be halted. She had to finish the Equation. “Because you’ll live a lot longer than them, you know? They’ll be old and grey and you’ll still be a little filly! And then you’ll have to find somepony else to live with, but I’m sure you can figure that out. And meanwhile, everypony is going to forget who you are and that you ever ruled Equestria, and Princess Luna will get all the praise, and you’ll be able to live as a cute little foal somewhere deep within Equestria!”
Celestia reared up and punched her forehooves against Pinkie’s chest repeatedly. “PLEASE STOP!”
Pinkie looked down at the filly, her blows barely managing so much as a tickle. “Aw, what’s wrong? I was just telling you how awesome your life’s gonna be from now on!”
“Well, you’re wrong!” Celestia whined. She stopped pounding on pony in front of her, instead, choosing to bash her hooves against the cave floor. “I’m gonna have a chance to live like a normal pony for once!”
“But you’re not a normal pony, silly,” Pinkie said. “Normal ponies don’t have both wings and a horn. Normal ponies don’t live for thousands of years. Normal ponies can’t raise the sun and moon by themselves. Oh, you’re not a normal pony at all. You’re a very special pony, and nothing you ever, ever, ever do is going to change that.”
Celestia stopped breathing. Her heartbeat slowed to a painful crawl as her brain almost froze over in horror. Everything Twilight’s friend had said was true, and it terrified her to admit it. She managed to belt out one final scream.
“N-N-NOOOOOOOO!”
Then she collapsed into Pinkie, now reduced to a sobbing wreck of a pony.
Pinkie wrapped her forelegs around the crying filly, pulling her in as tightly as she could. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you cry. I’m supposed to make ponies smile, not frown. But it’s the truth.”
“I know!” Celestia muttered between hics and sobs. “I knew the whole time this thing wouldn’t work out but I went ahead with it anyway and now I’ve lost the only friend I’ve got in the whole wide world and I’m going to grow up alone and everypony hates me and I-“
“Um…I think you should start over,” said Pinkie. She spun her head around and reached behind her body, pulling a handkerchief out of nowhere. “Here, you can use this.”
Celestia shakily took the hanky in her hooves. “Th-Thank you.” She took a big gulp of air and blew into the fabric, her nose trumpeting an echo that rocked the whole cavern. When she handed the handkerchief back to Pinkie, it was so covered in holy tears and snot that it practically dripped. Pinkie smiled nervously before throwing the thing back into the mysterious place she had pulled it from.
“Um…glad to have…helped?” Pinkie said nervously.
“I can’t believe myself!” Celestia sobbed. “This stupid body has cost me everything! I-I’m not a filly! I never will be a filly again! I’m an adult, and it’s time I started acting like one!”
“A-Actually, you don’t have to be super-serious all the time,” Pinkie said. She nervously rubbed her crest with one hoof. “I mean…you could take a real vacation from time to time It’s not like Princess Luna can’t keep things running while you’re gone.”
Celestia’s heart froze. Luna…oh no….
She turned up to the pony. “Pinkie, I would like you to escort me to my sister. I…I have to speak to her.”
Pinkie fired off a salute, and with a fiery “Okie-Dokie-Loki!” threw the princess on her back and started down the cavern. Well, after pausing to pick up the rest of the cake. No point letting a perfectly good dessert go to waste.
----------
Rarity was halfway through with yet another dress when she heard a small knock on the door. “Cooo~ming!”
The unicorn trotted up to the entrance and willed the door open with her telekinesis, revealing the small, waiting form of Sweetie Belle. “Hi Rarity! How was Canterlot?”
Rarity sighed. “It certainly wasn’t all I was expecting. But still, we got to visit with Twilight and the princesses.”
Sweetie Belle cocked an eyebrow as she entered the workroom. “Princesses? I thought there was only one right now.”
Rarity gulped as she realized her slip of the tongue. “Well...Oops, silly me! I guess I’ve been working too hard!” The pony cleared her throat and returned to her sewing machine, feeding the fabric through while working the components with her own magical talents. “Still, things are going quite nicely over there. I really should think about some gowns for Princess Luna. Matching her coat color will be difficult, but I do love a challenge.”
“Sounds great!” Sweetie said, her voice cracking on the last word. “And how about the tax extension?”
The fabric twisted about ninety degrees to the left. “T-Tax extension?”
Sweetie shrugged. “You know, the reason you went?”
The fashionista made some small gurgling noises as she realized her tremendous oversight. “C-Call Applejack! Rainbow Dash! Fluttershy! EVERYPONY! We have to go back now! The financial future of our lives depends on it!”
----------
The two alicorns stared at each other in near silence. Only the sound of their breathing broke the tense atmosphere filling the chamber. Twilight and Pinkie, seeing a potential disaster this could be, started to backpedal out of the room. “Well, I guess we’ll leave you two princesses alone then. I’m sure you two can work things out.”
“And I’d better see hugging when I get back!” Pinkie warned jokingly.
The two non-royal ponies slowly closed the doors behind them. That left two ponies sitting alone in a study, with the crackling from the fireplace as the only sound either could hear. That, and their own pounding hearts. Neither dared to make a move for quite a while, or even to look each other in the eye.
Finally, Luna rubbed her front fetlocks together, batting an eye at nothing in particular. “So…this is wonderful weather we are having.”
Celestia bobbed her head along. Her own anxiety was more than a match for her sister’s. “Oh yes. It is a tad chilly, though.”
“I noticed that as well. I think we are allowing too much of a breeze to sweep in from the Northlands. We might want to confer with the Pegasus Counsel on that.”
“Still, it is a lovely day. Maybe once things are not so busy, we could take a hike in Whitetail Wood. I hear it’s lovely this time of year.”
“That’s right near Ponyville, correct? I have been meaning to make another trip there. I mean, besides my promised one next Nightmare Night.”
“Oh, you really should. There’s this little sweet shop called Sugar Cube Corner, just off the main street? The cupcakes there are like heavenly bliss melted into dough!”
The two let out a nervous, forced laugh before returning to sighing and looking away from each other. Celestia’s hooves and wings twitched a little as she looked up at the seemingly terrified pony before her, while Luna’s mane lost much of its sparkle as she glanced at her filly of a sister. Neither one dared move; even the very act of blinking felt several times more difficult than it truly was.
The silence was only shattered when Luna cleared her throat. Her voice was labored, while her choice of words was far more careful than before. “Twilight Sparkle has informed me about your earlier conversation with her, and that you do not wish to return to the throne.”
Celestia gulped. She knew where this was going to be headed, and she feared for her other cheek. “Y-Yes, I did say that. However…”
“Hold,” Luna said sternly. She levitated over a small pile of ancient documents, no doubt dating back to when the sisters had overthrown Discord. “I have been looking over the legality of your wishes, and there is nothing to bar you from abdicating the throne. You will have to forfeit your title of ‘Princess,’ and under the law will lose all the rights granted to a member of the royal household. All such powers and responsibilities will be granted to me as the next in line.”
Celestia sighed. “Luna…”
“However, the law is so ancient that it can hardly be applicable to this modern age.”
The filly alicorn’s eyes popped open. That was hardly what she had expected her sister to say, at this moment or in any situation ever. “Huh?”
The old documents floated aside, landing softly in a neat stack on the nearby desk. In their place came another pile of parchments, this time looking like something she had pulled from the Royal Stationary Cabinet an hour ago. “I have prepared some amendments to the current laws regarding these matters. While your title and royal duties will be forfeit, you will not have to give up all rights as a member of this family.”
“Wh-What do you mean?” Celestia asked.
“Because the cure is now available, how we proceed is at your discretion.” Luna flipped through a few of the pages, stopping at a small list of options now applicable to this situation. She cleared her throat, adopting a far more business-oriented tone. “If you wish to return to your adult form, I have the full power to grant you with an allowance, land, housing, or anything else you will require. If you wish to return to more limited duties, I can also grant you any title you wish, and you shall be given the same respect and responsibilities owed to your position. I would only ask that you continue to control the sun’s orbit. The continued rotation of our celestial bodies predates our royal offices by thousands of years, and thus does not fall under the duties expected as outlined in Equestria’s Constitution.”
The moon princess then flipped to the next page, detailing an alternative proposal. “If you do not wish to be cured, we can instead ensure you have an excellent environment to grow up in. I will not throw you into an orphanage, nor will I force you to leave the castle if you do not wish to. You can choose who you wish to have as a parent, where you would like to be educated, or even what matter of employment you would like to attempt upon adulthood. Again, however, we would ask that you resume controlling the sun once your ability to use magic returns.”
Luna floated the paperwork aside, and for the first time since the incident managed to look Celestia straight in the eyes. “It is your decision to make, sister.”
Celestia stared up at Luna in astonishment. “You cannot expect me to believe that you want me to leave, can you?”
There was no anger in Luna’s head shake, only a resigned grief. “I do not. Ruling these last few days has been more draining than I had thought possible. But that is my punishment for what I did to you. I will shoulder whatever burden is needed to keep Equestria safe. What you do with your life is up to you.”
The princess shied away from her sister. “I…I have treated you terribly these last few days. I was so worked up over what might go wrong or how you had hurt me that I forgot how much I really do care for you. We may have had our disagreements over the millennia, but you were never truly malicious, or cruel, or terrible in what you did. You are one of the bravest, wisest ponies I know, and I do not wish to lose that. But if I have really been such a terrible sister, then it is what I deserve.”
Celestia took a step forward. “Luna…”
“And if you wish to banish me again, then it is what I deserve as well.”
Now Celestia was confused. “Wh-WHAT?!”
“A thousand years ago, I tried to kill you and destroy Equestria. Thanks to your actions and the Elements of Harmony, our country was safe. But…if I really am uncontrollable, if I really will pose a danger to our subjects, then there’s no choice. All I ask is that you at least reassume your adulthood. That way, our ponies will not have to suffer because of my foalishness.”
Having said her piece, Luna laid herself upon the ground, her face leveling with Celestia’s. She closed her eyes, readying herself for whatever terrible fate her vengeful sister would have in store for her.
Celestia was dumbstruck by what she had just heard. The possibilities her sister had laid out were tempting to say the least. Being able to experience the modern world as a non-princess was something she had dreamed of for so long, ever since she had first trapped herself inside this gilded cage of a job. Just being outside for a few hours was enough to awaken her to the vast opportunities laying out there, just waiting for the princess to seize them between her hooves.
And yet…
“I…I don’t want to banish you.”
Luna’s eyes slowly opened, as if she was having trouble deciding whether or not this was just some strange dream she was having. “Y-You sounded so sure before…”
“Did you really believe I would ever do such a thing again?” Celestia said. She let out a mournful sigh and walked past her sister, stopping at the table where Luna had set down her own plans for the two. One quick hop later, she was seated in the comfy chair, her back turned to her sister. “I never meant to banish you, nor did I wish it. Those thousand years you were gone were the most horrible years of my existence. And it wasn’t because I had to manage both day and night by myself. It only took a decade or two before I had everything under control. No, it was because you weren’t there.”
Celestia buried her face in her hooves. “You were the only pony I could confide in, the only one that actually saw me as I really was. Once you were gone, I lost a piece of myself. I became more isolated, more cold, and perhaps even a little tyrannical for a while. The only thing I cared about was finding a way to bring you back. And look where that got us.”
Luna quietly took a seat next to her sister, stretching out one leg until their hooves touched. “It is all right. I do not blame you for what happened. It may have hurt, but…you had to make sure our country survived.”
All Luna’s reassurances accomplished was making Celestia feel worse. “A-And then, I snatched up a colt just so I could pull off some stupid scheme. I twisted his mind, broken his spirit, and then let him run rampant over Equestria! And when I finally got off my lazy flank to deal with him, what did I do?” She sobbed a few times. “I killed him! I snapped his neck like a celery stalk!”
Luna reached over her other forehoof. “Once again, you should not blame yourself. You made mistakes with Kuchen, but his actions were his alone. Remember, we may be more powerful than the average princess, but we are not all-knowing. We cannot possibly fix every single problem that will ever pop up in Equestria. We just have to do the best we can and hope that everything works out sometimes.”
Celestia looked up towards her sister. “Since when did you become so good at lecturing?”
Luna smiled. “Well, I have been living with the best teacher since before even the first dragons existed. I may have picked up a tidbit or two during that time.”
Celestia smiled, but the aura of sadness did not fade away. “Thank you, but I have to face reality. I have been shouldering the burdens of this country for far too long. I just don’t think I have the strength to keep it up anymore.” She turned towards the roaring fire, her eyes just barely catching that poor forlorn orange book cover smoldering in the flames. “To be honest, there were days I really just wanted to walk away from it all, maybe give that democracy thing a try again, and head off to wander the world again. I have so wished to see the savannahs and volcanoes we helped forge again, but then it turns out a princess setting foot on another nation’s land is cause for an ‘International Incident.’”
Luna rose from her seat and walked between her sister and the fireplace, both to make herself seem more intimidating by the firelight, and also to stop Celestia in case she decided to take a headlong dive into the inferno. “Do you hate being a princess this much?”
Celestia took pause briefly before letting out a mournful sigh. “It’s not that I hate being princess. I love watching our ponies grow in safety and comfort. I have dedicated much of my life to ensuring the continued prosperity of our fair land. But if I really am such a terrible ruler like the papers say, then I do not deserve to remain in power.”
Luna took a seat next to the filly. “Celestia…do you remember the Zebra-Griffon Peace Treaty?” Celestia nodded. “Who was it that spent twenty years travelling back and forth between the two nations, trying to stop a centuries-old cold war, and all because it was the right thing to do? And best of all, who actually ended the hostilities and saved both nations from a blood, pointless war?”
Celestia’s frown deepened. “Th-That has nothing to do with...”
“And who was it that single-hoofedly marched into a dragon’s cave and rescued over a dozen ponies before they could be turned into dinner?”
“B-But that doesn’t…”
“And how about this?” Luna floated over a large, rolled-up parchment and unfurled it upon the table, revealing a large map of modern Equestria and its closest neighbors. Luna circled her hoof over a small patch of land constituting Canterlot and some of the surrounding regions. “When we first became princesses, our land was this small. We had almost no viable farmland left, many of the pegasi had vanished from Equestria altogether, and few ponies trusted us enough for anything to be done. We were an easy target for the rest of the region, all of whom blamed us for Discord.”
She then circled a slightly larger area, adding in Cloudsdale, Ponyville, and parts of Trottingham. “A thousand years ago, our country was this large. We were somewhat better off, and had a better chance at growing food, but we were still struggling. Even with the two of us working together, it was nearly impossible to manage Equestria.”
Celestia sniffed. “Oh yes, I remember those days.”
“And now?” Luna motioned a hoof across the entire map. “Our little land has increased exponentially since then. We have more than enough to feed our subjects, there are no more wars, and we have confined most of the monsters to the Everfree Forest where they cannot harm another pony.”
Celestia sighed. “If you’re trying to convince me I’m not a bad princess, you’ll have to do better than that.”
Luna willed her magic to roll the map back up and set it in place. “And how about the Equestrian Public Education System? School is no longer the privilege of the wealthy or lucky, but everypony. There have been only six wars of note in a thousand years, and all of them were won quickly and decisively. Our population has grown in size at a rate neither of us could have dreamed of. Ponies are living longer, happier lives because of things you set into motion. Not me, but you. And just because you made a few mistakes does not mean you have to give up everything.”
Celestia rubbed her eyes as she looked towards her sister. “B-But so many ponies are upset.”
“Then you have to do what I am still doing,” Luna said. “You will have to prove yourself to them, win back their trust. For the first time in our lives, you have an actual challenge. Not from an evil god or a monster, but from your own actions and your own subjects. And if I can win some accolades, I am certain you can do the same. Your ponies love you, sister. Never forget that.”
The storm of emotions building inside Celestia began to calm as Luna’s words sank in. She could recognize them almost immediately; after all, they were the same things she had said to cheer Luna up when ponies began to disregard her work. In fact, Luna seemed quite different as well. Gone was the raging monster that had locked her away and struck her. Instead, she was now sitting before what felt like a grown mare not unlike herself, wise and powerful. She couldn’t help but feel how Luna must have felt for all those millennia, standing before somepony that seemed to know everything.
“Luna….I….”
The filly could take no more. She leaped onto Luna so hard both ponies went tumbling backwards in a big pile. “I’m so sorry! It’s all my fault! I was being so selfish that I couldn’t think about how much I was hurting you! And…And I’m sorry I called you Nightmare Moon! You’re not a monster, Luna!””
Luna was dumbstruck at first, unable to comprehend her filly sister sitting on her barrel and sobbing. When her actual sense of consciousness returned, she wrapped her forelegs around the filly, curling her wings so they formed an additional barrier. “No, it is I who should be apologizing. I should have tried speaking to you before doing something like this. And I am sorry I slapped you. I promise, I will never do something like that again.”
Celestia looked up from her sister’s chest. “You know what? We both messed up. But that’s going to change from now on.”
“A-Are you still going to abdicate?” Luna asked hesitantly.
The filly shook her head. “No. I’ve learned my lesson. I’m going to be an even better ruler from this day forth. And with you by my side, I know we can make Equestria an even greater place for all our…ponies…”
Celestia’s face fell into a deep depression. Luna recognized it almost immediately. “What’s wrong?”
“Lofty,” Celestia muttered. “I…I have to talk to her. She deserves to know I’m not going to be like this anymore. W-We can’t turn me back yet. Not until morning, at least.”
Luna sighed and rolled over, causing Celestia to hop off to avoid being crushed. “Very well. Miss Dream returns to work tomorrow. We shall speak to her then.” She rose to her hooves and stretched. “Still, this nightmare is almost at an end. I cannot wait for the day I call you a big sister again.”
“Yeah,” Celestia sighed.
Luna noticed her hesitation. She leaned in worriedly. “What’s wrong?”
“Well…there was just so much I wanted to do,” Celestia said. She kicked at the floor with one leg. “I never got to have a sleepover, or have a real birthday party, or even get a coltfriend…”
Luna raised a hoof in protest. “I would not allow it in any case. You are five thousand years too young for one of those right now.”
Celestia barely suppressed a laugh. “Aw yes, of course. But the thing I really wanted to do…was spend some time with you.”
Luna face fell. “I beg your pardon?”
“I…I never really got to play with you ever,” Celestia sighed. “Things were too dangerous when you were young, and by the time you could take care of yourself other circumstances came about. I just thought it would be fun to do something together, while we still could.”
Luna was very quiet while her mind worked through her schedule. The entire thing was full, down to her oncoming night court. Then it hit her. “You know, we were not planning to do much tonight. The nobles can look over the upcoming tax tables by themselves an extra night. That should leave the night free.”
Celestia’s pupils widened with joy. “You mean…”
Luna leaned in closer and nuzzled her sister on the cheek. “Yes. We are going to celebrate your last night as a filly. Come, we have so much to do.”
The two quickly trotted up to the door, pushing it open right into the muzzles of the eavesdropping Twilight and Pinkie. Neither even seemed to notice until Twilight tapped Celestia, the unicorn’s nose still throbbing with pain. “Well? How’d it go?”
“I believe things will be calming down between us,” Luna said. Twilight was shocked to see the night princess smiling, and not the wry grin she often carried, but rather a full-toothed smile as wide as a mile.
“Luna has agreed to one more night like this,” Celestia said. “The cure can wait until tomorrow.”
Twilight and Pinkie looked at each other, victory written all over their faces. They then turned back to the waiting princesses. “Well, you guys have fun!” said Pinkie. “I’m gonna turn in early. I gotta coordinate with my party committee on what kind of party to throw you tomorrow. Have a good night!” And with that, Pinkie dashed off into the night.
Luna and Celestia looked at the vanishing dust cloud in confusion. “D-Did she say she had a committee?” Luna asked.
Twilight shrugged. “It’s a long story. But I should probably get some sleep, too.”
“Actually, Twilight?” said Celestia. “There’s something you might want to consider doing.”
Twilight raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Really?”
“This will probably be your last night in Canterlot for a while,” Celestia said. “I think there are two ponies that you really should consider visiting. It has been quite a while since they saw head or tail of you.”
The unicorn was quiet at first, not quite realizing what Celestia had just said. When it dawned on her, however, she felt more than a little guilty that she had not thought of it first. “Y-You’re right. I really should give them a visit.”
“You’re very lucky to have them,” Celestia said. She turned to the waiting Luna. “Well, shall we?”
“Yes!” Luna’s outburst shook the entire hall, rattling portraits and cracking windows. Embarrassed, the princess covered her mouth for a few moments before continuing. “I mean, yes. The fun will not wait for us, after all!”
The two took off galloping down the halls, startling more than a few other ponies in the process. Both seemed so happy, so full of love for each other, that it would have hardly seemed they had been fighting at all. And if anything positive could have come out of this nightmare, this was it.
For the first time in over a thousand years, Celestia and Luna were more than sisters.
They were friends.
----------
It took all of Twilight’s confidence to knock on the door. It took even more to avoid running away when the home's occupant, a white unicorn with a striped purple-and-white mane, answered. “Hello? Can I help- TWILIGHT?”
The house’s other occupant, a purple stallion, came galloping to the entryway at the name. “Honey, is that you?”
Twilight waved nervously at the couple. “H-Hello, mom. Hello, dad. C-Can I come in?”
----------
Blueblood eyed the pictures with renewed confidence in his scheme. When his spies had snuck the photos in with the afternoon mail, he had expected the worst. But not only were they not found by the guards locking him inside his own home, but they were the proof he needed to bring down not only Celestia, but Luna as well.
Tomorrow morning, victory would be his.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Chapter 14 Chapter 16
My Little Alicorn
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Seventeen
It was several minutes before Celestia’s eyes could fully adjust to the space around her. The mist and blinding explosion had left stars in her eyes, but even before the blurry sights around her could return to normal, she could feel the changes. Old injuries and pains, all of which had been absent as a filly, returned in an instant; it was a miracle the princess did not collapse immediately. Her muscles felt like they had been stretched and pulled in every possible direction, as well as a few even she had not thought possible. There was a throbbing pain in her forehead, as if her horn had been grasped and pulled out by some invisible force. A steady beating sound and rush of wind could be heard and felt at each of her sides, and her hooves were as shaky as her breath.
It was just as the last of the little white dots vanished that reality finally homed in on Celestia. She was still standing in Luna’s bedroom, but everything was quite a bit shorter than it was before. In fact, so was the dark blue alicorn standing before her. Luna’s eyes were locked on her sister’s changed form, taking in the familiar figure before her with a mixture of joy and dread.
“I…I do believe it worked,” Celestia said slowly.
Luna barely resisted the urge to squeal as she threw herself upon her sister, nuzzling her older sister’s neck in joy. “I…I missed you so much!”
Celestia smiled. “I’ve missed you…”
“TWILIGHT!”
The two sisters turned towards the rest of the ponies assembled. The five Ponyvillians, Ruby and Lofty were assembled around two downed foals. It did not take Celestia and Luna long to recognize the two as Twilight Sparkle and Prince Blueblood, now both at the same (relative) age Celestia had been only moments before. The alicorns took a step back in alarm as the filly and colt began to awaken.
Twilight was the first one to snap back to the conscious world. The filly yawned and stretched her tiny legs, her waking form barely acknowledging the crumbled suit she was in. Her eyes naturally drifted upwards, towards the now much bigger Princess Celestia, and her mouth popped open in a surprised smile at the sight. “PRINCESS! The counterspell worked!”
“Why…yes, I suppose it did,” Celestia stammered.
Twilight continued to grin…until her attention drifted slightly to the left. The moment she caught how much bigger Princess Luna was, a memory she had tried to push out of her brain came charging back like a runaway train. Panic welled up inside the filly as she spun around, catching all of her much bigger friends, the enlarged attendant, and the Pegasus pony that was now her size.
“Wh-Wh-What happened?!” she gasped. Then her hoof caught the small tear in her suit. Even with her brain a few sizes smaller, it didn’t take the Unicorn long to recognize the exact series of steps that had led to this point. “Y-You mean…”
Rarity glared at the still-rising Blueblood. “That…That ruffian of a brute that dares to call himself a prince must have torn a hole in your suit.”
“Th-Then all the magical energy the spell dispersed must have gone through the tear and…and…”
Luna’s horn was at work almost immediately, scanning the two. Her widening eyes told the whole story. “Th-This is not right!”
“What happened?” Applejack asked.
The younger alicorn wiped the swear from her brow as she continued. “It is not the same spell from when the Elements were used! When the enchantment was removed from Celestia, it must have trigged a release of the excess energy keeping her trapped as a filly. It would have faded back into the ether quickly, but if two unprotected ponies were close enough to her when the power was released…”
“C-Can you repeat that for the…less magically-inclined?” said Rainbow Dash.
Celestia’s own horn began a scan, and soon found itself arriving at the same conclusion as Luna’s. “It means that the same power that kept me from changing back naturally is now affecting the both of them!”
Twilight sniffed. She could feel her fear overwhelm her logical reasoning. “Y-You mean we’ll never…”
“YOU CUR!”
Before anypony could react, Blueblood had violently charged ahead at Twilight, slamming into the filly and sending the both of them flying back a few meters. The colt had a crazed look in his eyes as he stood over the stunned filly; obviously being turned back into a foal had done little for his disposition. “You…You cursed me, you witch! I will have your head for this! Nopony harms a prince and get away with iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!”
Blueblood let out a scream as a pair of blue-furred hooves scooped him up and lifted the royal brat up to the ceiling. Rainbow Dash glared as the colt continued to squirm and struggle against her grasp. “Let me go, you filthy Pegasus!”
Dash’s teeth mashed against each other. “You have no idea how much I’d love to do that right now, buddy!”
At the same moment, Fluttershy, along with Spike as a rider, walked underneath the two, stopping right next to Twilight. The filly was barely fighting off the urge to cry, both from the actual damage Blueblood had inflicted and her own outrage at this whole situation. The yellow Pegasus lowered herself next to her younger friend. “Twilight…are you all right?”
Twilight sniffed back a few flustered tears and pressed herself against Fluttershy. “Y-Yeah…”
Spike hopped down from the yellow pony, scratching the side of his head in puzzlement at the sight. “So wait…the whole ‘you turned into fillies’ thing wasn’t just a dream?”
“’Fraid not, Spike,” said AJ. The farm pony, the fashionista, and the party pony quickly trotted up to join in the comfort circle. The dragon was a little standoffish at first, but soon found himself being drawn into the crowd.
Fluttershy smiled…until she felt another body against her side. She turned her head around just in time to see Lofty pressing herself against her fur, a smile on her face. Fluttershy blushed. “Um…excuse me, but…would you mind, um, not doing that right now?” she squeaked.
Lofty sighed and took a few steps back. Her attempt to snuggle up against her idol once again defeated thanks to simple bad timing, the dejected filly walked back to her waiting (and rather disapproving) mother.
Dash would have joined in, but she still had her hooves full with Blueblood. “I command you, LET ME GO THIS INSTANT!”
The Pegasus grimaced as the colt’s squirming and attitude became more and more intolerable, but soon caught some measure of relief. The two sisters had moved themselves underneath the two, their eyes narrowed on the prince. Celestia and Luna looked at each other, nodded, and then turned back to the flying pair. “You may release our troublesome nephew, Rainbow Dash,” said Luna.
The Pegasus’ growl disappeared. In its place was the mischievous smile of a cat just before it pounced on its prey. “Whatever you say, Your Highness!”
Rainbow Dash’s hooves pulled apart like she was holding a boiling potato. Blueblood quickly realized the folly of his earlier demands as gravity took hold, sending the colt tumbling to the ground. The other ponies gasped in horror; even Rarity could not help but feel sorry for the doomed former token of her affection. The fear turned to relief, however, as a golden yellow field of energy enveloped the colt mere inches from the ground, slowing his fall and plopping him safely on his rear
Blueblood sighed in relief…and then gasped as he saw his “savior” standing overhead. For the first time this entire confrontation, the prince realized that his dear Aunt Celestia, the same one he had tried to foalnap only moments earlier, was now not only an adult again, but was not looking at all pleased with her nephew. “Prince Blueblood, would you mind explaining what drove you to desecrate the sanctity of your office with your actions today?”
The terrified colt stammered and pointed a hoof first at the Ponyvillians, and then at Luna. “Th-These are the peasants that destroyed the Grand Galloping Gala! When you refused to pass sentence on them, I had no recourse but to ask Princess Luna. And SHE banished me to my household rather than see logic! There was no alternative, Aunt Celestia-”
“That’s PRINCESS Celestia to you.” The entire room quaked at the pitch in Celestia’s voice, and if a pony looked close enough at the sky, a tiny burst of fire would have seemed to poke out of the sun for just a tiny moment before subsiding. “I have never seen a member of the royal household behave in such a way in my entire life! I tried being diplomatic, I tried telling you to drop the issue, but it seems you are just too stubborn to see any reason.”
“And don’t forget being a royal pain!” Rarity shouted from the back. The others glanced at her rather worryingly, prompting a shrug from the Unicorn. “What? He was.”
Blueblood waved his forehooves desperately in Rarity’s direction. “There, you see? How can you allow such an insult to our noble blood to go unpunished? That rude little creature should-”
The prince yelped as a purple creature seemingly popped out of nowhere in front of him. The dragon’s fangs were barred and his eyes crossed, scaring the colt even more. “And just what do you think you’re saying about the fair lady Rarity?”
“The dragon!” Blueblood screamed. He scampered back on his behind about a meter before skidding right into a baffled Ruby Dream. “Quick! Somepony slay that beast before he can devour any of us!”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed even more. From within her circle of friends, Twilight wished she could still use the full extent of her powers, just so she could give Blueblood the shellacking he deserved for such a statement. Spike could feel a fireball brewing in his gut, and it took all of Rarity’s decorum to hold back to urge to throttle the colt by his scrawny neck. “Blueblood…I happened to help raise that ‘beast,’” Celestia admonished. “I would recommend that you watch yourself right now. You are already in enough trouble.”
“B-But…” Blueblood could feel a burning beneath his eyes.
“So wait, he’s the mean pony that tried to beat us up?” Lofty asked confusingly.
A startling transformation coursed through Ruby as the words struck her ears. The Pegasus mare leaned over until her eyes were perfectly locked with Blueblood’s. “You…tried to hurt my Lofty?”
“Sh-She was in the way!” Blueblood screeched. “It was her fault for being there!”
Ruby did not blink, or even appear to breathe for that matter, as she spoke in a harsh, demonic voice. “Now listen here, you spoiled, pompous runt! Nopony…BUT NOPONY…TRIES TO HURT MY BABY LOFTY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!”
The mare pulled her head back up and gave the colt a smooth kick, sending him flying right to his aunts’ hooves. The small foal looked up, teary-eyed, as his menacing aunts. “P-Please! Make them stop!”
“I am afraid that is not the end of the matter,” Luna said. “I had a very interesting chat with your employees during their blackmail attempt. They have not only agreed to give testimony against you in the coming trial, but they have surrendered evidence of many of their other dealings with you and the other nobles. I believe that with enough time, this spy ring you have been amusing yourselves with will be dismantled.”
Blueblood could feel his defeat. He hung his head sadly as reality crushed in on all sides. “N-No…this can’t be…”
Celestia shook her head. “I’m sorry, Blueblood. I really wished things could have been different, but you leave me no choice. For your admitted acts of conspiracy against the crown, your title and holdings are considered forfeit. Your disgraced personage shall not be allowed within the walls of Canterlot Castle until such a time that you have proven yourself worthy to approach us again.”
The colt could restrain himself no more. He threw himself upon his aunt’s hooves, sobbing like the small foal he was. “Please, I beg of you! I’ll…I’ll never do anything like this again! I’ll be a good pony from now on! Just don’t make me…normal!”
Celestia was quiet for a short while, just staring at her distraught nephew in a profound sadness. It was with great reluctance that she turned to her sister. “Luna...I believe an additional punishment is in order.”
Luna nodded. “Of course, sister.”
The alicorn trotted out towards the door, opened the entrance, and then turned back to her nephew. The colt shouted as his far scarier aunt’s telekinesis grabbed him by the ear and pulled him away from Celestia. The mare then trottred away, dragging the crying Blueblood behind her.
Nopony moved for quite a while, waiting for the sobs to vanish before speaking again. “So…what are you gonna do with him?” Rainbow asked.
“I have something in mind,” Celestia said. Her mood suddenly lifted. “But now, I believe Pinkie Pie mentioned something about a party?”
Pinkie snapped to attention at the word “party.” “Absolutely! Meet me in the Palace Ballroom in an hour, and be ready to shake your hoof thing!” The pony zoomed away immediately after finishing that sentence, leaving the rest of the room’s occupants rather befuddled by the turn of events.
“Well…I guess that gives us an hour to get ready!” Celestia said. “Everypony please feel free to wash up beforehoof. I am certain this will be a most wonderful party.” She then turned to her smiling student. “Twilight Sparkle, I would like to speak to you in private.”
The other ponies quickly cantered out of the room, ready and eager for whatever festivities had been planned. Soon, it was only Twilight and Princes Celestia left in Luna’s bedroom. The filly took a few small, nervous steps towards her teacher. “So…can we use the counterspell to turn Blueblood and myself back to normal?”
“I believe so,” Celestia said. “This time, though, we need to find protection that won’t rip so easily.”
The two of them giggled at the princess’ small joke. “Well, I guess that’s it, then,” Twilight said. “You can change me back now…”
“Actually, there was one matter we still had to discuss,” Celestia said. Her voice and features suddenly became very solemn, setting the filly’s fur on edge. “A few days ago, you happened to burn one of my books, remember?”
Twilight gulped. “Oh...that. B-But it was my mom’s, and she said it was all right, so...”
“But you still committed an act of arson,” Celestia sighed. “And as Princess of Equestria, I cannot allow such a flagrant violation of the law to go unpunished.”
Twilight hunched over into a little ball. She could already feel Magic Kindergarten clicking at her hooves. “P-Please! I…I’ll do whatever you want! Just don’t…”
“As Princess Celestia of Equestria, I hereby sentence Twilight Sparkle to…”
Celestia’s magic locked in on the nearby wooden chest, flicking it open with ease. “…Play a little dress-up with me!”
Twilight pulled her head from the fuzzy ball she was close to becoming. “Huh?”
----------
Bluebloods yells and screeches echoed throughout the halls, his body doing everything it could to fight the force pulling on his ear. Luna, however, proved to be a far more capable foe than he could have ever imagined, and her magid did not wane for even a moment. “Let me go, you fiend! I will not allow you to-”
“Nephew, if you want to live to see another sunrise, you will keep your mouth shut this instant!” Luna growled. She didn’t even bother to look at the terrified little colt, instead simply dragging him along into the very depths of the palace, down the ancient stairwells that led to the Canterlot dungeons.
Blueblood’s eyes widened with terror as he bounced along the stone staircase. The room grew increasingly dark, with only the light of Luna’s magic to keep showing the way. The princess paid it no heed, but to the colt it felt like being dragged into Tartarus itself.
When they reached the bottom, his worst fears were seemingly confirmed. Sitting before the two were several empty cells, having obviously fallen into disuse over the centuries. Blueblood’s struggles became more frantic as the two stepped inside one of the cages. “N-No! Please don’t…”
Luna sighed as her magic hoisted the deposed prince onto the wooden bench. “I want you to sit here and think about what you have done. Celestia will retrieve you once she believes you have learned your lesson.”
The white colt stared up from the bench in surprise. “Y-You mean you aren’t going to throw me on a rack or hang me from my hooves?”
“Of course not,” Luna said. “Despite what you may believe, I do not enjoy seeing any of my subjects suffer, even if they are fools. Nonetheless, Princess Celestia will be down here later to pass judgment. Until then, I recommend you reflect on what has led you to this point in your life.”
With that, Princess Luna strolled out of the cell, slamming the door behind her with just a gentle push of magic. The same spell worked its way through the keyhole, sealing the only way out shut. Blueblood hopped down from the bench and galloped to the bars, wrapping his legs around the iron rods and shaking in a desperate bid for attention. It was all in vain. Whatever affection Luna had held for the colt was currently snuffed out by such outrage at his actions that she could not even bear to look at him any longer.
Without another word, she departed up the staircase to the actual palace, leaving Blueblood alone in the darkness…
----------
Twilight growled as she stared at the mirror. Her indignation was matched only by the fiery red dress her teacher had forced her to put on. Celestia barely stifled a roar of laughter at the sight. “Oh, Twilight Sparkle! You are just sooooooo adorable!”
“Yes, adorable,” Twilight mumbled. She looked up at the smirking Princess Celestia, a heavy frown on her face. “D-Do I really have to do this?”
“I am afraid so,” Celestia said. She bent over and nuzzled the filly, calming Twilight down just a little. “Don’t worry about it too much, my beloved student. Don’t you think this is a much better punishment than rebinding and shelving every book in the Canterlot Archives twice over?”
Twilight gasped. “Y-You mean that was going to be my punishment?”
“Well, I really cannot play favorites, can I?” Celestia said with a smile. “If everypony knew they could get out of trouble with just some cake and a few fine words, we would have no order left to speak of.”
The Unicorn frowned at the thought. “I…I see…”
“And besides, I couldn’t really punish you.”
Twilight’s eyes suddenly lit up. “What?”
Celestia turned towards the mirror, her eyes closed in that authoritative way that signaled an incoming lecture. “What you did was wrong, but I can understand why you would react in such a way. And besides, you have already done so much for my sister and I these last few days. You have even created a new spell, one that we used to avert the loss of one of Equestria’s princesses. I believe that is more than enough community service.”
“And…what about my parents?” Twilight asked.
“You are very lucky to have somepony to take care of you,” Celestia answered. “I had to raise Luna from infancy by myself. We never had anypony to comfort us when times were tough, or when disaster seemed to loom at every corner. My time in the cave reminded me of that fact, and I couldn’t bear the thought of you making another visit to Canterlot without at least stopping by their home for a short while. You are a very special pony because they raised you properly, and were it not for their support you would have never found yourself in Ponyville with your friends. I just hoped you would realize that.”
Twilight blushed and smiled. “Th-Thank you, Princess. I’m just glad this is all over. As much as I love it here, I can’t wait to go home. At least nothing else can go…”
The door suddenly creaked open, allowing Lofty and Ruby to step into the room. “Excuse me, Your Higness,” the adult said, “but the party should be starting…soon.”
The two ponies froze as they saw Twilight’s current outfit. The older Pegasus blushed from the sheer cuteness of the whole scene, while the younger had to fight off the laughter threatening to burst free from her lips. The humiliated Unicorn quickly slid around behind Celestia. “L-Let’s just get this over with.”
----------
By the time the small party had all gathered at the ballroom doors, Pinkie had already been hopping back and forth for almost the full half-hour. Despite the obvious exertion she was under, there was no indication that the pink pony would be stopping anytime soon. In fact, she seemed even more hyped than ever, as if she had downed an entire fruit punch bowl after spiking the thing with more sugar than could be safely recommended for consumption.
The rest of the visiting Ponyville gang was already assembled by the time Celestia and her entourage had emerged from the Moon Princess’ quarters. Luna had joined just a short time later, her anger cooled to “slightly annoyed” levels. Needless to say, Twilight’s appearance was met with no small measure of laughter and gentle mocking from her now-older friends, causing the filly to blush and silently bemoan her current situation. “Yeah sure, laugh it up,” she muttered.
“I-I’m sorry!” Rarity snorted. “But that dress…that body…it all looks so…*gah*…CUTE!”
Rainbow was laughing so hard her wings seized up, sending her tumbling to the ground on her back. The Pegasus didn’t miss a beat, however, choosing instead to roll about on the stone ground in her hysterical fit. “Oh, this is just too RICH!”
“It’s not that funny!” Twilight snapped.
The filly’s protest was met with a gentle hooftap to the head from Applejack. “It’s nothin’ ta be upset about! I mean, we all were little once ourselves!” She paused in mid-thought. “In fact, weren’t y’all fillies just a day or so ago?”
Through pained tears, Rainbow raised herself on her back. “Yeah, but we were more awesome than this! At least we didn’t have to parade around all fancy like that!”
“Yeah, I never realized you were such a dork as a foal!” Spike rudely added.
Fluttershy said nothing. It was taking every bit of her energy to avoid swooping up the filly and hugging her until every last drop of air escaped from her lungs.
Twilight looked up at the watching princesses. Her eyes were beginning to water from the humiliation she was experiencing, and for just a moment Celestia could feel doubt course through her. I never expected them to act…quite like this. Even when I did this to Luna, they never actually laughed at her.
The room grew uncomfortably quiet for a short while, and everpony feared for the worst. That is, until Twilight looked herself over long and well. The small, slightly chubby legs, the mismatched red party dress, and even those little bits of purple in her mane; all of them really did seem rather…cute. The filly snorted a bit, then broke into a roar of raucous laughter herself. “You’re right! I really AM adorable!”
The six ponies broke into a unanimous laugh, smiling and cheering in a way neither princess had seen in some time. The same mares that had been chiding and mocking Twilight now moved forward to embrace her, both out of relief that their good friend was safe and out of regret for making fun of her scant moments before.
From the back, a rather confused Lofty poked at her mother’s flank. “Mom, what’s going on? Weren’t they being mean a second ago?”
Ruby smiled down at the one actual filly in the room. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Lofty scoffed. “That’s your answer for everything! ‘Why is the sky blue?’ ‘Why can’t Unicorns walk on clouds?’ ‘Where do foals come from?’”
Celestia and Luna, meanwhile, simply smiled at the sight. It was no small measure of relief that things had gone as smoothly as they had. Even Twilight now seemed to be having some fun with her situation, gleefully accepting the pats and noogies offered by her compatriots.
“All right, all right, all right!” Pinkie barked. The ponies froze immediately and turned to face the excited party planner. “Now that everypony is back to the way they should be…” She turned to Twilight. “More or less.”
Twilight grumbled. Pinkie continued as if completely oblivious to her friend’s frustrations. “I figured a situation of this magnitude deserves a party that dwarfs all others, a celebration that will make the very heavens tremble at all its glory!” The pink pony reached a hoof up to the castle ceiling. “And to this end, I have busied myself studying every kind of party imaginable, from the tribalist of dances to the fanciest of prances!”
The pony struck a new, overly-dramatic pose with each declaration. “I have learned every culinary art, created every balloon animal, performed every clown act, designed every invitation, and even built party favors the likes of which nopony has ever seen before! All this was for the sole purpose of creating the most fantabulous party ever seen in the city of Canterlot!”
Luna sighed. “Miss Pie, may we please see this party you have planned?”
Pinkie gave a quick bow, then pressed both hooves against the door. “Of course, Your Highness! And now, without further adieu, I give to you…PRINCESS CELESTIA’S ‘WELCOME BACK EVEN THOUGH YOU NEVER REALLY LEFT’ PARTY!”
The door swung open with just a heavy push of the mare’s hooves. Everypony else’s jaws dropped at the sight. Sitting before them was the most elaborate party layout any of them had ever seen. Even amidst the reconstruction, Pinkie had managed to build a chocolate fountain that reached to the very ceiling. Sitting around it were all manners of snacks, ranging from fine cheeses and strawberries to marshmallows and tiny pretzels. Paper lanterns of every color imaginable lined frilly streamers from every column, providing a gentle rainbow glow across the entire chamber. There was plenty of room set aside for a small dance floor, as well as even more tables set out along the perimeter with party favors, hats, and even a few small gifts for the various guests. And then there were the games, with everything from piñatas to apple bobbing tubs all ready and willing to take whatever ponies were brave enough to accept their challenge.
As the ponies filed into the chamber, their mouths still opened in amazement, Pinkie caught a glimpse of Celestia entering last. The pink pony smiled up at her ruler, causing the alicorn to pause. “Well, what do you think? Isn’t this the greatest party you’ve ever seen?”
Celestia did not respond immediately. Her eyes looked around the room, taking in all the different ponies.
Rarity and Applejack were already at the fountain, plunging wooden sticks into the various foods before smothering them with chocolate.
Rainbow Dash and Luna were at one of the piñatas, the later blindfolded and swinging the bat with her mouth like a trained soldier.
Fluttershy and Lofty were at the snack table, the latter eagerly prodding the nervous former with every query she could think of.
Spike had sequestered himself on the dance floor, shaking up a groove that would make many ponies envious.
And Twilight and Ruby were sizing up the gifts, the Pegasus helping the Unicorn filly slip on a party hat.
The Sun Princess smiled. “Pinkie Pie, this is the best party I’ve ever seen.”
----------
It was about an hour into the party when Luna found Celestia again.
The older sister and Twilight had seated themselves a bit farther away from the rest of the party guests, eagerly summing up everything that had happened to them so far. “…And so you say Kuchen is…still inside Pinkie Pie?”
Twilight nodded. “I know it doesn’t sound like the best thing, but it was her decision to make. And besides, she hasn’t poisoned us or anything? I mean, that’s a good thing, right?”
Celestia patted her panicking student on the shoulder. “Has anypony ever told you how easily you worry sometimes? Whatever he may have done, I’m glad he had the chance to atone for his sins, whatever the circumstances.” She looked down sadly. “I…I still wish it was I who saved him sometimes. If I hadn’t been so foolish, perhaps he would have never gone down the dark path he did.”
Luna sighed, catching the two’s attention. “I thought we talked about this. You cannot keep blaming yourself for one pony’s actions. No matter what happened, it was his choices that are to blame, not yours.”
Celestia looked away sadly. “That still doesn’t mean I can’t bear some of the blame.”
Twilight was equally nervous about the subject. “I…I guess whatever happens now, Kuchen is gone for good. Or at least, the part that was in Pinkie’s head.” The filly groaned and rubbed her forehead. “Aargh, this is so aggravating!”
“It always is when you discover new magic,” Celestia said. “In any case, Kuchen will no longer find himself living through one Pie.”
Luna cleared her throat. “And there is another issue we have to discuss. We cannot keep the fact that you have…‘returned’ hidden for long. Our subjects deserve to know the truth.”
“Yes,” Celestia said depressingly. “Yes, they deserve to know that things will be back to normal.”
The white alicorn looked up as she felt a hoof touch her own. Luna’s gaze locked onto her sister, showing the warmest smile she had ever given anypony. “No, things will not be normal. They will be better.”
Celestia smiled back at her sister. “Yes. I suppose we have all grown from this experience. We have been given another chance as sisters, and I shall not let this opportunity pass us by.”
Everypony froze at a sudden crash from the other side of the room. The three ponies spun around towards the piñatas. Lofty was sitting atop her mother’s back, a bat firmly stuck in her mouth, while the broken stuffed toy sat split open on the ground, its candy innards spilled out for all to feast upon. The other ponies cheered the smiling filly on as she spat the wood out and cannonballed onto the pool of treats.
Celestia smiled. “And I suppose I found a friend, as well.”
Twilight grinned at her teacher/princess. “Are you having second thoughts? We have a counterspell now.”
Celestia shook her head sadly. “No, this is how things should be. Lofty has a long life ahead of her, and I still have a far longer one to endure. My time as a filly is over, but at least I have some good memories to reflect on this time. And it’s all because of you, Twilight. If you hadn’t encouraged me to find some enjoyment in all this, I would never have…”
“Um…sister?”
Celestia turned around towards Twilight…or rather, where Twilight had been sitting only moments before. The filly was gone. Curious, the sun princess turned towards her sister, who motioned back towards the candy mess. Sure enough, Celestia’s faithful student had buried herself in a pile of lollipops, gum drops, and even a few candied apples.
Luna shrugged. “She is such a filly.”
Celestia smiled at the laughing Unicorn. “I suppose so.”
----------
The press conference was a hasty affair, with only a few hours’ notice that the thing was even going to occur. The stage was wheeled in from the palace’s backroom, along with a simple podium several sizes too small for either sister. The palace gates were cleared of all traffic, as a small battalion of guards prepared to act as security for Celestia’s speech.
Even with such last-minute preparations, news quickly spread across Canterlot that something was happening at the palace. Before long, the gossip had mutated in a dozen different directions, ranging from Princess Celestia’s grand return to Princess Luna declaring herself Equestria’s sole ruler. Throngs of ponies quickly converged around the stage, their loud murmurs echoing throughout the entire city.
When the clock tower bells struck three, six guards, standing in groups of three, blared out a long series of notes on massive horns. Everypony gasped as they recognized the familiar beats, for they were the calling card of Princess Celestia herself. The same tune preceded the apex of every Summer Sun Celebration, playing at the very moment Celestia raised the sun and began the longest day of the year. The excitement in the crowd swelled to epic proportions, a few ponies even licking their chops in anticipation.
Finally, a familiar beating sound filled the courtyard. Everypony’s eyes glanced upwards as a pair of winged Unicorns lowered themselves onto the stage. The city shook with the force of a thousand hooves as the ponies eagerly stomped their admiration for the two sisters, eliciting a smile from the two alicorns.
The horns stopped, and Celestia stepped up to the podium. The crowd fell silent as the ponies waited for their long-lost ruler to say something. The princess herself took the opportunity to scan the crowd; she could see plenty of eyes looking up in joy, while more than a few seemed either indifferent or a little hostile to Celestia’s sudden reappearance.
Celestia cleared her throat. This isn’t going to be an easy speech. “G-Greetings, my subjects. It is wonderful to be back in Canterlot.”
The princess paused, half-expecting a rotten tomato or apple to come flying for her at any second. When no produce emerged to assassinate her, she continued. “As you know, Princess Luna has been ruling in my stead these last few days. I was…away on a vacation, the first one I have had in many years. And as you have all witnessed, she has proven herself to be a decent – nay, I say, strong – ruler in my stead.”
A small chorus of agreements broke out amongst the ponies, only to be silenced as Celestia continued. “But during my time abroad, I have taken the opportunity to reflect on myself as your ruler. And I have not liked all that I have seen. For generations, I have sat upon Equestria’s throne, watching over both our land and our ponies. And I fear that I may have taken much of it for granted. I lost sight of what a princess is supposed to be, and instead became something I never wished to be.”
She looked at a small group of foals from the hospital, having been allowed outside for this special occasion. “I neglected to visit the weakest and neediest of my subjects, even when they wished for me the most.”
She looked at a nearby huddle of nobleponies, all of whom shied away shamefully from her glance. “I forgot that my actions, or inactions, could have a profound impact on ponies from all walks of life, and that I must think of all my subjects.”
And finally, her gaze turned to her sister. “And worst of all, I had forgotten how much I loved the one pony that had always been there for me. She really has grown into quite the mare, despite her occasional protest to the contrary.” There was a small laugh from the crowd as Luna blushed, her bright red face meshing terribly with her coat’s color.
Her apologies all issues, Celestia turned back to the crowd. “But I promise each and every one of you that things will not be the same anymore. I shall do everything I can to make sure that our land and lives remain safe and content. Never again will I forget that the joy on everypony’s faces are the real rewards for this position. And even if I have made mistakes and poor decisions in the past, I will learn from my mistakes and become an even better princess than before. From this day forth, you shall see a whole new Princess Celestia!”
The crowd exploded into an uproar of applause and stomps. Celestie smiled, inwardly cheering that one of her most hastily prepared speeches ever had been so warmly accepted. Even Luna was swept up in the excitement, trotting up next to her sister and giving her a nuzzle on the cheek. “Come on, big sister. We have a lot of work to do.”
----------
“Are you feeling better?”
Twilight stretched out her now-adult legs, admiring every extra inch of height they gave her. Her horn glowed for no other reason than it could, and her eyes fluttered with rediscovered maturity and grace. “Why yes, I do.”
Celestia smiled. She had gotten the counterspell down perfectly, it seemed. Even if it was a bit draining, it was certainly worth the effort just to make sure her student did not have to repeat school again. The princess quickly stepped out of the suit and nuzzled her student on the back. “Thank you for everything, Twilight.”
Once the two broke contact, Twilight looked back up at her mentor. She smiled as she recognized the warm smile and subtle wrinkles around her face, the telltale signs of a mare that had truly seen and knew just about everything there ever was. It was the same expression that had driven the Unicorn as a filly to study magic as best she could. “Th-Thank you, Princess.”
“Now, you really should be heading back to Ponyville,” Celestia said. “I know your friends are probably already waiting for you, and I don’t want you to miss the last train.”
Twilight smiled and nodded. “Understood. I’ll see you soon, I hope?”
Celestia smiled. “Absolutely.”
Twilight turned to leave, but only managed a few steps before Celestia called to her again. “And tell your friends Applejack and Rarity that their tax extensions should come through with no trouble. The ERS can be tricky at times, but you will be amazed what heroes can get away with.”
The Unicorn’s smile grew. “I’ll be sure to tell them.” And with that, Twilight was gone.
Celestia stared at the door as it slowly closed. A part of her wanted desperately to go to Ponyville after her, but those urges were now much easier to control. Levelheaded responsibility seemed to be ruling the day once again. Goodbye, my faithful student…
She snapped from her reverie as an armored hoof caught the door. One of the Pegasus guards pushed the wooden barrier open, revealing the dirtied, depressing visage of the once-mighty Prince Blueblood, now little more than a young colt. “You asked to see Pr- I mean, Blueblood, Your Majesty?”
Celestia quickly adopted her stern face, the kind she used when lecturing misbehaving students or undisciplined guards. “Yes. Please, show him in.”
The guard unceremoniously pushed the colt into the chamber before slamming the door shut. The colt regarded his dirtied features briefly before glancing pitifully up at his aunt. “P-Princess Celestia…what will you do to me?”
Celestia could feel something break inside as she stared at the terrible sight. The poor colt before her had committed so many crimes in the past that she did not even care to think of a number. His current situation was a direct result of his own actions, and he had nopony to blame but himself. And yet, she could not deny the heartache his pain caused her. No matter how rotten he was in the present, she could still remember the sweet little foal that snuck cookies out of the pantry for her, or stared absentmindedly at her as she drafted one proclamation after another.
He was still family. And, I suppose, family deserves a second chance…
“Blueblood, have you realized what you did was wrong?”
The colt nodded. “Yes.”
“Do you promise to never do anything like this again?”
The colt nodded. “Yes.”
“I wish I could believe that,” Celestia sighed. The colt made no response, verbal or physical. “I’m sorry, but I cannot simply excuse what you have done. Nonetheless, you claim to have learned your lesson, and I cannot dispute that out of hand. Certainly, what has happened to you today is far more…extreme than a simple jail sentence.”
Blueblood looked up sheepishly. “Th-Then what will become of me?”
“There is a kindergarten class about a half-block from the palace,” Celestia said. “I will enroll you in that class for a week or two.”
Blueblood’s lips quivered. “B-But those ponies are so…not noble.”
“And that is exactly the point,” Celestia said. “If you can show me that you have learned something from this experience, and promise to never even mention the possibility of razing Ponyville again, I might agree to remove the spell and give you back some of your status. Keep proving yourself after that, and I can grant you a little bit more. But if you slip from the path, and become the same pony you were before, I can promise you that being a colt will be the least of your worries.”
Blueblood was stunned. He had emerged from the dungeon expecting a flogging, perhaps even a visit to the Rack, but this was something far more troubling. I have to lower myself to the level of commoners? The shame! The scandal! The… Well, what choice do I have? “If that is your wish, then so be it.”
Celestia smiled. “I am glad you are taking this so well. The guards will show you to your chambers. And I want you to remember that, while I may not like all the things you do, I still love you.”
Blueblood smiled. It was the first genuine smile he had given in such a long time, and the first in years without any sense of malice or self-fulfillment behind it. The colt slowly pushed the heavy doors open and followed the guard down the hall. Soon, they were long gone from sight.
Her round of lectures done for the evening, Celestia walked over to the window. She rested her forehooves on the windowsill as she willed the sun down. At the same moment, from elsewhere in the palace, Princess Luna raised up the moon, beginning yet another beautiful night. Soon the sky was covered in a blanket of stars, all of them shining brighter than ever.
The princess sighed. Soon, she would be heading her first nighttime court in a long time. And from there, she would segue right into her daytime duties, just like when Nightmare Moon was banished. There would be more challenges to overcome, but after so many centuries of the same thing over and over, it would be nice to finally have some new challenges.
And besides, there was the matter of those sketches that had mysteriously popped up in the Canterlot Library. They were the only survivors of a valuable collection that had been burnt to the ground years before, and showed the work of a promising young Unicorn who died before he could live up to his genius. Nopony had to know that they were really just shoved in Celestia’s old dresser all these centuries, or that the same Unicorn had written the still-missing Arcanus E Draconus. And besides, I owe him that much.
She watched the beautiful night sky for a little longer, then turned back to her dresser. There, sitting on top of a pile of books, was the recovered figure of General Smashemup. (Or rather, Colonel Buck, as one of the servants corrected her.) She picked up the toy with her telekinesis, bouncing it along the dressertop like the foal she had only been a short while ago.
“Are you having second thoughts?”
Celestia froze as she remembered her student’s words. She was right, after all. They still had the counterspell, and Luna could use the thing at any time. It would be so simple to just have herself zapped again, play around with Lofty some more, and then resume her duties like nothing happened.
But then again, there was so much to accomplish right now.
The princess sadly set the toy aside. Another time, General. For now, get some R&R. Your princess has a country to rule.
And with that, Princess Celestia of Equestria trotted off to face her destiny. It may not have been the most pleasant job, but it was what she and her sister had truly been born to do.
THE END
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
-AND-
A Flagrantly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Blueblood awoke not to the cawing of mysterious birds of indeterminable origin, nor the gentle warmth of Aunt Celestia’s sun. Rather, his return to reality came thanks to the shrill pounding of bells in his ears. With a start, the pony rose halfway, rubbing his eyes with both hooves before slamming one leg down and silencing that infernal alarm clock for yet another day. Stifling yet another undignified yawn, Blueblood stepped off the bed.
And immediately tumbled into a pile of sheets on the wooden floor.
Cursing, the pony pulled himself loose from his wrappings. In his exhaustion, he had forgotten how things had changed in the last day or two. It took only a look into his nearby dressing mirror to remember just how the mighty had fallen.
Sure enough, he was still a little colt.
Blueblood stared and blinked at the mirror, as if it would go away if he just wished hard enough. Alas, he was still intelligent enough to realize just how utterly ruined he was. First, his Aunt Celestia refused to defend his honor and stopped him from razing Ponyville to the ground. Then, his Aunt Luna arrested him for making “threats” against her. And finally, after he had unraveled the schemes and lies surrounding Celestia’s disappearance, he was transformed into a foal, and left utterly humiliated at the hooves of the same ponies that had ruined the Grand Galloping Gala a year prior.
He spun his backside around, his eyes tearing up at the sight of his bare flank. His cutie mark, once the pride and joy of his entire family, had been hidden beneath layers of enchantments. It was the one piece of himself that had survived his transformation, and Celestia had seen fit to take even that solace away.
Blueblood sighed. Remember, you are still Prince Blueblood. It doesn’t matter how many titles or rights your aunts can strip away. You are still the dignified pony you always were, and you will rise to the top of this latest bowl of oatmeal.
“BLUEBLOOD!”
The colt snapped to attention at the gruff voice coming from the other side of the door. With trepidation in his every movement, he turned towards the door. “Y-Yes?”
“Princess Celestia requests your presence in her chambers immediately!”
Blueblood sighed. He had little doubt what she wanted to discuss.
After all, this was his first day of school. Again.
----------
The unicorn guard let out a defiant snort as the door creaked open. Blueblood’s head was the first thing to poke out, his eyes scanning the hallway for any sign of a trap. When he found no spike traps or crushing ceilings waiting for him, he finally took a few steps out of the room. The guard’s telekinesis slammed the door shut the moment the colt was out of range, causing Blueblood to jump and yelp in surprise. “By Celestia, why would you do such a thing?”
The guard displayed no emotion whatsoever. “Do what thing?”
“Slamming the door closed, you oaf!”
The unicorn’s eyes jutted inwards as he regarded the foal before him. “I apologize, but Princess Celestia gave me strict orders to bring you to her immediately. And unlike some ponies, I always obey my princess’ orders.”
Blueblood huffed and fumed, eliciting a sly smile from the guard. “I don’t care what your orders are. I know exactly what she is going to say, and I don’t want to hear it again. Just let me pack up my supplies, and walk out the door to the school.”
The guard titled his head, relishing every last ounce of discomfort he could wring out of the little twerp. “Or…I suppose I could take you to Princess Luna instead. I am certain she would loooove to…hang out with you.”
Princess LUNA?
All the righteous defiance Blueblood had been building up melted like butter under the sun. His lower lip trembled as he silently intoned her name. Luna…the most terrible of all ponies. The monster that had tried to destroy Equestria in a fit of jealousy. The beast that had thrown him into obscurity because of his demands for retribution. The fiend that pulled the ears off colts and left them to die in forgotten cellars. The same one that swore that, if he should ever approach her again, she would chain to the center of the world for all eternity.
The guard gave a cruel smile as he saw Blueblood’s entire body start going slack with fear. The former prince’s voice trembled as he spoke. “V-Very well, then. L-L-Lead on…”
The guard loudly cleared his throat, returning his face to “serious business” mode. “Very well, then. Follow me, and do NOT wander off this time.”
----------
Blueblood stared up at Celestia in stunned silence. It had been days since he had last seen her; most of his time had been spent serving the rest of his house arrest in that small guest room, with only the occasional potty break. But now that he was surrounded by his aunt’s godlike splendor once again, he could not help but feel overwhelmed and terrified. She could easily crush him like an ant, and he knew that. It was part of the reason why he went along with her rather unique punishment.
But still, she was his Aunt Celestia. And even better, Princess Luna was nowhere to be seen.
Celestia loudly cleared her throat, her horn glowing slightly as her magic amplified the noise just enough to ensure the colt was paying attention. Her gaze was cold and detached, like a tyrant out of a foal’s story book. “I trust you understand what will be happening today.”
Blueblood nodded. “Today…I go back to Kindergarten.”
“Magic Kindergarten. And why are you going there?”
The fallen noble let out another groan. “Because I have to learn my place.”
“No, that’s not right at all.” Celestia shook her head sadly. “This is about more than punishments or who did what. This is your chance to atone; not just for your misdeeds these last few days, but for the many other times you have circumvented the law, hurt others, and misused your position for your own ends.”
Blueblood finally worked up the nerve to look up. Celestia’s slanted eyes softened slightly at the growing horror etched across his face. “B-But how am I supposed to do that?”
Celestia closed her eyes, trying to look as authoritative as possible. This was always so much easier with Twilight. “When the time comes, you will understand. It’s not something one can easily explain to another. In the meantime, I want you to spend your time in class wisely. This is a learning experience, and I want you to make the most of it.”
Blueblood’s eyes shifted leftward. “B-But…”
“It’s this, or another trip to the dungeon.”
All doubt immediately vanished from the colt’s body. He hopped to attention, trying his best to hide his terror at what could very well be his destruction. “W-Well, I will try my best.”
“That is all anypony can ask of you.” The princess’ horn glowed with a brilliant golden light. The spectacle was soon followed by another glow, this time from a pair of small saddlebags. On each side was a half-heartedly stitched replica of Pluto, the yellow Alicorn that wasted her natural abilities to fight superpowered evil across Equestria. It was quite popular with younger foals, sitting just behind the Daring-Do series as the most popular books amongst early readers.
That is…that’s what I’ve heard, at least, Blueblood thought. His cheeks turned a deep crimson at the thought of “freaking out” over something so juvenile. Celestia did not fail to notice her nephew’s embarrassment, and it took all her royal decorum to hold back the laughing fit she was feeling inside.
The saddle bags floated over and landed snugly on Blueblood’s back. The colt winced at the sudden weight, causing the contents of the bag to shift. He could hear the rolling of pencils, the scrunching of paper, and the rustling of what sounded like a paper bag. All of these clicked against the bronze-coated clips that kept the flaps shut, giving off a metal ring whenever something hard struck them. That wasn’t what had really grabbed his attention, however. Rather, the very design of the saddle bags seemed to set off alarm bells in his head.
The shoddy construction, the way it barely fit his frame, and the terrible appearance was proof enough. This bag was bought off the shelf.
“I tried to find out what was popular with young ponies,” Celestia said. “And according to a young friend of mine, this character will get you a lot of attention.”
The colt kicked nervously at the ground. He could already feel the long, black tendrils of normality slither their way across his body. The only thing that could make it worse was…
“And there is also the matter of your name.”
Blueblood gasped, his heart stopping dead in its tracks. “B-But Aunt Celestia, why do we have to go that far? Surely nopony will mistake this…form for who I really am, right?”
Celestia did not even acknowledge her nephew’s fear. She instead simply walked over to a nearby credenza and floated out some paperwork. “When I registered you at the school, I took the liberty of creating a new name for you.”
Blueblood’s jaw hit the floor. “Wh-What?! What’s wrong with ‘Blueblood?!’”
“For one thing, it’s your real name. Thanks to your…exploits, just about every tabloid in Canterlot has ran at least one story a month on you. The foals might not recognize you, but their parents are another story.” Celestia shuffled through the papers, stopping when she finally stumbled across the right form. “Tell me, how does ‘Leon’ sound to you?”
Blueblood took a few steps away from the princess. “Leon? That sounds like…a common name. What kind of pony would call themselves Leon?”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed as her voice began to fill with growing spite for the colt. “I chose the name in remembrance of Andronicus León, a very special pony from twelve hundred years ago. Were it not for his actions, none of us would be here today.” Her voice seemed to drop an octave or two. “And a certain colt wouldn’t be standing here complaining about his name.”
Sensing that there was nothing but pain to gain from continuing this conversation, Blueblood wisely decided to shut his trap and return to attention. Once she was certain the colt wasn’t going to press the issue, she returned to her usual smile. “Now, would you like to know more about the school?”
Blueblood nodded an affirmative response, if only to get this over with. Celestia lifted up the documents again, turning the pages until she came across the school’s main flyer. “After looking over the test results and observation reports of every Magic Kindergarten in Canterlot, I finally located the perfect one for you. It’s called the Canterlot Castle Royal Preschool.”
Blueblood raised an eye at this. “That sounds...awfully presumptuous of them. Did they really think that would get them more students?”
Celestia shrugged indifferently. “I suppose it has to do with its location. The school is just a short walk from the palace entrance, so a lot of the staff send their children there out of convenience. There’s one other thing you should know, however.” She lowered the bundle of pages deliberately, her eyes locking onto Blueblood in a soul-burning gaze. “It’s not just a Magic Kindergarten.”
Blueblood titled his head. “Y-You mean, I have to go to school with non-unicorns?” The indignity!
“Our education system, like the rest of Equestrian society, does not discriminate because of race, Blueblood.” The Princess shook her head in frustration. “And yes, I have heard of your remarks about our Pegasus Guard. Quite frankly, it disturbs me that anypony in my family can spout such garbage.”
“I-I’m sorry,” Blueblood muttered half heartedly.
“In any case, I don’t want you to cause any trouble. Kindergarten is greatly about socialization, and that includes understanding that you can be friends with anypony, regardless of whether or not they have wings and horns.”
Blueblood fumed like a broken furnace, but said nothing else in response. Taking this as a sign he at least understood what she did not want from him, Celestia continued. “Sky Bloom, one of the castle’s staff, will see you to class and back. Remember, do not reveal yourself to anypony. We can’t have everyone finding out just what happened to you, at least not yet. Any questions?”
“Just one,” Blueblood said. “When exactly is this going to be over?”
Celestia gave a small laugh, halfway between a giggle and a chuckle, and placed a hoof upon her nephew’s shoulder. The colt squirmed slightly on reflex, but once he realized his aunt meant him no harm (yet), he calmed right back down. “Until I am satisfied either way.”
Groaning, Blueblood pushed Celestia’s hoof away. “What does that even mean?”
Yes, this is much easier with Twilight. “It means that I will be keeping an eye on you. Once I’m satisfied, I will pass my final judgment on you.” She smiled and tilted her head. “Now, have a fun day at school, Leon!”
The colt gulped and took a few steps towards the door. His saddle bags felt weighed down with certain doom and failure, all in the form of school supplies. He had no idea what he was supposed to do, and yet Celestia was hedging his entire life on this vague goal. How was a pony supposed to accomplish anything in these circumstances?
I was better off in the dungeon.
----------
As advertised, the Canterlot Castle Royal Preschool sat only a short distance from the palace. The building’s exterior was polished to the point where it actually seemed to glow in the sunlight; the windows especially could probably fry an insect from about a hundred paces. The custodians were still at work on the gardens outside by the time the foals arrived, destroying all their hard-fought accomplishments underneath a stampede of rambunctious hooves.
Nopony noticed the small colt and accompanying parent/aunt’s servant slowly approaching the school grounds. That is, save for the one teacher still standing outside. She was a yellow unicorn, with an orange-and-pink mane and a sun with hearts over it for a Cutie Mark. Her lips were curled into the kind of smile many teachers wore, the kind that simultaneously expressed genuine love for their students and repressed their urge to throttle them for driving them to madness.
Blueblood and Sky Bloom, the white-with-pinkish maned unicorn he had been trapped with, stopped in front of the waiting teacher. The educator unicorn’s smile widened as she glanced back and forth between the two. “Well, good morning! And welcome to your first day at Canterlot Castle Magic Preschool, where the best and brightest learn how to use their natural talents!”
Sky Bloom shrugged in confusion. “Why are you giving the sales pitch to my son?”
“…Oh, I’m sorry.” The teacher lifted her head away from Blueblood and back to the nearby “parent.” “I get carried away with these things sometimes. It’s part of the job description. Well, my name is Miss Brightly, and I will be Leon’s teacher during his time with us.” She raised her right foreleg. “It is a pleasure meeting the both of you.”
Sky Bloom smiled and took the mare’s hoof in a hearty shake. “Thank you for meeting us. I always love to see who will be teaching my special little foal!” She turned to Blueblood, her teeth barred into a smile, and nodded at the little foal. “Isn’t that right, Leon?”
Finally seeing what he was supposed to do, Blueblood smiled and nodded along. “Oh, yes. Mommy just loves talking to big ponies like you!”
Miss Brightly’s grin remained locked in place, as if her jaw had been welded into place. “Well, class will be beginning soon. I’m sure you’ll have all sorts of fun here!” She turned back to Sky Bloom. “I mean the educational kind of fun. The kind that gets foals into universities and earns them PhD’s, not the kind that makes their teachers dump them into rural villages.”
Sky Bloom’s eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, nothing, nothing!” Miss Brightly let out a small chortle. Blueblood and Sky Bloom exchanged confused, almost terrified glances at the pony’s outburst. It was several moments before she regained her composure. “Now, shall we begin?”
Blueblood gave Sky Bloom one last look. His eyes sang of the growing fear and despair in his soul. The servant said nothing; she only gave him a false smile just to sell the “loving mother” role the princess had no doubt given her. Finally, Blueblood lowered his head and slowly marched behind Miss Brightly into the school.
Sky Bloom waited until the doors were closed before heading back to the palace. She had a lot of work to do today, after all…
----------
The classroom’s interior served as a stark contrast to the exterior’s beautiful design. The small room was only slightly larger than the prince’s old bedroom, and even that was on the tiny end of the scale compared to many of the other noble houses. (He had to make room for the hot tub, after all.) Simple wooden desks lined the walls, each of them just big enough to fit a regular-sized foal. The center of the classroom was cluttered with toys, puzzles, torn sheets of paper, and more than a few other piles of debris, all of which had just over a dozen actual foals running through them at any given moment.
Blueblood gulped back the biggest lump his throat had ever seen. His joints shook as Miss Brightly ushered him inside. It took his fear of his aunts to finally get him inside.
All activity in the room ceased the moment the students saw the newcomer. The fillies and colts simply stared up in surprise at Blueblood’s direction, a few shyly turning away at the last moment to avoid making eye contact. Miss Brightly took her place directly on Blueblood’s left and clapped her hooves. The foals reacted like trained mice, scampering to their designated desks before turning back to their teacher.
“Good morning, class!”
“Good morning, Miss Brightly,” answered a chorus of shaky, unsure, high-pitched voices.
The teacher took her own seat behind a metal and wood desk in the corner of the classroom. Blueblood winced at the dozens of hoofpaint and crayon creations littering the front. If this is the extent of their artistic abilities, I won’t have much trouble rising above this clatter.
“Now, I’m sure you all can see we have a new classmate joining us today.” She pointed her right foreleg at Blueblood, sending the foal recoiling slightly and blushing in embarrassment. “Fillies and colts, please say hello to Leon!”
The entire room erupted in a cacophony of cheers and greetings, both genuine and mechanically indoctrinated alike. Blueblood blushed and kicked against the floor absentmindedly. It had been quite a while since his appearance had actually been met with cheers, after all.
The small ego-stroking session ended as Miss Brightly pointed towards an empty desk next to a blue unicorn filly. “Now Leon, would please take your seat?”
Blueblood quickly jumped into the little wooden seat, resting his forelegs on the wooden top. He glanced over at the other fillies and colts, all of whom were staring at either him or Miss Brightly. He returned the welcoming smiles. Yes, this will not be too difficult. With a little work, Prince Blueblood will be right back on top where he belongs! I can only hope the rest of the day goes as well as this.
“And now class,” Miss Brightly said, “we’re going to talk about dogs and cats!”
Blueblood barely resisted the urge to slam his face into the desk. He could tell exactly what most of his day would be filled with.
Boredom.
----------
Celestia’s magic lifted up the massive blueprint of the ballroom’s newest renovations. The old chamber was still in a sorry state, and would still have to be at least presentable before the upcoming Canterlot Garden Party in a few weeks time. Nonetheless, her advisors were adamant that she use the opportunity to make some renovations to the ballroom’s infrastructure. Most of them were fairly sound, such as reinforcing the pillars and ceiling in case another stampede happened to occur on the palace grounds. But then there were the more esoteric ones…
“Why does the ballroom need another statue of me?” Celestia asked.
One of the foreponies, a teal unicorn trying to bury himself inside his hardhat and vest, slowly rose from the floor. “We were told to make sure the ballroom looked as beautiful as you. And since you are the most beautiful thing in Equestria, it only made sense that you would be the cornerstone of the whole construction. I-It was meant as a compliment.”
Celestia’s right foreleg started to move up for a facehoof, but was just as quickly knocked back down with but a mental command. Her lips, on the other hoof, still gave a small scowl. “I appreciate the offer, but don’t you think there’s enough statues around the grounds already?”
“Bu…But they have already been ordered! A-And we were making one of Princess Luna as well,” the forepony said. He hunkered himself right back down, as if Princess Celestia was about to will down a ceiling beam on his head.
The Princess only smiled, her magic furling up the blueprints as she did so. “Perhaps a suggestion is in order? Rather than clutter up the interior with more statues, we can place some more decorations outside. I believe some icons of the Royal Pony Sisters will be more than welcoming?”
The poor forepony’s nerves relaxed a little. “Y-Yes, Your Highness.”
Celestia gently floated the blueprints downward, where another aura intercepted them. The forepony climbed to his hooves, gave a quick nod of the head, and scurried back to work, plans in tow. The Sun Princess congratulated herself on another task done, and turned to go back to her work.
She managed to trot about ten meters before crashing into a rather peeved, dark blue Alicorn. Celestia quickly took a step back, her eyes widened with surprise at the sight. “L-Luna! I thought you were in bed!”
“He’s gone,” she hissed.
Regaining her grip of her emotions for just a moment, Celestia smiled. “You mean Blueblood? Of course he’s gone. It’s the first day of school, after all!”
The older sister let out a small, lighthearted chuckle. Luna simply continued to scowl. “I thought you agreed not to go ahead with this ridiculous plan of yours. Really, Magic Kindergarten? That is the best you could come up with?”
Celestia’s smile vanished. She knew her sister was hesitant about the whole scheme, but she had not imagined she would react this badly. “Little sister, I am not promising that anything will change. I am simply giving Blueblood a chance to make up for his misdeeds.”
“By sending him off to play?!” Luna swung out one hoof so fast that it struck the wall, crushing the marble into tiny, bite-sized chunks. The Night Mare blushed slightly as she pulled her leg out of the hole and set it back beneath her. “Sister, I have doubted your judgment before, but never like this! All you will accomplish is teaching that foal to be an even larger flank than he was before!”
“That remains to be seen,” Celestia said softly. “I went through the same ordeal, and I feel better for it.” Her face became much sterner. “And have you forgotten a certain pony that tried to destroy Equestria, but has redeemed herself time and again this last year alone? Don’t you think your nephew deserves the same opportunity?”
Luna shook her head. “You do not understand at all. You emerged a better pony because you already are a better pony than he is. And as for I-” She closed her eyes, not wishing to quite go back to this rather dark area of her life. “I did not frolic and play during my thousands years of banishment. I did not pick flowers and dance to fifes and lyres while Discord destroyed Equestria. And I certainly did not seek out self-gratification and pleasure while you nearly died saving me. I suffered for my failures every step of the way.”
“Luna…” Celestia took a step forward, her wings extended and ready to embrace her sister in a gentle hug. Before she could get a single feather over, however, Luna had already pulled back out of range, her eyes filled with growing frustration at her sister’s antics. “I agree that this is odd, but there is a method to this. I did not simply send Blueblood away to play. I sent him to learn and better himself.”
Luna rolled her eyes at this. Realizing she wasn’t going to get anywhere with this conversation, the younger of the Royal Pony Sisters turned on her hooves and started walking away. Celestia moved to stop her, but paused herself when she heard her sister’s voice. “Very well then. You may have your fun, Celestia. But I do not care how much that fiend may claim to have changed. Anypony who would try to harm their own family like he did…does not deserve to have one.”
Celestia watched as her sister disappeared into the dark corridors of the palace. She tried to find the right words, the one sentence that would solve everything and make Luna see her side, but her mind fumbled and found nothing. Even she could feel doubt starting to creep into the back of her mind.
Well, at least he’s up to something interesting...
----------
“And that is the difference between dogs and cats!” Miss Brightly, having finished her epic lesson of the day, turned away from the simple screen showing a small brown dog and an equally-sized brown cat. The students stared at her in stunned awe, their tiny little brains eating up all this information with gusto. The only foal not overly enthusiastic about this fascinatingly scientific study was Blueblood; the colt only sat at his chair in frustrated silence. I cannot believe this. How is something as stupid as telling two animals apart going to prove I’ve reformed? How am I supposed to learn anything in a place like this?
Miss Brightly walked back to her desk, shuffled some documents on top, and turned towards the class. “Alright, now it’s time for our math lesson! I hope everypony studied this time!”
The simultaneous groans and moans of over a dozen five-year-olds combined into a single mournful sigh that echoed throughout the classroom. Even Miss Brightly had to join in on the gloom session, clenching her teeth until they looked more like the bars of a jail cell. “I see. Don’t you worry though, fillies and colts, because we’re gonna cover It all anyway!”
The teacher leaned back and levitated over an entire pile of placards. The foals in the front row, Blueblood included, were fortunate enough to catch but a brief glimpse of the things. There were pictures of apple halves, oranges, mice, music notes, and even a donkey or two, all of them arranged in very simplistic mathematical expressions. The cards were halfway onto the stand when the bell over the door let out a shrill ring.
The foals immediately jumped for joy. That bell could mean only one thing.
It was time for recess.
----------
Celestia only looked up from her cluttered desk when a heavy, metal-plated hoof pounded on the door. “Your Majesty, Captain Shining Armor has returned. He wishes to speak with you.”
The princess raised an eyebrow. “He’s back already? But we weren’t expecting him for another two days.”
“He’s already reported that the new troop deployments and garrisons were finished in record time. He only wishes to discuss some of the changes that have occurred while he was away.”
“Ah, I see.” Celestia levitated her quill back into the ink well, the feathered tip smacking against the edge as soon as her magic released the instrument. “I suppose we shouldn’t keep him in the dark, then. Please send him in.”
The guard fired off a quick salute before retreating out. Celestia could hear his armored hooves clop down about fifteen steps before stopping. All noise in the hall vanished, save for some small whispers, until a different set of hooves went clopping along into the room. Sure enough, it was Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guard and brother to Celestia’s prized pupil, Twilight Sparkle. His unique armor had been polished to the point that it almost looked like he had just grabbed it out of a showroom.
Shining closed the door behind him and bowed to his knees. “Your Majesty, I have returned.”
Yes, I can see that. “Welcome back, Shining Armor. I trust everything went well with the border patrols?”
Captain Armor slowly rose back up, his mind fighting valiantly against his urge to scratch a particularly annoying itch on the back of his neck. “Everything’s gone exactly as you ordered. Our borders are safe, those highway bandits next to Coltenville have been rounded up, and Baltimare’s mayor wanted me to tell you that the crepes were delicious.”
Celestia nodded along. She already knew exactly how things had turned out; had anything gone wrong, Shining Armor would either not be back here at all, or have returned with a few arrows embedded in his flank. “Good work, then. I am pleased to see that you are getting a hang on more…diplomatic duties. The life of a prince is much more than slaying giant, rampaging dragons to save faire maidens, after all.” Her eyes narrowed. “Not that you would get my niece anywhere near a giant, rampaging dragon, would you?”
Shining Armor, once deemed the bravest guard in all of Canterlot, quickly bowed his hind legs back and sweated like a foal being scolded. “N-N-No, of course not! I love Cadance! There’s no way I’d ever expose her to danger like that.”
“Then we have an understanding.” Celestia slowly turned back to her work. “I also understand that a few of the…events of the last few days have left you baffled?”
Shining shuffled his armor about nervously. He tried his best not to maintain eye contact with his monarch/employer. “Well…I heard Twiley- I mean, my sister was helping cover your vacation.”
Celestia grinned, her eyes still locked on the paperwork before her. “Yes, and she did a marvelous job. I fear a lot of situations propped up over those few days. Without her help, I don’t believe even Princess Luna could have handled all those crises. I’m afraid you just missed her, though. She’s already back in Ponyville, still continuing her studies on friendship. Anything else I can assist you with, Captain?”
“A-And I heard something about Prince Blueblood being arrested?” Shining’s nervousness was growing ever more evident. If his armor could clang any louder, it would have been capable of drowning out an entire army division’s marching.
The act of sighing still wasn’t enough to break Celestia’s concentration, nor stop her horn from moving her quill. “Unfortunately, yes. I fear my nephew has overstepped one bound too many. His case is still under…” She paused, added, “Review,” and then went right back to work.
“And lastly, I heard something about a…filly running around the palace?” Shining Armor’s eyes widened as he dared to speak the next few words. “Was that…really you?”
Celestia’s business proceedings stopped immediately. She floated the quill back into the ink well and looked up from her work, an awkward smile etched across her lips. “I am afraid so, my dear Shining Armor. It was certainly… an unusual situation, and not one I am in a hurry to repeat.” Her hoof casually drifted downwards towards an open drawer, its tip tracing across the figure hidden within. “Yes, in no hurry at all.”
She raised her leg back up, refocusing all her attention on her Captain of the Guard. “In any case, I am perfectly healthy. The spell has been broken, Equestria is still standing, and Luna has never been more popular. All together, I suppose no real harm has been done so far. Have I put your fears at ease, Shining Armor?”
“I…I think so,” Armor said. The tension in the air seemed to gradually melt away, giving the stallion some more room to breathe. He even felt bold enough to smile. “I guess I do miss the most amazing things sometimes. Shame I wasn’t there when you finally threw that jerk Blueblood out on his ear.”
Celestia raised an eye at this. “Excuse me?”
Shining let out a small chortle; in his euphoria, he had failed to notice Princess Celestia’s rather rapid change in mood. “After all the garbage that raging flank put us all through, he more than deserved to be locked away for the rest of eternity! Do you know what he did during my first shift ever? He told me to go get him some fruit punch, grabbed my helmet, dumped the punch in it, and then slammed it back on my head! And then he blamed ME for making him do it!”
The princess’ eyes shifted slightly leftward. “I-I understand he was quite the hoofful at times. I’ve gotten more than enough complaints on that front. But…have they told you what happened to Blueblood exactly?”
Shining Armor shook his head. “Nah…I mean, no! Every one of the guards have said you swore them to secrecy. But whatever it was, I’m sure it’s better than the gelding deserves.” He let out another small chuckle, closing his eyes and scratching the back of his neck at the same time. “You know, I kinda wish he had turned into a colt!”
Tiny drops of perspiration slowly sank down Celestia’s weary brow. “That is a horrible thing to wish on anypony. Why would you say such a thing?”
“By Jove, if I ever found that stallion as a little runt…” He clicked his teeth. “I can’t even begin to think about all the stuff I’d do to him! After putting Cadance and I through Tartarus, it would be nice to finally get some payback on that…”
The imaginary torture session would have continued, had Shining Armor not opened his eyes at just that moment. Celestia was no longer sitting at her desk like a good little monarch; instead, she was standing directly in front of the stallion, a look of pure disappointment on her face. The stallion’s blood froze immediately as the full scale of his threats and declarations came to the forefront of his mind. “I-I mean, it’s not like I would really…”
“Shining Armor, I am very disappointed in you.” Celestia’s lips twisted into a silent snarl, making the stallion feel less like the Captain of the Guard and more like a schmuck about to be struck by a meteor. “No matter what transgressions Blueblood has committed, his punishment shall be my responsibility alone. I assure you, the matter is being handled with the upmost seriousness. But I shall not tolerate any of my guards, let alone who is supposed to be the most responsible member, going on a vengeance-fueled rampage because of things said and done in the past. I am willing to overlook it this time, but should I learn that you have brought any harm to Blueblood, you can forget your position at the palace, let alone your relationship with my niece. Do you understand?”
Shining Armor shook his head with the vigor of a caffeine addict. “I…I swear, I won’t harm that little colt in any way, shape or form.”
The room stayed quiet for several moments more. Finally, Celestia smiled. “Very good. You may resume your duties, Captain. The shift changes have already been sent to your quarters, and we have some new recruits on duty tonight. Oh, and welcome back!”
Relieved to finally be out of there, Shining Armor fired off a salute and galloped out of the office like his life depended on it. Once he was out of range, Celestia willed the doors closed, made sure the window curtains were drawn, and finally allowed herself to sigh in relief. She had never seen Shining Armor so upset at anypony in all the time she had known him. Then again, her nephew had a tendency to bring out the worst in ponies at times. Nevertheless, she still couldn’t allow any of her subjects to come to any real harm when she had the power to prevent it.
Still, this could be a problem. She tapped a hoof to her chin, her mind racing through all the available options at the moment. Shining Armor hated her nephew, that much was certain. Cadance had a more…complicated relationship with Blueblood, but she would not be back for a few more days. The palace was large enough to shuttle him in and out without notice, and the other guards would obey their orders, however much Blueblood had done to them in the past.
That left only Luna to worry about.
Celestia knew her sister was stubborn. She had refused to part with the ancient traditions upon her return, even after Celestia had done everything short of burning “STOP USING THE ROYAL WE” in the grass with very precise Solar Magic. Even before then, she refused to attend formal events because somepony’s great-great-grandmother had said something she didn’t like, refused to lighten up her standards for the Military until the recruitment numbers sank into the negatives, and worst of all, would not listen when her sister kept telling her she really was loved. Whatever Blueblood had done to offend her, it had obviously affected her a great deal more than Celestia felt she could ever understand.
Still, she won’t do anything, Celestia thought to herself. She’s a good pony at heart. I’m certain she’ll give Blueblood all the space he needs. And with Shining Armor on board as well, Blueblood’s chances of success have already grown.
----------
The preschool’s playground was rather small, but still larger than Blueblood had expected. A large, three-seated swing set sat next to a small sandbox, which itself sat next to a surprisingly pristine jungle gym. A field of freshly-mowed grass surrounded all three, creating a welcome respite from the paved streets that dominated much of this area of Canterlot. There was already another class out there, this one from one of the Pegasus classes. And sure enough, a few of the foals were already trying to eat away, ignoring their mother’s scolding about not eating what other ponies have walked on.
Miss Brightly led Blueblood’s class to these discount Elysian Fields in a straight line, not unlike a Sergeant leading a squad of cadets in a drill session. Blueblood couldn’t help but smile at the memory of his brief stint in the military academy, back when he was actually somepony important. His reduced stature actually served a purpose for once, as the longer walk gave him more time to admire the change in scenery and savor this small bit of nostalgia.
The procession stopped just in front of a merry-go-round, its metal surface shining with a sticky coat of paint. Miss Brightly spun about and looked down at her little charges. “Have fun, my little ponies! I’ll be here if you need anything, like always!”
The foals weren’t listening anymore; they were already spread out and running across everything on the small patch of ground. The swings were swinging, the sandbox was in the middle of an excavation for ancient gold, and a daring adventure was going on at the jungle gym. And of course, a pair of colts were busy chewing on the grass at the far corner. Miss Brightly quickly sat herself on a nearby bench, her eyes scanning the field before her in case of trouble.
Blueblood, on the other hoof, just stood there for a good while, his mind drawing a blank as to what to do. He looked back for something that he could draw upon to figure out what all this was before him, but he could see nothing. He had played as a foal, certainly, but it wasn’t quite like this. There, he had only a few relatives, the occasional foal of one of the servants, and the guards to mess with. Of those, the latter had a tendency to snap at him after he dumped rotten eggs onto their armor, while the former two just preferred to ignore the colt altogether. Only one of his cousins had ever seemed to like him, but she was nowhere near Canterlot, and in any case was now far older than he.
Once again, the crushing futility of his task seemed to weigh in. With no other recourse, he looked up towards the sun. Aunt Celestia, please give me some kind of sign, a hint, ANYTHING.
“Um…hey, new kid.”
Blueblood snapped out of his silent prayer session and looked downward. Standing about eye level to him was a unicorn filly, the same blue one that he had been seated next to during class. She rubbed her front fetlocks nervously, her eyes focusing on a single spot on the ground. The two were completely silent for several seconds, with only the happy roars and cheers of the other kids breaking the heavy atmosphere. Finally, Blueblood could take no more. “C-Can I help you?”
“Well…I saw you standing there, and you looked kinda lonely, and…” The filly squeaked something inaudible, her right eye twitching slightly. “I talked to my friends, and they said you could come play with us. I mean, if you want.”
Blueblood’s jaw dropped slightly. “Y-You want me to play with you? But I just got here. You don’t even know who I am!”
The filly took a step back. “I…It’s okay. I was just wondering if you needed some friends.”
The colt wanted to say something else, perhaps even chide the filly on her naïve nature, but all such thoughts died in his throat. He couldn’t help but feel more than a little touched at the seemingly sincere offer. And besides, it wasn’t like he had anything else better to do. “I suppose I could. Just show me to these friends of yours.”
The filly smiled and nodded her head quickly. The two then started on their way across the playground, heading towards a large oak tree at the far end. “M-My name’s Ribbon,” she said. “I-It’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Blueblood responded.
By the time the two had reached the tree, three other fillies were already standing there waiting. Two of them were unicorns, one white and the other a pink shade of lavender. The third was a yellow pegasus from the other class, her back turned to the others as she tried to flutter up to a ribbon tied to a tree branch. The two more attentive foals smiled and waved at Blueblood, who timidly responded in kind. “H-Hello.”
Ribbon took a step in between Blueblood and the small gathering of friends. She pointed to the white unicorn first. “Leon, this is Gusty.” She then motioned towards the other. “And this is Buttons.”
“Um…Hi,” he said. “My name’s Bl- I mean, Leon. It’s…a pleasure to meet all of you.”
“Welcome to the group, Leon!” said Gusty. Before Blueblood could even breathe, she had already hopped to his side and grabbed him in a neck lock. “It’s always nice to have some new friends, isn’t it?”
“Um…yeah, of course!” said Buttons. “Say, you don’t have a problem with playing with fillies, do you?”
Blueblood managed to break free of his attacker, if only because Gusty finally realized she was strangling the poor kid and let go. “I…I see no problem with it.” In fact, this might be my key to stardom in this school! Just like before, I’ll have a filly on each leg, and…
Ribbon, ignoring her new friend’s sudden twist of imagination, turned to the pegasus. “Um…I got the new guy.”
“Ugh, fine,” the pegasus filly grumbled. She spun about, her eyes locked with the waiting Blueblood’s. “It’s nice to…meet…YOU!”
Both princeling and commoner stared at each other in horror, their mouths slacked down wide enough to fit an entire salad. Ribbon and the others just scratched their heads in confusion. “Um…Lofty? Is something wrong?”
TO BE CONTINUED…
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
-AND-
A Wholly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Lofty and Blueblood’s unintentional slack jawed-staring contest had been going on for five minutes before the waving of white legs in front of their eyes finally snapped them back to reality. “Hello! Equestria to ponies!” Gusty shouted.
With a vigorous shake of the heads, the two foals broke out of their hypnotic trances and instead settled for vengeful, blood curling gazes at each other. “What are you doing here?” Lofty hissed.
“Um…going to school, I guess? Why else would I be here?” Blueblood responded.
“H-Hey…you guys know each other?” Buttons stammered.
“Oh, I know him all right!” Lofty pointed an accusing hoof at Blueblood, causing the colt to recoil in surprise. “This colt is the meanest pony who’s ever lived! He’s a jerk, a bully, a…jerkully, and a really rotten pony, too!”
The three filly bystanders just sat there in stunned silence. As for Blueblood, the childish insults simply bounced off him like rubber. He had been called far worse things than whatever a “jerkully” was. There wasn’t even a real need to retaliate, either; Lofty was obviously out of her mind, and none of her friends would give what she said a second thought. It can’t get any better than this…
Panting for dear life, Lofty turned to her nearby companions. “C-Come on, you’ve gotta believe me! He’s an awful pony!”
“Y-You’re sure he’s the worst pony ever?” Ribbon asked.
Lofty’s voice almost reached a scream. “YES! A HUNDRED BAJILLION TIMES, YES! He’s not even a real colt!”
And so it was that, with the flip of a lone filly’s tongue, Blueblood’s confidence in his disguise began to erode. His smug sneer melted into a gaping maw, his eyes receding back so far they threatened to roll down and out the back of his body. He had not planned on running into Lofty again, nor did he have time to fully win her friends over to his side. If she called him out right here and now, he would have no defense whatsoever. And he had been in the Royal Court long enough to know that once everypony knows of your ill-dealing, they would never trust you again.
Gusty rolled her eyes at this, oblivious to Blueblood’s sweating. “So…what, he’s a filly?”
Lofty groaned from her friend’s obliviousness. “I mean he’s a stallion!”
“Um, yeah. Colts become stallions, and fillies become mares,” Buttons pondered. “Well, I mean, she said they sometimes become geldings, too. I have no idea what that is, but she kept wishing she had made her last boss into one.”
The other fillies just shrugged at yet another of Button’s inane ramblings. Blueblood, meanwhile, felt his hind legs subconsciously drift closer together just in case. Lofty, however, took advantage of the momentary lull in the conversation and trotted right up to Blueblood’s face. Her muzzle pressed against his, the tips of their noses crunched together like a rear-ended wagon. “What I mean is, this guy isn’t a real colt! He’s an evil prince who was turned into a colt because of his wicked ways! He’s probably just trying to find a way to get his revenge on Princess Celestia!”
The entire playground fell silent, save for the bouncing of rubber balls and the chirping of crickets. Lofty’s insane rant was loud enough that all the foals had heard it, even as the teachers just excused it as silly play talk. Blueblood just squirmed in his spot, trying to figure which way would get him out of Canterlot the fastest.
Finally, Buttons butted in. “Lofty…what are you talking about?”
“Yeah, that’s REALLY out there,” said Gusty. “Are you sure you haven’t been eating crayon sandwiches again?”
“I only did that once!” Lofty snapped.
Ribbon pointed a hoof at the bug-eyed Blueblood. “Look, you’re scaring our new friend! Sure, he’s a colt, and they can be gross and all, but that doesn’t mean he’s a supervillain.”
Lofty was ready and willing to argue her point further, but such arguments came to a screeching halt as a loud bell rang out throughout the playground. Fillies and colts alike flattened and covered their ears just to keep that horrible noise from deafening them for life. When the clanging and banging finally stopped, the teachers walked onto the grounds to round up their students for class.
“Well…I guess we’ll see you later,” said Buttons.
“Yeah, see ya around,” Gusty said with another hearty slam to Blueblood’s back. She turned back to Lofty, who was currently trying to grind her teeth down into nubs. “And you really need to learn to play nice. Nopony likes a bully.”
Lofty’s eyes popped open, her jaw dropped, and her face went pale. Blueblood recognized the filly’s reaction right away, and quickly did the right thing by running as fast as his legs could carry him away from her. Ribbon thought about saying something to her friend, but then realized she couldn’t risk being late and joined the regressed stallion.
“B-Bully?! But..I…BUT…GAAAAAAAH!”
----------
The first thing Blueblood noticed when he reentered the classroom were the balls.
On each desk sat a small tennis ball, resting still inside a small black holder. One even sat on Miss Brightly’s desk. The other foals all gasped in surprise and bewilderment at the change in scenery, their tiny little brains unaccustomed to such things magically appearing out of thin air. Blueblood, on the other hoof, could recognize the thing from his actual youth, while he was being tutored at his parents’ summer chateau. These were the things used when teaching basic levitation. I never knew commoners used these things, as well. Given they have no appreciation for the intricacies of tennis, it’s no surprise that…
“Come on, Leon,” Miss Brightly coaxed. “It’s time to start class.”
Blueblood snapped out of his usual gloating over the lower classes to find himself still standing next to the door. The rest of the class were already in their seats, absent-mindedly playing with their balls. A few snickered at the sight of the daydreaming colt; in particular, a pair of colts, one orange and one light blue, were laughing their flanks off at the embarrassment. Blueblood quickly trotted over to his desk, not even saying a word to the teacher lest he humiliate himself further.
“Now that we’re all ready, let’s begin.” Even such young foals could sense the dripping sarcasm and hint of malice in that sentence. Such knowledge was lost on the teacher; instead, she settled for walking back and forth at the front of the class like a drill instructor. Blueblood could feel his shivers return as all the warmth and carefree joy of earlier seemed to vanish altogether.
“It seems our new student arrived at just the perfect day, class. Because today, we will be beginning our first actual magic lesson!” The entire classroom erupted into cheers, as every filly and colt eagerly awaited the chance to reclaim their magical power from infancy and turn their older siblings and parents into toads or whatnot. Even Blueblood could feel himself getting caught up in the excitement, if only so he wouldn’t feel left out. The jubilation only ceased when Miss Brightly managed to “tsst” the foals into silence. “Now, does anypony know where magic comes from?”
A pink hoof shot up in excitement, attracting Miss Brightly’s attention. “Yes, Cherry?”
“It comes from our horns!” the filly shouted excitedly.
Yet another chorus of laughs from the foals followed, dying down just in time for the teacher to continue. “Well, that…is true, but what I mean is, where does all magic come from?”
In an instant, all activity in the classroom ceased. The fillies and colts scratched their chins and hummed to themselves as they tried to figure out just what their beloved teacher wanted them to say. Brightly said nothing at all, her only thought being to continue letting the children’s brains simmer while she mentally went over tonight’s homework.
It was right then, just as almost all the foals had given up, that Blueblood saw his opportunity. Standing before him was the chance for greatness he had been seeking ever since he got thrown into this dungeon of a classroom. The intelligent always rise to the top, so I’ll be the smartest foal in class!
Miss Brightly’s jaw dropped as she saw Blueblood’s hoof shoot into the air. “Um…yes, Leon?”
Looking more than a little sure of himself, the fallen prince cleared his throat and clapped both forehooves together. “Magic is a form of energy that resides inside all ponies. Specifically, all races of ponies are physically built to correspond to the kind of magic they can use.”
The classroom was stunned into silence. Miss Brightly’s already slacking jaw was now in danger of dislocating entirely. “V-Very good, Leon. And what makes Unicorn magic different from, say, Pegasus or Earth pony magic?” Blueblood’s hoof was up again in an instant. “Ah, Leon again!”
The prince’s confidence was growing tenfold with each passing moment. “Unicorn magic is controlled through the horn, and can be used in any way as long as the pony knows the right spell. The most common form is telekinesis, or moving things using magic alone, and ponies primarily learn spells that correspond to their cutie marks. Pegasus and Earth pony magic is directed through their entire body. It lets Pegasi stand on clouds and fly, despite their body shape and weight. It also makes Earth ponies stronger and able to grow food.”
Miss Brightly fell back on her haunches in disbelief. All she could manage was a slow clap of her forehooves to show her approval of Blueblood’s answer, and even then she wasn’t sure if that was quite the right response given the level of detail. This level of detail was something ponies were supposed to have memorized by the first or second grades, not Kindergarten. “V-Very good. I…I’m really impressed, Leon.”
Blueblood smiled smugly to himself. Even as the rest of the classroom remained silent, he could still feel the aura of supremacy returning to him.
Gradually, Miss Brightly climbed back to her hooves, shaking her back fur until the hairs stopped standing on end. She had to get back to the teaching plan fast. “Now that we know where magic comes from, it’s time we started learning how to control it.”
“But how are tennis balls gonna do that?” shouted the orange colt.
“A good question, Orange Peel,” Miss Brightly said. “The most important magic any Unicorn can know is the ability to move objects using only their minds. When you’re older, you’ll be able to do just about everything with magic alone. Imagine never having to hold pencils or crayons in your mouth, or being able to talk and hold something at the same time. With enough practice, each and every one of you will be able to do all of that.” Her horn lit up with a white light, accompanied by her own ball floating up to her eye level.
The foals all let out a gasp of wonderment at the spectacle before them. Blueblood, meanwhile, just rolled his eyes and returned to fuming. Parlor tricks, feh. A mere baby could do this.
“Now, we’re just going to practice a little today.” The ball gradually floated back into his holder, landing with a small thud and coming to rest in the exact same position as when the class had entered the room. Miss Brightly then lowered her head downward until her horn was pointing towards the floor. “Lower your head like this. Make sure the tip of your horn is pointed at the ball.”
The class quickly obliged, and again, Blueblood found himself performing the most humiliating of things just to belong. “Next, I want you to think about lifting the ball with your magic. Don’t touch it with your hooves, and don’t try to tap it over with your horn. You want to try and concentrate on the ball. Try to order it to float.”
The foals, ready and eager to prove themselves as future archmages, followed her instructions to the letter, bowing their heads and pointing their horns towards their balls. Each time the ponies tried to actually will their target to move, however, all that happened was a shower of sparks. A few desperate ponies even tried to move the thing with their hooves, only to be caught and reprimanded by Miss Brightly on sight.
Blueblood’s story was no different. He tried calling on every spell and technique he had learned during his real foalhood, but none of them responded to his pleas. His cheeks burned hot as he tried something, anything, to get that blasted ball to hop off its pedestal. Come on. I have to prove I’m better than this. I can’t be a powerless weakling like these commoners! I…I….I CAN’T BE NOR-
*R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-RIIIIIIIIIIIING!*
Blueblood’s eyes flew open as that infernal bell rang through the classroom. Miss Brightly clapped her hooves together and beamed a bright smile at her little ponies. “Alright, everypony! It’s time for lunch! Grab your bags and follow me!”
----------
Celestia was just about finished with the latest revisions to the Conditioned Rainfall Act when she heard three knocks at her door. The Sun Princess smiled as she recognized the secret door knock. “Yes, please come on.”
The door opened, revealing Princess Luna in all her illuminated glory. “I hope I am not interrupting anything, sister.”
Celestia shook her head, barely suppressing a giggle at her awkward little sister’s politeness. “I always have time for you, Luna.”
Smiling sheepishly, Luna stepped into the office. The door slammed shut behind her, leaving the two secluded in the private little chamber. “Now, what can I do for you? It’s awfully late for you to be up, isn’t it?”
“Ever since filling in for you, my internal clock has been having issues,” Luna said. She took a seat on a pillow across from Celestia’s desk, posing herself like she was on an invisible throne. The elder Alicorn valiantly fought back the urge to jump across the furniture and snag her in a cuteness-induced bear hug. “Speaking of which, we have to discuss what to do with our nephew.”
Celestia sighed, her quill still scratching along, as she realized what Luna was about to say. “Sister, please. Blueblood’s punishment is my responsibility, and I will ensure that it is enacted to the fullest extent of the law as I see it. I understand you and he are at odds, but that does not mean you can interfere with my decisions like this.”
“I know,” Luna said through gritted teeth. She unbarred her jaw if only so she could at least put up the appearance of speaking normally. “What I mean is, we have Shining Armor back already, and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza…”
“I think she prefers Princess Cadance,” Celestia corrected.
Luna rolled her eyes and looked away from the older sister. “Very well. Princess Cadance will be returning from Stalliongrad within a few days.”
Celestia smiled. “I know. And I thank you for not raising any objections at the marriage. A few nobles, our nephew included, were quite upset that a princess was marrying someone with barely a trace of noble blood.” Her eyes closed slightly out of embarrassment. “And we know how bad it was a thousand years ago.”
Luna scoffed and giggled at the same time. “Yes, I remember that mess. Trust me, things like purity and lineage never made much sense to me back then, either. I’ve seen the two together, and they are a lovely couple. No, the problem right now is, neither of them was here during the recent…event.”
“Oh, you mean that time you turned me into a filly?” Celestia snorted back a laugh, making Luna cringe from the un-royalness of her reaction. “Yes, we all had a good laugh when that was done. I’ve already told Shining Armor what I’m willing to tell him, and I shall do the same when Cadance arrives.”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Then…you told Shining Armor about Blueblood’s condition?”
Celestia stopped working and sighed. “To be honest, I think he figured it out himself. I may have volunteered too much information that time. Still, he won’t do anything to hurt him. I’m certain he can be trusted in that regard.”
“What I mean is,” Luna said, “should we not just allow the two to become involved in your scheme?”
Now Celestia knew something was wrong. “Luna, a few hours ago you were shouting at me because of this. Why are you suddenly interested in helping?”
“Oh, I would never involve myself in this,” Luna said. “I was merely offering a suggestion. And consider that the two will be having foals of their own some day, and these foals will be paying their dear Aunts Celestia and Luna visits on a regular basis. I think it would be good for them.”
“Sister, Cadance has plenty of experience as a foalsitter, and Shining Armor’s duties will make him very busy,” Celestia said. She paused in sudden thought. “Then again, it would be nice to have an extra set of eyes on him, and it might help move things along. If you wouldn’t mind, please speak with Shining Armor tonight. I’m sure he would be thrilled.”
Luna rose and bowed. “Thank you for letting me help, big sister. I promise you will not regret this.” Blueblood might, though.
----------
Normally, lunchtime for a pony like Prince Blueblood meant a grand salad, or a sandwich built by some culinary genius. As always, it would be served in his home’s kitchen, rather than the breakfast nook and grand dining room, and he would never sully himself to eating outside. That was the realm of the working class, not a member of the royal family like himself.
And yet here he was, seated outside the school building, digging into a paper bag barely capable of holding the few scrapings Aunt Celestia was willing to give to him.
His entire class was lined up on the sidewalk outside the playground. The other foals were already busying themselves with their own lunches, popping open pails and bags and freely exchanging/stealing rations from one pony to another. The entire line rattled and creased with the munching of potato chips and the chewing of bread. Blueblood shuddered from the cacophony of noises assaulting his once-pristine ear drums, but said nothing. No, he would suffer in silence, like he always did. Once I’m on top, though, I’ll make them pay dearly for this.
“C-Can I sit here?”
Blueblood looked up to find Ribbon standing next to him. In front of her sat a paper bag, almost identical to his own. The pudgy colt he was originally seated next to quickly started shuffling aside, if only to get away from the filly germs that were no doubt being breathed on him this very moment. Sighing, Blueblood motioned down to the empty spot. “I see no problem with that.”
Ribbon quickly plopped herself onto her haunches, pulled her bag towards her with her mouth, and then started shuffling through with her hooves. Blueblood, in turn, returned his attention to his own lunch, which had been feeling very neglected these last few minutes. Moaning in disappointment, he stuck his hooves back in, and after a few seconds of blind fumbling and cursing the lack of any extremities on pony’s hooves, finally pulled out his meal.
It was a sad-looking lettuce-and-cheese sandwich, a few misshapen apple slices wrapped in plastic, and a cup of tapioca pudding. Even worse, there were no plates to eat off of, no silverware to cut his food with, and not even one of those…plastic spoons for his pudding.
Yes, Aunt Celestia really did pack this.
Ribbon peeked over at Blueblood’s lunch. “Wow, your mom really packs a lot.”
“What do you mean?”
Nonplussed at the question, Ribbon reached into her bag and pulled out her own lunch; namely, a bread roll, another bread roll, and a few carrot sticks embedded inside a bread roll. Blueblood’s jaw dropped at the sheer amount of carbohydrate-loaded delicacies shoved into one paper sack, as well as the horrific nutritional value therein. “Th-That’s a lot of bread!”
Ribbon shrugged. “Mom and Dad are bakers. Mom says she doesn’t have a lot of time to cook, so we eat a lot of bread.”
“Huh, I always thought baker kids would things like cakes and pies over dinner rolls.” Blueblood shrugged. “Well, at least it’s something.”
The filly cocked her head. “Has anypony told you that you talk like a big colt?”
Blueblood blushed. She was right, after all. He had been letting his advanced (compared to these fillies) vocabulary out a bit more than he should have. Still, it was something that made him look better than them, so that was a plus. “I-I study a lot, that’s all.”
“Yeah, I have to, too,” Ribbon sighed. “My parents are Earth ponies, so they can’t really help me too good with magic. And they keep saying I have to get really good for some reason.” She leaned her head forward, her eyes catching somepony at the far end of the sidewalk. “And what’s the deal with you and Lofty?”
Blueblood shrugged. “She’s just an angry pony, that’s all. Why?”
“Well, she’s been staring at us all lunch.”
The remains of a half-swallowed chunk of sandwich threatened to jump back up the esophagus at the news. With much pain, Blueblood swallowed his lunch and leaned forward himself. Sure enough, Lofty was staring at them from her own class group. Her eyes were glaring, her wings extended, and her hooves shaking in anticipation of rearranging Blueblood’s face. The threat was slightly dulled by the globs of peanut butter and jelly smeared across her face and hooves, but the intention was perfectly clear.
“Whatever you did, you sure made her mad,” Ribbon said.
“She’ll forget it in time,” Blueblood said with a shrug. “And what about the other two we were with? Where are they?”
“Their class has lunch after ours,” Ribbon said. “We can only play together during recess. By the way, do you want to climb the jungle gym after you’ve finished eating? We get to play a little before we have to go back to class.”
Blueblood swallowed the last bite of his sandwich, its bare taste doing little to captivate his taste buds. He had never liked apples as a colt, and he doubted he would now. His pudding would have to remain trapped for the time being; there was no way he was going to lower himself to eating it with his tongue or by sucking it out like a normal, spoonless foal would. Well, it appears I am done eating, and I do have to start forming some sort of network here…
“Sure. I’d love to.”
----------
It was after about two hours of watching the new recruits run their drills that Shining Armor realized why he hated this part of the job so much.
It hadn’t always been this way. When he was a colt, he would watch the guards outside the palace gates change shifts, mimicking their salutes and gestures as best he could. When that wasn’t an option, he would read old training manuals he got from the library, and then copy everything inside so he could be the best guardpony in all of Equestria. Even when he reached young adulthood and finally got into the Royal Military Academy, he just loved every last movement of the legs, every kink and clang of his rusty trainee armor, and the sweat on his brow from a successful Shield Spell.
But then he became Captain of the Guard. Suddenly, the routine duties of his former positions were considered to be beneath him by his peers. He would run through the usual swordplay and magic practice, but the rest of the time he was expected to “supervise.” And today was no exception.
The guards marched in their usual formations, with each one standing shoulder to shoulder in perfect symmetry. Every hoofstep was executed with absolute adherence to rhythm, to the point that the entire compound shook from the thunderous sounds of their hooves. And all Shining Armor had to do was watch some of the really young Academy students banged on a pair of massive drums. Each guard’s legs lifted and dropped to the banging of the drums, the beat playing over and over again until each pony had it burned into their brains.
Suddenly, the drums stopped completely. Realizing his cue, Shining Armor floated a whistle to his lips and blew. The shrill screech echoed throughout the grounds, but the guards were unfazed. That is, until Armor started pointing northward. “ARROWS!”
The response was quick and professional, as was expected of the Royal Guard. The Pegasus Guard took to the skies, hovering about six feet off the ground and baring their more heavily-armored barrels to the sky. The Unicorn Guard, meanwhile, ducked in beneath their flying compatriots and started charging their horns to deflect the oncoming squall.
Another shrill screech, and Armor’s hoof was pointed westward. “DRAGON!”
The guard wheeled itself around without as much as a single break in their lines. The only difference lay in the brighter glow coming from the horns, and the heavier beats of the wings.
Armor was just about to blow the whistle again when he heard another, much louder pair of wings flap beside him. And then came the voice. The loud, demanding voice that could break a lesser pony’s spirit like it was twine. “Captain Shining Armor. It is good to see you attending to your responsibilities already.”
Slowly, Shining and his stallions turned towards the large, dark blue, winged-and-horned regal pony that had just entered the yard. In a flash, the entire guard unit was on their knees in reverence. “Y-Your Highness?”
“There is no need for such reverence, Shining Armor,” Luna said with a wry smile. “I am sorry to interrupt the day’s training exercises, but I must speak to you in private tonight. We have much to discuss.”
Shining Armor raised an eyebrow at the request. He had only spoken to Luna in private a hoofful of times, and even then it was just so she could complain that he wasn’t following some ancient protocol or how unfitting the new suits of armor looked on his guards. Still, he couldn’t help but notice something decidedly different about her. She seemed far more relaxed than before, her eyes were genuinely warm and welcoming, and her speech was no longer peppered with anachronisms like in the past. “I…I will be there.”
“Very good. I wish for you to speak to me tonight, just before you retire. Meet me in my bedchambers.” The guards immediately gasped, prompting Luna to roll her eyes in disgust. “And no, it’s not for that.” I thought we hired stallions and mares, not foals.
“Of course, your Highness,” Shining Armor said. “I will see you tonight, as ordered.”
Luna nodded her acknowledgment and flew off without another word, heading towards her personal tower to get some rest. Once he was sure she wasn’t going to come screeching back, Shining Armor turned back to his waiting guards. The horde of ponies were glancing about each other in confusion, each not entirely sure what to say to Luna’s sudden appearance and departure.
Then came the shrill screech of the whistle, followed by Shining Armor pointing towards the horizon. “Look out! We’ve stumbled in the path of the Great Dragon Migration! Everypony scramble!” The guards promptly shut their mouths and darted to their predestinated spots in the defensive formation.
----------
Blueblood and Ribbon were almost at the jungle gym when the trouble began.
Orange Peel and his blue-coated crony from before sauntered up to Blueblood so quietly that the cold barely had time to register what was happening until both unicorns were circling around him like vultures. The royal foal seized up immediately, his eyes following the two in confusion. “Is there something I can help you with?”
Orange’s sidekick snickered at Blueblood’s response. “Do ya hear this kid? He talks like a big pony!”
“And he’s a real egghead, too,” Orange Peel added. Blueblood’s eyes drifted downward just enough to notice the extra bits of dirt his attacker was kicking up with each step. “Hey, Snowball! You ever hear of a new pony knowing so much about magic?!”
“I…study?” was Blueblood’s response.
All this earned was another round of riotous laughter from the two bullies. The other fillies and colts simply started walking away from the scene, just in case the two burly youths decided to turn their wrath on them next. Even Ribbon was starting to backpedal away, hiding behind the jungle gym for dear life. “Oh, is that all? I never heard of a foal who actually liked going to school!”
“I…I don’t like it.” Blueblood could feel something tearing up inside. It was a cold, empty feeling, the likes of which he had not experienced in such a long time. He could almost taste his will to live flee from his body. “I…I’m just smart, that’s all.”
The entire playground erupted into a fit of laughter, the foals either laughing because they genuinely enjoyed watching yet another egghead suffer, or because they didn’t want to end up next on the bully’s hit list. Orange Peel was barely able to contain his laughter. “Well, if you’ve got such a big brain, maybe you should share it with the rest of us!”
The raucous laughter only grew in volume. Blueblood could feel a thousand little eyes leering in on him, threatening to crush him beneath the weight of peer disapproval and ridicule. He had felt such things before, usually after he had said something that should have been kept quiet or humiliated another pony before he was supposed to. Even worse, he was hopelessly outnumbered, he couldn’t levitate a weapon to his aid, and his attempts at brandishing even a training sword in his mouth tended to end with chipped teeth and splinters. That left only one way out of this situation.
Run.
Blueblood began to back away from the two, his head bent downward to refrain from any antagonizing eye contact, until he was just next to the sandbox. His steps couldn’t come fast enough, however, and Snowball and Orange Peel were surrounding him. Already the bullies could taste sweet victory. “Ah, what’s the matter?” asked Snowball. “Are you gonna cry like a sissy little filly?”
“Of course not!” Blueblood’s shaky shouting betrayed his growing fear. “I am not afraid of the likes of-”
Whatever boasts the deposed prince could have dug up died as one of his hind legs stepped onto the wooden edge of the sandbox. It didn’t step back far enough, however, and when he tried to place more weight on it to pull himself up it slipped and sent him fumbling forward. At the same moment, Orange Peel had wandered in front of him, ready to unleash yet another round of insults. In his sneering glee, he had failed to notice Blueblood’s current predicament.
Nor did he notice how Blueblood’s trajectory was heading right to his head.
The two crashed into each other like a cart rolling down a hill, tumbling into a massive pile of limbs and hooves. Snowball instinctively dove to his friend’s aid, pushing Blueblood off of Orange Peel’s body and pulling the downed colt back to his hooves. The noise, however, was enough to finally attract the attention of the otherwise indifferent teachers. Miss Brightly galloped up to the other injured student, who was barely able to hold himself back from bawling like an infant.
There was a massive bruise around his eye, no doubt from impacting with Orange Peel’s horn and forehead. Fortunately, the horn hadn’t actually hit his eyeball, so there was no sign of impalement. The shellshocked Miss Brightly could only mutter a few “Oh, dears,” before helping Blueblood onto her back and cantering towards the nurse’s office.
----------
From her vantage point at the sidewalk, Lofty had seen everything. She had watched Blueblood get the bullying and shellacking he so richly deserved, only to have him get carted off like a downed victim. Even worse, she felt nothing in this moment. There was no rush of victory, no cause for celebration, and not even any eternal glory from defeating an evil prince. The bully had really been hurt, and that certainly never happened in the books her mother insisted on reading to her.
He got what he deserved. But he also got really hurt. What am I supposed to do?
The filly let out a resigned sigh as her better nature got the best of her. She slowly turned to her teacher, a violet pegasus mare with a crossed pair of pencils as a cutie mark. “Mrs. Sketch, can I please go to the nurse’s office?”
“What’s wrong, Lofty?” the teacher asked.
“Well…that was a…” Her brain gagged at the word. “Friend of mine, and I really wanted to see if he was okay.”
The teacher contemplated her options for a few minutes, then turned back to the filly with a big smile. “Of course, if you’re willing to give up the rest of your lunch break. I’ll take you down there right away. We can’t keep your little friend waiting, after all.”
“Nope!” the filly said with a fake smile. “We sure can’t keep my…friend waiting.”
----------
“Now does it hurt?”
Blueblood looked up at the nurse with his one open eye. The other was still in working order, but was covered by an ice pack to help prevent any swelling. The nurse, a middle-aged Earth pony mare with a pair of medical crosses on her flank, kept the blue pack pressed firmly against the massive wound with one hoof, while the other front leg balanced on the edge of the cot the colt was now sitting on. Miss Brightly just watched from the doorway, feeling concern both for the hurt little colt and the damage this would do to her pension, assuming she even had a job after today.
Blueblood moved one of his own forehooves to the pack. The nurse pulled her hoof back on reflex, allowing the colt to take over. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” It was a lie. That whole section of his face felt like somepony had taken a hammer to it. Unicorn horns were harder than the rest of their bones, both out of necessity and because of the amount of magic that flowed through even an untrained foal’s pointy cone. He was just lucky gravity hadn’t dragged him just an inch or two to the right, and that a foal’s horn was round at the tip rather than the sharpened point it would eventually become.
“Honestly, is he going to be all right?” asked Miss Brightly.
The nurse smiled and patted Blueblood on the top of the head, causing him to grimace from the patronization of it all. “He doesn’t seem to be too hurt. You can return to class, if you wish. I can take him back when he’s ready.”
Miss Brightly turned to Blueblood. “Is that all right, Leon?” Blueblood responded with a nod. “Very well, then. I’m so sorry this happened on your first day here. Those two have been trouble since the year began, but this is the first time they’ve actually hurt anypony. Trust me, their parents are going to hear all about this.”
There was a knock at the door, followed by another adult’s voice. “Excuse me? Can I come in?”
Miss Brightly raised a confused eye as she recognized the voice. “Oh…of course, Mrs. Sketch.” The teacher’s horn ignited, her magic opening the door to reveal the named teacher and a small filly. Blueblood recoiled slightly as he recognized his visitor: Lofty. “What can we do for you?”
“Well, Lofty here was so worried about that poor colt that she wanted to make sure he was all right. Apparently they’re friends outside of school.” The older Pegasus smiled down at the yellow filly, who gave an equally large smile back. “She is such a caring filly.”
“That is so precious!” cooed the nurse. “Is it all right if she stays a few minutes? I’m sure Leon would appreciate it after what’s happened.”
“I don’t see much of a problem,” Mrs. Sketch shrugged. “Just make sure she’s back soon. We’re going to start Reading Corner soon.” She looked down at Lofty. “Do you want to stay?”
Lofty nodded affirmatively, not daring to speak lest she give away her true intentions. Blueblood, meanwhile, found himself wishing he could just hoist himself out the nearest window. He was in no condition to fight this filly right now, and she was the only one her privy to his true identity. All she had to do was tell the nurse what had happened, and he would not only be exposed to the world at large, but would find himself at the mercy of a pony close to Princess Celestia. He had seen it time and again in the Royal Court; by Celestia, he had pulled the same trick dozens of times himself. It was what was expected of a noble, after all.
“Very well, then,” said Mrs. Sketch. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
“Allow me to walk with you,” added Miss Brightly. “Lunch period is almost over, and I don’t want to let the aides get overwhelmed corralling the foals.”
The teachers gave their students a final farewell, said their thanks to the nurse, and were gone. The moment they left, the nurse herself started packing together some bandages and disinfectant. “I’m sorry to leave you, but I have to attend to something. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” And with that, she, too, was gone, leaving two Kindergarten-aged foals completely unsupervised in the middle of a school.
Once she was sure the nurse was out of earshot, Lofty’s smile changed to a frown. Her eyes locked onto the captive Blueblood, ready and willing to shoot him down for the slightest bit of disobedience or rude behavior. “Okay, what are you really doing here?!”
Blueblood sighed and rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to appear any weaker than he already had. “Princess Celestia thought I could learn something by coming here. I fear she was mistaken. There is nothing valuable that can be taught by a school that would allow a troublesome Pegasus like you admittance.”
Lofty gasped, her mouth recoiling open in offended horror at his words. “Y-You think I’m the bad pony here! You’re the one who tried to kidnap the Princess! You were gonna slap me in the face!”
“Because you got in the way,” Blueblood said.
Seeing there was nothing to gain here, the filly gave an “Hmph!” and turned to the door. “Well, if that’s how you’re going to be, I sorry I came. Call me when you stop being a jerk.”
She was about five steps from the door when she heard it. “Stop.”
Lofty was never quite sure what motivated her to actually answer Blueblood’s plea. She had already seen enough of the “colt” to last a lifetime. Her mother had always taught her to forgive and forget, but even she had sent the meanie flying with one swift kick. He had made her out to be a crazy pony to her friends, all so he could steal them from her. She didn’t care if he was related to the Princess anymore; all she wanted was to leave and never see him again.
And yet, by some unfathomable twist in life, she turned around and faced Blueblood again. Her eyes popped open at what she saw. Gone was the infinite levels of smugness radiating from his very complexion. What was before her this time was little more than a scared colt, with no idea where to go or who to turn to. As much as she hated to admit it, she really couldn’t bring herself to walk away.
Sighing in defeat to her blasted morals, the filly walked away from the door and plopped down in front of the cot. “What do you want?”
Blueblood took in a massive gulp of air before continuing. His face was already beginning to beat bright red. There was one thing the Prince was never good at, and that was groveling. “I...I would like to request your services.”
Lofty tilted her head to her right, her eyes already narrowing in a rage. “What does that mean?”
Why must I deal with such foals? “It means I want your help. If I can meet whatever criteria…” He saw the blank, non-understanding feeling in Lofty’s eyes again. “If I can do what she wants, she’ll let me be a big pony again.”
“And what does she want?”
Blueblood shrugged. “That’s what makes it so troublesome. She hasn’t told me anything.”
“So how am I supposed to help you?” Lofty asked. “She might be my friend, but that doesn’t mean I can read her mind. I haven’t even seen her since she became a big pony again.”
“I just want you to promise to help me when I finally figure out what she wants,” Blueblood said. “I doubt it will be anything illegal or too terrible. It’s Princess Celestia, after all. She barely has a bad bone in her body.”
“So…you want me to promise to help you do something, but you don’t know what that is, and if you do whatever it is you have to do, Princess Celestia will turn you back into a mean old pony again?”
Blueblood rubbed the back of his crest with his free forehoof. “I…wouldn’t have included the ‘mean old pony’ part. But yes, that is what I am proposing.”
Lofty tilted her head. “Pro-what now? You’re not trying to marry me, are you?!”
“No, of course not!” The ice back began to slip slightly, dripping its coldness across an ever-increasing portion of Blueblood’s face. “I am simply asking for your help.”
Lofty was silent for several moments, causing Blueblood no small measure of continued distress. He could already feel the hoofscrews twisting in her mind. It had been foolish to ask for her…
“I’ll do it.”
Blueblood’s jaw dropped in surprise. Lofty’s eyes were closed, as if she herself was not believing what she was saying. “Y-You will?”
Her eyes suddenly flew open, revealing a dagger-like set of eyes. Blueblood had see the look before; it was the same thing she tried to use to stop him during his foalnapping attempt. He started shuffling back against the wall as the filly drew closer. “But listen up! I’m only doing this because Princess Celestia’s involved, and I want to help her, not you. You were mean as a stallion, you’re probably still mean, and since you’re a colt now, you’re swimming with cooties. From this point on, if you hurt any of my friends, or do anything that makes us look bad, or act in any way like you used to, I will turn you in! But right before that, I’ll show you what these hooves can do to a jerk’s face! Understood!”
Blueblood gulped back his growing terror. “Y-Yes!”
The nurse’s door suddenly swung open, revealing the room’s owner. The two foals quickly reassumed their normal, childish smiles and chuckles, as if nothing had happened. The nurse smiled as she saw the spectacle. “I’m so glad you two are getting along! There’s nothing that fights a bad day like a good friend, after all! Are you two ready to go back to class?”
“Yes, ma’am!” Lofty said.
“Uh…yes,” said Blueblood. “I…I think I’m ready.” Ready to get away from this future ax murderer as soon as possible!
“That’s wonderful!” said Equestria’s most oblivious medical professional. Come on, I’ll take you two back to class.”
----------
Sky Bloom reached the school gates just as the bell rang. Looking down, the servant could see the tiny pebbles skipping in place as a horde of hooves came storming out of the preschool, their thunderous pounding accompanied by shrill shrieks of joy. The other mothers and fathers eagerly embraced their foals as they darted out, the older ones listening intently as the younger ponies prattled on about their day’s adventures like they were the most fascinating things in the world. Even Bloom couldn’t help but blush as she thought of the stories Blueblood would have to tell.
And then she saw her “son.”
The colt slowly wandered through the gate, looking more than a little disheveled. The big black mark around his eye was certainly nothing that could be glossed over. Standing next to him was Miss Brightly and two fillies: one a yellow Pegasus, the other a blue Unicorn.
Gasping, Sky Bloom galloped over to Blueblood and pulled him in for a hug. The colt struggled at first, but then gave in rather than risk drawing a scene. Her eyes locked in on the teacher. “What happened?”
“I’m afraid some of the foals were playing a little too rough,” Miss Brightly answered. “One of them struck him by accident.”
Sky Bloom’s eyes narrowed. “By accident?”
Miss Brightly nodded. “I’m afraid so. In any case, I have to escort some of the foals home. Their parents are still at work, and they can’t go wandering around Canterlot on their own.” She turned to the waiting two, as well as another small crowd of fillies and colts just past the two little ponies. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
Her goal of remaining willfully indifferent satisfied for the day, Miss Brightly trotted over to the homeward-bound foals. Once they were a safe distance away, the two fillies turned to Sky Bloom. By now, the young mare had dropped Blueblood, who now stood at her side if only for the added protection. “So…was it really an accident?”
The blue filly shook her head. “No. Some stupid ponies were picking on him because he was smarter than them.”
“I figured,” Sky Bloom muttered. She looked down at her false child, who was still rubbing at his bruised eye. “Are you okay? Do we have to stop by a doctor’s office?”
“I’m fine,” Blueblood muttered.
“I-If you’re sure,” Sky Bloom said. “Now come, we have to get going.”
The two ponies spun about and started down the street towards the castle. The mare was trying to look as normal as ever, while the colt hung his head low in shame. He had been bested in a fight, proven wrong in his assertions about what was popular, and had been forced to seek aid from an enemy. All in all, this was not shaping up to be a grand day.
“Hey, Leon!”
Blueblood spun his head back to the two fillies. By now, they had joined the small herd of similar foals, if only to keep from getting left behind. Lofty was still staring at him, albeit more in a curious way rather than the maliciousness of before, but Ribbon was enthusiastically waving her forehoof to get his attention. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”
All Blueblood could muster was an, “Um…yes, sure.” His body told another story, however. His cheeks were crimson from a combination of embarrassment and general cluelessness about what to say next. He hadn’t been greeted in such a way for decades, and even then it was only with the few family members that could tolerate his presence. He couldn’t help it if his parents actually told him how a noble was supposed to behave, but they still wouldn’t wave at him on the street.
And Ribbon was a total stranger. She shouldn’t be nice to anypony she didn’t know, especially strange colts that just appeared out of nowhere for no discernible reason and wouldn’t be staying very long.
He was knocked out of his reverie only when he felt a hoof playfully jab at his shoulder. He spun around to find himself facing Sky Bloom once again. This time, the mare seemed to be smiling. “I guess today wasn’t completely terrible, after all?”
Blueblood shrugged. “I suppose. I’m still no closer to being an adult again, though.”
Sky Bloom said nothing more, only rolling her eyes and making sure the two were moving in the right direction.
----------
Shining Armor blushed slightly as he entered Princess Luna’s quarters. He had been in Celestia’s chambers plenty of times, but had never been in his new ruler’s private sanctuary before. Given the stories he had heard of Luna, he was honestly surprised at how remarkably simply the whole place was.
Luna stood impatiently at the center of the room, next to a large wooden trunk. “Captain Armor. I thank you for responding so quickly. The Captain we had a thousand years ago would have taken almost an hour longer just to get up the stairs.”
Armor adjusted his…armor slightly, its metal joints clinking and clanging against each other as he pushed them aside. With a glow of his horn, he closed the door behind him, leaving the two utterly alone. “H-How may I help you, Princess?”
Luna shuffled a few steps closer to the chest. “I trust Princess Celestia has told you of what happened during your absence.”
“Well, yes, but not exactly,” Armor replied. “I understand she was turned into a filly by some spell, and that Twilight was responsible for turning her back.”
Luna nodded in response. “And I take it you have learned what happened to Prince Blueblood.”
Shining Armor grumbled at the name. “From what I can gather, he was hit with the same spell that was used on Princess Celestia. He’s still a colt, I take it?”
“And attending Magic Kindergarten, believe it or not.” Luna turned towards her window, her eyes glancing over the whole of the palace grounds with a forlorn gaze. “When she began this scheme, however, she had not factored that you would be back early, or that Princess Mi Amore Cadenza…”
“Cadance.”
Luna growled. “Princess Cadance would be returning to the palace as well. Since the two of you were well out of Canterlot when this mess began, it was necessary to…reevaluate where you stand in her plan.”
“I’ve already spoken to her about Blueblood,” Shining Armor responded. “I gave her my word I wouldn’t hurt him in any way. And besides, even if he is scum, it wouldn’t be right to pick on a foal, would it?”
Sighing, Luna turned back to the waiting Shining Armor and trotted up to the chest. With a glow of her horn, the chest opened, revealing a small photograph on top. Curious, Shining Armor leaned over to take a closer look. He soon regretted his decision. “I-Is that…?”
“Twilight Sparkle? Yes, I’m afraid it is. This was taken the day Celestia returned to normal and Blueblood became a colt.” Luna floated the picture over to Shining Armor, who grabbed it with his own telekinesis. “You see, when the counterspell was used, the excess energies from the curse exploded around Celestia’s body. Everypony had to put on hazard suits to keep from being affected by the same spell. Twilight had one as well, but Blueblood broke into the room in a mad frenzy. Your sister tried to stop him from attacking Celestia, but his horn ripped a hole in her suit during the struggle, and…”
Shining slowly lowered the picture. His eyes were like daggers, desperately seeking out somepony to stab for this. “He…He got my little sis cursed?!”
“We did manage to restore her to normal,” said Luna. “Had we not been able to, however, she would have been trapped as a filly until she had aged back the natural way. Even worse, he could have seriously hurt her. She’s powerful, but if that horn hadn’t just hit the suit…”
Every fiber of Shining Armor’s being screamed murder. “Just tell me what to do…”
----------
Unbeknownst to the two conspirators, their conversation had not gone unnoticed. Sitting on the rooftop above Luna’s chambers, Celestia had decided to privy herself to all the little details of Luna’s meeting with Shining Armor. And so far, she did not like what she was hearing.
Luna…why are you doing this? Why are you torturing your own nephew?
She stared off at the distant moon, Luna’s former prison and her personal torture device for a thousand years. The night was just beginning, and already things seemed to be falling apart. Perhaps Luna is right. Blueblood may just be irredeemable. But…
She couldn’t help the memory. It struck her like a bolt of lightning and refused to release her until it was done…
----------
Another day, another crisis. That’s how it had felt to Celestia for almost a thousand years. Ever since Nightmare Moon, she had been balancing the entire nation on her back, and she couldn’t help but feel herself starting to shrug. Things were as normal as ever in Equestria, and she still had a little over a decade before Nightmare Moon’s return, but time was running short. Her sister’s inevitable stab at revenge only added to the stress already building on the Princess.
There was one moment of solace in the day, however, and that always came around six o’clock every night. This night was no different.
There was a knock on her chamber door, as usual. Celestia would climb out of bed, trot slowly and gracefully to the doorway, and finally open the entrance herself. She would then have five seconds before the little white colt charged and grabbed onto one of her long limbs.
Again, tonight was no exception.
Celestia laughed at the tiny, super-excited foal. “Welcome back, Blueblood. How is everything?”
“Amazing!” Blueblood answered. “I got an ‘A’ on my spelling test today, and Ponetics said I was one of the best ponies she’s ever tutored!” The colt finally released his aunt’s leg, his tiny little eyes locking onto hers like an overly-enthusiastic puppy. “And now we get to hang out!”
“Yes we do,” Celestia said. “Now, I want you to tell me all about your day today. And tell me everything this time. Yesterday, you didn’t say you had mustard with your salad.”
The two had a small laugh, and the colt began to describe his misadventures in great detail. And Celestia, for her part, laid herself upon the floor and listened to them all. She smiled and nuzzled the colt as he described his daring climbs out of the castle windows, even as she chided him for his carelessness. She cheered him on as he spoke of fighting imaginary dragons and bandits in her name, cried with him when he talked about something terrible his father had done, and comforted him when he wondered if he would ever amount to much as a prince.
Celestia had a lot of relatives, to be sure. None of them were directly linked to her or Luna, of course, but adopted family was still family. She had plenty of nephews and nieces, nearly all of them within spitting distance of the castle. And yet, Blueblood was the only one to regularly visit her, the only one who wasn’t terrified of her presence. And despite her misgivings of his aristocratic parents, she couldn’t help but just hug and love the foal.
He was, after all, her favorite nephew.
----------
Blueblood laid himself upon his bed. His mind was already going over everything that had happened today, if only to find some kind of pattern to this madness. So far, he was coming up blank, save for one thing.
According to Aunt Celestia, the Elements of Harmony are the most powerful form of magic in the land. And at the center of it all is Magic, or rather, Friendship. If I apply the same thinking to the school, then the path to power is clear. I need to make friends. The more friends I have, the more influence I have on the school grounds. If that is what Princess Celestia wants, then that is what she will get.
He scoffed at the simplicity of it all. And I’ve already got three friends. How hard could this be?
TO BE CONTINUED…
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
-AND-
A Wholly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
On most mornings, the sight of the sun piercing the horizon was all the satisfaction Celestia needed to get going. That, and her usual cup of tea; or rather, a cup of honey with some tea buried in there so deep that not even a team of dedicated archaeologists could ever hope to find it. On those days, taking in the morning breeze through her nostrils was enough to jog the Sun Princess out of whatever funk she had acquired overnight, and ready her for yet another wonderful day.
This day, however, made no such promises.
She knew that Luna was already sleeping, or at least sequestered in, her quarters. Shining Armor had, as always, awakened an hour before her, and was already supervising the changeover between the graveyard and morning shifts. Celestia sighed, her mind reflecting on the conversation she had overheard between these two just last night. The two are up to something, I just know it. I just can’t understand Luna right now. Why is she so insistent on denying our nephew even one chance at redeeming himself?
Such thoughts were dispelled with a mighty shake of Celestia’s head. Fretting about this will not solve anything. I have to get to the bottom of whatever scheme Luna’s thought up and put an end to it.
“Um…Your Highness?”
Celestia’s eyes widened and lips curled as she turned to her waiting servant. “Good morning, Leafy Greens. It’s certainly a lovely day, is it not?”
Leafy allowed herself one chuckle – two would be improper – and gave a quick bow. “I just wished to inform you that breakfast is ready. Princess Luna has already begun dining.”
Luna…
Celestia’s eyes lit up like the very sun, while a devious smirk crossed her lips. The gears in her ancient mind were already beginning to turn, grinding together until yet another plan came into being. “Thank you, Mrs. Greens. I’m sure breakfast will be lovely.”
And it’s time I started working Luna over.
----------
Blueblood slumped out of bed just moments after the alarm clock began screaming. After resetting the accursed device, he let out a loud yawn and stretched his legs, starting with the front and ending with the rear. Once his muscles were all nice and loose, the colt smiled. This was going to be his best day in a long while.
Today, he was going to be back to normal.
----------
Blueblood stared at the infernal brush for several minutes, his mind trying desperately to wrap itself around how such a thing was supposed to operate. His aunt, in her infinite wisdom, had decided that he should attend to his own grooming, an act that utterly baffled the prince. Ever since he was a colt, he had other ponies to brush his teeth, comb his mane, straighten his coat, and file his hooves. And now she expects me to do all this by myself? Aunt Celestia truly is a monster.
Sighing, Blueblood slipped his hoof into the brush’s strap and, after some clumsy acrobatics, finally got the thing into a position to brush his mane. He winced at the occasional knot or tug, but otherwise his mind was elsewhere. Today, he had to prove himself to be the same, glorious pony he always was. And the only way to do that was to make friends.
There was only one problem. How does a common pony make friends, anyway?
The more the colt tried to piece together an answer, the bigger his migraine got. The court was so much easier. Friends were just temporary allies, there to help you step on the backs of others while you plunged a dagger into their own spines. I could easily buy as many companions as I needed, and my relation to Princess Celestia made me a magnet for foolish nobles desperate to climb up. He shook his head in frustration, and then yelped in pain as his brush caught on another knot. But I don’t have that anymore. All of my money and possessions are being held by Celestia, and I can’t reveal who I am to a bunch of stupid foals. Not that they would know royalty if it struck them in their pudgy little faces.
Then it hit him. Wait…yesterday, Ribbon just walked up to me and asked if I wanted to be friends with her. And it worked. Perhaps these common ponies hold some sort of mystical secret that we nobles have forgotten over time.
That’s when he remembered his unwilling partner in all this. Lofty was able to make friends with Princess Celestia herself. She must be the one that taught Ribbon how to perform such a thing. If I can speak to her before school starts, I might be able to convince her to give me the same lessons!
Blueblood grinned at his victory, despite having to perform manual labor for the first time in his life. Yes, this is it. Once I’m on top of the school, I’ll be a stallion again in no time!
----------
Luna was halfway done with her omelet when Celestia finally arrived for her breakfast/Luna’s dinner. The Night Mare made no motion to acknowledge her sister’s presence aside from a small nod and whispered greeting. The Sun Princess simply sat herself down at the table, lifted her fork (and once again briefly went over her plans for a hoof-friendly device in her head), and started cutting in.
It was right as the tines were piercing the second cheese-and-onion layer that Luna finally broke the uncomfortable silence. “So…I see Blueblood is not joining us?”
Celestia took a bite, swiped the gooey strand of cheese away with her fork, and swallowed loudly before answering. “He eats in his room. He’s allowed outside for school, but when he comes home, he is not allowed to leave his cell.” Her eyes narrowed. “And what of Shining Armor? Will he be assisting in Blueblood’s rehabilitation?”
Luna nodded. “Yes, he said he would be glad to help. I always knew our Captain of the Guard was a dependable stallion, even if he is rather young.” She swallowed another bite. “So, what is on the agenda today?”
Celestia prodded the side of her cheek, staining her coat with fried egg yolk, processed cheeses and pepper as she did so. “Besides a morning meeting with the Canterlot Times and a darling afternoon with the most boring Agriculture Advisor in the last two centuries, the rest of my time will be spent finishing up yesterday’s work. I trust the Night Court has some fresh legislation for me?”
“On your desk, notarized, and ready for your signature.”
The room once again fell deathly silent, save for the scraping of silverware on plates and the occasional rustling of a new guard trying to mater holding his bladder for hours on end. Luna’s breakfast plate had been emptied by this point, and the servants were already hustling the dishes back to the kitchens for cleaning. Celestia, on the other hoof, was taking a very, very long time to finish her meal; in the same period it had taken Luna to finish one omelet, she had barely taken a quarter of her own.
Luna’s right eye twitched slightly and ear twitched slightly as she just sat there and watched her sister eat. “May I be excused, sister? I would like to get some rest before today.”
“And give up this chance for us to speak?” Celestia said. “Luna, things may be better than they were only a week ago, but that doesn’t mean we can just rest on our laurels. The breakfast and dinner tables are still the best time to talk about any plans we may have, don’t you think?”
The twitch mutated into something dangerously approaching a snapped nerve. Luna scowled even as Celestia’s face turned into a knowing, almost mocking smile. “Why, sister, whatever do you mean?”
“Oh, nothing specific.” Celestia took another tiny bite, even as Luna’s scowl transformed into a low, almost animalistic growl. “I just want to know what you have planned for the day. After all, you don’t plan to spend all of the daytime locked in your bedroom again.”
Luna’s nerves relaxed, if only slightly. The mocking tune she had picked up in her sister’s actions seemed to vanish against a screen of sincerity, which was enough to cool the Moon Princess’ easily-ignitable nerves. “Well, it is one of the last long days we shall have this year. I was hoping to get some more rest before winter arrived.”
Celestia’s smile grew. “It sounds wonderful. But there is something I wanted to discuss. It’s about Blueblood.”
Luna froze, her ears pricking up at the name. She could tell something was off about the question before Celestia had even said it. “Yes, what about him?”
“If this plan is going to work, we will need a more structured environment with which to, for lack of a better word, ‘raise’ Blueblood in.” Celestia took yet another slow, labored bite. “So, I was thinking that perhaps we should reorganize our family structure slightly.”
Luna raised an eye at this. “Reorganize what?”
“What I mean is, we should act less like his aunts and more like…well, parents.”
“Parents?” Luna scoffed at the very notion. “As far as I know, he already had a pair of those, and they certainly did not do him any good.”
“But they aren’t as old and wise as we are,” Celestia said. “We can do a lot better for him right now than they ever did. It’s just…something to think about.”
Luna’s eyes drifted down towards the table, her lips sealed tighter than a steel trap. Okay, Luna, weigh your options. On the one hoof, this nephew is a family-betraying monster, and it is your sworn duty to bring him to justice for his crimes. On the other hoof, if you can get closer to him, it will make it easier to ensure his banishment.
The Night Mare raised her head until she was eye level with Celestia. “I…suppose we may give it a chance.”
Celestia grinned. Exactly as planned. “That’s wonderful. I’ll start working on a list of duties as soon as possible. Starting tomorrow, Blueblood will have two mommies!”
Mere seconds after uttering that line, Celestia clapped a hoof over her mouth and blushed in embarrassment. The implications of her sister’s declaration caused Luna to wince. “C-Could you…rephrase that, perhaps?”
“I-I apologize. I was just…swept up in the moment.” The Sun Princess cast her eyes down at her plate, where her omelet was angrily waiting for her to finish eating it. “You are excused, Luna. I’ve discussed all I needed to talk about.”
“Very good, then,” Luna said. “If you will excuse me, I must get some rest. I have to deal with Baron Frazzleberry again. Something about his son getting into fights.”
Luna slowly pulled herself off her purple pillow, pausing only to pat her lips down with a napkin before starting towards the hall. Celestia levitated her fork back down, cutting off a rather large chunk of her breakfast before slowly lifting back towards her lips…
“I believe this shall be quite interesting,” Luna said from the doorway. “Especially if you plan to do this with every criminal that comes through our door.”
Everything in and around Celestia stopped instantaneously. The only thing she managed to move were her eyes and mouth. “I…I’m sorry?”
Luna closed her eyes and smiled, looking as cute as possible while she dug the knife in deeper. “We must treat all our subjects fairly, after all. If Blueblood is going to be given this opportunity, then we must extend it to everypony in Equestria. We would not wish to show Blueblood as our favorite pony, after all.”
Celestia tried to mutter something, some explanation for why she was doing this, but Luna simply turned around and left. Once her sister had gone, she slowly lowered the fork back down, resting it on the plate.
Celestia, you have a lot to think about.
----------
Sky Bloom’s eyes shot wide open when she saw Blueblood. The colt was practically bouncing, a far cry from his defeated demeanor only a day before. The servant couldn’t help but smile a little, even if he had been an egotistical blowhard less than a week ago. “Well, hello. What’s gotten into you today?”
“I have to get to school early!” Blueblood shouted. “There’s somepony I have to talk to!”
Sky snickered, pressing her mouth closed with one hoof. “I see. Could this have something to do with your little friends from yesterday?”
Blueblood’s bouncing stopped, like somepony had cut the metaphorical trampoline out from underneath him. “I-It’s not like that! I just need to be there bright and early today! It’s vitally important!”
“Alright, alright!” Sky Bloom said. She trotted past her young ward and pushed the door open. “Come on, let’s get going. I have a lot to do today.”
“So do I,” Blueblood said while walking past. Sky Bloom waited until he was about halfway down the path, then smiled. “You’re looking better already.”
----------
The colt’s eagerness had paid off, and he was safely tucked away at the school before his target could even get within a few yards. From his spot in the bushes, Blueblood watched as Lofty approached the school grounds, accompanied by her mother, Ruby Dream. The colt’s eyes glazed over slightly as memories of a kick in the tush came rushing back, but a few rolls of the eyes and shimmies of the head was all it took to get him back on track.
Ruby and Lofty halted in front of the school gates. The latter turned to face the former, her saddlebags bouncing slightly as she moved, with a small frown. “Do I have to?”
“Now Lofty, you can’t be mean to a new student just because he’s different.” Lofty blushed and lowered her head at her mother’s reprimanding. “Remember when you started going here? It wasn’t easy for you, was it?”
“B-But he’s evil!”
Ruby giggled at her daughter’s bizarre assertions. “I’m sure Leon is a nice little colt, and if you give him a chance, you two can be best friends.”
Lofty pouted like an average foal, but couldn’t bring herself to argue with her mother. Not only was she the entire reason Lofty existed in the first place (even if she didn’t quite get how the stork figured into it), but she was also much bigger than her, and endowed by Princess Luna herself with the power to dispense groundings and spankings as needed. At least, that’s what Ruby had told her in the past. “Oh…okay. I guess I can try.”
Ruby smiled and gave her daughter a quick jab on the shoulder. The nudge was quick, but it was also so soft and gentle that Lofty couldn’t help but smile warmly at the touch. “I’ll see you later, mom.”
The mare gave a wide, slightly toothy grin before pulling her hapless filly into a tight hug. Lofty blushed at making such overt physical contact with her mother, and only the fact that there weren’t any of her friends (or enemies) nearby to watch kept her from freaking out. “Have a good day at school, honey.”
The tender scene continued for several more moments before Lofty managed to break free and brush herself free of any mom germs. Satisfied that her daughter was safe and sound, Ruby turned on her hooves and trotted away towards the palace. The filly sighed, double-checked her bags just to make sure she hadn’t forgotten the sugar cookies she had smuggled out of the kitchen, and started towards the school grounds with her head hanging low. Stupid Prince Blueblood and his stupid curse and his stupid…
“Hello, ‘Honey.’”
The voice travelled through Lofty’s ear canal, down to her brain, and then exploded like a stick of dynamite. Her eyes shrank back into their sockets, her hooves rattled and shook against the cobblestone, and her tongue and mouth suddenly became far less moist. Ever so slowly, she turned towards one of the school garden’s bushes, and the white colt standing in front of it. “Y-You saw that?!”
“Every minute of it,” Blueblood said with a sneer. “Don’t get me wrong, though. I truly wish I hadn’t. I haven’t seen such a disgusting public display of affection in years.”
It was right then that Lofty regretted not pounding Blueblood’s head in like a watermelon the first moment she saw him. “Well, you’re just a…a…stupid idiot! Didn’t your mom ever hug you like that?”
“Of course she did! Why, I can remember…”
“Oh, just forget it!” Lofty snapped. “So, what do you want?”
“I think I have it all figured out,” said Blueblood.
Lofty cocked an eyebrow. “Figured what out?”
“Aunt Celestia wishes for me to make friends! That’s what all this was about! All I have to do is make a bunch of friends, show them to her, and she’ll make me normal again!”
Lofty’s face scrunched as her brain clicked into overtime. “Well…I guess that kinda makes sense.”
“And that’s where I need your help.” Blueblood reared up on his hind legs and placed both of his front hooves on Lofty’s shoulders. “I need to know how a common pony makes friends.”
Lofty sighed and pushed Blueblood’s hooves away. “It’s not that hard, really. All you have to do is talk to some ponies, ask them if they want to be friends, and they’ll say yes or no.”
Needless to say, Blueblood was more than a little dumbfounded by this. “B-But it cannot possibly be that simple! There must be more steps, a formal interview process, SOMETHING besides just asking if they want to do anything with you! If all you have you do is just approach a pony and offer friendship, I would have been swarming with friends already!”
Lofty rolled her eyes. Well, nopony likes a jerk, but that’s another talk. “There’s other things you have to do after that, like spend time with them and make sure they don’t hate you. Mom calls it mainta-maintanining relationships or something.”
Blueblood sighed. “It still sounds far too simple, but I’ll take your word for now.”
The two broke off as they heard an approaching wagon, along with the excited squeals and cheers of the various little ponies inside. “Well, I have to get going,” Lofty said. “Class is going to start soon.” And with that, she galloped away, leaving Blueblood alone with his thoughts yet again.
----------
The clanging of the school bell was barely audible over the pounding of hooves and squealing of foals. The young ponies, their bodies still pumped with sugary breakfasts and a desire not to sit on their rumps another moment more, all charged at the school playground at once. So fast was their escape that more than a few teachers were left dazed and surprised at the onslaught; it was a miracle that they were able to herd the foals to the proper grounds at all, let alone not lose one or two in the confusion.
Blueblood and Ribbon walked to the playground side-by-side, if only so they had anchor in this madness. By the time they finally stepped onto the soft grass, the rest of their schoolmates had begun to fan out and take their usual positions amongst the toys and playsets. “So, you wanna go meet up with everypony else? I heard Gusty got some of the new Daring-Do toys, so we were all going to play by the sandbox.”
Daring-Do? Those books are still around? “Sorry, but there’s something else I wanted to do.”
Ribbon frowned. “Oh. Well, I guess I can keep you company.”
Blueblood sighed, then quickly flashed a smile at the waiting Ribbon. “I’ll be fine by myself. You can go ahead and play with them if you want. I just wanted to take a look around.”
Ribbon wanted to say something, but her mind quickly returned to all the time she was wasting not playing with Daring-Do toys, and she quickly galloped to the sandbox to join the rest of her crew. Blueblood watched as she took her seat next to Gusty, who had just finished sculpting what was probably supposed to be some ancient temple and was eagerly readying the characters of their little play. A part of him wanted to join in, if only to maintain the friendship he had already built, but soon enough his ego reasserted itself, and he soon found himself scanning the entire playground for somepony to befriend.
The grass rustled underneath his hooves with every step he took. The ponies around him barely even noticed he existed, instead focusing far more on their own activities than the colt that was creepily scooping them out. Blueblood himself was eager to not advertise his presence at the moment; if he was going to take over the school this way, then he would need to make sure the friends he used were worthy of his presence.
He looked at a pair of chubby foals chewing on wild weeds. Too unsanitary. I must have my standards, after all.
Next came a trio of fillies jumping rope. I have enough fillies as it is. And besides, rope is a rather pitiful weapon in a battle.
He looked over towards the tree from yesterday, where some fillies and colts were grunting angrily and jumping fruitlessly at the ribbon. He raised an eye at this. I never did get around to asking them what the deal with that ribbon was. Perhaps later, I will…
“Hey! ‘Lie-On!’”
Blueblood froze in place. Even after only a day of knowing that voice, he could tell who it belonged to. And sure enough, Orange Peel emerged from the crowds around him, along with Snowball and a third, dusty-grey coated colt. Before Blueblood could regain control of his movements, the three had already surrounded him in the same manner as yesterday, only with an extra body to help tighten the noose. “So, how’s it going, ‘Lie-On?!’”
Blueblood scratched the side of his face with one hoof, if only to calm his nerves slightly. “Um…my name is Leon.”
“Oh, we know, ‘Lie-On,’” said Snowball. “Does it bug you to have such a stupid name?”
Wait…they were trying to mock me with ‘Lie-On?’ I’ve been called far worse things… Blueblood straightened his body out, raised his head high, and smiled. “It’s all right. I know my name is stupid.”
The three bullies stopped moving. In the few times they had pulled this on other foals, not a single one of them had gotten a response quite like that. Mostly, it ended with lots of crying, some mane pulling, and eventually their parents giving the parents of their victims money to make things stop. The new colt was especially flabbergasted, if his wide-open jaw was any indication. “Wh-What are you talking about?”
As the confusion continued, Blueblood began to realize the situation he was in. Here he was, surrounded by three of the toughest foals in his class. Only a few months ago, he would have been sending agents to speak to such toughs, hiring them on an extra muscle while he schemed and plotted his way to greater and more glorious heights. Now, however, he had a chance to prove himself at an even greater level than before. Now, he had the chance to turn old enemies into friends.
Orange Peel glanced back and forth between his two compatriots. “Guys, we gotta keep focused!”
Blueblood scratched the back of his neck uncertainly. Knowing how to do something was one thing, but actually doing it was an entirely different can of worms. “So, I was thinking, perhaps we got off on the wrong hoof yesterday. Maybe if we give it another chance, we can be, you know…friends?”
Now it was Orange Peel’s turn to make a twisted, confuzzled face. “Wait…you want to be friends?”
Blueblood quickly gave an affirmative nod. “That’s exactly it.”
Orange Peel took a few steps back, his eyes widening with terror. “You mean…the colt who hangs out with fillies and has a big brain wants to be friends with me?”
Small beads of perspiration began to leak down Blueblood’s face. Even a pony as naturally oblivious as he could sense that something was about to go horribly wrong here. Nonetheless, he still had a plan, and he had to stick to it. “Well…yes. I would be honored to consider all three of you my friends.”
By this point, the spectacle had begun to attract the attention of the other foals on the playground. Snowball felt his stomach give way slightly as he felt more and more eyes lock onto him and his friends. “Um…Orange? Smokey? Maybe we should just…”
He didn’t have a chance to say much else. Orange Peel, already incised at the direction his name-calling had gone in, broke into a gallop and slammed straight into Blueblood. The regal colt flew backwards a good ten feet before landing hard on his back, and before he could even figure out what had just transpired, his nemesis was already standing over him. “Now listen, you stupid little shrimp! I am not, and will never be, friends with a filly-loving idiot like you!”
Blueblood’s eyes quivered in terror, his heart pounding like a drum, as all blood slowly drained from his face. Wh-What did I do wrong? Where did I make a mistake? “I-I’m sorry about yesterday. Can we please…?”
“You ran into me!” Orange Peel’s eyes dilated slightly, his voice shaking with every passing moment. “Because of you, the teachers told my parents what happened! I’ve been grounded for two weeks because you were such a klutz that you tripped over your own hooves!”
The grey-coated colt, Smokey, took a few slow steps forward. “Hey, uh, Peel? M-Maybe we should lay off him?”
Snowball backpedaled slightly away from the mess. He could already hear the teachers beginning to approach. “Yeah, I think you made your point!”
Orange Peel looked back up at his terrified friends briefly, before returning his attention to Blueblood. “You…If I ever see you again, I’ll…”
“You’ll do what?”
Everypony’s eyes turned to the newest speaker. Even Blueblood, now on the verge of crying from his bruised ego, managed to look up enough to make out Lofty and Gusty standing next to him. Orange Peel and his cohorts very quickly began to back far, far away from the duo. “O-Oh, Gusty! I-I never thought you’d…”
Gusty’s eyes never moved, and in fact seemed to intensify to the point where they could have probably melted steel if she really, really wanted to. “Are you trying to hurt our friend here? I don’t like ponies that hurt my friends.”
Snowball quickly turned about and galloped away, with Smokey following close behind him. Orange Peel paused briefly, his eyes glancing back and forth for a possible course of action, but the sight of Miss Brightly approaching Blueblood made up his mind for him. With a quick hop, he disappeared into the crowd, already preparing for a much longer sentence in the back of his mind.
By the time his teacher had arrived, Blueblood had already pulled himself back onto his hooves. His eyes were still stinging, but nothing else seemed broken besides his pride. “I-I’m fine.”
Brightly let out a sigh of relief. “I would recommend you stay away from Orange Peel. He seems to have it out for you.” She half-closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I know you’re at a new school, but I’m afraid not everypony here is perfectly nice.”
“I…I understand,” Blueblood said, coughing slightly between words. “I guess he just didn’t want to be friends.”
“You can’t be friends with everypony, sadly,” Miss Brightly said. “Listen, if you need to go see the nurse, just let me know. I have to go find Orange Peel and give him a piece of my mind.”
And with that, Miss Brightly trotted away in search of her elusive misbehaving pupil. Once she was out of earshot, Gusty turned back to her two friends. “Good thing I came when I did, huh? I didn’t expect Orange Peel’s jerks to jump you like that.”
“Y-Yeah, thanks,” Blueblood said.
Lofty sighed and kicked at the ground. “Hey, Gusty? Do you mind if I talk to Leon alone for a minute? I’ll be back at the castle in a minute.”
Gusty paused for a moment, then nodded. “Sure. Just make it fast. Daring’s gotta find the Lost Scepter of Mystery, and we don’t have a lot of recess time left.”
Once Gusty had cantered far enough away, Lofty turned back to Blueblood. “I…I didn’t think you were gonna try to make friends with those guys.”
Blueblood sniffed back a few frustrated droplets. “I didn’t plan on this. It just…happened. I thought having friends like that would help elevate me a little.”
Lofty titled her head. “Trust me, ponies like Orange Peel are not the ones you should be around. That colt’s been picking fights since he started here.” Her head then tilted the opposite direction. “Maybe you should just hold off on making a whole bunch of friends right now.”
Blueblood’s eyes drifted slightly leftward, if only to break any contact he might have with Lofty’s own. “B-But…I…I need…”
He stopped in mid-thought. Indeed, that was the only way to keep his brain from simply exploding. The commoner was right; his attempts at making friends had failed miserably. He could try again, but there wasn’t enough time in the day for him to pull the same trick this recess. And in any case, if the schoolyard was anything like the court, being humiliated like that would make things far more troublesome than he liked. Something like this had only happened a few times before in his entire life, although only one case was his fault as far as he was concerned, and every time it would take weeks before the other nobles stopped snickering whenever he walked into the room or came close to an apple pie.
Nopony was going to be his friend now. Nopony wants to be friends with a weakling.
Lofty, having failed that mail-order psychic course her mom ordered her from an old Pluto comic, wasn’t able to read Blueblood’s mind, but she could still see his face scrunching and eyes watering. Realizing just what was about to happen, she quickly threw a hoof over Blueblood’s neck. A few germs would be worth it if it helped the Princess. “Come on, you can still play with us. You know about Daring-Do?” Blueblood nodded silently, not even being slightly bothered by Lofty’s leg’s position right now. “Well, we’re playing with Gusty’s new figures. You can join us. I’m sure they’ll let you use Ahuizotl. H-He has red lights in his eyes this time.”
Blueblood was silent for a few moments, then finally brought himself to crack a tiny smile. “Okay. I guess that will do.”
Lofty nodded, and the two started walking back to the box. Gusty was already over there, swinging a tiny plastic Daring-Do figure around, while Ribbon was holding one of the incidental characters in the series and Buttons was providing some kind of overly-dramatic narration for whatever adventure the toys were supposed to be on. All three fillies glanced up at Blueblood with sympathetic eyes, having no doubt witnessed his disgrace at Orange Peel’s hooves.
And yet, deep within his heart of hearts, he couldn’t help but feel a little happy. At least he wasn’t completely alone this time.
----------
The rest of the day went by pretty much uneventfully. During lunch, Blueblood and Ribbon simply ate together, while Lofty continued to watch them all from afar. The magic lesson was more or less the same as the previous day, complete with a lot of unlevitated tennis balls at the end of the day.
And then it was time for History, or rather, what constituted History in a Kindergarten class.
Miss Brightly pointed at the easel, on which were photos of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. “And so you can see, there are two Princesses that rule Equestria. Without them, we wouldn’t have the day or night. And without that, we wouldn’t have things like sunny days and full moons. Where would we be, then?”
Blueblood rolled his eyes. We also wouldn’t have a stable climate, seasons, and the ability to live, but I guess you shouldn’t load all that to a bunch of simple foals.
A green colt shot up a hoof. “Oh oh oh! I know, I know! We’d all be dead, right?!”
The entire class laughed at this latest bit of obvious information, and even Blueblood had to chuckle at the simplicity of it all. The colt blushed and sank down in his chair. “Well…yes, Olive, although I wouldn’t say it quite like that.” Another hoof, this time from Cherry, shot up. “Yes, Cherry?”
“The Hearth’s Warming Eve Pageant said that Unicorns used to raise the sun and moon,” the filly asked. “Why can’t they just do that again?”
Miss Brightly’s smile grew, if only to cover for her growing unease with this line of inquiry. “Well, it was a very difficult thing to do. It required every Unicorn to use all their power to keep the sun and moon in the right orbit, and they weren’t able to do a lot of the things we can do with magic because of that.” The smile grew another few inches; any larger, and it might have fallen off her face and scurried across the floor to escape. “But anyway, when you were very little fillies and colts, Princess Celestia was the only ruler we still had. It must have been very difficult for her to move both the sun and moon like that for a thousand years, but she did it anyway because she loves us.”
Orange Peel scoffed. “That’s not what dad told me.”
“Now, just last year, Princess Luna finally returned to Equestria. The two sisters have since made up for their fighting, and like all good sisters have become best friends.”
*B-R-R-R-RING!*
----------
The last recess found the group back where they had first met each other: standing under an oak tree, staring at a ribbon.
Blueblood’s eyes stared up at the target. The small bit of pink fabric was still tied around the same branch, its tassels flapping defiantly in the wind, all while the little group watched in awe. “So…what is the point of this?”
Buttons put a hoof to her mouth and coughed loudly, clearing her throat for a long-winded preschool tale. “A long, long time ago, there was a filly here that was really good at magic, but not much else. All of the other ponies used to tease her and call her names, and because of that, she had no friends. One day, she came to school with a big ribbon in her mane. But when she got picked on again, she got so angry that her magic untied the ribbon, floated it up to the tree branch, and then tied it in a knot.”
The other foals all went, “Ohhhhh!” Blueblood, on the other hoof, just went, “Oh.” A Magic Kindergarten student powerful enough to do all that? I would hate to run into a pony that strong, assuming they even existed to begin with.
“Apparently, nopony was ever able to get the knot untied,” Gusty added. “Whatever magic that Unicorn used has made even teachers cry out for mommy!”
“And it hasn’t changed at all,” said Ribbon. “The magic must be keeping it from getting torn up or wet!”
Or, one of the janitors took the original down and some stupid foals put another back up to confuse simple-minded ponies like you. “And what happened to this filly?”
Buttons opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by a sudden burst of exuberance from Gusty. “I can tell you that! Turns out that filly had a really tough big brother, and when he found out what was going on, he valiantly stormed into the school yard and beat those bullies to a pulp!” The filly leaned back slightly, and if Blueblood didn’t know any better he would have sworn she was swooning. “I wish I could have seen that! It sounds like the coolest thing ever, right?!”
The other foals, to Gusty’s eternal despair, failed to share in her excitement. “Um…if he really did break into the school, wouldn’t the teachers stop him?” asked Ribbon.
Gusty’s grin drooped down into a frown. “Well…ah…”
“And my mom would have said told me if something like that happened,” said Buttons. “After all, she went to school here, too.”
“ANYWAY!” Lofty said, and in the process called the group’s attention to herself, “it’s a game around the school to try and get the ribbon down off the branch. The teachers give anypony that can actually do it a free cupcake during lunch.” She fell back on her haunches, her teeth barred in frustration at the impossible task before her. “We’re not allowed to use scissors to cut it, and it’s tied so tight that nopony can pull it down just by grabbing it. And none of us can use magic right now, so we can’t just zap it down.”
The fillies all moaned in defeat, their tiny little brains unable to comprehend a solution to this dilemma. Blueblood, on the other hoof, grinned and clicked his hooves together in certain victory. So that’s the key to victory. Even if the whole friendship scheme has failed, I can still prove my superiority over the rest of these foals by pulling that ribbon down!
His eyes drifted over to the tree itself. It was a rather massive thing, and looked positively ancient when compared to much of the surrounding plant life. The branch the ribbon rested on, however, was far too thin for anypony to hang off of; no doubt that was why the school picked that one to hang the ribbon on. Even if he could climb it, there was no way he could crawl over to the ribbon’s resting spot.
He then eyed the rest of his teammates. Lofty was already trying to flutter her way up there, but her wings were far too small and weak to lift the rest of her body high enough. Ribbon and Buttons had tried climbing onto Gusty, but the weight was too much and all three had collapsed into a tangled knot of pony bits. That left him with one obvious solution:
There was no way he was going to get that ribbon down today.
By this point, the Unicorns were trying desperately to use their magic, only to accomplish nothing but showering the place like a fireworks display. Blueblood had to facehoof at the stupidity of it all, but a quick glare from Lofty dissuaded him from that action. “So…you’re really going to do this every day?”
“Until…one of us…gets that pudding!” Buttons gasped.
“Th-Then…we’re gonna…share it!” added Gusty.
Blueblood shrugged. “But what’s the point?! At our strength, it’s not possible!”
Lofty’s response was to point a hoof up at the branch. “A filly got it up there, didn’t she? And if the great Fluttershy can take down a Cockatrice with just a stare, a bunch of fillies can certainly-”
*B-R-R-R-R-RING!*
Fillies and colts alike moaned as the bell rang, signaling them back to class to finish the day. The ribbon would have to wait another day.
----------
The school bell rang out yet again, signaling an end to the day’s festivities. And like the day before, the fillies and foals broke into a stampede the minute the clanging began, all of them in a desperate attempt to get home. A few friends exchanged daily farewells, and a lot of foals boarded the school wagons and carts, but otherwise it was just a regular bunch of children being children.
Sky Bloom’s face was practically buried under her smile as she saw Blueblood approach. The colt, however, appeared to have lost the spring in his step. In fact, he looked more than a little sad. The servant’s smile quickly faded as a result. “Leon? Leon, what’s wrong?”
Blueblood shrugged. “It’s nothing.”
“Well, after how eager you were to get here, Princess Celestia thought something wonderful was going to happen.” She sighed. “It was those bullies from before, wasn’t it?”
The memory, still fresh in Blueblood’s brain, caused the colt’s face to visibly twist for a brief moment before returning to his normal frown. “It was horrible. I wanted to make friends so Princess Celestia would turn me back, so I asked them if they wanted to be friends with me. They could have just said no, but Orange Peel was so…”
“Honey, I think you got it all wrong,” Sky Bloom sighed. “What Princess Celestia wants isn’t just for you to make a lot of friends. How much you have of something isn’t important, especially when it comes to friendships.”
Blueblood’s heart almost stopped. All this time…he was wrong. The whole day was utterly wasted before it had even begun. And now, he was right back where he started: a stupid little colt, wandering through a dumb game his Aunt Celestia had thought up to amuse herself.
“L-Let’s just go home,” he muttered.
----------
The sight of the setting sun brought Celestia even less joy than before. Blueblood had barely eaten anything at dinner, and was insistent on being left alone. Even worse, her sister’s words still rang through her ears. Am I really playing favorites here? I-Is what I’m doing wrong? Should I just had Blueblood banished the minute I returned to power?
There was no answer waiting for her, both in the reality of Equestria and in the back of her mind. She sighed as nostalgia washed over her again…
----------
Princess Celestia galloped down the halls of her palace, her nephew clinging to her back like his life depended on it. All around the two, servants dashed for cover, lest they end up trampled beneath their ruler/employer’s gilded hooves. By the time she had reached the front foyer, nearly every noble within a stone’s throw of Canterlot Castle was already lined up for the momentous occasion.
Celestia paused at the top of the staircase, her eyes facing straight towards the massive double doors. The guards had already lowered the drawbridge, and lookouts were stationed at every conceivable post to keep a close vigil on the surrounding countryside. Blueblood quickly hopped down and stood next to his aunt. As much as he scanned the crowd, however, he could see no sign of a certain pair of ponies. “Aunt Celestia, have you seen mother and father?”
“I’m certain they’re here somewhere,” Celestia whispered back. “Just stay close to me for the time being. I don’t want you to get lost in the crowd.”
“And what are we doing here, anyway?” he whined.
Celestia smiled and winked at the colt. “With luck, adding another pony to our family here.”
Blueblood nodded and smiled, but wasn’t really feeling much better after hearing the news. In all his years, he had never quite been welcome amongst the rest of the royal foals. He never understood why, either. Aunt Celestia had always told him that he was a quick runner and bright thinker, and that anypony would be lucky to have him as a friend, and yet none of the other ponies bothered to give him the time of day. Occasionally, he could catch something from their parents about his own, but he never quite understood what they meant by calling them “Arrogant flankholes.”
Suddenly, the entire chamber became filled with the sound of blaring trumpets. Everypony snapped out of their gossip groups and stood at attention as the doors slowly opened. On the other side stood a pair of nobleponies, one a Unicorn mare and the other a Pegasus stallion. Both walked forward a few steps before bowing in unison.
Another Unicorn, this time looking like a dressed-up member of the servant pool, sidestepped past his masters and unfurled a scroll. “Princess Celestia of Equestria, we are pleased to announce the arrival of…” Blueblood scratched his ears, missing the names entirely in the confusion. “…The Prince and Princess of Roam.”
The nobles bowed in response to the previous bowing, and the royal couple gradually returned to their hooves. Celestia smiled as big a smile her current situation would allow. “It is always a pleasure to meet with members of the nobility from across Equestria. I trust everything in going well in Roam?”
The Princess nodded. She spoke in an accent that Blueblood had never heard before; it was difficult for him to make out anything she said. “Roam is standing strong as ever. Alas, it is not our city we must discuss.”
“As we said before, my wife had a filly just over three years ago,” said the Prince. “It was a wondrous occasion, to be sure.”
Celestia nodded along. “And yet, every time I request to meet this mysterious foal of yours, you claim to be too busy to show her to me. I have no plans to snatch your filly away; I just wish for a little time to know who she is.”
The two visiting royals chuckled nervously before stepping aside. Behind them, hidden beneath a silk cape decorated with smiley faces and miniature suns, was a small pink Unicorn filly. The Canterlot elite whispered amongst each other as the tiny pony, barely old enough to be out of diapers, was prodded forward by her parents. For once, even Celestia was left dumbfounded over how to make the child more at ease; even her gentle smile had no effect on the filly.
The Roaman Princess cleared her throat before announcing, in the loudest voice Blueblood had ever heard, “We are…pleased to announce Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”
Blueblood snickered briefly at the name, only to be quickly hushed up by a disapproving glare from his aunt. “She is adorable, but why were you keeping her a secret from me?”
“Well…you see, there’s something about Mi Amore Cadenza…” said the Prince. He leaned over to his daughter and whispered something in her ear. The filly’s face fell, her cheeks blushing as she did so, but she relented and undid the foal-friendly clasps on the front. Her cape soon rolled to the ground, and everypony gasped in shock and amazement at what they saw.
Beneath where the cape had covered were a pair of wings.
The Princess sighed, her eyes starting to water as the inevitable came. “Our daughter is an Alicorn, like Your Royal Highness. And that’s why we…decided it would be best if she…lived here in Canterlot.”
----------
*CLANG!*
Princess Celestia almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of the city’s clock tower. The bells continued another seven times before coming to a stop. She recognized the significance of the hour immediately; it was time for the changing of the guard from her usual daytime Pegasi and Unicorns, to a mix of Unicorns and Luna’s personal Night Guard. She could never understand what Luna saw in things like bats and spiders, but then again, her sister’s idea of a pet was a giant three-headed dog with a bad temperament. Luna was just full of mysteries that just begged to never be discovered, lest they drive a pony to madness.
Still, the changing meant that Shining Armor would soon be retiring for the night. Her Captain of the Guard had his quarters on the castle grounds, next to the regular barracks, and it would be easy for her to find him. There was only problem. Maybe Luna’s right. I should probably lay back, and…
“I wanted to make friends so Princess Celestia would turn me back, so I asked them if they wanted to be friends with me.”
Celestia was practically dumbstruck by the simplicity of it all. Issues about fairness can wait for now. I have a Captain to visit…
----------
The evening was drawing to a close, and so was Shining Armor’s shift. The posts were changed without incident, the Night Guard was dispatched to help safeguard Princess Luna, and the Captain of the Guard was finding himself more than a little exhausted. As for Blueblood, he was safely secured in his room for the time being, seemingly distraught over something that had happened earlier that day. In any case, he was more than ready to crash onto his bed and fall into a six-hour coma.
The first clue that a restful night’s sleep wasn’t in his future was when he saw the lights on inside his private residence, just a short walk away from the barracks the regular guards used. The second clue were Princess Celestia’s personal bodyguards standing in front of his door, eyeing him with a mixture of respect and confusion as to what they were doing here. And finally, there was that special moment where he pushed the door open, only to find Princess Celestia herself standing in his living room.
The Captain’s heart shrank as Celestia’s eyes locked onto his own. There was nothing to suggest any real hostility on her part, and her mouth gave only an inviting smile, but that did not fool Shining Armor for a moment. He had been a member of the Royal Guard for long enough that he knew the truth: when Princess Celestia made a house call, things were about to get very, very bad.
“Ah, Shining Armor!” The Princess called. If she was attempting to fake not noticing him arrive, she had already thrown that chance out the window when she had given him a dagger-filled stare. “I apologize for disturbing you at this late hour, but there is a matter of the upmost importance that we need to discuss.”
“O-Of course, Princess!”
Shining Armor quickly trotted up to the table and seated himself, while the guards behind him pushed the door closed. Celestia smiled, poured him a cup of tea, and leaned back slightly. “I take it you already know about Prince Blueblood’s…condition.”
Shining grunted, both out of frustration with Prince Blueblood’s mere existence and because Princess Celestia had brought him peach tea instead of the normal variety. “I’m afraid so. Why? Have we figured out what his sentence is?”
“Actually, that’s what I wish to discuss.” Celestia took a sip and floated her cup back down. Her sigh was so loud it could be heard over even the rattling of the saucer and cup coming into contact. “I have Prince Blueblood attending Magic Kindergarten, the same one that you and Twilight Sparkle attended when you were foals. I had hoped that his time there would go smoothly, but it seems he has already attracted some…unwelcome attention from a gang of rambunctious foals.”
“In other words, he’s got a bully.” Shining Armor’s hooves clacked against the floor as his mind racked over whether he hated bullies or Blueblood more. “Twiley- I mean…”
Celestia chuckled. “Twiley is fine, although I don’t think she would appreciate me calling her that.”
The tension lifted, if only slightly, and Shining Armor allowed himself a small smile. “If you wish, Your Highness. But as I was saying, Twiley used to get picked on a lot, too. I remember coming home from school to find her crying about some mean pony and how they were teasing her. I take it Blueblood gave you the same story?”
Celestia nodded, then took another sip. “Yes, I’m afraid so. I always knew that Blueblood had difficulty making friends, but this is the first time he’s had a real enemy.”
Shining Armor smirked from behind his teacup. If he thinks they’re bad, just wait until he gets banished forever…
“Which is why I want you to help him.”
The following spit take was certainly impressive. The tea managed to find a perfect trajectory from Shining Armor’s lips right to Princess Celestia’s face, splashing the Alicorn with a healthy puddle of liquid. The guards barely managed to hold back a riotous uproar of laughter as their Captain sank back on his haunches and their ruler wiped herself down with a nearby towel. Surprisingly, she still wore a smile. “I…take it you are surprised?”
Shining Armor coughed and gagged, trying desperately to sooth that unwelcome, painful feeling in the back of his throat. “P-Princess Celestia…what could I possibly do? Do you expect me to march a battalion to a preschool just to keep your nephew from being picked on?”
“Nothing of the sort, Captain.” Celestia set the towel aside and took another sip, pausing only to refill her cup. “Rather, I want you to include him in your training regimen.”
Shining Armor set both forehooves on the table and leaned inwards. “Wait…are you telling me you want your nephew to beat up these foals?”
Celestia shook her head. “Nothing of the sort, my dear Shining Armor. I abhor violence in any form, and I most certainly don’t want my family engaging in stupid and pointless battles. But I am not a naïve mare, and I know that sometimes, as much as we hate to admit it, a pony must be ready to stand for themselves. As you well know, there is more to being a member of the Royal Guard than being physically strong. You want you to instill those values into Blueblood. Perhaps if he had a soul like yours, we wouldn’t be in this position to begin with.”
Shining Armor was struck speechless. Not since he first learned that he was being promoted to Captain of the Guard was he as mystified as he was at this moment. The order came from the Princess, and there was no way he could justify ignoring such a command. But on the other hoof, he couldn’t quite abandon his loyalty to the plan, and such a scheme would require him to actually spend time with his dreaded nemesis.
Then again, she is giving me the foal on a silver platter.
Shining Armor rose and bowed, putting on as many formal airs as he could. “Princess, it is an honor to assist you with this. I promise you that Blueblood will get exactly what he deserves.” He paused as he saw Celestia raise an inquisitive eyebrow at this. “I mean, I promise not to treat him any differently from other recruits.”
Celestia nodded, her smile spreading farther and farther across her lips. “See that you don’t. He needs to understand that being related to me through some arbitrary ancient bloodline does not mean he can simply ride on my tail through life. Just remember, though. He may have the mind of a grown stallion, but when he was a foal, he wasn’t the most athletic colt in Canterlot. If he is seriously hurt in any way, and I find out it was because of you, we shall be having ourselves another lovely chat.”
Every muscle in Shining Armor’s body froze in an instant. His lips trembled, his eyes quivered, and his breathing became slow and labored as he stayed prone against the floor. Her work done, Celestia simply walked out of the small house, her guards following right behind her. By the time the door closed, Shining was barely able to regain control of his mental faculties.
This is going to be harder than I thought.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
-AND-
A Wholly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
“Why, yes. I am the most powerful pony anywhere I go. And now that I am High Overlord of the Canterlot Castle Royal Preschool, I demand that you peons…”
Blueblood’s dreams of domination came to a crashing end as a very loud hoof slammed against his door. The colt muttered a small curse before wrestling himself out from beneath his covers, pausing briefly only to look out his window. The sun was not even up yet.
He then turned his attention to the clock, his eyes widening with shock as he saw the time. Four in the morning? What kind of sick, twisted monstrosity would wake a pony at this time of day.
The pounding continued, echoing through the chamber like a sledgehammer pounding against solid stone, and Blueblood could ignore the noise no more. With a grumble and a groan, the foal threw himself off the bed and trotted down to the doorway, his hoof wrapping around the lowered handle before pulling it open. He eyed the hallway with tired eyes. “Yes, yes, what is it?”
His sleepiness washed away as he took in a good, long look at the pony standing before him. Even at this height, he could easily recognize the purple armor and blue mane of Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guard and the source of his dear cousin Cadance’s ruin. From this vantage point, however, he might as well have been staring down a tree-swinging ogre, ready and willing to devour his little pony flesh and use his bones as a toothpick.
The sheer horror on Blueblood’s face did not go unnoticed by Shining Armor, either. The Unicorn showed no outwardly signs of joy at his longtime nemesis’ current state of hind legs-wetting terror, but his subconscious was in the middle of setting up the world’s most impressive fiesta. “Princess Celestia has asked me to help you with some early morning training. Starting today, you’re joining the rest of my guards in morning drills.”
“M-Morning drills?” Blueblood’s lips shook as long-repressed memories of his former life came flashing back. His brief stint of military training had given him a love for order, but also left him hateful of the morning twilight, for that was when the morning practice would begin. Every day, he would be thrown out of bed, had a suit of armor slapped on his back, and then sent out to run in the rain or climb up a muddy hill, and all while the meanest pony in Equestria yelled insults that would make wallpaper burst into flames.
And now he was being asked to do it again, while a third of the age and under the tutelage of a pony he despised. All paths seemed to end in his tears.
The colt shook in his little horseshoes, searching desperately for any way out of this. “I…I appreciate my dear Aunt Celestia’s kind offer, Captain, but…as you can see, I am far too small for any uniform. I cannot be expected to train without some kind of protection, can I?”
Shining Armor allowed a very small smile to cross his lips before returning to this cold, business-like stare. “Exactly. That’s why I brought this.”
His horn lit up like a torch, followed by a small flash of light off to his side and out of Blueblood’s field of vision. A few seconds later, a foal-sized suit of golden armor and matching helmet floated into the chamber. Blueblood tried to step away, but Shining’s magic sent the uniform plunging onto the colt’s body. The armor drapped over his back like a cloak before the magic tied it to the underside of his barrel, while the colt’s head seemed to vanish in the enormous size and darkness of the helmet.
From within his metal confines, Blueblood blushed. “Wh-What is all this? How did you find one this small?” Then he realized something that was clearly off with all this. “This isn’t real armor, it’s a children’s costume!”
“The ‘My First Guard Duty Playset’ costume, to be exact,” Shining Armor said. “They were selling these things back when I was a colt, and they still make them. Just about everypony serving as a Royal Guard these days had one when they were a kid.”
Blueblood muttered something un-noblelike under his breath, which only delighted Shining Armor even more. “Now come on! We have marching to do!”
----------
Luna’s Night Court had long since completed its duties, and the Princess was now free to peruse the calm night air of Canterlot. Some nights, she would simply fly around the city, taking in the eerie calmness that her night provided with a sense of pride. Othertimes, she would dazzle the populace with spectacular meteor showers and auroras that would make even an artist cry with envy. And still other times, she just mulled about the castle and read some of the books she had missed out on during her banishment.
This night, however, she stopped on the balcony overlooking the grounds next to the barracks. She had always taken a vested interest in the Royal Guard, if only to ensure that Equestria was safe from all future attacks. This night, however, she noticed something peculiar.
Nestled amongst the rank and file ponies was a white colt, in a children’s costume, trying to do push-ups.
Luna grinned as she saw Shining Armor walk alongside the colt, shout something no doubt unflattering, and then trot off like nothing had happened. Shining Armor was living up to his part of the plan quite nicely. And now, to do mine…
----------
By the time the clock rang six times, Shining Armor’s entire squad was already assembled and ready in the courtyard. Shining Armor himself beamed with pride as his eyes scanned the crowd of Unicorns, Pegasi and Earth ponies standing before him, all of them ready and willing to lay down their very lives for the safety of Equestria.
And then there was Blueblood, still wearing the children’s costume and standing in attention along with the rest of the guards. Or rather, he was trying to stand at full attention, but a combination of his exhaustion from running in circles for over half an hour, doing dozens of pushups, and nearly shattering his entire central nervous system with the most evil calisthenics devised by ponykind had left the poor colt close to death-like exhaustion. A few of the surrounding guards, no doubt previous victims of his cruelty, snickered and laughed at the sight before them until Shining Armor stomped for attention.
The crowd of guards immediately responded with a stomp of their own. The force of a hundred hooves smashing the ground simultaneously was enough to send Blueblood hovering about six inches before crashing back to earth. If Shining Armor even noticed this, he appeared to pay it no heed. “Another good workout, ponies. Keep this up, and we’ll be ready for anything.”
The guardponies whinnied and reared up in response, giving the last bit of revelry they could afford before having to be stoic for the rest of the day. Blueblood just tried his best to dodge the swinging legs and crushing hooves. Once the crowd died down, Shining Armor puffed out his chest and continued. “Now, we have a few new ponies standing with us today. On behalf of the Princesses Celestia and Luna, we welcome the mares and stallions that now stand amongst the ranks of Equestria’s bravest ponies.”
Another chorus of cheers followed. Blueblood thought about squirming away, but decided against it; given the size of the crowd around him, he was more likely to end up a pony paste than get out of here in one piece. “I just want you to remember a few things before you begin your normal duties. Being a member of Canterlot’s Royal Guard is not simply a matter of standing next to doors and looking important. Your job is to protect not only the Princesses and the ruling elite, but to provide support and security for Equestria at large. A guardspony is more than a simple bodyguard. They are a representative of Canterlot Castle, and a symbol to ponies everywhere that they are being protected. It’s a great responsibility, and it’s not one you should take lightly.”
Shining Armor clicked his hooves together and spun right face before starting to pace around the courtyard. From his vantage point, Blueblood tried to watch the Captain’s movements, but at his height it was almost impossible to see through the guards around him. “I don’t want to scare any of you, but this is dangerous work. The Royal Guard has faced everything from dragons to cockatrices to evil gods. There are a lot of things out there that wouldn’t think twice before tearing into a pony. I can understand if you’re afraid; I certainly was when I started. I had a family that cared about me, a sister who practically worshipped the ground I walked on, and a Princess I had sworn to protect. During one of my first posts protecting Celestia herself, some teenage dragons decided to attack our procession. I knew we were in trouble. There’s no way anypony walks up to a dragon, stares it right in the face, and doesn’t feel like crying like a schoolfoal.”
Blueblood winced. I just know he was talking about me. Stupid Captain and his stupid…stupid…Captain stuff.
“But I stood my ground, and performed my duty,” Shining Armor finished. He came to a full stop directly in front of the crowd. His armor seemed to glisten in the rising sun, and more than a few guards found their jaws dropping in awe. Blueblood, however, just shrugged. “As you can see, I’m still alive, as are the Princess and the others that helped me that day. The point is, I stood my ground and did everything that was expected of me. And I expect no less from any one of you.”
He shrugged and shifted his breastplate. “Well, that’s all for this morning. If you already know your post, report on the double. Anypony who doesn’t have a scheduled posting today, please wait for me outside the barracks. I will be with you shortly.”
The guards hopped to attention, flashed a salute, and then galloped away. Most of them charged into the castle itself, no doubt to take over for the night crew. A handful of others made their way in the opposite direction, towards the castle’s cold, cramped barracks. Finally, the only ponies left in the courtyard were Shining Armor and a very frustrated Blueblood. “As for you, Junior Cadet, I’ll be taking back your armor for today. Be ready to come right back here tomorrow.”
Blueblood’s tiny jaw came close to plunging right into the earth and drilling all the way to the molten core. He barely even acknowledged Blueblood’s magic loosening his armor straps and removing the pieces. “To-Tomorrow? You mean I gotta keep doing this?!”
“Every day until Celestia says otherwise.” Shining Armor grinned, the sides of his mouth matching up perfectly with the curves of his helmet. “It’s part of a guardspony’s routine. You have to stay in top shape so you can buck a boulder out of the way of Celestia’s carriage if need be.”
“B-But…”
Shining Armor tapped his chin. “Of course, I could just tell her that you’re not willing to put in the effort. And given how she controls your very future at the moment, I’m certain she’ll love how you are disregarding just how much she wants to help you.”
Blueblood opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t find the right thing to say. He couldn’t quite argue with Shining Armor’s point, either. He really couldn’t afford to anger his all-powerful relative any more than he already had. With a moan, he bowed his head and slowly began to walk towards the kitchen for some breakfast.
He had just reached the side entrance when he heard the shout. “Blueblood!”
The colt sighed and turned around. Shining Armor was now standing just a few steps away from the pony, his smile now gone. He half-closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. “For what it’s worth, you did a pretty good job out there. I know I couldn’t have handled all that when I was a colt. Just stay strong, and you can make it through this.”
Blueblood said nothing in response; he simply pushed the door open and walked on through. Shining Armor, however, could swear he saw a small bit of spring back in his step.
----------
Blueblood’s march to the breakfast table was more akin to a lurch than a triumphant entrance. His brief joy at actually eating outside his room for once was no match for the pain in his joints. Now that the horror from before was finally over, the colt climbed into his seat.
A bowl of plain oatmeal had already been placed out for him, along with a simple metal spoon. Across from him was a pony, their form completely blocked by a floating and unfolded copy of the Manehatten Times. Blueblood hemmed and hawed at the bowl, as if debating whether or not a pony of his pedigree should eat something so simple, but hunger soon won that battle and he began scarfing the oats down.
He was about halfway through the meal when his curiosity about the other pony became too great. Blueblood slowly looked up from his bowl, his lips dripping with liquefied oats. “Excuse me, but do you have the comics?”
“Of course, nephew.”
Blueblood’s blood chilled as he recognized the source of that voice. Even the little driblets around his mouth seemed to freeze into little oat-cicles. The demonic speaker, sensing her prey was ripe and ready for harvesting, slowly folded the newspaper to her side before folding it up neatly and setting it on the table.
Sitting before Blueblood, in all her royal glory, was Princess Luna.
“A-A-Aunt Luna!” Blueblood said, his voice quavering between heart-stopping terror and bladder-emptying fear. “I…I thought you would be asleep by now!”
“When I decide to rest is not your concern, Blueblood,” Luna said. Her voice was devoid of any emotion, save perhaps a twinge of disgust for the creature before her.
“Th-Then what are you doing here?”
“I wished to be the one to tell you the news.” Luna’s frown transformed into a tiny sneer. “Princess Celestia has cordially offered me a chance to assist in your search for redemption, and I have accepted. You may consider me to be your mother figure during your sentence.”
M-Mother figure? “What kind of…I mean…?”
“And like any good parent, I made sure you had a nutritious breakfast.” Luna floated the newspaper back in front of herself. “So eat up, grow up nice and strong, and perhaps you won’t make the same mistake twice.”
Blueblood’s tongue flummoxed itself trying to figure out just what he was supposed to say to something like this. Finally, he just gave up and turned back to his oatmeal, slurping it down as quickly as possible in order to get away from this scene. The longer he stayed, the more likely Luna would turn him into a toad or something…
Then he started to feel rather funny. In fact, his entire mouth felt like it was…on…
“FIRE!”
Blueblood jumped up and ran from the table, his entire face beet red and drenched in sweat. He kept gasping and wheezing for air, water, ANYTHING that could cool the internal temperature of his mouth. He finally disappeared through the kitchen doors, knocking over pans and pots and various chefs in his wake.
From her vantage point, Luna looked at the bowl of oatmeal and smiled. It’s a good thing Celestia left behind that special hot sauce. Just a little manipulation was all it took to make the thing time-sensitive. I just wish I could see the look on his face when he sees his lunch…
----------
“Are you sure you’re all right?” asked Sky Bloom.
“I-I’m fine,” Blueblood wheezed. The poor colt could barely stand by this point, given the sheer amount of things that had just happened to him in the last short while, and for once he was actually glad to be going to school. “I just…I need to…”
Before he could say anything else, his body tripped to the left slightly. His saddlebags, still unfastened, fell off and popped open, sending his lunch sprawling on the floor. The colt could only groan at another fine disaster this morning had brought. Sky Bloom grimaced slightly at the meal on the floor, but otherwise said nothing. “Come on, I’ll get you another lunch. I don’t think the five-second rule applies in this castle.”
----------
Luna stared up at the three-tiered cake standing before her, its marvelous shapely curves and captivating pink frosting making her mouth water, if only just a little. Standing next to her was the castle’s resident pastry chef, her coat and apron stained with all manners of dough, frosting, and the occasional rainbow sprinkle. Her eyes shifted back and forth between the cake and the almighty Princess watching over it. “I-Is this satisfactory?”
Luna nodded. “Yes, of course. I am certain my sister will just love it.”
“Will love what?”
Both ponies yelped and spun around, and in the process came face-to-face with Princess Celestia herself. The Sun Princess’ eyes, however, soon began to naturally drift towards the sugary succubus standing right behind the two. “A-And what is this cake for?”
“Oh…no reason,” Luna stammered.
Celestia raised an eyebrow at this. “That is an awfully large cake to bake for no reason. I trust our chefs are not wasting their cut of the royal budget on treats that may not ever get eaten.” Once they turn their backs, you are mine…
Luna rolled her eyes as Celestia licked her lips. “Forgive me, sister, but was there a reason you came?”
Celestia finally snapped back to Equestria at Luna’s prodding. Even then, it took about a dozen or so shakes of the head to break the cake’s hold on her. “I really did have something we needed to discuss, but I would prefer to do it in private.” She turned to the still-cowering pastry chef. “And I don’t know why you baked this cake, but I’m certain it was with good reason. Just keep it in storage until I get back, and make sure there’s a sample waiting for me.” Her eyes and ears drooped. “I have to deal with the ERS again. Every last bit of sugar helps.”
----------
“Wow, what happened to you?” asked Ribbon.
Blueblood didn’t dare move his head from his desk, just in case the slightest movement was enough to snap his spine. Given the day he was having so far, something like that would be no surprise to him. “Oh…nothing. I just live with a bunch of crazy ponies.”
All around them, fillies and colts were slowly pouring into the classroom, their love for academia not yet beaten out of them by the grueling passing of the years. Orange Peel flashed a quick glare in Blueblood’s direction as he passed, but the deposed royal was far too exhausted to even worry about yet another shellacking at his newfound enemy’s hooves. Miss Brightly herself was standing outside, ushering in her youthful pupils for yet another day of edutainment.
Once she was sure they weren’t being watched, Ribbon leaned over into her saddlebags and pulled out a small card with her mouth. She then carefully laid it upon Blueblood’s table, making sure not to accidentally come into contact with any colt diseases he might be carrying. One couldn’t be too careful in this day and age, after all. “Lofty wanted me to give this to you. It’s for this Saturday.”
Blueblood slowly lifted his head, his eyes locking on the card. It was certainly a professional-looking thing, with little pictures of balloons and clowns and everything foal-friendly one could possibly think of stamped around every corner. Even one such as he could tell what this was. “Let me guess. Lofty’s having a birthday party?”
Ribbon nodded. “She said it was for somepony you know, named ‘Princess Sunlight.’ I never heard of her, but there are a lot of princesses.” She shrugged. “She didn’t say you could come, though.”
Blueblood sighed. “Perhaps it’s just as well.” I’ll be too busy getting tortured by the Royal Guard, anyway…
The bell rang, and Miss Brightly finally entered the classroom. “Good morning, class! I know you’re all excited to learn about bees, but we’ve had a last-minute addition to our plans for today! After your last break, we will all be making Royal Guard uniforms out of construction paper!”
Everypony cheered in glee, save for Blueblood. All he could do was slam his head right back on that desk and wish for the Pony of Death to take him away.
----------
With the grace of a thousand princesses, Celestia’s hooves gently touched down on the hard marble balcony. The guards quickly fired a salute before returning to their stoic ways; it took a direct order from Celestia before they were willing to leave their post and have lunch a bit early. Her lonesomeness confirmed, the Princess turned her attention to the distant countryside, waiting patiently for her sister to arrive.
She smiled as the warm wind caressed her mane. With a small yawn, the Princess inevitably drifted off into that warm pit of memories that lay in her mind…
----------
“Princess Celestia, we must protest. You’re filling our son’s head up with some really silly ideas!”
Princess Celestia’s chambers had seen their fair share of angry nobles, diplomats, advisors, and other assorted ponies over the millennia. This time, however, was different. Standing before her were Velvet Cushion and Scarlet Letter, Blueblood’s mother and father respectively. She had seen their kind before, and they were never fun to deal with. “Cushion, I did not mean to…”
Scartlet bowed slightly, even if Celestia could plainly tell the mocking meaning of the gesture. “Princess Celestia, I understand your position. We respect what you are trying to do for our son, and we love how close he is to you, but he is still our foal.”
“All I did was tell him that all ponies should be treated equally, regardless of regal rank,” Celestia said. She sat herself on the edge of her bed, as standing while facing these two made slapping her forehead in frustration a tad dangerous. “I fail to see how teaching a foal equality is a bad thing.”
Velvet Cushion sighed and leaned against the wall. “Princess Celestia, my husband and I are well versed in the history of Canterlot. We know ancient traditions you have apparently forgotten, and we wish for our son to appreciate them like we do. If he is taught that anypony from any rank deserves the same rights as one of our upper bringing…it might cause him to consort with ponies of low repute.”
“We cannot allow our son to become a delinquent!” Scarlet snapped. He quickly remembered who he was talking to, however, and soon backed off. “I…I apologize. It’s just…”
“Um…excuse me, Aunt Celestia?”
Everypony turned around to see Prince Blueblood and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, both of whom had puzzled looks on their faces. While it would be a miracle with Cadenza understood anything that was going on (given her still-developing grasp of the Equestrian Language), it was plain to see that Blueblood had heard everything. “What’s going on? Have I done something wrong?”
Nopony dared to answer that question…
----------
“Sister?”
Celestia snapped back with a start, taking in big gulps of air in her confusion. With a definite shrug, she slowly pulled herself back onto her hooves and turned around. Sure enough, Luna was now standing with her, her translucent mane waving and shimmering through the wind. Even in the sunlight, it failed to lose much of its wondrous properties. Celestia could feel another flashback coming on, but quickly pushed away any memories of a filly Luna ritualistically following every single motion she made. “Thank you so much for coming. I’m sorry to say this, but we must discuss something. This morning, Sky Bloom was helping Blueblood get ready when his saddlebags fell off. His lunch bag opened, and she saw the sandwich you made.”
Luna shrugged. “What of it? I made a very nutritious lunch, totally free of the pudding cups and cookies you would so gladly give him. Our ‘son’ must eat properly if he is to grow up with a strong body and mind.” Second time’s the charm.
Celestia sighed. “Luna, you made it with banana bread. Blueblood hates bananas. In fact, I’m not even sure if that bread was still good. It’s been sitting out there for the last four or five days.”
Again, Luna shrugged the question off. “I was attempting to meet the qualifications for a good parent, and a significant part of that is ensuring that your foal matures into a fine young mare or stallion. Even if he does not care for a fruit, he should still at least make the effort to try and eat one.”
“Like how you tried to make me eat tomatoes and cucumbers?” Celestia growled. Even now, with her taste buds fully restored, she could still feel the bitter, acidic aftertaste of the fruit wash over the back of her throat. Luna shrank back slightly, her ears flattening and wings pulling in even tighter. “And let’s not forget that little incident this morning with the hot sauce and oatmeal?”
Luna put a fetlock to her mouth and giggled slightly, setting off Celestia’s nerves even more. “That was little more than a small joke, sister.” Much like him. “I was merely attempting to make sure he was wide awake and ready for school. We cannot allow our little colt to go to class half-asleep, now can we?”
A few small plumes of smoke began to pop up along the frills of Celestia’s mane, along with a return of the twitches in her eyes and ears. All color drained from Luna’s face as the rage in Celestia’s demeanor grew. And then, just as quickly as it had begun to flare, the Princess’ temper cooled. Before long, she looked less angry than disappointed. “Luna, I have tried everything to prove the value of this to you, but you keep pushing me away. I know Blueblood has done some awful things, but this is an opportunity to set things right. Not just for him, but for all the other ponies I’ve let down.”
The calming of Celestia had a similar affect on Luna. Her confidence reestablished itself as she took a cautious step towards her sister. “Celestia, you have nothing to apologize about. What happened to Blueblood is his responsibility, not yours. And I have agreed to aid you in this charade of a family you are trying to form. But I cannot forgive him for what he has done.”
“Yes, his crimes are many, and he will still face punishment when this is finished. But I want to give him the chance to get back on the right track.” Celestia brushed a hoof through her sister’s mane, causing Luna to shiver slightly. “I forgave you, didn’t I? Shouldn’t Blueblood deserve the same chance?”
Luna’s response was to smack her sister’s leg away. Celestia recoiled in shock, rubbing her stinging fetlock with her other forehoof. “You fail to understand anything, sister! This is not about Nightmare Moon and my own crimes! What Blueblood tried to do is unforgiveable! Nopony should ever harm their family in such a way!”
“Wh-What do you mean?” Celestia asked.
“Blueblood tried to strike you, to foalnap you, and then do Mom-knows-what-else to you!” Luna’s eyes quivered with growing rage. “If he had his way, you would have just been a bargaining chip so he could force me to burn down Ponyville and slaughter everypony within! And you are forgiving him?”
Celestia shook her head and closed her eyes. “I am giving him the opportunity to earn forgiveness. As you have already shown, redemption is not just a matter of apologizing, but instead requires a pony to prove themselves day after day to deserve the chance. Thanks to you, nearly every noble in Equestria is cleaning up their ridiculous acts and are becoming productive members of society again. If Blueblood can…”
“I watched you bleed.”
Everything within Celestia stopped instantaneously. Only the very minimum level of breathing continued, if only to ensure that the Princess would still be alive by the end of all this. Wait…this is about…that?
Luna noticed her sister’s newly-acquired catatonia, and could feel pangs of it coming on herself. “I saw Discord almost kill you, remember? He tore out your wings, burned your flesh, skinned you, broke your legs, gouged out your eye. It was…I…I could never forget that. It’s been thousands of years since then, and I still cannot forget that moment.” She coughed back a few dry sobs.
Coherent thought finally managed to break through the walls of Celestia’s surprise and horror at having that…event mentioned. With great caution, she approached her younger sister and wrapped one wing around her. “Luna…”
Normally, wrapping her wing around a pony and saying their name had a tranquilizing effect. It certainly helped calm Twilight down when she was having one of her panic attacks. But this time, Luna failed to relax. “And what did I do after that? I allowed myself to be taken over by some primordial force and nearly killed you myself.”
“But I understand why it happened,” Celestia said. “You were jealous, and you made a terrible mistake. Sister, we aren’t like normal ponies, but we aren’t infallible either. We make mistakes, and we must learn from them like anypony else.”
The inevitable finally came, as Luna angrily pushed her sister’s wing off her back and stepped away. Celestia tried to move towards her, but froze as she saw the mad glint in her sister’s eyes. “Yes, I learned from my mistakes. I learned that you are the single most important pony in the world to me, and it was my fault you were mutilated by Discord, my fault that you had to suffer alone for a thousand years, and my fault we are in this mess to begin with! And I will be damned before I let another pony harm you in any way!”
Luna’s outburst sent Celestia reeling in shock. “I…I didn’t know…”
“I could forgive Blueblood’s other crimes, but I can NEVER allow a pony that would try to harm you in such a way to roam free!” Luna’s breathing became more erratic, her face more flushed, and her wings more rigid as her anger took hold. If Celestia didn’t know any better, her sister looked more like Nightmare Moon than herself. “I…I would rather see him hang than…”
“ENOUGH!”
The entire castle shook with the sound of Celestia’s own Royal Canterlot Voice. Windows shattered, tiles crumbled, walls cracked, and ponies panicked at the deafening tone. Ponies from as far as Hoofington could swear they heard their ruler’s shouts pierce the very heavens. As for Luna herself, she could feel every single piece of fur on her body stand on end like a cornered cat, and even her mane seemed to lose a few stars here and there. She stared at her sister while wearing the most dumbstruck expression possible.
It took Celestia a moment to calm herself down. “I-I apologize. I have not...reacted in such a way in a long time. But Luna, listen to yourself. Is this the way a princess is supposed to behave?”
Luna kicked at the ground sadly, hanging her head like a school filly being scolded by her mother. “No…No, it’s not.”
Celestia sighed and shook her head sadly. “Luna…I know Blueblood can be difficult. But he was not always this way, and I know he can be good again. Just please, trust me on this.”
Luna said nothing at first. She couldn’t quite find the right words to sum up the raging torrent of emotions working their way through her mind this very moment. Finally, she sighed and hung her head. “I…I will try.”
Celestia let out a gasp of relief and smiled, patting her sister on the head before starting down the stairs. “That’s all I wanted to hear. Now you must excuse me, but I have to calm the ERS down again. Seems giving those extensions to Twilight’s friends proves I’m unfit to rule and must be brought down for the financial future of Equestria.” She froze in mid-step and spun towards her sister, who shied away from her glare. “Tell me again who formed that lovely little branch of Equestria’s government.”
Luna gave a short, yet lively giggle. “Like you said, Celestia, we all make mistakes.”
Celestia smiled and laughed all the way down the stairway, her voice gradually disappearing in the darkness. Luna watched and waited until she was well out of earshot, then took her place on the balcony. She could feel fatigue welling up inside her, but that didn’t matter right now.
You are correct, Celestia. I should not wish death upon Blueblood.
Her lips curled into a cruel smile.
But that does not mean I am going to let him go easily. Like you said, a pony has to earn forgiveness. And I am going to make him WORK for it…
----------
Blueblood’s hooves clumsily worked their way around the scissors, leading him to once again curse his lack of magic. Every cut felt like he was trying to cut through solid steel, and every time he tried to turn the contraption around a curve, he couldn’t help but snag it on the desk or a tough knot in the paper. Whenever he glanced up to check on the rest of the class, he could see they were already miles ahead of where he was; a few even had their whole paper uniforms cut out and put on already. Granted, most were sloppily put together, with plenty of jagged angles, improper sizes, and other assorted gaffes marring their design, but they at least had them done.
Blueblood sighed as he looked down at his half-finished helmet. I suppose Arts and Crafts isn’t my strong suit, either. I have to find some way to make an impression on these…
“Alright, class! Eyes up!” Miss Brightly infectious voice echoed through the classroom, immediately calling everypony’s attention back to the very front. Even Blueblood had to head the instructor’s cry, even as he was continuing to curse the pony that invented scissors. “Now, our day today is almost over. Can anypony tell us what day of the week it is?”
Orange Peel’s hoof shot straight up, prompting a quick acknowledgment from Miss Brightly. “It’s Thursday, right?!”
Miss Brightly smiled and nodded. “Why yes, it is, Orange Peel. And do you know what tomorrow is?”
Another hoof, this time from Cherry, shot up. “Friday!”
“And we all know what Friday is, right?”
The entire class (save Blueblood) broke out in a single loud shout. “SHOW AND TELL DAY!”
“That’s exactly right!” said Miss Brightly. “Remember, you can bring anything from home or school to show the class, as long as it isn’t dangerous or illegal. And please, do be respectful to your fellow students. We don’t want a repeat of what happened to Magnolia, now do we?”
All the ponies quickly shook their heads negatively, with Blueblood doing it just to keep up with the crowd. Besides, he couldn’t help but feel that whatever had happened to Magnolia just might happen to him, and he certainly didn’t need any more horrible things to occur. His fate was terrible enough as it was.
Finally, the bell mercifully rang, and the class was dismissed. Blueblood was the last to leave, if only to make sure the card was safely in his saddlebags. I don’t get what Princess Celestia sees in that commoner, but I might as well stay on her good side. And besides, I could use a good party, even if it is only serving common carnival fare.
----------
Blueblood reached the front pathway almost at the same time as Lofty. The Pegasus’ eyes locked onto the colt with ever-increasing suspicion as he approached. “So what do you want this time? Did Ribbon give you the Princess’ invitation?”
“Yes, she did,” Blueblood said, a few gasps spacing his words. His muscles were still sore from his workout that morning, and he could already feel dread over tomorrow’s inevitable punishments as he continued walking alongside the filly. “Do you really think Princess Celestia will be able to show? She is the ruler of Equestria, after all.”
Lofty shrugged, a small frown on her face. “I hope so. Those couple of days were some of the funnest in my long, long life, even if it did end with you trying to slap me.” She growled at Blueblood, causing the colt’s ears and face to fall on reflex. “And I…guess you’re invited, too.”
Blueblood cocked an eyebrow. “You ‘guess?’”
“Well, it wasn’t my idea,” Lofty continued. “In fact, I didn’t want you there at all. But mom insisted that you come. She said you were probably a lonely little pony that needed friends.” She scoffed and turned away from Blueblood’s direction. “We all know the truth. And if you go there, I don’t want you to embarrass me, or my friends, or anypony else. ESPECIALLY if Princess Celestia comes.”
“Actually…it sounds like fun,” Blueblood chuckled. Lofty snapped her head back to him, half-expecting him to be joking. “Given everything else that’s been happening, I could use a little relaxation.”
Finally, the two reached the front gates. Sky Bloom was already standing at attention, while Lofty’s cart ride awaited her. The two said quick, non-friendly farewells, returned to their respective tickets home, and left the school grounds far behind.
----------
Celestia cocked an eye as Blueblood finished his executive summary of his day. “So…Show-And-Tell?”
Blueblood nodded. “Exactly. I have to find something outstanding to showcase to these foals tomorrow.”
“And by ‘these foals,’ I assume you mean your classmates?”
Blueblood felt a cold shudder run down the length of his spine as the venom in Celestia’s words hit home. Even he could tell he hadn’t quite phrased his words properly. “I mean…I just want them to see something outstanding.”
Celestia sighed and scratched her chin with one hoof. “Well…we can’t show anything that would be linked to the palace. I…do suppose we have some things in the castle basement, if you’re interested in digging through there.”
Blueblood vigorously nodded his head. “Yes, I’d love that.” His eyes then turned to his saddlebags. “By the way, Lofty wanted me to give you something.”
Celestia’s eyes widened with curiosity as Blueblood pulled out the small invitation. She gracefully levitated the card closer to her eyes, taking in the wonderful simplicity of its design like she was eyeing the most wonderful painting in existence. As she read the inside, she could feel something in her heart giving out, threatening to return her to the same longing she felt when she had first changed back.
“So…this is this Saturday?” she asked Blueblood.
“Y-Yes,” the colt answered. He scratched the back of his head with growing nervousness. “She also said I was invited as well, and…I do want to go, so…”
“I’m not so certain about that,” Celestia sighed. “You are still technically under arrest, and I do have so much to do these next few days. I…I don’t know if we can…” Her ears suddenly perked up. “Actually, I think you’d better go find what you were looking for. I’ll talk with Luna tonight and see if we can get something figured out.”
Blueblood was more than a little stunned at this sudden turn, but gradually accepted her orders and trotted off. Once he was gone, Celestia turned her attention to the one great challenge laying before her:
How would she convince Luna to curse her again?
----------
The Canterlot Castle Storage Basement was not just a single room, but rather an elaborate tunnel network running deep inside Canterlot Mountain. Heavy stone and strong pillars held up the earthen walls, while the various passageways were lit only by torches and the occasional lanterns. The section Blueblood needed, however, was fortunately close to the entance; otherwise, a colt like him could easily end up lost forever within the maze of passageways.
The small chamber was filled with metal and cardboard boxes, all safely protected from natural erosion by the magic Celestia wove through the very walls. Each was clearly labeled after a member of the royal family, many of them dead for centuries. To have personal objects entombed here, a pony needed to have had a close connection to Celestia, or had once been her favorite family member. Her students, on the other hoof, tended to have their own works and accomplishments stored in the study.
Obviously, Celestia has her priorities, Blueblood fumed.
His pouting session over, he trotted down to the far end of the chamber, were a simple cardboard box lay undisturbed on the floor. On it were the words, “Prince Blueblood,” written in simple black marker that had almost completely faded. With a mighty heave, Blueblood finally managed to pull the thing out far enough to pop it open. Fortunately, the tape had aged enough that it was easily removed, and soon enough the top was off and he was facing what lay inside.
Buried amongst his baby blanket, an old picture of himself with his parents, and a few other miscellaneous objects was a snow globe. Inside was a miniature representation of Canterlot Castle as it stood almost twenty years ago, along with little floating cutouts of Celestia. On its base was engraved, “Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
Needless to say, it was a simple thing. And yet, as he touched it, Blueblood couldn’t help but remember the circumstances that surrounded how he got it.
It was the same year he had earned his Cutie Mark. The same year he had realized his destiny was to be a Prince.
It was also the last year he and Princess Celestia were truly close.
Pushing aside the bad memories, Blueblood resealed and returned the box, then tossed the snow globe into one of his saddlebags and started back towards his room. If this doesn’t amaze them tomorrow, nothing will.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
-AND-
A Wholly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Luna knocked on Celestia’s door at about three o’clock, exactly as her sister had asked. The Nightly Court had already been dismissed, having actually accomplished a great deal for once, and the Night Mare had decided to bring along more than a few scrolls worth of new laws, treaties, and declarations for her sister to look over before signing. All that remained was seeing what her sister wanted this time, showing her the newest load of paperwork to sign, and then she could pull up a chair on the balcony, pour herself a glass of wine, and watch Blueblood suffer.
And that will be nothing compared to what comes next.
After a few more moments, the door finally opened, revealing a slightly sleepy but otherwise normal Princess Celestia. “Good morning, Luna. How was court?” Her eyes widened as she saw a stack of papers almost as tall as Luna herself floating behind the Night Mare. “My goodness, you’ve had a busy night. Do you even still need me anymore?”
“Very funny,” Luna scoffed. “First off, as long as the sun is down and the moon is up, it is still nighttime in Equestria, so please do not refer to this hour as ‘morning.’ And second, you invited me yourself, remember?”
Celestia nodded along and motioned Luna inside. The Moon Princess floated the stack of papers over to Celestia’s nightstand and gently set them down on the wooden surface, lest she drop them too hard like last time and send her hard work smashing down straight through to the Old Canterlot catacombs.
A smile crept across the Sun Princess’ face as she floated over the top of the forms, detailing plans to renovate the Baltimare sewer system. It was an important consideration, especially considering what happened to Celestia the last time the she was down there. It was the most lucrative year in the perfume industry’s history. “I thank you for coming. Now, I know you’ve been very busy lately, and we have a lot of work to do, but I was planning to take a few hours away from the palace this Saturday.”
Luna shrugged. “That does not sound too unreasonable. Pray tell, what is the occasion?”
Celestia pointed to the top of the desk, right next to where Luna had dropped off the latest round of paperwork. There, sitting underneath a copy of Flower Arranging for the Giftedly Ungifted, was a small invitation. The Night Mare’s eyes widened as she realized exactly who this invitation was from. “I see. Sister, I have no objection to you wishing to spend time with a friend, but would this not draw undue attention to your friendship with Miss Dream’s daughter?”
“Actually, that’s why I called you here.” Celestia took a step back, straightened her back, and looked Luna dead in the eyes. “I want you to use the Youth Restoration Spell on me again.”
Luna’s entire body flushed a pale white. The tiny electrical charges in her brain completely stopped, causing her to drool slightly. Her heart began to skip beats like a filly jumping rope, while her throat suddenly became very dry. Fortunately, such things were temporary as far as Luna was concerned, and after years of putting up with her sister’s antics, she was well versed in how to nurse herself out of a coma. “Y-You want me to do WHAT?!”
Celestia smiled sheepishly, or at least as sheepishly as a pony of her (relatively) gargantuan proportions could. “It’ll be for one afternoon, that’s all. I just go to the party as Sunlight, Lofty and I have some fun, and then I come back like nothing happened.”
“Celestia, have you lost your pony mind?!” Luna snapped. “What about your royal duties?”
“I will simply have to attend to my responsibilities earlier than usual,” said Celestia. She smiled and wrapped a foreleg around Luna’s neck. “It’ll be for just one day, little sister. Equestria survived my absence for several days last time. What harm would a few hours do?”
Luna’s eyes narrowed as, once again, Celestia’s attempts at reassuring her sister failed miserably. “The amount of time does not matter. What does matter is that you are trying to avoid responsibility yet again so you can act like a child. Meanwhile, I will be stuck here and cleaning up after your messes once again.”
Before Celestia could say anything else, Luna twisted her neck free of the obstructive leg and started trotting towards the door. Celestia’s eyes opened wide as she raised a desperate leg towards her departing sister. “Luna, please! I wasn’t going to…”
The door slammed shut on her last words, leaving Celestia alone in her bedroom. Sighing in defeat, she trotted over to the nearby window and flung it open. A cool autumn breeze struck her almost immediately, sending her mane flying back in a cascade of colors. The Princess took a deep breath and turned her attention to the gardens below…
----------
It was a fine winter afternoon in Canterlot, and Canterlot Castle was already buried under a nice layer of ice and snow. Princess Celestia herself was sequestered in her own bedroom, looking over new expansion plans for Equestria’s corn production. The land’s population had boomed yet again, and the only way she was going to find a way to produce more food was to find some way to either expand the workable farmland or start a war with their neighbors for more land. And as easy as it would be for her to march her army into some kingdom and vaporize her way to victory, she really did not wish to take any lives if she could avoid it. And besides, everything else on the planet was already leery about having a physical goddess on the throne; there was no need for her to add more fuel to the already raging fire.
From her open window, however, she could hear the rustling of tiny hooves in the gardens below. A smile crept across her face as she took in the wonderful sound of foals at play. Pushing away her assignments for the moment, Celestia rose from her pillow and trotted over to get a closer look.
Sure enough, a number of foals, all of them children of the various noble houses, were busying themselves making snow ponies and throwing snowballs at each other and, if they were feeling especially brave, the passing guards. Even with each filly and colt wearing no less than twelve layers of coats, sweaters, jackets, and snow boots, she could still make out who most of them most were.
So naturally, she easily picked out who they were picking on.
Buried beneath a light pink-and-blue jacket was Princess Mi Amore Cadenza (or “Cadance” as she was quickly beginning to prefer), staring at a small group of youths that had broken off from the rest of the players. Most of the aggressive ponies were, much like their parents, simple thugs masquerading as the upper crust of Equestrian society, but she could clearly make out who the leader was: Lemon Lime of the House of Frazzleberry.
Oh, not these foals again. Celestia right forehoof rubbed vigorously against her temples in a vain attempt to drive away the migraine demons nesting in her cranium. So far, she was proving unsuccessful. Her horn lit up like a torch briefly before the magic she commanded teleported her to the ground floor, leaving only a brilliant aura of golden light behind. Cloaking her presence was a simple matter as well, with barely the tiny glow of her horn to announce she was even there. The snow lifted and shaped itself around her, until she had an entire army of snowponies standing at her back. Soon, the streets of Canterlot would run white with snow…
Then she saw Blueblood gallop out of the shadows, no doubt coming from where his parents had been scolding him for skipping on his history lessons or some nonsense like that. It was rare that she got to spend any time with her nephew at all anymore, ever since her lovely chat with the oafs that sired him, but he was still allowed to play with the children of the other nobles.
In any case, Blueblood came to a stop right between Cadance and the others. Frazzleberry and her nephew began shouting something, but Celestia wasn’t quite able to pick up on everything. Her magic was still tied up holding her indestructible snow army together, and she didn’t have enough energy to spare to cast an eavesdropping spell.
Not that she ever did that, mind you. Such intrusive magic was only to be used when it was a matter of national security. It wasn’t her fault that there were a lot of matters of national security.
After a few moments of talking, Frazzleberry muttered something that would most likely land a bar of soap in his mouth and sulked off, followed by his cronies. Once they were gone, he turned to Cadance, the two said a few words, and then both walked back inside through the kitchen door.
Once the danger had passed, the Princess dropped her spells, revealing herself to the world once again as her snow army collapsed into piles of mush. She smiled as it seemed that, perhaps, things might finally work out with a member of her extended family.
After all, Blueblood was acting like quite the Prince…
----------
With a shake of the head, Celestia fought off yet another nostalgia assault. I really need to stop doing this. Focusing on the past won’t fix anything. I just need to…
Her ears flicked as a smile grew across her face. Wait…I think the past will help me right here…
----------
Shining Armor’s whistle blew out another shrill cry, signaling the end of yet another morning of exercise and healthy living for Canterlot’s benefit. And yet again, the exhausted Prince Blueblood was in attendance. The Captain’s forewarning that this would be a part of his daily routine was enough to hustle the colt to bed early, but all that accomplished was ensuring he was two steps away from death instead of one.
Fortunately, this morning brought no new inductions into the Royal Guard, so Shining Armor simply recited the same orders as the day before and the band was dispatched to their usual posts. The Captain stayed behind only long enough to undo the straps on Blueblood’s costume before turning to leave, only to stop when he heard Blueblood’s voice shout out from behind. “Hey, you forgot this thing!”
Grumbling, Shining Armor spun around and faced the colt. Lying at Blueblood’s hooves was the guard costume, its gold fabric surface frayed and worn from doing two days of more extensive work than it had been built for. “Aren’t you supposed to take this with you? That’s what you did yesterday, after all!”
Shining Armor slowly trotted up to the foal, a look of determination in his eyes. Blueblood shrank back as the gaze locked onto him like a disappointed father staring at his failure of a son. “Actually, today we’re trying something different. Each guardspony is expected to clean and maintain their armor and equipment, and since I am supposed to give you the whole Royal Guard experience, you need to start pulling your own weight.”
Blueblood cocked his head. “Maintain my… Shining Armor, this is just a stupid dress-up toy! I could buy another one just down the street!”
“And how do you plan to do that? Princess Celestia seized all your assets, remember?” He smiled and patted the colt on the head, drawing a very frustrated glare from Blueblood. “Now remember, the costume doesn’t hold well to magic washing, so you’ll have to clean it by hoof. Don’t use any bleach, either. I want your armor shining and glistening by the time I see you tomorrow.”
Blueblood’s lower lip quivered slightly as he stared at the bottom of his legs. His once pristine hooves were now covered with mud, dirt, and soot. “B-But…cleaning is…”
Shining Armor suddenly spun to his right, raised a hoof to the top of his eyes, and scanned the towers of Canterlot Castle. “Oh my, I think I can see Princess Luna up there. Perhaps I should tell her one of our recruits is refusing to perform his official duties. I just know a pony like her would love that. Wouldn’t you agree, Blueblood?”
The sound of a door slamming was enough to tell him which direction Blueblood had ran towards. His costume was missing as well, and the Captain had little doubt that when it came back, it would look absolutely wretched. One small laugh at his victim’s expense later, Shining Armor turned to leave.
He stopped as two Pegasi members of the Royal Guard approached him. Both ponies flashed their commanding officer a salute, which he quickly returned. “Sergeant Razorwing, Sergeant Flyover, anything I can help you with?”
The one of the left, Razorwing, loudly cleared his throat and rubbed his front fetlocks together. “Actually, sir, we…have a concern about Prince Blueblood.”
“If it’s about having him out here, I know.” Shining Armor let out a small sigh. “The stuff we do really isn’t meant for little ponies. But these orders come from Princess Celestia herself, and as much as I may dislike some of the orders she gives, I am still a member of her Royal Guard, and I am bound by whatever decisions she makes.” He looked about suspiciously, then whispered, “And she’s really scary when she gets mad.”
Flyover tugged at the neckline of his armor as worry spread across his brow. “Actually, a few of us were talking it over in the barracks last night, and…don’t you think you’re being a little rough on the kid?”
Shining’s eyes narrowed, causing his soldiers to sink even deeper into a panic. “May I remind you, sirs, that this ‘kid’ was but two weeks ago the most obnoxious, most vile, most downright sick Unicorn in all of Equestria? Didn’t he call your wife a ‘common turnip farmer,’ Razorwing? And how about you, Flyover? Do I have to remind of you what happened he caught you and Firelight together?”
The two guards looked at each other, nodded, then turned back to the Captain. “Yes, we know, and we were all glad when the Princess took up punishing him. But do you really expect a colt to do every single thing we do and not get hurt?”
“His body is still developing,” added Flyover. “For all we know, we might end up killing him ourselves.”
Shining Armor said nothing at first. He simply pushed his helmet back down and stared at an ant scurrying past his hooves. He could already imagine Blueblood trying to clean that stupid costume; knowing him, he would just fall into the wash bucket, tear the costume in half, and then beg forgiveness. He even already had another packed away, just in case.
They do make a good point, though. Maybe I should…
“Had we not been able to, however, she would have been trapped as a filly until she had aged back the natural way. Even worse, he could have seriously hurt her. She’s powerful, but if that horn hadn’t just hit the suit…”
The Captain’s nerves, as well as his resolve, tightened in an instant. He slowly turned his eyes back to his waiting guards. “Your concern is noted, but Princess Celestia’s orders are absolute. I am going to keep working that colt until he becomes a proper soldier. And I will NOT tolerate any of my guards trying to undermine her authority. Now, gentlecolts, I expect you to be back at your posts and protecting the castle by the time I get back from breakfast.”
He turned to leave, marched five steps, and then spun right back around. “We’re still on for poker night, right?” The stunned scowl on his loyal subordinates’ faces was enough to answer his question.
----------
Blueblood’s muscles may have been sore beyond belief, but his mind stayed as sharp as ever. His bathing finished, he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, his hind legs perched on a silver stool, and scrubbed his face with a towel. By the time he had finished drying his body and combed his coat, he was already beginning to formulate the first steps in another awesome plan.
That snow globe is a gift from Princess Celestia herself, a proof of my superiority over all these little ponies. All I have to do is rework the story a little, perhaps have my fake parents receive it for fighting off a dragon or some nonsense like that, and I can win the esteem of my peers by proxy! Then with them at my back, I can prove myself a changed colt to Aunt Celestia, and she’ll turn me back to normal! Prince Blueblood will be back for good.
A wicked grin spread across his lips, showing a few of his teeth in the process. Yes, this is all too perfect. Prince Blueblood, you are such a genius. Even your parents knew that…
----------
Blueblood stifled back a yawn as the passing sun shined itself upon his face, threatening to blind him if he didn’t move his caboose away from the window. The colt’s limbs slowly slid along the surface of his mattress, entangling themselves with the many, many layers of sheets, blankets, and other assorted coverings his mother had forced the servants to throw on last night. Even with it being colder than the highest peak in Equestria outside, he would rather freeze to death than continue baking like a potato.
After a great amount of difficulty, some grunting and groaning, and muttering a few choice words he had picked up from some of the guards at Canterlot Castle, he finally managed to pull himself out of his snuggly-wuggly restraints, tumble onto the wooden floor, roll around on his back six times, and only then pull himself back onto his hooves.
Letting out another yawn, Blueblood stumbled his way into the washroom, climbed on his wooden still, and reached out to start brushing his teeth. Just as his body began to twist, however, he noticed something that hadn’t been there a day before.
Sitting on his flank was a pair of four-pointed stars, each laid out on top of the other until they resembled a compass. His hooves instinctively scratched at the intrusive thing, but when they felt only discolored fur, his mouth flipped into a smile.
“I GOT MY CUTIE MARK!”
All sleepiness vanished from Blueblood’s mind as he galloped through the household, stomping past and over everypony in his path until he reached the dining room. His parents were already sitting at breakfast, slowly munching on buttered biscuits while pausing occasionally to sip on tea. They barely even acknowledged their son sending both doors flying open, outside of nonchalantly scolding him for running in the house.
“But mom! Dad!” Blueblood shouted. “I just got my Cutie Mark. Isn’t it the best one you’ve ever seen?”
The parents finally broke free of their morning ritual, if only just enough to turn their heads towards Blueblood to see the mark on his flank. Scarlet Letter nodded in appreciation as he sipped his tea. “Interesting. If I recall correctly, I saw that mark but a few days ago in one of the old history books.”
“Yes, indeed,” said Velvet Cushion. “That was the symbol of our very family, was it not? You should be proud, son. Your Cutie Mark traces your ancestry all the way back to the Pre-Classical Era.”
Blueblood’s smile grew. “Great! But…what does it mean, exactly?”
Scarlet shrugged. “Well, Cutie Marks are always a little metaphorical.”
Blueblood cocked his head. “Meta-four-call?”
“It means they don’t mean exactly what they show,” said Velvet. “That symbol, for example, was first used in the Unicorn Kingdom, before the Windigoes invaded. As far as we know, the pony who created it was a powerful pony within the Kingdom, and worked behind the throne to cement their power.”
“But what does it mean?” he whined.
“It means our study sessions have paid off,” said Scarlet. “After breakfast, I want you to meet me in the study. It’s time we began teaching you everything you need to know about being a Prince.”
Blueblood’s smile returned, his joy of spending time with his father easily trumping his hatred of studying. “And tonight, I can still show off to Aunt Celestia, right?”
Both parents looked at each other, sighed, then turned back to the colt. “We will see her in a few weeks time, for the Hearth’s Warming Eve celebration. Until then, however, it would probably be best to keep her from knowing.”
“What?!” The colt felt something terrible wash over him. “Why can’t she know?”
Scarlet leaned back in his chair, feeling more than a little content with himself. “You will see when you’re older, Blueblood.”
----------
To Blueblood’s amazement, he was not alone for breakfast this morning. To his utter befuddlement, he was not only not alone, but he had BOTH of his aunts in attendance. Celestia was chewing a bit of dried toast when the colt entered, while Luna was busying herself with some tea and the Manehatten Express. Both gave the colt an acknowledging nod before returning to their exquisitely complicated tasks.
Blueblood pulled himself onto his seat and grumbled at the simple plate of scrambled eggs sitting before him. Nonetheless, his body’s daily requirements overrode his desire for something that wasn’t fit for a peasant, and he soon began munching away on the runny, yellow pieces of bird embryos. He was halfway through his meager meal when Celestia finally spoke. “I had a nice chat with Luna last night, and it appears I won’t be able to attend Lofty’s party after all.”
From behind her newspaper, Luna’s eyes cocked slightly towards Celestia, as if to silently mock her very attempts to expunge Blueblood of such thoughts. “It would not be proper for a Princess to forsake her duties simply so she can show favoritism to one filly. Not to mention that she would have no way to get back here, nopony to pass off as a parent, and a pair of wings to hide.” She creased down the top of the paper just enough for Blueblood to catch a full glimpse of her hateful gaze. “And you, my dear nephew, are still under arrest. I would never allow you to leave the castle grounds without somepony to make sure you will not run off and become a common highwaypony.”
“Oh,” the colt sighed. “Oh well, it probably wouldn’t have been much anyway. Just a bunch of screaming foals running around and smashing piñatas or whatever it is the little ponies do.”
The room soon returned to the same quiet, virtually lifeless state as when Blueblood had entered. Having finished her toast, Celestia began levitating her teacup to her lips, all the while casting occasional glances towards Luna. Alright, Celestia. If you’re going to do this, then do this now, before you change your mind.
“Speaking of parties, have I ever told you what happened at Luna’s very first birthday party?”
The newspaper tore clean in two as Luna’s face twisted into the same one a condemned killer would wear before being marched to the gallows. Blueblood own look wasn’t that far behind. “What?”
“N-Now, Celly, surely there is no need to tell him such…silly stories!” Luna chuckled.
Celestia took another sip of honey, never once letting her guard drop. “It was thousands of years ago, shortly after the Three Tribes had united under Equestria’s flag. One night, Luna was flying by Old Canterlot and saw that Princess Platinum was having a huge celebration for her and Commander Hurricane’s daughter. So she went down and, like any good filly, landed right in the middle of the celebration and asked what was going on.”
Luna’s smiled nervously, even as she sank closer and closer to the floor. “P-Please, sister!”
If Celestia had noticed her sister’s growing desperation, she paid no visible heed to it. “Well, one of the guards was nice enough to tell little Luna all about birthday parties and how the aristocracy loved to throw big festivals for important ponies. And she thought…” Celestia pushed her eyes out until they were almost as cartoonishly large as an actual foal’s. “‘I’m an important pony. My most wonderful big sister lets me raise the moon by myself. I should have a birthday party!’”
Blueblood’s fear of his Aunt Luna barely managed to beat back his urge to laugh his flank off at her youthful naivety. Luna, on the other hoof, was currently planning her sister’s long, torturous demise. “I never thought like that! I just…just thought it would be fun to have a big party like that once in a while.”
“So then what happened?!” Blueblood asked excitedly.
Celestia giggled under her throat was completely free of mirth, then continued. “She flew right back to me and asked why she never had a birthday party. Now, it was getting late, and I was really tired, so I told her it was because I didn’t remember when her birthday was.” Which is, sadly, the truth. Stupid modern calendars. “So she cried and whined and bit my ears and pulled my tail and threw the most spectacular tantrum ever seen by pony eyes. Finally, my heart could take no more, and I decided to throw her the biggest party Equestria had ever known!”
“Th-That doesn’t sound too bad,” Blueblood said. Even if it was for stupid reasons.
Luna failed to show the same general disposition. Her breath began slow, labored, and punctuated by what looked to be multiple small panic attacks. “Please…don’t…continue…”
“But we were getting to where the cake fell right on top of you!” Celestia pouted. “The Canterlot bakers invented the shortcake just for you, and the least you can do to honor their sacrifice is let me tell our nephew how dear Woona got buried under her own desert and then flooded our home with mead.”
Luna’s face went blank, while a few sounds roughly resembling a screeching guinea pig worked their way from her vocal chords. Her face was so red she looked more like a sunburn victim than a millennia-old princess, while her eyes were dried out like raisins. Blueblood couldn’t help but laugh uproariously at the thought of his cruel, monstrous aunt drenched in…whatever this “mead” thing was.
After a few more inarticulate moans and growls, Luna let out a defeated sigh. “…You win. You always win. I will let you two go to this waste of precious time. But we shall see what horrors await you when you come back. I will have an entire castle to myself, dear sister, and I assure you that…”
Celestia giggled. “You’re invited too, little sister.”
“And when the scorpions…what?” Luna recoiled slightly, her eyes half-cocked in disbelief. “What is this? You made no mention of this last night.”
Celestia barely managed to fight out another outburst of laughter. “You didn’t really think I would leave my little sister all alone here, did you? You can be like a chaperone for the two of us. You walk Blueblood and I to the park, we have fun, you socialize with the other adults there, and then we come back a few hours later like nothing happened.”
Blueblood, sensing that there was no more dirt to dig up on Luna at this time, returned his attention to his breakfast, only to stop as a grandfather clock banged seven times. Sensing that the time of his victory was fast approaching, the colt scarfed down the rest of his meal in an undignified fashion before trotting off to brush his teeth. Once he was well out of range, the Night Mare snapped her face right towards Celestia. “You…I thought you learned something from last time, you…”
The words died in Luna’s throat as she saw her sister’s face. What had once been a mask of sheer triumph now looked like her sister was on her way to a funeral. “I’m sorry. I knew it was wrong before I did it, but…” She sighed. “You were right. I really have my priorities skewed, don’t I?”
Celestia slowly sank down in her seat, looking more humiliated than Luna had only moments before. The younger sister was quiet for a moment, then sighed and poured herself another cup of coffee. “Celestia, I am sorry I called you irresponsible earlier. I was just…so worried back then that I had lost you forever. And besides, it was a funny story, even if I lost what little good name I had after that.”
“Actually, Princess Platinum found it quite humorous.” Celestia perked her head up slightly. “In fact, she and her daughter made it a custom to dump shortcake onto the happy birthday filly or colt every year after that until Discord came. And besides, the old palace didn’t take that long to scrub out.” She pulled herself away from the table and rose onto all four legs. “In any case, I have two days of work to do in one, so I must be going. I shall see you tonight for sunset.”
Luna nodded and sipped her caffeine. “Very well. And tomorrow morning, I shall share the story of how you once went on a days-long cider binge. I am certain our nephew would enjoy learning how Ghastly Gorge was formed.”
Celestia chuckled and feigned blushing in embarrassment before trotting off to work. Well, after the other part of my morning routine, of course.
----------
Blueblood looked around the playground in confusion. His little gathering of friends were already there and accounted for, playing around in the sandbox with Gusty’s beloved dolls. All, that is, save for a certain feathered member of the posse. “Where’s Lofty? I thought she had recess the same time as us.”
“One of the students in her class did something really, really bad,” answered Ribbon. “So now she’s stuck in class all of recess. At least Miss Brightly isn’t mean like that.”
Perfect. Now to start lining up the pieces. “Actually, that’s all right. I have to ask you guys something without her here anyway. What kind of present should I get for her party tomorrow?”
Gusty looked up from her Daring-Do dolls, her face contorted in surprise by Blueblood’s perplexing declaration. “So wait, Lofty is actually inviting you?”
“Of course!” said Blueblood. “I mean, I am her friend…right?”
Buttons shrugged. “It didn’t look like she liked you when you met. And every single time she talked about you when you’re not around, she says you’re just a stupid old colt.” The darling would have continued from that point, had Gusty not given her a hoof-to-barrel reminder not to reveal everything Lofty said about Blueblood. It was already too late, in any case. Blueblood had heard everything he needed to hear.
“Yes, I know. We’ve had our disagreements in the past, but I want to make up for those.” He nodded his head towards Gusty’s toys. “What I need to know is, what is she interested in?”
Ribbon raised an eyebrow. “You mean, like in a present?”
Blueblood clapped his hooves together, spun about on his hind legs, and pointed an excited leg at his classmate. “Exactly! I need something that will amaze her, make her forget everything that’s happened.” He dropped his leg back to the ground. “So, what does she like?”
“Well…she likes Daring-Do,” said Buttons. “I guess you could get her one of the toys.”
No sooner had the words left the filly’s lips than Gusty was right back on her hooves, glowering through Blueblood with her left eye and Buttons with her right. “Hold it right there! In case you’re blind, I already have a bunch of Daring-Do toys! My folks even got me the Griffon’s Goblet Playset!”
Blueblood shrugged. “So?”
“Soooo, you can’t get the same toys one of your friends has!” Gusty shouted. “Especially when I just got a whole bunch of new ones. You have to wait for the paint to chip off mine first!”
“Um…why?” asked Ribbon.
Gusty’s jaw slacked in dumbfounded frustration. “B-Because! Just because! It’s, like, a law or something!”
Blueblood rolled his eyes at this. He had studied just about every law in Equestrian history, and so far he had found nothing on toys and their usage, outside of something forbidding winged unicorns from stealing royal regalia and using it like a costume. “Well, is there anything else?”
“She does like drawing,” added Buttons. “Mom and I got her some colored pencils and a few coloring books.”
“And I got her the Amazing Amethyst board game,” said Ribbon.
Blueblood began to say something, but stopped as the bell rang. In any case, he knew what to get Lofty for her birthday. And once that’s done, her silence will be assured.
----------
The hour was late, and Luna was still working on her scheme. All she had to do was finish this one letter, and Blueblood’s greatest nemesis would be back to finish what the Prince himself had started…
----------
As the class filed back in from lunch, Blueblood’s fetlocks were itching with excitement. He could already feel the love and adoration of his fellow inmates at this pre-correctional facility washing over him like chocolate rain. And once I have that, it’ll be only a matter of time before I’m back to normal.
“Alright, my little ponies!” Miss Brightly said as the last foal plopped themselves down in their seat. She levitated up a piece of chalk and began writing out the words “Show-And-Tell.” “Now, today is Show-And-Tell day, so I hope you all brought something wonderful to share with us. Just remember to be respectful this time. I don’t want to have to drag anypony over to the principal’s office this week. Isn’t that right, Snowball?”
The white cold gulped as a small chorus of laughter echoed through the classroom. “Well, now that we have an understanding, it’s time to get going!” A hat, surrounded by the same magic Miss Brightly always used, floated over to the teacher. “When I call your name, please come up to the front of the class and present your item to the class. I think we’ll start today with…”
A small scrap of paper floated out of the hat, stopping just in front of Brightly’s eyes. “Pier!”
A small grey colt pushed his chair back and hopped down, a ship-in-a-bottle tightly wrapped in one of his forehooves. Blueblood smiled and leaned back in his seat. Yes, this should be easy if that’s the kind of competition I have…
----------
“…And that’s why these scissors are awesome!” finished Orange Peel.
The class politely clapped their hooves together, if only to avoid a scolding from their teacher. Orange Peel, of course, failed to pick up on the sarcasm and just soaked up the applause like a victorious general. With a quick bow, he and his safety-handled scissors were back at his desk.
“Thank you for that…exquisite show,” said Miss Brightly. “And our next presenter will be…” The next name floated up to her eyes. “Ribbon!”
The blue filly jumped out of her chair, crying a high-pitched scream of joy before galloping up to the front. She had reached the presentation spot when she realized she had forgotten her item in her saddlebags, necessitating a run back, some rummaging, and finally her trotting back up like a prize fighter after a victorious bought. Held in her mouth was a large bit of poster paper, on which was drawn a surprisingly decent (for a five-year-old) crayon-generated picture of a small pony and three adults standing amongst what looked like bread.
Ribbon wrapped a fetlock over the picture and removed it from her lips. “This is a picture I drew of my family,” said Ribbon. She pointed her free hoof towards the little Unicorn pony and the two big Earth ponies. “This is me, and these are my mom and dad. They run a bakery in East Canterlot.” She circled the semi-oval brown circles. “That’s why we have lots and lots of bread. We also have pies, cakes, tarts, and other stuff.”
“Then why didn’t you bring any of those?!” shouted Orange Peel. A quick glare from Miss Brightly quickly shut the colt back up.
“That’s a wonderful picture, Ribbon,” said Miss Brightly, “but who is that other pony?”
“Oh, him?” Ribbon’s hoof moved over to the adult Unicorn. “He’s my uncle, and the only Unicorn in my whole family. He helps me study sometimes, even though mom and dad don’t like him. They say he did some bad things, but he doesn’t seem so mean to me.”
Blueblood huffed. It sounds like somepony looking for a prison sentence.
The class gave Ribbon a golf clap, while the teacher made a mental note to have somepony look into her student’s living situation first chance she got. The filly cantered back to her seat with a big smile on her face. “That was a lovely presentation, Ribbon. And now for our last presenter, Leon!”
Blueblood slowly rose from his chair, making sure to take just enough time to keep the required level of dignity for one of his station. He motioned his hooves as if to straighten an invisible bowtie, slicked his mane back, and only then hoisted the snow globe under his leg and hobbled over to the designated spot. With a grunt, he hoisted the object in place and lined up to face the classroom. “Fillies and gentlecolts, I present to you this snow globe. It belongs to my parents, who got it during Hearth’s Warming Eve a long time ago.”
He paused, waiting for the accolades. It took a few moments before he noticed the rest of the class was completely silent. In fact, the entire class appeared to be bored out of their little pony skulls. Miss Brightly started to step forward, both to usher Blueblood off the stage and to comfort him in case the cold reception hurt his feelings, but stopped as the colt began to speak again. “Did I mention it was given to them by Princess Celestia?”
Now everypony’s ears turned towards the presentation space. Cherry turned to Snowball and whispered something, Orange Peel just looked absolutely bewildered, and even Ribbon seemed entranced at the spherical novelty gift now. His audience enthralled, Blueblood moved in for the kill. He grabbed the globe with both hooves and gave it a good shake.
The little flakes swam across the watery interior, finally revealing their true nature in the process. Each image of Celestia was painted a different color, featuring every shade that appeared in a rainbow. Light bounced and reflected off the painted sides, creating a cascade of wondrous shapes and images that seemed to bounce off the walls. Even the tiny castle inside seemed to come into a life of its own as the prisms rebounded off its own surface, making it look larger and animated to the untrained pony’s eyes.
After about a minute, the last piece fell, and the show was over. Blueblood bowed, picked up his treasured globe, and trotted back to his desk. He reached his bags just as the bell rang out, signaling the last recess of the day.
Blueblood began to open the flaps on his saddlebags, but paused as a sinister plot came to his mind. I could use this to secure Buttons and Gusty’s loyalty, as well! No sense keeping something this important lying around…
----------
Buttons grinned like the silly little filly she was as she looked at the globe’s surface. “So this was really given to your parents by Princess Celestia?”
Blueblood smiled and nodded, sticking his nose upwards with pride. The snow globe was set down on the sidewalk for all five to see, admire, and worship. “I don’t know why she gave it to them, but they always said it was one of the best moments of their lives.”
“Oh, please,” Lofty moaned while rolling her eyes.
“My thoughts exactly.”
Everypony froze in terror as Orange Peel’s voice rang in their ears. Behind him were his usual cronies, Snowball and Smokey, and all three had their eyes on one thing: Blueblood’s snow globe. “Did you really think I’d believe that Princess Celestia gave a bunch of noponies something like that?”
Lofty growled and spread her wings. “None of us gave a flank what you stupid poopie-heads thought!”
“Um…Lofty?” whispered Ribbon. “Watch your language.”
Smokey snickered. “Hey, Orange. Why don’t we just take the thing to get checked out. You know, make sure it’s official and all that?”
Orange Peel smiled evilly. Their five targets sprang to their hooves and matched their cold-blooded glares, if only to make the ensuing beatdown less of an embarrassment on the schoolyard. “Why, yes, that’s a great plan. Now how about we…”
“Hold it right there!”
Everything froze in an instant as Miss Brightly walked up to the three bullies. All of them looked up at the teacher in false confusion. “W-Why, Miss Brightly!” said Snowball. “W-What’s going on?”
“Oh, I think you know,” said the teacher. “Now, unless you promise to leave these ponies alone, I will have no choice but to report what’s happened to your parents. And you know what happened the last time I had to do that, don’t you, Orange Peel?”
The orange colt came very close to emptying his bladder right there. He could already remember his father’s belt along his backside. “I-I understand! I’ll be…going then…” And with that, all three bolted off for the swings. Miss Brightly smiled, nodded to the group, and then trotted off to monitor the rest of the grounds.
“Well…at least that’s over,” said Ribbon.
Gusty humped and turned back to the globe. “Stupid bullies. I hate them so much.”
Lofty sat down on her haunches and turned to her nearby friend. “Why would they even bug us with you here? You creamed Orange Peel the last time he tried to take you.”
“It doesn’t matter why,” Blueblood said. He walked over to the nearby grass, his eyes locked on Orange Peel and his cohorts. The gaze was returned in kind, chilling Blueblood’s very soul. “The point is they won’t be bugging us today. We’re free to do whatever.”
Buttons trotted up next to him, her eyes locked on the flapping ribbon. “I think I figured out a way to finally get that thing down, but it will take all five of us.” Lofty and Ribbon joined the two, their faces twisted in determination. “If we can just get up high enough, one of us can climb on the branch and untie the knot. Gusty, what we need you to do is…”
It was right then that they realized one member of their group was missing. Everypony turned around to see Gusty still sitting next to the now-activated snow globe. Blueblood’s eyes bulged in absolute terror as the filly lifted the thing back up, holding it haphazardly by the spherical top. “What are you doing?”
Gusty sighed and rolled her eyes at Blueblood’s question. “I just want to take another look, that’s all.”
In an instant, Blueblood had galloped right next to the filly. He could already see his precious object’s weight shifting in Gusty’s hooves. “You’re not holding it right! You can’t…”
Before he could say anything else, the snow globe slipped from her hooves…
----------
Luna’s quill stroked the bottom of the page as a cruel smile crossed her lips. With this, my dear Blueblood, your fate is sealed.
----------
Everything on the playground came to a screeching halt at the sound of glass shattering. Every filly and colt, grown and small, slowly walked over to the sight of the scuffle. Orange Peel and his cohorts were savvy enough to start blending away into the crowd, just in case Miss Brightly or one of the other instructors decided to blame them for this mess. Lofty, Buttons and Ribbon could feel the urge to at least try and approach the two, but their own fears of being grounded and punished for something they were innocent of stayed their hooves. That left only a stunned Blueblood and a horrified Gusty standing in the center of the madness.
Blueblood’s jaw hung slack as tiny streams of tears threatened to burst forth and wash down his cheeks. His eyes scanned the wreckage, picking out the tiny flakes of confetti, the crushed remains of the castle, and the broken bits of the base. Gusty slowly walked around the mess and towards him, looking as guilty as a murderer standing over its victim. “I…I’m sorry. It was an accident.”
Blueblood didn’t hear her. He didn’t hear anything. All he could do was think about that globe…
She gave it to me. She…She said she loved me. It was…why…like this…that…you…
Deep within the recesses of Blueblood’s mind, something snapped into place. A rage he had not felt since leaping through a tower window coursed through his very bloodstream. In an instant, the old Blueblood was reborn, and his eyes soon left the wreckage to focus on the wrecker herself.
“I-I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to…it was…”
Blueblood front hooves slammed into the base of Gusty’s neckline and pushed down with full force. The filly, unprepared for such an attack, flew back on her rear legs and slammed hard to the ground, mere inches from the glass pile. Every muscle in her body erupted in pain upon impact. “What are you doing?!”
“YOU…YOU STUPID FOAL!” Blueblood’s voice carried no sense of innocence or guilt, only a growing madness. “That was the one thing I still had, and you took it from me! You are the worst pony I have ever known! I hate you! I hope you die!”
“Now that is quite enough,” said Miss Brightly. She pushed her way up through the crowd until she was standing directly over Blueblood and the downed Gusty. “I think it’s time the both of you took a trip to the…”
Before she could say anything else, Blueblood spat in Gusty’s face, turned about, and ran through the crowd. So great was his rage that he plowed through the other ponies with no difficulty, turned a corner like a trained track star, and was soon back inside the building. The other teachers quickly left in pursuit, leaving only Miss Brightly and a few others to keep a watch on things.
Sighing sadly, Brightly leaned over the shocked and injured filly. “Let’s get you to the nurse’s office. I think you’ve been hurt enough today.”
As she levitated Gusty off the ground and onto her back, the filly’s sobs only grew worse. The bravado and gutsiness she regularly displayed were instead replaced by wracked cries and absolute pain. “I-It was an accident! I-”
“It’s okay, honey,” said Miss Brightly. “We’ll get all this sorted out, don’t worry.”
Her student firmly attached to her back, Miss Brightly galloped towards the nurse’s office. In her haste, she failed to notice a certain pegasus watching her leave, a look of pure hatred on her face…
----------
For once, Blueblood’s early morning training finally paid off, and he was able to slip away from the chasing adults long enough to duck into the colt’s restroom, locking the door behind him. Nevertheless, he could still hear hooves scrapping along outside, and he knew it was only a matter of time before he was found and dragged back for an explanation. He only had a short time to prepare himself.
His eyes were still stinging from crying, but he still managed to catch a glimpse of some nearby sinks, all conveniently at an average colt’s eye level. Closing his eyelids to help fight off the pain, he trotted up to the porcelain tubs and turned on the faucets. His forehooves dived down to scoop up as much water as they could carry before splashing the liquid over his face. Gradually, the agony lessened, only to be replaced by feelings long since repressed.
He thought back to his parents. They were the only ponies who ever cared enough to teach me how to be a true prince. The only ones that thought I could surpass them in the games the court played. And was I not successful?
He thought back to Cadance. I tried to teach her how to be a proper princess, and what does she do? She marries a worthless commoner, with far too little noble blood to even qualify as a Baron, and then calls me a monster when I reveal her treachery to all?
He thought back to Shining Armor. And that excuse for a knight, a pony who cannot even utilize a proper Canterlot accent, is going to be called a prince just because he married somepony that’s far too good for him? Then it is my responsibility to make sure they both understand the price of betraying their station.
He thought back to the Grand Galloping Gala. Those ponies violated our most sacred of festivities, the very celebration of Equestria’s founding, and were given no punishment? If Celestia would allow such dissent, who could tell how far rebellion could spread? I tried to help her. I tried to have the village that harbored these fugitives destroyed, its ponies killed or imprisoned, as an example for everypony else. And she calls me a monster?
He thought back to Celestia and Luna. My Aunt, the pony I once trusted as a wise and just ruler, has allowed a traitor to stand alongside her and rule Equestria in her place. Princess Luna tried to destroy all life everywhere, and she is forgiven without so much as a second thought, while I have to wallow through this misery for that fiend’s amusement?! No! I shall make them all pay! I will expose their little game to the public. Let us see how the Princesses explain this away!
And finally, his thoughts returned to the snow globe and Gusty. I’m not sorry I hurt her! She destroyed something that belonged to me! I don’t care if it was just a stupid globe! I don’t care if the pony who gave it to me has proven herself undeserving of my affections! I will see her family pay! I will have her home burned, her parents sold into indentured servitude, and when she’s tossed into the orphanage, I’ll pay her keepers to trap her there forever! And the rest of my friends will be forced to follow, lest they suffer the same fate!
He snickered evilly. My enemies will all suffer! Prince Blueblood is the only Unicorn fit to rule Equestria, and under my hoof, this land shall return to the old ways! I will finally restore this land to the days of Unicornia! Mother and Father’s work shall be-
Then he opened his eyes.
Blueblood almost fell on his back when he saw the face staring back at him. When he had plotted before, he was always able to keep himself under control. Years of surviving a cabal of backstabbing, affection-hungry aristocrats were a testament to his ability to keep his head cool and plot his schemes. Were it not for that stupid filly and those Gala-destroying curs, he would have been able to keep his charade of civility even longer.
But now, all he saw was a colt staring back at him, teeth barred in rage, eyes dilated and bloodshot, mane unkempt and frazzled from his frustrations, and even a small froth building from the sides of his mouth. He struggled to return his emotions to some semblance of normalcy, but whatever control he once had began to erode against the unstable mindset of a foal and their incredibly low frustration point. His rage soon transformed into absolute terror, his eyes burning with tears. What’s wrong with me? I am Blueblood, Prince of Equestria and nephew of Princess Celestia! I trained myself to specifically avoid embarrassments like this! Why…Why isn’t it working? Why can’t I stop crying?!
Whatever fear his body conveyed was nothing compared to what was going on inside his mind. Already, thoughts were beginning to reshuffle, his vision becoming clearer and more precise with every passing moment, and he did not like what he was seeing. Something cold and unrelenting began to pound away at his consciousness, drilling past the rationalizations and cruel logic until it struck at Blueblood’s very core.
His thoughts returned to his parents. I was just a tool to them. They only wanted me to accomplish their life’s dream, not my own.
His thoughts returned to Cadance. She was a wonderful filly, and even if she did break every rule in the noble court, I should not have done things like I did.
His thoughts returned to Shining Armor. He is not so bad as a Captain, and even if he and Cadance make a poor match, perhaps what I did to him was too much.
His thoughts returned to the Grand Galloping Gala. That mare cared only about her romantic dreams, and I crushed them forever. I could have told her I was uninterested, and yet I used her just like I use everypony else around me. What happened was an accident, not an act of malice. Perhaps I was too hasty to consider their foolishness to be an act of insurrection.
His thoughts returned to Celestia and Luna. Luna has had many opportunities to destroy Equestria, and yet has not taken any of them. Perhaps she is not the foal-devouring monster legend makes her out to be. And perhaps Celestia was right the whole time about her. About everything, in fact.
And finally, his thoughts returned to the snow globe and Gusty. It was an accident. She was just trying to help me, and I pushed her away. She only wanted to be my friend, and I injured a small filly just because I was angry. That globe was precious, but it…it…wasn’t worth doing that.
Blueblood collapsed onto his haunches, all while the storm of emotions raging inside him began to erode whatever ego he had left. No…NO! Snap out of it! Remember, you are Prince Blueblood! You are above all these lowly peons, and unlike Celestia you remember your proper place in Equestria. Who cares if your aunts hate you? Who cares if your dear cousin wants to throw everything she was raised to be away so she can marry some military brat? You shouldn’t! You weren’t raise to feel! The only thing that concerns you is making sure the old ways are upheld! That’s why mom and dad wanted you! That’s why they dragged you away from Celestia and Cadance!
He let out a low squeal. That’s…why nopony…likes you.
In an instant, Blueblood was no more. The proud stallion he once was crumbled to dust against this new, most unwelcome feeling welling up inside him. His emotions broke free completely and horribly, reducing the colt to a sobbing, coughing, crying mess of a pony. All rational thought vanished, instead finding itself replaced by an unrelenting wave of crashing emotions. Indeed, Blueblood was so distraught he didn’t even notice the janitor and Miss Brightly unlock the door and walk inside the restroom.
The teacher knelt next to her student, a look of concern on her face. “Are you all right, Leon?” Blueblood made no verbal response, unless another wrack of sobs counted as such. “I know that snow globe meant a lot to you and your parents, but what you did was still wrong. You’ll still have to answer for it.”
Blueblood sniffed back the wracking pile of mucus trying to worm its way out his nose. “I…I…I didn’t mean to do it. I was just…”
“It’s okay,” Miss Brightly said. “When we’re angry, we do all sorts of stupid things. A part of growing up, though, is learning how to control how you feel. You can’t go around hurting ponies just because they did something wrong.”
“B-But…I…”
Miss Brightly sighed. “We don’t have to go right away. When you’ve calmed down, we can talk this over with the Principal. Just let it all out.”
Blueblood nodded, lowered his head into his hooves, and kept sobbing away. And through it all, his teacher never once left his side.
----------
The principal’s office was just as stiff and imposing as Blueblood had imagined. From the moment he stepped in there, he knew his time on Equestria was coming to an end. When he saw that Gusty was also there, a small bruise still on one of her legs, a cold shiver ran down his entire body. The glare coming from both her and the principal, a stoic stallion with a grayed mane and silvery coat, didn’t help matters.
Miss Brightly closed the door behind them and took a seat next to another Unicorn, no doubt Gusty’s teacher. The Principal cleared his throat, straightened his red necktie, and leaned back on his pillowy chair. “Leon, I trust you understand why we brought you here.”
Blueblood nodded his head. “Yes.”
The Principal turned to the filly in the room. “And Gusty, I take it you also understand what you did.”
Gusty pouted and turned away. “It was an accident.”
“What was that?”
The filly sighed. “Yes, I understand.”
The Principal and teachers nodded, with the principal adding a heavy sigh to the motion. He pushed himself back onto his hooves and approached the two foals, towering overhead like some long-lost titan. “Fortunately, neither one of you was seriously hurt, but that doesn’t excuse what happened. School is a place where ponies learn and expand their minds, not get into fights. Ponies like you should be friends, not enemies.”
He bent down next to Leon. “Now, I understand that the snow globe was very important to you, and I can understand you being angry. But it was an accident. You shouldn’t hurt somepony that was just trying to help you, right?”
Blueblood’s old mind wanted to yell something right back, probably involving shoving and an orifice, but something held his tongue. He couldn’t tell if it was that new thing worming its way through his heart, or just a side-effect of the spell trapping him in this body, but he couldn’t bring himself to rain death and destruction upon the stupid stallion lecturing him like a common kindergartner. “I-I’m sorry,” he said weakly.
The stallion then turned his attention to Gusty. The filly buckled as his eyes locked with hers, a new fear coursing its way through her gut. “And I understand you wanted to help, but you have to be more careful when handling something that belongs to somepony else. Would you like it if one of your friends broke something you cared about?”
Gusty slowly shook her head, even as a few tiny tears began to form in her eyes. “N-No.”
The principal smiled and pulled his head back. In an instant, his very demeanor became much less stern and far more graceful and, for lack of a better word, fatherly. “Now, I want you two to apologize to each other.”
The two foals turned away from the only male adult in the room and locked eyes with each other. Tiny beads of sweat began to course down his forehead and neck as he prepared for the inevitable. Any moment now, a horn would be embedded in his throat, or his liver would be torn out with her bare hooves. There was no telling with these common folk.
Gusty took a deep breath, lowered her head so her horn was pointing straight at his eyes, and…
“I’m sorry. I should have been more careful.”
Wh-What?
Blueblood reared back a few inches in amazement, his eyes widening to the size of saucer plates, while his tail began to frizz and stretch out in amazement. Every sense in his body tried to tell him this was some kind of magnificent scheme to humiliate him in front of the other ponies, or to let him drop his guard so the filly could position her knife just right. But as he regarded the filly more closely, he couldn’t find any of the telltale signs of treachery, and after surviving the Royal Court for much of his life, he was very adept at picking up on all such plots before they could get off the ground.
She was genuine.
She was forgiving him.
He had assaulted and yelled at her, and yet she was still taking blame for breaking his snow globe.
“I…I…” He bit his lip as something he hadn’t felt in decades began to seep its way to the forefront. “I…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hit you or called you names. I really am a bad pony.”
“Now, I don’t want to hear any of that,” said Miss Brightly. “You did something wrong, but that doesn’t make you a bad pony. You just have to remember that it’s never right to hurt another pony, even if they did something wrong themselves.”
Gusty took a small step forward. “I’m not really hurt. All that crying was just to keep the rest of the foals from being left out, honest.” She blushed and shied away. “L-Look, I know we’re both in trouble and all, and you were kinda mean back there, and you pushed me and…anyway, you still wanna be friends?”
As if to seal the deal, Gusty’s hoof shot out and hung in the air. Blueblood stared at the outstretched limb with more than his fair share of skepticism. After all, less than an hour ago, he had taken the same pony and shoved her down on a slab of concrete. Had his aim been just a little off, she would have landed right on a pile of glass shards.
In the Royal Court, such an action on Prince Blueblood’s part would have brought unimaginable consequences. His home would have been torched, his possessions divided up amongst the other noble houses, and his very name drowned in the mud until nopony could even remember who “Prince What’s-His-Blood” was. He, a grown pony, had struck a filly.
And she was asking him to be friends.
Blueblood’s hoof laboriously lifted itself into the air, pausing for a brief moment before taking hold of Gusty’s own. The tense atmosphere gradually melted away, fading into the ether until a general sense of relaxation took hold. The Principal smiled and nodded towards the two. “Well, I can see you two have learned your lesson. I’m still going to have to talk to your parents, of course, but I’ll make sure the letter tells them to go easy on you.”
“M-My parents?” Gusty gulped down an entire mouthful of oxygen as her pupils dilated in terror. “Couldn’t we just call it even right now? I mean, there’s no reason to get mom and dad involved. I’m sure they can just, you know, hear about it, let’s say, thirty years from now?!”
The non-Miss Brightly teacher shook her head. “No dear, that’s not how it works. We’ll discuss an appropriate punishment when we get home.”
“When you get…” Blueblood snapped around to Gusty, his surprise managing to break through his self-pity and guilt. “You mean your mother’s a teacher here?”
Gusty facehoofed herself and shook her head sadly. “Don’t remind me.”
“And I’ll see to it Leon’s mother gets her notice,” added Miss Brightly. “I’m sure once she knows everything that happened, she’ll…”
“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!”
Everything in the office froze at the sound of the high-pitched squeal coming from the door. There, standing like an avenging superhero, was Lofty. The Principal himself practically spat something out at the sudden shock. “Can I help you, miss?”
“No, but I’m here to help you!” The filly cantered into the office, her tiny wings extended. She pushed aside Blueblood and, after a bit of difficulty, climbed onto one of the nearby chairs. “I saw everything that happened! It was all Leon’s fault!”
The three educators looked amongst each other in confusion. “Wait…what do you mean?” asked Gusty’s mother.
“Leon’s the one that started the fight, not Gusty!” added Lofty. “And there’s more than that! Before he even set foot on this school, he wasn’t…”
Blueblood sighed and hung his head down. He could already feel a prison cell waiting for him, and right now, he didn’t care.
“Stop right there, Lofty!”
The yellow pegasus halted mere seconds from revealing Blueblood’s secret. Confused, she slowly lowered her gaze towards Gusty. “Why are you stopping me? I’m trying to defend you here!”
“And I don’t need any help!” said Gusty. “We already talked it over. I got in trouble, Leon got in trouble, and we’ll be fine! I dropped his snow globe, remember? You don’t need to come charging in here shouting up threats and trying to act tough!”
Lofty’s heart sank in her chest. Her wings folded back against her body as a small whimper emerged from her lips. “I…I was just…”
“I can understand wanting to help, but we have the situation well in hoof,” said Miss Brightly. “Your friends have already forgiven each other, and promised they won’t do anything like that again.”
“B-But…”
“And furthermore,” added the Principal, “you know it’s wrong to break into a room uninvited and interrupt what somepony else is doing, right?”
Lofty whimpered out a few sobs and sank into the chair. I-I’m gonna be grounded. Right before my birthday! Wh-Why did that stupid Blueblood have to…
“Um…I don’t think Lofty meant anything bad.”
Everypony’s eyes turned to Blueblood. The colt’s legs were wobbling from all the attention, as well as his sheer disbelief with what he was doing, but he managed to close his eyes and continue on ahead. “Gusty was her friend before I even got here. She wanted to make sure her friend was all right, after all. When I got hurt on my first day, she gave up recess so she could make sure I was okay. That’s just the kind of pony she is.”
The three adults stared at each other, confused that such a small pony had such a decent sense of empathy, and especially after everything that had occurred. Gusty, meanwhile, found herself fighting back to urge to roll her eyes at her new friend’s eggheadedness. Lofty’s own emotions simply shifted back and forth like a taffy puller, never managing to settle on whether she should be surprised that he wasn’t joining in her denouncement, or angry that he still existed and had contributed to her future grounding.
“Look, we’ll overlook Lofty’s misbehavior this one time,” said the Principal. The lone Pegasus’ ears and head perked up in surprise. “Now, all of you need to get back to class. We still have a lot of educating to do and only a short time to do it. And I expect to see the letters signed and turned in to your teachers on Monday. Am I understood?” The foals nodded. “Good. Miss Brightly, Mrs. Hurricane, please take these ponies back to class.”
The teachers nodded, rounded up their students (plus the one from Flight Kindergarten), and departed. Blueblood tagged behind the rest, his head filled with traitorous thoughts. I actually pulled it off. I managed to salvage my situation and keep Lofty and Gusty as allies. And now that Lofty is indebted to me, she will be far less willing to reveal my secret. I just need to keep the act up, and soon I’ll be right to normal.
He blinked away a frustrated twinge. That’s the only reason you did it, remember. The only…reason…
----------
Luna awoke just as the sun began to drop over the horizon. After letting out the traditional royal yawn, performing the traditional royal stretches, and wiping the traditional royal eye crust, her attention returned to the rest of the day’s scheduled activities. She still had a nephew to torture, after all.
The letter still sat on her desk, rolled up and sealed for quick and easy delivery. All Luna had to do was will the thing to where her new ally lived, and she would soon have Blueblood put back in his place for good. And then she could…
Her scheming came to a halt as she heard a loud pounding on her door. “Luna? Are you awake?”
If I wasn’t, you would have just fixed that problem. Luna rolled her eyes and telekinetically pulled the door open, revealing her sister in mid-yawn. “G-Good evening, Luna. I take it you slept well?”
“Far better than you,” Luna said between giggles. “I take it everything is finished for tomorrow?”
Celestia yawned again, smacking her lips a few times. “Yes, everything. Thanks to this party, we have an entirely new property tax system, we have increased the budget for medical research, and we will have enough wool to make sure everpony has a scarf this winter. Also, I have developed a deep hatred for the pony that invented the quill, and plans are already in motion to travel back in time and remove them and their infernal device from existence.”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Wait…was it not you that invented the quill?”
Celestia gave an obviously fake gasp as her eyes popped out. “You’re right. Well, I suppose you shall be an only child, then.”
The room was silent for but a moment, before the two erupted once again into a chorus of laughter. Once the glee had simmered down to a mere chuckle, Celestia cleared her throat and continued. “Still, I’m really glad you changed your mind. I’ve been going through some disguises as well, and I think I found the perfect thing. All we need are some glasses and…”
“Actually, I have a stipulation to make,” said Luna. Celestia raised a worried brow. “Rather than disguise myself, I shall attend this party as I truly am: Princess Luna of Equestria, Steward of the Moon and Co-Ruler of our fair principality.”
Celestia shook her head vigorously. “Absolutely out of the question. How can we possibly spin you being there?”
“Like you said, the party would only be for a couple of hours,” said Luna. She pointed out her window towards the streets below, her hoof forming an invisible path towards the park. “Since Princess Sunlight is ostensibly my niece, it is our responsibility to look out for her. And since Princess Celestia will be so busy ruling her country, it shall be my duty to make sure our visiting niece gets there and back safely. We will then say that we picked up Blueblood on the way to the party, as his parents were sick and couldn’t take him. And with that, we shall all partake in fun together.”
“Little sister, there are so many ways that can go wrong,” said Celestia.
“It’s either that, or we don’t go,” Luna said curtly. “Now, if you shall excuse me, I have a great deal of work to do.” And with that, she cantered off to manage her nation yet again, leaving a stunned and bewildered Celestia.
D-Did Luna just…pull something on me? I really need to stop teaching her that.
----------
Blueblood struggled to sleep, but rest eluded him. Whenever he closed his eyes, he couldn’t help but think back to how everything went wrong.
Gusty had apparently forgiven him, and Buttons and Ribbon seemed to follow suit, but he could still feel something was very wrong. It just seemed off with how easily they forgave somepony that assaulted and spat on their friend. He had barely managed to convince Lofty to let him go, and even then, he could tell she was getting ever closer to revealing his secret.
And yet, the one thing he was worried about was how much this was worrying him. Months ago, he wouldn’t have given a care to losing any friends. Years ago, he wouldn’t have cared that he had assaulted an innocent pony. But now?
His reflections paused as a hoof rattled against his door. A few seconds later, a golden light enveloped the entire wooden entrance and pushed it open, revealing Princess Celestia. She slowly entered the room, doing her best to remain dour. “Blueblood, Sky Bloom told me about the snow globe. I-I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” he muttered, his face buried in his pillow.
Celestia took a few more steps forward. “I know things have been rough these last few days, and…”
“It’s fine,” he said. “I’ll make it through. I always have and always will.”
“I see,” Celestia said. She hung her head and turned to leave. “I shall see you in the morning, then.”
“Wait.”
Princess Celestia froze just a step away from the door. For the first time, Blueblood turned his face towards his aunt, and she could see the wear this day had taken on him. “Aunt Celestia, can you be honest with me? Am I…just a bad pony.”
Celestia was quiet at first, her mind shuffling through the right thing to say. Finally, she managed to find something that might, at least, be of a little comfort. “I don’t believe there’s such a thing as an inherently bad pony. You just made a lot of bad decisions, that’s all. But as bad as things got between us, I never really hated you. I was disappointed, upset even, but I never hated you.” And with that, she walked out in the hall and closed the door.
Once again, Blueblood was alone in the world.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
-AND-
A Wholly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Shining Armor knocked on Blueblood’s door yet again, a dark grimace spreading across his face. Five times already had he pounded on the wooden barrier, and each time there was no response from the other side. Needless to say, the Captain’s patience was dissolving more and more with every passing moment. “Blueblood! Come out here and present your arms for inspection!”
Still nothing.
Grumbling, the stallion pushed and pulled on the door, but it was apparently locked. Muttering a few terminable phrases under his breath, Shining Armor’s magic locked onto and lifted his master key from underneath his armor plating. The double-pronged shaft of metal slid into the lock with a perfect click, bypassing the physical and magical mechanisms keeping the door tightly closed, and turned to the right until he heard a loud click.
Now free from its chains, the door pushed open easily under the weight of Shining Armor’s well-muscled foreleg. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness that covered every inch of the room, he was quick to discover why Blueblood had been failing to answer his inquiries.
He wasn’t in the room.
Shining’s eyes widened in panic as he galloped up to Blueblood’s bed. Sure enough, the colt was missing, as were most of his bedsheets. That was when the chill of the night air seeped into the room itself, chilling the Captain to his very bone. As his mane rustled in the breeze, realization slowly crept into his mind.
He slowly moved his attention upwards, towards the one window in Blueblood’s prison. Sure enough, he had somehow managed to force the window open, tie his bedsheets into a rope, and then climbed down. Even after reducing the number of covers allotted after Princess Celestia apparently did the same thing, he had managed to slip out unnoticed.
Cursing to himself, Shining Armor leaned his head out the window…and his lips soon sprouted a smile.
---------
It wasn’t exactly hard to figure out where Blueblood had run off to. His bedsheet rope only stretched down to the balcony of one of the old royal archives. Indeed, it was the only one in the castle proper to have any actual reading material inside; most of the books, charts, and other materials had been moved into the actual Canterlot Archives once it was finished. After verifying with the guards stationed outside that nopony had entered or left from the main entrance, Shining Armor unlocked the doors and pushed them open.
Sure enough, in the far corner of the tiny room, the former Prince Blueblood was sitting at a single table, looking over what looked like a massive book of some kind. The two standing guardponies moved to apprehend the fugitive, but froze as Shining Armor’s forehooves tapped their shoulders. “I’ll handle this. You two return to your post and keep watch in case he tries to slip past.”
“Understood, sir,” they whispered in unison before stepping back into the hall. Once they were out of the way, Shining willed the door to close slowly until it shut itself with a very silent click. Once he was certain Blueblood wasn’t bothering to look at the entrance, he crouched down and slinked through the room with all the grace of a cat. That is, save for the rustling and clanging of his armor, the scuffling of his hooves on the floor, and his heavy breathing from trying to remain balanced while hunched over in all this armor. It was a miracle the colt still didn’t hear what sounded like an entire kitchen’s worth of pots and pans sneaking up on him.
After about twenty seconds of sneaking like a common thief, Shining Armor stood directly behind his prisoner. The colt still wasn’t paying attention, instead seemingly content to scan through a massive text written in indecipherable letters. The Captain paused briefly in confusion at all this; not only did he never take Blueblood for the brainy type (as in, the type with brains to begin with), but he had never even seen this language before. It almost felt like something that Twilight would have smuggled out of one of the royal libraries when she was filly, if only because the book had to be more important than anything else on the shelf. After all, it was bigger.
In any case, however, the pony he was staring at was not Twilight, nor was he any part of his family. (At least, not yet.)
The Captain straightened his posture and gave a big harrumph. “You shouldn’t be down here, Blueblood. This room is strictly forbidden to unauthorized personnel.”
Blueblood shivered slightly, but still made no motion towards actually turning around. Shining Armor facehoofed himself in frustration, readjusted his helmet, and leaned over the colt. “This is your last warning, Blueblood. Keep going like this, and I’ll have to stick you in the stock-”
The words died in Shining Armor’s throat as his eyes caught a better glimpse of the open pages. The yellowing sheets now bore small water marks across the bottom of the binding. Hmph. Drooling on ancient books is hardly the way to get Celestia to like you. Boy, did I learn that the hard way.
He placed one hoof on Blueblood’s back and gave it a little shake. To his amazement, the response he got was not that of a colt snorting his way back to the waking world, but rather a few coughs and some frustrated moans. “What is it?”
Fighting back his frustrations with his charge’s behavior, Shining Armor cleared his thorat and continued. “Um…Blueblood? Is something wrong?”
“I…I was just…” The colt shivered slightly. “I was just reading something. That’s all.”
Shining Armor sighed in defeat. After spending around two-thirds of his life as the BBBFF of a socially reclusive Unicorn, he had considerable experience with this kind of behavior. In fact, one of Twiley’s favorite ways to rile their parents was to just free stick her nose in a book and not so much as look up for anything. It worked, too…until they decided to call her on the bluff and she went two days without any food besides what her brother snuck out of the pantry.
No, stop! Just…stop! This is not your little sis! This is the monster that tried to kill her!
The Captain took a deep breath. “Former Prince Blueblood, it’s time for your inspection. I want you out there in uniform in the next twenty minutes, or you will…”
“It’s all right,” Blueblood muttered. “I’m a terrible pony. I deserve to be punished.”
Shining’s entire body became as rigid and inflexible as a statue. Of all the comebacks he had expected to hear, this wasn’t one of them. “Wait…you want to be locked up for insubordination? I…I don’t think that’s ever happened before.” Through sheer strength of will, he forced his muscles to unlock and walked up to the colt’s right side. He could see some red around his eyes, but whether this was from crying or sleepiness was beyond him at this point. “Blueblood, is something wrong?”
Blueblood sighed and wiped the bottom of his eyelids, knocking out a few pieces of crust in the process. “Things…happened yesterday. I had a chance to look things over, and…I had to look up something in here. I wasn’t planning to run away from Canterlot or go into hiding somewhere. I just…wanted to see if it was true.”
Armor readjusted his helmet just enough to scratch his head. “If…what is true?”
“If the old ways really were better.”
The entire room went silent, save for the scurrying of the occasional spider. History was never one of Shining Armor’s best subjects in school, and he did have a sad tendency to zone his sister out whenever she went crazy over some minor bit of historical trivia she had just dug up, so he wasn’t quite sure what Blueblood was talking about right there. However, there was something in the way he spoke. That he had heard before, when one of his recruits began to doubt their ability or lose their confidence. If Blueblood was going through the same thing…
The Captain sighed. “I see. In any case, a tired soldier isn’t going to be of any use to me. Besides, Princess Luna told me you’re going to a party, so trust me, you need your sleep.” Blueblood nodded silently. “Now come on, I’ll take you back to your room.”
The colt shrugged and slid out of his seat, his every movement weighed down by a combination of despair and general fatigue. He barely even acknowledged when Shining Armor gave him Luna’s request that he actually dress up for today’s activity.
Mother…father…it was all wrong…
----------
Blueblood sighed as he slipped his tiny bowtie on. It wasn’t because he didn’t like dressing up; far from it, in fact. One of the things he missed the most in his current situation was his fantastically wide wardrobe, including a suit for every day of the year and more than enough ties, bowties, and exquisite overcoats to ensure he was always the fanciest at any party. Just because it was a commoner’s birthday party didn’t mean a dress code shouldn’t be expected.
Nor was it because the order to dress up came from Luna. Formal attire was hardly an invention of the last millennium, and Princess Celestia herself had gone to great lengths in describing the many outfits she had worn during social events of the past. Apparently, they were so exquisitely designed that she swore off clothes for generations after that. There was also something about her feeling like a pincushion whenever she was being measured, and that one time her dressmakers insisted that lime green was the perfect color to go with her mane, but that was probably just her making light of her past again.
No, the problem was much simpler. In but a few moments, I shall be attending my first social function since…this. And right after I insulted the hostess’ best friend and thought of slaughtering her family. I…
He froze mid-tug. The undersides of his eyes were already beginning to burn again. I don’t deserve this. I shouldn’t be allowed to…
His brief moment of soul searching and self-condemnation came to a crashing halt as an unimaginably powerful being pushed his door open, sending the colt jumping in the air and yelping in surprise. At the other side of the room’s entrance stood Princess Luna, a big, fake-looking grin on her face. “Ah, Prince Blueblood. How wonderful to see you are properly preparing yourself for today.”
Blueblood scoffed and rolled his eyes, pushing back all the insecure thoughts for at least this moment. “I’m only doing this because you made me. I don’t see why I have to dress up for a foal’s birthday party. It’s not like they have any sense of fashion at these things.”
“Ah, but that is where you have made a mistake,” Luna said. “You see, my dear nephew, Equestria’s royal family must maintain some standards of appearance whenever they go out in public, and you are no exception. Even if you are technically without a birthright, I am still escorting you to this function, and as such what you do shall reflect on me.”
The colt’s lips curled into that little pout only a foal was truly capable of performing. “So in other words, you’re making me do this so you’ll look better.”
Luna chuckled an evil chuckle and patted Blueblood on the head. “I am so glad your brain failed to shrink with your body. And besides, a good appearance will help you once this sentence of yours is completed.”
Blueblood sighed, his tiny face twisting into a small pout. He kicked at the ground nervously as his face began to blush slightly. “Princess Luna…I have something I must ask you.”
Smiling, Luna sat down on her haunches and leaned closer to Blueblood’s face. The colt yelped and scuffled back in shock. At this angle, she looked less like a pony and more like a foal-consuming beast, the kind his mother used to warn him about to keep him quiet during one of her grown-up headaches. “Yes, my dear nephew?”
“W-Well…” Blueblood tapped his hooves together in an attempt to calm his nerves; all he accomplished was making the ends of his legs hurt. “I…I have been thinking about things and…I feel that…What I mean is…” He harrumphed the invisible ties off his tongue and started over. “Princess Luna, do you…”
“LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNA!”
The heart-to-heart (or whatever it was when it came to these two) stopped dead as a pink-coated Alicorn filly with a strangely highlighted mane came storming into the room, carrying a frou-frou pink dress on her back. Blueblood’s eyes widened in horror as he realized who this was, while Luna barely fought off the urge to giggle. “Y-Yes, my dear sister?”
“You…You fiend!” The filly pulled the end of the dress off with her mouth and tossed it onto the bed. “First you refuse to use a disguise, and now you’re making me wear something like this?!”
Blueblood’s eyes traced the fabric as it fell onto the bedcovers. It was certainly a pink thing, far pinker than anything he had seen even Cadance wear as a filly. There were little bows and fake roses sewn throughout, and there was even a big white bow right where the dress would be covering her tail. As for Celestia herself, she looked…odd. She almost looked like a knock-off of his cousin, save for the shape of her mane and the very different attitude she was carrying.
And then there was the problem that, even at this age, she was quite a big bigger than Blueblood.
“I thought you said we were all done with pranks!” Celestia said. “Why would you make me wear something that stupid?!”
Luna simultaneously giggled and sighed, her magic taking hold of the dress and levitating it over as she did so. “This is not meant as a jest, and I certainly do not wish to humiliate you, Celestia. But you are still a princess, and as such are still bound by our propriety. You must always make sure everything you do leaves the greatest impression possible on your subjects.”
She knelt down until she was eye level with Celestia. The newly-foaled Sun Princess recoiled slightly. “Just please, I want you to remain somewhat proper tonight. I know how much you hate dressing up for anything – and yes, I know about you going to the Grand Galloping Gala naked every year I was not there to force you to wear formal attire – but this is a special occasion. Lofty is your friend, and should you not try to look your best on her special day?”
Celestia sniffed, even as she fought back the urge to roll her eyes at her sister stealing another one of her speeches. “I guess you’re right. Just get it over with.”
Blueblood’s lower jaw almost snapped clean off. He had known his aunt his entire life, and she certainly had a silly and informal side to her, but not once had he ever seen her act as foalish as this. As an adult, she never threw fits or acted like a baby over something like a dress; in fact, she was the one that got him his first tuxedo, back when he wanted to pretend he was getting ready for the Grand Galloping Gala. Then where does this…
That was when he remembered what had happened back in the bathroom. Despite his years of refinement, he had completely lost control of his emotions, destroyed what ego he had remaining, and made a complete foal out of himself in front of his (current) peers. Perhaps that is a part of this spell. If it can remove all of my socialization experience, then it’s possible Aunt Celestia was affected the same way.
Celestia and Luna paid no heed to Blueblood’s hypothesizing; instead, the currently older pony was far too busy trying to get Celestia’s dress in place. As the neckline pulled itself over her head (pausing only to snag itself on her nub of a horn), the shrunken princess grimaced. “It still stinks, though. I doubt any other pony is making their kids wear something like this.”
----------
“Aw, moooooom! Do I have to wear this?!”
Lofty’s hooves picked at the frilly purple dress, pulling at the wing holes and biting at the neckline in a vain attempt to remove the garment. All her struggled earned her was a gentle whap on the head from Ruby Dream. “That’s quite enough, little lady. I don’t want you shredding your clothes this year just because you don’t like your dress.”
“But how am I supposed to do anything in this?!” The filly’s biting and pulling grew ever more desperate as the dress continued to try and consume her dignity. “The stupid sleeves are chocking my front legs, the dumb back keeps getting caught on my back hooves, and why’d you have to make it purple and why are you doing this to me don’t you love me anymore mom mom mom are you…”
Lofty’s whiny cries ceased as a loud crash echoed from the direction of the family wagon. A Pegasus stallion slowly emerged from beneath a dozen metal boxes and barrels, his cream-yellow coat stained from leaking fruit punch. Once she was certain he was alive and relatively uninjured, Ruby facehoofed at her dear husband’s stupidity. “I told you, Vantage! We needed to fix the latch on that gate weeks ago!”
Vantage rubbed his bruised face, failing to even notice his daughter galloping up to him as best she could in this dress. “Daddy, are you all right?!”
The stallion shrugged, his back finally snapping back into place in the process. “Hmph, it’ll take more than a few stupid boxes to take down this old pony!” Lofty’s concerned frown turned into a gleeful smile as her super-strong father’s continued survival. He was even nice enough to fake a pulled muscle as he staggered away from the mess.
Sighing, Ruby walked away from the picnic tables and party decorations she had just set up (which consisted of a single cheap tablecloth, some party flags, and a few blowers and paper hats) and joined her still-groaning husband at the wreck. “I wish you wouldn’t use the same boxes from work, dear. There’s no need to carry chips and gummy worms inside metal boxes.”
“Nonsense!” the stallion shouted. “Wood can break with one bad bump, cardboard isn’t worth anything, and stuff would fall right through a cage! But solid steel is unbreakable, can withstand a fire, and could take out a rampaging manticore if need be!” He shrank back a little. “And besides, they were selling them cheap at work.”
“Hello, there!”
The three ponies spun about towards the oncoming voices, the filly’s smile growing wide as she saw who was coming. A pair of Earth ponies, one a brown stallion and the other a peach mare, were trotting up to the small party area, a massive rectangular object on their backs. Beneath them, however, was the true cause of Lofty’s elation: a bouncing purple package tied with green ribbon.
Lofty barely managed to resist the urge to lick her lips in anticipation. It was the first present of the day.
Oh, and Ribbon was carrying it. That was nice, too.
The advancing family was soon upon the party grounds themselves, the birthday pony’s heart skipping with every clop of their hooves. Vantage quickly motioned the two adults towards one of the far tables, while Ribbon handed her gift over to Ruby for storage. “Happy birthday, Lofty!”
“Oh, it’s so great that you made it!” Lofty leaped onto her friend, grabbing her in an iron-tight hug and holding on for a good ten seconds. Ribbon exhaled a sigh of relief as her friend finally stopped trying to choke her. “So did you see the cake? What’s it look like?”
Ribbon shook her head. “Nah, mom didn’t let me near it. She said I’d spoil the surprise.”
A mischievous smile spread across Lofty’s lips as her eyes turned towards the far table. There, in the preordained “Adult” section of her party, sat what could only be her birthday cake. Her father and Ribbon’s parents, father Pumpernickel and mother Sourdough, were busy setting up metal kegs of some kind, no doubt filled with the mommies-and-dadies-only kind of cider they drank sometimes. Ruby, meanwhile, was taking the present with her to join them, no doubt to keep it well guarded from the filly’s desperate urge to discover what her friends gave her without having to deal with cake and ice cream.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”
Lofty and Ribbon snapped their heads around to find Buttons and Gusty standing next to them, having snuck across the grass like miniature ninjas. Behind them was Button’s mother Seamstress, a lavender Unicorn levitating a pair of gift bags next to her side. Lofty quickly repeated the same attempted ponyslaughter she had pulled on Ribbon only moments before with her new friends, who felt just as relieved to have survived their Pegasus friend’s judo grip. The filly’s elation soon turned to confusion, however. “Wait, where’s your parents, Gusty?”
“Dad had to go to a rehearsal, and mom decided Mrs. Seamstress could take me.” Gusty huffed. “She said my grounding won’t begin until I get back from here.”
“I wouldn’t worry about that,” said Seamstress. She leaned over and gave Buttons an affectionate nuzzle. “Today is a party, and you four should be having fun with your friends. The real world can wait a few hours.” In a flash, the mare’s smile turned into a pained grimace. “That bitter, cruel real world…”
“Um…mom? Y-You’re hurting me.”
Snapping back to reality at her daughter’s words, Seamstress gasped and lifted her hoof away in a hurry. Buttons rubbed the top of her head in aggravation, briefly crossing her eyes at her mother. “Oh…sorry. Well, you four have fun. If you need me, I’ll be sampling the cider.” And with that, she quickly cantered away to booze herself up.
“Well…that was strange,” said Lofty.
“She wasn’t always like that,” Buttons muttered sadly, “but after she lost her last job, she’s been really…different. Whatever her boss did to her must have been real bad.”
Lofty opened her mouth to speak again, but was silenced by the sound of fluttering wings. She peeked up over her friend’s heads just in time to catch a several Pegasi, Unicorns, and Earth ponies of all ages coming closer. She could recognize a lot of them from her class, as well as a few ponies she was acquainted with from her neighborhood, but that wasn’t important.
What was important were the big, shiny boxes and bags they were carrying with them.
Lofty’s smile only grew as sweet, sweet greed took over her mind. This is gonna be the best birthday ever!
----------
Blueblood stared at the park in utter confusion. The party was obviously still gathering, with more and more ponies arriving with brightly-colored packages perched on their backs and in their mouths. At the same time, though, there were so many things missing. Where are the announcers and greeters? And what of the servants? Who will show everypony to their seats? How can anypony call this a party?
“Come on, Leon!” Blueblood shook his head vigorously enough for his eyes to rattle for seconds afterwards. Celestia was already standing several steps in front of him, the filly glowering and waving impatiently. They had already lost time thanks to Blueblood having to stop by the toy store to pick up his gift, and she seemed to not want to accommodate any further delays. Luna, meanwhile, was still hidden under her massive cloak in the vain hopes of avoiding a massive rush of curious citizens and bewildered ponies. Given the strange looks she was getting from everypony that passed, she wasn’t succeeding very well.
Celestia stamped her hoof in frustration, once again sending Blueblood’s heart skipping in surprise at her filly behavior. “We’re not gonna get our groove on all the way out here!”
Blueblood cocked an eyebrow, spat out the gift bag that was between his teeth, and groaned. “‘Our groove on?’ Where did a pony like you learn such language?”
Celestia shrugged. “Just something I picked up somewhere.”
Luna sighed and slammed rubbed her temples with one hoof. “Such language is fine right now, but please be careful once you get back to court. I highly doubt our advisors would understand your…modern vernacular. Now let’s get going.”
Blueblood nodded, picked up his gift, and resumed trotting towards the party.
----------
By the time the party’s last attendees had arrived, things were in full swing. A few of the parents, Ruby included, were trotting about the crowd of fillies and colts, keeping an eye on the party’s proceedings. The rest of the adults had sequestered themselves in a corner of the park, sipping on drinks and chatting away about their daily lives, how wonderful their children were, and how hard it was to resist the urge to throttle their little necks from time to time. As for the foals themselves, they were simply running around, playing “Pin The Tale on the Donkey” on a board Lofty’s parents had set up, or just fooling around with their noisemakers.
The sight of so many ponies, many of whom probably hated him on principle, was enough to make Blueblood freeze up again. His eyes darted about, looking for any means of escape, but cold inevitability eventually reared its ugly face again. After what happened yesterday, he had to own up to his mistakes and be the better pony. And besides, Aunt Luna would probably turn me into a slug if I ran.
Lofty looked up from the most intense game of Go Fish ever devised by ponykind at the sound of the new arrivals, and the smile that followed almost broke her entire face. With a scream of pure glee, she jumped to her hooves, leaped over the play area and her friends, and galloped up to the party entrance. Celestia smiled back just as her friend plowed right into her like an out-of-control milk cart, sending both sharp-dressed fillies tumbling to the ground.
“Oh, I can’t believe you really made it!” Lofty said. “I mean, mom said you would probably be very busy and there was no way you could get over here but…” She paused to catch her breath. “Wow!”
The real filly and the temporary filly wrapped their forehooves together in a warm hug. “I wouldn’t have missed this for all the tea in Canterlot,” Celestia whispered.
Ribbon, Gusty and Buttons slowly walked over in confusion. “Hey…Lofty?” asked Ribbon. “Who is this?”
Lofty’s eyes suddenly burst open as she remembered her regular friends were still there. The yellow Pegasus turned about, one leg still wrapped around Celestia’s neck, and gave as big a grin as her two loose baby teeth would allow. “Fillies, this is…um…” She paused as Celestia whispered something in her ear. “Sunlight! And she’s come…all the way here from…far away to…um… Did I mention she’s a princess?!”
Somewhere within the party, a record needle scratched, several dozen ponies gasped in unison, a low-flying bird slammed into a bell after being distracted by shock, and a few million blades of grass seemed to shake in spite of their not being so much as a light breeze. Lofty’s friends in particular just stared at the newcomer, their mouths hanging open like they were in a dentist’s chair.
Celestia blushed and shied away. “Um…hello?”
All three of the stunned fillies had the exact same reaction. “P-P-PRINCESS?!”
“Yeah, we met back when mom took me to the castle!” Lofty finally released her last leg from around Celestia’s head and brought both forehooves up to mouth level. “She’s just about one of the most best ponies out there, and since she was back in town today, I…”
“Um…hello…”
Lofty’s brain snapped at the new, male voice. With a look of pure consternation, she turned to face the utterly downtrodden Blueblood. “Um…hi. I…didn’t know you were gonna make it.”
“I didn’t, either,” he sighed. “But…really, it’s…well…happy birthday.”
“Y-Yeah,” Lofty muttered awkwardly. Ribbon and Buttons trotted up to the colt a bit more warmly, their happy faces and welcoming smiles standing in sharp contrast to the unsure coldness of the birthday filly’s own greeting. As for Gusty, she just looked more than a little ashamed at herself right now. “A-Anyway, I hope you both have fun, and…” She raised an eye at the recently-noticed adult pony standing behind them. “And who is that?!”
“LOFTY!”
Lofty shuddered and spun around towards her mom. Ruby’s hooves were just pulling away from a large bowl of chips. “Is something wrong?”
“N-No, mom!” Lofty shouted back. “Sunlight just got here, and…”
To this day, nopony knows exactly how fast Ruby moved. Some say she could have pulled off another Sonic Rainboom if she had just stayed at it a little longer. Others say she seemed to just vanish for a moment, with only a red blur to note that she even still existed. The more sensible ponies, however, just skipped to the part where she was standing right in front of one of her bosses and shaking her tiny hoof. “Oh, thank you so much for coming! I just knew that you could find time for this party if we just let you know.”
Lofty scratched her chin. “Wait, that’s not what happened. Remember? You said she would be faaar too busy to come to my party and I shouldn’t even bother inviting her?”
“Um…well…” Ruby chuckled nervously as Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “I…I didn’t say it quite like that, but…well, I’m just really glad you made it!” She bowed to her shrunken monarch.
Buttons rolled her eyes towards Ribbon. “Can you believe this? She’s gonna steal the whole party, I just know it.”
Ribbon shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, she did screw up that one stallion’s life, but that really doesn’t count as a party.” She turned towards the still-distraught Blueblood. “Hey, Leon! You wanna go play ‘Duck, duck, goose?’”
“Leon?!” Ruby’s head shot up towards the small colt. “Oh, so you must be the new pony Lofty’s talked about! I have really been looking forward to…meeting…YOU!”
The mare’s eyes receded into the back of her skull as a tiny, almost inaudible squeak slowly ran up and out her larynx. Blueblood just shrank even closer to the ground as he watched Ruby’s coat grow paler from the sheer horror of it all. Apparently, she remembered him, too. “Um…hello?”
“Y-You’re…”
The hooded adult sighed and pulled back her hood, revealing the face of Princess Luna herself. Everything in the party stopped in an instant, as did Ruby’s heart and brain. The Night Mare blushed and rubbed her snout nervously. “Miss Dream, I believe I must explain a few things. If you wouldn’t mind accompanying me…”
Before Ruby could say anything, Luna had already wrapped her entire body with her magic and was escorting her off the grounds. Everypony else just watched the spectacle in silent awe.
“W-Wow…” whispered Gusty. “Two princesses and a fight already? This is the best party ever.”
----------
Fortunately for Luna and her attendant, the Canterlot Central Park was surrounded at all sides by dark alleyways and alcoves, making their escape and angry whispers far easier to pull off. By the time the two had found a suitable alleyway, the rage on Ruby’s face was palpable. “Princess Luna, what is going on here? Are you telling me that…thing that attacked Lofty is the same student she was complaining about?”
Luna shrugged, readjusting the hood of her cloak as she did so. “I am afraid so. Celestia has been sending him to Kindergarten as part of a rehabilitation program. So far, I do not believe it is working as she had hoped.”
Ruby’s breaths became lower and deeper, her coat darkening until it almost took the consistency of dried blood. She bowed her head to the ground as her rage towards Luna, Celestia, and the entirety of the cosmos began to take hold over her mind. “Then I need to start working on getting her out of there! You have a seat on the city’s Board of Education! Just give me the paperwork and I’ll get her in a new school so fast that-”
The mare’s panicked ranting ceased as a single, starry-horseshoed hoof clasped down on her shoulder. Ruby looked up just enough to see her employer’s eyes. “Ruby Dream, I can promise you that your daughter is not in danger. Blueblood might me a fool, but he is almost completely harmless as it is.”
“B-But…” Ruby’s teeth clenched together so hard they resembled pearly white prison bars. “He…He tried to hit my Lofty. And what about when he tried to attack Princess Celestia when we were turning her back to normal. How can you possibly justify leaving my daughter in the same school as him?”
Luna nodded, and then motioned her head towards the party. Ruby slowly followed the invisible hoof to where her daughter was standing. Lofty was still playing with some of her friends and classmates, while Celestia watched excitedly and Blueblood just looked on in silence. “Like I said, Blueblood is harmless right now. He knows he has to remain on Celestia’s good side if he wishes to return to normal. Is it worth forcing your daughter to give up her friendships just so she can get away from a broken pony like my nephew?”
Ruby was silent at first. Then, she snorted and shook her head. “I…I guess not…”
“I already have plans in place to get him banished forever,” Luna said with a wink. “For now, however, please take my word when I say that Lofty is in no danger.” Her smile grew as she removed her hoof from her attendant’s shoulder. “The three of us are only staying until after the cake is served and presents are opened. We shall just keep an eye on him during that time, and should he do something wrong, you and I shall make him pay dearly. What say you to this?”
Luna extended a hoof towards her attendant. Ruby’s eyes locked onto the sparkly ungulate shoe as a thousand different voices burned their way through her mind. It all seemed so easy, and yet felt so wrong. Lofty was her everything, and yet she knew Princess Luna could be trusted. She was still new in Canterlot; all this political backstabbing and maneuvering wasn’t for another five or six pay grades. And yet, Blueblood had tried to attack her daughter, and bad colts deserved to be punished.
Her decision was made. She gently clapped her hoof against Luna’s, being careful not to try and cause the moon’s steward any undue winces. “We’ll see how he acts today. But if he does anything wrong, I will do anything I have to do to protect Lofty. Understood?”
Luna nodded. “Very well. Now, shall we return before they suspect us of wrongdoing? I can only see a wonderful experience from this party.”
----------
“So…Princess Sunlight is your niece?” Sourdough asked while scratching the back of her head.
Luna nodded. “It is a rather lengthy relation, but yes, she and I are of the same blood.”
Seamstress slowly drank down her paper cup of cider, making doubly sure not to spill a drop lest she find herself rotting away in a prison for disturbing the mighty Luna’s sense of propriety. “And Leon?”
Luna sighed and rolled her eyes. “Like I said, his mother works at the castle. She was sick today, so I offered to escort him to the party and back. Just because I brought him here doesn’t mean he’s actually related to us.” She took another sip. “But…surely there is something else we can discuss here? I have answered the same two questions eight times already.”
The adults moaned and looked about each other like a pack of field mice about to be swooped upon by a passing owl. Luna, meanwhile, stretched her lips into a smile as best she could, even if her muscles felt more like thin wooden beams trying to hold up a stone ceiling. “I…suppose that qualifies as a ‘no,’ then.”
One of the Pegasus adults’ heads suddenly perked up. “Say, did any of you hear that one about the donkey and the mule on the desert island? So, a donkey and a mule…”
The joke died as quickly as it began as one of the other adults gave her a hard kick to the hips. The Pegasus recoiled, only to meet with a look of disgust and a zipping motion from the offending parent. Luna floated her drink down and walked up to the two, a look of pure confusion/disdain on her face. “What is going on here?”
The kicker froze in terror, with only the slightest chuckle to hint at the madness swelling within her brain. “Well..I…Ah…You see, that joke is rather…risqué for such an occasion, and with a pony like you attending, well…”
To the pony’s eternal surprise, however, Luna smiled and chuckled. “You have nothing to worry about. Bawdy humor was not invented during my thousand-year banishment. For example, my sister once told me a story about a…” She suddenly paused as a pair of foals came rushing by, blowing noisemakers in each other’s ears to see who could go deaf first. “…Actually, you were right. This really is not the right place for such talk.”
Everypony nodded, agreed, and then returned to the awkward silence. Luna sighed and sipped her fruit punch, but by this point the taste of mangos and strawberries mixed together brought her little joy. Yet again, she was at a party and nopony was willing to talk to her. Just like every other party in my…
“Excuse me, Princess Luna?”
The blue Alicorn’s ears perked up and twisted towards the source of this new voice. It didn’t take long for her invisible sonar to finally pinpoint the brave pony that wished to speak to her. It was a Pegasus stallion, with a coat of a similar color to Lofty’s and a jack-in-the-box for a Cutie Mark. A smile crept across her face. At long last, actual pony contact!
Sensing a willing audience, the stallion grinned and straightened the plaid saddlebags on his back. “I’m Lofty’s uncle, and would you like to hear about my thriving gag business?”
And in an instant, all of Luna’s newfound joy evaporated.
----------
Blueblood stared up at the paper-and-cardboard dragon in bewilderment. “So, what is the point of this again?”
Gusty gave the one reaction she knew for that kind of question: she groaned and slammed her hoof hard into her face. “Are you seriously telling me you have never seen a piñata before? It’s the most important thing at any birthday!” She paused and scratched her chin. “No wait, that’s presents. Well, it’s the second most…no, that’s cake. I…I know it’s important.”
“It’s actually a fun game,” said Buttons. Gusty sighed as her more brainy friend took over the conversation, thereby saving everypony within the vicinity from her oncoming conniption. “We just take a big stick and try to break it open. There’s a whole bunch of candy in there, and once somepony smashes it, it’ll all pour out on the ground.”
Blueblood recoiled a few steps in surprise. “You mean…we’re eating off the ground?”
“I know!” shouted Celestia. “Isn’t it just exciting?!”
Vantage finished tying the piñata’s rope to the stake, double checked to make sure it was low enough for the younger ponies to reach, and then clapped his hooves together in victory. “Alright, kids! Everypony that wants a whack at the dragon line up behind the birthday filly!”
Lofty yelped out in glee and galloped up to her father so fast she left clumps of grass and soil behind in her wake. The other fillies and colts were quick to join in, save for a few that were forbidden from ever handling a club again, with Celestia and Blueblood taking up positions in the middle of the line. The Sun Princess was practically skipping from her excitement, while the fallen prince remained as sullen and withdrawn as he had been all day.
Vantage pulled out a black bandana, rolled it up into a blindfold, and then tied it around his daughter’s eyes. “Now, we all know the rules, right? Once I put the blindfold on and spin you around, everypony gets three whacks at the dragon. Now remember, no swinging at anypony else, no trying to sneak in a fourth hit, and above all else, have fun!”
His opening speech finished, Vantage grabbed Lofty by her sides and spun her three times in a perfect circle before placing the stick in her mouth. The filly, now completely disoriented and running blind, stumbled forward a few steps before jumping up and swinging with all her three times. Her first blow managed to wing the papier-mâché beast underneath the left foreleg, but the other two attacks went wide and only served to lighten the tree by a few strips of bark. Her failed assault concluded, Lofty took off the fold, set down the stick, and trotted off to the sidelines to wait for the candy to fall.
Next up was a pudgy little Earth pony colt. He took a few swings, missed every time, and then trotted away in shame.
Then it was Ribbon’s turn to bat. She licked her lips, grabbed the stick, and swung like a madpony at that horrid monstrosity. Unfortunately, she was facing the wrong direction in all the confusion, and by the time she had finished her three swings, she had succeeded only in scaring away a few pigeons and causing a picnic table to nudge about one-quarter of an inch to the side.
Celestia barely held back a chuckle as the blue filly removed her blindfold, smiled proudly at her wanton destruction, and then trotted away to join the others. With much gusto in her voice, she leaned her head back until she was able to at least see the top of Blueblood’s head. “At this rate, it’ll be up to us to take this thing down! You up for a little dragon slaying, Leon?”
Blueblood’s only response was to give a disinterested shrug.
Celestia’s exuberance at reliving her days fighting fearsome beasts for the souls of all of ponydom were quickly washed away at the sight of her nephew’s frustration. He used to just walk things like what happened yesterday off like nothing happened. I don’t want to be mean here, but he needs to have a little fun…
----------
“…And so you see, the novelty business is booming all over Equestria.” The Pegasus stallion took another sip of disgustingly non-foamy cider as Luna continued to feign interest. “In fact, I even brought one of my new items with me. I thought I’d give it a try during the party, see how the kids like it.”
“I…see,” Luna muttered. She took another long, slow sip of punch, taking extra care to extend how long it took her to actually swallow. Whatever it took to help send the message that she was not interested in showing favor to somepony’s business without yelling at him. “I suppose a juvenile audience would be the perfect market for such things. What, exactly, is this new item of yours?”
----------
Gusty smiled as she witnessed the damage she had caused. The poor beast’s underbelly had been struck so many times that the cracks were beginning to show. Tiny pieces of candy trickled out like blood from an open wound, all of which she quickly scooped up in a paper bag Ruby and Vantage had provided. At the very least, it would help tide her over during her imprisonment.
Celestia clapped her hooves together as she finally took her place at the front of the line. She marched into position with all the pomp of a mare at her first Gala, tempered by the steel nerve of a master dragon slayer. Vantage gulped down a big ball of fearful air as he carefully tied the blindfold over the Princess’ face. “N-Now, are you sure Princess Luna won’t be upset with you swinging around a bat? It doesn’t really sound like a…princess-y activity.”
The filly grumbled at the sheer…stereotyping of it all. “She’ll be fine. Just spin me around and let me finish this thing off.”
----------
The stallion dug into his saddlebags and pulled out a small, sealed cardboard tube, which he then set down on the Earth below. “It’s safe to assume you’re at least familiar with noise makers and firecrackers?”
Luna nodded as she slowly inched her head closer, if only to smack him with her horn and get him to leave.
“Well, firecrackers are wonderful and all, but they’re incredibly dangerous and, well, illegal in almost every corner of Equestria. So I figured, why not make something that makes the sound of those death sticks without any risk of blowing somepony’s hoof off?”
Luna sipped her punch again, her horn now inches away from his nose. “I see.”
----------
Celestia staggered up to the dragon like a drunk and made her first swing. The bat slammed into the cardboard side of the dragon, widening the crack and causing more candy to start falling. Her second blow struck home yet again, sending even more sugary entrails sprawling on the dirty floor. The foals around her bit their hooves in anticipation, while Lofty bent over, wings extended, for the big rush…
----------
“And now…” The stallion reared up on his hind legs, a scowl of determination on his face. “The sound of the first Thundercracker!”
In the approximately 1.3 seconds it took for his hooves to strike down, Luna had just barely enough time to realize what he had said, what this noise was going to be, and just in how many ways her sister was in trouble.
----------
Celestia reared up for her last swing, pitched her head to the side, and finally began to twist her neck for the fatal blow…
And then she heard it. The one noise she could spend an entire lifetime without.
Thunder.
The sound exploded through her ears, rattling through her brain before nestling deep within the deep, dark recesses of her mind. Thousands upon thousands of years of horrible, terrified memories surged to the forefront of her imagination. She could feel the icy tendrils of cold, unrelenting terror slip over her body and worm its way around every inch of her being, leaving a cold, slimy sweat behind in its wake.
The darkness of the blindfold did not help matters much, either.
Celestia screamed and hunched to the ground, her tiny little forelegs wrapping around her head like a makeshift security helmet. So quick was her shutdown that she was still in the middle of her swing when the disaster struck, sending the bat flying from her opened mouth at a terribly fast speed. The club missed the piñata entirely, glanced its handle against the tree trunk, bounced off the tree trunk, and came right back towards the pony that had dared to toss it aside.
Unfortunately for the bat, its target was still hanging low to the ground. Even more unfortunately for the pony right behind Celestia, Blueblood’s head was still facing downward in his self-pity. Vantage tried to gallop up to catch it, but his initial shock at what sounded like an explosion from the adult’s area slowed him down just enough for the bat to make contact with Blueblood’s forehead.
If nothing else, the sudden jolt was enough to snap Blueblood out of his funk and back into reality. That is, until his hooves felt the massive bump now residing on his noggin. Adult and foal like immediately broke from whatever they were doing and raced to the scene of the assault, where Celestia was still cowering and Blueblood was still stunned from the pain.
“Oh Celestia, are you okay?”
“Leon, you alright?”
“It was an accident!”
Blueblood simply sat there for a few moments more, his features still frozen in catatonia from the sheer surprise of it all. After enough blood had flowed to his brain for him to properly digest what had occurred, he reacted exactly like an injured colt would.
He started bawling.
----------
Blueblood winced from the sheer coldness of the ice pack pressing against his skull, prompting a sigh from Luna. “If you would not fidget so much, this would go much easier.”
The colt sniffled back a few more tears. Even now, with he, Celestia and Luna safely secluded away from the rest of the party, he could still feel the shame from his latest public humiliation. His now-regressed aunt pressed her hoof against the pack, turning her eyes to her sister as she did so. “If you don’t mind, Luna, I’d like a moment alone with Leon. Would you mind keeping an eye out in case anypony else gets too close?”
Luna started to mouth an objection, but finally gave in and trotted far enough away to remain out of earshot, and still close enough to watch for any onlookers and bystanders that might wander by. Once she was sure the coast was clear, Celestia sighed and gaze Blueblood a short nuzzle along the side of his face. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t expect anypony to bring something like…that to a party.”
Blueblood let out a sharp cough. “It’s…all right. I’ve been hit harder than that before.”
“Why didn’t you just try to dodge? It’s not like it was going a thousand miles an hour or anything.”
“Because…” He leaned his head low. “Because it doesn’t matter. I’ve already wasted my whole life. What’s a little more pain on top of that?”
Celestia’s brow creased in worry. “You might want to start at the top.”
“Yesterday, I started thinking…bad things.” Blueblood gulped and chocked back a few tears. “This morning I…I broke into one of the old archive rooms and…looked through some of the tomes you’d left behind.”
“You really shouldn’t have done that.” Celestia shook her head as she sat down on her haunches, her hoof still firmly pressed against Blueblood’s head bump. “You’re already in enough trouble as it is, and I don’t recall giving you permission to enter such forbidden chambers as that.”
Blueblood shook his head, sending Celestia’s leg swinging along with it. “I found something that went over the old Unicornia traditions, the same ones you had gotten rid of centuries ago. My parents told me that they were all wonderful laws and customs meant to make sure that everypony knew their place in society and dissent was punished. They wanted me to bring those same traditions back.”
Celestia looked down at the ground; no matter how hard she tried, she found it harder and harder to look her nephew in the eye. “Yes, I know. And their parents were the exact same. The past always does look romantic when you didn’t have to live through all that muck and mire.” With great effort, she turned back to Blueblood, who was on the verge of tears again. “But what does that have to do with today?”
“Do you know what I saw in that thing?!” He gasped and coughed as hot water streamed down his cheeks. “The book said that an entire village was slaughtered down to a pony because a noble said they owned the land the ponies lived on and he wanted to grow more wheat. It…It described everything! That…thing loved it!” Blueblood let out a low wail and hunched over, sending the ice pack sliding down to the dirty ground. “The land…wasn’t even his. He lied the whole time.”
“I know what you’re talking about,” Celestia said sadly. She leaned over, picked the pack up with her teeth, spat it into her hoof, and then placed it back on Blueblood’s head as best she could. “Baron Starlight was a monster. Were it not for Luna’s investigation, he would have never been found out.”
Blueblood’s sobs only intensified. His eyes were clamped so tight his entire face was in agony. “They didn’t tell me any of that. They didn’t tell me how those stupid laws could be misused! All they did was…was…I wanted to burn a village down! It was fine, because they told me we were free to do whatever was needed to maintain order! I…I…I wanted to kill an entire settlement because of a DANCE!”
At long last, the dam finally burst. Blueblood crumpled onto the ground in a fetal position, his body twisting in a pathetic display of broken tears and crushed spirits. Celestia gasped and bit her bottom lip, her eyes darting back and forth as she desperately tried to think of something, anything, she could do to calm her despairing nephew down again. It was right in the middle of his fifteen rack of sobs that she finally came up with something.
She laid herself next to Blueblood’s back, making sure to stay away from his hooves in case he started kicking. “I want you to listen to me. Just…please, listen to me.”
Blueblood’s tears and cries continued, but his convulsions at least seemed to cease at Celestia’s voice. Even with a much higher pitch in her voice, he could still pick out something calmingly familiar in her words. For the first time almost two decades, there was no sign of disapproval or dismissal. It was all so…comforting.
Seeing the positive feedback from her opening approach, Celestia continued. “Now, I know these last few days have been a shock to you, and it must seem like this was all my plan. But that’s not true. I wanted you to learn from all this, to make yourself a better pony. I never intended to…crush you quite like this.”
Blueblood’s nerves cooled even further, his sobs now reducing down to a few streaks of tears and some chokes. “B-But…if I wasn’t such a…”
“Your parents taught you a lot of half-truths and misinformed beliefs about those old beliefs and ideas they worshipped. And even after I told you they weren’t correct, you refused to break with them and turn yourself away from becoming the same pony they became.” She sighed. “You made a lot of terrible decisions, Blueblood, and you will have to come to terms with that, but that doesn’t mean you have to just close yourself off from the world.”
“Who cares?” Blueblood sniffed. “Nopony would even care that I’m gone. The ponies in court only tolerated me because I was your nephew! The foals out there all think I’m a crybaby! Even your friend Lofty wants to beat on my face because I’m such a monster!”
Celestia opened her mouth to speak again, perhaps even refute his assertions about Lofty and face-beating, but quickly shifted the subject. “Just…please, promise me you’ll…”
“Um…excuse me?”
Blueblood and Celestia both tore their attention away from their private moment just in time to see Gusty emerge from the bushes, one of the candy bags from the piñata smashing clutched in her mouth. She slowly sat herself on her haunches and placed the bag on the ground, looking about as low as Blueblood at this moment. “Hi, Leon. I…thought I’d bring you some of the candy. Buttons…really tore into that dragon.”
Only because I did all the work. Celestia’s ears suddenly went erect with fear. “Wait…how much did you hear? What happened to Aunt Luna?”
“She went back to the other grown-ups,” Gusty said. “And…can I please talk to Leon alone? I really need to do something here.”
Celestia and Blueblood looked down at each other briefly. The colt’s eyes were wide and pleading, and for a moment Celestia almost relented. And then she got another idea. “Actually...I need to talk to Aunt Luna about something. I guess I’ll leave you two alone.” And with that, she galloped away before either pony could say anything else.
Blueblood reared up on his haunches and wiped his eyes. “Wh-What do you want?”
Gusty sighed. “I’m really, really, really sorry I broke your snow globe.”
Blueblood raised an eyebrow. “I thought we talked about that yesterday. You said you were sorry, I said I was sorry, and that was it.”
“No, it’s not.” Gusty shook her head sadly. “Mom told me last night that just saying you’re sorry isn’t enough. You have to really, really mean it. And I just wanted you to know that I really, really mean it. So…we’re still friends, right?”
“I…I think we are,” Blueblood said, his voice hushed. “I…I never really had a friend like you, so I don’t know if that’s how it works.”
Gusty gasped. She had never realized just how deep her friend’s problems really ran. “B-But you still sounded so sad all day. It looked like you didn’t even want to have fun. And that’s why Celestia invented birthday parties!”
Blueblood hung his head, just barely fighting off the urge to share the story of Luna’s first birthday party. “It’s…It’s not your fault. I just had a lot of things go wrong, and…”
“And were you crying just now?”
Blueblood’s head shot up so fast it almost became completely dislodged from the rest of his body. “Y-You heard that?”
“Well, not all of it.” Gusty hunched over even further, as if to bury her head in the dirt. “I heard something about you doing some bad things, but I didn’t really hear anything else.” She motioned her nose towards the bag. “Look, I brought some of the candy from the piñata. I even grabbed some of the jawbreakers before Lofty’s mom started hiding them.”
Blueblood just stared at the bag for a few more moments before finally walking over, his head still hunched over to cover as much evidence of his crying as possible. Once he was about a body’s length away, he sat down on his haunches, reached into the bag, and clumsily pulled out a single orange jawbreaker. Gusty did the same, only with a watermelon-flavored hard candy. After a few more tense seconds, both foals tossed their respective treats into their mouths.
In an instant, it all made sense to Blueblood. Sugar flowed through every inch of his blood, sending him off to a state of pure euphoria. Even better, he was with somepony that actually seemed to actually want to be friends with him, and not just so they could use him to pull themselves up the social ladder. For just that moment, his self-doubts and hatred seemed to wash away.
From the other side of the bushes, Celestia smiled. Congratulations, Blueblood. You’re starting to figure it out. Now it’s time I did something to help…
---------
Luna glanced back at the bushes, just in case an angry Alicorn filly discovered a boomerang in the underbrush and lobbed it at her head. Granted, abandoning the two to their fate wasn’t the best thing she could have done, but she was still able to see them. Besides, Celestia is better qualified to console Blueblood. I will let her have her fun, and if need be will just return like nothing had happened and sort this matter out.
“Um…Princess Luna?”
Luna turned slightly to her right to find Ruby standing there, slowly refilling her mug with cider. “Is ‘Leon’ okay?”
“He shall be fine,” Luna replied. “Foals always get scraped and minor injuries. Learning to work through them is just a part of growing up.”
“I know, but…when he was hit like that…” She sighed. “You know, I did kick him once, and I hated myself for it afterwards. I know he tried to hurt Lofty, but right now he really is just a colt.”
Luna shrugged and finished the contents of her drink container. “Nonetheless, he will be brought to justice for his crimes. I have no intentions of doing so while he is in this state, however. Trust me, your daughter shall be safe from monsters like him.”
Ruby’s mouth went slack. She couldn’t believe what was coming out of her princess’ lips. She had seen her unleash her wrath upon Blueblood only a few hours after assuming office, but that was when he was a slimy, manipulative adult. Now as a colt, he seemed…different. Nonetheless, she shrugged, downed her foamy cider, and wandered off to join the rest of the adults.
The Night Mare was just about to refill her cup when she felt something pull on her tail. Despite the sharp pain coming from her hindquarters, however, she still smiled as she thought of the pony that could be brash enough to perform such a thing. No doubt some brave little foal wants to speak to their fair princess, or they wish to prove their courage by confronting the fearsome Mistress of the Night. She took a sip as another tug came. Well, why leave my audience waiting?
She turned about…and her smile soon vanished as she saw Celestia spit out the tip of her tail. The befuddled stares of the other adults certainly failed to brighten Luna’s spirits. “Yes, Sunlight?”
Celestia opened her mouth to speak, only to stop briefly to cough out the mouthful of stars she had accidentally swallowed. “Auntie Luna, would you please let me see my present? I think I misspelled something.”
----------
Fillies and colts of all ages and sizes lined up at the table at the siren’s call of cake. Lofty herself took her position at the head, her wings extended and her mouth beaming like a devil at the thought of her oncoming treat. Behind them all, Ruby and Vantage lifted the cake up with heads and began to precariously carry it over, each hoof step being made with the upmost care and consideration. Luna, meanwhile, just sipped her fruit punch in consternation. I could have simply levitated it over. Why must our little ponies insist on doing things the difficult way?
Once they were both in position at the table, the mother and father slowly lowered themselves down until the cake platter was resting on the table itself. With every passing moment, Lofty’s anticipation for the sweet confection swelled, but it had nothing on Celestia’s. Indeed, were it not for Luna preemptively standing right above her and shaking her head, the Little Princess would have been the first one with her plate out.
Blueblood, on the other hoof, simply stared perplexed at the cake. He had seen plenty of such treats in his life, and had even been known to enjoy such sickeningly sweet treats on occasion. And yet, there was something decidedly different about this one. It’s so…square and plain. Where are the multiple layers? Why does this frosting look so flat and simplistic? I’ve never seen a cake like this.
Ruby reached down into her bags and pulled out a large candle shaped into the form of a number “6.” With a fast twist of the head, she plopped the candle into the center of the cake, while Vantage struck a match and lit the wick. After successfully putting out the burning stick in his mouth before he singed his tongue (again), everypony clapped their hooves together and broke into song:
♫ Happy birthday to you! ♫
♫ Happy birthday to you! ♫
♫ Happy birthday, dear Lofty! ♫
♫ Happy birthday to yooooooooou! ♫
Sensing her hidden cue, Lofty took a deep breath and blew hard on the candle. The flame’s brief moment of existence vanished like, for lack of a better term, a candle in the wind, and her successful victory over the stationary candle elected a round of stomps and claps alike. Pumpernickel and Seamstress started cutting away at opposite sides, trimming the cake into perfect squares for Sourdough, Vantage and Ruby to start placing on plates and passing out. Before long, every filly, colt and adult had a slice, with a couple of pieces still left for later.
Blueblood stared at his piece for a few moments, weighing his options for handling this new dessert he was being handed. All it took was the sight of his aunt’s plate, now completely empty of cake save for the massive blob of frosting and crumbs sticking to the fur around her mouth, to finally solidify exactly what he should do. He took in a deep breath, leaned over, and started munching as politely as he could, taking off a small chunk at a time until the whole slice was gone. By the time he was finished, every single other pony had long since swallowed theirs, leaving everypony to stare at the colt as he took his sweet time.
Once he was finally done, the party finally shifted to the most important part: the gifts.
Lofty’s squeal of glee echoed throughout the entire block as the adults slowly ferried the pile of presents over to the table for all to see. By the time Ruby handed her the first brightly-wrapped box, she was almost ready to start flying circles around the park. Her mouth was literally inches away from the box’s papery surface when her mother’s hoof plopped itself right in front of her face. “Not so fast, dear. You have to read who it’s from, first.”
Her greed temporarily stopped, Lofty groaned and turned to the small tag. “It’s from Ribbon.”
The blue Unicorn broke out a big smile at the sound of her name, along with some affectionate nuzzles from her parents. Now free to indulge in her vices, Lofty gripped the wrapping paper in her teeth and shredded every inch of it. Not even a ravenous Timberwolf could match the speed with which she revealed her illustrious, rectangle-shaped gift. She gasped with sheer joy as she stared at the cover. “The Amazing Amethyst Board Game?! This is so AWESOME!” She shook the box a few more times just to make sure it wasn’t a hallucination, then hugged it tightly against her. Everypony let out a stomp, even Blueblood, if only to belong.
And so the process continued. From Gusty, a baseball helmet. From Buttons, some colored pencils and coloring books. A few children’s books. A sweater. A few records. Some action figures. And of course, aviator goggles and jackets. Lots of aviator goggles and jackets. The snickers from the non-Pegasi was testament enough as to who thought that idea was funny.
Finally, the last two gifts remaining were Celestia’s and Blueblood’s. Despite her previous zeal, Lofty scratched her head in confusion as she tried to decide between the two. I can get Princess Celestia’s open first, but then I’d have to end it on stupid Blueblood’s. But if I open his now, I have to suffer through whatever dumb thing he got me.
“Um…Lofty?” asked Vantage. “You still have two presents left.”
Snapping back to reality, Lofty finally made her decision. She reached out and grabbed Celestia’s gift bag. She stuck one hoof into the top, sliding it along until the tape was all undone, and then turned the whole thing over. Once the tissue paper had finally fell out, a collection of various Daring-Do action figures slid onto the table. Lofty’s eyes lit up as she sifted through the various figures, ranging from the Super Action Derring to a few from the short-lived Hockey League series. By the time she turned to Celestia, her face was practically beaming with joy. “Oh, thank you thank you thank you! These are great!”
Blueblood, meanwhile, just watched the scene in total confusion. When he could take no more, he finally leaned towards Celestia and whispered, “Wait, I thought I got that for her.”
“You did,” she whispered back, “but after what happened back there, I switched my present with yours.”
“Why?”
All Celestia did was nod and wink, which usually amounted to, “Shut up and watch. It’ll all work out.” Sighing, Blueblood pulled himself back to his usual sitting position, if only to get a better view of Gusty giving Celestia the evil eye.
“And finally, we have Leon’s,” Lofty said in a low, unenthused voice. With all the muster of a tranquilized pony just about to have a root canal, she pulled the top open and lifted out a small, golden-framed photograph. “Oh look, a picture. How…”
Then she actually saw the photo. It was of a yellow, pink-maned Pegasus surrounded by a cadre of woodland critters, all of whom looked far happier about the picture than she. And there, in the very far corner, behind some wall-eyed pony that was hiding in the chicken coop, was her signature.
Fluttershy.
Every single nerve in Lofty’s brain went crazy instantaneously. She let out the happiest scream a newly-minted six-year-old could muster and fell straight to the ground. Her fanfillyism was so great that she couldn’t even keep her wings tucked in, and her parents’ attempts to calm her down only added fuel to the fire in her soul.
Blueblood’s jaw dropped as he saw the reaction to “his” gift. Celestia, meanwhile, just smiled and leaned back in smug victory. I’m so glad Twilight was able to convince her to do that. It was really wonderful that such a shy pony was willing to let herself be photographed for her princess’ friend.
Finally, after about three minutes of unrestrained insanity, Lofty calmed down enough to canter up to Blueblood and hug him. “Oh…THANK YOU! THIS IS THE GREATEST PRESENT ANYPONY HAS EVER GIVEN ME!”
“H-Happy to…oblidge…” Blueblood croaked.
The entire table exploded into a chorus of cheers, claps and stomps. Even Ruby and Vantage seemed to smile at the colt’s thoughtful gift, even as the mother of the family still regarded him with a small measure of suspicion. In fact, the only pony that wasn’t celebrating was Luna, who just knew that her letting Celestia look at those presents caused this.
Celestia smiled and winked at Blueblood again. Another job well done.
----------
By the time they had reached the palace, Celestia was just barely coming down from all the sugar she had consumed, as she succumbed more and more to the oncoming hangover with every passing step. Luna, meanwhile, was simply happy to be out of that awkward situation and back to far simpler tasks like ruling a country. Blueblood himself was just so tired that he trotted off to his room without even being asked.
The colt let out a small yawn, then climbed onto his bed and stared out the window. He couldn’t make out much of anything from this room, especially after the Pegasus guards had bolted new bars to keep him from escaping again, but through just a tiny corner of the frame he could see the ponies of Canterlot trotting about their merry business like they had not a care in the world. Well, they obviously had something in the world to care about, or they wouldn’t have been out and about like that, but all that was beside the point.
Blueblood leaned down against the windowsill, his thoughts inevitably returning to the day’s events. Well…that wasn’t too bad, besides me losing it again. But what did Aunt Celestia think that picture would…
His eyes widened as realization slinked its way through his brain. Wait…that’s it! I have to abandon the ways of my parents! I must be the EXACT OPPOSITE of the Blueblood of old! THAT will get me back to normal!
He slinked back on his bed. But that won’t solve everything. I need to find something to get me started. Somepony that can show me how to grow beyond the pony I am…
----------
Luna was about halfway through the latest reports from the Royal Treasury when a wisp of smoke slowly made its way through the window. After a few seconds of twirling in front of her, the sparkly construct merged together in a bright flash before transforming into a scroll. Her telekinesis went to work almost immediately, snagging the scroll before it could touch the ground and unfurling it in one swift motion:
“Your Royal Highness Princess Luna,
I simply cannot express how overjoyed I am with your request, and have already finished a whole ensemble for your approval. I know you only ordered one dress, but a royal pony such as you cannot possibly have a wardrobe that does not match perfectly, right? I even managed to procure some wonderful shadowsilk from all the way in Neighpon, and hoofmade the gold silk myself. I have followed your exact measurements to the letter, and I am certain you will love these.
I shall be bringing the dresses to Canterlot by train tonight, and should be at the castle mid-tomorrow morning. I cannot wait to show you everything I have created.
- Rarity,
Carousel Boutique of Ponyville”
An evil grin spread across Luna’s face. She could tell from their last encounter that Rarity and Blueblood had a history, one that she could exploit, and all she had to do was put the two together. I hope you enjoyed the party, Blueblood, because after tomorrow you will be wishing you had never been born.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” Fanfiction
-AND-
A Wholly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
It was another morning of blood, sweat and tears for the Royal Guard, as well as Blueblood. By the time Shining Armor had put everypony through their morning paces, every inch of their bodies were drenched in all manner of foul-smelling liquids, from horse sweat to some sort of icky black tar in the case of Obstruction. The colt’s entire body felt like a tinfoil figure slowly being crushed in a black hole.
Once again, a few new faces had joined the morning crew, prompting Shining Armor to repeat the same story as before. Once he was through how awesome it was to serve in the Royal Guard, he and the ponies in attendance shared a final salute before breaking away for their duties. This time, however, Blueblood knew better than to stick around longer than he had to, and quickly began galloping towards the nearest door back into the castle proper.
He was about five feet from his destination when he ran into a solid wall of flesh and metal. The impact sent the colt flying back on his rump, the straps of his costume coming undone on impact. As he rubbed his stinging snout and forehead, he just barely managed to make out a trio of guards, a Unicorn and two Pegasi, standing over him. Their eyes looked Blueblood over with a great degree of skepticism.
That would have been bad enough, but once Blueblood’s vision completely returned, he was able to recognize the Unicorn.
It was the same pony that had awoken him that first morning. The one that had escorted him to Princess Celestia’s room so she could begin his humiliation. The one he had offended in some way. And as far as he was concerned, he could have horribly wronged all three in some way. “C-Can I help you?”
The three looked amongst each other for a few moments, silently communicating some sort of message before turning back to the frightened colt. “Well, Prince Blueblood,” said the Unicorn, “the guys and I have been talking, and…”
“We…think that Captain Armor is taking things a little bit too far,” said the left Pegasus.
Blueblood slowly hoisted himself back to his hooves, grunting in pain with every move of his muscles, before turning his attention back to the guards. His mouth hung slightly in disbelief, his eyes widening. “What? B-But I thought the guard…”
“Hated you?” said the right Pegasus. His eyes narrowed as he bit on his lower lip. “Yeah, we still don’t like you. You did call my wife a turnip farmer.”
“And you did tell everypony I was a coltcuddler,” said the left Pegasus.
“And…well…” The Unicorn stopped, his face twisting in confusion. “Actually, I don’t think you ever did anything to me, b-but I’ve heard all about the stuff you’ve pulled and, to be frank, you’re a screwed-up pony.”
Blueblood’s mood, which had only just recently been elevated, quickly sank back down. The colt fell back on his haunches, his little eyes quivering with terror. “B-But…I thought you said…”
The three guards, feeling at least a little shame at scaring a small foal, looked about each other with guilt-ridden faces before turning back to face the colt. The right Pegasus cleared his throat before continuing. “What we’re saying is, we don’t agree with what Shining Armor’s been doing. He really seems to have it out for you, more than any of the other guardponies we’ve found.” He scratched at the back of his armor. “I mean, it’s just not like him. Normally he’s actually a pretty nice, easy-going guy.”
“And you’ve managed to put up with the drills and the exercises this long,” said the Unicorn. “A few of the other ponies were there when you attended the Academy, and…well, they said that there was no way anypony could make you do any of the stuff you’re doing now back then. So…I guess what we’re saying is…”
“Atten-HUT!”
All three guards immediately snapped back into attention, their bodies becoming as rigid as the statues that decorated the castle gardens. Blueblood, sensing his approaching doom, quickly turned to run towards the door, but was frozen mid-step by a telekinetic field. To the colt’s horror, Shining Armor trotted up alongside him, shaking his head in disappointment. “Private Blueblood, did you really expect to be excused from the field without an inspection?”
The magic around Blueblood’s jaw dissipated just enough for the pony to talk. “Private? I thought I wasn’t an actual guard.”
“While you’re out here, you are still…technically a guard.” Shining rolled his eyes. “Now, yesterday had extenuating circumstances, but you’re here today, and it’s time for inspection. Now, present yourself!”
Blueblood’s body slid and shifted against his will, his tiny strength being insufficient in the face of the Captain’s magic. Before long, he was propped up in a perfectly rigid stance, his eyes staring blankly ahead. Shining Armor looked his little charge over, shook his head in disapproval at his disheveled armor, and finally released his magic, sending the colt splaying out on the ground. “Disgraceful, Private. This armor is dirtied and damaged beyond repair.”
The colt started to pull himself back up, only to find himself being lifted up from behind once again. “Still, I guess there’s enough in the budget to get you another set. I will have it ready for you tomorrow morning.”
Blueblood’s eyes widened with surprise as his hooves were set back on the ground, gently this time. He slowly turned to the smiling Captain. “Y-You mean you aren’t planning to make me run another hundred laps? Or do push-ups until nightfall?”
Shining Armor chuckled for exactly two-point-six seconds at the colt’s accusation. “I’ll let it slide this time. But I expect you to take better care of this one, okay? Now, you’re dismissed. Go report for breakfast.”
The colt smiled, threw a salute, and then retreated, leaving Shining Armor and his newfound potential allies in the guard behind.
----------
By the time the train rattled and rolled into the station, Rarity was already wide awake and almost hopping in place with anticipation.
Her entire life, she had dreamed of a moment such as this. Ever since her mother had first taught her how to sow, and she had learned about the fashion industry from the other dressmakers and tailors in Equestria, she had dreamed of being noticed and recognized for her talents by ponies as high up as Canterlot’s Royal Court itself. And even better, and despite her parents, teachers and friends constantly telling her that the one princess they knew about at the time never wore clothing, a filly could only dream of a single complimentary comment from somepony as majestic as her. And now, Princess Luna wanted her dresses!
The very moment the doors opened, she darted out onto the platform, boxes upon boxes of clothing and material floating behind her. Ponies from all around dodged for cover as the daydreaming mare pushed and shoved past them without a single care in the world, humming a merry tune. By the time she had made it onto the main streets, there was not a single thing that could ruin her day.
After all, today she was going to make a dream come true…
----------
Despite his pained muscles and morning exhaustion, Blueblood seemed to have a small skip in his step as he made his way to the breakfast table. Not only had he managed to worm his way into the good graces of a hoof full of guards, but he also knew just the right course to take to get back to normal. All I have to do is be the opposite of who you were before! Oh, Princess Celestia will just love this plan!
Once he was a few steps away from his seat, Blueblood leaped up like a frog and landed butt-first on the cushion. Celestia herself was already seated across from him, an adult once again, and Luna was still in the middle of her morning paper. Both had cereal-filled bowls laying in front of them; the elder’s bowl was almost empty, while the latter seemed content to ignore the flakey bits of cornmeal. In any case, both adult ponies looked up in surprise at the sudden noise.
“Good morning, Your Highnesses!” the deposed royal chirped. “I trust that Equestria is still safe and stable this fine morning?”
The sheer exuberance in the colt’s voice was music to Celestia’s illustrious ears. She smiled in between bites of her cereal. “Good morning, nephew. I can promise you, Equestria’s destruction isn’t scheduled for today, so I think we’ll be fine another week. I take it you’re over yesterday’s…incident?”
To the surprise of both Alicorns, Blueblood’s grin only grew. “Why, yes! I now know exactly what I have to do!”
Luna nodded along, if only to keep Celestia’s suspicions to a minimum. “And what, exactly, are you figuring this time?”
“The problem lies with my upbringing! My parents instilled false values into my brain from birth, and I must do everything in my power to pull myself out of this pit they dug me in!”
And in that exact moment, Celestia’s elation deflated like a helium balloon. “Um…things like this aren’t…”
“Actually, I think it is a wonderful plan.” Luna rolled up her newspaper and set it down on the table. “And I do believe I can help you with this.”
Blueblood felt a small tug in his heart at Luna’s words. He gulped down the massive lump in his throat, coughed a bit in pain, and finally muttered an answer. “Wh-Why are you helping me now?”
Luna chuckled slightly, sending the colt even further into despair. “If this is about that oatmeal incident from a few days before, I apologize. Celestia and I have spoken since then, and I have promised to make sure you get all the help you need.” The mare hopped to her hooves. “I shall return momentarily with a complete list of instructions. Just follow what they say, and you will have proven yourself worthy in no time at all.”
Blueblood leaned back in his seat, his eyes never leaving Luna’s. Every synapse of his mind told him not to trust the Alicorn who had seemingly dedicated herself to ruining him completely. At the same time, however, any source of assistance could not be turned down easily. “W-Well…if it’s not too much trouble…”
No sooner had the first half-syllable left his lips than Luna departed, her hooves crackling like thunder against the castle’s marble floor. Celestia opened her mouth to correct her nephew, but before she could mutter a single word, her sister had returned, a parchment scroll levitating behind her. Only the fresh ink still settling on the material made it clear that the words within were written only just recently.
Luna smirked at her nephew’s total befuddlement. “And here you go, dear Blueblood. Take this scroll back to your quarters and study it well, for within it lays the key to your salvation.” Blueblood stared at the scroll stupefied, prompting a groan from the Moon Princess. “Just take it back to your room and read it. Everything will make sense once you do.”
Celestia, on the other hoof, just eyed her sister in suspicion. “Sister, surely you don’t think…”
Alas, her words of caution were soon drowned out by the squeals of a triumphant colt. With a tiny cry of victory, he grabbed the parchment and darted away. Once he was gone, Luna slowly sat back down and grinned evilly. “I knew he would take the easy way out.”
“Luna…what are you doing?” Celestia said with no small bit of a snarl.
The younger sister gasped in mock horror and placed a hoof over her heart. “Celestia! I am simply doing what you requested of me! How could you possibly doubt your little sister’s intentions?”
Before Celestia could whip out a verbal rebuttal, Luna’s face downshifted and melted into that of a sobbing puppy. The elder pony’s eyes watered as she stared into the deepest, cutest parts of her little sister’s face, stopping only when her own countenance threatened to reveal the turmoil spinning about within. “Very well. We shall speak of this later, but for the time being, please don’t disturb Blueblood. I think having some time to reflect will be good for him.”
Luna nodded. “Understood. I promise not to do anything to that little colt.” Not that I was going to do anything, anyway.
“I’m glad.” Celestia raised the bowl to her lips and slurped down the remaining milk, totally ignoring the disgusted attention of her sister. “Now, are you sure you can handle today? Perhaps I should at least handle the negotiations…”
Luna sighed. “Celestia, we agreed to this, remember? I manage the day every now and then, while you take over the night. Today is my first daytime court since…that time, and I promise I shall make it perfect. And what shall you be doing with your free time this morning?”
Celestia shrugged. “I have a few things planned. Nothing really important at the moment, though. Just remember that if you need anything, I’m one summons away.”
Luna nodded. “I shall remember that. Now, if you excuse me, I must finish breakfast. Our advisors have scheduled a morning meeting, and I must not keep them waiting.”
Celestia nodded in agreement, climbed back to her hooves, and slowly trotted away. Luna watched her leave, looked about to make sure nopony else was watching, and telekinetically lifted her spoon out of the bowl. The metal instrument tilted, sending the milk and flakes riding within back into the mixture below. Sighing, the Princess willed the spoon to the side, grabbed the bowl with both hooves, and lifted it up to her mouth. In one quick motion, the entire meal slid down Luna’s throat, draining the bowl completely save for a few stuck-on cereal pieces and dispensing a good deal of white liquid and soggy brown flakes onto Luna’s face and neck.
The Princess lowered the bowl, telekinetically summoned a towel, and began to wipe her countenance…
“A proper princess never slurps.”
Luna’s entire body froze in a panic. From somewhere deep down the hall, she could hear Celestia’s laughter slowly fade…
----------
Luna arrived at the meeting room just as her advisors and visiting representatives entered. The group silently nodded at each other, the non-royals bowing towards their Princess as they did so, and then took their seats. As when Luna had last taken over Celestia’s daytime duties, Ruby Dream sat at attention, quill and parchment ready to take notes.
The Princess’s eyes scanned the room, taking in all of the ponies around her. Most of them were her usual advisors and appointees, including her Finance Minister, Foreign Affairs Secretary, and a hoofful of others. In addition were a few new faces, included a Colonel from the Equestrian military, a dignitary from Roam, and a teacher from Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. It was already shaping up to be a nice, full day.
“Gentleponies, I thank you for your prompt attendance,” Luna said. “I understand that we all have other responsibilities today, and I do not wish to hold you here any longer than I have to.” Everypony nodded in acknowledgment. “Now Miss Dream, would you mind reading the notes from Princess Celestia’s meeting yesterday morning?”
Ruby nodded and pulled up one of the nearby piles of paper. “Let’s see… The Finance Minister finally gave his support for the annual budget, which Celestia then sent to your desk for approval. Hoofington petitioned for extended funding for their new concert hall, and has been placed under further review to verify the solvency of the investment. And representatives from Fillydelphia have reported that the flooding has subsided completely, food carts are making it back into the city, and most of the remaining Parasprites have been cleared out completely.”
She flipped a page. “After that, the meeting was excused early so she could prepare for…” The mare paused briefly before lying on the behalf of her bosses. “A very important meeting with an old associate.”
Everypony nodded and whispered acknowledgments towards the attendant. The mare, still unused to all the extra attention her new position brought with it, blushed and shrank into her forehooves. The noise only stopped when Luna tapped her hoof over the table, signaling a return to order. “Very well. I apologize for the abruptness yesterday, but alas, that meeting was…very important.” She sighed. “In any case, we have a lot of business to discuss, so shall we begin?”
----------
The two guards at the front gate watched in stone silence as a single young mare came trotting up, several packages floating behind her. Fortunately, she managed to stop just in time to avoid their razor-sharp wings. “State your business.”
“Good morning, sirs,” said the newcomer. “My name is Rarity, and Princess Luna has graciously placed an order for a few dresses from my boutique in Ponyville. I believe she is expecting me?”
The guards looked at each other, their eyes full of suspicion, before turning back to the unicorn. Rarity’s nerves shook as ever-gnawing terror gradually spread through her central nervous system, but she still stood firm. After all, she had a job to do.
After almost five agonizing minutes, the guards nodded towards each other. The guard on the right spread his wings and took flight towards the main castle…
----------
The Colonel pointed out the last few pages of his report. “And as you can see, enlistment numbers are up, so despite the low retention numbers, we still have more than enough ponies to keep up our standing forces.”
Luna nodded along as she sorted through the five hundred-page report. Even with just an ancillary glance, she could picture more than a few dozen ways to shave the entire thing down to about a hundred pages total; alas, adherence to her royal duties outweighed her desire to not spend three hours reading a report that would not deviate from the last five dozen she had glanced through since her return.
“Thank you, Colonel Thunderstruck.” She gave a quick nod of her head before floating up the next set of documents. “Now, I would like to concede the floor to Gilded Chest, our Financial Advisor, for a report on our country’s exports and…”
A loud knock emerged from the other side of the doorway. The echo bounced from one wall to the next, creating a deafening sound and causing nearly everypony in the room to jump in surprise. Luna in particular could feel the stars in her mane sizzle and frazzle as she almost chocked on her tongue. With a frustrated sneer, she growled, “Enter.”
After a few seconds, the door slowly creaked open, revealing one of the guards from the front gate. “Princess Luna, I apologize for the disturbance, but there is a pony outside waiting for you. She says she’s from...Ponyville, I believe.”
Luna’s ears perked up at the name, prompting a conniving smile to spread across her lips. “Very well. Have her escorted to my chambers at once. I will attend to her once our business here is concluded.”
The guard bowed and turned around, the door slamming loudly behind him. After a few seconds of silently cursing the very concept of acoustics, Luna shuffled the papers yet again and turned back to her advisors and guests. “My apologizes for the interruption, gentleponies. Now, we were discussing our economic situation, correct?”
----------
Luna was astonished by Rarity’s speed and professionalism. By the time she had finished her meeting, sent Ruby Dream to prepare for the court, and returned to her chambers, the dressmaker had managed to pull mirrors into position, levitate dress boxes into place for easy retrieval, float her pincushion to her side, and even position the window blinds to give just the right amount of light for their purposes. And all this without so much as a simple prompt. After so many fashion shows and modeling jobs, these preparations came to the Unicorn as easily as breathing.
Rarity popped open the first box just as Luna reached her spot in front of the full-body mirror. “You know, so few ponies even have mirrors like those anymore. I had to order my own through a catalog, and Celestia knows our mailmare has a tendency to misplace packages from time to time.” Her mood darkened. “It’s been five months, and I’m still waiting for that new bedpost.”
Luna smiled and rolled her eyes. The mirror was one of the few things from that prank that she was willing to keep. It was definitely an improvement over the ones in the bathroom, and she still couldn’t get over how wonderful being able to swivel something around was. When she was donating the costumes, she just couldn’t bear to…
No, Luna! Focus on the task at hoof!
“So…how go things in Ponyville?”
Rarity hemmed and hawed as she levitated out an onyx-colored saddle with purple fringes. “Oh, nothing too out of the usual. Twilight and Rainbow Dash have been busying themselves with organizing the start of winter, especially after all the disastrous ones we’ve had the last few years.” She gave a little laugh as she adjusted the straps. “Now, tell me what you think. And please, don’t hold back. I want the honest truth.”
Luna sighed and took a sideways glance in Rarity’s direction. The poor Unicorn’s face was twisted into a heaving pile of worry and anguish. Her upper lip seemed determined to devour her entire chin, her eyes were practically exploding from her head, and her mane seemed to flatten from the sheer amount of perspiration her stress was producing. Any sign of disapproval, no matter how small, would almost certainly end with Rarity collapsing into a well of despair and self-loathing that she may never pull herself out from again.
Sighing, the Princess began the time-honored political tradition of twisting the truth until it resembled a pretzel caught in a fifteen-cart pile-up. “It’s perfectly fine, Miss Rarity. I have not worn a saddle in a long time, but I believe this will do nicely when I next require one.”
Rarity’s mood perked back up almost immediately. Her voice seemed to perk up a few octaves as she levitated the saddle off and began floating over the next outfit: a cloak. “Now, this one is more formal, something built for a state function or dinner.”
“Like the Grand Galloping Gala?”
The minute the words struck Rarity, a tiny nerve under her eye twitched like it had just been injected with pure caffeine. It quivered for a few moments, as if trying to discharge Rarity’s entire eyeball, before falling still once again. “Why, yes! Surely somepony with your grace and poise would become the ‘Belle of the Ball’ with such a wonderful ensemble!”
The telekinetically-held garment gradually draped itself across Luna’s backside before tying the ends around the Alicorn’s royal neck. The outfit itself was made of purple silk, making it hardly fit for actual protection from the cold, and yet fashionable enough to become part of any number of outfits that matched the color scheme. The hem was embroidered with a gold silk, with several small, red gemstones cut and fashioned across the length of the border. Luna smiled. “It looks lovely, Miss Rarity. You have done a most excellent job with this order.”
Rarity’s joy doubled in magnitude yet again. She had come expecting to be shot down, and the Princess was truly loving her work! “T-Thank you! Princess Luna, you don’t know how much this means to me! Why, I haven’t had so much fun designing a dress since…”
The mare froze, her face contorting slightly from frustration as she held her tongue. Luna, however, knew exactly where to strike. “Since the Gala?”
“Y-Yes…” Rarity squinted her eyes and focused her attention on the ground, all in a desperate bid to keep the Princess from seeing how upset she truly was with that memory. “I took great care in designing outfits for my friends and I, all so we could look our best as we lived our greatest night ever, and what happened? Twilight never got to speak to Princess Celestia, Applejack wasted thousands of bits worth of apples, Fluttershy wrote a letter of apology to every animal in the garden, Pinkie Pie got a very ugly letter from some cousin of hers, Rainbow Dash was banned from all Wonderbolts shows for six months, and…” Her fur seemed to darken as her own humiliation came back to the forefront of her mind. “That nephew of yours behaved like a common brigand and ruined my entire night.”
“And that made you angry?”
The grinding of Rarity’s teeth was answer enough. Luna smirked, her plan coming ever closer to fruition. “I can understand your frustration with Blueblood. Perhaps, if you run into him again, you could have a hoof in straightening him out?”
Rarity said nothing, instead opting to slowly raise her eyes until she could just barely catch Luna’s. There was no need to say anything. “Very well. Now, shall we continue? I cannot wait to see more of these wonderful outfits you designed.”
----------
When he had awoken that morning, Blueblood had assumed that everything was going to be hard work today. After all, he had to itemize and quantify every single characteristic about himself before he could figure out how to invert those qualities into something his aunt would find worthwhile. And now, thanks to Luna’s sudden change of heart, he was in possession of all the answers. Once again, he could avoid some of the messier aspects of work and rise to the occasion.
Now, all he had to do was just follow this checklist.
Alright, let’s start from the top.
He traced his hoof across the first line on his list: “Realize that the ancient traditions you were taught are no longer valid.” I think I already did that.
Step two: “Attempt to eat foods not grown specifically for ponies of your station.” Like that slop from the Gala? I…think I shall do that later.
Step three: “Acknowledge your faults.” I did that. I acknowledged that everything was my parent’s fault. If they hadn’t done what they did…
Step four: “Treat ponies with respect.” But respect should be earned, so…
The colt moaned and slammed his head into the desk. So far, everything on his list seemed to be in perfect order. He had already done everything he would have done…
Wait.
The colt growled and slammed his head up and down repeatedly. I’m still thinking like myself! I can’t do that! I can’t just…assign blame and pass the responsibility to somepony else! I…
He was officially stuck.
Moaning in defeat, the colt slunk down, sliding all the way out of his seat until he was just a mass of white fur and a horn on the floor. It doesn’t matter what I do. I just…don’t know how to do any of these things. I can’t stop being Prince Blueblood!
Growling, the colt held his head between both forehooves. “I…I can’t not be myself!”
----------
Rarity floated the last dress back into the box and set it aside, all while Luna stretched her limbs and began to relax. Once the garment was safely put away, the dressmaker floated every one of her creations onto Luna’s dresser, just barely avoiding a few tiny caramelized apple stains. “I…take it these are all to your liking?”
Luna turned to Rarity and smiled. A shiver ran up the length of the Unicorn’s spine, but she still stayed silent. “Very much so. I apologize if I disrupted any of your regular business with such a demanding order…”
Rarity waved both forehooves in a frantic fashion. “Oh, there was no trouble at all! After all, I am a resident of Equestria, and it is my duty…I mean, privilege…oh, that’s not right. It’s…an honor to work with the royal household, that’s all. I never imagined that I…I mean…”
“It is quite all right.” Luna’s reassurances could not have been timed better; Rarity was within moments of having a Twilight Sparkle-inspired aneurysm. “Now, how much are you asking for these garments?”
Rarity smiled, even as her brain continued to spark and crackle in terror. “Oh, never you mind! Consider them a gift!”
Luna sighed and closed her eyes before trotting over to her dresser. Her magic clung onto one of the drawer handles and pulled it open, revealing, amongst other things, a coin pouch. “I insist on paying, Miss Rarity.” The pouch levitated out of the drawer and opened, revealing a good number of bits. Rarity barely fought off the urge to flip out over the sheer amount of money within.
Out the corner of her eye, Luna saw her guest’s face light up. Perfect. “Actually, if you were interested in making some more bits, I do have another request.”
The dressmaker’s eyes doubled, no, tripled in size at the proposal. “Do you even have to ask? Of course I’d love to!” There was a brief pause as she realized what she had just said, followed by the inevitable panic and desire to save face. “I mean…it’s not about the bits, but…I do love you- I mean, working with you, and…”
A single, glittering horseshoe came down and touched the Unicorn on the nose. Rarity broke from her blind rambling and looked up at the smiling Princess Luna. Her entire face turned beet red as she pulled away. “M-My apologies, Princess Luna. I just…”
“I understand completely,” said Luna. “Still, if it is not too much trouble, would you mind staying a few hours more and tailor another outfit? I want it to be a special gift.”
Once again, Rarity was struck speechless. All she could do was mutter some inarticulate squeaks and nod her head like a foal that had just discovered sugar. Luna just kept on smiling and gave Rarity a little pat on the head in acknowledgment of her service. “I am glad you agree. Now, I must know, how good are you with suits?”
In an instant, the mare was out of her euphoria zone and back in cold, hard Equestria. The light in her eyes dimmed as she shook the foam off her lips. “A suit? As in, for a stallion?”
That would technically be the truth. “It is actually for a colt, a young member of the royal household. He has been having some difficulties lately, and I wanted to surprise him with a new set of clothes. He has…always had an interest in formal gatherings, you understand, and my sister and I agreed that he should have a suit of his own for the next time he attends.”
Rarity tapped her chin, her eyes narrowing and lips curling into a small pout. “Well, I mostly specialize in dresses and mare’s clothing, but…I have tailored a suit from time to time. Never one for a colt, mind you, but it shouldn’t be too different from a filly.” Her eyes widened. “B-But I don’t have all of my supplies! I brought the pins and tape in case we needed to make adjustments, but…”
“Down in on the first floor of the castle, away from where most of our guests visit, there is a small clothing shop. It is closed for the weekend, but I shall order the guards to allow you entry. Inside should be everything you need.”
Rarity grinned. “My goodness, you’ve truly thought of everything.”
Luna’s face suddenly became far more stern. “Now, I must be honest with you. He is a difficult foal, and I would not be saddened if you had to discipline him to keep him still.”
Rarity sighed. “Well…that does make things more troublesome. But still, I am always at the service of my Princesses, and if this is what you ask, then so be it. Just tell me where I can find him, and I’ll get to work right away.”
Luna’s frown turned back into a smile. “I knew I could rely on you. He is currently residing in the Castle. I will have one of the guards escort you to his quarters.”
----------
Okay, let’s go over this again…
Blueblood’s pint-sized hooves scrapped across the floor as he paced from one side of the room to the other. Despite his low height and light weight, the constant clopping was enough to start making a groove in the floor. His brow rustled with ever-growing frustration. I know I have to do the opposite of what made me the pony I used to be. But how do I get to that point? Changing a pony’s personality is so…
His hooves skidded to a halt. Wait, that’s it! I shouldn’t be focusing on my mind right now! All I have to do is change my body! If I was the most attractive pony in Celestia’s court, then I must make myself as ugly as possible! A few boxes of donuts, and I shall…
His incredibly pointless (and stupid) plotting came to a complete halt as he heard a loud knock on his door. Slowly, the colt pulled himself towards the door, only for the entire thing to come crashing open on its own. Screaming in surprise, Blueblood hopped into the air, flailed about in total defiance of gravity for about five seconds, and then finally galloped onto his bed faster than a tiger chasing a frightened rabbit.
“He~llo!”
Blueblood’s ears turned into little spikes. He knew that voice…
And then he saw the Unicorn enter, some sewing supplies floating behind her. “Forgive me for intruding like this, but Princess Luna wanted…me…to…”
Rarity’s jaw went slack as she saw just who was staring back at her…
----------
For approximately fifteen seconds, any and all motion and thought ceased in that tiny chamber. Blueblood could only feel cold terror coarse its way down his spine as he stared at the pony he had offended so many months ago, while seeing the colt served to reopen all of Rarity’s old wounds about that...event. Even the dust mites knew better than to scuttle about at that moment.
Neither pony dared to make the first move, if only to keep up what little advantage they had over their rival. It wasn’t until Blueblood gave a small cough that Rarity finally said something. “So…you’re still a colt?”
Blueblood gave a slow nod. “Y-Yes.”
At this point, Rarity knew she had two ways she could react. The first was to give the colt the benefit of the doubt, perhaps even forgive him a little for what happened. After all, his only crime was utterly ruining a night she had planned down to the finest detail for months, tearing her idealism and dreams of romance to shreds like Opalescence claws the couch, and then ruining a dress she had spent Celestia-knows-how-many bits designing with a cake Applejack made after he insulted her friend’s cooking and made a complete flank of himself and humiliated her in front of the most important ponies in all of Equestria AND THEN TRIED TO ASSAULT PRINCESS CELESTIA AND GOT TWILIGHT TURNED INTO A FILLY AND-
And thus, Rarity went with the second choice: vengeful gloating.
She narrowed her eyes and took a few deliberately slow steps forward. “Well, I can’t say I’m particularly unhappy to see you like this. After the way you treated my friends and I, there is just no sympathy left in me for you.”
Blueblood sighed. “I know.”
Rarity glanced about the room, shaking her head disapprovingly at its untidiness. “And you certainly earned a room like this. No more grand mansions and estates in your future, correct?”
“I guess not.” Blueblood’s head sank even lower.
The mare smiled and scoffed, practically relishing her “victory” over the oafish Prince Blueblood. Nonetheless, she had a job to do, and the sooner it was done, the sooner she could report this happy development to her friends. “Now, despite your demotion in status, Princess Luna has requested that I make you a….fashionable new suit. And I can hardly turn down a royal request, now can I?” She floated up her measuring tape, scissors and pincushion. She especially took her time floating the mass of needles in front of Blueblood’s face. “Now, shall we begin?”
----------
Luna’s hoof traced its way from one end of the parchment to the next, if only to guide her understanding of the whole situation. “And you say the orange tree’s branches extend onto your property.”
An olive Earth pony with a bandaged head stepped forward. “Yes, Your Highness.”
The Princess nodded and turned to the other pony in this case, a teal Unicorn. “And it was about five days ago that you cut off the branch that landed on your neighbor’s head?”
“Absolutely,” said the Unicorn. “He was taking oranges off of my tree…”
“Those oranges were clearly on my property!”
“If you wanted oranges so badly, you should have gone to the market and bought some!”
“And you should have looked before you started chopping like a maniac!”
The pointless arguing would have continued for days had Luna not stomped her hoof at that instant. Both ponies immediately turned about to face their Princess, their heads hung in embarrassment. “Given what I have seen and heard here, there is clearly something going on that stems deeper than some oranges and head trauma. I cannot find any standing to overturn the Civil Court’s ruling on this case, but I would advise you to find a better place to mediate your concerns than at the Royal Court. We have a very full schedule and cannot be expected to handle every minor dispute that happens in Equestria.” She smiled, her grin growing more and more sincere with every chance she had to practice. “Have a good day, sirs. And please, refrain from hurting each other in the future.”
The two ponies grumbled and walked away, but even from her/her sister’s throne, Luna could make out the possible beginning of some kind of reconciliation. Hopefully, they would get the mediation they really needed, and would stop blaming each other. Besides, it was the teal one’s fault anyway. When will ponies learn not to absent-mindedly cut down tree branches?
Still, today had been a very productive day. She had already recorded five new issues for Celestia to discuss that night, blessed a marriage, took in some suggestions from the farmers outside of Canterlot, and even got a few petitioners that just wanted to bask in one of the Princesses’ glory. By this point, Rarity breaking Blueblood would just be the cherry topping of a perfect day.
There was still one thing plaguing her mind, though.
Just what is Celestia doing?
----------
Toola-Roola, art teacher at the Canterlot Community College, blew the bangs out of her eyes and trotted up to a violet stallion’s painting. After a few glances back-and-forth between the canvas and the fruit bowl. “Very good, Arrowhead, but you need to touch up on your orange. Your strokes are bleeding over into the papaya fruits.”
The stallion nodded and smiled. “I will, Mrs. Roola.”
Smiling, the teacher walked over to the next student, a pink filly. Again, she examined her pupil’s painting before passing damning judgment. “Remember to wash your brush between strokes. The last time I checked, it’s a bad sign when bananas have purple spots.”
The filly grinned the grinniest of grins. “Gotcha, Missus Roola!”
And at long last, Toola-Roola reached her most troublesome student. She heaved a labored, tortured sigh as she approached the paint-covered Princess Celestia. Her eyes came close to watering as she bore witness to the most heinous insult to fruit bowl painting since that time her little sister hoofpainted over her Harvest Festival entry. Even worse, however, was that…smile her Princess gave, even when she was utterly failing at a task. “Well? What do you think?”
Toola-Roola’s brain stretched and folded in upon itself as it tried desperately to find some sort of positive compliment for Celestia’s…interesting painting. She had never seen rectangular bananas, or polka-dot pears, or a bunch of grapes shaped into something the size of a grapefruit. “It’s…well…a unique…composition.”
Celestia’s face fell. “You mean it’s terrible, right?”
The Princess’ moody disposition set off the self-preservation protocols in Toola-Roola’s brain. In this case, it was the one designed to keep ponies from being banished or executed for daring to offend their Sun Princess. “N-No…of course not! It just…needs…work.” Her temples felt like tiny hammers were trying to break through from inside. “A lot…of work.”
The entire classroom became silent, save for the scuffling of hind quarters as ponies tried to get away from the soon-to-be-angry Princess Celestia. The royal mare herself felt her cheeks blush from the humiliation of it all. “I appreciate your desire to placate my feelings, but I am not a foal that needs her hoof held. If I am making a mistake, please let me know.”
“B-But…”
“That is a royal command, Toola-Roola.” Celestia levitated her paintbrush and pointed towards the rectangular yellow fruit. “I think I captured the essence of the banana quite well. How about you?”
“Erm…well…” Toola-Roola closed her eyes and coughed up the one possible answer she could give. “It’s…terrible, Your Highness. Just…terrible.”
Everypony in attendance gasped in horror. A few savvy adults even dived for cover, just in case the Princess brought the entire sun down on their heads. Toola-Roola herself could barely muster the strength to keep her bladder from releasing. The oncoming doom seemed inevitable…
Then Celestia smiled. “Very well, then. I never had my sister’s artistic talents, as anypony in the Astronomy Guild could tell you. Perhaps I need to work with pencils again and work my way back up to oil-based paints. Would that be all right?”
“Actually…” Toola-Roola cleared her throat. “Perhaps you should…well, start with…crayons and colored pencils again?”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed as she stared at the trembling pony before her. “I suppose you’re right. I have been over a thousand years out of practice, after all.” And at least I got a picture for Luna out of the class.
----------
Rarity stretched the tape across Blueblood’s back, reaching from his withers to the back of his loin area. “So, what does Princess Celestia do with you all day? Make you clean tables, perhaps? Or how about scrubbing the kitchen floors until they sparkle?”
“Actually, she has me attending school,” Blueblood muttered. “Magic Kindergarten, to be exact.”
The tape flipped about in the air and rolled around the colt’s barrel. “Hmmm…Never heard of school being used like a prison before. I mean, it always did seem that way when we were foals, but…” She sighed. “Still, I suppose Princess Celestia knows what she’s doing. And just how long does she plan to keep you in there?”
Blueblood’s left ear twitched as Rarity looked over his flanks, her mind going over whether or not coattails would work. “I have no idea. All she said is that I have to prove myself worthy of a second chance before she returns me to normal.”
“You would think that she would give you more explicit instructions, being a princess and all.” Rarity looked at her figures, tsked at the findings, and jotted her measurements onto a notepad. “I think I remember why foals are always so much trouble. The proportions are always lopsided.”
Blueblood’s eyes widened in surprise. “L-Lopsided? You mean, that’s different from a grown pony, right?”
“In quite a few cases, yes.” Rarity’s pencil jotted along the page, making adjustments to the design as needed. “It’s just a part of growing up.”
“So…I was perfectly symmetrical at the Gala, correct?”
Rarity sighed. Why does everything today have to relate to that…event? “I suppose so. You were the most eligible bachelor in Equestria, after all.” She smiled wickedly. “Although, I doubt the mares will be lining up to get their hooves on you now.”
Unfortunately for Rarity, her attempt at insulting Blueblood fell on deaf ears. The colt leaped into the air with a loud “YI-PEE!” then crashed back to the hard floor with a big, goofy smile on his face. The mare backpedaled in shock from the sudden explosion of exuberant joy, her magic dropping the pad and pencil as she did so. “B-Blueblood?”
“This is perfect!” the colt exclaimed. “I was worrying so much about being the opposite of who I used to be that I never realized I was already halfway there!”
Rarity cocked an eyebrow at this. “Perhaps you wouldn’t mind letting somepony else in on this little…joke of yours?”
“Oh, right. You weren’t here yesterday.” Blueblood spun around and looked up to Rarity. “I finally figured it out last night. All I had to do was act in the exact opposite way from how I behaved as an adult.”
Now Rarity was even more lost than ever. Blueblood’s train of logic was even more confusing than that time Pinkie tried to explain how donuts worked. (It apparently involved elves.) “Um…this is…interesting, but I have everything I need here. Now, perhaps you could show me the castle’s tailoring shop is? I really must get to work on this.”
----------
The Griffin Ambassador simply sat and stared at Luna, his beady little eyes never once leaving hers. The only time he moved his head was to pick at the unsettling meal he had been given: a few rats, skewered and cooked by his own attendants because nopony on the castle’s kitchen staff wanted to touch them. It was a miracle Ruby Dream didn’t pass out on sight.
The Moon Princess just picked at her own salad bowl, trying her best to fight back the anxiety welling up inside her. It wasn’t so much the blood meal that disturbed her; rather, it was just the feeling she got from his eyes. It reminded her of being a small filly, strapped to an oaken table while the Griffin King tried to make her his next meal.
The Ambassador slurped down a tail, swallowed loudly, and spoke in a gruff, almost unnatural voice. “Princess Luna, the agreement the Trade Ministry is proposing is perfectly fair. We are importing more than enough corn and barley to feed our subjects. And besides…” He picked at once of his rats, tearing out its underbelly and a few pieces of intestine. “We find the food ponies are accustomed to…rather tasteless.”
The dam finally broke. Ruby, half the guards, and nearly all of the other ponies in attendance reached for their buckets (which Luna had installed in the room just for such a meeting) and quickly expelled their lunches, parts of their breakfasts, and a few other meals they couldn’t even remember. Princess Luna just grimaced, doing the best to keep the meeting flowing as smoothly as possible. “Ambassador, we need this agreement so we can import wheat from our other neighbors. We lost a substantial portion of our crops during the Parasprite Infestation, and we cannot allow our subjects to starve because some hatchlings didn’t like their creamed corn.”
The Ambassador sneered, then tore off another chunk of roasted guts. Fortunately, it was met with a slightly smaller wave of revulsion this time around. “I understand if this is difficult for a bunch of plant-lovers like you to understand, but my kind prefer their meat to any fruit or vegetable you can provide. Now, if you were to, say, reconsider our offer to take your dead off of your…hooves…”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”
Luna’s hooves crashed onto the table, sending shockwaves in every direction. The Ambassador leaned back in shock, but never lost his smug little grin. “Princess Celestia rejected that…barbaric notion of yours, and I will not overturn her decision just to get a few more bits.”
“We would offer much more than a ‘few’ bits,” the Ambassador said. “Still, the griffins need meat. Our own hunting grounds are running low, our lakes are overfished, and there is just not enough to go around. Now, you obviously have too many ponies of your own; otherwise, you would not need to deal with these negotiations. All we are doing is giving you a chance to offload some of your dead and…less desirables. And if you will not take us up on this offer, we may have to start looking at more…aggressive measures.”
Luna slowly sunk back into her seat, her face returning to a neutral position. “You speak of war, do you not? If we do not give you our deceased, the Griffins will actually try to invade?”
The Ambassador shrugged. “That’s up to the High Council. From what I’ve heard, however, they will be more than willing to construe a disagreement on your part as a sign of defiance. And we all know who…would…”
The Ambassador’s gloating session came to a halt as he heard a noise he had not been expecting come from the Princess. He had come to this meeting to impose his nation’s demands on their neighbor’s government, to make the Princesses quake in fear. Instead, all he heard coming from Luna was…laughter. The dark blue Alicorn was giggling like a schoolfilly, in spite of a possible war.
“I…fail to see the humor in this.”
The Princess let out a few more laughs, along with a rather undignified snort, before she could regain enough composure to answer the bewildered Ambassador. “My apologies, but…are you seriously considering going to war against Equestria?”
“If you think you and your sister can intimidate our country, then you are sorely…”
Luna leaned forward slightly, her hooves returning to the table’s surface. “My friend, surely your schools still teaches what happened to Opinicus?”
The Ambassador’s claw dropped the rat stick as tiny pieces of entrails fell from his beak. His eyes almost sank back completely into his skull, while the furry tip of his tail went fluffy with shock. “I…I don’t know what…”
“Forgive me, I did not realize how much of their own past griffins have forgotten in the last millennium.” Luna’s voice dripped with sarcasm and no small amount of loathing. “A few thousand years ago, Opinicus was the ruler of the Griffin Kingdom, the latest of a thousand-year dynasty. He had conquered many of the pony tribes long ago, and the ones that were not enslaved were served as food in his court. Do you know what happened to him?”
“Of course I know!” snapped the Ambassador. “A volcanic eruption destroyed the capital city, causing the entire kingdom to collapse!”
Luna shook her head, an evil smile curled across her lips. “That was not what happened at all. You see, Opinicus learned that my sister and I existed when we tried to help the remaining tribes migrate to safer lands. He thought we would launch a resistance against his rule, so he decided to stop Celestia by kidnapping and serving me as a lunch. Celestia found out.”
The Ambassador’s feathers gradually frilled, until he resembled an angry porcupine more than a half-eagle, half-lion creature. His accompanying staff did much of the same thing. “When my elder sister learned what Opinicus was doing, she became quite upset. And by that time, she had become quite a proficient magic user, so she did the one thing she could do. She marched through the capital, her entire body wreathed in flame, until she reached the palace gates. She demanded that I be released, but Opinicus made the stupid mistake of saying ‘No.’ That was when it happened.”
“Wh-When what happened?”
“When she broke the front gates down, stormed into the dining room, freed me, and then…dethroned Opinicus. Unfortunately, in her rage she forgot to keep her power in check; her power had subconsciously destroyed every weapon, burned down every storehouse, and unlocked every pony’s cages and chains, all without taking a single life. By the time she was done, the Griffin Kingdom was utterly broken.”
The Ambassador felt a twinge of fear at the…thing sitting across from him, but his griffin pride and disbelief of this whole story finally steeled his nerves enough to slam one closed claw on the table. “Listen, you pompous brat! Do you think you can intimidate us into…”
“Oh, you misunderstand me,” Luna gasped. “I was not trying to scare you into an agreement. I am perfectly willing to negotiate for a contract both our nations can agree to. I just thought you should know that Opinicus’ downfall was caused when he tried to hurt Celestia’s little sister. She might not have the free reign she once had now that she is a princess, but she sees all her subjects as her kin. If you wage war, not only will you be endangering her little ponies, but you will have given her a legal opportunity to act.”
The loudest gulp ever heard in Equestria emerged from the griffin’s throat. Luna’s smile only grew as she pulled out and unfurled a large piece of parchment. “Now, given the current market rate, I believe that…”
----------
Nestled in the far corner of Canterlot Castle’s ground floor was the Royal Tailoring and Dressmaking Shop. Despite the name, however, it was far from a general clothing store. The business was opened to suit the needs of everypony but the ones that actually owned the castle, as Princess Celestia generally had little need for clothes and Luna’s arrival had changed that little. Their primary tasks involved repairing dresses and suits before events such as the Grand Galloping Gala and the Canterlot Garden Party, as well as tending to the non-armor needs of guardponies who could not afford to shop elsewhere on their salary.
Today, however, they had a new purpose.
The shop was deserted as Rarity and Blueblood entered; the shop was only opened on weekends before big events, and even then with only a limited staff. Rarity grimaced as she looked over the supplies, machines, and other tools at her disposal. “You would think somepony working for the royal houses would have a better shop than this.”
Blueblood shrugged. “I almost never set hoof in here. I always hired my own private tailors.”
“Oh, well!” Rarity’s mood suddenly perked back up. Her horn glowed, followed by a chain radiating in the dark. One pull later, and the overhead lamps were turned on, bathing the cluttered mess of a shop in a bright sea of light. The Unicorn trotted over to the nearest sewing machine, her magic causing the machine to spring to life. “I should have this suit done in a couple of hours. Why don’t you just…sit over there and wait, or whatever it is colts do.”
Blueblood opened his mouth to give some kind of protest, but it did not take long for him to realize the pointlessness of such an action. Sighing, he trotted over to the corner and laid down, his hoof reaching for a box of crackers that had been thoughtfully left by one of the actual staff.
----------
Ruby struggled to keep pace with Luna’s hoofsteps, especially in the narrow corridor where her wings couldn’t extend without whapping somepony. “And that’s the end of your meetings for tomorrow. Are you sure we aren’t at war?”
“Positive,” Luna said. “The deal we came to was perfectly fair for both nations, and hopefully we have put an end to their demands for our corpses. They were simply playing politics, nothing more. Now, what do I have scheduled next?”
Ruby turned her head towards her open saddlebag, just barely making out the next part of the schedule on the clipboard. “It seems you have some open time before your meeting with the Astronomy Guild. Shall I go ahead and begin preparations?”
Luna nodded. “Very well. I must say, you are adjusting to this quite well. When we first began working together, you could barely give a straight sentence.”
Ruby’s cheeks turned a deep crimson, even against her already red coat. “Well, that was a rather sudden promotion, and…” She snapped back to reality just as they reached the entrance to the room where the meeting would be held. “With your leave, Princess.”
Luna smiled at her attendant. “Make sure everything is perfect. I shall be retiring to my chambers to read over some of the new reports. Inform me when the hall is fully ready.”
----------
Rarity nodded as she floated over another bolt of black cloth. Blueblood simply looked over the designs on the floor, all while munching down on some crackers. The entire room swam in a mixture of barely-contained tension and the sound of mechanical needles plunging into fabric.
Finally, Blueblood spoke up. “Miss Rarity, about the Gala…”
Rarity froze for a half-second before returning to her snipping and measuring, her eyes never leaving her work station. “If you’re planning on apologizing about that night’s…misadventure, I would appreciate it if you would just drop the subject.”
Blueblood winced. Even his foal brain was able to pick up on the sheer amounts of concentrated bile radiating from every word Rarity said. His ears flattened as he returned to his crackers and drawings. “I…I know my behavior was unjustifiable. Nopony should ever be treated in such a crass manner, regardless of social standing.” He winced again as the fabric shifted ever-so-slightly to the right, followed by a hair suddenly springing out of place on the back of Rarity’s mane. “I was just…raised to behave that way.”
“You mean, your parents actually told you that acting like a ruffian was how a prince should be?” Rarity scoffed at the very notion. “I know that if I ever acted in such a way, my father would have at the very least grounded me for a month.”
Blueblood jumped to his hooves and walked up closer to Rarity, making sure he stayed outside of bucking range. “I wouldn’t use the same terms, but yes. My parents were very much members of Canterlot’s gilded elite. In order to keep such ranks, a pony has to ensure that the ponies beneath them know their place in the order of things.” He fell back on his haunches. “I will admit, you were ravishing in that dress. That’s why I was interested in keeping your company. But at the same time, you weren’t of the same class. You weren’t a princess from some neighboring kingdom, or even a duchess for that matter. Sadly, that was about as low as the acceptability scale would go.”
It was fortunate Blueblood could not see Rarity’s eyes that that moment, for he would have most likely melted into a pool of white-and-gold liquid at the sheer amount of hate radiating from her eyes. Nonetheless, the dressmaker continued on, her generous nature fighting off the urge to strangle Blueblood within an inch of his life. “Well, it’s so lovely that your parents itemized everypony’s rank. I’m certain that’s absolutely vital.”
“For a while, I thought it was.” Blueblood lowered his head. “And then this happened. I’ve had time to think, to take a look at the pony I used to be and…well, I realized I wasn’t exactly the wonderful stallion I thought I was. In fact, I…I was a monster. And…I wanted to apologize.”
“Tut tut!” Rarity tsked. “I told you, there is nothing to apologize over.” She pulled the first layer of the suit out of the sewing machine and floated over the next piece of cloth to the table for cutting. “Besides, it’s already far too late for that. The Gala is already over, my best night ever never came to be, and you apparently wanted to burn our village down because you were a crass, brutish, undignified cretin!”
The scissors suddenly slid off the straight line Rarity had previous marked until she had snipped a wavy line in the material itself. The mare sighed, snipped off the ruined piece, and quickly began to measure out a new piece. Blueblood, meanwhile, hunched closer to the ground, a few tiny tears forming along his eyes. “Oh, forgive me! I thought I was all over that night, but…”
Blueblood sniffed and wiped his eyes dry. “I understand. You have every right to hate me. You must have really wanted to spend the night with me.”
Rarity nodded, her magic opening and closing the scissors in a slow, consistent pattern. Measure twice and cut once, after all. “That would be an understatement. You were the stallion of my dreams, after all. The only reason I wanted to attend the Gala was to get close to you.”
Despite his desperate situation, Blueblood gave a small chuckle. “I can see why. A pony of your grace and wit must have known everything there is about me before you attended. My likes and dislikes, how I loved my toast butter-side down, and all that.”
Rarity’s cutting slowed to a snail’s pace as her eyes rolled towards the colt. “I…Of course I knew all that.”
Blueblood stood and turned around, not daring to show his face to the mare he had wronged. “I admit, I once thought you only wanted my attention because of the tabloids and not myself. But now I know it was just me trying to justify treating you like garbage. Nopony that could save Equestria twice over would be attracted to me just because I was a prince.”
The snipping of Rarity’s scissors ceased entirely as the front locks of her mane began to frazzle. “Wh-Why…of course I would never do such…such a thing…”
“It’s not like it matters or anything,” Blueblood said in a low, defeated tone. “I’m never going to be able to make it up to you. At this rate, I shall be stuck as a stupid colt for the rest of my life. How does one act in an opposite way from how they usually behave?”
Sensing that she was off the hook at the moment, Rarity looked back down at her design, double-checked her cutting figures, and finally resumed cutting and sewing the suit. As much as she wanted to avoid answering the colt’s question, however, her mind just could not let it go. “You know, I think you’re thinking about this the wrong way. A leopard can’t change his spots, after all.”
Blueblood looked back up at the mare, his eyes wide with despair. “Y-You mean I’ll be stuck as a horrible, village-burning monster forever?”
“Well…no,” Rarity said. “What I mean is, instead of radically changing who you are, just start making adjustments to your life. Perhaps, instead of rejecting my friend’s apple products as slop, you actually give them an honest try and accept them for what they are. Or, perhaps you use your connections and political savvy to actually do some good for somepony, rather than just advance yourself in the social stratosphere.”
“But that’s not going to get me back to normal!” Blueblood whined. “I have to do something quick and soon!”
With a quick tug, Rarity pulled the other layer of the suit’s jacket from the machine. “Then why are you in such a hurry? If the Princess is really trying to make you a better pony, then perhaps you should take things more slowly. Canterlot wasn’t built in a day.”
The room fell silent once again, save for the frustrated moans of Blueblood. The colt sank down on the floor once again, his eyes half-closed in a vain attempt to hold back the severe pain all this thinking was causing. “I…suppose so. But I really cannot stay like this for much longer. I’m an adult. I haven’t been locked in my room and harassed by bullies daily since I finished boarding school.” He let out a mournful sigh. “At least I know you are a trustworthy, honorable…”
“ALRIGHT, I’M GUILTY!”
The sudden outburst sent Blueblood galloping under a nearby chair for cover, his tiny frame barely fitting in the mess of supports and legs. Rarity’s once-pristine eyes were now bloodshot with self-inflicted rage, her very lips trembling from the frustration of it all. She didn’t even turn to face Blueblood fully, instead opting to just give him a side view of her disheveled face. “I knew nothing about you! NOTHING! All I heard was that Princess Celestia had a gorgeous nephew that I had to meet!”
Blueblood’s face went white(r). “Y-You mean…you were the same as…”
“I always wanted to live in Canterlot, ever since I was a filly.” Rarity choked back a few guilt-ridden sobs. “Ever since my mom taught me how to sew, I’ve dreamed of being able to design clothes for the greatest ponies in all of Equestria! A-And I just…wanted to get closer to her! I…I…” The mare collapsed to the ground, her eyes overflowing with salty tears. “I just wanted a prince charming!”
One part of Blueblood wanted to roll his eyes at the spectacle. He had seen similar reactions, especially during the Great Romance Novel Plague that once threatened to swallow the entire court in a sea of sappiness and melodrama. Even Cadance had caught the bug, begging Blueblood to read her stories she had snuck out of Princess Celestia’s room. Fortunately, neither one was old enough to understand everything that was going on, or why the adults were hugging each other in funny ways and constantly kissing parts other than a mouth. Even more fortunately, Celestia wasn’t into the more extreme ones, so he didn’t have to explain how Cadance had a sudden understanding of pony anatomy.
At the same time, however…
“I’m sorry.”
Rarity’s head perked up mid-sniffle. “Wh-What?”
The colt slowly trotted over, his head hanging low. “I didn’t mean to upset you. In fact, all I’ve done is make ponies mad at me for some reason or another. Princess Luna hates me, some foals at school want me dead, and now I’ve even ruined your life.”
Rarity shook her head. “N-No, you haven’t done anything of the sort. I still have my friends, my family, and my boutique. I just…wished that things could have…”
Blueblood tapped a hoof against his cheek. This whole “thinking” thing was not really part of the skills a member of the Canterlot elite was expected to have; “scheming” and “undermining” were far more desirable disciplines than actually analyzing a situation critically. Still, he did have a conclusion. “Well…I’m here now. Obviously there is no way you would be interested in me the same way, so…perhaps we can talk?”
Rarity’s jaw hung, her eyes quivering like swirling washbasins. “I…I suppose that will be…nice.”
----------
“And t-then Sweetie Belle used all of my Baby Blue Sapphires on this lovely little arts and crafts project of hers!” Rarity barely fought off another round of laughter at her little sister’s expense, even as Blueblood just rolled his eyes at such youthful silliness. “Now, I will admit I was quite upset when I first saw what she had done, but after I took a closer look at her work, I realized how…utterly lovely it was.”
“Yes, well, I never really did make much for my parents,” Blueblood said. “There was that Parent’s Day poem I wrote once, but thankfully it has been purged from Equestria.”
Rarity’s magic pulled at the small bowtie, tugging it until it was just snug enough to be fashionable. That task accomplished, she floated over the black coat. Blueblood, having done this a hundred times in his former life, leaned back on his haunches and raised his forelegs, allowing the fabric to fall into place and look through the appropriate limbs. Once everything was in position, he slid his hooves down and began fumbling with the buttons.
“You know, about your parents…”
Blueblood seized up as the words penetrated his eardrum. “Miss Rarity, I appreciate your company, but…I would rather not speak of them again. After all, they did make me who I was.”
Rarity shook her head sadly. “That’s not how it works at all, Blueblood. Parents are supposed to teach you how to walk, talk, behave, and if they have any sense at all, how to be fashionable. But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck following them completely.”
“…Huh?”
“You see, my parents are…” Rarity’s face scrunched up slightly as she mulled over the kindest possible words for this situation. “Somewhat…slightly…in a manner of speaking…completely and utterly uncouth. My mother couldn’t match a pair of sweat pants with a sweater to save her life, and my father…well, I don’t care how great he was at hoofball, but it wasn’t until I moved out that he finally realized I wasn’t going to bring home any trophies.”
She rolled her eyes at the small flood of repressed memories spewing about in her brain. “Point is, I didn’t have to follow everything they did. I mean, I learned a lot from them, and they weren’t bad by any means, but I didn’t have to repeat their life. Am I making sense?”
Blueblood shrugged. “I suppose. Still, this is going to be irritating.” He looked up at Rarity sheepishly, his hooves resuming their epic quest to fit the buttons in the right holes. “But…I’m glad you came here. I’ve thought about the Gala quite a bit, and…I’m sorry. For everything. Can…Can you forgive me?”
Rarity’s mouth closed instantly, her eyes never wandering from Blueblood’s. Standing in front of her was the stallion that had ruined everything and tried to burn her village to the ground. She was in the perfect position to destroy him once and for all, to smash his ego so hard that it would never rebuild.
But no matter how much she reassured herself that it was right, she just couldn’t do it. In all honesty, she had almost completely forgotten about Blueblood until that whole incident with Celestia. And even then, she would have probably pushed it out of her mind had Luna not invited her over and…
Her eyes tripled in size and intensity. Her hooves trembled as realization took hold. That…She…I…
“Um…Miss Rarity?”
The colt’s little voice was enough to snap Rarity back into reality. The mare’s face trembled as her nerves slowly pushed away any obvious signs of discontent, until she was back to just smiling happily with a starry-eyed look in her eyes. Blueblood’s suit, a double-breasted attire with gold-painted buttons, a white shirt, and a little bow tie, was now completely on the former Prince. “This is a very nice suit. Do you make a lot of these?”
Rarity gave a fake smile. “Well, yes, of course. I do run a boutique, after all. I am so glad we had this chance to talk, but I have some pressing business. I’m sure the guard can show you back.”
“Oh…I understand.” The colt sighed as Rarity began walking away, her trot gradually turning into a canter. Before she could leave, however, he managed to cry out once more. “Wait! You never answered my question?”
Rarity froze at the doorway, turning her head just enough for the colt to catch her smile. “Yes, I suppose I do. At least, I don’t despise you like I once did. And given what you did, that is a start.”
Her answering complete, the mare left the small shop, leaving the colt alone again. Why am I always just getting “starts?”
----------
Luna was in the middle of hanging her new dresses in her wardrobe when Rarity returned. Her victory assured, she smiled, closed her eyes, and spun about. “I assume everything is in or-”
“How dare you use me like that!”
Luna’s eyes flung open, only for her to wish they had remained closed. The Rarity that now stood before her was not the same pony that had left her room only a few hours before. Her features had darkened into a black cloud of disgust and frustration, her eyes threatening to fire death beams right through Luna’s skull. The Moon Princess quickly began to take a few steps backwards, just in case the Unicorn decided spending the rest of her life in a dungeon was worth the opportunity to run her horn through the Alicorn’s throat.
“I…I do not understand…”
Rarity took a few stomps forward, her entire body slinking closer to the ground with every step. “You didn’t invite me here for some dresses! You wanted me to sabotage your nephew’s rehabilitation!”
Luna’s head blushed so red, it seemed like a second sun was threatening to form underneath her cranium. Given the amount of sweat pouring down, that was not far from the truth. “Please, Miss Rarity! I…I really was interested in your designs, honest! But this is a matter of the upmost important to the state!”
Rarity’s eyes both winced from the sheer frustration of Luna’s statement. “How is crushing a colt’s spirit somehow the keystone to all of Equestria?”
“Because he tried to assault Celestia!” Luna snapped. She leaned forward, trying to look as imposing and authoritative as possible. “And do you not remember how he ruined the Gala? How he destroyed your ideals because of his boorish behavior? Surely a pony like you can…”
Rarity scoffed and rose back to her natural standing position. “Yes, I was very upset with what he did, but I would never try to do what you’ve done today. I was angry when Twilight was regressed, but the colt I saw today was nothing like the Blueblood I knew. He is changing, Princess Luna. Whatever it is that Princess Celestia is trying to do is working, and you are too blind to notice.”
“He is a monster! Something like that doesn’t deserve to live! Not after what he…”
“We forgave you, didn’t we?”
Every hair on Luna’s body stood on end. Her lips quivered, her eyes widened, and her cheeks burned. “Y-You d…dare to speak to thy Princess…” Luna muttered, her voice barely rising above a whisper.
Rarity stuck up her nose and cantered around the room, pausing only to levitate the empty boxes onto her back. “Remember when we first met? We could hardly speak, mostly because you were busy trying to destroy Equestria. You tried to kill me, my friends, and the most glorious moustache ever known. And do you know what happened? We used the Elements, cleanses you of whatever it was that was controlling you – Twilight always was better at understanding those things – and your sister gave you back your title on the spot.”
“Th-That has nothing to do with…”
The last of the packages landed gracefully on Rarity’s back. “The colt I saw back there wasn’t the same one that held me in front of a cake.”
Having said her piece, Rarity humphed one last time and began trotting out of the chamber. She paused and turned only when she was at the door’s edge. “You can keep the dresses. And perhaps, when you’ve learned your own lesson, you can write me and place another order. I think you will find me to be a most…forgiving pony.”
And with that, she was gone.
Luna watched as the door closed. She was barely able to see the other side of the room from behind the small fires burning in her retinas. H-How dare she? I care not that she is one of the ponies that saved me, nopony speaks to their Princess in such a manner! I invite her to the castle to sell her wares, and she repays my kindness with condemnation? The arrogance!
Her breathing became labored and erratic. I will see her punished for this. She and Blueblood both will suffer greatly for this affront.
A small whimper emerged from the back of her throat. Perhaps I should consult with Twilight and the rest of her friends. They should know of a weakness in Miss Rarity’s character.
Her body shook with growing anxiety. I…I…I will…see…her…I…do not care…if she…thinks I am…a…
The tears fell. Villain.
----------
The Sun Princess knocked on her sister’s door, her affront to the art world leaning on the wall next to her. “Hello? Luna”
No answer.
Shrugging, Celestia tried the doorknob. Fortunately, it turned out to be unlocked, and the door soon opened.
And Celestia found herself wishing it had remained closed.
Her sister’s bedroom was in absolute shambles. Her sister’s dresser and wardrobe were tossed over as if a giant dragon had flipped them with his claws. The bed was stripped bare, while chicken feathers from Luna’s pillows were strewn about. A mirror, the same one used to torture Celestia during Luna’s prank, was now shattered, as if it had been bucked with great force. The entire room was a disheveled, destroyed mess.
And sitting in the far corner was Princess Luna herself. She made no attempt to move from her little area of the room; indeed, she did not even seem to notice that Celestia was there to begin with. The only noise to be heard was the Alicorn’s sob and chokes.
Celestia quickly stepped inside, closing the door behind her lest somepony else see this mess. Still, Luna made no effort to even turn around. “Luna, what’s wrong?”
Nothing.
Fortunately, Celestia’s long limbs soon proved to be an advantage, as she was able to easily sidestep much of the mess and reach Luna’s position without tripping on books or cutting herself on broken glass. Even with somepony directly behind her, however, Luna seemed completely withdrawn from the world. With a mournful sigh, Celestia bent down on all fours and extended a wing over Luna’s back. “Sister, please. Did you do all this?”
Finally, Luna could ignore her no more. She nodded her head, a small whimper emerging from her throat as she did so. Celestia’s eyes widened with the horrific implications this news provided. “What happened, exactly?”
“I-It’s not important,” she whined.
“Whenever it concerns you, it’s always important,” Celestia said. She leaned in closer, nuzzling her sister along the cheek. “Now, tell me everything.”
“I-It was…I invited Rarity from Ponyville over…to buy some dresses.” Luna’s entire body shivered as she realized there was no way Celestia would buy such a lie.
Her fears soon turned true. Celestia narrowed her eyes and pulled her face away in frustration. “You mean, you had her come here to torment Blueblood some more. Luna, I thought we had discussed all this.”
“I…I just wanted to…make him work for his…redemption,” Luna muttered. She snorted back another noseload of snot and wiped her eyes on Celestia’s wing. “At least, that’s what I thought. I…I have no idea anymore…”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed some more, now little more than small slits on her face. “So, what happened with Rarity?”
Luna shook her head furiously. “W-We talked some, I tried the dresses on, and then I asked her…to…to make Blueblood a suit. I-I-I wanted her to push his buttons, make him suffer! B-But when she came back, she was yelling at me! She said I was a…” She choked. “Monster.”
The older sister recoiled at the word. She knew first-hoof about her sister’s mental state, especially after the whole Nightmare Moon incident. She also knew, however, that there was no way Twilight’s friends would ever call her such a thing. Well, save for Spike, but he was a child, after all. “So, you responded by destroying your room? Sister, are you still six hundred years old?”
Luna haunched her entire body to the ground. For the first time, Celestia could see the small cut marks along her legs. “I…They were the ones that saved me! I wanted them to at least respect, if not love me! A-And now she hates me, and she’s going to tell everypony else in Ponyville what a monster I am, and…”
“Luna, I’m sorry things went wrong, but you have to accept that you made a bad decision,” Celestia said in her usual, motherly tone. “You used a pony that trusted you just to get revenge on a pony I told you to leave alone for the time being. Even after I told you to let your hatred go, you just…”
Luna’s head jerked up so fast it almost slammed right into Celestia’s snout. The Princess recoiled in shock as she saw her sister’s eyes, now overflowing with tears of self-hatred and loathing. “I know that! I want to stop so much, b-but I cannot do it! I cannot let him go! Do you really think I want to hate him? Our own nephew? B-But…he is such a…was such a…I…I…”
All the bitterness in Celestia’s heart, all the frustration she had been building up towards her sister since she first proved her intentions for Blueblood, melted away in the sight of her anguish. Even worse, she could remember thinking much the same way only a few months before. “Luna, we have to get past all this hatred. For now, however, I want you to take the rest of the day off. The night, too. We shall speak more of this tomorrow.”
Before the Princess could rise, however, Luna’s forelegs were trapped around her neck and pulling her down. The younger sister’s face became even more twisted in alarm. “N-No! I-I-I’m fine! I can manage the day just…” Her features softened as she let out a yawn. “…Fine…on…my…ooooooown.”
Luna’s body went as limp as a rag doll just as Celestia’s horn stopped glowing. Sighing, the Sun Princess picked herself off the floor, levitating the nearby Moon Princess onto her back for easy travel. I’ll put her in my room for now. That spell should last until sunrise tomorrow.
She sighed. But it won’t solve anything. She and my nephew have to come to some kind of understanding. Perhaps…
Then it hit here. The perfect solution. The thing those flyers she got in the newspapers sometimes told her about. The one way to bring families together, and yet was the thing everypony feared doing.
A family activity.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
-AND-
A Wholly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Blueblood’s morning routine pretty much trudged on as usual. He performed his morning exercises with the guards, received his usual scolding from Shining Armor, washed away the copious amount of sweat he had accumulated doing said exercises, and finally groomed himself as best he could. He brushed his mane, flattened his coat, and finally scrubbed his teeth. All in all, it was a very typical start to the day, at least since he had been cursed.
And then he reached the breakfast table.
To his amazement, there was no sign of Princess Luna at all. Only his Aunt Celestia was in attendance, munching an egg-filled burrito and humming a merry tune as she went over some paperwork. Blueblood slowly slid into his seat, his eyes darting back and forth in case his evil aunt was waiting to jump him from the shadows. He barely even acknowledged his own tortilla-wrapped meal, sitting on a small plate before him. “G-Good morning, Princess Celestia.”
Celestia gave a very short nod at the sound of Blueblood’s voice, her eyes never leaving the work that lay before her. “Good morning, Leon. Happy Monday!”
Blueblood chuckled nervously and rolled his eyes. After all these years, she’s still making the same joke. “So, where is Princess Luna? She hasn’t missed a breakfast since this started.”
Celestia’s response began with a weighted sigh. Her brow furrowed with what Blueblood could assume was no small bit of anxiety. “She is…indisposed. Last night was especially difficult for her, so I am allowing her to rest a while longer.” She swallowed another bite of her burrito. “You don’t have plans after school, right?”
Blueblood rolled his eyes. “Aunt Celestia, do you really think I’d be stupid enough to run around Canterlot looking like this? I was never that foolish.”
The colt barely had just enough time to comprehend the stupidity of what he had just uttered by the time Celestia’s eyes had met with his. “I don’t know. Which pony decided to try to kidnap me so he could burn down an entire village, hmm? And then, just to prove their point, tried to stop a dangerous spell and almost harmed my protégé?”
Blueblood slunk down in his seat. “I…see your point. No, I don’t plan to go anywhere. I don’t think Sky Bloom would allow it, anyway.”
“And there’s…something else.” Celestia’s horn lit up, her magic taking hold of a small scroll before depositing it on the table. “I just received this in yesterday’s mail. It’s from Cadance.”
The burrito slipped from Blueblood’s hooves and splattered across his plate. Absolute terror gripped every inch of his very being at the name. “C-Cadance? She’s coming here?”
“She was helping Luna and I deal with the situation in Stalliongrad these last few weeks. Now that the relief efforts are under control, she’s returning to Canterlot.” Celestia smiled. “After all, she still has a wedding in a few months. I’m certain she’d love to spend some time with Shining Armor again.”
Blueblood chuckled nervously, his eyes unconsciously rolling to his left. “Yes, yes, lovely. That is…lovely. And what are we going to do about me?”
“I haven’t exactly figured that part out yet.” Celestia let out a sigh, her mane drooping just slightly. “With her being here, though, I would recommend that you be on your very best behavior. Remember what happened the last time you two spoke?” Blueblood nodded, with only a tiny squeak to represent his verbal response. “Still, I don’t expect your cousin to hold too much of a grudge. She is still Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, after all.”
“Y-Yes, of course she is,” Blueblood stammered. He quickly shoved the last few bites of his meal in his mouth and hopped to his hooves so fast the contents of his stomach jumped about. “Well, I really need to get going. I still have school and…um…stuff that…doesn’t involve Cadance in any way…bye!”
Despite his latest fit, Celestia still managed to smile as he darted off to brush his teeth. She levitated her tea to her lips and took a small sip. Don’t worry, Blueblood. Once I explain the situation to her, I’m certain she’ll understand…
----------
The butterfly keeps darting in and out of view, taunting me. This will not stand. Our parents created this planet for us, and we shall not allow your pretty colors to taunt our godly visage!
I strike out with my hooves. The fiend dodges my blows, flying higher and higher to continue the mockery. I pounce as best I can, but I cannot reach. My wings flap at my sides, but I am still not strong enough to fly for more than a few seconds, and I fall right back to the ground. It flies away, faster and faster and faster.
I turn around. My sister is standing there, smiling. She is so beautiful, so powerful. She knows everything there is to know, can defeat any enemy, and loves everypony equally. I want to become just like her. Then when our parents come back, they will be so impressed that they will not abandon us again. I am such a smart pony.
I walk up to my sister. She raises her wing. I walk underneath. Her body is warm and pleasant to the touch. I sink closer to her.
“I love you so much, big sister!”
“I love you too, Luna!”
Everything is happy, content, wonderful. She is so warm. The heat melts down my face, burns my eyes. I feel something sting my eyes. I look up in surprise.
My sister is bleeding.
I panic and withdraw from her. Blood is streaming down her every inch of her body. She looks at me with pure hatred. She stands as her flesh seems to peel away, the blood replaced with a burning inferno. “Luna, why did you do it? Why do you hate me?”
“I don’t hate you!”
“Why did you do it?”
I run. I gallop away until I reach a small stream. I can run no more, I need water. So I try to drink.
I see my reflection.
The face that stares back is not me.
It is Nightmare Moon.
“Why did you do it?”
I spin around to face my sister. She is no longer a pony, but a mass of pure hatred and contempt. Her burning eyes stare at me with contempt, tiny yellow beads buried within a swirling mass of blood and orange energy. “Monster. Fiend. Nightmare. Why did you do it?”
“I-I didn’t mean to!”
It grows closer. “WHY DID YOU DO IT?”
“I-I just wanted them to love me!”
It was almost upon me. I tried to run, but my hooves were frozen. “WHY DID YOU DO IT?”
I scream.
Luna’s body catapulted forward so quickly that the bedcovers managed to fly a good ten feet off the bed. The bedspread itself was drenched in a cold sweat, as was her body. She had not had a nightmare like that in months. Feeling guilt over everything that had happened a thousand years ago was nothing new, true, but this was different. There was something in Celestia’s voice, a cold condemnation that she had never heard her elder sister utter before.
Slowly, Luna rolled out of the bed, her brain pounding with the most epic hangover in Equestrian history. The pain in her skull dulled her sense at first, and it was about ten minutes before she could fully comprehend exactly where she was. Even in this state, she could recognize this as Celestia’s bedroom. H-How did I get…?
She took a few steps forward, pausing only when she felt something odd on one of her legs. Sure enough, she could make out a small bandage wrapped in small sections around her leg, tiny splotches on red showing through the fabric. When did these get…?
Her eyes widened as the hazy fog in her mind lifted. She could remember everything that had happened the previous day, from the time she had visited with Rarity to destroying her own room. I-I was in my room…Celestia came in…I spoke to her, and…
Then she saw what was waiting on the dresser. There, sitting in plain view for all but the utterly inebriated, was a silver dome resting atop a platter. Luna cocked her head, trying in vain to at least make out her reflection, but alas, the kitchen staff had not gotten to polishing this piece of dishware yet, and all she could make out was that her face was now a smudged mass of hoofprints. It also didn’t help that there was a folded piece of paper attached to its surface.
Luna slowly made her way forward, her limbs still groggy from her slumber. It took a considerable amount of willpower just to levitate the note free of the tape, float it to her eye level, and finally open it enough to read:
---
Luna,
I do not know if you will remember exactly what occurred between us yesterday. After I found you yesterday, I had no choice but to use a sleeping spell to smuggle you back to my bedroom for the time being. You were in no shape to perform your royal duties, and I could not risk allowing you to hurt yourself further.
I have already spoken to Twilight Sparkle on the matter. According to her, Rarity is still livid, but so far has told nopony else of what has transpired. I have already asked my student to keep things under control in Ponyville until we have come to a final decision regarding Blueblood. Still, I want you to understand that just because you made a poor choice in judgment does not mean any possibility of a friendship between you and Miss Rarity is impossible. If you wish, I can help you with an apology later tonight.
As for today, I want you to eat your breakfast and then join me near the front castle gates. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is returning to Canterlot today, and it is important that we greet her as a family. I know the two of you did not get off on the right hoof, but that does not mean you should exclude any possibility of a friendship between the two of you.
Lastly, I must ask you not to mention Blueblood to her. He and Cadance have had a very…tense relationship for a while, and while I trust her not to perform anything morally bankrupt, I still want to handle this on my own terms. But for now, I had the castle staff prepare you a breakfast burrito. It should still be sitting on your tray. And don’t pick at your bandage.
- Celly
---
Luna stopped picking at her bandage and tossed the note aside with a humph. A sleeping spell? Hurting myself? Does she really think so little of me?
Her lips drooped, while her eyes began to quiver slightly. And besides, how can anypony forgive me for that?
Before she could sink completely into self-pity, however, a single thought managed to kick her mind back into happier territory. She managed to force a smile as she levitated the top off her platter. Still, no doubt I shall have a full day at court today. Once I am back on the throne and working for my the good of my subjects again, yesterday’s troubles shall be but a bad memory.
----------
Blueblood was five steps away from the classroom door when he heard Lofty’s voice call out. “Hey, Leon! You got a minute?”
The colt spun about, his eyes meeting up with the Pegasus filly. The sight sent him doubling back in surprise, not only because he hadn’t expected to see her again so soon after the party, but because she was actually smiling at him. “Uh…May I…help you?”
“I just wanted to thank you so, so much for that picture!” Lofty’s tiny wings extended from her uncontrollable glee, which served to only make Blueblood even more nervous. “That was the most awesome gift anypony’s ever given me! I mean, I know I said thank you back then but I really couldn’t tell you just how amazing it was because I was so surprised that a pony like you would give me that but-”
Blueblood raised a hoof, his eyes widening with worry as Lofty appeared to have begun hyperventilating. “Look, it’s all right. I’m just…glad you enjoyed your present.”
If Lofty had detected the small hint of shame in Blueblood’s voice in that comment, she made no effort to show it. In fact, her sense of overflowing glee only seemed to grow. “Look…I know we got off on a bad hoof. I mean, I only knew you when you were a mean adult, but now? You’re actually…not too bad. For a colt, I mean.”
“Um…thanks,” Blueblood muttered.
Any further possibility of a prolonged conversation came to an end as the first bell rang, signaling a last-minute call to class. “Oh crud, I can’t be late today! I-I’ll see you at recess!” Before Blueblood could get another word in, Lofty was already galloping towards her classroom, her tiny wings spread out to try and boost her speed with a good draft.
Blueblood watched her disappear into the distance before opening his own classroom door and wandering to his desk. As he heaved his saddlebags onto the designated spot on the floor, his mind invariably drifted back towards that party. In particular, to the very special gift he never got the birthday pony, and yet was now being praised for. It was obvious who was responsible, and it was especially evident why it was done, but there was just one thing bothering him.
Why do I feel so bad about it?
----------
The moment the lookouts spotted the carriage approaching the castle gates, Celestia and her royal procession trotted down the front steps to greet them. It was as small an affair as she could get away with, consisting of only herself, her sister, Shining Armor, and about half a dozen other guards and servants. Her Captain was already quivering in excitement for the occasion, forcing Celestia to chortle a chuckle. As for Luna, she just seemed as withdrawn as ever.
The carriage slowly pulled around the bend, its wheels squeaking and clapping along before coming to a halt just in front of the first steps. The ponies pulling the vehicle quickly unharnessed themselves and cantered to let their passenger out, only to find the door already opened and a pink forehoof slowly, methodically descending down from the carriage platform to the hard stone floor below.
Seeing that their help was no longer needed, one of the ponies, a burly maroon stallion, turned about and bowed towards his Princesses. “Your Highnesses, may I present Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Princess of Roam and Heir to the Crystal Em-”
All while the stallion was echoing the dozen or so titles his charge had accumulated over her life, Mi Amore Cadenza continued to make her way out of the carriage. She set her second forehoof down, just a tad ahead of the first, paused to flip her mane out of her eyes, and continued to make her way out. Just as she was about to step out entirely, however, her right hind hoof caught on the bottom lip of the carriage door. She barely had time to let out a yelp of surprise before tumbling face-first onto the floor.
Everypony in attendance immediately stopped talking and ran up to the fallen princess. Shining Armor in particular pushed himself to the front, lowered his body down enough to slide underneath his fiance’s barrel, and finally helped her back to her hooves before the embarrassment could continue. “Cadance, are you all right?”
Cadance blew a gust of frustrated hot breath, but otherwise just smiled. “I’m fine, Shining Armor. Just decided to let gravity speed me along a little, that’s all.” She deftly let out a small chuckle, her laughter barely managing to cover the intense, searing agony the front of her face was currently experiencing. After a few moments, Shining seemed to finally buy her excuse and released her, allowing the princess the chance to continue her journey up the stairs.
The princess paused as she stepped in front of Princess Celestia. The elder Alicorn gave the younger a quick nod, her lips stern with seeming disapproval. Cadance shuddered in terror from her aunt’s shifting eyes, and in the process, allowed her guard to drop just enough for Celestia to step forward and give her a warm, loving hug. “Welcome back, Cadence.”
Cadance smiled, her body feeling more than a little numb from her exhausting trip and her aunt’s unnaturally warm body. She could hear Shining Armor snorting behind her, obviously to suppress the laughter welling up from seeing his fiancé blush through her pink coat, but chose to ignore him for the moment. “Thank you, Aunt Celestia. Sorry it took so long. You wouldn’t believe how much of a mess Stalliongrad was.”
Celestia giggled. “Trust me, I know. Why do you think I sent you there in the first place?” She gave the still-somewhat nervous mare a small wink. “I do hope the experience was an enlightening one. You won’t be a little princess forever, after all, and assignments like this are just some of the crises you’ll have to deal with on a daily basis. I’m just glad I have had the chance to teach you at least a little about ruling. Just because those deadbeat, good-for-nothing parents of yours abandoned you in Canterlot for almost your life doesn’t mean that…”
The Sun Princess’ ranting came to an end after a rather forceful nudge from Luna woke her back into reality. Cadance was still standing in front of her, but in the time Celestia had broken off on her miniature tirade, her expressions had changed from happy to be home to wishing she could just hop back in the carriage and ride to Roam. “I…I’m sorry, Cadance. I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s alright.” Somehow, Cadance managed to fight through the horrible memories her aunt had just dug up and smiled. “Still, I…think I should get some rest. I’ve barely had a full night’s sleep for weeks, and the ride back had a lot more bumps than I thought it would. I’ll see you at dinner, then?”
Celestia’s eyes rolled upwards slightly, just enough to look over Cadance’s head and catch up with Shining Armor. The Captain’s eyes had never left his beloved since her return. With a smile, she returned her attention to her niece. “I agree. A tired princess is hardly any good for anypony, after all.” She snapped back towards the Captain, snapping the stallion out of his gaze with her sudden movement. “Shining Armor, would you be so kind as to escort Princess Cadance?”
“Of course,” he said.
“And it is getting to be about noon. Perhaps you should take your lunch break right after? I’m certain Equestria will wait for your return before collapsing into anarchy again.”
Shining Armor’s eyes widened with excitement. His joy at spending any amount of time with Cadance was so great, his professionalism and training as a soldier was the only thing keeping him from hopping onto Princess Celestia and pronouncing his endless thanks. Instead, he opted for a far more reserved, “Understood, Your Highness,” and then walked off towards his quarters, Cadance never leaving his side even once.
Celestia and Luna watched the two lovebirds walk into the distance, a smile on both their faces. “Young love is a wonderful thing, is it not?” Celestia muttered.
Luna nodded her head. “It certainly is. I do hope they enjoy the dinner plans I have prepared for them.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow and turned towards her sister. “Wait…dinner plans?”
The Night Mare simply grinned, an expression that only grew as she explained her intricately evil scheme to give ponies alone time. “This shall be their first night together in some time, so when I spoke to Shining Armor about joining us in this plan of yours, I offered to help him make this moment special. So, while you were running around trying to reform that nephew of ours, I managed to get the two of them dinner reservations at the Black Pearl. I even arranged for them to use our private table.”
Celestia felt a slight twinge in her cerebral cortex. The Black Pearl was one of the most exclusive restaurants in all of Canterlot, let alone Equestria. The food itself was excellent, but the real claim was that Celestia herself had hoofpicked that eatery as a secondary entertainment establishment. That way, if something was wrong with the castle, she would still be able to attend to her guests in a clear, secure zone. So far, she had only used it in that function once, but it was enough for the managers to publicly use her – and eventually, her sister – as a part of its advertisement. Everypony wanted to dine at Celestia’s “favorite restaurant.”
Despite her frustration, however, Celestia somehow managed to keep herself together. “Luna, I know your intentions were good, but I would much rather you did not throw our royal names around to earn extra favors.”
Luna’s face fell. “I see. I apologize for my brashness, then. Still, what is done is done, and they shall have a wonderful time tonight. And now, if you will excuse me, I must resume my duties.”
“Actually, about that…” Celestia rubbed her fetlocks together so quickly she could have potentially started a fire. “After what happened yesterday, don’t you think you should take a few days off?”
Somewhere deep within Luna’s chest, her heart suddenly skipped a beat. She could feel a cold sweat brewing underneath her coat as her sister’s words took hold. “B-But I am far better now than I was yesterday! That was just a single incident, nothing more. I promise…”
Celestia shook her head, cutting off her sister in the process. “Luna, I have been down this road before, and so have you. The fact is, there isn’t just one Princess of Equestria anymore, nor shall there ever be again. But these last two weeks have been far too busy for you. You had to hold up Equestria while I was indisposed, and this mess with Blueblood…” She sighed. “Luna, I must ask that you put your duties on hold for at least one more day.”
“B-But…Ruby Dream is already…”
“I spoke with her before we met out here. She will still be performing the same duties, only for me today. Once you are well enough to return to the throne, she can resume her normal tasks.”
A tiny whimper managed to escape from Luna’s throat. She wanted so much to lash out at Celestia right now, to wrap her hooves around her neck and force her to not do this, but her entire body seemed to resist her mind’s commands. “N-No…Y-You cannot do this. I am your sister…”
“And that’s why I’m doing this. I have to make sure my little sister stays healthy.” Celestia trotted up to her sister and nuzzled her along the nape of the neck, the Night Mare’s body remaining completely rigid. “I have something very special planned for tonight. We’ll speak then.”
Before Luna could take any other action, or even voice another protest, Celestia trotted her way back into the castle, no doubt to do the work that rightly belonged to her sister. The young Alicorn watched the door close behind her, waited until she far enough away to hear her, and finally let out a small scream before walking off towards her own room.
----------
The last grains of sand slid down the hourglass’ center before settling in a big pile at the bottom. Miss Brightly smiled and banged her hoof on the desk, calling the class away from their painting supplies. “Alright, my little ponies! It’s time to share your art with the rest of the class!”
Blueblood opened his mouth, letting the small paintbrush tumble out onto the yellow plastic tray. The handle landed in the tiny cup of water, sending some of the clear liquid flying onto the nearby paints. His smock and hat were covered with a rainbow cascade of paint colors, all from the many, many foals that had worn them before. Unlike the rest of his classmates, he had somehow managed to get through the entire activity without getting so much as a bit of brown or red or green on his protective gear, and especially not on his coat.
Miss Brightly pointed a hoof at the class’ pink filly. “Cherry, would you like to share what you drew?”
The filly yelped excitedly and hoisted up a small bit of construction paper. On it was a red blob nestled upon six chubby black sticks. “It’s a ladybug!”
The entire class politely clapped and celebrated the newest piece of art to enter Equestria, even if the foals could tell drawing wasn’t going to be Cherry’s special talent. Miss Brightly gave her usual condescending smile and expression of gratitude before turning to Orange Peel. “And what wonderful thing do you have for us?”
She immediately regretted asking the question once she saw the colt’s “masterpiece.”
Over a dozen small circles with ovals attached, probably ponies, were all turned upside down. Small, red lines overlapped with the circles, stretching down until they came to an end at big blots of paint. And standing over the ponies was another such figure, a big grey block sticking out of his mouth. “I had to draw something I liked, so I drew me taking out everypony I disliked.” His eyes drifted towards the rather disturbed Blueblood and Ribbon. “And I mean everypony.”
Miss Brightly sighed. She could already see the announcement for the upcoming parent-teacher conference. “Orange Peel, there are things that are classroom appropriate, and things that aren’t. Do we need to talk about it again?”
Orange Peel’s smile faded in the face of his teacher’s disapproval. His ears folded downwards as he sank down in his chair. “No, Miss Brightly.”
Miss Brightly shook her head sadly. This was far from the first time she had this problem with Orange Peel, and yet there was precious little she could do about it. Given who his father was, it was a miracle she could even keep him inside during recess without getting fined, or fired, or left in a dirty alley to die. “Just remember your lesson this time. If you do anything like this again, I’m afraid I will have to call your parents.”
Her stern lecture done, the teacher turned about until she was facing Ribbon. She gave the usual call for the filly to share her work with the rest of the class, and she complied. The newest picture showed what looked like three while ovals, outlined in yellow, with what looked like little red flowers adorning the sides and two ponies standing on top. “It’s a wedding cake mom and dad made! They’re delivering it to a wedding today.”
The entire class clapped again, but this time the applause seemed much more genuine this time. Even Blueblood was amazed at how impressive the painting looked, especially when it was created with non-toxic watercolor paints etched out by a young foal. Granted, the cake looked like it was about to tip over, and the ponies on top looked like they had been melted and dipped in butter before being set in place, but still it wasn’t bad.
“Very good, Ribbon!” said Miss Brightly. “What a lovely…”
Before her praise could continue, however, the teacher finally noticed something rather off with the final product. There, tucked away in the far corner with the smallest of strokes, was a few tiny splotches of two figures, probably ponies. One of them had wings and the horn, while the other looked like it was in pain. “Um…Ribbon? What’s this?”
Confused, Ribbon spun the picture back towards her. When her eyes managed to catch the spot she had pointed at, she shook her head and shrugged. “I don’t know. I just…painted that, I guess.”
A small part of Miss Brightly wanted to continue this line of questioning, but her blood was still running hot from having to deal with Orange Peel’s orgy of death. “Well, it’s still a very lovely picture. Thank you for sharing it with us.” Ribbon’s face sprouted a massive grin, her newborn ego eagerly swallowing up every last bit of praise thrown in her direction.
“And how about your picture, Leon?” Miss Brightly turned towards Blueblood, who slid back in his seat in surprise. “Do you have anything to share?”
Slowly, Blueblood flipped over his own contribution to Equestria’s art galleries: a picture of two big ponies, both Unicorns, standing over a small colt. The images were easy enough to pick out, despite Blueblood losing many of his higher motor skills in the transformation. “It’s a family picture,” he muttered.
The class erupted in a small clap, slow and uneasy. Blueblood grimaced as he slowly set the paper back down. Wonderful. I take Art History for three semesters, and I get outshined by a pony that just barely knows what the color blue is.
----------
Celestia was halfway through the latest recruitment sheets when she heard the knock on her office door. She looked up from her paperwork, her quill still busily signing away beneath her. “Yes?”
A familiar voice answered from the other side. “I-It’s Ruby Dream, Your Highness. You summoned for me?”
A smile spread across Celestia face, while at the same time her horn began to glow with a golden light. A similar aura spread over the door handle and slowly pulled it open, allowing Ruby Dream access to the office. Once the mare was inside, the door was pushed shut, the magical light vanishing as quickly as it had appeared. “Once again, I appreciate your understanding in this whole situation, Miss Dream. I know we all have a lot to accomplish today, so I shall try to be as brief as possible.”
“Understood,” said Ruby. “H-How can I help you?”
Celestia clapped her forehooves together and placed the pair under her chin. “You are a family mare, correct?”
Ruby cocked her head in confusion. “Your Highness?”
Celestia let out a mournful sigh. “Things have not been going so well between Luna, Blueblood and I. I take it you heard about yesterday’s incident.” Ruby nodded. “The problem I see is that the three of us need to grow closer as a family again. That’s why I was hoping to get your input. I want to plan a family activity for this afternoon.”
“Oh,” Ruby muttered. “W-Well, I’ll see if I can help, but something like that is different from one pony to another. I mean, what Lofty, Vantage and I like to do would probably be different from what Your Majesties would find appropriate.”
Celestia lowered her hooves back to the floor and stood up. After stretching a little to get the blood pumping again, she levitated up a small notepad and her quill. “I figured as such. Still, some input on what would be most helpful. Now, what does your family like to do together?”
Ruby tapped her chin, her eyes rolling upwards in thought. “Hmm…well, Lofty loves playing outside. Vantage and I have taken her camping every year since she got over her Premature Flying Syndrome.” She chuckled nervously. “I swear that filly is just crazy about mountains. She just can’t wait until she’s old enough to fly to the top of the Magichorn…alone…probably without her coat…where she’ll freeze to death…”
The mare’s breathing gradually became sharper and more labored the longer she went on; where it not for Celestia immediately recognizing the signs of hyperventilation and levitating her emergency paper bag so she could start blowing it up like a balloon, Ruby would have entered an almost total shutdown. The Princess slowly walked over, her face twisted in worry. “A-Are you all right, Miss Dream?”
“I-I’m fine, now,” the mare gasped. Her features were still puffed and pale from her sudden outburst, her wings appeared to be pointing downward, and the fur along her back was still standing on end like a thousand little pieces of razor wire, but at least she no longer looked like she was about to explode twice. “Anyway, something outdoors might work.”
Now satisfied that her sister’s personal assistant wasn’t going to die in the middle of her office, Celestia let out a sigh of relief and resumed tapping her chin. “A camping trip would be a little excessive. Neither Luna or I could stay away from the office for that long.”
“Well, there’s also sports.” Ruby tapped the ground with her right forehoof. “Vantages loves to watch the Cloudsdale Thunderbolts whenever they come to town.” She grimaced as yet another terrible memory came back. “Of course, he then had to go wandering into the wrong side of the stadium wearing that jersey, and…”
“Yes, yes, I remember that.” Celestia shuddered, her mind retracing the day she almost banned all sports leagues from Equestria. “Still, that would be a rather long-winded event. And besides, Luna was never much of a baseball fan.”
“And then there’s always board games,” Ruby said. “Lofty is a champion at Chutes-And-Ladders.”
“I…think I’ll make that a last resort,” Celestia said. The last thing I need is to get my flank kicked again because dice hate me.
Then the idea hit her. She removed her hoof from her lower lip and smiled towards Ruby. “What about a picnic? It’s a lovely day, after all.”
Ruby rubbed the back of her neck. “Actually, that doesn’t sound too bad. Shall I tell the kitchens to begin preparations?”
“Actually…” Celestia levitated over a large book, its edges yellowed with age. “I have a different idea.”
As the princess slowly turned the aged pages, Ruby slowly walked around her until she could make out the title of the ancient book. The moment she recognized exactly what this forbidden tome was, she recoiled back several steps in complete horror, her wings extended. “Th-That’s a cookbook!”
“Hmm?” Celestia looked up from her reading material, a look of puzzlement on her face. “Why yes, it is. It was given to me by one of my former chefs only a century ago, after she had retired. I used to cook meals for the two of us, but I’ve been so busy for the last thousand years that I haven’t even been able to get into a kitchen. Well, except for that one time, when we hosted the Zebra Delegation.” She grimaced as she remembered that terrible night. “And that’s why I am not making soup again.”
“Heh…yeah,” Ruby muttered. “B-But if you’re cooking, then what about the rest of today’s schedule? We have court in two hours.”
Celestia shook her head. “Believe me when I say I won’t be neglecting my duties. I want you to bring our reports on the upcoming Dragon Migration, the proposal for the irrigation system for the Trottingham province, and the renovation plans for Canterlot’s Old Quarter to the kitchens, and then go prepare the court. I shall be there exactly as needed, and will perform my duties as needed, even if it means I have to rush the dinner a little.”
Ruby wanted to say something else, most likely something about how rushing cooking tended to end in tears and how this entire plan was insane, but her desire to remain employed overshadowed her common sense. “Very well, Your Highness. I shall see you in a few minutes.”
The Pegasus gave one last bow and headed through the door. As the entrance closed behind her, she could just barely hear Celestia mutter something about potato salad…
----------
Lofty leaned against the ribbon-wearing tree, while her friends looked over the birthday acquisitions she had managed to bring to school. “So, what do you think? Pretty cool, huh?”
Buttons lifted up the figure of Darklord Koruby, archnemesis of the Amazing Amethyst and bearer of enough spikes to gouge a hundred eyeballs. “I…guess they’re okay. I mean, we did see you open them up, remember?”
Ribbon fumbled her hooves around Super Cheerleader Daring-Do. “Did this actually happen in the books? I don’t think dad ever got to that chapter.”
“It didn’t,” said Blueblood. “They had a leftover mold from some other line of dolls that weren’t selling, so they just reused it on the Daring-Do toys so they could justify how much it cost.” The colt grinned at his knowledge of the toy market…until he saw the fillies all eyeing him in puzzlement. “I mean, that’s what my mom said when I asked her.”
“Who cares if it did?” Gusty snapped. All the ponies in attendance spun around to the growling, sulking filly. “I just tried counting all these things, and I can’t ! You have too many Daring-Do toys!”
Lofty recoiled in shock. “W-What?”
“You have so many that I can’t even keep track of them all!” Gusty’s lower lips twisted into a ridiculous pout. “Daring-Do was my thing. I was the one that was supposed to have all the toys and sets, not you! Now…now I have nothing…”
Blueblood groaned. He had seen ponies throw fits over everything, from losing a bunch of land grants to families they hated to arguments over pizza toppings, but he had never seen anypony whine about something this…trivial. It certainly didn’t help that the fillies seemed to be buying into her argument; Lofty looked like she had just been accused of murdering Princess Celestia herself, while Ribbon and Buttons looked upon her like she was some kind of glory-hogging monster. “Gusty…she has exactly five Daring-Do toys here.”
Gusty’s lips drooped into a small droll, her eyes slowly shifting back towards the toys. She mouthed her count to herself, tapping her forehooves together to the kind of tune schoolfoals learn to keep track of their letters and numbers. By the time she was finally done, her very eyes quivered with shame. “Oh…um, sorry. I…guess I forgot how to count.”
The confession was all it took to knock Lofty out of her down mood. She shrugged at the offending Unicorn. “No problem. So, you guys still want to play? If so, come on! We gotta get this adventure going!”
The foals looked amongst each other before voicing their agreement to the proposition. One by one, they knelt over and assumed their usual positions. It was right as Blueblood was reaching for Ahuizotl that he heard the sound of six pairs of hooves approaching.
“Well, well, what do we have here?”
The five hopped to their hooves and turned towards the source of the noise. Sure enough, standing before them was their old nemesis, Orange Peel. “What do you want, Orange?” asked Gusty.
“Oh, nothing at all.” The colt and his cohorts quickly resumed their usual circling strategy; if Blueblood didn’t know better, he would have assumed that it was the one trick they knew. “We were just wondering how the biggest losers in this school wasted their recess. Seriously, Daring-Do? You actually like those books?”
“Sh-Shut up!” Lofty snapped.
“Um…girls?” Ribbon said shyly. “Perhaps we shouldn’t…”
Smokey feigned shock. “Hey, the orphan’s trying to say something!”
The four fillies and token colt’s eyes popped open, mostly from the sheer stupidity of the insult. “Orphan? Really?” asked Lofty. “Is that the best you can come up with today?”
Orange Peel shook his head at their befuddlement, his grin slowly changing to that of a sadistic executioner about to behead his latest victim. “Haven’t you ponies ever seen her parents? They’re Earth ponies, not Unicorns!”
“So?” Gusty snapped. “Not all ponies have two Unicorns for parents, and they still have horns! Why is Ribbon different?”
“She has two Earth ponies for folks!” said Smokey. “What sense does that make?”
Ribbon’s initial shock gradually gave way to a sinking depression. “Th-That’s not true!”
Orange Peel raised a hoof to his chin briefly, stroking it like somepony would stroke a handlebar moustache. “You know, you’re right. Maybe you aren’t an orphan. Maybe your real parents are still around, and just didn’t want you. So, they threw you in a dumpster outside that stupid bakery.”
Buttons gasped. “Th-That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard!”
Gusty instinctively charged towards the vile fiend, only to be blocked off by Snowball. Every step she made, the colt matched perfectly. Enraged, she spun about to give her opponent a buck.
“I wouldn’t do that,” Smokey shouted. “You wouldn’t want to get in more trouble, Miss Smash-Smashey-Breaks Stuff, do you?”
By the time her foal brain had fully internalized what he had said, her hind legs were already rearing up for a strike. The sudden shock of reality caused her to tumble to the ground, her weight being far too much for her forelegs to hold up for so long. “Aw, what’s the matter?” Snowball taunted. “Is the little filly too much of a pansy to stand up?”
Lofty was the next to charge, taking up a position between the downed Gusty and distraught Ribbon. “Alright, I’ve put up with your stupidity for all of two months now, and I’ve had enough! You are the meanest, smelliest stupid-head in the history of ponydom, and it’s about time somepony put their hoof in your mouth!”
The three bullies feigned a horrified gasp at the prospect. “Oh no, some stupid filly’s gonna beat us up?” said Snowball. “Celestia forbid she ruin her hooficure. Oh wait, that’s right, this is Lofty we’re talking about!” And he would have continued his line of mockery, had Buttons not raced over and, in a maneuver she had no doubt experienced many a time herself, put a hoof over his own mouth to keep him quiet.
Still, Lofty seemed completely unfazed. “Hah! Your words mean nothing to me! I am a student of the great Fluttershy, tamer of beasts and defeater of dragons! Do you think your puny little-”
Orange Peel cocked his head. “Fluttershy? Who in Equestria is that?”
Lofty’s brave sneer slowly slithered downward before resting as a shocked frown. “You know, Fluttershy. The pony who saved Equestria from Nightmare Moon and Discord. She defeated a dragon and a cockatrice. You know, her.”
“Hmph, you’d think I’d have heard about her if she was so important.” Orange Peel’s evil grin continued to grow as Lofty’s own confidence gradually eroded. “Then again, I guess a stupid little pony like you would be the perfect hanger-on for another no-name pony like…what’s her name?”
“FLUTTERSHY!”
Lofty’s tiny legs shook, her eyes clammed shut to fight back the frustration welling up inside. Gusty had managed to climb back to her hooves, but she only served to glance about the untouchable beings. And lastly, Ribbon and Buttons were huddled together, the former crying on the latter’s withers. In short, Orange Peel had managed to destroy them all without so much as a buck. Blueblood, meanwhile, could only watch the eerily familiar scene…
----------
Blueblood couldn’t decide what was colder: the snow outside, or the certain doom he faced at his parents’ hooves. The duo had managed to catch him skipping out on another boring history lesson, and by this point in the chase, his tutor had no doubt already left in a huff. He would be back the next day, of course. They always were. But for the time being, he was still safe from the horrors of the Paleopony Period.
Unfortunately, no force on Equestria could protect him from what was to come if either parent caught him. His hinder had already known the switch, the horseshoe, and of course the bare hoof, and he dreaded to ponder what instrument his parents would dig up next. He had to escape before they jumped all the way to axes or swords.
Fortunately, he knew the way into Canterlot Castle like the back of his fetlock. The guards, having no real love for his parents to begin with, gladly allowed him access to the castle’s inner sanctum. From there, he just had to loop around through the kitchens and to the courtyard, where the happier foals would actually be enjoying this wintery day. It had been so long since he had last played in snow that he had forgotten what the white stuff even felt like.
With a final rush of victory, the colt charged through the kitchen doors…
“Winged freak!”
And in an instant, he was glad he arrived when he did.
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, his only friend amongst the young nobility and Princess of Roam, was huddled so low to the ground she almost appeared to be melding into the stone itself. Above her stood none other than Lemon Lime, heir of the House of Frazzleberry. Blueblood’s blood ran colder than the snow itself as he thought of all the times that idiot had assaulted either he or his cousin.
The bully and his cohorts, all hoofpicked disciples from the rest of the noble houses, closed in on the frightened and confused filly. She tried to pull her jacket over her head, but the garment was simply too tight to make it all the way up. “I-I’m not a…”
“Why do you think your parents left you?!” Lime shouted. “They knew they couldn’t take care of a pony with wings AND a horn AND run a kingdom!”
“No, that’s not true!” Cadance shouted. Blueblood winced as he saw the amount of fog coming from her mouth; evidently, she was breathing very, very hard. “They said it was because I’m special!”
“And that’s why Princess Celestia wants to get rid of you!” shouted one of the accompanying bullies. Blueblood couldn’t make out who he was, but it didn’t really matter. Lime had most of the foals under his hoof, anyway.
“Sh-She said she was trying to get them to…to…take me back…” Cadance’s voice dropped down to the quietest levels Blueblood had ever heard. It was amazing he could even make out what she was saying from his position.
Lemon Lime turned back to his cohorts. “You know, I think she’s a little too hot with that jacket on. How’s about we cool her off?”
The other foals all cackled with cartoonishly evil glee before turning to the patches of snow around them. Slowly, they began to roll and pat the mounds into tight little balls, a few even slipping in a pebble or two just in case. Cadance tried to break into a gallop, but she still wasn’t used to operating in the kind of cold Canterlot got in the winter and slipped on the frozen ground.
From his vantage point, Blueblood watched and fumed. Something inside him curled with rage at the sight before him, a feeling he had never experienced in his entire life. There was only one way to end Lemon Lime’s reign of terror…
The colt quickly galloped out of the kitchen, his winter horseshoes moving perfectly across the frozen grass. He stopped only when he was standing directly in front of his downed cousin. Lime and his groupies immediately stopped in alarm; none of them had expected Blueblood to show up, nor did they like much what usually followed him.
“And just do you think you’re doing, Lemon?!” Blueblood snapped.
In the moment it took Blueblood to utter those words, the baronet had managed to recover his faculties just enough to form a sneer. The others, however, retained their shocked looks, at least for a while longer. “What, no Celestia to save you, Bluey?”
“I don’t need my aunt here to deal with you.” Blueblood looked back at his frightened cousin. Cadance’s shivering was already beginning to lessen at the sight of her big cousin; even so, her eyes were still feared with abject fear of the monster before them. Still, Blueblood managed to force a murderous grin as he turned back to his opponent…
----------
Blueblood knew what he had to do. There was only one way to shut down Orange Peel without bloodshed. All he had to do was pray to Celestia that he would be dumb enough to take the bait.
The colt slowly strode towards his adversary, taking extra time to add just the right hint of swagger to every trot. Buttons moved to stop him from perishing as well, but Ribbon’s grip on her was ironclad. Orange Peel and his cohorts were so busy laughing that they didn’t even notice Blueblood getting close to them until their orange leader could feel his hot breath on his nose. “Congratulations. You teased a bunch of little foals. How wonderful for you.”
Orange Peel hopped back a few steps, both from the shock of Blueblood sneaking up on him and from the simple act of being talked back to. Snowball and Smokey quickly folded back alongside him, just in case this stupid pony tried anything funny. Sensing his opening, the prince went on the offensive. “So, do you enjoy being a bully?”
“Well…yeah, I…” The orange colt quickly shook his head and hopped back forward, landing directly in front of Blueblood. “Wait a second! Yeah, of course I love beating stupid fillies like you down! It’ll probably be my special talent!”
“So, your special talent is making foals cry?”
Smokey snickered a little at the jab, stopping only when his boss gave him a little “jab” of his own. The grey colt grimaced and rubbed his right foreleg in shock. “What was that for?”
“You guys are supposed to be helping me here!” said their fearless leader. He pointed a hoof in Blueblood’s direction. “What, do you want the fillies to win?”
“Those ponies weren’t doing anything to you,” said Blueblood. “All we have done is tried to stay out of your way, but you just can’t leave us alone. You know, I actually think you like us. You really do want to be friends, after all.”
Orange Peel let out a low growl, followed by an angry snort. Both Snowball and Smokey quickly began to backpedal just in case he exploded twice. “You’re so wrong. Why would I even want to be friends with a bunch of dorky ponies like you? All you ever do is play with dolls and try to get that ribbon out of the tree.” He paused. “I mean, pudding is nice and all, but why share it with fillies?”
Blueblood rolled his eyes. “I see. Well, if you don’t want to be friends, then why are you bothering us? We all have better things to do with our time than make fun of ponies we don’t like.”
Orange Peel opened his mouth to answer, but found none willing to come out. All he could do was shake even more. The fillies, meanwhile, just stared on in shock. Normally, anypony talking with somepony like Peel would either be running away in tears or beating him upside the head with his own saddlebags by this point, and yet Blueblood actually seemed to be in control of the conversation.
“B-But…I…”
Blueblood lowered his head until their noses were almost touching. Smokey and Snowball pulled themselves back even farther away; even at their age, they could see that bad things were about to go down. “The way I see it, you have only two choices. You can either start treating us nicely, maybe even become friends with us, or you can choose just to leave us alone. You can have all the fun you want, but just stop picking on us. Now, what will you do?”
The stunned colt made no response at first. His body ceased to shake, even as his brow curled up even more in frustration. He looked at the fillies, all of whom now looked far more composed than before, and then turned back to Blueblood. “Now look here, you…you dummies!”
Blueblood grinned. Good, he’s shutting down. Now I can…
“Dummies?” shouted Lofty. “That’s the best you can come up with? Wow, you really are stupid.”
The grin vanished. Oh no…
“I-I’m not…” Orange Peel stammered.
Gusty smiled and walked up next to Blueblood. “You know, I think she’s right. You are just a big, dumb, wimpy, worthless waste of a horse!”
In an instant, the rage within Orange Peel came burning back to the forefront. Smokey galloped forward to pull his boss back, but before he could stop him from lashing out, an orange hind leg bucked him right in the chest, sending the colt rolling to the ground. Lofty charged up to Blueblood’s side, while the white colt couldn’t help but feel but feel a cold shiver run down his spine.
With a primal scream, Orange Peel charged forward and pushed both forehooves towards Gusty. The filly, sensing her opponent’s oncoming assault, leaned down to counter with a forehead to the lower chin, while Lofty prepared to hop over and slam into him once Gusty had made contact. Orange Peel’s hooves closed in…
And slammed right into Blueblood’s side, just as he had succeeded in pushing Gusty out of the way. The white filly stumbled for a few steps, but managed to remain standing. Blueblood, on the other hoof, fell flat on his side and stopped after a few rolls. Lofty was so surprised by the sudden turn that she dared not make her running leap just yet.
Peel huffed and puffed, but still managed a small laugh. He didn’t even notice the sky around him suddenly growing much darker, nor the other ponies huddling in terror. Not even his cohorts fleeing for their very lives could break his gaze away from this glorious moment. “Hah! I knew you were a wuss the whole time, you…”
“ORANGE PEEL!”
The thrill of victory, that glorious feeling that had just moments ago been running through the back of that villainous colt’s brain, quickly shriveled up into the agony of defeat. Slowly, he turned around until he was face-to-face with the being that had spoken his name. Standing above him was Miss Brightly, and she was not happy.
“Um…hello, Miss Brightly,” Orange half-heartedly mumbled. “H-How are you?”
When she spoke next, her voice was heavy with a mixture of judgment and concern. Blueblood shivered as he listened to the words; they were delivered in the same way his own punishment was only a few days prior. “I see our talk last time wasn’t enough. I’m sorry, but if you will not stop bullying these ponies, I have no choice.”
Mortal terror crept across Orange Peel’s face. “N-No…you don’t mean…”
Miss Brightly nodded, sealing the little foal’s fate. “I’m afraid a mere note home will not be enough. This time, we will be having a parent-teacher conference.”
“NOOOOOO!” the colt bellowed. He wrapped his legs around Miss Brightly and clung as tightly as a barnacle to a ship. “Please please please! I’ll be good from now on! I won’t pick on anypony or act mean or anything! Just don’t do thaaaaaaaat!”
Even as her student cried and screamed like a frightened animal, Miss Brightly turned her attention back to her downed pupil. Blueblood had pulled himself back up, seemingly unhurt. “Are you all right, Leon?”
“Y-Yeah,” Blueblood muttered. “I think I’ll be fine.”
Miss Brightly smiled, nodded, and finally levitated Orange Peel off her leg and into the sky. “Now, shall we be going to the Principal’s office?”
And with that, the teacher and her hostage walked away, the foal crying over his doomed future. Once they were well out of earshot, Gusty spun her head towards Blueblood, her lips curled into a pout. “I could have taken him.”
“And gotten in trouble with him?” Blueblood said. “I was trying to avoid a fight, not start one.”
“And you’d just let him walk all over us?!”
“He was almost ready to leave!”
The quarrel would have continued “Hey, Ribbon? Are you all right?”
The filly and the colt turned back to Ribbon and Buttons. The former’s crying had dwindled to a few dry sobs and a runny nose, but she still looked more than a little distraught. “I…I’m not adopted. I’m not.”
“Of course you’re not,” said Buttons. “That’s just Orange Peel being Orange Peel. Two weeks ago he said my mom was a drunk, but that’s impossible. You can’t drink a pony.”
The others chuckled, with Blueblood and Lofty’s laughter being especially nervous. The three standing farthest away trotted forward, stopping only when the whole group formed a complete circle. “Look, it doesn’t matter what he says,” said Gusty. “He’s just a big jerk, that’s all.”
“And I know two Earth ponies can have Unicorn babies,” said Blueblood.
“We’re your friends,” said Lofty. “We’ll be here for you no matter what.”
Ribbon hicked and sobbed, but still forced a smile. “Th-Thanks. You ponies are the best friends I ever had…”
And thus came the inevitable hug, all five coming together in perfect harmony. Well, until Blueblood realized just who he was becoming friends with, which sent him recoiling in shock. The others would have asked about his response, but Gusty and Lofty were now trying to pat down the diseases they had just contracted while Ribbon and Buttons were preparing emergency cutie shots. And then the bell rang, bringing the awkward scene to a close.
----------
Shining Armor and Cadance slowly walked through the gardens and pathways that made up this side of the castle, taking as long as possible before they finally reached the Captain’s private quarters. The two idly chatted about a few minor topics, ranging from the weather to the quality range of different styles of horseshoes. It wasn’t until they were near the main Castle Garden that Cadance finally asked one of the big questions. “So, did anything interesting happen while I was gone?”
Shining Armor shrugged. “Not too much. You probably heard about Princess Celestia’s vacation, correct?”
Cadance giggled and rolled her eyes. “It’s about time she took one. In all the years I’ve known her, she refused to even take an hour off. It’s like she thought the whole planet would collapse if she so much as breathed the wrong way.”
“It looks like we both missed Twiley,” Shining sighed. “Apparently she was here to help Luna keep the country running. I think our little filly has a future in politics.”
Cadance snorted. “Don’t even joke about that.”
Shining Armor gave a louder, more raucous laugh, his mind reeling at the very idea of Twilight holding any sort of political office. He gave her two or three minutes, tops, before her head exploded from the sheer amount of stress involved. Still, despite their little jabs at his baby sister, this was one of the most pleasant moments he had experienced in a very long time. It had been so long since he had gotten the chance to spend any time with his fiancé, especially with the seemingly endless chain of disasters that precluded Celestia’s regression.
Now he finally had a chance to…
“I also heard about Blueblood.”
And in an instant, Shining Armor’s romantic thoughts were trampled by his lover’s words. She knows. “I know it’s hard to understand, but…”
Cadance shook her head sadly. “No, I could see it was coming. He had done so much wrong these last few years that something finally had to break. I just want to know where he was banished to.”
“As far as I…” Shining Armor’s face drooped slightly. “Banished?”
“Well, that is the usual punishment for assaulting royalty, isn’t it?”
The two stopped by one of the castle’s ponds. There, a few stone benches had been laid out for visiting guests and the princesses themselves when they needed a break from the usual insanity of running a country. Sighing with a slight case of exhaustion and a great deal of concern for her wayward cousin, Cadance laid herself across the cool rocky surface. Shining Armor just sat on his haunches on the grass next to her; any appreciation he may have had for stone fixtures had dried up since his times sleeping on hard concrete floors at the Academy.
The two stared at the small pond, watching a few ducks fly down and begin pecking at the water. When Cadance spoke next, her voice was hushed with a thousand grievances. “I’m sorry. I know you never got along with him. I’m not even sure if I’m ready to forgive him for what he did to us. I just wish I could have at least seen him again before he left.”
Shining Armor quickly slipped his face back into “stoic guard” mode. It was the only way to keep himself from bursting out laughing. “Well, perhaps you will soon. Princess Celestia’s pretty quick to forgive, after all.”
“It’s not her I’m worried about,” Cadance said. “It’s Princess Luna. I mean, I’ve only known her for a year now, but she’s always come off as rather…scary. If Blueblood did something to make her angry, there’s no telling what horrible thing she might do to him.”
Shining Armor tugged at the collar of his armor, doing his best not to appear openly nervous in the presence of his betrothed. “Well, I’ve worked with Princess Luna these last few nights, and she’s actually been very…nice.” He cleared his throat and shuffled a bit, the joints of his armor clanging together as he did so. “And besides, he’s a traitor to the crown now. Why would you feel so upset if something happened to him?”
Cadance’s eyes widened with shock. Her head snapped around towards her fiancé, even as fatigue slowly wormed its way through her body. “Because he’s my big cousin! As terrible as he can be, I still care for him just like Twilight cares for you. And if anypony were to actually try and, say, torture him over this, I don’t know how I could look at that pony the same way again.”
Armor’s face went flush, in spite of his best efforts to remain stoic. “I…Suppose he really did do something nasty to somepony, and they decided to…you know, teach him a lesson? What would you do then?”
The princess shrugged. “I guess I would have to tell them how poor their behavior is. After a small talking-to, they’ll realize that what they did was wrong and will never do it again.”
Shining Armor whinnied in relief. Sweet, sweet Cadance, so trusting and naïve. I should have known you wouldn’t…
“Of course, if somepony I actually knew and loved tried to do something like that, I don’t think I could ever look at them the same way again. In fact, I would probably have to spend some time away from them for a while, at least until I could look at them again without remembering that incident.”
Shining’s swelling of confidence went pop against the pins of Cadance’s words. “I…see.” Gotta change the subject gotta change the subject “By the way, I hope you don’t have plans for dinner, because Princess Luna managed to secure us dinner reservations at the Black Pearl.”
Cadance’s ears perked right back up at the name. “The Black Pearl? You mean the Black Pearl? The same one you have to reserve a decade in advance?”
“The exact same,” said Shining Armor.
“Th-That’s wonderful.” Cadance leaned over and nuzzled her future hubby on the cheek, causing the mighty Captain of the Guard to blush like a schoolfoal on Hearts and Hooves Day. “I guess Twilight was right about you. You really are the nicest, bestest pony around.”
Shining gave a dry, playful snort. “Oh, it’s nothing like that. I’m just trying to make sure you feel welcome all over again.”
The two ponies rose back to their hooves, their eyes locked in an almost unbreakable passion. The two nuzzled each other on the nose, followed by a few kisses on the mouth and a heavy, powerful hug. After so long apart, they were together again, and nothing was going to ruin this moment for them. Not even Blueblood.
----------
Yet another school day came to an end, and yet another tidal wave of little foals came charging onto the streets of Canterlot, shoving aside any adult not fast enough to escape their tiny hooves. Blueblood himself walked amongst the crowd, his mind still reeling from the day’s events. He was so confused by everything that had happened to him that he didn’t even notice the massive stallion in front of him until he had crashed into his well-chiseled foreleg.
The impact sent Blueblood falling back on his rear. He looked up in surprise, catching the attention of the pony he had just bumped into. It was a miracle he didn’t wet himself once he realized exactly who this was.
“You need to watch where you’re going, little colt.”
He was now sizably larger than him, but he could still recognize him.
“Here, let me help you.”
From within the stallion’s force field, Blueblood managed to connect the color. He had seen this so many times before. This was the worst thing that could have happened to him, at least in this form.
He was now standing in front of Baron “Lemon Lime” Frazzleberry, his old nemesis.
“Leon!”
Blueblood and Frazzleberry looked out towards the street just in time to see Sky Bloom gallop up to the two. “My goodness, are you all right?”
The colt slowly brushed the front of his coat, trying his best to look nonchalant about the whole ordeal. “Y-Yes, mother, I’m fine.”
The mare let out a sigh of relief before turning back to the noblepony. “I am so sorry, sir. I promise, it won’t happen again.”
“No, it’s all right,” said the Baron. “I’m used to being crashed into by now.” He turned his attention back to the still-stunned colt. “And you need to be more careful next time. Somepony could have gotten hurt.”
Blueblood silently nodded and stepped aside, allowing Frazzleberry access to the school grounds themselves. The stallion slowly trotted down the concrete pathway before turning into the Main Office and vanishing inside. “So…do you know who that was?” asked Sky Bloom.
Blueblood nodded his head. “Baron Frazzleberry.”
“And what is he doing at this school?”
Blueblood shrugged. “I have no clue, and I really don’t want to find out. So what say we just head home and forget we even ran into him?”
----------
Blueblood was halfway through one of the few books he had managed to smuggle out of the forbidden archive (why they didn’t just prevent him from climbing down again was a mystery) when he heard somepony knocking at his door. Sighing, he shoved the tome underneath his bed and trotted over to open the door.
Slowly, the colt managed to pull the wooden barrier open. Standing on the other end was one of the guards, a Pegasus, standing at full attention. “Can I help you?”
“Princess Celestia has requested your presence,” the guard said in a monotone. “I am here to escort you to the garden.”
Blueblood cocked an eye. “The garden? Why does she want me out there?”
The guard shifted uneasily, his mind barely able to withstand what Celestia was planning for the fallen prince. “She didn’t say. She just wanted me to make sure that you are out there as soon as possible.”
Blueblood sighed. The whole request still didn’t make much sense to him, but then again, he really wasn’t in a position to argue with Celestia. “Alright, just show me the way.”
----------
Blueblood’s eyes widened as he caught sight of his aunts. Princess Celestia lay on a red-checkered blanket, which was now spread across the grassy garden floor like a downed flag about to be stomped into submission. Princess Luna sat next to her, a large umbrella wrapping her entire body in shadows. Between them sat a wicker basket, its contents covered by a flipping wooden lip. The elder Princess just smiled at her young charge, while the younger appeared to not even notice he was there.
Celestia smiled at the nephew’s approach. “Good afternoon, Blueblood! Welcome home!”
Blueblood dared not move. His mind was completely unable to comprehend the series of events that could drive his aunts to behave in such a way. Surely Equestria was collapsing without either one on the throne? “I…Good afternoon. M-May I ask what is going on, exactly?”
“Oh, nothing.” Celestia’s smile only grew, further intensifying Blueblood’s distrust of her giddiness. “I just thought that the day I brought forth was so wonderful that we should enjoy a nice picnic.”
“A…picnic?” Blueblood cocked his head at the very notion of such a thing. He had been on a few, certainly, but this looked different from any he had seen before. For one thing, there was no bottle of wine resting nearby, ready to woo whatever lady companion Blueblood had deign to honor with his presence that day. And he would never have allowed anything that came in a wicker basket to defile his stomach.
Then again, he had never had one with Aunt Celestia. He could only spend time with her at night, just before she went to bed.
“So…what brought this on?” he asked, his voice barely carrying over his hoofsteps.
Celestia tilted her head and smiled. “Nothing, really. I just thought we could enjoy a nice, leisurely day outside once in a while. Luna and I have been trapped in there for so long that I barely even remembered how wonderful sunlight felt.” She turned to Luna. “Isn’t that right, sister?”
Luna’s lips curled into a pout. “No.”
Even from this distance, Blueblood could feel something radiating from his younger aunt, a sort of primordial power that told him not to approach her, lest he wish to end his miserable life so soon. Still, he couldn’t ignore the commands of Princess Celestia, so he had no choice but to take up a position next to her and pray to her that things would work out. “So, what happened with Cadance?”
“She and Shining Armor decided to have dinner at the Black Pearl.” Celestia laid herself on the ground and stretched out her limbs. All the tension in her lower body quickly evaporated as her muscles pulled and loosened. “It was their first night together again, after all, and they deserve some rest.”
----------
Shining Armor stared at the array of shiny, silvery utensils before him. There was anywhere from six to ten, their numbers seemingly multiplying the longer he stared at them. “So…which one was which again?”
Cadance pointed at the smallest of his forks. “That one is for your salad. The other one is for the main course. Now for your knives, one is your butter knife, one is for your meal, and the other is for…um…” She blushed. “I…can’t really remember.”
All around them, ponies from all walks of life munched away on their meals, chewing through salads, soups, sandwiches, and all other manner of delicacies. Everypony in the dining area was dressed in the finest clothes available, while the waiters and waitresses all wore brilliantly red uniforms. As it turned out, Celestia and Luna’s reserved table happened to be on a raised balcony overlooking the main dinner area, no doubt so they could address their subjects while chewing on tomatoes. Nevertheless, it still provided the two with a lovely view of the rest of the restaurant.
The two lovers looked over the railing, taking in the beautiful golden floor and black banisters decorating the lower level. Only Canterlot Castle could match this level of beautiful radiance, and even then only just. The spectacle was so lovely that the two could feel their hearts fluttering away as they caught their own lovely reflections on the polished surface
“Um…excuse me?”
The two broke away from staring at their own reflections. The waiter that had just intruded on their alone time cleared his throat one more time, and then levitated a pair of large bowls, both filled with a yellow-and-white soup, onto the table. “Your appetizers are ready. I shall be back with your main course shortly.”
“Thank you,” said Cadance. Shining Armor parroted her response a second later, thereby giving the waiter the signal to skedaddle. With the intruder gone from their relationship, the two were free to return to sipping wine, eating soup, and reminiscing about the old days.
----------
Blueblood winced as he bit into the bit of potato salad. His entire mouth burned with the taste of pepper and onions, tempered with the soul-crushing flavor of watery sour cream. “Well, what do you think?” Celestia asked. “This was the first time I’ve cooked in hundreds of years.”
I noticed that. “It’s…decent, I suppose.” Blueblood barely fought back a small gag; he had no desire to vomit in front of his aunt. “So, what else do you have planned for this?”
Celestia shrugged. “Not too much. Is it not enough to simply sit out here and enjoy a nice meal like a family?” She turned towards her sister. “And what about you, Luna? How was your day?”
The Moon Princess didn’t even look up from her untouched meal when she responded. “It was fine. I stared at the wall five hours straight, then contemplated throwing myself at the moon again.”
Celestia sighed and swallowed another bite of her sandwich. “Now come on, Luna. Why don’t you come out from under that umbrella and join the rest of us?”
“I am perfectly content where I am,” Luna grumbled. “But in truth, I would be much happier inside. May I please be excused?”
Celestia gave her head a firm, negative shake. “We’re enjoying a meal as a family, Luna. This is your little nephew, after all.”
“Don’t remind me.”
The Sun Princess sighed and scooped up another spoonful of salad. “Seriously, I don’t understand what’s wrong. I know you’re still angry about yesterday, but what happened has happened. All we can do is try to learn from the experience.”
Luna made no obvious response, her eyes still intently focused on her plate. Blueblood swallowed a bite of his tulip sandwich, his eyes warily locked on Celestia. “Wait, what happened yesterday?”
Celestia shook her head. “Did you know Miss Rarity of Ponyville came here yesterday?”
Blueblood nodded. “Yes, I know. We talked about what happened at the Gala, and…we apologized to each other.”
“Really?” A large smile formed across Celestia’s lips, while her wings arched out slightly in some small semblance of joy. “To be honest, I’m surprised things turned out as well as they did, then. Just a few weeks ago, you were practically begging me to take a torch to their entire town.” Her smile disappeared. “I don’t think I need to remind you just how horrible even suggesting a thing was.”
“Yes…I know,” Blueblood said sadly. “Still, I got a suit out of it. But…what happened to Aunt Luna?”
“She came back.”
Both the colt and the mare snapped their heads towards Princess Luna. Now free of the hypnotic traps of cold sandwiches and potato salad, she had finally managed to raise her eyes enough for everypony to actually see her face. Small tears ran down the corners of her cheeks, while a fiery red blush burned through her fur. “She went into my room, and told me I was a monster. After she left, I destroyed my room.”
Blueblood fell silent, if only because he couldn’t possibly comprehend a response to such a thing. Celestia slowly climbed to her hooves and began to approach her sister, only to recoil as the Night Mare jumped to her own hooves, knocking the umbrella away in the process. In the process, her hoof pulled at the blanket, sending all the foodstuffs tumbling over onto the ground. Gone was the dispassionate, almost completely withdrawn expression on Luna’s face; now, she appeared to be little more than a bundle of rage and adrenaline. “And then my sister, the same pony who said she loved me more than anything else in Equestria, betrayed me!
Celestia’s mouth slowly lowered in shock. “Wh-What are you saying?”
“You know exactly what I mean, sister!” Luna’s own voice dripped with raw hatred towards her bigger, meaner sibling. “This was supposed to be my day!”
“Yes, it was! I didn’t want to take it from you, but you weren’t well! I didn’t want you to go out there unless you could focus completely on your duties! You had a bad day yesterday! I just wanted you to get better!”
“BETTER?!” Blueblood could feel his breath curl as the ground vibrated from Luna’s voice. The colt quickly galloped and ducked for cover in a nearby bush, just in case the entire castle was sent crashing down around them. “Do you truly believe locking me out of my own position and treating me like…like an invalid would make anything better? My duties are all I have left!”
Celestia took a few steps back, her eyes widened with shock. “Luna…this was for your own good.”
“And dragging me out here was for my own good, as well? How about forcing me to spend time with the same nephew that assaulted you and insulted me? I suppose all that was for my ‘own good?!’ I thought you had changed, sister, but you are still the scheming, conniving, abusive troll you always were!”
Deep within Celestia’s heart, something snapped. Perhaps a valve closed the wrong way, or a tiny piece of cholesterol dislodged itself and floated onto her brain. Regardless of the reason, however, the poor Princess could take no more of her sister’s badgering. She backpedaled a few steps, took in a few sharp breaths, leveled her eyes at Luna…
And it was right then, at her absolute lowest moment, that her control broke completely. The first few tears fell, followed by the usual whimpering of the throat. From within his thorny confines, Blueblood’s jaw threatened to dislocate itself; only the threat of a prickly agony convinced him to keep his trap shut. Is she…crying?
“L-Luna,” Celestia whined. “This wasn’t a trick, I swear. I just wanted you to…”
Luna tried to raise her voice again, but any such thoughts died in her throat. No matter what she said, she couldn’t muster the urge to scream anymore, especially not with her sister crying like this. Still, she couldn’t help but remain more than a little enraged. “What did you really expect this to accomplish?”
“Luna…we are all family,” Celestia slowly said. “I only wanted to make sure that…that we could be a family…”
Luna’s pupils gradually vanished into the surrounding whiteness, while her wings slowly stood on end. Blueblood could feel himself growing ever more fearful for his life. “Family? Sister, how many times do I have to make this clear? I want nothing to do with that foal! He is a violent, mindless sociopath! How can you forgive him after he tried…to…?”
“We forgave you, didn’t we?”
As if a switch had been flipped, all the anger and hate Luna had been building up since the day began gradually vanished. Her pupils and wings returned to their proper positions, while her furious glare lessened into a mournful pout. Sensing her sister’s fall, Celestia resumed her slow approach. “Luna...I’m sorry I made you come here against your will. And I didn’t mean to make you feel inferior or isolated. I just wanted to do what was best for you.”
“And I…just wanted to do what was best for us,” Luna said sadly. “I’m sorry I ruined your picnic. You must have spent a lot of time preparing all this, and…you really did have good intentions.”
“And I’m sorry, too.”
The two Alicorns spun about towards the new voice. Beneath them stood Blueblood, his coat and hair covered in sticks, leaves, and splotches of red berries. “I…I mean, it’s probably my fault this all happened, and…sorry. I guess I never realized how much of a screw-up I was until now.”
The entire garden fell completely silent, so much so that a pony could actually hear the ants choking on Celestia’s potato salad. Everypony knew they had to say something – do something – just to raise the mood a little, and yet nopony could figure on just the right move to make. There were so many variables at play here, and with so many mixed emotions and broken hearts, not even the wisest of ponies could settle on the best solution to this mess.
That is, until Celestia finally gave in to total defeat. “Well, since the picnic went nowhere, there is one other family activity we could try…”
----------
Luna let out a great “HUZZAH!” as her little wagon landed on the space, her laughter echoing throughout the entire dining room. She quickly turned in her pile of paper bits to the bank and took her property card in return. At long last, she had every purple property in the game, which perfectly went with her collection of reds and greens. Her hotels and suburban neighborhoods were all thriving with new tenants, and with two ways to bypass the law, no prison could ever hold her. With a hoof in every corner of the board, she would soon rise to complete dominance in this contest of champions.
Sighing at his aunt’s seemingly guaranteed victory, Blueblood rolled the dice, landing on a “7.” He pushed his little thimble along the board, landing on the only railroad he lacked in his collection. Smiling in victory, he paid the fee, took his property card, and leaned back in smug victory. The world’s transportation system was now completely under his hoof, as were both the least and most expensive real estate on the market. His chain of luxury hotels were among the most expensive ever conceived, as just one stay could leave a pony scrambling in the gutters for spare bits. Soon, everything would fall right into place, and he would become the richest, most powerful pony in existence again.
As for Princess Celestia…she had exactly two bits left to her name, her lands all mortgaged or traded to her heartless competitors to pay the bills. She rolled her dice, moved her horseshoe down the appropriate spaces, and then set her pewter piece upon a red lot. Luna grinned and rubbed her forehooves together in glee. “So, it appears you are at an end, Celestia.”
Grumbling, Celestia scooped up the last of her money and handed them over to her younger sister. Once again, her younger sister had knocked her out of the game entirely, leaving her with worthless properties she didn’t even legally own anymore. “Very well, I know when I’m beaten. Good game, you two.”
“I’ve got to say, this was a much better idea than the picnic,” Blueblood said just before letting out a sigh. “Either way, though, I…thank you both for such a wonderful night.”
Celestia smiled and nodded, her eyes slowly sliding in Luna’s direction. The Alicorn was initially too busy counting up her gains to even notice what was going on, but after a few seconds of feeling uneasy she finally realized she was being watched. Slowly, she lifted her head from her money pile and locked eyes with the colt. “Yes?”
“I was wondering,” he asked. “Why did you want Miss Rarity to make me a new suit, anyway? I thought you hated me.”
I DO YOU LITTLE- “I…heard that was the custom these days,” Luna slowly said. “When a prisoner is released, they are given a new suit. I was just trying to save the middle pony and start measuring you for one, since apparently you will be…”
“B-But that’s for colts!” Blueblood said. “How is that going to help me once I’m an adult again?”
Luna’s eyes blinked six times in rapid succession. “W-Well…”
In desperation, she turned towards her older sister. Celestia had begun to lean closer to the table, her eyes as wide as a puppy dog’s as she watched Luna. Even from this distance, however, she could read exactly what Celestia wanted without as much as a single word. Just tell him the truth, little sister. Stop trying to bring him down and try to form a relationship.
Luna sighed and turned back to Blueblood. “Very well. The truth is-”
*KNOCK KNOCK*
All three turned towards the dining room doors. As if on cue, a voice called out from the other end. “Princess Celestia? It’s Shining Armor. Am I interrupting anything?”
Celestia slowly looked about the room, taking in the nonverbal responses of everypony around her. Blueblood and Luna looked confused and frightened; they knew who was with Shining Armor that night, and the former had a pretty clear idea of what awaited him once she found out. Alas, Celestia’s plan won out over her sympathy for her nephew. She cleared her throat and closed her eyes, changing her features back to her “ruling princess” mode. “Of course not. Please, come in.”
The two Alicorns and their Unicorn nephew simply watched helplessly as Cadance and Shining Armor entered the room. Shining’s stomach began to churn as well, his future looking more and more bleak as the night continued. After this, getting my silverware mixed up won’t seem like such a big deal.
Cadance’s jaw hung open slightly as she caught a glimpse of the strangely familiar-looking colt sitting before her. She raised a shaking hoof and pointed at the surprised foal. “A-Aunt Celestia? Who is this?”
Blueblood dared not answer, just in case the story he and his aunt gave didn’t match. Celestia raised a hoof to her chin and began to stroke, her eyes widening as she struggled to come up with just the right words to explain the situation. “W-Well, you see…”
“He’s Blueblood’s son!”
Everypony turned their gaze towards Shining Armor. The stallion scratched his blue mane nervously. “Th-That’s right, Blueblood had a colt before he got banished.”
Both Celestia and Luna glanced at each other for a moment, rolled their eyes at the frustration, and then turned back to the panicking Captain, shocked Princess, and horrified Blueblood. Cadance’s breathing slowed as she tried desperately to calm her jangled nerves. “Y-You mean, Blueblood had a foal? And he never told anypony else? This is just…”
“Actually, that isn’t completely accurate.” Celestia sighed and rose to her hooves, followed by Luna. The Night Mare simply remained silent as ever, watching the whole spectacle and waiting for her moment to strike. “I was trying to find a way to tell you all this, but I suppose it’s time you knew the whole truth. That colt is…”
“SO CUTE!”
Before Blueblood could retreat, Cadance lunged forward and scooped up the colt in her forehooves. The colt tried to break away, but his now-older cousin’s grip was stronger than any reinforced armor. Everypony else in the room wavered between adoration at the cuteness of the whole spectacle, and the horror of knowing just who Cadance was putting in a bear hug. “Um…Cadance, maybe you should set him down.”
The young mare nodded and set him back on the ground. Blueblood immediately rolled onto his back, gasping and wheezing for air, while his forehooves poked his undercarriage for any signs of broken ribs. Cadance smiled and ruffled the still-stunned foal’s hair. “Sorry, but you really do look so much like him.” She turned back to Celestia and Luna. “But, how did he keep him a secret so long?”
Celestia sighed. “Because, he’s not-”
“-Blueblood’s legitimate heir.”
Everypony’s eyes turned to Luna. The Moon Princess cleared her throat and continued. “You see, the colt is the result of an affair Blueblood had with one of the palace’s staff. Since conceiving a child outside of wedlock would hurt his personal reputation, he paid her to keep the affair quiet and raise the child as her own. After he was banished, however, she told us the entire tale and asked us to raise him as our own.”
“He’s really interested in the Royal Guard, so I’ve been training him every morning,” Shining Armor added. “It’s…part of a new program we’re trying out, where fillies and colts can see what it’s like to be a guardpony.”
Cadance raised an eyebrow at her fiancé. “That…sounds rather excessive.”
“B-But he’s amazing out there!” said Shining Armor. He quickly walked over and took a position next to Blueblood. The little colt’s eyes locked onto him with no small amount of contempt. “I don’t make him do any of the really hard stuff yet!”
“And I hope you never do,” said Cadance, “at least not until he’s old enough.” She gave the colt one last pinch on the cheeks before turning back to Princes Luna. “I also wanted to thank you for helping Shining Armor get those seats. Dinner was just wonderful.”
Luna smiled. “If there is anything else I can help you with, please feel free to ask.”
Cadance smiled and bowed to her ruling princess, an act that was quickly returned. She then gave the colt a wave goodnight and walked off into the distance, her knight in shining armor at her side. Once the doors were closed, and they were certain she wasn’t going to be poking her head back through, Celestia snapped her head towards her sister. “Why did you do that?”
“Why did you try to tell her the truth?” Luna responded. “Do you have any idea what she would have done if she found out?”
“Do you have any idea what she will do once she does learn the truth?”
Blueblood, meanwhile, just slowly sauntered off towards the door, pausing a bit before turning around. His eyes were still as wide as dinner plates, as if they had gotten trapped at that size in all the excitement. “If…If it’s all right, I think I’ll be taking a long, LONG bath and then going to bed. Thank you for a lovely dinner and a…nice game, but…I’m feeling a little unclean right now…”
And with that, Blueblood quickly galloped away, heading towards the royal washrooms to scrub this night from all memory. Once he was gone, Luna sighed. “I do not believe either of us won this evening.”
“It was never something to win to begin with,” said Celestia. “But for now, we have to start forming a consensus on Blueblood. We can’t keep him in limbo like this much longer. It wouldn’t be right to keep him like this.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
-AND-
A Wholly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Chapter Nine
As it had every morning since its founding, the Canterlot Royal Guard assembled in the Canterlot Castle Courtyard. Shining Armor, once again, stood at the forefront of the formation, eyeing his loyal guardponies with no small measure of pride. And, of course, Blueblood was still buried in the midst of the crowd, doing his best to ignore the overwhelming scent of sweat and tears emitting from every direction.
“That was good work this morning, gentleponies,” the Captain said. “Keep this up, and we’ll be more than ready to defend Canterlot from anything.” A small uproar of cheer emerged from the crowd, as well as the exasperated voice of a tiny colt.
The Captain slowly paced his way around the front of the crowds, his eyes scanning for the next group of ponies he had to speak to. “Now, we have a few new ponies standing with us today. On behalf of the Princesses Celestia and Luna, we welcome the mares and stallions that now stand amongst the ranks of Equestria’s bravest ponies.”
Another chorus of cheers and accolades echoed throughout the gathering, while more than a few ponies blushed unconsciously. Blueblood, however, raised an eyebrow as he examined the words more closely. Wait…is he using the same speech as before? Is he really that uncreative?
If Shining Armor had noticed this repetition, he appeared to make no motion to address it, nor did the guardponies whose lives he was entrusted with. “I just want you to remember a few things before you begin your normal duties. Being a member of Canterlot’s Royal Guard is not simply a matter of standing next to doors and looking important. Your job is to protect not only the Princesses and the ruling elite, but to provide support and security for Equestria at large.”
Blueblood let out a small groan, just barely audible to the ponies around him. A couple of the guards nearest to him glanced downwards at the colt, their eyes silently admonishing him for the interruption, but everypony else otherwise remained focused on Captain Armor. Well, here is comes. His amazing tale of bravery against a…
“Shining Armor!”
Everything in the courtyard ceased as Princess Cadance approached. Even Shining Armor himself reared back in surprise before blushing like a schoolcolt. Blueblood, fearful of another hugging attack, hunched down as low as his stubby little legs would let him, lest he be scooped up in her forehooves to die horribly. The guards, recognizing what was going on, winked and nudged each other, their eyes still at least glancing at the Captain just in case he managed to catch their mockery.
“Um…good morning, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!” Shining Armor’s voice quivered nervously as he spoke, wavering between staunch formalness and foalish goofiness. “What brings you here this…fine morning?”
Cadance came to a stop right in front of her beloved and lifted her wing, allowing the scroll to fall free. A wreath of energy caught the parchment before it could strike the ground, allowing its master to float the message to the Captain. Cadance’s aura soon found itself mixed with Shining’s, before finally fading from sight as its master released her hold on the document. Smiling, Shining Armor unfurled the paper.
Armor’s eyes widened as he read the regal text. “I see. Please tell Princess Celestia that I shall be there on time.”
Cadance smiled and nodded in affirmation. “Got it. Oh, and you forgot something very important this morning.”
Shining opened his mouth, no doubt in the vain hope of figuring out what this missing thing was, but before he could utter so much as the faintest syllable his wife was upon him. Her muzzle rubbed alongside his own a few times, slowly weaving a curse that turned the mighty knight’s head into a tomato. About six or seven guards began to chortle and snort back an uprising tide of laughter at the sight.
Blueblood, meanwhile, just watched with a mixture of frustration and revulsion. Look at those two, acting like a pair of lovesick teenagers. Do they not teach propriety at the Academy anymore? Does my cousin wish for everypony to think of her as a common cuddler? I should…
The colt shook his puny head until the bad thoughts went away. No, no, no! Bad Blueblood, bad! Old traditions bad!
Princess Cadance twisted her head about and pulled back, a friendly smile plastered on her lips. Shining Armor rubbed his nuzzled muzzle sheepishly. “Well…yes. Th-Thank you very much, Your Highness. I...I’ll see to this request as soon as possible.”
Cadance’s smile grew as she gave a nonverbal affirmation. Just as she was turning back towards the door, however, she noticed a very little pony in a guard costume doing his best to blend in. Her eyes widened while her mouth dropped into the kind of gaping maw that usually preempts a diabetic shock. “Leon!”
The real guards spun their heads towards Blueblood, while the colt felt his heart sinking. “Um…hello?”
The mare cocked her head and cooed at the white colt, forcing the colt to duck down even further. He could already hear the mocking laughter of more than a few of the stallions and mares around him. “My goodness, you are such a brave little stallion! Keep at it, and you’ll be the best Royal Guard in all of Canterlot!”
“Um…y-y-yeah….” The colt buried his face in his forehooves, wishing that the moon would crash into Equestria and end his misery. Cadance started to mouth another string of condescending remarks and empty praise, but as she saw the foal transforming into a white soccer ball, her heart winced. With nothing else to accomplish, she slowly left, leaving behind an embarrassed Shining Armor and completely humiliated Blueblood in her wake.
Once she was inside, Armor turned back to his guards and slammed his hoof down. The power of his blow was enough to send a massive crashing sound thundering throughout the courtyard, attracting the attention of everypony in attendance. Blueblood’s eyes peeked out from behind his security hooves, barely making out Shining Armor returning to his former authoritative pose. “Well, everypony, I’m so proud at you. It’s wonderful how you remembered your basic training and didn’t break away from attention, even in the face of a pair of young lovers.”
A hoofful of guards started to chuckle again, but a quick glance at the cold, hard stare of their Captain was enough to impart just how serious his intentions were. Blueblood, meanwhile, just continued to shiver. This day is going to be dreadful, I know it…
----------
Slowly, Celestia knocked on her sister’s door. Her hoof barely tapped against the wooden frame, and yet the power that carried it was enough to cause a loud rattle to echo throughout the entire chamber, bounced through the hallway, and could be heard even from the royal pantries.
Within the bedroom, Luna slowly stirred from her rest, her Royal Canterlot Snoring stopping in a very accurate impersonation of a happy pig. Grunting tiredly, she pulled herself out from under the covers, removed her sleep mask, and telekinetically opened her door without moving from the bed. “Enter.”
Celestia slowly entered the bedroom, finally waking the younger sister with her presence. The sunlight burned at her eyes, but the mere presence of that foul yellow ball’s corporeal master was enough to knock out the last shreds of sleepiness. Luna smiled at her sister as she approached the bedside. “Good morning, Celestia. I take it everything is well?”
Celestia nodded. “Yes, it is. The birds are singing, the country is humming along, and Canterlot is still standing so far.” The Princess took a few steps forward, stopping just at the foot of her sister’s bed. “And how are you? I trust a good night’s sleep has done you well.”
“Mm-hm, I must say it has,” Luna said. Granted, putting “night” and “sleep” in the same sentence wasn’t her favorite thing, but she could see through her sister’s slip-up and recognize what she was actually saying. “Both of us must give our compliments to the castle’s custodians. To have rebuilt my chambers so quickly after that incident…” Her eyes began to close slightly as fresh anxiety took hold. “Well, it is an accomplishment worthy of the highest praise. Now, what business do we have today?”
The Sun Alicorn blew a few strands of mane from her eyes and sat herself by the bed. “Well, I’ve already made the preparations for your meeting with the Canterlot Hay Board this morning. Ruby Dream is already picking up the latest plans from the architects for the new library in the North Quarter, and should have them on your desk before lunch. She can fill you in on the rest of the afternoon’s activities.” Celestia’s smile faded. “And…I’ll be conducting Princess Cadance’s debriefing later this morning.”
Luan nodded slowly, her head still groggy from exhaustion. “That sounds fine. I have already read the reports she sent from Stalliongrad. Anything else?”
“Actually, yes.” Celestia sighed. “We have to discuss what happened last night. We have a very delicate situation on our hooves now.”
Luna snapped her head back up. “I assume you are speaking of the falsehood Captain Armor and I gave to Princess Cadenza last night?”
Celestia froze for a second, and then rolled her eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t have used those exact words, but yes. Do you really believe that deceiving our niece can possibly lead to anything positive?”
“It seemed appropriate at the time.” Luna sighed. “Once this plan of yours is finished, we can explain our reasons to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. This is a very delicate situation, after all.”
“Trust me, I know that,” Celestia said. “I was here while you were banished, after all. I saw Blueblood transform into the being you know.” Her frown deepened. “Unfortunately, though, we really can’t keep covering up what happened here forever. We were lucky that nopony else knew what I looked like as a filly. All it would take is one of Blueblood’s enemies to recognize him…”
“And they will assume he’s his own son,” said Luna. The mare slid out of the bed, her hooves gently landing with all the crashing cacophony of a feather landing on a drum set. “And even if they assume it is him, they will be powerless to do anything to harm him. He is under our care, and as such is impervious to their machinations.”
Celestia walked over to her sister’s side, a stern look in her eyes. “It’s not that simple. If they think he’s a real colt, and we turn him back, somepony will become suspicious when ‘Leon’ never appears again. Either they’ll think he threw his son out on the streets, or that we abandoned or banished him as well, but questions will be asked.”
Luna shrugged. “We could always keep him as a foal. He seems to be enjoying himself enough in this form.”
“Then more ponies will start wanting to learn where the foal’s mother came from. Eventually, they will still learn the truth about everything that’s happened. They’ll know he’s weak and helpless, and we’re the ones that have been hiding this from everypony. And what of Cadance?”
“What of her?”
Celestia shook her head. “She and Blueblood have had a troubled relationship for quite a while now, and I highly doubt the current situation will fix any burned bridges.”
“Well, at least she liked him at some point.” Luna slowly walked past her sister, stopping only when she reached her rebuilt dresser. Her horn lit up with the power welling up inside, while her magic pulled open the drawers and lifted out the various combs, brushes, make-up, and other utilities and accessories. “Remember when you introduced us? I terrified the poor mare.”
Celestia gave a reflexive chuckle, and in the process earning herself a cold stare from her little sister. “Well, you did use the Royal Canterlot Voice on her. At least you weren’t at your full power just yet. It didn’t take long to get her coat and mane smoothed out again.”
Luna sighed as she stepped past her sister again, this time heading towards the door. “In any case, sister, I did what seemed right, and as far as I am concerned, the situation will resolve itself just fine. If the situation was truly as difficult as you describe, then it will motivate Blueblood to remain hidden. She will learn the truth only after we have passed our final judgment.”
Having said her piece, Luna opened the door and merrily trotted away to prepare for her busy day. Celestia waited until her humming gradually faded into the nothingness before stepping out herself, her magic closing the door behind her. She and the guards shared an acknowledging nod, a little bow here and there, and then she was free to start trotting back down the hallway. “Well…at least she isn’t wishing death on him anymore,” she muttered to herself. “That’s definitely an improvement.”
She had made it about twenty steps before her brain forced her to pause.
“She will learn the truth only after we have passed our final judgment.”
Celestia sighed. It’s not that simple. Cadance and Blueblood have a long history together. Why, I can remember the day he left…
----------
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Blueblood, suitcase in mouth, struggled to make his way to the waiting carriage. It was not so much the weight of the luggage that was causing him difficulty; all that was inside were the last of his belongings from Canterlot Castle, mostly constituting a few toys, a wooden sword, and a jar of chocolate chip cookies he had smuggled from the pantry. He wouldn’t even need most of the items anymore, now that he was going to be taught how to be a real prince. Well, except for the cookies.
No, the problem was the crying pink creature currently clinging to his tail for dear life. Cadance’s voice cracked and echoed throughout the castle and surrounding area, creating a deafening crescendo that, were it to be amplified, would almost certainly be capable of bringing down Canterlot’s mighty walls. Blueblood grumbled and grunted, every step feeling like he had an anvil tied to his back hairs.
When he was about fifteen steps away from the carriage itself, the colt had had enough. He spat the suitcase out of his mouth, taking extra care not to break anything fragile that was within, and turned back to his cousin. “I’m sorry, Cadance, but I have to go. Mom and dad said I have to start learning how to be a proper prince.”
“But you’re already a prince!” she whined. “You can’t leave me here alone! Everypony here hates me and you’re the only friend I have and-”
Blueblood raised an eyebrow. “You mean Aunt Celestia hates you, too?”
“Well…no, I guess not,” the filly replied sheepishly. “B-But I’m a princess! Why can’t I go?”
“They said the school is for colts and stallions only,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t know why, but it’s the Academy tradition, and my parents say we have to follow those. And besides, they said I have to spend some time in the military academy.” He laughed a little at his fussy cousin. “I can’t imagine somepony like you doing well after getting covered in mud and dirt.”
Cadance plopped herself onto her haunches and crossed her forelegs in a little pout. “There’s a lot of mares in the army.”
“But no princesses that I know of.”
Both ponies spun around towards the front gate. Standing over them was Princess Celestia herself, smiling down upon them like the sun on a warm summer day. Both foals backed up in surprise at their aunt’s sudden appearance, their eyes widening in surprise. “A-Aunt Celestia!” Blueblood stammered. “Wh-What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see my favorite nephew off,” Celestia said with a smile. “It’s not every day a colt starts his first day of school, after all.”
The Alicorn mare slowly bent down, her belly almost making contact with the floor. Slowly, she pulled herself towards her nephew, touching the side of his cheek with her own and giving him a nuzzle. Before she could pull away, however, a sudden weight took hold onto her neck. “Don’t let him go! You’re the Princess! Make him stay!”
Celestia sighed and raised her neck back up, taking the struggling Cadance with her. The filly screamed and hollered at her unbeatable opponent lifted her higher and higher. Finally, when her aunt’s neck was at its straightest point, she swung around and plopped herself on the Alicorn’s back before resuming her previous pouting and fuming. “It’s not fair! Why does he have to go away?!”
Celestia sighed and focused her eyes back on Blueblood. “Now, I want you to promise me something. I have seen many fillies and colts come back from these schools as completely different mares and stallions. Places such as these will teach you many things, and not everything they tell you is bad, but I want you to remember one thing.”
Celestia slid her front half downward, stopping only a few inches above the ground. The gradual shift in slope sent Cadance sliding down to the top of the Princess’ head, letting out an involuntary giggle before slipping back into her “serious business” face. “Do you know what your Cutie Mark stands for?”
Blueblood glanced back at his mark, a small smile appearing as he did so. “Mom and dad say that it means I’m a prince.”
“But what does it mean to be a prince?”
In an instant, Blueblood’s grin vanished. He slowly looked back up at his aunt. “I…I don’t know.”
Celestia rose back to her full height. “A true prince uses his power and status to help ponies, not to lord over them. He must be willing to work for the benefit of all of Equestria and not just himself. That is what I want you to learn before anything else. I want you to be somepony that others can look up to with pride.” She smiled. “Also, brush your teeth twice a day, always look both ways before crossing the street, and when you go swimming, make sure you never drink the pool water.”
Blueblood snorted back a laugh, his emotions slowly pulling him apart inside. A tiny part of his young mind knew that this was the last time he would ever see his aunt like this again. When he returned, he would be a proud Prince of Equestria, hopefully with giant muscles and spells that could disintegrate a thousand dragons with just a thought. But then again, all school ever taught him was how to read and write and other boring stuff. If he was stuck at a school for years, then he would probably come back as dull as his dad.
His heart could finally take no more. The colt leaped onto his aunt’s leg and hugged onto it tighter than any bear. “I’m going to miss you so much. Please write me, please…”
The colt winced as something heavy came across his back. He craned his neck up, only to find himself staring at the bottom of Celestia’s own. The Alicorn’s head now rested along his back, pulling him in for a hug of her own. Cadance quickly hopped off her aunt’s backside, her own eyes brimming with tears. Slowly, his aunt’s head lifted up just enough for Cadance to get in one more big hug. “I’ll miss you, cousin!”
“I-I’ll miss you, too.” His voice cracked slightly, while his forelegs quickly took turns brushing the accumulating moisture out of his eyes. He was a big pony, and big ponies weren’t supposed to cry.
The scene remained frozen for a few more uncomfortable seconds, with motion returning only after the three heard a pony clop down their hoof. “Master Blueblood, we must be going! The train will be leaving in less than thirty minutes!”
Blueblood’s nerves tightened as he heard the time. There was nothing more he could do here, so he slowly broke free from his two loving family members, grabbed and tossed his suitcase into the back of the carriage, and climbed inside. The waiting, unseen servant climbed in the other side and motioned to the two hitched to the front to begin.
With a mighty neigh, the two burly ponies in front began to canter off, the carriage following behind them. Blueblood leaned out the window, waving a hoof excitedly at the two. “I’ll see you soon! A-And I’ll be a prince this time, you’ll see!”
Celestia and Cadance slowly waved goodbye, and didn’t stop until the vehicle was well out of view. Sensing another imminent round of tears and wails, Celestia spun on her hooves and leaned over the little Roaman filly. “I know it’s hard, but don’t worry. It’s not like Blueblood’s going away forever.”
Unfortunately for Celestia, her reassurances only served to make Cadance’s apparent heartbreak even greater. Her little face twisted about like a shifting tide. “B-But…he…I…Why, Aunt Celestia?!”
The filly leaped forward and buried her face in her aunt’s chest. “Aunt Celestia! Aunt Celestia!”
----------
“Aunt Celestia?!”
Celestia eyes snapped wide open as Cadance’s voice finally drilled through. With a mighty shake of her divine head, she drove off all those unwanted memories and returned to reality. She was still in the hallway, standing in front of Luna’s bedroom, only this time she had two concerned guards and a startled niece staring at her. Celestia’s cheeks turned bright pink as she gave a nervous chuckle. “G-Good morning.”
“Are you all right?” asked Cadance. “The guards said that you’ve been standing here for ten minutes!”
Celestia’s cheeks darkened even more. “My apologies. I’ve just been…lost in thought these last couple of weeks.” She let out a sigh, thereby allowing her skin to return to its normal hue. “But still, did you deliver the notice to Shining Armor.”
Now it was Cadance’s turn to blush, although given the color of her fur it was a tad difficult to notice. She sheepishly turned her eyes away from her aunt and focused on a few loose strands in the royal carpeting. “Yes, I did, and he was fine with the arrangements. But…then I think I…might have…”
Celestia cocked her head. “Cadance? Is something wrong?”
The mare shook her head quickly, her eyes brimming with more than little embarrassment. “N-No, it’s fine. I’m fine. We’re all fine. I-I really need to get going, I-I’ll see you in a couple hours.”
Before Celestia could get so much as another word in, Cadance spun about on her hooves and galloped away, almost slamming into a vase as she turned a corner. The Sun Princess simply watched as the dust settled, her eyes bursting wide open in surprise. Well…that was weird.
----------
Ribbon winced as, yet again, her new friend entered the classroom looking like Nightmare Moon had just tried to gobble him up. “Are you okay?”
Blueblood slowly slid into his seat, his eyes betraying the nervousness coursing through his body. “I’m fine. My cousin just came to visit last night.”
“Wow,” Ribbon said slowly. “I wish I had cousins. Or brothers. Or sisters.” She sighed. “Or any other Unicorn in my family.”
“Well, you can have mine,” Blueblood muttered. “I’d rather have dough stick to my hooves for all eternity than get another bear hug from her.”
Ribbon giggled at her friend’s misfortune, if only to keep her mind off how much she wanted somepony in her family that didn’t use her to test out their new “spinach loaf.” By that point, the rest of the class had arrived and filed into their seats, ready to begin another fine educational day at this fine institution. In fact, the only ponies so far that didn’t have smiles on their faces were Orange Peel and Snowball; the former just scowled at the two, while the latter refused to make eye contact.
When the last pony was at their seat, Miss Brightly entered the room, a large paper bag floating behind her. The door closed behind her with a heavy thud, not unlike a dungeon door slamming shut behind a helpless horde of miniature prisoners. “Good morning, my little ponies!”
“Good morning, Miss Brightly,” the class responded, their single voice rising echoing throughout the classroom. Even Blueblood couldn’t help but smile at the chiming of the voices.
Miss Brightly set the bag down on her desk, stuck her head inside, and pulled out a large sheet of black poster board. The next item to emerge was a tripod, levitating out of the bag before popping open and settling on the ground next to the desk. Finally, Miss Brightly just placed the board onto the tripod, revealing a simple picture of a horned pony with its parts all clearly marked out. “Now, can anypony tell me what this is?”
A silvery filly excitedly lifted her hoof, her entire desk shuffling about underneath her unbelievable enthusiasm. “Yes, Quicksilver?”
“That’s a pony!”
Everypony laughed and clapped at the answer. The filly, unaware of the “foal’s first sarcasm” surrounding her, beamed as brightly as a candle on a moonless night. Miss Brightly gently tapped her hoof against the floor, calling her students’ attention back to her. “That’s right. This is a pony, just like you and me. Today, we’re going to learn about the parts of the pony body, from your poll to your heels.”
The class looked on in amazement, more than ready to identify those parts that they didn’t even know had names. Blueblood smiled at the familiarity of it all. Oh please, I know all these parts already. I can just relax and…
His smile vanished. Well…I guess I could listen. It wouldn’t exactly be right to let all of Miss Brightly’s work go to waste. I’m certain she has something interesting planned for this lesson…
----------
♪ Head, shoulders, knees and hooves, knees and hooves! ♪
♪ Head, shoulders, knees and hooves, knees and hooves! ♪
♪ Eyes and ears and mouth and nose. ♪
♪ Head, shoulders, knees and hooves, knees and hooves! ♪
The entire class erupted into applause as Miss Brightly set her banjo aside and took a bow, mere moments before the bell for the first recess rang. The teacher floated her instrument back to the corner and started herding the foals out to the yard for another helping of fun.
Blueblood lagged behind the rest of the group, his eyes downcast in disappointment. Over twenty years, and they haven’t changed that bloody song…
----------
“Today’s the day!” shouted Lofty. “We are finally gonna get our pudding!”
The three other fillies and their tagalong colt stared at the overly-enthusiastic yellow Pegasus as she motioned dramatically to the ribbon. “We will bring down that ribbon, even if we have to tear this tree out by the roots!”
“YEAH!” shouted Gusty. Blueblood, Ribbon and Buttons just clapped politely. “And just how are we doing it? Axes? Shovels? Oxen?”
“Pfeh, none of that stuff,” said Lofty. “We’re gonna…um…uh…”
The filly’s confident smirk inverted itself into a defeated pout as she slipped back onto her haunches. “I…don’t know. I just thought that…well, we could think of something.”
Blueblood rolled his eyes at the spectacle. Typical foal behavior. They always get worked up over things without any plan for how they’re going to resolve their problems. Still, some pudding would be more than acceptable after that mess this morning.
Ribbon rose from her seated position and walked over to the tree. “Perhaps we could pull the tree out?”
Blueblood walked over next to her and pushed his hoof against the bark, taking note of the tree’s sturdiness. He may not have known a lot about gardening and plants, but even he could tell that the tree was solidly rooted in place. It would take an entire team of pullers and buckers just to get it wedged out of the earth, let alone lowered enough so they could get the ribbon. “Well, that’s not going to work,” he said. “We’re going to need something a bit smaller in scale.”
Ribbon cocked her head in confusion, followed by everypony (besides Buttons and Blueblood) doing the same thing. The colt moaned in frustration. “I mean, we need a new plan.”
Gusty, meanwhile, had fixed her attention on where the bough intersected with the trunk. It was definitely a sturdy branch, more than strong enough to resist any foal’s attempts at breaking it down. And there was no way to climb it either, especially with only hooves and a mouth. If they had a rope, though…
The filly clapped her hooves together in triumph. “I got it! We’re gonna climb up there!”
Lofty looked up from her pouting position just enough for one eye to meet with Gusty’s. “We’re gonna climb it? Gusty, we’re ponies, not squirrels.”
“Actually, she might have a point,” Buttons said. “From all the stories I’ve heard, if you can get a rope tied around the branch, one of us could use it to pull themselves onto the branch. Once they’re up there, all they have to do is go to the end of the branch, untie the ribbon, and we’ll have our snacks.”
Everypony nodded in agreement…save for Blueblood, who was the only one not foalish or naïve enough to believe this entire scheme would actually work. “Well, how are we supposed to do that to begin with? You really think they’re going to just give me a rope long enough to reach the top? Perhaps we should just tie every jump rope together and see if that reaches, huh?”
----------
Miss Brightly raised an eyebrow. “You want how many jump ropes?”
“All of them,” Blueblood repeated. His voice was low and downbeat. “We want to tie them all together and make a super-long rope.”
The teacher shook her head. “Leon, if you do that, then what will the other foals play with? We only have so many jump ropes to share, and it wouldn’t be fair to deprive everypony else of the chance to use them, right?”
The teacher gave an incredibly forced smile on the last word, causing Blueblood to shiver slightly. So much…friendliness and trust! Gah! He rolled his eyes away. “Yeah, you’re right. B-But do you have a really long jump ropes?”
Miss Brightly’s smile gradually lessened from a tooth-baring, mouth-swallowing portal of cheerful despair to a simple, condescending grin. “Of course we do.” She reached over into the nearby tub and levitated out a massively long rope with two wooden knobs on the end. She coiled the whole mess together before finally lowering it to Blueblood’s mouth level, her magic refusing to face until the colt had cleanly clasped the entire length with his mouth.
“Now, remember that you’ll need two ponies to turn the rope,” said Miss Brightly. “And please, please, please don’t try to whip anypony with these!” She shuddered at her long-neglected memory of the Great Jump Rope War. Not a single foal escaped the playground without some sort of red mark on their body. Sometimes, when she slept, she could still hear the jeers, the screams, the…
“Um…Miss Brightly?”
The teacher shook herself out of her thousand-yard stare and returned her attention to the perplexed colt. “Um…sorry about that. Just an incident from my student teaching days. Anyway, you go have fun with your friends. Just remember to bring the rope back when you’re done!”
“Of course,” said Blueblood. The foal scooped up the rope in his teeth and spun about in a single fast motion, his eyes locked on the distant tree. His friends still had their backs to him, no doubt already planning out the logistics of their perilous journey to acquire a free pudding snack. Alas, he had failed in his preparations thanks to basic niceties, and they had to work with but a single piece of nylon.
He was about halfway to his destination when he heard a familiar voice. “I said no, Orange!”
The colt froze, his left ear tilting towards the source of the sound. It was definitely Snowball, and he was most certainly coming from the other side of some bushes. And from the sound of it, he was talking to his boss, Orange Peel, in about the most unprofessional manner one could muster.
Another voice echoed. “Yeah, I mean…do we still have to do this every day?” Smokey.
Blueblood gave one last glance at his cohorts by the tree, but finally jumped into the bushes, rope still clenched in his teeth. Sure enough, he could see the back end of Orange Peel and the fronts of his two cohorts engaged in a desperate battle of words. Blueblood could not see Orange Peel’s face from his position, but that made little difference. The colt’s voice was like an open book. “Come on, guys! So the teacher got a little mad. That doesn’t mean we still can’t get back at those stupid foals!”
Snowball shook his head, a small scowl forming on his lips as he did so. “Get back at them for what? Yeah, it was fun when we jumped them once a week or so, but ever since Leon got here you’ve been doing this every day!”
“W-Well, he deserves it! That stupid colt thinks he’s smarter than the rest of us! And besides, my dad knows his dad is no good, and that makes him no good, right?” The colt’s front half slinked towards the ground, not unlike a cat about to pounce on a bird. “Look, we’ll just have to be a little more careful from now on, okay? As long as the teachers don’t see…”
“My mom told me not to spend time with you anymore,” said Smokey. He pointed an accusatory hoof in his soon-to-be-former friend’s direction. “She said you’re a bad influence.”
Orange scoffed. “Oh, come on! Do you really think she’s gonna do anything? How can she even know what happens at school?”
Blueblood’s eyes widened as he saw Smokey turn towards him and point a hoof at the bush. He reared up to flee, but froze as he realized that something was clearly off with the scene. In particular, all three of the colts were still completely motionless, their eyes looking over the horizon. “You mean Mr. Snowflame?”
Smokey gulped as he laid witness to the horrifying sight of his own teacher. “He tells my mom if I was even near you during recess. After he told her what happened yesterday, she grounded me for two weeks! I-I can’t risk it anymore!”
Orange Peel’s head snapped back to his friend, and thus was back out of range of Blueblood’s field of vision. “Snowball, what about you?”
The blue colt kicked nervously at the ground, his hard gaze faltering as his young mind began to fathom the truth of the matter. “I…I can’t be your friend, either. Dad was so angry after yesterday that…”
Orange Peel’s body movements suddenly began to change. Blueblood squinted and leaned forward, just barely managing to grasp the full scope of the alterations. The orange colt’s breathing became faster and heavier, while a distinct rumbling echoed through his forelegs. “B-But…we’re friends to the end…right?”
The two other colts looked at each other, then back at their leader. “Um…sorry,” said Snowball. “M-Maybe when things calm down…Well, bye!”
The two quickly galloped away before they got into any more trouble. Orange Peel twisted his body around and reached for the two, but couldn’t move from his spot. Blueblood’s heart froze as he saw Orange Peel’s face. The once-powerful bully of the schoolyard now had tears running down his cheeks, a quivering lip, and more than a little bit of pure rage. It all seemed eerily familiar to the white colt.
A part of Blueblood wanted to bust out there and see what he could do, but then another part chimed in. This can wait. I need to tell the others about this first. I think we have one less problem to worry about.
----------
By the time Blueblood had finished making his way back, all four fillies were regarding him with no small measure of frustration. Well, except for Buttons; she was still looking at the tree branch, trying to figure out the best place to make their connection. So far, she seemed to be meeting with a rather severe lack of success.
Blueblood spat out the jump rope mere moments before Gusty trudged up to him, a little scowl on her face. “And just what took you so long?”
“I had to make a small stop,” Blueblood said. “I still don’t think this is going to work.”
“Of course it’ll work!” said Ribbon. She pointed to her deep-in-introspection friend. “Buttons here is the all-around smartest pony in school! If she can’t figure out how to get our pudding, nopony can!”
The little filly returned to the real world at the sound of her ego being soothed. Jumping back to all fours, she spun around and looked at the rope. “But why do you only have one? I thought we were gonna use them all.”
“This is all Miss Brightly would let me have,” said Blueblood. “She said we have to share the rest with all the other foals.”
Everypony let out a small grumble at that. Yet again, their perfect plan had been completely foiled. Even foals as young as four of them were could see that there was no way they were going to get that rope up there and have it reach down far enough so they could climb it. Even worse, recess was nearing its conclusion. “So, what took you so long?” asked Gusty.
Blueblood tapped his chin. Inside his brain of surprising pedigree, he began to weigh the pros and cons of his many possible choices. I could tell them the truth, but there is no reason for any of us to care. I could lie, but if they find out the truth I might lose their frie…TRUST. Or, I could just ignore the query altogether and go about my life as if nothing had happened. But then, Gusty or Lofty would get it out of me anyway.
Sensing defeat, the colt yielded to the truth. “I saw Orange Peel.”
The four fillies looked about each other cautiously, Ribbon and Buttons shuddering at the name. Even Blueblood could feel a small shiver run up his spine at the mere mention of the name. After several seconds of uncomfortable silence, Lofty finally broke the silence. “Well? What’s that jerk up to this time?”
Blueblood scratched at his right foreleg and shook his head sadly. “I think he was trying to do something, but his friends didn’t seem to want anything to do with him anymore.”
The five looked about each other again in confusion. Buttons cocked her head, an unsure, catlike smile spreading across her lips. “Wow. I really thought they were gonna do something really bad.”
“Those guys were always together,” said Ribbon. “I think they’re the only friends he had.”
“Who’d want to be friends with him, anyway?” scoffed Gusty. “I asked him if he wanted to hang out once, and he said I was a stupid little filly!”
“He pulled one of my feathers out once!” said Lofty. She quickly unfurled her right wind and looked it over gently. “Do you know how much that hurt!”
Buttons sighed. “I brought a picture book to school once. He tore off a bunch of pages and ran off to the colt’s room.” She sniffed. “When he came back…”
Blueblood winced as he beheld his entire party losing heart. “Wow, I…I never knew all the stuff he did. I’m sorry I even brought it up.” His eyes suddenly lit up with inspiration. “But…perhaps if we…”
*BRIIIIIIING*
All five shuddered at the echoing cries of the bell of doom. Once again, they had met with total failure, not only in getting their precious pudding, but in just leaving their play time without feeling like all five-to-six years of their lives had been utterly wasted. But still, they had a challenge waiting for them.
And someday soon, Blueblood knew, that pudding would finally be his.
----------
Cadance traced a hoof over a small bit of land, covering what amounted to the local tracts of farmland. “With some help from the local government, we were able to replant as many of the lost crops as we possibly could. We had to clear out a lot of the burnt farmland to do so, however, and between all the injured ponies and the complete mismanagement of the early relief efforts, we barely had enough resources to get this much done. And that doesn’t even begin to cover what happened to the rest of the city.”
Celestia nodded sadly. “I’ve already seen the casualty reports. What happened in Stalliongrad is a tragedy of the highest order. Now tell me, what is the current shape of the city?”
Cadance sighed and hunched over the tabletop. “We managed to restore order and aid as much as we could, but it’ll take years at least for the city to get back on its hooves again.” Her slump only increased as the first small traces of worry began to scurry across her brow. “I…I’m sorry. I thought I could fix everything in there, b-but even…even my magic wasn’t…”
The Princess snapped back up as she felt something tap her on the side. She slowly turned about to Shining Armor, catching him just as he was retracting his foreleg. “It’s okay, Cadie. You did the best you could.”
“And that’s what I wanted you to learn,” said Celestia. “Rulership is not something that comes easy. Princess Cadance, even with your living situation, you are still an heir to a throne, and will one day have to leave Canterlot to assume your normal duties. And one of the first things you’ll learn is that you cannot use magic to erase your problems. Your ability to amplify affection and love may be a blessing, but you cannot rely on power alone. And sometimes, you just have to accept that you can’t solve everything, but you nonetheless give it everything you have. From the reports I’ve received, you managed to accomplish a great deal in very trying circumstances, and for that you should be proud. Learn from this experience, and you will prove yourself a great princess.”
Cadance nodded slowly. “I…think I understand.”
Her first payload of motivational speeches dropped, Celestia turned her attention to her next victim. “And Shining Armor, even though you were not born into this position, the time is fast approaching where you will have to assume royal duties of your own. That’s why I wanted you to have this experience.”
Shining Armor bowed in reverence. “Thank you for your trust, Your Highness.”
Celestia smiled and leaned forward slightly. “In any case, you both seem to have done a fine job. If anything else comes up, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
The two soon-to-be-newlyweds smiled at each other and wrapped one of their forehooves with the other. Unfortunately, Celestia chose that moment to ruin the mood. “Unfortunately, there is another matter we must discuss. You see, Leon is…”
“I know.”
Both Celestia and Shining Armor both stared at Cadance in complete shock, the Captain’s mouth hanging open in unrelenting horror and the Alicorn’s eyes blown up like balloons. “Y-You know?” said Armor.
Cadance nodded her head. “Yes, I do. I embarrassed him in front of the half the Royal Guard this morning.”
A moment of pure, unadulterated awkwardness swept over the entire room. Shining Armor slowly pushed himself away from his fiancé until he was in danger of falling off his pillow. Celestia, meanwhile, just felt even more confused than ever. As for Cadance, her entire face reflected deep-seated regret at her actions. “I just met him last night. You told me that he wanted to be a guard. And I made him sound like a little baby out there.”
Shining Armor awkwardly rubbed the back of his crest. “W-Well, he kind of is.”
“But I shouldn’t have done that!” Cadance’s head whirled towards Shining Armor so fast that it was a miracle she didn’t get whiplash. “And I shouldn’t have humiliated you in front of the guards as well. But I-I haven’t seen you in so long, and…”
“Absence does make the heart grow fonder,” Celestia added. “But in any case, there is something else we should…”
Cadance sighed. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just glad to be back in Canterlot. But he reminds me so much of Blueblood. The resemblance is almost exact, like he was actually Blueblood shrunk down and turned into a little colt again through some dark spell.” She chuckled. “But really, that would be ridiculous. Magic like that doesn’t even exist.”
Celestia’s wings crooked open just a tad as she rubbed her right foreleg. “Actually, the truth is…”
“And really, if anypony tried to keep him like that, they would have to be really awful.”
The wings finished their opening pattern. Something inside Celestia turned around fifty or sixty times within the space of half-a-second before finally settling, causing her to feel a little queasy. Thoughts of Luna’s declarations and the moral aptitude of this whole affair only intensified her grief. “I…I see…”
Cadance cocked her head. “Is something wrong?”
“N-No, nothing,” said Celestia. She slowly looked back at Shining Armor; the Captain flashed back a look that screamed “I told you so.” “Well, in any case, I think Leon will be fine. He’s just not used to having a big cousin like you around.”
Before anypony could say anything else and make things worse, Celestia hopped to her hooves, her wings still outstretched. “Well, I think we’ve had a very productive day here. Shining Armor, you are dismissed. Please resume your normal duties. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, feel free to pursue your own projects for the time being. I think I shall…lie down for the rest of the day.”
----------
Blueblood stared down at the tennis ball with no small amount of contempt and resentment. After only a few days’ reprieve, it was right back to the exercise in frustration known as “magic practice.”
The other foals, who only a week ago had been expressing nothing but confidence and wonderment at the mere possibility of performing magic, now appeared to share his sentiments. More than a few fillies and colts had groaned audibly as they had returned from recess, their feelings of joy and merriment crushed under the hooves of cruel reality. If Miss Brightly had even noticed this change in temperament, however, she made no attempt to show so. In fact, her back was still turned to the rest of the class, guiding a floating piece of chalk down the right path to enlightenment.
The teacher’s ears rotated back towards her charges, waiting until she heard every last butt shuffle into its seat. The moment the last desk scrapped against the tile floor, she lowered the chalk and spun around. “Welcome back, my little ponies! Are you ready for another magic lesson?”
The class groaned in response, save for a few enthusiastic shouts from Ribbon and a hoofful of other foals. Miss Brightly sighed as she took in the sudden lack of enthusiasm from her charges. “Now, I understand your frustration. Magic isn’t an easy thing to learn. But that’s why we have practice like this.”
Snowball’s hoof shot up, prompting the usual acknowledgment from Miss Brightly to continue. “My dad said that nopony our age can use magic anyway. So why are we trying to move balls around?”
A few other foals echoed the query, their voices eventually swelling into a crescendo that filled the entire classroom. Ribbon tried to shout out some protests, but her own voice was soon swallowed up by the chorus of anger and frustration bouncing from every corner of the classroom. Blueblood, meanwhile, decided to remain quiet, if only to keep from getting into any more trouble.
Miss Brightly sighed and rubbed her temples. “Alright, I…really didn’t want to explain this to you. These are things you will learn more about when you get older, but I suppose I can tell you now.” She leaned back in her chair, the wooden seat creaking slightly from the pony’s weight. “Do you remember when I asked you what you knew about magic?”
The class murmured amongst itself yet again, until Blueblood raised a hoof. “I…told you how each race uses magic in a different way?”
“Exactly,” said Miss Brightly. “Each pony uses their magic in a different way. A Pegasus’ magic allows them to fly and touch clouds without breaking through. An Earth pony’s magic allows them to have better endurance and the ability to grow food. But for Unicorns, it’s very different. We can channel our magic through our horns to perform tasks. That’s different from using our mouths or hooves to move things and use stuff.”
She climbed back to her hooves and walked to the other side of the desk. She pointed at a yellow tennis ball on her own desk, perfectly matching the ones everpony else had failed miserably to lift. “Do you see this ball? What shape is it?”
A lavender colt slowly lifted his hoof, prompting an acknowledgment from the teacher. “Um…it’s round?”
Miss Brightly clapped her hooves together and smiled. “Exactly. But think about it a little more. In order to lift a ball like this, you have to know exactly how to surround it with magic. You need to know how much it weighs, how wide it is, and just how much power to use. Use too little power, and you won’t be able to lift the ball. Use too much, and you’ll send the ball flying. And if you don’t grab onto it completely, your hold won’t be balanced. Nothing’s worse than dropping something really important.” She shuddered. “Like that time that pony knocked a soccer ball into a cake I was levitating. Stupid Cheer-”
“Um…Miss Brightly?” asked Cherry. “How are we supposed to lift a tennis ball, anyway?”
“It’s just like I told you,” said Miss Brightly. “It always takes a lot of work to lift something the first time you try. This practice is about learning how your magic influences the world around you. Before you can even begin to use your magic, you have to know how it works, how to channel your power, and where and when to use it. When you get older, and your horn grows out more, you’ll be able to use magic much more easily, but if you don’t start working your magic out at a young age, it will become harder to practice magic as you get older.”
Her smile grew. “Magic is a wonderful thing, but it’s also a difficult concept to master. As you become better at your magic, you will start to see the world in a different way from other ponies. There are new angles, new dimensions to everything from a simple pencil to Equestria itself. When you understand magic, you understand the world itself a little better. Do you understand now?”
Not a student moved in the class. Nopony there – not even the regressed prince – had any idea what she was talking about. Miss Brightly sighed and stepped back behind her desk. “Well, the point is, you have to keep practicing. So just focus on your balls and concentrate your magic on levitation.”
----------
Blueblood’s tiny hooves slowly scuttled across the castle floor, completely disregarding the royal rules to never drag one’s extremities across the dirt-covered surface beneath them. A part of his mind screamed out for him to stop, lest he bring about the very end of Canterlot as anypony knew it, but the colt didn’t really care at this moment. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get that spectacle with Orange Peel out of his mind.
Well, it was that or the magic lesson. He just chose the one that hurt his brain less.
Nothing is making sense anymore. Orange Peel deserved what he got. Nopony who does anything like he did doesn’t deserve to have friends at all. By Celestia, I don’t deserve friends anymore, and he is far worse than I ever was!
He let out a mournful sigh before stopping mere steps from his bedroom. This doesn’t make sense. The pony that’s made my life miserable these last few days is now friendless, defenseless, and helpless! This is not some innocent mare I wronged, but a colt who deserves a good slap across the face!
The colt lifted his head upwards, his eyes lining up with the door handle. But…then why am…
His not-so-profound thoughts came to a screeching halt as a pair of appendages wrapped around his body and pulled him in tight. Blueblood let out a small cry of fear, but his tiny squeals only intensified the cuddly adorableness of his current body. And then he heard the voice of his attacker. “Welcome home, Leon!”
C-Cadance?
Blueblood squirmed against his bonds, finally breaking through just enough to slip through her forelegs. Cadance smiled and climbed back to her hooves, her eyes never leaving the panting colt. “I’m sorry if I startled you. I know we haven’t known each other for a long time, but I’m still your big cousin.”
“Yes…I…know,” coughed Blueblood.
“You know, I used to be a foalsitter.” Cadance winked at the colt. “In fact, I looked after Princess Celestia’s own student even before she joined the school. You wouldn’t believe all the mischief that little filly got into. I can remember this one time where she got hold of a vase and…”
Blueblood shuffled back a few steps. “That’s…nice, but I really want to get back to my room, so if it’s okay…”
He managed to make a few steps before he saw the door open, seemingly on its own accord. Confused, he looked back up at Cadance, catching her just in time to see the glow from her horn dissolve. The condescending smile was gone, instead replaced with one a small frown. “I’m sorry. I guess I overreacted again. You just…remind me so much of your father.”
The colt wanted to say something else, to unload all his frustration with her embarrassing him in front of the guards he was trying to win on his side, but any such words vanished as he stared into his cousin’s face. Even from this new vantage point, he could recognize those same features. Even at this age, she was still the same filly he knew from his actual youth. All it did was just make him feel even worse for being angry at her. “I-It’s no problem. S-So…how are you?”
Cadance shrugged, her smile slowly returning. “I’m better now. I’ve just missed Canterlot terribly these last few weeks. And…I miss…” She quickly shook her head. “Say, do you want to spend some time together? I am your big cousin, after all.”
A tiny little voice began to ring yet again.
No, Blueblood! Don’t do it! Don’t Don’t Don’t
“Sure. You want to come in?”
----------
Cadance smiled and pointed at the large, oversized dotted lines. “Now, can you spell your name?”
Blueblood cocked his head and rolled his eyes, doing his best to make sure that his now-bigger cousin didn’t see his endless well of sarcasm. “Yes. I learned in school.”
Cadance gasped happily and clapped her hooves together. “Wow, that’s so amazing! When I was your age, I could barely write out anything! Now, can you mouthwrite your name for me?”
Sighing, Blueblood clasped the pencil between his teeth and began etching out one scratch after another. Every stroke of his writing utensil made a dull scratching noise, not unlike a hoof being dragged across a chalkboard, which sent the hairs on the nape of the colt’s neck to stand on end. Cadance, however, just watched with a strange sense of pride at this minor accomplishment. By the time he was done, the word “Leon” lay across the entire page, its lines uneven and its curves jagged and misconnected.
“Oh my goodness!” Cadance said. “Do you know how few foals can do anything like this? By Celestia, you’re such a bright little pony!”
“Heh…yeah,” Blueblood muttered quickly. “B-But I’m sure my dad was just as smart.”
The moment the words left his mouth, Blueblood regretted his choice in words. Cadance’s overjoyed face slowly transmogrified into the kind of expression a pony would wear at their parents’ funeral. She slowly turned her head towards the colt, her lips trembling as her muscles tried to form a smile. “Well…it’s not like Prince Blueblood was not intelligent. He did skip classes a lot, but he still had good grades on everything he did finish.”
She turned away again. “But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t smart enough to not do something that would get him banished.”
Blueblood gulped and started shuffling away. Unfortunately, his chair scrapped along the floor, alerting Cadance to his movement. She giggled at his movement, if only to cover up how she truly felt. “But anyway, you shouldn’t worry about that. He might be your father, but that doesn’t mean you have to be like him.”
Blueblood wanted to scoot away even further, but alas, he didn’t feel like falling out and introducing his skull to the floor. The entire room became awash in an awkward and unsettling atmosphere, much like a killer speaking to the child of the pony whose life he had just taken. “Heh, you didn’t really like him, did you?”
Cadance’s laughter ceased immediately. Her features darkened, not unlike that bizarre incident where everypony turned grey while Canterlot detached itself from the mountainside, and Blueblood could swear he saw something trying to break free from the bottom corner of her eye socket. “I…Well, it’s complicated. You see, I liked him a lot when we were kids. He was always so…cool and awesome in just about everything. When my parents left me in Canterlot, he was the first pony that ever made friends with me. And even after he came back, he was pretty good for a short while.”
Blueblood face remained stoic, but inside, his ego was swelling. That sound about right. I was most definitely a hero back then.
“But then…I saw the pony he was becoming.” Cadance sniffed. “He…didn’t approve of some of the thing Princess Celestia did…that Shining Armor and I did. He just kept getting worse and worse and…”
The Princess froze up as a hoof tapped her along the side. She looked down until her eyes caught sight with the sympathetic colt. Blueblood choked back a few frustrated groans and tears. His mind was already formulating the right thing to say. I know I did a lot of things wrong. But if this experience has taught me anything, it’s that I can become a better pony. I might not understand it all just yet, but someday soon, I’ll be a prince you can be proud of.
Of course, his mouth didn’t listen. “I’m sorry I brought dad up.”
“I-It’s all right,” she said. She sniffed back the last bits of her welled-up depression. “But to answer your question, I don’t hate him. I don’t think I’ve ever really hated anypony. I just wish things could have turned out differently. And I can’t say I’m really happy he didn’t tell anypony about you.”
“Yeah…yeah,” said Blueblood. “So…do you want to see something I drew in class today?”
Cadance clapped her hooves together excitedly, her old foalsitter skills floating back to the surface. “Of course!”
And so the two passed the afternoon away, sharing stories about each other’s daily activities and just growing to know each other again. Cadance could feel herself growing ever more attached to the little colt before her, and Blueblood could feel his old love for Cadance swelling back to levels he had not known for so long. And for just a short, gleaming moment, the mess everypony had found themselves trapped in was forgotten…
----------
“And then they said they wouldn’t be my friends anymore,” Orange Peel pouted.
His father puffed on his pipe, a few small popcorn kernels popping out like fireworks as he did so. Besides the roaring fireplace, his exploding corn pipe was the only source of light in the entire living room. A servant, quickly realizing that a father-son discussion was imminent, rushed in with a bowl of chocolate-covered almonds, set the tray next to the father’s table, and just as quickly departed.
Another puff, another pop, and the father spoke. “I’m sorry to hear that, son, but you did do something wrong.”
The colt huffed and puffed and fumed. “It’s all that stupid Leon’s fault. He and his stupid friends ruined everything.”
“I…see,” said the father. “Is this the same Leon that you’ve described in the past?”
The colt nodded. “The same one. He and those fillies just cost me my friends.”
The father tapped his chin, his mouth shifting the pipe to the other side. Finally, he dug out a hoofful of almonds and tossed them into his mouth at once, loudly chewing and swallowing them all before speaking again. “Then I suppose it’s time we finished this. It’s time we restored the honor of House Frazzleberry.”
TO BE CONTINUED
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” Fanfiction
-AND-
A Wholly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
To Blueblood’s amazement, the morning guard gathering seemed…different. Rather than the usual tightly-knit square formations and perfectly-measured lines Shining Armor expected – neigh, demanded – everypony appeared to be simply hanging loose and mingling, as if at a social gathering rather than attending serious training lessons. The Captain himself stood alongside a few other high-ranking officers, all wearing different-colored sets of armor to denote their ranking amongst the few, the proud, the Royal Guards. Even stranger, however, was clipboard levitating in front of Shining. Normally the guards were all checked off by the quartermaster as they entered the grounds, not by the Captain himself.
After a few more moments, the cadre of officers nodded amongst themselves and dispersed, leaving only Shining Armor and his loyal troops remaining. Blueblood, sensing that the coast was officially clear, trotted ahead towards his CO, who seemed to remain oblivious to his presence until he felt something tapping him in the fetlock. “What’s going on?”
Shining looked down from his clipboard, and upon seeing Blueblood, barely fought back the urge to facehoof himself. Horse apples, I forgot about that. “I…thought somepony had already told you. We’re not doing the usual drills and exercises today. We had to move our combat evaluations up to this morning.”
Blueblood cocked an eyebrow. “Combat…evaluations?”
Shining Armor sighed deeply. “You really have no idea what these are? Didn’t you attend guard training at the Academy?”
The colt scoffed at this insult to his manliness. “Of course I did! I just…I never saw us doing anything combat-related in these drills. It was all exercises and discipline. We never even had weapons all this time.”
“That’s because combat training is usually handled in the afternoon. Even then, everypony’s training schedule is staggered so the castle won’t be left unguarded. The last time we were understaffed, a pair of private investigators apparently broke into the castle and removed some incriminating documents.” Armor sighed. “Apparently all the security breaches happen while I’m away. It was Discord all over again…”
“Um…Captain?”
Armor shook his head vigorously, dispelling his thoughts of inadequacy and failure, and returned his attention to the inadequate, failure of a pony standing before him. “Sorry, old wounds. In any case, we have morning evaluations once every three weeks, but because there’s a major conference in the castle next week, Princess Luna asked that we move things up seven days so we could ensure that enough guards were continuously posted. And so, I have to coordinate with all the guard divisions, along with Luna’s personal guard, and make sure everypony is on the right page. And that doesn’t even include all the paperwork that’ll be waiting after this. It’s going to take days to get this all sorted out.”
About halfway through Shining Armor’s speech, Blueblood’s eyes had dilated, while his head seemed to roll about in an attempt to dislocate itself from his body to escape the boredom. Shining gave the colt one last groan before levitating his clipboard back in front of his face. “In any case, I have a lot to do today. And seeing as how you’re a little too young to take on big ponies right now, there’s really no need for you to be out here this morning.”
The Captain looked up from the colt and faced the crowd. “Alright, everypony, let’s get settled!” The guardponies quickly stopped talking, shuffled into their usual formation of straight lines, and fired off a morning salute, which Shining Armor returned in kind. “Good morning, and welcome to our Combat Readiness Evaluations. When I call your name, I want you to march to the front. Your weapons have already been selected for you. Fight to disarm or disable. And if you have to put anypony in the infirmary, please make sure it’s not for more than a day. Remember that we’re here to defend the Princesses, Canterlot, and all of Equestria, and we can’t do that if we pound each other into paste.”
A small burst of laughter rattled through the crowd, silencing only when Shining Armor clopped his hoof down three times for attention. “Heavyweight, Razorwing, you’re up first. Step forward and collect your weapons.”
Two pegasi emerged from the crowd, saluted the Captain, and then stood at attention facing each other. Shining’s horn lit up like a lamppost before summoning two weapons into existence. Heavyweight, a burly pony with more muscles than there was water in the ocean grabbed a floating sword, while Razorwing, a pony who Blueblood recognized from just a few days earlier, took hold of a polearm.
Shining looked back at Blueblood. “As I told you, you don’t have to be here today. You could get about a half-hour head’s start on your morning.”
Blueblood’s eyes wandered over to the nearby door. It just sat there, so inviting in its woodenness, as if it was pleading for the colt to just go back inside and get his non-hot sauced oatmeal. And besides, there was no reason for a little colt like him to smell like a sweating workhorse after a long day of dragging a rusty plow. He still had a long day of schooling, after all, and he had to be rested to learn how a dish and spoon became sentient and escaped their owners.
But on the other hand, his arch-enemy had just lost his friends, which meant he had nothing to hold him back from doing something incredibly stupid. And he had enough experience with stupid things to know that when someone did them, ponies got hurt. Usually him.
The colt nodded to himself, and then looked back up at Shining Armor. The Captain, figuring that the colt was getting ready to head back, had already returned his attention to his clipboard. The two guards continued to stare each other down, their bodies haunched downward in preparation to strike. “Actually, Shining Armor…I’d like to watch a little, if you don’t mind.”
The Captain’s eyes rolled downward slightly, barely reflecting the sense of confusion. “Well…if you insist, but make sure you leave in time to get ready. I don’t want Princess Celestia coming down here and blaming us all if you’re late.” He moved the clipboard to the side and locked his gaze upon the field of honor. “Gentleponies, you may commence!”
In the flash, the two warriors were upon each other. The sword swung about in Heavyweight’s mouth, striking at the shaft of the halberd. In his haste to disarm his opponent, however, he failed to notice that his hold on his own weapon was slipping, and that his opponent was swinging the pole end out to catch the blow. The sword dislodged from Heavyweight’s mouth on impact, and before he could even tell what was happening, Razorwing had already headbutted him hard enough to send him falling backwards, then jumped up onto his barrel and leveled the polearm at his neck.
Shining Armor’s hooves slammed into the ground. “Hold! Win goes to Razorwing!”
The watching guards quickly began clopping their hooves against the ground in celebration, while Razorwing stepped off his opponent and saluted Shining Armor. Heavyweight slowly rolled over and climbed back to his hooves, his legs wobbling slightly from the sudden shift in weight. “Captain…I must protest. I don’t think the fight was fair.”
In an instant, all cheers, jeers, and general celebratory moods were jettisoned from the courtyard. Blueblood, remembering the cruel lessons that awaited those who dared to challenge the authority of the drillmasters, quickly retreated behind Shining Armor. The other guards, many of them still fresh-faced from the Academy, began whispering prophecies of certain doom and unbearable pain at the hooves of their commanding officer. Even Heavyweight could feel his heart sink as Shining Armor’s gaze locked onto his.
“What do you mean, ‘unfair?’” he asked is as cold a tone as possible.
“What I mean…mean is…sir…” Heavyweight gulped so loudly even Princess Luna could hear the sound from the next tower over. “I was trained in how to use polearms and blunt weapons. How was I supposed to win a fight with a sword?”
Shining Armor took a few steps forward before halting a leg’s length away from his subordinate. Sensing his pony shield was leaving, Blueblood quickly retreated underneath a nearby bench for safety. The Captain’s horn lit up, calling his magic around the discarded blade before fetching it back. The sword came to a stop right between the two, its point facing upwards.
“In the line of duty, you will not always have a choice of what to fight with. You might have to break a branch from a tree, or hurl rocks at a charging manticore. I’ve seen your file, and I know you scored the highest with maces and clubs, but what if you were facing something that could only be defeated using a blade, or you had to fire at it with a bow? That’s why you have to practice with everything, until you are fully capable of holding back a possible threat on somepony’s life. The test was fair, Heavyweight. You just need to keep improving.”
The guard slowly moved a hoof up for a salute, his body shaking like he had just ingested an entire pool filled with every caffeinated beverage known to ponykind. “Y-Yes, sir.”
“Very good.” Shining Armor’s lips curled into a smile as the sword disappeared. “Now, return to formation. And I want you to get in some real practice this time, understand?”
The guard nodded, gave yet another salute, and then marched back to the formation, his eyes betraying his joy at still being alive and gainfully employed. Blueblood emerged from beneath his very limited protection, a look of surprise on his face. “Wait…what just happened? I thought...”
Shining turned his head towards the colt. “You have to be strict, but you can’t break the guys like they do in boot camp. The last Captain taught me that you get a lot better results with honey than vinegar.” He floated his clipboard back over. “Now, do you want to stick around some more? I think we can get a couple more in before it’s time for your breakfast.”
Blueblood glanced back at the crowd. He could see more than a few looking at him almost expectedly, although their actual intentions were impossible to gauge from this distance. After a few more awkward seconds of scanning, he turned back to Shining Armor. “I’d love to.”
Shining Armor nodded. “Alright, then let’s get back on schedule. Brick House, Ironhooves, step forward and prepare to be presented arms.”
----------
Celestia sipped her morning honey, her horn searching through the various packets of mail that had arrived at the castle the preceding day. So far, she had found seventeen requests for a personal visit, twenty urgent responses from her various agents across Equestria, possibly hundreds of petitions for everything from requests to extend the nighttime by a few hours to some crazy pony wanting to invent a magical horseless carriage. And that didn’t include the hundreds of pizza coupons and department store sale ads.
So busy was she that she barely noticed Princess Luna and Blueblood approach, the two entering the room from different doors at the same time. Neither pony gave more than a quiet grumble as they shuffled into their seats for the kickstart to their day, the former from her quiet frustration with managing both yesterday’s daytime and nighttime courts, and the latter just disappointed that he had to leave the training grounds behind.
Nonetheless, Celestia was her usual, infuriatingly-cheerful self. “Good morning, both of you. How goes this wonderful new day?”
Luna grunted. “Mention ‘fine morning’ again, and I shall have your neck in a vice.”
Celestia cocked an eyebrow and smiled. “Why, sister, what is the matter with you? The sun is up, the birds are singing, and Equestria is still standing. What else could you want?”
“An engineer that can actually build a stable bridge would be wonderful,” Luna groaned. Celestia winced as she remembered her own report on that…incident. Those poor ducks.
“So…” Her gaze turned back to her young nephew. “And how about you, Blueblood? I take you watched the combat evaluations?” Blueblood responded with a simple nod of his head and very audible chew of his cud-like oatmeal. “Sooooo, any idea what your lesson will be today?”
The colt shrugged. “We’re supposed to be learning the alphabet or something like that. I dunno.”
Even as the breakfast table shifted back into silence, Celestia’s smile never faded. She just watched as her regressed nephew and grumpy sister slowly eat their morning meal, confident that this would be another day with no regrets, upheavals, or anything else that would make the current situation any worse.
Blueblood was especially quiet and, to her surprise, actually behaving himself quite well. She hadn’t seen that in a long time…
----------
Princess Celestia did her best to remain emotionless and detached, even as her inner self was practically bouncing up and down in excitement. She simply proceeded through the rest of her court, passing a judgment here, giving some advice there, and always waiting for the moment when she would finally be reunited with her favorite nephew.
Finally, it happened. Dusty Flint levitated up the scroll, took a deep breath, and made the official introduction. “Prince Blueblood of Equestria, enter and be received by Her Majesty , Princess Celestia.”
The doors opened, allowing a single stallion to enter. Celestia’s face betrayed just the slightest hint of her amazement at the radical change only a few years apart had brought. The little colt who always placed eighth-to-last in every sport was now a large, finely-muscled stallion. His messy blonde mane and tail were now perfectly groomed and shining with the glistening sheen of hair gel. His coat was perfectly straightened, with plenty of bleach and colorings to highlight his Cutie Mark. And then there were his eyes. They burned with the brashness of youth, coupled with the wisdom of a sage.
Celestia’s lips twisted and quivered until she had unconsciously formed a smile. “Welcome, Prince Blueblood. I trust all is well.”
Blueblood bowed, eliciting a silent chuckle from Celestia. He certainly had the routine down, but there was a definite oddness and sense of ill ease with every motion, as if he was afraid she would have him boiled in oil if it wasn’t right. That attitude irritated her with her normal subjects, but seeing it in her favorite nephew never failed to bring a smiled to her aged face.
After a few more moments of awkward supplicating, Blueblood stood back up. “I…Yes, everything is well. I…I’m sorry, I’m…a little flustered, to be honest. I only graduated a few days ago, and…”
Celestia smiled and shook her head. “I understand. And I apologize if I interrupted any of your plans by summoning you here so soon, but I couldn’t wait to see you again. It’s time you started using your education for the benefit of Equestria.”
The room grew unnaturally quiet again, just like with every visitor who ever graced this throne room’s doorway. It wasn’t until Dusty Flint coughed that Blueblood finally dared to smile. “Yes, I…suppose that’s right. And I have learned quite a bit, I promise. And…what of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza?”
Another undignified giggle tried to break through Celestia’s teeth. “Princess Cadance is quite well. Right now, she’s serving as our liaison to Roam. I thought it would give her some easy lessons in how to rule before she assumed more severe royal duties. Wouldn’t you agree?”
The stallion’s smile seemed to fade slightly, even as his lips barely registered a change in curling. He slowly nodded his head in agreement. “Of course.”
The Princess looked about the room, double-checking for any hidden doorways, dukes tucked away behind curtains, or even any listening devices the nobility may have invented just to toy with her. Once she was certain that her royal dignity was protected from those who would use it against her, Celestia rose from the throne and walked over to the still-shaking Blueblood. The young stallion gasped and started to withdraw, but his aunt’s calm approach gradually cooled his nerves until she was close enough to hug him. And that’s exactly what she did.
“I’m so happy you’re back,” she whispered. “And I’m so proud of you…”
----------
Celestia grumbled at the memories that kept trying to force their way back out. Every time she tried to stuff them back down into her subconscious, something would happen that would force them back up. She hadn’t even noticed Blueblood and Luna leaving the table.
W-Well…I suppose it’s for the best that happened. And besides, he’s learning so much in that school now. He’ll become a better pony, I’m sure of it.
----------
“And that’s why you shouldn’t eat grass that hasn’t been cleaned,” said Miss Brightly. “And now that we know why Stone Mason won’t be joining us today, let’s get back to class, shall we?”
The class very quickly nodded along, both so they could resume their spelling lessons and so they could stop thinking about their classmate in agony. Snowball was still snickering at the word “diarrhea,” but everypony else remained in a state of polite silence. Miss Brightly, sensing that the time for discourse had passed, erased the writing on the board and levitated up a piece of chalk. “Now, letters are actually really fun once you know how to write and spell them. This one here is a…”
Blueblood sighed and shifted back in his desk. Ribbon raised a curious eyebrow at this, but for the most part remained focused on the all-important words of her eternally wise teacher. The rest of the class was following the same procedure, eagerly making chickenscratch interpretations of each letter as Miss Brightly traced it out. The colt made the occasional scratch, if only to make sure that he didn’t get in trouble, but in any case there was nothing else to do but relax.
And then he saw Orange Peel.
The orange foal simply sat there, his eyes locked intently on the little pony he had come to call his nemesis. Beneath his eyes lay a kind of madness and hatred Blueblood had only felt seven times in his life. And whenever it did come along, there were very few ponies left alive in its wake. It was the sign of a pony marking its prey for a quick, inglorious...
“Leon!”
Blueblood snapped his head back around, only to find Miss Brightly standing over him. Her lips were curled into a very disapproving stare, the kind that was usually followed up by a stern talking-to and (on occasion) a pull on the ears. “Have you listened to a word I said?”
Blueblood gulped. He could already hear the low murmurs of the foals giggling at his torment. “N-No…I mean, yes, but…”
Miss Brightly sighed and lowered herself down to the ground, stopping when she was at about eye level. “Leon, I would very much appreciate it if you would keep your attention focused on your schoolwork right now. If you want to play with your friends, you’ll have to wait until recess, okay?”
Blueblood grimaced as the chortles began. He gave a few fidgets, rolled his eyes away, and finally ended with a resigned sigh. “Yes, Miss Brightly.”
“Thank you,” Miss Brightly whispered. She rose back to her hooves, stretched out the kink in her back, and turned her gaze to the rest of the class. “Now, who’s ready for some reading?”
----------
Shining Armor’s quill hovered from one side of the page to the other, if only to help focus his eyes on the sheer amount of information he had to process. The generals had all submitted their findings on each of the guardponies reviewed, which meant a giant stack of paperwork for each and every one of his ponies. That amounted to over eighty ponies in his division, not to mention all the others guards posted at royal estates, city outposts, and just about anywhere not directly within the castle walls.
Alas, he thought, such is the fate of the lonely Captain of the Guard. Only he stands against the ever-incroaching hordes that plot to destroy Equestria. And if he must pour over a thousand parchments by the end of the day, then so be it, for he shall…
“Um…honey? You’re in the strange area again.”
Shining Armor gave his head a healthy shake, shattering the illusions around him and returning to the real world of Equestria. In the time between his blackout and his return, Princess Cadance had made her way into his office, levitating two massive mugs of black coffee with her. Armor blushed through his fur as his magic took hold of one of the steaming cups and floated it to an empty coaster on his desk. “Th-Thanks…”
Cadance smiled and sighed. “Seriously, Shiny, I worry about you sometimes. Just please don’t tell me this was a flashback to the Dragon’s Den.”
The knight quickly shook his head. Even his subconscious thoughts refused to reflect on the disaster in the Dragon’s Den Tavern. All it took was one sip of Griffon’s Tears, and when he came to, he had somehow shoved himself into Blueblood’s mailbox. The prince was none-too-pleased when this allowed him to stop his plan to blockade Ponyville’s oat shipments. “Yeah, I…I’m over that.” He took a sip of the rich black liquid, the caffeine shocking his senses back into alertness. “It’s just I never expected this much paperwork was expected of a Captain of the Guard.”
Cadance rolled her head and took a seat on one of the guest cushions. “Tell me about it. You should see some of the stuff a princess has to sign. Refilling the cookie jar because a certain little sister just stole them all requires about a dozen requisition forms alone. And that’s not to mention the cookie testers?”
Shining groaned. “Yeah, I remember. I have no idea how the Food Safety division could have ever gotten that corrupt.” Another sip. “But I’ve got a good, full day of office duties to finish before Princess Luna comes in and asks where these are.”
“Oh, I promise I won’t be long,” Cadance said between gulps. “You see, I’ve been thinking about the wedding.”
Shining dabbed the quill back into the ink well a few times before drawing it back out, leaving a little trail of sticky black liquid in its wake. “Of course. Is there a problem with the caterers? The band? Please tell me the bridesmaids weren’t just trying to ride on your tail?”
“Well…they were,” Cadance said sheepishly, “but there is actually something else I was wondering. We haven’t found a ring bearer, have we?”
“Well, I was thinking of asking Spike. We’ve known each other since he became Twily’s assistant, and the little guy’s practically part of the family by now.” Shining chuckled as he looked over a guard’s (very) low evaluation scores. “Seriously, Stoutheart, how can a pony so large have so much trouble lifting a dagger?”
Cadance, ignorant of her husband’s continued desire to finish his impossible task, took another sip of her extra-rich coffee and leaned back on the cushion until her backlegs were threatening to start hovering. “Actually, I was thinking of giving the position to Leon.”
Shining Armor’s lips spat out no small amount of spittle, and it was only by the grace of Celestia that he hadn’t been trying to drink more of his coffee at that point. Cadance scooted herself and the cushion back a good eight inches, just barely avoiding the string of spit. The entire room fell silent, save for the dull ticking of an old grandfather clock along the wall, until Cadance finally spoke again. “Is something wrong, Shining?”
“I-It’s nothing,” Shining Armor said between gags. “B-But you barely know him. He’s only been living in the palace for the last couple of weeks, and…”
“But he’s Blueblood’s son,” Cadance said. Her voice was hushed, as if afraid somepony else would hear her. “I know we decided he couldn’t attend even before his banishment, but we knew nothing about his colt. I say we let him become part of the family.”
Shining Armor’s face became as flat as stone for a few seconds, just before his nerves chiseled the block away until it had formed into a smile. Next came the small laugh, the kind that usually accompanied either a really good joke, or somepony making a total donkey out of themselves. Cadance’s eyes narrowed as she crossed her forelegs, transforming from the poised, dignified princess to something not unlike a foal who had just had her favorite toy taken away. “I wasn’t joking, Shining Armor.”
“I-I know,” the Captain said between very un-stallionly giggles. “B-B-But the fact is, he…well…”
With a great deal of aplomb, Shining Armor cleared his throat, climbed to his hooves, and walked his way over next to his bride-to-be. The two blushed slightly as their muzzles touched, sending a wave of euphoria through both participants. It was only Shining’s fear for his job and Cadance’s own frustration with the whole Blueblood mess that kept things from going any farther.
“It’s going to be all right,” he muttered. “We can talk to Leon once he gets out of school. I’m sure he’ll have all sorts of amazing things to tell you…”
----------
“The ca-cat i-is-is…um…” The jet-black filly began to shudder as she tried to intone the words on her page.
Miss Brightly looked up from her own copy of the book and walked up to the filly. Her eyes stared at her with softness and compassion. “Try to sound the word out. What noise do you make when you freeze?”
The class responded with a simultaneous, “Brrrrrrr.” Except for Blueblood, whose noise was more like a dismissive spit.
“And what do you say when something hurts you?”
Again, the class shouted back, “Ow!” Except for Blueblood; his yelp was a genuine plea on behalf of his brain.
“And what’s the last letter?”
And yet again, the foals all responded at once. “N!” Except for Blueblood, who was shouting something like, “End!”
The filly nodded, her mind still reeling from the incredibly advanced concepts presented to her. “So, the words is….Brrrrrr….ow….n?”
Miss Brightly nodded. “That’s right! Now, read the whole sentence again.”
The filly looked back at her copy and started over. “The cat is…brrrrooownnna.”
“That’s wonderful, Night Sky!” the teacher exclaimed. “Keep practicing, and you’ll be able to read whole books by yourself in no time!” The filly grinned proudly; now that she had triumphed over that minor word, it was only a matter of time before she was building magic reactors and ushering in a new golden age of scientific achievement in Equestria.
Meanwhile, at the other end of the room, Blueblood just groaned. She had trouble reading brown? What kind of… I… I mean…that really is an achievement for somepony this young, I suppose. Not that the tutors ever praised me when I did something right. J-Just think positive, don’t snap…don’t let the anger take you again…
“Hey…you okay?” whispered Ribbon.
Blueblood nodded. “Yes…I am.”
The filly sighed in relief. “Good, ’cause it’s your turn to read.”
The colt’s eyes widened as he finally realized the entire class was now staring at him. Miss Brightly tapped her hooves against his hooves against the floor impatiently, already mulling over what she was going to say next if he held up class again. Sighing, Blueblood leaned over and started reading the book. “She is a good cat…”
----------
Any possibility of continuing the discussion ended as a loud knock echoed throughout the chamber. All four eyes in the room locked on the wooden doorway the sound had echoed from just as another rattle began. Sighing, Shining Armor’s magic willed the entrance open. “Come in.”
Cadance’s eyes narrowed as the bearer of the knocking entered the room: Baron Frazzleberry. He was just as full of himself as ever, swaggering up like a proud stallion out to stud. Were her fiancé not standing at her side, she would have demanded that he leave; with him, she could afford to humor him along just long enough to give Shining Armor a reason to toss him out. “Good morning, Princess Cadance. I had no idea you were back in Canterlot. I trust everything is well?”
“Very,” she said in an icy tone. “Now what do you want, Frazzleberry?”
The Baron gasped and leaned backwards, raising a hoof to his neck as if struck by an invisible arrow. “Your Highness, I apologize. I had assumed that we were all over our petty childhood grudges.”
“According to the reports I got, you attacked Lord Huffy during a dinner party.” Shining grit his teeth and pushed his helmed forward slightly, making his eyes look hidden in the darkness. “It’s a wonder Princess Luna didn’t have you arrested, especially after you tried to assault him right in front of her.”
“It’s a wonder that…” Cadance raised an eyebrow and glanced over at her future hubby. “Wait, he did this in front of Night- Aunt Luna?”
The minute Cadance’s Freudian slip reached Frazzleberry’s ears, his features began to pale noticeably. His breath became as cold as a glacier, his eyes shrank to the size of peas, and his legs began to wobble like a newborn’s. Shining Armor and Cadance quickly took a step back, alarmed at this sudden development. “A-Are you all right, my lord?”
“Y-Y-Yesssss…” the obviously not-all-right stallion muttered. Seizing the last of his courage, he shook loose the paralyzing fear that was overtaking his senses, dulling it down until it was only a low disquiet. “My…My apologies. I’ve just been…well, it’s a long story. In any case, perhaps you can be of assistance. I’m looking for a member of the castle staff.”
Shining Armor sighed, doing his best to retain some level of civility. “Sir, is there anything we can help you with? We were in a very important meeting right now, and we would very much like to get back to business.”
The Baron huffed, puffed out his chest, and blew a snort out his nostrils. “Yes, I would truly hate to interrupt your ‘business.’” Both Shining and Cadance blushed as they caught the implications within his words. “However, I have my own business to attend do, and perhaps you may help. You see, my son has been attending kindergarten at one of the nearby preschools, and it seems he has become an acquaintance of a young colt. It has also come to my attention that his mother was a former employee of the now-deposed Prince Blueblood.”
Cadance’s eyes narrowed. “Are you really saying…”
“I was just…curious,” Frazzleberry said in a bellows-like voice. “It is a very rare treat for anypony to live in Canterlot Castle, especially a pony not born into nobility. Surely somepony such as yourself or your daring knight can see that such a situation is…unusual, and should have a third party interview the colt. How can we be sure he’s not a spy or a political tool?”
Cadance was about to pick some choice words for the Baron, but stopped as Shining Armor stepped between her and Frazzleberry. “Lord Frazzleberry, when I joined the Royal Guard, I took an oath that swore to protect everypony that dwelled within Equestria’s borders. If there even is a colt living in this castle, then his protection is my concern. If the Princesses trust him enough to allow him to live in Canterlot Castle, then I would advise you to drop your charges and give him his peace. Now, if you do not have anything to request that will not lead to me violating my sacred vow, then I suggest you leave, my lord, before I notify Princess Celestia of this intrusion.”
Frazzleberry’s jaw dropped slightly. He had known the Captain for a number of years, ever since he was but a junior officer, but he had never known him to speak in such a tone to anypony in the nobility. He never even talked up to Prince Blueblood, and he was a sick monster by the end. Cadance herself seemed surprised at the sudden turn; then again, his name kind of gave his dedication away. Pony names tended to do that.
The Baron nodded slowly. “Very well, then. I shall take my leave. Have a pleasant day, Captain, Your Highness.”
He gave one final bow, turned about, and quickly scurried away. Once he was safely gone, Shining Armor turned back to Cadance. “Well, how’d I do?”
The mare’s stunned expression slowly melted into a smile as she gave her brave knight a victory nuzzle. After all, how many knights could boldly stand in front of a noblepony and ask him to leave? “You were wonderful, muffin.”
Smiling, Shining leaned in to consummate the kiss…only for Cadance to suddenly pull her head back, sending the Captain tumbling to the floor. “That’s it! Muffins!”
Shining peeked up from his low vantage point, his face twisted in frustration. “What are you talking about?”
Alas, his question fell on deaf ears. Cadance quickly leaped over her downed fiancé’s body and cantered through the door, muttering something under her breath that equated “muffins” with “answer.” He didn’t know what it was, and he was afraid to find out.
Still, he thought as he climbed back to his hooves, it was nice while it lasted. At least it went better than the last time I tried to be brave in front of her…
----------
Shining Armor had barely managed to get to the front steps by the time the carriage had arrived. The other guards eyed the new Lieutenant with no small amount of contempt, as did many of the accompanying nobles. It was no small secret that he was the older brother of Princess Celestia’s personal protégé, a relationship that practically put him on the fast-track to yet another early promotion. The thought bothered Shining something fierce, but if it meant he could get out of having to watch stuffy old ponies try to haul their wrinkled-up bones out of carriages, then he would cheat the system as much as it took.
The carriage slowly rolled into position. Of course, it always took the drivers and the attendants forever to unhitch themselves and begin rolling out the red carpet; as a result, Shining Armor was given a chance to scrutinize the vehicle’s design and features. He may not have been very good in blacksmithing class, but even he could recognize the tell-tale features of a Roaman carriage.
Beneath his stoic, unchanging face, Shining huffed and puffed. He had known only one Roaman pony in his entire life: Princess Cadance, Twiley’s old foalsitter. He could never understand why a princess would be willing to look after his LSBFF; then again, it was the easiest job in all of Equestria, seeing as the filly didn’t so much as move from a spot until she had finished her latest book.
As the carriage door opened, one of the nobles broke free from the ranks and stepped closer to the unfurled carpet. The Lieutenant’s eyes narrowed as he recognized the blonde-maned stallion. Prince Blueblood, one of Princess Celestia’s favorite nobleponies. Ever since he had the misfortune of serving as one of his guards, he had given the noble a wide berth, and even that was rarely enough to satisfy his survival instincts. Nay, it would be better if he one day exposed Blueblood for who he was…
But that would have to wait. For now, there was another pony to guard.
One of the attendants planted his hooves next to the open carriage door and telekinetically unfurled a scroll. “May I announce the arrival of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza…”
Shining lost interest almost immediately. He had learned that the longer the title, the worse the pony, and this would no doubt be much of the same. He closed his eyes and drifted off into his half-asleep happy area, dreaming of the day he would become the Captain of the Guard after saving a princess from a thousand dragons using only a butter knife.
Still, his ears could pick up the noise. He heard a few dainty, mare-like hooves touch down on the red carpet, pause, and then slowly take a few steps forward before stopping again. There was a sound like two manepieces being rubbed together, followed by Blueblood’s voice. “Welcome home, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”
The mare giggled. “We don’t need to be so formal here. Call me Cadance.”
CADANCE?!
Shining Armor’s eyes flung open so quickly his entire helmet almost popped off. Standing in front of Prince Blueblood was a pink winged unicorn, dressed in the usual royal horseshoes and tiara, with a blue heart as her Cutie Mark. There was no doubt that this was the same royal princess who had foalsitted Twiley. And yet...she had changed. Gone was the dorky ponytail, the chubby legs and the round little face he found so hilariously silly. In their place were the elegant curves and beautiful mane of a grown mare.
The mare slowly broke away from Blueblood, a big smile forming across her lips. She next turned to Princess Celestia, hugging her aunt and speaking something in a tongue Shining Armor couldn’t understand. His matriarch slowly gave her a tiny nuzzle, the most allowed in any proper gathering such as this, and Cadance quickly returned the favor.
And then she turned to him.
Shining smiled as best he could as she approached and stopped in front of him. “Good day, Shining Armor. It has…been a long time since we last met.”
Everypony’s eyes, ears, and other visual and audio extremities locked onto the two in an instant. A flash of surprise spread across Blueblood’s face, followed by a grim scowl. Celestia gave a quick wink to the couple. The other guards muttered hushed gossip to each other, all desperate to hear what lead to this chain of events. The other nobles appeared absolutely flabbergasted at the mere notion of a being as rare as a Winged Unicorn speaking to a common guard officer.
Nonetheless, Shining puffed out his chest and bowed to his princess. “Mi Amore Cadenza, it has been such a long time since I have last laid mine eyes upon you. You have grown into a beautiful mare, and my heart pounds at your very presence. If I were not but a mere officer, I would gladly pursue your hoof in holy matrimony, but alas, that shall never be, and I must contend myself with pining for you from afar.”
Unfortunately, his idealized vision did not come to be. In reality, his remarks amounted to, “Blah eadgre fureja orjeos lahfea aaaaaaaa…” followed by a stunned silence and more than a little bit of mocking laughter from his buddies and subordinates. Cadance herself giggled at the stallion’s tongue-tied response, which only served to heighten his embarrassment.
And then he saw Prince Blueblood approach, his eyes burning with rage. Before the hapless Lieutenant could even muster a word in his defense, the most hated nephew of Princess Celestia was upon him, nudging aside his cousin and snorting right into his face. “How dare you speak to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza in such a manner?!”
On any normal day, Shining would have simply stood still and taken the abuse without question. After all, he was a member of the Royal Guard, and the orientation specifically stated that one of their duties was being forced to listen to what every born-lucky overgrown foal had to say. But now, with his nerves already pulsating from meeting Cadance again, he could not help but step back and quiver a little for fear of his life.
Fortunately for him, there was at least one pony here on his side. Cadance poked a hoof at her cousin’s side, her head slightly cocked with worry. “Blueblood? He’s just an old friend. We met back when I was foalsitting his little sister.”
The redness in Blueblood’s face lessened considerably as he turned back to his cousin. The anger gradually gave way to a general sense of confusion, followed by a general sense of relief. After a few awkward seconds, he turned back to the still-terrified Shining Armor. “Very well. Resume your post, Lieutenant, and next time, mind your tongue.”
Around them, time slowly returned to normal. Cadance gave a final bow before heading back to speak with others, Blueblood trotting at her side. Once he was certain he was safe, Shining let out a deep breath and opened his eyes again…
And found himself staring at the foalsitting princess’ backside.
His heart went out again.
----------
Lofty held up the Amazing Amethyst figure, a jeweled staff shoved through the two holes in the sides of its mouth. “You won’t get away with this, Ahuizotl!”
Next came Daring-Do, carried by a very excited Gusty. “That’s right! We’ve defeated your Flying Pushups, and now there’s nothing you can do to stop us!”
Ahuizotl, however, would not allow such meager ponies to foul up his schemes. With the aid of his avatar, Blueblood, he rose up in an act of sheer defiance. “You won’t stop me, little ponies! By combining the Celestial Gems and the Heart of Aurora, I shall be victorious!”
Daring-Do and Amethyst both let out a roar and charged forward, their bodies slamming into the dreaded fiend. Plastic clacked against plastic as the forces of good and evil did battle, with the very fate of the universe in the balance. Ribbon, meanwhile, remained tied to the tree, mere moments away from being sacrificed to the dark powers Ahuizotl sought to control. Buttons, on the other hoof, just provided running commentary of the epic conflict.
“Daring-Do swings from the ceiling and jump bucks Ahuizotl right in the muzzle! Amethyst tries to use the change to strike from behind, but oh no! Ahuizotl’s tail has smacked her across the face! But Amethyst isn’t hurt! And with Daring-Do taking the lead, there is nothing these two can’t do!”
“Um…hey, guys?”
Daring and Amethyst froze mid-kick, their hind legs simply floating in the air at the sound of the familiar, and unwelcome, voice. All five slowly turned towards the nearby Snowball and Smokey, now sans their orange-coated master. The two colts kicked and pawed the ground nervously, while the mares and their token colt friend just regarded them with unwelcoming silence. The spectacle continued for what felt like a small eternity – a whole fifteen seconds – before Smokey spoke again. “So…how are you guys?”
Gusty took a few steps forward, placing herself in front of the others as best she could. “What do you want?”
“W-Well…” Snowball muttered sheepishly.
Ribbon, still tied to the tree, struggled for real against her bonds this time, and soon undid the jump rope holding her to the sacrificial tree. She climbed to her hooves, rubbing her front fetlocks as she stood. “Well, come on! We’re in the middle of something here.”
“A-Actually…” Snowball stammered, “we were wondering if we could…you know…hang out with you guys?”
All five’s jaws popped open at the words, followed by ten eyeballs sinking back in surprise. “Wh-What?” muttered Buttons. “After everything Orange Peel did to us…”
Smokey quickly reared up, waving his forelegs frantically in front of his body before setting back down. “N-No, it’s…well, you see, we…”
“Well, what do we have here?”
All seven heads spun around to the far side of the playground, to where Orange Peel was smirking. Ribbon and Buttons quickly jumped over to Lofty and Blueblood’s sides, while Gusty simply trotted down towards him. Snowball and Smokey made no attempt to move, instead shifting their eyes back and forth between the two groups.
Orange Peel had barely taken more than a half-dozen steps towards the group before Gusty stepped in his path. “And just where do you think you’re going?”
The colt simply sneered at the filly, not caring whether or not Miss Brightly was watching. “Get out of my way, foal. I have some business with Leon and those traitors.”
Orange attempted to sidestep the filly, only for her to immediately dart back in front of him. Her determined glare only grew in intensity every time he tried to pull that move. “Now you listen! If you don’t stop moving around this instant, I am going to show you just how much pain a pony can take before they go down!”
“And I’m telling you, I just want to talk to Leon!” Orange snapped back. “All I want is to say a word or two to him, and we can all leave this place without getting our flanks kicked again!”
Lofty hopped up next to Gusty, her little wings retracting upon landing. “Yeah, your flanks! Or did you forget what happened last time you tried to fight any of us? We kicked your butt! And you got us grounded!”
From behind the crowd, Blueblood watched with no small measure of surprise. Ponies…defending me like this? I…I didn’t… He shook his head. “Um…I can…”
“I did not get you grounded! And besides, you deserved it for being annoying snots!” Peel’s left forehoof pounded into the ground like a hammer. “Now let me-”
Ribbon was the next one up to bat, pushing herself between Gusty and Lofty and looking more confident in herself than ever. “Don’t talk to my friends like that!”
“Then let me get through and I’ll stop!” Orange Peel shifted away from the main body of the shield and tried to circle around the back, only to find the entire group shifting to stop him. He then turned to his left and continued the trend, moving the entire body of enemies with him. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…
After the eighth time, Lofty finally took a step out of time, causing her legs to get caught on Ribbon, who then tripped up Gusty, and all three tumbled to the ground in a mass of limbs, horns and wings. Orange Peel followed it up by running past them, stopping just short of a still-stunned Blueblood. Buttons tried to push the colt out of the way, but tripped on a tree root and slammed into the grass.
With his allies down, there was nopony left to defend Blueblood. Orange Peel slowly approached, his eyes narrowed into tiny slits, his breath slow and forced…
“I’m going to get you, Leon.”
Everything went completely still…as nothing happened. Orange Peel simply turned towards his former associates. “And you guys! Why do you want to hang around with a bunch of dorks like these dweebs? If you come back with me, then we’ll forget this ever happened. There are so many other ponies we have to take down!”
The two colts, still pressed firmly against the ground, looked at each other for a few moments, then turned back to their former friend and responded in unison. “No.”
A tiny twitch formed under Orange Peel’s right eye for a few moments before disappearing. Despite how much it hurt his muscles, he continued to force a smile. “Now come on. I’m more than willing to forget allll about yesterday if you just come along. We can be friends like we used to be.”
“And then what?!”
Orange Peel reared up as Snowball rose back to a standing position. Within his eyes burned a sea of long-buried resentments and frustrations, all of them targeted at the hapless orange colt before him. “I’m tired of being the bad pony, okay? I helped you pick on the fillies because you used to be cool. You could jump farther off the swings than anypony, you were a pro at ‘Colt Fighter,’ and you even got us in that pool last summer! But ever since Leon got here, all you’ve cared about is him. I don’t want to do any of this anymore. I just want to have fun.”
Smokey rose up next, his limbs still shaking but otherwise still stable. “And I’m tired of getting in trouble because of you! I don’t know what this ‘Leon’ did to you, but he’s not worth it anymore!”
Orange Peel stood as solid as a statue, his mind unable to wrap around exactly what was happening. Around him, his former targets were returning to life, their own mouths agape at what was transpiring. “Wh-What do you mean? I…I said I’d forgive you…”
“But you never said you’re sorry!” Snowball took a few more steps forward, stopping just a leg’s length away from Orange Peel. “If you say you’re sorry, then maybe we’ll forgive you for costing us recess every day so you can try to get revenge!”
A chill wind blew through the playground, sending a shiver up everypony’s spine. Four fillies and three colts watched with bated breath as Orange Peel’s face scrunched up to the right, then the left, and finally to the center. His hooves trembled as he struggled to speak the next words, the ones that would decide his social future for the rest of his pre-scholastic life. His eyes teared up from the emotions burning within as he opened his mouth.
“NO! I am not sorry, and I will never be sorry! If you want to hang out with losers, fine! That just means I have more ponies I gotta beat down before I’m out of here!” He turned to the stunned fillies and Blueblood. “And you’d better watch out, too. Because once I’m done, there won’t be a single pony left in this school who won’t know the name Orange Peel!”
That was the end of the discussion. The colt galloped away, his eyes still running with clear, salty liquid. The others just watched as he left, their silence ended only when Gusty sighed. “What’s wrong?” asked Lofty.
The Unicorn’s ears flattened as she looked away sheepishly. “I don’t know. I just feel…kind of sick to my stomach. It’s like I’m…”
“You’re feeling sorry for him?” asked Buttons.
Gusty quickly shook her head. “No, that’s not it. That can’t be it. I mean, he’s such a jerk. Jerks don’t deserve anypony feeling sorry for them.”
“Y-Yes,” Blueblood muttered. Jerks don’t…deserve pity.
----------
Celestia’s quill sketched its way across the bottom of the page in but a few quick strokes, then moved straight back into the ink well, allowing Celestia to levitate the scroll to one of her nearby pages. “Deliver this to the Sanitation Department. And tell them that if I find they’ve been burying their trash beneath the palace again, they’ll be getting more than a stern talking-to.”
The page nodded and slipped away, mere moments before Cadance slipped into the room herself. Celestia smiled and nodded as her niece bowed and rose again. “Is there anything I can do for you today, niece?”
Smiling herself, Cadance took a few more steps forward. “Actually, I have a favor to ask. Do you know where I can find Sky Bloom?”
Celestia’s smile twitched slightly. “W-What?”
“You know, Leon’s mother? Shining Armor said she takes him to school before returning to the castle. I wanted to talk to her about picking up Leon today, perhaps take him out for a muffin or something?”
The smile vanished as Celestia cocked her head. “A muffin?”
“Well…we spoke some last night, and I was wondering if I could get another chance to speak with him today. You see, I was…wondering if he would…” She sighed. “Never mind. But I still want the chance to sit down and talk to him without an army of guards hanging outside his windows.”
“Yes, sorry about those,” Celestia sighed. “He tried a little daredevil stunt a while ago, and we’ve had to keep tabs on him ever since.”
The room was silent for a few seconds, before Cadance finally spoke up again. “Well…is it all right with you or Sky Bloom?”
Celestia paused for a moment, her quill tapping against the desktop. On the one hoof, it would be dangerous to have Blueblood out in public for too long. Somepony important might recognize him. On the other hoof, Cadance has some experience with this, and she should be able to take care of him for a little while.
She looked up from her work, a big smile on her face. “All right. I’ll let Sky Bloom know that you’ll be handling things. Just promise you won’t be out too late, and please, wear your cloak.”
Cadance smiled and nodded. “Of course, Aunt Celestia. And thank you so much.”
----------
The school bell rang, and all the little fillies and colts soon marched upon the streets, ready to trample yet another batch of innocent mares and stallions into paste under their little hooves. Lofty, Ribbon and Buttons quickly joined the large herd waiting to be escorted home, while a few school wagons sat waiting to be loaded. Blueblood and Gusty, meanwhile, just stood outside the gate, the former waiting for his “mother” and the latter doing much of the same. “So…your mom’s still your teacher?”
Gusty nodded. “Yeah, and it stinks. I mean, I love mom, but it’s a pain when she knows what your homework is.”
The two returned to just kicking around dirt, at least until one of their parents came to pick them up. “So…where is your mom, anyway?”
“She has to meet with somepony’s parents or something. She said I could hang out here with you until your mom or dad came, and then I have to go inside the office until she gets out.”
The uneasy silence returned, with only the clops of somepony’s hooves to break the silence. It wasn’t until the clops got closer that the two bothered to turn around and identify their source. To their amazement, it was a mare only one had seen before; a tall, pink Unicorn with a heavy purple cloak draped over her body. Blueblood’s jaw dropped in surprise, an expression that Gusty emulated with near-perfect precision. “Wh-What are you doing here?”
The mare smiled. “I’m actually picking you up today. Sorry I’m a little late, but I hadn’t worn this cloak in years and I didn’t realize how dirty it was.” Her eyes drifted over to the filly. “Oh? And who’s your little friend here?”
Blueblood gulped. He knew there was no way out of this now; his cousin would soon know one of his friends. And when this was done, she would never let him hear the end of it. “Th-This is Gusty. Gusty, this is my ‘big’ cousin, Cadance.”
Cadance’s smile grew as she nodded to the stunned foal. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Gusty. So, how did you two meet?”
“Y-Y…” Gusty’s face turned beet red as small noises echoed through her throat and bounced about through the immediate area. Both Blueblood and Cadance leaned over in confusion and worry as she grew even redder. “Y-Y-Y…”
“Is something wrong?” asked Cadance.
“YOU’RE GIGANTIC! ENORMOUS!”
Cadance and Blueblood both reared back, the former almost revealing her wings in the process. The filly, however, looked like she had seen a monster. “I-I didn’t know Leon was related to giants!”
Cadance slowly sank back onto her haunches, nervously tapping her forehooves together. The filly refused to move from her spot, probably in case the giant was a foal-eater like Nightmare Moon. “W-Well…I guess I am a bit bigger than most mares.”
The entire scene grew silent yet again, save for Gusty’s labored breathing, the tiny trickling of tears from Cadance’s eyes, and the stunned gawking coming from Blueblood’s jaw. A chilly wind blew through the streets, clanging shutters and rustling chimes. Even the very sky seemed to darken slightly, as if some great force was pushing down from the very heavens to blanket the world.
Finally, having had time to calm down, Gusty fell back on her haunches. “I-I’m sorry. I’ve just never seen a mare as tall as you before. You’re, like, princess-sized.”
Cadanca wiped the droplets from her eyes, climbed back to her hooves, and walked over to the nervous filly. “There, there. It’s all right. You were right, after all. Just…don’t say things like that from now on, okay? You might hurt somepony’s feelings.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” the filly sighed. “I’m sorry.” She turned to Blueblood, the colt just barely managing to regain his senses. “And I’m sorry, too. I’ve just…never seen a mare that big before.”
Blueblood sighed and walked over to Cadance. “Well, you’re right. She is big. But she’s also really cool!” he said with the largest amount of sarcasm he could muster. “So, should we be getting home before mom gets worried?”
Cadance nodded. “Actually, we have one stop to make. But yes, we really should be going before it gets late.”
The added stop made Blueblood a little nervous, but nonetheless, he waved farewell to Gusty and followed his now-older cousin down the street…
----------
The bakery was, to put it simply, old. While some of the wooden support beams, counters, and tables were obviously shiny and new, the entire outside of the structure screamed of a building several hundred of years in age. By the time Cadance and Blueblood arrived, the place was about half-full, mostly with students from the Canterlot Magic University enjoying a muffin break. Fortunately, there was a table seated far in the back, where nopony would notice them.
Cadance pointed at the chair facing the counter. “You can sit here, Leon. You want some hot chocolate?” Blueblood nodded, his mind still confused by all these events. Cadance smiled, adjusted her cloak, and walked up to the counter.
Blueblood, once again alone with his thoughts, glanced looked around the small bakery. Sure enough, it was…a bakery. Very…bready, with every panel, chair, table, and floorboard radiating carbohydrates. It was a far cry from the kitchens in his former home, where the best bakers willing to work on the cheap produced the best bread possible in a perfectly clean kitchen. Here, everything was cramped, wooden, and more than a little irritating to his royal sensibilities.
His chair also faced the back kitchens. There, a hoofful of ponies, including a vaguely familiar stallion, were busy rolling dough, twisting and salting pretzels, patting in the yeast, and finally shoving their soon-to-be creations into a massive oven to finish their formation. When the bread was baked, an Earth pony mare lifted the new products from the back to the main counter, where some were sold immediately and others were placed on the shelves and in the display cases to attract more customers.
Yes, this was just any normal, peasant bakery…save for the blue filly that had just stepped through a back door next to a pair of stairs leading up to what Blueblood assumed to be a living area. She had made it up about two steps by the time she realized she was being watched. Her beady little eyes slowly scanned across the entire bakery, passing over the various ponies before finally centering in and arming friendship missiles on the little white colt in the far corner.
Blueblood’s eyes widened as he finally pegged down the face rushing towards him like a mad bull. “R-Rib-”
“LEON!”
The filly leaped from the floor, slamming Blueblood in a flying tackle maneuver worthy of any professional wrestler. The impact was so great that both of the foals and the stool Blueblood had been seated on went flying to the floor. The little ponies bounced twice before finally stopping next to the wall. “Oh wow, this is so cool! I didn’t know you liked bread!”
Blueblood let out a deep breath, which wasn’t hard considering a filly was currently pressing her hooves down on his lungs. “H-Hello, Ribbon,” he coughed. “I-It is…amazing to…see you here…today and…”
“Oh my goodness, are you two okay?”
The two looked up at the big pink pony standing over them, mere moments before she finished levitating over some hot chocolates and muffins to the table. Blueblood’s face darkened with sheer humiliation, while Ribbon simply stared at the mare in shock. “W-We’re fine, Cadance,” Blueblood coughed.
The “Unicorn” sighed with relief. “Thank goodness.” Her eyes turn to the filly standing next to him. “And who’s your little friend, Leon?
Ribbon, in her stunned state, relaxed her hoof just enough for Blueblood to roll free and climb back up onto his stool. At the very least, it gave him something of a height boost. “This is Ribbon, one of my classmates. Ribbon, this is my cousin, Cadance.”
The blue filly smiled and nodded awkwardly, her eyes locked on the protruding bone in Cadance’s forehead. The mare raised an eye at the foal’s misplaced attention, then quietly yelped as she realized what her eyes were pointed on. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Are you…interested in my horn?”
“I-I’ve never seen a Unicorn with a horn that large,” Ribbon muttered. “What I heard is that if a Unicorn has a large horn, it means they have a lot of magical ability. You must really be a great sorcerer.”
Cadance blushed and shied away, doing her best not to flash her wings. Blueblood just sighed in relief and sipped down a little of his hot chocolate. I can’t say she’s wrong. My cousin’s genetics do give her a rather large amount of capability. She’s certainly better at magic than I ever was.
His eyes suddenly widened, mere moments from his hoof reaching his muffin. Wait…that thing about horns… It wasn’t about magic, it was about…
“And you must have great virility!”
Everything in the bakery became as still as the grave. Every single pony in attendance stared at the sight with slacked jaws, sunken eyes, and gurgles that signified everything from “amusement” to “horror.” Cadance herself had to fall back on her haunches, her eyes locked on the now-ruined point on her head. Blueblood simply sank beneath the table, doing his best to impersonate a prairie dog.
The kitchen doors opened, allowing Sourdough to march out onto the store floor. Ribbon flashed a warm smile to her mother, only for it to cool into a frown as she saw the scowl in place. “Um…is something wrong, mom?”
“Young lady, is that how we talk?” Sourdough’s voice was low and hushed, sending shivers up the backbones of everypony in the room.
“B-But…it’s what I heard!” Ribbon moaned. “One of the big ponies in my study group said that…”
“I-It’s quite all right,” Cadance mumbled, her eyes closed to keep the sweat on her brow from burning her retinas. “She didn’t know what she was saying. I promise, I’m not…”
Sourdough slowly lowered her head until she and her daughter were muzzle-to-muzzle. “You know, one of the bedrooms is quite the pigsty. I think a certain little filly needs to march her flank upstairs and start cleaning.”
“B-But…” Ribbon’s shot a hoof in Blueblood’s direction. “L-Leon’s…”
Sourdough looked up at the colt. He could already feel his will to live shrivel into a dried raisin before blowing away like dust in the wind. “W-Well…I…I just…”
“If you wanted to spend time with your friend, you should have thought about what you were saying.” Sourdough pointed a hoof at the far staircase, her eyes now burning with parental anger. “Now, you march up those stairs and have your room cleaned. Otherwise, you can forget about dinner.”
Small tears began to form in Ribbon’s eyes. “B-But…”
All this earned her was a downward smash of her hoof. “No ‘buts,’ missy!”
Ribbon sniffled and pouted, but finally gave in to her mother’s wishes and began the long, hard trot up the stairs. Sourdough’s eyes traced her every step, locking on the steps until her daughter was well out of view. Once she heard a door close, she finally allowed her face to reset to a less sour expression. “My apologies, everypony. When I find out who taught her such language…”
Cadance chuckled nervously. “W-Well…I guess we should be going…”
“W-WAIT!” Sourdough’s eyes snapped wide open as her customer service skills kicked into gear. She dashed behind the counter, ducked out of sight for a few seconds, and then returned with half-a-dozen muffins on a metal tin. After setting the dish on the table, she turned to face the two customers. “I am sorry you were inconvenienced, so please, accept these on the house.”
The pink mare regarded the pastry treats before her with no small measure of disquiet. On the one hoof, they were free muffins. On the other hoof, she hadn’t done anything to earn them, and it would be a bad example for Leon to follow if she just started gorging on things she hadn’t paid for. Sighing, she turned to face Sourdough. “I thank you very much for your hospitality, but I am afraid we really should be…”
“Phfey! Fi’m eafin’ fhear!”
Cadance and Sourdough both turned to Blueblood. The colt had finished his own muffin by this point, and was already almost finished with his second from the platter’s selection. A series of brief reprimands etched their way through Cadance’s mind, but in the end, she had no choice but to shrug, sit down, and start munching herself. Sourdough smiled at yet another satisfied customer before returning to the back to check on the next round of dinner rolls.
A content smile spread across Blueblood’s lips as he chowed down on his meal. This may not be the right thing to do, and Ribbon might be in trouble, but…I am NOT turning down free muffins!
----------
By the time the two had left the bakery, their bellies were practically bulging from all the sweet breads they had just ingested. Every step felt like they were wearing full plate over a floor made of magnets. “By Celestia, I’ve never eaten so many muffins at once in my life!”
“Tell me about it,” Blueblood said between burps.
Cadance giggled at her “cousin’s” flatulence before stopping at a nearby lamppost, her legs far too exhausted to carry her anymore without rest. “Actually, I had another reason to bring you out here. You see, I’ve been thinking about…”
“Excuse us, but we need some help.”
The two stopped as a cadre of burly stallions emerged from the shadows. Despite their well-pressed suits and expertly-combed manes, it was obvious from their scars and missing eyeballs that these weren’t the friendly ponies one would normally encounter on the streets of Canterlot. Cadance regarded the scene with no small measure of anxiety, but Blueblood’s own fear was much worse. Not only could he see the switchblades hidden in their horseshoes, but he could recognize more than a few of their attackers. These were some of the hired muscle the nobility would bring aboard to intimidate their targets.
Despite her obvious fear, Cadance cleared her throat and tried to sound brave. “Yes? How can I help you?”
“We’re looking for somepony,” said one of the goons. “And I think the little colt here is the one.”
Cadance feigned gasping as she dragged Blueblood closer. All this did, however, was get a few to switch open their weapons. “Please don’t make this any harder than it has to be. Our employer has already sent a carriage for you, and it took us a long time to find where you went. We’re already late for our meeting, so please come quietly…”
“And just who is this ‘employer?’” Cadance asked.
The stallion’s looked about each other, grunted out a few noise phrases, and then turned back to Cadance. “Oh, I believe you know who, Princess.”
----------
From the clouds above the street, a lone Pegasus watched as Cadance and Blueblood were loaded into a black carriage, which then sped off down the city’s back streets before heading towards the roads leading to the outer estates. He quickly motioned to the others behind him, who then fanned out to follow the vehicle…
----------
Luna struck out yet another line from her latest royal proclamation, set her quill aside, and re-read the edited section. “Literacy amongst our younger foals is one of the most important problems facing us as a nation today. A thousand years ago, reading was for the wealthy and nobility. And while it makes me proud to know that our new public school system is teaching our little ponies to appreciate literature, I have found some of the material questionable. Our foals need to learn proper lessons through reading, and stories about talking weevils are hardly…”
A loud knock reverberated through the chamber, its source being the bedroom door. Luna waited a moment for her hearing to return before answering. “Please, come in.”
A golden, pulsating aura surrounded one half of the door briefly before pushing it open, allowing its master, Celestia, the opportunity to enter this forbidden chamber of darkness and despair before dissipating entirely. The younger sister looked up from her desk and smile as her older sibling approached. “Good afternoon, sister. What brings you here?”
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about…” Celestia’s eyes slowly wandered over to the parchment. “What are you working on?”
Luna’s face beamed with pride as her horn carefully slid the parchment out of view. “Oh…nothing of importance.”
Celestia cocked an eyebrow, her lips curling downwards into a disapproving frown. She knew exactly what Luna was doing. It was the same self-styled crusade she had set out upon ever since her hospital visit. “I see. Well, in any case, I was wondering if you knew where Cadance and Blueblood were.”
“I thought that servant of yours, Sky Bloom, handled our little prisoner?” asked Luna.
Celestia sighed. “Normally, she would have, but Cadance was insistent on picking him up from school today. She said she wanted to take him to a local bakery for a muffin, but they should have been back by now. I’ve already sent out several guard patrols to look for her, but she never even said which bakery it was, just that it was in the Old Quarter.”
Luna groaned. Nearly half of the Old Quarter was bakeries, leftover businesses from the Great Donut Boom of 954 CE, and while she wasn’t present due to being reduced to an incorporeal state inside of the moon, she knew more than enough about how much destruction it caused. Nopony ever looked at a bearclaw the same way again. “Do you think Cadance would have done anything?”
“I don’t know,” Celestia muttered. “I…I just don’t know anything anymore.” The Sun Alicorn sighed and began pacing around the room, irritating the still-busy Luna to no end. “We should have told her the truth from the beginning. I wanted to tell her everything yesterday, but…she seemed to know so much already, and…I’ve already…”
Luna turned her chair about until she was facing Celestia. “It’s fine, sister. I’m certain they are all right. Blueblood may be a fool, but he wouldn’t allow Cadance to take him to anywhere he might be in danger. And I think we can trust her as well. After all, you did raise her.”
Celestia’s lips curled into a sneer. “Don’t remind me. I still can’t believe those parents of hers. They honestly thought that stupid tradition was more important than their own daughter? I was lucky to get them to let her visit more than once every five years. At least Blueblood’s parents cared a little for him before they turned him into…that.”
Luna cocked her head and climbed back to her hooves. She slowly trotted her to her sister and rested her head on her back in a small pony hug. Celestia shivered slightly from the sudden contact, but it still served its intended purpose; the elder sister’s nerves cooled back to their normal temperatures. She exhaled a deep breath and sighed. “I’m sorry. Some…bad memories have been resurfacing the last few weeks. I never should have gone back into that cave.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” Luna giggled. “But hey, you got some cake out of it. Sure beats cave moss.”
Celestia pulled herself back a step, barely suppressing a similar gaggle of giggles. “Well, I can’t argue with that assessment. Still, the sooner this is all done, the better I’ll feel. I’m sure they’ll be home any minute…”
----------
Needless to say, the mere sight of the Frazzleberry estate was more than enough to send chills running down the length of Blueblood’s spine. The massive manor house was older than even Blueblood’s ancestral home, having been built and maintained ever since the third century of Celestia’s solo reign. The grounds were decorated with perfectly-trimmed rose bushes, magnificent statues of Celestia and the foremost ancestors of the current Frazzleberry generation, and like all good Canterlot homes, a plastic pink flamingo. Nopony knew why, but ever since Celestia put one in a remote area of the castle grounds, everypony else had to follow suit, lest they be seen as denouncing their ruler’s taste in fashion.
The carriage slowly pulled to a stop in front of a massive stone fountain. Four intricately-carved koi fish sat upon the fountain’s edge, ejecting water from their mouths into a central pool in the center. Meanwhile, standing on a pedestal in the center of the whole mess was a small Unicorn cherub, a gleaming sword held skywards in his mouth. Blueblood shuddered as he recognized the inspiration for this decoration. “The Legend of Celestia’s Seraphim Knight” was certainly well-known amongst the horned members of Canterlot’s elite; the story of a small Unicorn helping Celestia defeat the barbaric lesser races was an ancient story, used to promote Unicorn supremacy amongst ponykind.
Even at his worst, though, Blueblood didn’t buy it. For one thing, a foal would not be able to swing a broadsword. That, and the whole bacon episode in the later sagas was rather bizarre.
Blueblood and Cadance heard the riders out front unhitch themselves, followed by heavy hoofsteps against cobblestone. The doors suddenly opened, revealing two of the burliest stallions either had ever set their eyes upon. Before they could say anything, the ones inside the ride pushed their passengers out, the two landing in the cold, iron-shoed hooves of the bigger ones.
“Now, please be careful. These are our guests, after all.”
Blueblood’s blood ran cold as he heard the voice. He may have been less than half his former height, but he could recognize such a harsh, evil tone anywhere. Slowly, he lifted his head just enough to make out the features of Baron Frazzleberry. And standing to his right was none other than Orange Peel. “Looks like you got them, dad!”
Blueblood’s mouth dropped. “DAD?!”
Cadance’s brow furrowed with rage. “Frazzleberry, what is the meaning of this?”
The Baron tsked the two, while his son’s maniacal grin only grew. “Princess Cadenza, I do not wish you any harm. I just wish to have a nice, pleasant chat with one of my son’s classmates. I apologize for getting you involved as well, but I suppose I should kill two birds with one stone.”
He clapped his hoof against the ground. “Take them into the west parlor. Make sure that their every need is attended to, short of their freedom.” He looked down at his eager son. “And please get Orange Peel his favorite drink. This shall be a long night.”
----------
The Pegasus reached his position just as the door closed. It may have been getting dark, but anypony who had ever served in the Royal Guard knew their way around dark places. Perched on a nearby cloud, he could make out some of the activity inside, but not where the Princess and Blueblood had gone to once inside.
Sighing, he flew down from his position and landed next to a waiting Shining Armor. “They’re inside, sir. I don’t know what’s going on.”
The Captain sighed. “I understand. You tell the rest of our ponies to stay back; we don’t want anything to happen to either pony. I’ll notify the Princesses and give them the update.”
The Pegasus snapped up a salute, spun on his hooves, and took off towards the horizon. Once he was gone, Shining’s horn began to emit a low glow…
----------
Frazzleberry took another sip of brandy, his eyes fixed on his son and two guests. Orange Peel quietly sucked his juice box down, his triumphant grin never leaving his face even in the face of lima bean-flavored punch. Cadance and Blueblood remained without any kind of liquid, the latter simply subsiding on the massive candy dish full of cone-shaped chocolates, hard-shelled candies, and candy-coated almonds. The electric lights were all off, leaving only the menacing roar of the fireplace to provide light of any kind. Six bodyguards and a hooffull servants watched the group in quiet contemplation, their silhouetted forms growing and shrinking with each flicker of the flame.
Blueblood rolled his eyes at the stillness in the air, even as his cheeks were puffed like a chipmunk from all the comfort treats. The whole setting was typical of those in the nobility. Whenever they needed to address an enemy, or make themselves look more important to a potential ally, they would always dress up their appointments in this kind of gaudy, dark, and unwelcoming atmosphere. Supposedly, it made them look more intimidating, like they were capable of bringing the sky down upon anypony who dared to offend them in some manner.
Of course, the illusion was broken by the orange foal, but nopony bothered to bring it up. Knowing that he was just looking silly right now would have only served to hurt Frazzleberry’s feelings, after all.
The Baron took another sip before addressing the foal. “I assume you know why I brought you here?” Blueblood’s response was a non-indicative shrug. The stallion smiled, took a deeper sip, and floated the glass back to the nearby table before tapping his forehooves together. “It has come to my understanding that you and my son have been attending the same school the past week or so. In that time, I have received two messages informing me of his misbehavior and a parent-teacher conference.”
Cadance glanced over at the still-smug colt. Her eyes briefly flashed with a cool anger before returning to their normal expression. “But what does Leon have to do with any of that?”
The stallion smirked. “I have known of my son’s behavioral problems for some time, but it appears that every time an incident occurred, Leon and his friends were involved in some way. And I certainly know of his heritage. Or does he look exactly like a young Prince Blueblood purely by accident?”
Blueblood’s eyes exploded in horror. His body convulsed so quickly from the shock that he almost got an almond stuck in his throat. Wait…he knows? He…How…Huh?
Orange Peel snorted at the sight of Blueblood’s displeasure, stopping only when his sudden outburst earned him a very stern look from his father. Cadance scooped out a candy and tossed it down her throat, her eyes fixed squarely on the stallion. “Baron Frazzleberry, if you are insinuating that…”
The sifter floated back to the Baron’s lips. He took a big gulp of the brown liquid down before setting it aside, leaving only a tiny puddle of liquid buried beneath four half-melted ice cubes. The stallion coughed for a few seconds as the fire water burned from the inside, then continued. “Princess Cadance, I mean no disrespect to you. However, there is a very important matter that Leon and I must discuss. He has to know where his parentage has landed him.”
“He already knows his father was banished!” Cadance snapped. “What more does he need to…”
Something prodded the mare in the wings. Her eyes followed the source of the impact to Blueblood; the colt was now staring at her in a manner not unlike a puppy begging for a treat. “It’s fine,” he said. “I want to hear this.”
The stallion scoffed. “I must admit, for such a young foal, he had a remarkable level of maturity. Must get it from his mother, whoever she is.”
Orange coughed out his straw and started laughing like a hyena. “Yeah, how’s it feel to be a bas-”
The curse died down as Frazzleberry leaped from his chair, his hooves slamming down hard enough to rattle a few trinkets. Nonetheless, that much force was enough to put the fear of Celestia into his son; he quickly began to crawl backwards on his hindquarters, which was no small feat considering pony physiology. “I thought I had told you to never use such language!”
“B-But…that’s what he…” The colt’s last few words fused together into a single, whining blob of meaningless drivel.
The stallion clapped his hooves together, causing one of the servants to leave the darkness and approach. “Take my son to the washroom. Make sure his mouth is properly cleaned this time.”
The servant quickly bowed grabbed the colt by his back, and slowly left the room, the foal thrashing and screaming in outrage and fear every step of the way. Blueblood and Cadance simply watched the spectacle from their seats, both secretly glad that nopony ever shoved soap down their throats whenever they used vulgar language.
“My apologies,” Frazzleberry muttered as he sank back into his chair. “My son has been very temperamental for quite a while. I honestly don’t know what has gotten into him, but ever since that one filly talked to him, he’s been acting like a delinquent.”
“I…see…” Cadance muttered. She looked back down at the candies Blueblood was packing away. “But still, why are you doing all this?”
“Because we have a score to settle.”
Before Cadance could react, an energy field enveloped her body and floated her up into the air. Blueblood jumped to his hooves in a panic as Cadance’s hooves locked onto the top of a nearby chair, only to have herself be pulled away again by a second burst of magic. Next came a third, then a fourth, and finally two more. Behind her, the six bodyguards’ horns were glowing like candles during Hearth’s Warming Eve, their power focused on holding the (theoretically) most powerful pony in the room in one spot.
Frazzleberry slung his glass up and finished his drink, his mood darkening with every gulp. He then tossed the glass into the fire; the last few drops of alcohol created a small rush of fire as the container shattered. “And that’s why I brought you here. It’s time we settled the matter of your house once and for all.”
Cadance struggled to break free, but the combined power of six stallions was strong enough to keep her pinned down. Blueblood similarly tried to back away, but his poor positioning from earlier had left him directly against the couch. Even then, his overwhelming sense of dread was more than enough to overwhelm his brain’s attempts at promoting escape.
The Baron loomed overhead. His eyes threatened to burn a hole straight through the colt’s skull, while his hooves promised lots and lots of stomping. “Leon, son of Prince Blueblood…”
Blueblood cowered. Cadance gasped and tried to muster one last burst of Love Magic, but the spell couldn’t be weaved in time. Everything seemed to move in slow-motion as Baron Frazzleberry, third-greatest enemy of Prince Blueblood, towered over his helpless “son,” took one step back…
And then bowed down. “I wish to apologize for my son’s actions. And my own.”
Blueblood’s eyes popped open. “Huh?”
Cadance’s eye twitched. “What?”
Every servant and bodyguard gasped and whispered amongst each other, their minds unable to discern exactly what had just happened. A frown spread across the Baron’s face as he stood back up, his horn lighting up in the process. A small aura appeared over a distant switch for a few seconds before flipping it up, turning on all the overhead lights. Now that everypony could see each other more clearly, Frazzleberry trotted back to the fireplace and leaned against the wall. “I suppose I should explain myself more.”
“That…would be very helpful,” Cadance said as she walked past, stopping only when she reached Blueblood’s side.
Frazzleberry loudly cleared his throat, adjusted his suit, and then continued. “As I said, our houses have been at war for a very long time. Ever since Blueblood’s family chose to aid House Huffy, the head of every generation of Frazzleberry has sworn to bring down those who opposed us. Even after Huffy’s sudden but inevitable betrayal, your house was still a constant reminder of how close we came to falling.”
Cadance rolled her eyes at the whole mess. She had tried her best to avoid getting involved in any of the house wars, especially since having a Winged Unicorn on someone’s side could tip the balance of power once and for all. That and most of them were, according to her younger self, “Stupid meanies that deserved to be ran into the Coliseum and fed to the lions.”
Blueblood, however, remained transfixed on Baron Frazzleberry. Now that he was no longer in danger of being crushed like a grape, the scene around him finally had time to filter through his brain a bit better. All that did was make him more confused. “Then…if you hated my dad so much, why are you being so nice to me?”
Frazzleberry let out a deep sigh before rolling his head up. “Ah yes, your father was certainly a lout. He was a spoiled, self-centered, pompous, loudmouthed, small-minded, arrogant, holier-than-thou stallion who more than deserved to have his…” His jaw closed with an audible snap, stayed that way for several seconds, and then reopened. “My apologies. I…am not used to the company of strange foals. My son never brought his friends over.”
His horn lit up, a magic field soon pulling up a nearby pipe stuffed with corn kernels. Another burst of magic, and a match had lit the kernels. The stallion took a puff, sending out a burst of popcorn like miniature fireworks. Blueblood rolled his eyes at the familiar novelty item. Poppers. I never could stand those things.
“You see, my boy, your father was awful. But in a way, so was I.” Another puff, another burst of butter-free goodness. “Ever since I was a colt, I dreamed of the day I would finally destroy Lord Huffy and bring down his pathetic house. Every month, we dueled during the monthly dinner at the palace. Celestia was always busy, we thought, but she never said anything against it, so it seemed fine. We both got some scraps in, and I believe your father once tried to join before Huffy took him out with a baguette. But the last one…”
Blueblood and Cadance’s eyes both shot wide open. Neither one had been at the event, thanks to Blueblood being under house arrest and Cadance in Stalliongrad, but they had both heard tales of that blood-curling night. Frazzleberry’s entire coat paled as he took several desperate puffs on his pipe, shooting off popcorn like a movie theater machine. “I…misjudged Princess Luna. Whenever I heard her name, I could only think of those old legends about a monster that eats foals one night a year. So when she intervened in my destined duel, I…called her what I thought she was.”
Cadance sighed. “You called her Nightmare Moon, didn’t you?”
The entire room fell completely silent, save for the crackling of the fire and the hum of the electric lights. Frazzleberry slowly walked back to his chair and flung himself onto its cushiony surface. “Yes, I did. I called her many things that night, and none of them good. She returned the favor by exposing us all as we truly were: a decadent cabal of backstabbers and social climbers, with nothing to do but humiliate Princess Celestia with our mere existence.”
“I…heard something happened,” Blueblood said quietly, “but I never knew what it was exactly.”
Frazzleberry sighed. “Ever since then, many of us have been examining our lives, trying to find some way to make up for generations of misconduct and abuse. Raisinette, for example, has stopped using slander and lies in her advertising. And as we speak, Lord Huffy and I are in negotiations to settle our families’ dispute. But with your father’s banishment, I was unable to fully close off that part of my old life. Fortunately, with you here, perhaps we can come to some kind of agreement.”
Blueblood cocked his head. “Huh?”
“What I am asking for is your forgiveness.” Frazzleberry clapped his hooves together, summoning a nearby servant to bring him a new glass of alcohol. He took a few sips, and then set the glass back down to pop some more corn. “You are only heir to Blueblood’s that we know of, and were it not for blind fortune, I would have not known of your existence. And that’s why I had you brought here, so you would know that the Frazzleberry line will no longer bear your family any harm.”
“Then why all the kidnapping?” asked Cadance. “You could have just, you know, asked nicely?”
Frazzleberries face remained unchanged for several seconds, as if his brain was having trouble processing what he had just heard. Finally, the surges hit just the right pattern, and he turned to the Princess with eyes wide open. “Wait…that was an option?”
The mare groaned. “What do you mean? Of course that was always an option!”
“I just…I was just told this was how all meetings should go. It was how I scared away the Cider Ponies, purchased the land rights to that zebra tribe’s village, and got that loan for a new yacht out of Manehatten harbor.” Frazzleberry sighed. “Yet another teaching of our ancestors that doesn’t apply anymore.”
Blueblood shrugged. “Trust me, I know.”
The three finally shared a small laugh, which gradually evolved into a full-on, frustrated, uncomfortable chuckle. Cadance was still angry at what had happened, Frazzleberry knew he was doomed once Celestia had learned what he had done, and Blueblood was more than a little nervous about what awaited him in the future, but for now at least, the danger was all behind them…
----------
From atop a dark cloud, a pair of large, winged figures watched an old carriage work its way through the country roads and back towards the city streets. The guards were already galloping away, save for a few Pegasi assigned to keep an eye on the estate grounds. Once Frazzleberry had gone inside, the leftmost figure breathed a sigh of relief. “I suppose that is the end of this madness.”
The other shook her head. “No, not by a long shot. I believe we should be making our way back to the castle before they arrive. There is much more we need to prepare.”
----------
By the time Frazzleberry had reached his son’s perfectly-kept bedroom, the last few suds were still on the sides of the little colt’s mouth. “You didn’t have to do that, dad.”
“Then you shouldn’t have spoken in such a manner,” Frazzleberry replied coldly. “You are my son, and I expect much better behavior of you than what I saw tonight.”
The colt simply shrugged and jumped onto his bed. “So, they’re all gone now? You scared that stupid Leon away forever? I won’t have to see his stupid mug in school again?”
Frazzleberry shook his head as he entered the bedroom. Orange Peel scooted back slightly, if only to protect his rear from a belt, but upon seeing no such instrument sighed in mistimed relief. “My son, the war between the Frazzleberries and the Bluebloods is now over. I thank you for bringing him to my attention, but now I must ask you not to attack him again.”
All the bravado and joy in Orange Peel’s eyes disappeared in an instant. The colt jumped down from his bed and charged up to his father, his eyes livid with anger. “Wh-What do you mean? He’s a stupid little dork! What, do I have to act like he’s a prince or something? Are you trying to ruin school for me?!”
For all his son’s shouting and whining, Frazzleberry’s face never changed. He just looked his son dead in the eyes and blew another batch of popcorn from his pipe. “Actually, I don’t think you’ll be having that problem for much longer…”
----------
The first half of the carriage-ride back was wreathed in an awkward, bewildered silence. Cadance and Blueblood simply stared out the window as the cart left the estate grounds and began circling the streets of Canterlot. The sun was barely visible in the horizon, leaving the entire city wreathed in a dull, shadowy pall for the twilight hour. The streets were almost completely deserted, with only a few straggling ponies hurrying to finish their daily tasks before nightfall.
It wasn’t until the carriage pulled the corner that Cadance spoke. “I…really didn’t expect that.”
“Neither did I,” said Blueblood. “Frazzleberry was- I mean, I was told he hated my dad, but…why didn’t he do anything?”
Cadance tapped a hoof against the carriage’s foreleg rest. “I heard something happened while I was gone. Apparently, something happened at the monthly dinner party, and Aunt Luna lost her temper. Perhaps he’s still scared of what she’ll do if he tried to hurt you.”
Blueblood nodded. “Yes, that…sounds right. Princess Luna can be very scary, after all.”
The two exchanged a nervous laugh, now bonding over their shared despair over what Princess Celestia would do once they got back to the castle. If Frazzleberry wasn’t immediately executed, banished, or executed and then banished, he would still be facing certain punishment for the kidnapping. And then there was one other issue digging at Blueblood’s mind.
Does everypony know about this now?
----------
“And that’s what happened,” Cadance finished.
Celestia let out a mournful sigh as she circled the three for the fiftieth time in the last twenty minutes. Cadance huddled next to Shining Armor, while Blueblood remained between the two of them. If one didn’t know better, they could have assumed they were already a happy couple with a bouncing little colt of their own. In any case, it would be a miracle if they could get that far at this rate.
The pacing finally ceased as Celestia stepped onto her royal throw rug. “So, this is the result of Luna’s little outburst? Kidnapping princesses like something from a foal’s bedtime story?”
Shining Armor took a small step forward. “Princess, Cadance and Leon haven’t been hurt, and as far as we can tell Baron Frazzleberry had no intention of putting either into danger.”
Celestia shook her head. “No, this is…this is serious. We will have to discuss this more thoroughly in the morning. In the meantime, I want a full watch on Frazzleberry’s estate. Nopony goes in or out without either myself or Luna knowing.” Her eyes turned to Cadance and Blueblood. “And as for you two…I’d recommend going to bed. It’s been a long night for all of us.”
----------
“Cadance, I…I don’t think this is necessary.”
Blueblood struggled against the iron-clad confines of his bedsheets. No matter how hard he squirmed or shimmied, nothing could break free. His cousin, however, just laughed at his absolute misery. “Oh come on, Leon. Don’t tell me nopony’s ever tucked you in before.”
“N-Not in a while,” the colt coughed back. “But I’m fine. I don’t need anypony to do this. I can get to sleep on my own.”
Cadance sighed, a smile still fresh on her lips. “So I guess a bedtime story and lullaby are out of the question?”
For the love of Celestia, YES! “I’ll be fine.”
With one last little giggle for the road, Cadance rose from her sitting position and patted the colt on the forehead. Blueblood winced from the sudden contact, especially as her hoof touched the very sensitive skin around his horn. “Well, I guess it’s time for little princes to get some sleep.”
And then it happened.
The single moment that destroyed Blueblood’s very sense of identity and self in one swift motion.
Princess Cadance leaned over and gave him a quick goodnight kiss on the side of his forehead.
By the time Blueblood was capable of pony speech again, his cousin had already left the room. He muttered something unintelligible even to him under his breath, rubbed his face in a desperate attempt to clean away the disgust, but there was no way to scrub his brain. All he could do was sob into his pillow and try to drum up some memory to hate her by…
----------
Blueblood leaned back in his massive recliner, taking in that new-chair smell that he loved so much. His parents, now that they had retired to private life in Manehatten’s social circles, had been nice enough to allow him to take his inheritance early and become the owner of many of their former lands. This was a definite advantage over those who had to downsize after their parents blew away their legacy on dice and foal’s card games. He had no time for such frivolities, of course. He was a prince, and a prince had a duty to his country.
And he had much to do. It had been but a year since his return, and he had seen more than enough to know that his parents were right. Princess Celestia truly had let the country slip too far, and it was his responsibility to bring it back. No matter what, Equestria would prosper.
“Excuse us, sire, but we have something for you.”
Blueblood broke from his inner thoughts at the sound of the green mare’s voice. She was dressed in the same maid’s outfit his father had imposed on them in the past, but it was obvious from the way she carried herself that she was no mere servant. Still, he had to treat the lower classes with at least a little bit of respect; that is, as long as they were useful. “I take it you’re with the detective agency?”
“Of course,” said the mare. “I just started a few weeks ago.”
“Well, I suppose congratulations are in order,” said Blueblood. “Now, what have you found out about that stallion Cadance’s been eyeing?”
The mare reached into her outfit and removed a small dossier, which she then set on the desk. Blueblood handed her the usual bits, plus a tip for the home delivery, and she departed as quickly as she had come. He could never figure out why they insisted on the disguises, but as long as they got him the political clout he needed, he didn’t really care.
Once he was certain he was alone again, Blueblood’s magic went to work, leafing through the various documents, photographs, and other assorted files his agents had managed to dig up. To their credit, they had done a very thorough job; everything from his birth certificate to his dental records was available, as were his performance evaluations, his report cards, and even what side of the bed he slept on and his favorite brand of hoof polish.
Blueblood’s determined frown slowly faded as he took in page after page of biographical data. “Graduated top of his class… Excellent performance evaluations… Takes a marvelous amount of pride in his appearance…” He sighed. “I do suppose there is nothing to object to here. He is a fine officer, obviously with some…hidden intelligence. If he treats my cousin well, then I suppose…”
Then he saw it. Tucked away at the very end of the intel was Captain Shining Armor’s family tree, going back fifteen generations. Blueblood could not help but let out a gasp of horror as he lay witness to his cousin’s lover’s sordid past. In all his life, he had never imagined anypony with this kind of heritage could ever make it past the rank of Private.
Shining Armor’s family had noble blood…but they had broken free of House Sparkle over eight generations prior. According to the supplemental records, the split was over an argument over a dowry, which lead to Shiny Silver severing all ties with the family so she could marry the worst thing imaginable: a writer. The motif was only kept up for appearances, and nothing more.
This was far below the amount of noble blood required to even talk to a princess, much less date one.
Blueblood’s blood ran cold as horrid thoughts rushed through his mind. He had almost fallen for his con. And according to tradition, it was his responsibility to see that things were set right. For his cousin. For his aunt. For Equestria!
----------
Yes… That’s it. She wishes to marry a stallion well below her social level! Such a horrible thing will…no doubt…lead to…
The colt’s thoughts stopped dead in their tracks. Wait…that was my only objection. The only thing I could find fault with was his bloodline. Th-That is hardly a reason to put an end to such a happy couple. I was as wrong as I ever was.
He tossed onto his side, his face twisting with concern. If I go back, I’ll just be the same Prince Blueblood. All everypony will know me for is being a monster. But if I stay here, I’ll have to restart everything. B-But I’ll still have my friends, Cadance will still like me, and Princess Luna won’t try to kill me again.
Another roll, this time ending with the colt’s head pressed firmly against his pillow. Maybe…I shouldn’t go back at all. Perhaps the world would be better off without a Prince Blueblood…
TO BE CONTINUED
A/N: Special thanks to everypony who helped proofread this one. You guys were a big help.
evanpeterson:
Derpy: "I have taught you well"
Fulmin Drake:
I'm still wondering why Cadance didn't just, you know, use that big, magical horn of hers to beat off the thugs, or her wings to fly herself and Leon away, or yell for help in the busy Canterlot street, or use her special talent to make the guards lovey-dovey for each other's masculine, rock-hard abs and chiselled, clefted chins...
Excuse me, have to write a clopfic.
Ahh, so it is supposed to be a trap. Oh well, still leaving this comment because I like where it went...
Matthew Soibelman:
Well... I dunno. I guess Cadance isn't the confrontational type. Her cutie mark is "love," not "jersey"
*edit: Apologies in advance to anyone from Jersey. Just a joke :/
nova_25:
This is not believable, at all. I mean, come on... they KNOW she's a princess, they KNOW she's a VERY good friend of the *rulers of the Equestrian nation* !
At the very first second Cadance has to speak with Celestia, them and ''him'' would go straight to jail (after a quick trial), for threatening royalty !
Fulmin Drake:
That sounds absolutely _dreadful_ .
William Antonelli:
I'm imagining Frazzleberry's voice as Clancy Brown. It is glorious.
Fulmin Drake:
"Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
http://youtu.be/znxFrgql5dc
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” Fanfiction
-AND-
A Wholly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
“Seventy-seven, seventy-eight…” Shining Armor slammed his hoof down, his ponies grunting and sweating beneath him. “Come on now! Am I training royal guards or a bunch of schoolfoals?!” He paused just long enough to catch Blueblood’s less-than-pleased face. “I mean…carry on.”
The push-ups continued, with everypony grunting and groaning underneath the agonizing weight of their heavy armor. The only exceptions to this were Blueblood, whose uniform remained little more than a cheap foal’s costume, and Burly Barley, the gigantic Unicorn that could balance the entirety of Canterlot on his back. Once again, everypony involved could feel their muscles burn and bristle against the massive amount of effort being placed on their bodies, but the training regimen was accomplishing its intended purpose. Everypony involved could feel the exercise bringing them closer together in their desire to murder Shining Armor while he slept.
“Ninety-nine, and…one hundred! Atten-HUT!”
Everypony in attendance quickly jumped back to attention without missing a beat. Even Blueblood managed to get his legs snapped back into position just in time for the usual morning peptalk. And once again, Shining Armor did not fail to disappoint. “Good morning, everypony! Is everypony all rested up after yesterday’s evaluations?”
The entire group groaned in response – in Blueblood’s case, however, it was more because of his aching muscles than any frustration over the evaluations he hadn’t been a part of. Shining Armor simply brushed off the aggravated response. “In any case, I want to say that you all did well. We are the Royal Guard, and we must protect not only the Princesses, but everypony who has ever set a hoof upon Equestria’s soil. To do that, we must be ready for anything and everything, and that’s why we have to check your skills from time to time.”
He cleared his throat before continuing. “Now, I will be attending a meeting with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna for most of the day. In the meantime, Lieutenant Rolling Thunder will be in command. Report to her for your assignments today. That is all. Dismissed!”
A great sigh of relief echoed throughout the courtyard, followed by the thunderous pounding of armored hooves and beating of razor-sharp wings as ponies took off in all directions to assume their usual posts. Before long, the only ponies remaining were Captain Armor, a nearby Lieutenant, and a few others, including the pony Blueblood needed to talk to…
“Excuse me! Sergeant Flyover?”
The Pegasus stallion broke away from the others he was speaking to and turned to face the colt. Blueblood’s nerves seemed to give way for just a moment, but still he managed to stand his ground and match eyes with the disciplined guardpony. “Well, what is it?” asked Flyover.
“I was just wondering…” Blueblood sucked in a big breath of air, then exhaled it slowly through his mouth. “Well, I’ve been…thinking things over, and…well, I’ve wronged a lot of ponies, and…you’re on the list, so…”
The stallion’s face refused to change, as if its features had been glued into place. “Are you talking about what happened with me and Firelight under the bridge…”
Blueblood nodded. “That’s it. I…wanted to say that I’m sorry I…outted you.”
The guard groaned. “I…”
“And used the photograph as the model for a full-scale mural.”
“Blueblood, I wo…”
“And then put it on display at the palace grounds, inviting your parents over to look at it, and then declaring you a disgrace to the guards because you were too busy indulging in your romantic passions to properly serve the crown.”
The entire courtyard became deftly silent, save for a few leaves rustling in the breeze. The other guards simply stared at the colt in slack-jawed amazement at the colt’s brazen confession. Flyover’s face, however, remained unchanged, even as Blueblood reared back in case of a sudden buck or strike. The fact that it was taking so long for the retribution to begin only intensified the colt’s fear.
The stallion, however, finally just shook his head. “I’m not going to do anything to you, Blueblood. I’m still more than a little pissed off at you, but…it was a while ago.”
The colt slowly looked up from his crouching position, allowing himself just the tiniest smile in the process. “W-Well, I…I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, and…if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, please, do not be afraid to ask.”
And with that, the colt was back up on his hooves and galloping away, just in case the guard changed his mind and decided to put his training to use on his skull. The remaining guards simply watched in silence for several moments after the spectacle had ended, unsure of just what to do. Nothing in their training had prepared them for such a monumental occurrence.
Finally, Razor Wing stepped up alongside his fellow soldier. “D-Did he just…apologize?”
Flyover nodded his head. “I…think so.”
Another guard popped his head up from the back. “B-But…Prince Blueblood don’t feel sorry for nuthin’!”
With that, the guards returned to their morning mumbles and wishes for good luck and peaceful days, as well as praying for the sake of the Equestrian language. Flyover, on the other hoof, simply broke away from the crowd, gave the still-stunned Shining Armor a final salute, and finally flew off towards his posting in Lower Canterlot’s Western Quarter. The Captain was barely able to return the gesture before very slowly walked towards the castle entrance.
----------
To Blueblood’s surprise, only Luna was at the breakfast table, chewing away on some of the hardest flakes ponykind had ever devised. Even when covered in milk, their crunchiness never seemed to vanish. Even worse, an empty bowl was waiting for him, along with a glass bottle of milk and a big box of “Crunchy Crisps.” If he didn’t know better, he would swear that his molars were trembling at the horrible fate in store for them.
Sighing, he climbed into his seat. The moment his derriere made contact with the cushion, a dark aura appeared over the box, levitating it off the table slightly before tilting the box downward just enough for the flakes to tumble out. Once it was satisfactorily filled, the box returned to its former position, while the milk repeated the same process. And thus, Blueblood was ready to eat the breakfast recommended by nine out of ten dentists.
Luna swallowed another spoonful, her mouth twisting in pain as the jagged flakes slid down her throat. “Good morning, Blueblood.”
“Um…good morning,” he muttered back. In an instant, his mind began tracing his aunt’s greeting, scanning it for any inflections or double meanings that could imply his breakfast was poisoned, or that she was getting ready to drop an anvil on his head. To his amazement, however, he could find no real trace of maliciousness; at worst, she was just fiercely apathetic to his presence. All in all, it was even more disconcerting than when she was actively conspiring against him. “So…what plans do you have today?”
Luna swallowed another bite before floating a newspaper in front of her face. “Outside of a morning meeting, nothing of importance. I suppose I can finish my speech, there is something in the kitchens that need attending to, and I need to speak to the Corps of Engineers over...”
Before she could continue, Blueblood loudly coughed and cleared his throat. “What’s this about a meeting, anyway? Shining Armor mentioned it during the morning drills.”
The top of the newspaper folded downward, revealing Luna’s slanted eyes. “That is a confidential manner. If you do not wish to have your memory erased, I would advise you to drop the subject and never speak of it again.”
With that, the duo returned to their respective meals, with only the chewing of flakes and the slurping of milk to break the silence. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as they ate, read, and ate some more. Blueblood’s eyes, however, were rolling back and forth between Luna and his bowl at roughly the same rate his brain was working. The pros and cons of pursuing this line listed themselves before his mental faculties, stopping only when the tension became too much to bear. He had no choice left. “Princess Luna, there’s something I must discuss with you.”
The tiny, dignified sounds from the other side of the newspaper gave a very clear indication of Luna’s interest in his words. “Very well.”
Blueblood gulped and leaned his head down just slightly. “I just…wanted to apologize for my wrongdoings.”
The minute the words left his mouth, a very non-princesslike snort emerged from the other side of the paper. The newspaper quickly folded and set itself aside, revealing the tiny trails of milk just outside of Luna’s nostrils. The spoon, which had been levitating just to her side a moment prior, simply fell back into the cereal, while her eyes were wider than the serving trays used at state dinners. The sight was enough to send Blueblood reeling in shock and horror, as if he was staring into the very abyss of darkness. “A-Apologize?”
Slowly, Blueblood regained his senses and nodded in affirmation. “Yes. I have been…thinking, and with things proceeding as they are, it is time I tried to acknowledge all of the ponies I have wronged, including you. I…I am sorry I threatened to turn the court against you just so I could have revenge.”
The dining room was quiet once more, if only so Luna could find the right words to show her disbelief. After a few tiny squeaks and false starts, her vocal chords finally managed to intone actual syllables again. “Wh-What brought along this change?”
Blueblood sighed. “Last night, at Frazzleberry’s estate, he asked me for forgiveness. Despite being at war with my family for generations, he was willing to end the conflict, not just because I had left, but because of what you did during my imprisonment.” He lowered his head even more, until the tip of one of his locks threatened to enter his cereal. “Then when I went to bed, I had a chance to think about my own misdeeds. I’ve had barely a chance to shake any of these thoughts since this began.”
“So…you are trying to make amends.” Luna levitated her tea to her lips and took a small sip, the hot liquid serving to calm her nerves enough for her to resume normal functions. She let out a sigh of hot air and closed her eyes. “Blueblood, I understand what you want, but merely apologizing is not enough. Your threat was tantamount to blackmail and treason, and trying to kidnap my sister did not help your case.”
Blueblood sighed and raised his head back up, his shoulders still slack from his oncoming defeat. “I know. But there must be some way I can make things up.”
“There is,” Luna said, “but…I am not certain if I alone can make that decision.”
Luna exhaled a cold breath and looked down at her teacup. The black liquid rippled within, distorting what little of her reflection she could make out. Slowly, she lifted the drink to her lips, closed her eyes, took one last sip, and finally returned it to the saucer. Blueblood simply watched the long-practiced routine with no small amount of trepidation. Knowing his aunt, any attempt to atone for his misdeeds would involve either great pain or no small amount of humiliation. He could already hear her ordering him to scrub every sewer in Equestria clean.
Still, it’s what I deserve.
“In any case,” Luna finally said, her eyes still gracefully shut, “we are wasting time here. The matter of your final sentencing will not be for some time still, and when we are ready to pass judgment, we shall. Until then, pursue your penance in your own way, and try to avoid any wrongdoings.”
She opened her eyes just slightly, if only to accommodate for the grin on her face. “Like being tardy for your studies, for example.”
Right on cue, the castle began to echo with the heavy dongs and bangs of several clocks going off at once, signaling the beginning of a new hour. Blueblood’s eyes popped open as he quickly chugged down his entire bowl, hopped onto his hooves, and started galloping away to grab his saddlebags and join Sky Bloom. Luna simply sat there, her body unmoving.
Sister…you may be right. Again.
----------
To Blueblood’s amazement, Ribbon was not only already in her seat by the time he arrived, but was practically bouncing like a kangaroo at his approach. A massive paper was furled on top of her desk, held together only by a thin rubber band. Slowly, the colt wandered to his desk, set down his saddlebags, and climbed into the chair. “So, what happened last night?”
“Oh, mom just told me that I should never use that word again, but that’s not what’s important!” The filly’s hooves swiftly undid the band, letting the paper unroll itself until it had almost fallen off the desk entirely. Blueblood lunged forward in response, his own forehoof catching the paper before the hanging portion’s weight could slide the entire thing down. With another mighty hoist, he threw the sheet back onto Ribbon’s desk, and then slid his own seat over so the edges were touching.
Blueblood’s eyes widened as he took note of exactly what this was. Most of the body was taken up with a crudely-drawn image of what looked like seven ponies standing on top of each other, but the actual sheet itself was the kind used for construction projects and factory orders. He had seen plenty of them during the last renovation of his estate; they even bore the imprint of the same company he had hired to perform the labor. “Wait, where did you get this?”
Ribbon shrugged. “I dunno. Lofty said her dad had a bunch, so I guess she took his.” Her hoof tapped on the pile of misshapen ovals with sticks on their sides. “But this is what’s important! We can’t climb the tree, none of us can use magic, and Lofty can’t fly high enough. But in the circus, ponies do stuff like this all the time! They can get about fifty ponies on there at once, and then they grab ropes and bars and swing around and…”
“Um…Ribbon?” Blueblood asked. “We’re not in the circus.”
The filly scoffed. “I know that! But if they can do it, then so can we. All we have to do is get enough ponies to stand on each other, and then the one on top can just pull the ribbon down.”
Blueblood just nodded along, his brain poking out a million holes in this plan at about five miles per hour. “I don’t know. This sounds…really dangerous. I mean, what if somepony gets hurt?”
“Does anypony in the circus get hurt?” A big smile crept across Ribbon’s face. “And besides, wouldn’t it be worth it for free pudding? Free, breadless pudding?”
BRR-I-I-I-I-I-I-NG!
Any further mulling on the viability of pudding snacks as a motivation for performing ridiculous feats ceased with the ringing of the bells. Ribbon quickly rolled her plan back up and shoved it into her bags, doing her best to keep it out of sight of Miss Brightly or any of the class’ tattlers. Blueblood, however, quickly noticed something else horribly amiss about their room’s current status: Miss Brightly herself wasn’t in it. The other students, who had but moments ago been talking loudly amongst themselves, began to murmur in stunned silence at their sudden lack of any adult supervision.
Finally, two minutes after class was supposed to begin, a telekinetic field gripped and rotated the door handle. The entrance slowly swung open, revealing the long-lost teacher and an orange colt nopony had even bothered to check was missing. Even worse, however, their teacher’s normal off-the-walls exuberance was nowhere to be found, instead being replaced with a cold, downtrodden look of defeat. Orange Peel’s own countenance was not that far off, either.
“Good morning, class,” she said, although it was more like a whisper than a shout.
“Good morning, Miss Brightly,” the foals said in response, their little minds simply parroting what had been done before.
The teacher nodded her head slightly, and then continued. “I’m sorry I’m late, but there is something we have to discuss.” She looked down at the nearby colt. “I’m afraid that this will be Orange Peel’s last day with us.”
The news burned through the class like a wildfire. Fillies and colts from every corner of the chamber began to whisper to each other, some merely expressing surprise at the sudden change in the student body, and even more quietly celebrating the soon-to-be exodus of the biggest dispenser of wet willies and crushed spirits in the whole school. Only Blueblood, Ribbon and Snowball seemed to notice Orange Peel’s ears folding downwards as the noise only grew in volume.
Just before the actual words could become fully audible, Miss Brightly banged her hoof against her desk, thus calling everypony’s attention away from Orange Peel and back to her. “Now that’s quite enough. This is Orange Peel’s last day here, and I want it to be as pleasant as possible.” She leaned over to the colt. “Orange, you can go to your seat now. It’s time we started class.”
Orange Peel, his face as dead and emotionless as ever, simply nodded and trotted over to his desk, not even muttering a peep along the way. Once he was well out of range, Ribbon leaned over and whispered to Blueblood, “Orange Peel gone and we get pudding? This is gonna be the best day ever!”
Blueblood simply nodded, his mind barely registering Ribbon’s words. No matter how much he tried to return his attention to the all-important lesson on the differences between triangles and squares, he couldn’t help but feel that he was missing something here…
----------
It was but a short time after Prince Blueblood had been sent to his classes that Celestia appeared, teleporting into the hall outside her study in a brilliant flash of light. Both Princess Luna and Shining Armor quickly averted their eyes, just barely managing to avoid temporary blindness. Princess Celestia took a moment for her reformed lungs to draw in air again before turning to the other two members of her impromptu council. “My apologies for such a dramatic entrance, but there was very little time to do otherwise.”
Slowly, Luna lowered her forelegs. Shining Armor, meanwhile, wisely waited until the Moon Princess’ voice had made it clear all was safe. “I understand. Still, please be careful next time. Must I remind you of the palm tree?”
Celestia shuddered slightly. “Yes, I remember.”
“Um…” The two turned about at the sound of Shining Armor’s voice, their simultaneous gaze only intensifying the Captain’s unease. “I’m sorry, but there is still a lot I must do by the end of the day, and I don’t want to bog my Lieutenant down with my duties for too much longer.”
A tiny part of the stallion twinged, as if in fear of divine retribution, but to his great fortune, no lightning bolts came crashing through the ceiling to strike him dead. “I understand completely,” Luna said before pushing the study doors open, revealing the darkened chamber on the other side. “Now come, we have much to discuss. Sister, would you mind…”
Without so much as a second’s thought, Celestia’s magic lit the fireplace, scooted away the assorted tomes and scrolls, and finally floated out a trio of pillows to go around the low table. When she was done, she turned back to Shining Armor, pausing only to take in her Captain’s slack-jawed expression. “You have a bit of a cavity, Captain. I would recommend having somepony take a look at your teeth once in a while.”
Blushing, the Captain pushed his jaw back into position. “M-My apologies, Your Highness.”
With the gawking session concluded, the three entered the study and took their seats. The door slowly closed behind them, leaving the committee alone to pass their judgment. Six hooves rested themselves on the tabletop, as did Shining Armor’s helmet out of respect for royal traditions regarding such affairs. For almost a minute, nopony said as much as a word, simply allowing themselves to soak in the roaring fire’s afterglow.
Finally, Luna banged a hoof against the table four times, drawing everypony’s attention to her. “The way I understand the problem, we have two issues at hand. The first is that more and more ponies are beginning to misunderstand Blueblood’s identity. The second is Princess Cadance’s affection for the colt.”
Both of the other ponies nodded. “I can see what you mean,” said Celestia. “I must admit, I never foresaw this possibility when this began. I had hoped we would have had a week or two more to see whether or not Blueblood had changed, but time is no longer our ally.” She turned to Shining Armor. “Captain, your report on his progress during the training sessions?”
Shining cleared his throat and coughed before beginning in the most official tone possible. “I’ll admit, I was very uncertain when he joined. Princess Luna had just made me aware of what had happened with Twilight, and I...really wanted to get back at him.” He coughed and cleared his throat again, his vocal chords straining from speaking so formally. “Considering his attitude prior to this, however, he seems to be adapting very well to the morning routine. Despite his reduced stature and physical ability, he has showed some sense of determination in keeping up with the others. He even showcased a willingness to watch the combat evaluations yesterday.”
“Perhaps he was looking to start a fight,” Luna said sharply. Celestia raised an eye at this, silently prompting her sister to expand on her thought. “Perhaps Blueblood has changed in some ways, but the fact remains that he still has enemies. Frazzleberry’s actions alone are a testament to that. Perhaps he wishes to plan some sort of revenge?”
Celestia shook her head. “I doubt it. For all his bluster, Blueblood was far from a physically capable stallion. In fact, he tended to get his flank kicked by anypony he dueled, and that was when he actually bothered to show up.”
“And what I’ve seen doesn’t feel like a physically violent pony at all,” said Shining Armor. “In fact, he actually seems more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him.” He sighed. “And then there’s the matter of what happened this morning. Do you remember Sergeant Flyover?”
The Sun Princess groaned. She hadn’t forgotten about that day, and probably never would. Luna, meanwhile just looked about in bewilderment. “No, I…I am unfamiliar with that pony.”
“Blueblood revealed that he was a colt cuddler to an entire assembly, including his parents.” Shining Armor’s eyes narrowed, while a pair of crimson burns appeared on his cheeks. “Our dear prince tried to apologize to him earlier. He even offered to make it up to him, although I have no idea how somepony could make up for something like that. He didn’t quite accept it, but…I don’t think Blueblood really expected forgiveness in the first place.”
Luna snorted. “Imagine, Blueblood actually working? That would be most entertaining to watch.”
“In any case,” said Celestia, “the fact remains that we must come to a decision. Our time is running out, and we can no longer abide while Blueblood searches for answers on his own.”
“Then why not just tell him what he’s supposed to do?” Luna snapped. She banged her hoof against the tabletop hard enough to make the entire room shake, loosening tiny shreds of debris from the roof and sending some plaster tumbling onto the three. “Honestly, sister, this evasiveness of yours is unbearable.”
Celestia grinned. “I know, but there’s more to what I’m trying to accomplish than just forcing one bad pony to admit his misdeeds. If I just gave him the answers, he would simply memorize and recite them. He might have skimmed the surface of what he must know and do, but he wouldn’t understand the meaning. I did the same thing with Twilight Sparkle to save you, and it has worked for countless centuries.”
Luna’s eyes narrowed. “And what of Kuchen?”
In but a single sentence, all sense of life and joy seemingly vanished from the room. Celestia’s features darkened, her lips curling into a slight grimace while her ears flattened against the sides of her head. Luna simply watched her sister fall from her high top, simultaneously elated at deflating her ego slightly and upset with herself for going for the lowest blow. Shining Armor, on the other hoof, just looked about in confusion. “Ku-what? Is there something I should know about?”
“No,” Celestia whispered. “Kuchen is a…touchy subject. Still, the fault there was mine, and I learned my lesson. I just wish for Blueblood to have the same opportunity.”
Her head dipped forward a bit more, her muzzle coming dangerously close to impacting with the tabletop. “I had a chance to do so once, and I wasted it…”
----------
“And just what is this grand emergency, Blueblood?” Celestia asked.
“It’s Princess Cadance,” Blueblood said mournfully. “I have been looking at this...Captain Armor that she has been eyeing, and I fear he may not be the ideal choice for her.”
Celestia leaned her head downward and sighed. She had already gone through an entire morning of pointless meetings with a host of delegations and special interest groups, followed by an early afternoon in the court that involved every noblepony complaining that everypony else had worn better clothes than them at the last Grand Galloping Gala. And just like every year prior for the last two centuries, court ended with everypony petitioning for a system where everypony would know what everypony else was wearing; that way, a duke would not be shown up by a lowly baron.
This was not helping her day.
“Blueblood, I think your cousin knows what she’s doing. Shining Armor is an exceptional gentlecolt, and he and Cadance have been friends since they were in their teens.”
Blueblood shook his head. “I know he has a solid performance record, and I have seen his character. Were the situation different, I would be shoving the two down the aisle myself. But there is something truly dreadful about him that we must address. You see, I know his dirty, shameful secret.”
Celestia looked up from her paperwork, her face twisted in morbid curiosity. “I’m listening.”
Seeing his chance, Blueblood began to pace around the room, waving his hooves and head theatrically as he spoke. “I have examined his genealogy, and have learned that he is NOT of noble blood!”
A divine nerve twisted on Celestia’s brow. “I…see…”
“Do you not see the sheer level of scandal such a pairing will stir up! Why, I can see the Canterlot Times already! ‘Roaman Princess Dating Common Stallion!’” He performed a mock half-swoon, stopping just short of falling on his pampered flank. “And can you imagine what would happen to his family? They would become the targets of mockery and ridicule across the nation! The other families will make them easy targets! Others will begin to eye his younger sister – and your student – with suspicion! Why, some might even believe they were truly still of a noble house, when their blood is so thin as to be transparent!”
Celestia simply sat there, staring at her nephew in a mixture of disbelief and horror. This was the same kind of talk his…
Her ears perked up as a noise drifted up from outside. To Blueblood’s amazement, she just stood up and walked over to the window. As she witnessed whatever was going on outside, her expression changed to a smile. “Prince Blueblood, please come over here. There’s something you need to see.”
Blueblood cocked his head slightly at the request, but there was no way he could deny the Princess of Equestria anything. He slowly walked up alongside his aunt, just in case she suddenly turned evil and threw him out a window. Through the glass, the two could see the Canterlot Castle courtyard. There, amidst the newly-bloomed spring flowers and Celestia’s Fountain #43, stood Princess Mi Amore Cadenza herself, speaking with two other mares. Blueblood’s eyes widened as he recognized them. “Why…that’s the Lady Moonglow! And…who is that with her?”
“Silver Dust,” Celestia responded. “She’s one of the castle’s best servants.”
A terrible tremor spread across Blueblood’s body. “S-Servant? She’s fraternizing with the common ponies?”
Celestia nodded. “Indeed. While you were gone, Princess Cadance grew up. I don’t just mean that she found her special gift and earned her Cutie Mark, but she became curious about the world around her. She had no friends, her family was too terrified to speak to her, and the nobles seemed set on making her alone and miserable, so she finally asked me to help her meet some ponies from outside Canterlot’s noble circle.”
Blueblood could feel the blood draining from his face. “Y-You mean…you took my cousin to meet with the locals?!”
Despite the unease building inside her, Celestia couldn’t help but chuckle at Blueblood’s outburst. “Nothing of the sort. She chose to see what Canterlot had to offer, so I allowed her to go. Obviously, I had to take precautions, but still, there were plenty of odd jobs out there in Canterlot for a young mare. The one she spoke the most highly of, though, was when she was foalsitting.”
Blueblood’s head wanted to nod along, if only to acknowledge that Cadance truly did have that way amongst the spawns of Nightmare Moon known only as “foals.” At the very least, they didn’t pelt him with rotten fruit when she told them to stop playing their “stick ball” near his estate. However, the propriety of her position, juxtaposed against the sheer banality and lowliness of foalsitting only served to gnaw away at his heart.
“Cadance did tell me of her…position, but I thought she had been supervising one of the court’s foals. Why would she supervise a common pony’s child?”
Celestia grinned. “Because I suggested it. Princess Cadance will one day have to live up to a lot of responsibility, far more than even you ever will, and that means having to relate to the common pony. That was where she met Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle, although I’m afraid Cadance’s work schedule and my student’s…reluctance for social activities have kept the two from seeing each other since then.” The Princess shook her head. “She doesn’t even know her full title.”
Blueblood’s eyes slowly narrowed, stopping only when he had just the right cornea-to-eyelid ratio to create an accusing glare. “So…Twilight Sparkle becomes your student, and Shining Armor is suddenly promoted through the ranks until he believes his standing is good enough to bed my cousin?”
Celestia’s response was quick and decisive. Her own head snapped about, her eyes catching with Blueblood’s without so much as missing a beat. In an instant, the stallion’s blood began to boil under the heat of her gaze, as if he was now standing in front of the very sun itself. Her voice, however, remained the same as before. “Prince Blueblood, I am very disappointed in your attitude. Shining Armor has earned his rank, and I am not so low as to give a pony such an important position as Captain without being certain that they’re qualified. As for Cadance, just look.”
Whether it was out of fear of his aunt’s wrath, or simply a desire to keep his eyeballs from exploding, Blueblood slowly spun around until he was facing the courtyard again. The three mares were still talking away, completely oblivious to the figures watching over them. “Those experiences changed Cadance. She is no longer the shy, lonely filly who clung to you for protection. Your cousin is an adult, and is more than capable of making her own decisions regarding her love life. If she believes she can live with whatever the consequences may be, then I wish her well. And you should, too.”
The room fell quiet once again, Blueblood making no obvious move to respond. Instead, he seemed simply content to watch over the small scene beneath him. He could recognize the truth in Celestia’s words by sight alone. The way his cousin seemed to move and handle herself was nothing like how she used to be, back when the other foals stuck her mane into ink wells or called her a feathered freak. She wasn’t even hiding her wings anymore. This was the confident young mare he had always dreamed she would be.
“But that doesn’t change the facts.” Blueblood’s lips curled into a sneer as he turned away from the window and his aunt. “Shining Armor’s bloodline prevents her from even consorting with him, much less a mere servant.”
Celestia opened her mouth to shout out another threat, but it died in her throat. A terrible coldness spread over the mare, seemingly striking at every old injury in her body. She could only squeak out a response. “Y-You do not…”
Her voice was so quiet that it barely rose above a whisper, nowhere near the level needed to reach Blueblood’s ears. Given the stallion’s disposition, however, he would have almost certainly ignored her cries even if she was screaming directly into his ear. “And if need be, I shall see to this myself. Nothing will stand in the way of my cousin and her reputation.”
With one last huff of noble defiance, Prince Blueblood opened the door just in time for a purple pony to slip through, levitating close to a half-dozen books simultaneously. “Good day, Princess Celestia,” he said before giving a half-bow and departing.
“G-Goodbye…”
The pony set the books down on the desk, her mouth forming into a worried frown. “Princess Celestia? Is something wrong?”
Celestia sighed and shook her head at her faithful student’s words. There was, indeed, something wrong. Everything was wrong. The colt she had loved was dead, with only a broken, ruined stallion left in his wake, just like his parents and their parents before them. Before long, he’d be keeping his own foals away from her, lest she poison them with thoughts of kindness and decency, and thus ruin their plans to continue endless feuds for generations to come.
“No, Twilight Sparkle. Now, let’s begin. Have you finished your report on the use of Translocation and Displacement Spells during the Classical Era?”
----------
Shining Armor shook his head, his eyes narrowed in a mixture of disbelief and frustration. “So, this was right before he had goons dump lice on my cot?” He shuddered as he remembered that wonderful time where he was quarantined in the most remote building in Canterlot, doused in the foulest-smelling ointments and medicines every hour of the day, and made the absolute laughingstock of the entire Royal Guard.
Celestia nodded slowly. “Yes, I remember that. I had hoped so much to reason with him, but…”
“Then why is it working now?” asked Luna. “Why would this experience really make him any different? All it did for you was make you cry over your foalhood and break out of the castle.”
Celestia sighed and rolled her eyes. “Yes, I remember. But I also learned a lot, as well. That’s why I took this opportunity, to try and make amends for my own misdeeds as well as Blueblood’s.”
“The question isn’t whether or not he’s learning,” said Luna, “but whether it will matter at all once he’s been returned to his rightful age.”
Celestia adjusted herself in her seat, stretched her tired legs out, and finally ended with a gasp of relief. She really needed to remember to stretch before indulging in any lengthy flashbacks. “And that’s what we’re here to decide. We’ve all been witnesses to his actions, both good and bad, and thus it is our responsibility to decide how he should be handled.”
She looked around the room, her eyes burning with the utmost seriousness. “Remember, what we do here shall decide the rest of his life, however long – or short – that may be. Today, we hold Prince Blueblood’s fate in our hooves.”
A great presence seemed to suddenly wash over the room, making everypony within feel about thirty pounds heavier. Everypony’s hooves trembled as they considered the grave responsibility lay before them. For on this day, they would be finally passing judgment on a pony who had made their lives miserable, disrupted Equestria’s formal functions and government to satisfy his own whims, and turned the nobility into a joke for the tabloids. The same pony who had worked his heart out during the morning drills, despaired over his past wrongs, and now sought atonement.
At the very least, he wasn’t there to do anything stupid…
----------
Snowball grunted as the weight above him kept shifting. “Come on, Gusty! How long does it take to get a stupid ribbon?”
“I’m…trying!” Gusty gasped. Her back legs pressed against Blueblood’s back as she stood up, eliciting a grunt of pain from the colt. She reached out with her hooves, but alas, she was still far too short for this, even when standing on three ponies. “I can’t get it! We need another pony!”
The others looked about each other for a moment, their eyes judging just who should be the next pony up the long ladder to glory. Ribbon and Buttons, both of whom had once been perfectly on board with the plan, quickly shied away to avoid anything that involved climbing onto another pony. Lofty, being the orchestrator of this incredible scheme, took a step forward, her head tilting as she eyed the branch. “No…we need two more ponies.”
She turned to Smokey, who was doing his best to try and retreat from the oncoming disaster. Alas, the other two weren’t willing to die for their snack, leaving only the tiny colt to gulp down his last breath of air before climbing up the pony ladder. Both Snowball and Blueblood groaned as hooves slammed into their ribs, while Gusty simply crouched down as much as she could without tumbling off. Once the colt was on top, Lofty started to stand onto her hind legs to begin climbing...only for her brain to turn on that little idea bulb.
“You know,” she said as she returned to all fours, “if you guys all stand on your hind legs, I think we can reach the branch.”
If there had been a bit in Blueblood’s mouth, he would have spat it out right then. “W-We c-c-can’t do that!”
Buttons shrugged. “Why not? Acrobats, magicians, and superheroes do it all the time, so why can’t we?”
“B-B-Because we ar-r-r-aren’t any of those!” Blueblood snapped. The pressure on his body was so great by now that his face was turning riper than an entire garden of tomatoes.
All this earned him was a dismissive snort from Lofty. “Come on now, do you want that pudding or not? This is our chance for greatness, for glory! And I say we take it!”
Ribbon provided the facehoof, while Buttons supplied the rolled eyes. “Here we go again…”
Unaware of her friends’ reactions, Lofty raised a hoof to the heavens and stretched out her wings. If Blueblood’s sense of hearing wasn’t dulled out from the pain, he would have sworn somepony had started playing Equestria’s national anthem. “Did Super-Mare back down when aliens invaded Manehatten? No! Did Commander Hurricane simply give up when the windigos were freezing everything? No! Did Fluttershy give up when Nightmare Moon came to gobble us up? No! And we shall not quit here, either! Now, stand on your hind legs like ponies…and be proud of your…”
The speech would have no doubt continued to inspire the team had the entire ladder not already decided to do just that. Starting from the top, each pony reared themselves onto their back legs, being careful to keep them firmly planted on the front shoulders of the pony beneath them. The next one down repeated the trick, finally ending with Snowball pulling Blueblood onto his shoulders. The handful of extra inches the trick provided boosted Smokey up just enough that his hooves could touch the ribbon…
Unfortunately, Snowball’s hoof suddenly slipped out of position. He tried to right himself, but all the weight on his shoulders, coupled with standing in a position nopony was ever meant to hold for more than a few seconds, caused him to finally fall over. After that came Blueblood, screaming like a little filly. Smokey, sensing his doom approaching, hopped down from Gusty just as the pony ladder began to collapse, and thus managed hop onto Blueblood’s gut before bouncing down to Equestria. And finally came Gusty, going “Whee whee whee!” all the way down.
In the end, however, the results were the same. All four ponies came crashing to the ground, fortunately missing any rocks, tree roots, or anything else that would have only intensified their agony. The three fillies who hadn’t participated in the excursion immediately trotted over to their downed friends, their little eyes brimming with panic. “Oh my gosh, are you all right?” Ribbon gasped as she laid eyes upon a groaning Smokey.
Buttons, meanwhile, leaned herself over just enough to give Blueblood some support as he rose. “A-Are you okay?” she muttered.
The colt coughed and stretched out his aching legs, but still managed to give a small, rather unconvincing smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little…rustled that’s all.”
Snowball and Smokey slowly got back up as well, barely fighting back pained tears as they felt the small bruises on their bodies and bumps on their foreheads. Even worse, none of the teachers seemed to be paying much attention, at least not until after their morning coffee had been finished. Such were the ways of the morning recess. Gusty, however, simply popped back up, her face aglow with triumph. “That was the most awesome thing ever! We gotta do it again, guys!”
The smile vanished from Blueblood’s lips. “A-Again…?”
He turned to Lofty, hoping for some kind of support. Instead, the filly seemed completely enthralled with the idea. “That’s perfect! Alright, everypony, let’s get back there and try this again! This time, everypony’s gonna climb!”
Blueblood’s hooves shook in terror. His teeth clicked like a set of tap-dancing hooves. His coat grew even whiter in shock, stopping right around the point where he looked less like a colt and more like a forlorn ghost. His head twisted back and forth, searching for any way out of this without losing his friends. Alas, all he could find was a bush in the distance. “A-Actually…why don’t we just tie a bunch of sticks together, make a big pole, and then just, you know, pick it off…or something…”
The other foals all stared at Blueblood like he was speaking in some crazy moon language. The colt shrank back in response, his tiny internal organs already plotting to rebel in case his companions decided to do anything crazy. Buttons looked at the tree trunk, then back at the ribbon, and finally back at her friend. “You know…he might have a point. We’ll need a lot of sticks, though…”
----------
Once the plan had been decided upon, approved by the committee, and Lofty had convinced Gusty that she wasn’t strong enough to fly straight up and drop her again, the ponies had split off to find appropriate sticks. It was for that reason that Blueblood was digging through a bush in a far corner of the playground, shaving off the leaves from a particularly long piece of wood, when it happened. The colt had just barely managed to pick off all but the last few bits of greenery when he heard a familiar, soon-to-be-ex-student’s voice. “DIIIIIIIIE!”
The voice immediately slammed Blueblood’s panic sensors into overdrive. Throwing his stick aside, he jumped out of the way just as Orange Peel’s hoof slammed into the bush. It was by Celestia’s providence that the blow didn’t strike Blueblood, nor did it go wild and send his tormentor down for the count as well. In Orange Peel’s rage, either outcome was a possibility.
Blueblood’s jaw hung open, his mind barely able to comprehend just how close he had come to his face becoming one with a shrubbery. “Wh-What?!”
The orange colt turned on his hooves, his eyes narrowed with blood-curling rage. “Y-You… Do you have any idea what you’ve done?!”
Blueblood’s mouth flapped about silently, his eyes scanning for some kind of help. Unfortunately for him, this corner of the playground was so removed from the rest of the field that it would take a while for anypony else to notice he was even gone. Even worse, he could now see what else lurked in this corner. Just a few steps away sat an accursed muddy pool, the kind that most ponies foals dare not approach out of fear of their parents’ disapproval. A mere touch of the gunk against a coat like his would almost certainly depart no small number of permanent stain. With no other recourse available, he turned back to the originator of his predicament. “Wh-What do you mean?”
“Do you know where my father is sending me?” Orange Peel gasped. “He’s throwing me into a boarding school!”
Blueblood’s eyes widened. While he had been a participant of the same system, he had almost never heard of anypony being sent to one of the Academies at such an early age. To do so was seen as an almost criminal offense to the foal, not to mention a sign that you couldn’t control your own children and thus giving one’s rivals something to work with. “B-But you’re in kindergarten! Why would he…”
“Because he doesn’t want me!” Orange Peel’s coat turned a bright red, almost matching the hue of his nerve-shot eyes. “All he cares about is your stupid dad and you! And now that everything’s all happy, why does he need his stupid little colt around?”
The prince took a step back, sweat pooling from his very brow. He was quickly running out of options; with Orange Peel bearing down on him, it was unlikely he would be able to dodge any further attacks without ruining his appearance. Even worse, his stick was still right next to his enemy’s hooves, as much good as that would do him against a crazed colt out for his blood. “L-Look, Orange Peel, we don’t have to do this! I’ll talk with your dad, and-”
All this accomplished was eliciting a howl of frustration from his opponent. “All everypony ever wants to do is talk! I’m done with talking! I’m going to end this once and for all.”
“And just what is going on here?”
Blueblood’s eyes looked up just enough to catch several of the teachers, now freshly invigorated and ready to actually pay attention for once, approach the scene of the upcoming massacre. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his friends trying to break through, but alas, the teachers were holding them back, no doubt out of some vain attempt to limit the bloodshed. Miss Brightly was the only one to take the lead, her eyes locked onto Orange. “What is the meaning of this? Do I have to send you to the principal’s office, young colt?”
Her words seemed to bring with them a small lull in the battlefield, as Orange Peel’s eyes began to flicker just slightly. Blueblood allowed himself a moment to breathe; after all, there was no way…
And then Orange Peel charged forward, grabbed the stick between his teeth, and barreled straight towards Blueblood.
In an instant, time seemed to slow down around Blueblood, allowing him the chance to assess his situation. Miss Brightly’s horn lit up, but the colt knew it was hopeless; by the time she had her aura around Orange Peel, he would already be atop him. If he ran back, he would be in the mud puddle, and Orange Peel would have the humiliation he sought. He could fight back, but the bully was so full of blind rage that it’d be like trying to wrestle down a…
And then he saw the stick, and with it, his opening.
With what little time he had left, Blueblood knelt down, his eyes locked on the wooden instrument. Orange Peel simply barreled on through, heedless to his opponent’s cowering demeanor. Just as he was within striking range, however, Blueblood made his move. With a quick jerk, he spun about on his front hooves and delivered a one-legged buck to the base of the stick, just above where Peel’s lip was. The sudden impact, coupled with just how loosely the colt’s grip of the weapon was to begin with, caused the makeshift club to slip from his grasp and land impotently on the grass.
His opponent had barely enough time to recognize what had happened before his hooves touched the slickened edges of the puddle. In his youth, he was still inexperienced with galloping so hard; the moment one of his hooves touched the muddy ground, the slick surface caused one of his forelegs to kick out from under him, sending the rest of the bully face-first into the slop. Blueblood, meanwhile, quickly seized his chance and made a getaway, jumping back a few leg’s lengths in case things heated up again.
Groaning in agony, Orange Peel slowly pulled himself out of the mud. His once-pristine coat was now drenched in brown and black sludge that slowly dripped off the ends of his fur like morning dew. The torrential outpouring of laughter from the other foals did little to dampen his temper, nor did they persuade him from trying to charge again. Once again, however, his hoof got caught in the munk, and he found himself kissing dirt.
Blueblood simply stood still, unable to believe that it had ended this quickly. The teachers slowly approached, mindful not to set the downed combatant off again. Blueblood’s friends gave each other high-hooves, as once again they had witnessed justice prevail. Even Snowball and Smokey seemed utterly happy that it was over.
Orange Peel’s head slowly lifted from its earthy confines. His eyes laid witness to the various ponies surrounding him. His ears detected the mocking laughter echoing from each and every foal, and he could swear even a few of the adults were extolling in his departure. He saw and heard his former friends, his old adversaries, and worst of all, his arch-nemesis, who had nary a scratch on him and was not so much as sweating.
For just a brief moment, the old anger tried to flare up again, to roast him from the inside and give him the strength for one last attack. But then the fire in his eyes dimmed. His muscles became lax as he began to sob. There was no more denying it. He was beaten.
Miss Brightly looked the colt over, tsked, and finally leaned down to his level. “Orange Peel, I’m sorry your time at our school has to end like this, but I’m afraid we can no longer tolerate such behavior. We’ll have your father…”
“Y-You hate me.”
The sudden accusation caused the teacher to take a step back in shock. Orange Peel slowly climbed back to his hooves, his legs still sliding about in the slick mud. His eyes stayed locked on the ground as he tried to step out of the mucky-muck. “O-Of course I don’t hate you. You’re challenging sometimes, but how could anypony hate…”
The colt’s voice seemed to crack and pop as more clear liquid fought its way from the mud and onto the grass. “I-It’s not fair...”
Before another word could be said, the colt let out a massive scream and began pounding away at the muddy ground in a furious tantrum. Nopony dared approach the enraged foal, nor do anything to stop his rampage; not even the adults had ever encountered something this drastically horrible before. “It’s not fair! It’s not fair! WHY CAN’T I EVER WIN?! WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?!”
The colt’s shrill screams were loud enough to break a pony’s very thoughts. One of the custodians and a few of the teachers, including Miss Brightly, tried to approach, but their every attempt was met with the furious flailing of limbs and the wailing and grinding of teeth. Realizing his life was probably no longer in any serious danger, Blueblood retreated back to the others, who were now all busy huddling together and praying to Celestia for a swift end to this break in their recess.
Finally, the class bell rang, its shrill rattling breaking up the tension in the yard and seemingly shocking Orange Peel enough to finally calm him down just a little. Slowly, the teachers walked over to the sobbing foal, with Miss Brightly still taking point. This time, however, he offered no resistance outside of a few half-hearted lunges, all of which they were able to shrug off with ease. Finally, the colt was lifted onto the back of one of the custodians, who then trotted off in the direction of the school’s main office.
Within moments, order began to return to the schoolyard. Teachers herded their students into groups and marched them back to the classrooms, while the next batch of students scheduled for recess slowly emerged from their own chambers. Miss Brightly’s class was no exception; Blueblood, Ribbon and Snowball bade farewell to their friends and got into the line, their legs marching in unison from the lingering shock of the event. Already, students were whispering to each other in relief at Orange Peel’s departure; after all, it was one less bully in the world.
When Blueblood was just about to pass the threshold, however, he was stopped and gently pulled aside by Miss Brightly’s hoof. Ribbon briefly stopped as well, but was quickly pushed along by the momentum of the line until she was firmly back in the classroom.
“Leon, I know it was Orange Peel who started the fight, but I have to take you to the principal’s office, too.”
Blueblood cocked his head. “Why?”
Miss Brightly bit against the corner of her lip and rolled her eyes away. This was not the subject one enjoyed discussing to a foal. “It’s the school rules. When you’re in a fight, you have to go with everypony else that was involved. That way, we know everything that happened, and will be able to keep things like it from ever happening again. Do you understand?”
Now it was Blueblood’s turn to roll his eyes. “I guess so. Do I have to tell my mom tonight?”
Miss brightly was silent for a moment, although that little overbite thing she did with her mouth did not exactly hide her attempts to sugar coat the truth. “Actually…”
----------
Luna slowly nodded her head. “Then we are in agreement?” The other followed suit, Shining Armor looking like he was just a few hours from death and Celestia appearing absolutely crestfallen. The Night Mare let loose a sigh of relief before climbing back to her hooves. “Then so be it. When Blueblood returns, we shall…”
The rapping of a hoof against wood alerted the three to the nearby door. “P-Princess Celestia, may I speak with you?” said a voice from the other end.
Within seconds, Celestia was back on her hooves, looking like absolutely nothing was wrong. Her magic reached out and pushed the door open even as her lips flipped into the most sincere smile she could manage at this juncture. Standing at the other end was one of the castle’s servants, shivering slightly as she remained chin-to-the-ground. “How can I help you?”
Sensing her monarch’s approval, the servant very slowly rose back up. “W-We just received a notice from the Canterlot Castle Preschool. They said that they needed to see Sky Bloom at once!”
Luna and Shining Armor quickly trotted up alongside Celestia, their eyes wide with worry. Celestia titled her head slightly, her smile fading as she did so. “May I ask what happened?”
“I…I don’t know exactly,” the servant stammered. “But they said it had something to do with fighting.”
The eyes of all three ponies practically exploded in a mixture of shock, horror, and aggravation at yet another stupid Blueblood stunt. Celestia herself couldn’t fight back her brain’s request for a massive groan. “Very well. I’ll find Sky Bloom and…”
Before she could finish that thought, however, one of her Pegasus guards glided up the hall, skidding to a halt just in front of the chamber door. He simply stood there, panting and gasping for air beneath his armor, before finally falling to the ground in a penitent bow. “Princesses, Baron Frazzleberry is gone!”
Luna and Shining Armor both pushed past Celestia, their eyes never wandering from the terrified soldier. “What is the meaning of this, Private?” the Captain asked in a stern, demanding tone. “I thought I ordered you to keep an eye on him at all times!”
“W-We did!” the guard stammered. “B-But then he got this message about his son and some fight and…”
Deep within the dark confines of Luna’s mind, the gears began to turn. The two statements, once separate, began to twist and intertwine with each other until only one possibility could be reached. “It seems the Blueblood-Frazzleberry feud is not quite as dead as Cadance had suggested.”
Shining Armor, however, was far too busy with his other orders of business to care about such things. He looked over the trembling guard like a culinary chef whose kitchen had just been destroyed by one apprentice mishoofling a blender. “I take it somepony is at least tailing him?”
“Y-Yes, sir,” said the guard. “We’ve already traced his possible route, and it all leads to the Canterlot Castle Magic Preschool.”
Celestia’s only response to this madness was a resigned, defeated sigh, which was about as much as she could do without completely breaching any rules of protocol. “Very well, then. I have to return to my duties, in any case.” She turned to the servant. “I will send Sky Bloom to the school at once.” And then to the guard. “Link back up with the units following Frazzleberry. Place guards at every entrance to the school. Once he’s out of there, approach and arrest him, but try to avoid an actual fight, especially in front of the foals.”
The two quickly nodded in acknowledgement, the guard adding a quick salute to the routine, and then departed to perform their duties. Once they were gone, the Sun Princess turned her attention to her younger sister and nephew-to-be. “Once she’s gone, I will be retiring to my chambers until we hold court. I ask that you do not disturb me until then. I have a…lot to think about.”
Before anypony else could say anything, Celestia’s horn lit up with the intensity of a small star. A golden aura enveloped her entire body, and within seconds, she had disappeared from sight. Luna and Shining Armor made no move to leave the spot, instead opting to stare at the spot the Alicorn had been uprooted from only moments before. Finally, after a few more uncomfortable seconds of blank looking ahead, Shining Armor voiced something he knew he would probably regret.
“H-Have you ever seen this Sky Bloom?”
----------
The wait outside the principal’s office was quite possibly the most agonizing torture Blueblood had ever experienced. Not that he ever had a taste for such a vulgar act, of course, but he had read his books and knew some of the mechanics involved. Still, something like the rack had nothing on the level of pain simply waiting for the axe to drop could bring. Orange Peel, for his part, didn’t look much better. He just sighed every now and then, his eyes still red and dried from crying.
Finally, Blueblood could remain quiet no longer. “So…your father is sending you to a boarding school?”
The colt scoffed and looked away. “I bet you’re happy. I won’t be here anymore, and you won’t have to deal with anypony else like me ever again.” He sighed and leaned back in his seat. “It’s not like anypony will miss me.”
Blueblood looked away shyly. “Actually, I talked to the fillies a couple days ago. I…saw the fight you had with Snowball and Smokey. They told me what you did to them when they tried to be friends with you.”
Orange Peel chuckled. “Yeah…that was stupid. And so were they.”
“But what was that stuff about Snowball and Smokey, anyway? The way they were acting, you’d think you were the most marvelous pony to have ever graced Equestria.”
The fallen bully’s eyes scanned Blueblood for a moment, as if unsure whether or not he was a robot or just a nerd who liked big words, but finally settled on the latter. “Well, it doesn’t matter. They said they didn’t want to be friends anymore, so that’s that. And like my dad always said, ‘Anypony who isn’t your friend is your enemy.’” His shrugged. “He used some hard words there, but that’s what he said he said.”
Blueblood raised an eyebrow. A part of him simply wanted to dispose of the disguise right then and there, if only to tell Orange Peel what kind of a pony his father was, but common sense – and his desire not to end up on yet another tabloid – won out. “Your dad wasn’t like that last night. He actually said he was sorry for fighting with my dad all the time.”
Orange Peel’s eyes narrowed as Blueblood spoke. “Of course he did. A while ago, he was going to finally bring down your family and those jerks, the Huffys! I wanted to go, but he said it was past my bedtime and for big ponies only. And when I asked him about it at breakfast, he just...stopped being my dad.”
His voice dropped. “They said he got Princess Luna mad at him, and that’s why he was acting so weird. He started…giving money away, and told me to stop beating up the other ponies. He wouldn’t even let me get those traitors into stuff anymore. He said I was abusing my rank, whatever that means.” He sniffed. “It doesn’t matter. They all hate me just like dad does.”
The tension in the room simply continued to grow more and more stifling, as if the ponies behind the front desk were controlling the tension with a switch. Blueblood slowly shifted about in his seat, his own muscles growing tighter with every passing moment. Orange Peel was silent again, no doubt lost in thought over his upcoming deportation from Canterlot. All the prince had to do was keep quiet a few moments longer, and it would all be over.
“So, do you want to go to boarding school?”
Orange Peel looked at Blueblood as if he had just asked if the sun was hot. “Of course I don’t! I want to stay here with my dad! But nopony wants me…”
“That’s because you’re a jerk to everypony.” Blueblood sighed. “All that stuff the fillies said you did…”
The orange colt’s lips curled into each other slightly. “I just wanted one feather.”
Blueblood raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“One feather,” the colt groaned. “I didn’t care who they were. I even told stupid Gusty I didn’t want to be friends with a filly. But we were playing Buffalos and Settlers and…Smokey had lost the feather in his headband, so we needed another…and that stupid Pegasus had tons of them! She wouldn’t have missed one!”
Now it was Blueblood’s turn to, once again, raise an eye at this. “You mean…you pulled out one of Lofty’s feathers so you could play…whatever?”
The colt nodded. “And then Gusty came running over and…and beat all three of us up, right in front of the rest of the school.” He choked, gagged, and choked again. “After that, everypony thought we were wimps. So we jumped her after school, but then that crazy Unicorn you hang out with came along and called the teachers. And then…”
“So…that’s how it all got started?” Blueblood muttered. “B-But what about me?”
“I just thought you were an egghead at first,” the colt growled. He obviously did not like having his psyche picked apart by a pony his age. “But when I told dad what you looked like, I thought I could make him happy. He couldn’t beat up Lord Huffy because of Princess Luna, but I could take care of you. And once you were gone, everything would be all right again.”
Blueblood said nothing else, instead opting to keep his mouth shut and let things try to simmer down. Orange Peel seemed to entertain the same sentiment, shuffling about in his seat in a vain attempt to make himself comfortable. Before long, the only noises either pony could hear were the loud ticking of a nearby clock and the rustling of papers by the office staff. Sadly for Blueblood, this did little to distract him from those old, broken memories of his…
----------
Blueblood adjusted his bow tie, straightened his jacket, and finally knocked on the door to Princess Cadance’s bedchambers. There was the chance that he was more than a little overdressed for what amounted to a simple visit, but then again this was his cousin he was talking about, and he would not dare to appear slovenly before somepony of her rank. Besides, the jacket was perfect for hiding that ketchup stain. It would be the last time he let his chefs persuade him to try those cubed potato strips.
There was a rustling from the other side, followed by the sound of hooves clopping against the wooden floor that gradually grew louder. Finally, the door opened, revealing the yawning, groggy, makeup-free face of his cousin. She yawned and smacked her chops, her eyes slowly drifting downward as she spoke. “Wh-What is it?”
Blueblood raised an eyebrow at his cousin’s appearance. “Princess Cadenza, it’s almost noon. Why are you still asleep?”
The princess stifled another yawn. “Sorry. Aunt Celestia was so busy with the peace talks that she asked me to take care of the night last night.”
The prince reared back a step in surprise. “Y-You mean you raised the moon? Did you become as powerful as Princess Celestia while I was away?”
It took a few moments for the words to break through the wall of fatigue surrounding Cadance’s brain, but when they did, she couldn’t help but force her mouth into a smile. “No, nothing like that. I just made sure nothing blew up Canterlot, met with some advisors, things like that.” She yawned. “Do you know what happens at night? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
“Well, I suppose you had plenty of time to get acquainted with the ‘Mare in the Moon?’”
It didn’t take long for Blueblood to remember his lack of a sense of humor, as well as why that particular topic wasn’t what he should have opened up with. Tiny beads of sweat began to pour down the sides of Cadance’s face as she shivered nervously, both from the cold and from deep-seated memories of Lemon Lime’s prank many Nightmare Nights ago. It was more than enough to turn her off to the holiday entirely, not to mention the legendary Mare in the Moon. And for whatever reason, Princess Celestia actually seemed more than a little saddened by that.
Still, the damage was done. “I…I apologize. I had forgotten that…”
In a flash, Cadance’s demeanor snapped back to her former self. “I-It’s nothing, really. W-Would you like to come in?”
Blueblood stared ahead blankly for a few moments, then nodded and stepped inside. Cadance’s room was almost completely unchanged from their youth; understandable, considering the sheer amount of legal red tape Celestia herself had to jump through just to move a coffee table. A silver serving tray had already been set on a wooden table, no doubt by some kindly servant too afraid to risk their job by awakening one of Celestia’s favorite family members. Even better for Cadance was the big, steaming pitcher of coffee, kept warm via an enchantment from the sun’s physical representation herself.
Cadance fought back another yawn before taking a few groggy steps towards the breakfast display and pouring herself a cup. “Would you like some, Blueblood?”
The stallion shook his head. “No thanks. I’m amazed you’re touching the stuff. I had always thought tea was the proper choice for ponies of our standing.”
“Yes, well, sometimes you just need raw caffeine,” Cadance grumbled in the most undignified way possible. Levitating up her cup, she took a few sips. The hot liquid, coupled with the steam emerging from the dishware holding it, snapped the princess’ senses open in a hurry. “So, what can I help you with?”
Sensing his opening, Blueblood readjusted his tie, cleared his throat, and struck a pose. “In truth, Princess Cadance, it is what I can help you with.” The stallion took a few steps forward, his chest puffed out like a peacock out to roost. Cadance barely managed to suppress a belly laugh at the spectacle. “I understand that you are interested in…finding a companion, as it were?”
Cadance’s face went into shock for just a moment, only to quickly slide down into a fox-like grin. “Really? Blueblood, don’t tell me you’re going into the matchmaking business?”
The stallion whinnied in horror at the mere suggestion. “P-Perish the thought, cousin! I was merely wishing to inquire about…what kind of stallion you prefer to date.”
The Princess’ hoof tapped against the dresser top as her eyes rolled back in deep thought. “Hmm…Well, I like my stallions to be…well, strong and sensitive, as cliché as that sounds. They need to be able to think, to hold their own in a conversation.” She smiled. “And they need to be named after gleaming suits of protective clothing.”
With a quick toss of her mane, Cadance spun around to face her cousin. Strangely enough, he was still smiling – always a good sign given what they were talking about. “So, why do you want to know?”
“Well, I suppose you are not a little filly anymore. No doubt you’ve turned to thinking about ponies you would like to be…involved with.” He cleared his throat. “Given what you’ve said, there are plenty of stallions within the court who would more than…”
Before he could utter another word, Cadance’s hoof came down on his lips. “But I’ve already found somepony. You know Aunt Celestia’s Captain of the Guard, Shining Armor?”
A tiny wave of nausea threatened to leak up from Blueblood’s stomach at the mere mention of the name. It was a credit to his lingering sense of self-control that his face didn’t reflect the twisting of his heart; instead, he opted to just pull back a step. “I am aware of him, yes. And that’s what I needed to speak to you about. Have you ever considered where this relationship will lead?”
Shaking her head, Cadance walked past Blueblood and undid her robe before hanging it back in her wardrobe. “Of course we’ve discussed things. Becoming the Captain of the Royal Guard was a lifelong dream of his, and he knows how important my own work as one of Equestria’s Princesses is to me. We already know each other’s likes and dislikes, our favorite colors, how many foals we’d love to have…”
“F-FOALS?!”
Cadance’s head snapped about in shock. Blueblood’s eyes had inflated to twice their normal size, while his jaw simply hung slack like its bolts had been pulled loose. The mare cocked her head to her left. “Um…Blueblood? Is something wrong?”
“Y-You wish to…have foals with him?” he gasped.
“Um…yes,” Cadance said slowly. “But not right now. We both agreed to abstain until after we’re married.”
“M-MARRIED?!” Blueblood’s brain struggled valiantly to make some kind of logical sense of this situation, but nothing worked. Everything he had ever been taught was being stomped on by the one pony he had thought would understand. He slowly stumbled forward, his limbs bending awkwardly like a zombie, until he was directly in front of Cadance. “H-Has he proposed to you?”
Cadance reared back in fear, but still managed to crack a small smile. “Well…not yet. We’ve only been out a couple of times, but…”
As if by magic, her words seemed to calm Blueblood’s nerves in a flash. His smile returned, with only the slightest glint in his eyes to give away the madness welling within. “Good… Then there’s still time. I can still save you, Cadance!”
“S-Save me?” The mare took a few frightened steps back, doing her best not to make any more eye contact with her scary cousin. “Wh-What are you…?”
In his delirium, however, Blueblood had obviously failed to notice just what was going on with Cadance, and before she could muster something to make him stay and explain himself, he was well out of the door and down the hallway. After all, he had a Captain of the Guard to discredit, and there were only so many places he could procure lice…
----------
“Leon? Leon?”
Blueblood gave his head a vigorous shake, breaking himself free of his foalish past and back to his foalish present. Orange Peel was already standing up, while the principal – the pony who had broken Blueblood from his meditation – was standing overhead with a stern look on his face. “We’re ready for you. Please, come inside.”
A loud gulp emitted from Blueblood’s throat, followed by him dropping down to ground level. The principal simply trotted back to his designated spot in this chamber of horrors, no doubt to apply the mask and ready the axe. The two colts looked at each other in one last exchange of solidarity before walking into the room themselves, neither pony exactly hurrying as they approached their deaths.
It was only the second time he had entered the principal’s office, and already Blueblood could feel his nerves twist on end. The old pony was still sequestered behind his desk, his face twisted in a disappointed frown, but that wasn’t the real source of danger. Rather, it was the very upset Baron Frazzleberry and Sky Bloom, both of whom were sitting at different sides of the principal’s desk. A pair of smaller chairs had been set up between them, no doubt for each pony’s respective spawn. “Colts, please have a seat. There is a lot to talk about.”
The two little ponies looked at each other briefly, gulped, and then did as they were instructed. Both parents looked upon their progeny – one real, one fake – with a look of frustration. The principal cleared his throat and clapped his hooves together in a stock gesture of dominance over his pupils. “I have already spoken to Miss Brightly and the other faculty, and their stories are all the same. Orange Peel, they say that you threw the first buck. Is that true?”
Orange Peel nodded. “Yes, sir.”
He turned to Blueblood. “And you ended the fight by throwing him into a mud puddle, correct?”
Blueblood gulped and nodded. “Well, it was more like I kicked the stick out of his mouth and he ran into the mud himself, but…yes, I did hit back…”
The room fell silent yet again, save for the clock ticking on the wall. The adults simply sat there, allowing the weight of the situation to weigh down on their soon-to-be-grounded little colts. Orange Peel squirmed about in his seat as the tension thickened, his eyes starting to water slightly as all wetness drained from his mouth. Blueblood could feel his heart skip a beat or two, but otherwise managed to just barely keep the fear from making its way outside.
The principal sighed and leaned back in his seat. “Colts, as I’ve told both of you in the past, fighting is something we cannot allow at this school. Now Orange Peel, I know that this is your last day with us, but is this really how you wished to end your time here?”
Orange Peel slowly shook his head. “No…”
Baron Frazzleberry sighed and lowered his head, his eyes turned away from his son. “I apologize for my son’s actions. I have no idea what has gotten into him, but I regret ever having sent him here.”
Sky Bloom slowly turned towards him. “What do you mean, sent him here?”
“His mother suggested that he spend more time among the lower classes of ponies.” Frazzleberry wiped a bit of sweat from his brow. “I had wanted to send him to the same boarding school my forefathers and I had attended, but she…made a persuasive point.”
Blueblood nodded from his chair, his little grey cells putting the facts together. Having a noble in any public school wasn’t entirely unheard of, but the practice was still frowned upon. Sky Bloom, however, appeared to fail to notice any of this. “And just where is your wife?”
Orange Peel’s eyes suddenly widened, while a small whiff of dryness unclogged itself from the back of his throat. Frazzleberry nervously twisted his forehooves together. “S-She’s gone to the frontier. She said it had something to do with…a…project she was working on, and that she wouldn’t be back until she was done.”
Every single pony in the room looked about each other in disbelief of the tale. Orange Peel tried to shy his eyes away, his body hunched over like a twisted lawn ornament. Sensing the growing apprehension in the air, Blueblood quickly relied on the tried-and-true foalhood tactic for such things: change the subject. “But still, I know that fighting is wrong. I shouldn’t have…”
“You fought to defend yourself,” said Sky Bloom. “You didn’t go and pick a fight, you know.”
Frazzleberry raised his eyes from his son, his retinas locked onto the mare across the room. “Excuse me, but are you saying my son should be solely responsible for what happened?”
“Well, my son isn’t a bully, like yours!”
Blueblood chuckled nervously and began to scoot his chair away. “Um…‘mom?’ I…I don’t think that…”
Despite the rising temperature, Frazzleberry’s voice and demeanor remained as chilled as ever. “I tried to be reasonable last night…”
Sky Bloom, on the other hoof, seemed more than willing to go along with the atmosphere. “By having him foalnapped? Really, Baron, you have a very different idea of what’s ‘reasonable’ or not…”
“Um…dad?” Orange Peel muttered. “I…I don’t think she…”
“Listen here, peasant,” Frazzleberry said, his voice hissing like a cornered cat about to strike. “Just because you happened to birth my old rival’s heir does not give you the right to address me in such a way!”
The mare gasped in shock. “By Celestia, I thought we were all over that silly feud! Wasn’t that why you seized my son and had him dragged to your house last night? Or were the Royal Guards simply misinformed about that when they told me you…”
With a thunderous yell, Frazzleberry leaped to his hooves, looking less like a pony than a whirlwind of rage. “I made a mistake in judgment, little more. But you could learn to mind your manners, or need I remind you just how your son came into the world!”
Orange Peel gasped. “Dad!”
Sky Bloom plopped her forehooves down and bucked her own chair aside with one kick. “And maybe I should tell your son that his father is a wanted criminal! They’re already waiting outside the school to arrest you, as if you didn’t notice!”
Blueblood groaned. “Mom!”
“ENOUGH!”
The bickering and fussing ceased at the thundering crash of a pair of aged hooves against a desk. The two grown adults very slowly slid their chairs back into position and sat down, their very wills wilting away beneath the vengeful glare of the school’s principal. “In all my years at this school, I have never seen who I assume are supposed to be mature adults behave in such a manner! Who started the fight and who responded is not what is being discussed here! What is important is that they attacked each other anyway, despite both having already been warned not to do so!”
Sky Bloom’s face turned as red as a firecracker. “I…understand. And I will handle the situation in my own way.”
“As have I,” said Frazzleberry. “Hopefully the Academy will be enough to straighten him out and make somepony respectable out of him.”
The mere mention of that enigmatic boarding school was enough to cause Orange Peel to visibly shiver. He leaned his head in closer to his father, but the elder made no effort to show even any acknowledgment that his son was touching him. Blueblood simply watched the spectacle from his remote vantage point, his mind still trying to figure out just what he was supposed to do here. Sky Bloom was obviously no help; she probably had no idea what a boarding school was. The principal was similarly at a loss, although he most likely didn’t care as long as he got rid of a troublemaker.
That left only one pony who could do anything: Blueblood. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut. Besides, the Academy wasn’t that dreadful. The instructors were some of the best in Equestria; only Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns could come close to matching that level of quality. And the mere presence of a military guard on standby would be more than enough to break down any delinquent colt, even before he begins his traditional training. He’ll emerge a strong, confident stallion like his father and…
Something snapped into place. Like his father…
“Um…excuse me, Lord Frazzleberry?” he muttered. “I was wondering about something.”
Frazzleberry didn’t rise from his chair, instead only acknowledging the colt with a short nod. “Yes?”
Blueblood slowly slid out of his chair; he didn’t know if he could make the proper impression sitting on his haunches. “You see…didn’t you go to the Academy?”
Frazzleberry scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Of course I did, dear colt. It’s tradition, after all. I had just hoped I would have more time before Orange Peel had to attend.”
“But last night, you said you were trying to change, to be a better pony, right?”
Both Frazzleberry and Sky Bloom raised an eyebrow at this – the former out of bewilderment, and the latter out of bemused curiosity. “Yes, what of it?”
Blueblood’s hooves tapped nervously against the floor. He knew he was entering dangerous waters with the next few statements, but he had to speak up. He had to take the risk of being discovered. “Well…from what Princess Celestia tells me, my dad used to be a real nice pony until he went to the Academy. After that, he was all about tradition this and protocol that.”
Orange Peel slowly pulled himself away from his father, his eyes never leaving sight with his father’s. The Baron made no attempt to answer at first, simply choosing to follow suit with his son and exchange silent words. “I…I can see your point, but my son…”
“Orange Peel doesn’t want to go to some boarding school,” said Blueblood. “And even if you send him anyway, what good would it do? You’d just be making another noble to keep all the old systems alive. What he needs is a father to try and teach him how to behave, not to be shipped off to some school.”
The orange colt turned his attention to Blueblood, his little mouth curled up in shock. His father, however, remained as imposing as ever. “But I...he needs a proper education.”
“Perhaps, but that’s not what he needs right now.” Blueblood sighed and walked over to his bully. “What he needs is somepony to look up to and admire. He needs friends to help him from making the same mistakes. He needs to learn how to be a good pony first. Sure, I love learning about the alphabet, and I really want to be able to get through a whole book by myself, but school is about more than being smart. It’s about teaching ponies how to play with others without hurting their feelings, and that has to start at home.”
Nopony could draw up the strength to speak. Sky Bloom and Blueblood shuddered nervously at the silence, the latter more than a little afraid that he had overplayed his cards and would be found out. The principal was simply at a loss, his mind trying desperately to trace out where this parent-teacher conference had taken such a dramatic shift. Orange Peel didn’t want to get into any deeper trouble, and thus remained silent. Frazzleberry, meanwhile, just stared at the two colts, his brow wrinkling with deep thought.
Finally, after nearly two minutes of awkward silence, he spoke. “You know…for a foal, you’re pretty well-spoken. Must take after your father that way.” His eyes shifted over to his son. “As for you…we need to talk some things over in private. Is that okay?”
Orange Peel felt cold hesitation wash over him immediately, his mind already drawing up potential scenarios for what could go wrong. All that changed, however, when he saw the actual expression on his father’s face. There was no sign of malice or judgment, only a warm, friendly smile. “I…I…Sure, dad. Whatever you say.”
The principal sighed and rose to his hooves. “Well, I suppose our work is done here. If you two wish, I can leave you alone for a few minutes.” He turned to the other two. “Leon, you can return to class. Miss Bloom, thank you for coming. I do hope our next meeting will be far more positive.”
Blueblood quickly trotted out of the room, eager to give Orange Peel the space he needed to plead his case. The principal and Sky Bloom followed behind him, the former closing the door once the latter was out of position. Blueblood gave the two a last wave before heading back to his lessons, while the principal trotted away to handle some more unfortunate notices to the parents.
Once both groups were well out of visual range, Sky Bloom allowed herself a chance to smile. Well, this changes things quite a bit…
----------
By the time Blueblood had gotten back, lunchtime was already over. Fortunately, Miss Brightly allowed him to finish off his parsley-and-sage sandwich while listening to her rousing banjo recital of the major cities of Equestria. The rest of the school day proceeded in much the same way, with the usual magic training, storybooks, and educational games. By the time the bell for the third recess had rung, the colt was more than ready to go outside and enjoy some sunlight. However, this would soon prove to be the wrong day to wish for such things…
----------
Ribbon leaned against the tree, her eyes focusing on a colony of ants marching nearby. “So, he’s really gone now?”
Blueblood shrugged. “I guess. It doesn’t matter if he goes to the boarding school or not. There’s no way they’d let him stay here.”
The group remained silent for a few moments more. Around them, the air felt lighter than ever before, as if a great evil had been purged from the land. The pony that had made their lives miserable the last few weeks was no longer any threat to them, and for the rest of the school year, they could enjoy an Orange Peel-free environment. And yet, Buttons shuddered as unwelcomed thoughts crossed her mind. “You know…I felt sorry for him.”
Gusty looked up, quickly swallowing the grass she had been grazing on. “What do you mean, ‘sorry?’ This is Orange Peel we’re talking about, remember?”
The filly shook her head. “I know that, but…it’s just sad, that’s all.”
“I know what you mean,” said Snowball. “He used to be such a cool pony, too. A year ago, back when mom couldn’t get me into swimming lessons, his dad made them take me for free.”
Ribbon’s eyes puffed up in shock. “R-Really? That doesn’t sound like Orange Peel at all. That sounds…actually nice.”
Lofty scoffed, her eyes still locked on the sky artists chiseling clouds into shapes overhead. “It doesn’t matter how nice he used to be. He was still a big jerk and I’m glad he’s gone.” She rolled over a few times, the cool grass feeling like pure joy on her skin. “Still, it’ll be different with him gone.”
“Really?”
Everypony’s eyes popped wide open at the voice. Standing on the other side of the playground fence was Orange Peel, a tiny smile on his face. Behind him was his father, chatting rather heatedly with a member of the Royal Guard. Blueblood’s eyes widened as he saw the spectacle, but none of the other foals seemed to notice or recognize what was going on.
Lofty opened her mouth to deliver some kind of witty assault, but was quickly cut off by Gusty. “What are you doing here?”
“My dad’s taking me home,” said Orange Peel. “He said I’m gonna be homeschooled for a while.” He sighed. “If I’m good, I can go back to school for First Grade. I just…wanted to say goodbye.”
“And what makes you think…?”
Blueblood stomped his hoof down, drawing Gusty’s attention away from Orange Peel and towards him. Her gaze broken, he was finally allowed the chance to speak. “I’m glad you got things worked out with your dad…I guess.”
Orange Peel shrugged. “I know. But he said from now on, we’re gonna spend a lot more time together. And hey, this could be fun. I mean, I didn’t have anything else here anymore.” Snowball and Smokey quickly shied away, feeling more than a little depressed over the whole mess of a situation. “S-Still, if you guys ever want to…you know, hang out…”
Before he could say anything else, Frazzleberry walked away from the guard and took a seat next to Orange Peel, giving him a small nuzzle. “Come on, Orange. Princess Celestia’s sent us as escort home.”
The colt’s eyes widened with jubilance at the mere idea of the Princess bestowing anything upon him. “You mean it? Why would she do that?”
Frazzleberry coughed and looked about nervously. “Well…I have to speak to her about something this afternoon. You know, just some important royal stuff.” He gave him another nuzzle. “I just…want you to understand that everything will be all right. It’s going to be so much better from now on, you’ll see.”
From behind, the guard shouted, “Excuse me, My Lord? We really must be going.”
Frazzleberry climbed to his hooves, blinking away the last few drops of water from his eyes before walking off with the guard to a nearby carriage. Orange Peel started to trot after him, but froze after a few steps and turned back to the others. None of the foals spoke to him, with only Blueblood giving him a warm smile. “Well…so long,” he said, giving one last wave before galloping over to the carriage and jumping inside. The guard climbed into the driver’s seat and signaled the pullers to start moving, and within less than a minute, the carriage was gone.
Lofty’s brow remained furrowed for several seconds afterwards, before finally cooling into a general disinterest. “Actually…I kind of feel sorry for him now, too. You ever think we were the closest thing to friends he had by the end?”
Buttons shrugged. “I don’t know. He did have Snowball and Smokey.”
“But he gets a ride from the Princesses?” Ribbon whined. “Why does he get that? Lofty’s the one who’s friends with one!”
The foals simply continued to discuss the situation amongst themselves for the rest of the recess. The two colts joined in as well, offering their own defenses for their former friend’s behavior. Blueblood, however, simply ignored them all in favor of watching the space where his enemy once was. He couldn’t help but smile.
Good luck, Orange Peel.
TO BE CONTINUED
Anonymous:
*Brightly
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” Fanfiction
-AND-
A Wholly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
From the moment Sky Bloom and Blueblood entered the castle foyer, the colt could tell that something was off. Even when the castle was at its busiest, there was always a certain air of excitement and exuberance about the halls, as if the mere idea of being in such a grand palace was enough to make a pony feel giddy. Blueblood could feel none of that.
The guards somehow looked colder and sterner than usual, their usual empty frowns more resembling a growling hound about to chomp into its latest meal. Only a hoofful of servants could be seen charging through the hallways, far less than one usually expected this late in the afternoon. Even worse, his ears could detect more than a few voices whispering in the distance, and while it was too far away to make their speech out clearly, it was obvious he was the center of the conversation.
As he turned to inquire about this, Sky Bloom spoke. “The Princesses wish to speak to you immediately.”
The moment the words penetrated his thick skull, Blueblood’s little blue blood vessels froze into chunks of ice. His brow darkened as a chilled sweat began to pour across his body. “Wh-What? D-Did they say why?”
Sky Bloom was silent for a moment, as if afraid to answer that particular line of inquiry. Blueblood simply stood there, his eyes never once leaving the servant. He had been a victim of that same dumbstruck expression – and indeed, delivered it more than once – and knew all he had to do was wait it out. Before long, he would...
“Your sentence has been decided upon.”
Blueblood’s jaw dropped as sudden bolts of electric fear raced across the tiny grey cells of his brain. “Wh-What? B-But I thought I…”
“Things have changed,” Sky Bloom said. In but the span of a few seconds, her entire mood seemed to alter, sliding from a pony who had but hours before threatened excruciating pain upon a noblepony to an executioner waiting to pull the switch on the guillotine. “In any case, report to Princess Celestia’s study immediately. I’ll go on ahead to let her know of your return.”
“B-But wait…!” Blueblood’s voice grew increasingly agitated and horrified as the mare trotted up the stairs and into the deep recesses of the castle’s many hallways. “Wh-What did they say? Do you know what’s going to happen? Should I dress up? Get my own rope?”
The colt finally just rolled onto his back and let out a mournful cry to the ceiling blocking his view of the heavens. “Why doesn’t anypony tell me anything?”
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Time seemed to slow as Blueblood stepped across the great expanse of Equestria’s capital residence. Even with his reduced perspective taken into account, everything around him seemed so much larger and more menacing than it had this morning. The many frescos and portraits of famous ponies – not to mention Celestia – seemed to look down on him with everything from pity to disdain. The suits of armor sent shivers down his spine with every pass, as if they would come alive at any moment and haul him back to the dungeons. The guards remained as stoic as ever, but the servants wavered between chuckling and moaning at his approach. No doubt more than a few had been wronged by him in the past, given his track record.
It’s just as well. His ears drooped. I deserve to be hated.
After over half an hour of proceeding at this slow walk, he finally reached the double doors to Celestia’s private study. He could already hear voices on the other side, no doubt the three celebrating his oncoming banishment or whatever additional punishment they had conjured up for their favorite victim. His hoof simply hovered in mid-air for almost a full minute before he could finally muster the strength to knock, and even then it amounted to little more than a few gentle raps on the wooden door.
In an instant, the sounds from the study immediately ceased, save for what sounded like pillows, or at least something else fairly light and amorphous, being dragged about on the ground. Finally, Princess Celestia’s voice emerged. “Enter.”
Despite the shaking in his body, Blueblood complied with his aunt’s wishes and pushed one side of the doors open, stopping just when he could fit his head through the gap. Sure enough, Princess Celestia was already inside, sitting behind what looked like a massive desk from the secretary pool downstairs. Seated next to her was Princess Luna, looking as dour as ever. And out of the corner of his eye, he could make out Shining Armor, still dressed in his full armor and sitting at attention like he was ready to discipline a disobedient grunt.
“Would you mind coming inside?” Luna said in a detached voice. “We have much to discuss, and I tired of talking to doors a thousand years ago.” Shining Armor’s head spun about in confusion, while Celestia looked down at the desk guiltily. Luna simply stared ahead, barely registering her Captain’s change in focus. “You would be amazed what you do when you have nopony to talk to.”
Rather than risk drawing out the tension any longer and unveiling even more tragic secrets, Blueblood finished pushing the door open, allowing it to swing closed behind him. Princess Celestia silently pointed at a simple brown pillow, directly in front of the middle of the desk. Taking the gesture as the order it was intended to be, the colt walked over to the cushion and seated himself.
Celestia looked down on Blueblood, her eyes half-closed with a mixture of concern and relief. “My nephew, we fear that this trial must draw to a close. For almost two weeks now, you have been in the body of a colt, attending school, playing with other foals, and attempting to learn from your past misdeeds.”
“Despite our misgivings, you have shown some semblance of improving yourself,” Luna added. “I was especially surprised to see you growing in such a way, given the monstrous personality you displayed during my brief time as sole ruler.” Blueblood’s ears flattened at the reminder. “However, while you have changed much, you still have much to atone for.”
“Still, just admitting you were wrong and want to make up for it is a first step,” Shining Armor said. “As someone who’s been on the receiving end of your past behavior, I don’t know if I’m ready to really forgive you for what you did to Cadance and myself, and especially for putting Twily…” He blushed as all three ponies cocked eyebrows at his sister’s nickname. “…Twilight into danger, but I don’t want to deprive you of the chance to continue.”
Blueblood’s eyes lit up just slightly. “But…what is my sentence, then?”
Princess Luna cleared her throat before continuing, doing her best to keep looking formal and imposing. “Before the incident with Frazzleberry’s son, we were ready to find you guilty. We would have had the curse broken, followed by your removal from Equestria until such a time that you could have proven yourself worthy of return.”
The colt’s light died. “I…see…” he squeaked.
“However,” said Celestia, “the attitude you displayed during that meeting showed us something we hadn’t noticed. You see, the point of the trial was not just to make you a better pony. Anypony can work to correct faults and mistakes that are theirs alone. But to offer that to others is something not everypony can do. By all accounts, Orange Peel has offered you nothing but scorn and hatred, and yet when you had the chance to leave him to his fate, you stepped in at his defense.”
Blueblood shook his head. “I just…saw so many similarities between us…I mean, how I used to be. He wasn’t a nice pony, but he didn’t deserve to go through everything I had to go through.”
Celestia smiled and winked at the colt. “Yes, I know.”
Blueblood cocked his head slightly to the left, an expression Luna and Shining Armor were quick to share. Celestia simply continued to grin wryly at everypony else, feeling more than a little smug in her scheming and manipulations. “Well…I suppose an explanation is in order,” she said as she rose to her hooves.
“An…explanation…” Shining Armor’s eyes lit up like firecrackers as his brain finally started to work out the secrets. “Wait, do you mean…?”
Celestia smiled at the Captain in that way that also told him to keep quiet and not ruin the surprise. Her horn came alive with a golden glow, her magic pulling off her royal vestments and setting them aside. Luna blushed as she bore witness to her sister’s naked glory; still, it was nowhere near as bad as Shining Armor seemingly turning into a pony-tomato hybrid at the sight of his matriarchal ruler in such a state. Before Blueblood could jump on board the embarrassment train, the magical field began to grow out from the horn’s base and swallow Celestia’s entire body, shielding it from view. Once every inch of her body had been covered, the power contracted in on itself, until finally it was about the size of the average mare.
Its role complete, the magic peeled away like an orange, revealing Sky Bloom.
Shining Armor’s jaw dropped. He had never seen anything like that before, even with Twilight. Blueblood stood up in shock, his left eye twitching slightly from the sudden revelation. “Y-You mean…all this time?”
Sky Bloom – or rather, Celestia – nodded her head. “I needed to keep an eye on you to make sure you were all right, so I did some research, found an old disguise spell, and…masqueraded as a part of my own staff. If I timed things perfectly, I could freely enter and leave the castle without anypony even noticing I was missing.”
“Then why didn’t you tell us?” Luna asked. Her voice dripped with insincerity, as if she already knew the answer before even posing the question.
“Because I wanted to make sure Blueblood wouldn’t know,” Celestia said, just before stepping up to her still-stunned nephew. “The fewer ponies that knew about this, the smaller the chance anypony would accidentally let slip what was going on.”
Celestia knelt next to Blueblood, her gentle eyes locking with his own shivering pupils. “And besides, it gave me a chance to talk to you not as some kind of jailer or warden, but as just another pony. Somepony who cared about you and wanted you to succeed, despite all the horrible things you’ve done. I could be there to offer you advice, to listen to the pain of your day, to offer you a shoulder to cry on, and all without you ever knowing. I apologize for deceiving all of you, but it was the only way that made sense to me.”
“I…I…” Blueblood’s jaw flapped about for a few seconds, creating a sound not unlike a trout floundering about on a pier. Every fiber of his being burned with the fiery aftertaste of betrayal, coupled with the tang of disgust, and finally topped with a little cherry of discontent. Of all the ponies in this room, Princess Celestia was the only one Blueblood knew he could trust; after all, she hadn’t thrown him in a dungeon or forced him to do sit-ups that would snap a normal pony’s spine. But that had all been a lie. She was still spying on him, never letting him have a moment’s rest, just waiting for him to slip up and land right back on the executioner’s block…
“I’m fine.”
The Alicorn smiled and nodded, all the while admonishing herself for perpetuating this scam in the first place. She rose back to her hooves and strode back to the table, plopping her rear down like she had just conquered an entire forest of Ursa Majors. By this point, Shining Armor had had more than enough time to compose himself once again, even if that only amounted to finally being able to close his mouth and stop looking at his ruler, employer and future in-law. Luna just remained as cool as always, if a tad bored of her sister’s tired old tricks.
“And with that lovely bit of business out of the way, it’s time to discuss the true reason we’re here,” Celestia said. She clapped her hooves against the tabletop, trying to look as impressive as possible. “With this new piece of evidence, we can safely say that you have shown yourself more than deserving of a second chance.”
Blueblood’s mood snapped around almost instantaneously. The colt’s jaw practically shattered due to the sudden shift from morose defeatism to absolute ecstasy. “Y-You mean you’re not going to banish me?”
“That’s up to you,” Shining Armor coldly added.
The Captain turned to the two Alicorns, nodding to them to continue explaining the plan. Fortunately, passing judgment just happened to be Luna’s thing the last couple weeks, so she was quick to seize the opportunity to give Blueblood his choice in poisons. “While you have shown great progress, my little pony, there is still much for you to learn. I know how difficult it is to seek atonement, especially when the world seems to be…plotting against you.” She paused briefly, took a breath, and then continued. “Therefore, we will give you a choice.”
“Your first option is to be returned to your rightful age,” said Celestia. “It is a simple matter to undo the enchantments keeping you this way, assuming the counterspell is still accurate. Once this is done, we will assist you in coordinating your community service, provide you with a modest stipend, and promote you as a changed stallion as best we can. However, you must realize that your actions have attracted no small measure of scorn, if the tabloids are to be believed, and you will no doubt be facing a very, very harsh response to those you wish to apologize to.”
Blueblood nodded along, his mind already aching over the implications of this decision. “And the other?”
“The Princesses can keep you this way,” said Shining Armor. “We can arrange a living situation and promote you as an entirely new pony. However, Prince Blueblood will, in effect, be considered caballus non-grata for the foreseeable future. You would have to completely abandon your old life.”
The colt shook his head. His entire body shivered under the weight of the options before him. “I-I see…so those are my only options?”
“What we are proposing is not absolution,” Luna said grimly. “No matter what decision you make today, know that your penance is only beginning. You have much to answer for, perhaps far more than most ponies your age, and it will be some time before we could consider you fully atoned for your deeds. There is also the matter of your estate, which we must discuss after the proceedings have been concluded.”
“But no matter what happens, you have my support,” Celestia added. “Now, what will you do?”
Blueblood stared blankly ahead, his eyes practically graying as the enormity of this decision began to weigh upon him. He was out of time, with only enough rope to hang himself with. No matter what choice he made, he would lose something important. As an adult, he would lose the friendships he had built, not to mention having to return to an identity he had come to hate. But as a foal, there was no way to make up for his misdeeds, at least not by himself.
His mind rocked back and forth, weighing and counterweighing both options. Tiny beads of sweat trickled down his coat as he struggled to intone the words that would seal his fate forever.
“I…want to stay a foal.”
And in a moment, it all came crashing down. Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow at her nephew’s decision, Luna glanced at her sister as if to make sure this was a part of her grand plan, and Shining Armor simply looked about in confusion over how he should respond to this. Blueblood’s own nerves, however, seemed to calm themselves now that he had made his decision. His breathing became less labored, the sweat ceasing to pour from his brow, and his limbs seemed less flaccid and more proud and stately than before.
Now that the awkward period had passed, Celestia spoke. “May I ask why you made your decision?”
Blueblood was quiet for a moment, desperately trying to find just the right words to convince his skeptical aunt. “Because I have a second chance. There’s nothing waiting for me if I become an adult again. I have no family left, no friends, nopony whose life I hadn’t ruined with my mere presence. Everypony just seems happier with me like this.”
Celestia opened her mouth to protest, but she could find no words to counter his claim. She tried to talk of the ponies in the court missing him, but that would be a lie. Cadance had been nothing but kind to him…but only because she thought he was Leon. She tried to speak of his family, but they were gone. His employees? All moved on to other nobles or occupations. His friends? As far as she knew, he had none. And as for herself?
“…I can see your point,” she said, her voice little more than a defeated grumble. The other two ponies at the table simply sat as still as statues, their eyes reflecting a combination of disappointment and bewilderment at Blueblood’s decision. “Before we can move on, however, there are some…points that must be addressed.”
“Points?” Blueblood titled his head about eight degrees to the right.
Celestia nodded her head. “Like the matter of your estate. While it has been in state custody since the time of your banishment, there still are a few effects that need to be looked into. I was hoping you would assist Princess Luna in finalizing the details.”
Out of the corner of her eye, the Sun Alicorn could already see the gears spinning about in Luna’s head. Her little sister eyed her with the special kind of mistrust that comes with knowing the same pony for millennia. “Of…course. I would very much appreciate the help…finding things and…doing them…in a proper manner…”
“We shall discuss the rest of your affairs later,” Celestia said just before pulling herself up. “Now, if you will please follow Princess Luna to the chariots, we shall get this matter settled. Captain Armor, I will need to see you in my office within the hour to discuss the upcoming guard rotations.” Shining jumped to his hooves and snapped a salute, his features hardening into the stone-cold exterior of a mighty warrior as he did so.
Her orders complete, the Princess returned her attentions to the pony at the center of all this. Blueblood was about as still as a cornered kitten, his fur bristling at her sight. When she smiled, however, he seemed to calm almost instantaneously. “I fear my schedule will be full the rest of the day, but I look forward to speaking to you tomorrow. By then, we’ll have everything figured out.”
And with that, she walked out the door, turned down the hall, and disappeared. Shining Armor trotted along after her, but stopped as he came alongside Blueblood. Again, the colt bristled slightly at his approach, but instead of ordering him to drop and give him fifty or whatever, the Captain of the Royal Guard merely gave a salute before leaving the scene.
Only two ponies remained in the study: Blueblood and Princess Luna. The mare let out a sigh that would make the very heavens turn cold and rose to her hooves. “Come along, then. It is time you went home.”
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Blueblood’s jaw hung open in horror as the two drew up to his estate.
The once proud ancestral home of the Blueblood family was now a decaying ruin. The wrought-iron gate barely hung to its hinges, while vines and overgrowth chipped away at the walls. The path leading up to his front door was in even worse shape, as the runaway weeds and grass has almost completely swallowed it up. Bits and pieces of the chimney barely sat straight upon decaying mortar, with a few red chunks already decorating the outside gardens. The latest layer of paint had long since begun to chip away, leaving what painted surfaces remained looking like somepony had emptied their stomach onto a dollhouse. The windows were so caked with dust and dirt that they were almost entirely opaque.
Luna shrugged as she walked past the colt. “What’s wrong?”
“Wh-What happened to this place?” he asked in a quivering voice. “I-It’s barely been two weeks! Why does it look like nopony’s lived here for centuries?”
“This is far from the first property I have seen end this way. If you do not keep up your house, it can fall apart within moments. And I fear that we…did not find maintaining an abandoned building a major concern.” Luna pointed up to the sky, where a hoofful of guards sat in wait on specialized clouds. “We only used enough security to keep looters from ransacking the estate. Their duties do not include yard work and home repair.”
The words did little to appease Blueblood’s horror. His eyes burned as he walked closer and closer to the front door. My home…my beautiful estate. There will be so much to rebuild, to bury, and…to build and bury simultaneously. No wonder Princess Celestia needed my help with sorting this place out.
Luna’s magic worked its way around the doorknob, undoing the magical locks the sisters had put into place and slowly pulling it open. Fortunately, the door’s hinges weren’t subject to the same rapid passage of time, and flew open without so much as a squeak. The dread feeling in Blueblood’s heart gradually diminished as he stepped within the front foyer of the house he had once called home. To his amazement, all of the furniture remained exactly where it had been, with only the white cloths draped over them serving to remind him that somepony else had been there. A thick layer of dust covered every inch of the room, but that was nothing some furniture polish and elbow grease wouldn’t fix.
Slowly, the big princess and the little prince walked through every inch of the ancient house’s ground floor, their eyes peeled for any signs of cobwebs, rats, or solicitors. Everywhere they went, however, it just looked exactly the same. Even worse, the electricity seemed to be turned off, leaving everything draped in a foreboding grayness. The floorboards squeaked underneath his hooves, far more so than when he had been living there, and the doors squeaked loudly with every push.
The procession continued until they reached the house’s ballroom. Sure enough, the furniture was still here, from the family’s ancient grand piano to the tables and chairs stacked on the side. Were it not for the dust and dirt, it could have even matched the grandiosity of the castle’s own ballroom, if only a bit smaller in size.
Luna barely held back an undignified sneezing fit as she levitated the covers off of the piano. Her hoof traced across the wonderfully grained surface, taking in the exquisite craftsponyship of the instrument. Despite being in the house of a pony she had only just recently moved up to her “Barely Tolerable” list, she still couldn’t help but smile. “This is a…Crestofori design, correct?”
Blueblood simply shrugged before coughing up a few dustballs. “I think so. My grandparents based the design on some of the earliest pianos left in Equestria. They said it was to prove how long our family had stood, not to mention just how powerful and wealthy our house was.” He snickered a bit at the irony of it all. “And now there’s no house left, thanks to me.”
“Correct,” Luna said. Blueblood opened his mouth to offer some sort of retort, but wisely decided against doing so while he was still in Luna’s good graces. Instead, he simply returned to searching through the room, unearthing more priceless treasures and family portraits with every swipe of his hooves. Every inch of the ballroom’s walls were covered with fine representations of the various heads and members of the Blueblood family, highlighting their magnificent triumphs throughout Canterlot history.
On one mural was their triumph over the underclasses during the Great Cake Riots, also known as the day Celestia learned to make sure her speech pages were in the right order and not announce what was on the menu for the celebratory banquet before telling them that she had resolved the bread shortage.
Another was a lovely portrait of Blueblood City, a town his ancestors had planned on building on a lovely patch of land just a few hours away from Canterlot. It would have served as a prosperous farming community, where ponies would feel free to work and play in safety, while also making the family a fortune from the taxes. It would have worked, too, if the Princess hadn’t given the same land to some seed sellers.
And then there was…
“Your Great-Grandfather, General Longsword. Were it not for his command at the Battle of Fetlock Hold, Equestria would have fallen to the Griffon Kingdom long ago.”
Blueblood gulped in fascination. The pony in the picture was so…magnificent in his appearance, so strong, so powerful. And here he was, a colt whose only claim to fame was being Princess Celestia’s favorite family member. “I never knew we had so many amazing ponies in our family.”
Scarlet Letter chuckled and ruffled his son’s mane, albeit only after making sure the room was clear of servants. “Of course. And I have no doubt that you will be even greater.”
The colt snickered and pushed his father’s hoof away, blushing slightly from the sudden parental contact. “Come on, dad. I’m just…”
“Son, our family is one of the oldest in Canterlot. We can trace our heritage all the way back to Princess Celestia herself. I’ve been around long enough to recognize the potential for greatness when I see it, and you have it. You’re already smarter than most of the colts your age. Just remember that…”
“You are a Prince of Equestria, and you must live up to your title.”
Luna looked over from the piano, her hoof tapping on an e-flat as she did so. “Did you say something?” Blueblood quickly shook his head negatively, and despite the slight quivering in his eyes, it was enough to get her off of his back and back to examining the instrument. She didn’t even notice Blueblood sneaking out of the ballroom and back to the front hall.
The colt stopped only when he reached the bottom steps of the staircase leading up to the bedrooms. His own chamber was one of the first doors upon reaching the top, a wonderful gift when one was trying to sneak about during the night. Of course, those stupid Pegasus guards had to keep catching him, even after the most impressive juice box heist in Equestrian history. Those…Pegasus ponies and their wings! How dare they…
“Hey!”
Blueblood’s eyes snapped open as the disembodied voice rang through his ears. He spun about on the spot, surveying every inch of the hall, but not a single other soul could be seen. Still, he could swear he was hearing Lofty…
The colt froze. That’s right…I…need to stop thinking like that. All the ponies are equal, Blueblood. Remember that.
After a few seconds of shaking his head to knock out the bad thoughts, Blueblood was finally ready to begin his epic adventures in stair climbing. The floorboards creaked slightly with every step, reminding the colt of just how lax he had been with his home’s upkeep. Then again, there wasn’t much left in his monthly budgets after he figured out the hoof polish, replacement combs, and other assorted necessities. His appearance was of the upmost importance, after all. And besides, cake frosting wasn’t going to wash itself out of his coat.
The second story was in no better condition than the first. The floor was coated with a thick layer of dust, while spiders danced about in the cobwebs that lined the ceiling. Fortunately, none of the doors were locked, and he was soon able to enter a once-sacred chamber that had been abandoned for all of two weeks: his bedroom. Just like everything else in the house, the room was exactly as he had remembered it, save for the guard he had knocked out missing from his closet.
The colt heaved a great sigh, his breath displacing some of the dust on the ground, and finally stepped towards the small bookshelf he had next to his bed. The wooden furniture piece was still loaded with some of his favorite tomes, from A Brief History of Canterlot Royalty to The Adventures of Mauvebeard the Pirate.
“Honestly, Blueblood,” Velvet Cushion muttered, “what do you see in such drivel?”
The foal looked up from beneath his covers, just in case the Boogey Pony was starting to stir and taking a look around before jumping out. “But it’s fun!”
“It’s a stallion rampaging around the ocean, laying waste to villages and pillaging frigates.”
“But he’s doing it on Celestia’s orders! It’s the only way to stop the Griffons from cutting off Equestria’s sea trade!”
Cushion let out a parental moan and slammed the book closed. “Dear, this is not the kind of material a prince should be enjoying. Swashbuckling pirates, wenches, sailing for months at a time, all of those are for ponies of peasant stock.”
Blueblood gasped in horror. He had heard of peasants before, but had never seen one. Still, they had to be nasty customers if his mother was so worried he would become one. “B-But…Mauvebeard is a Duke, remember? He gave up his title so he could defend Equestria in ways a noblepony never could!” The colt took in a deep breath and puffed out his chest. “And one day, I’m going to be as brave and amazing as he is!”
Velvet rolled her eyes and floated the book back to the shelf. “Right now, it’s time for all the good little ponies to go to sleep. You’ll need that shut-eye if you’re going to grow up into a big, handsome prince, after all.”
Blueblood barely suppressed a giggle, with but the tiniest gasp of a snort escaping his budding propriety settings. The foal wiggled his way deep into the covers, his mother applying the finishing touches with a few tucks of her hooves and a peck on the cheek. The pleasant touch of his mother’s warmth against his cheek caused the gears powering the colt’s motor to rapidly slow, and before long Blueblood let out a yawn and closed his eyes.
A grin spread across Cushion’s lips as her little stallion drifted off to rest. “Sweet dreams, Blueblood.”
The colt gave another great big yawn and fidgeted just slightly. “Good night, mom,” Blueblood muttered to nopony in particular. In the time since he had begun reminiscing, the colt had climbed onto his old bed, not even bothering to remove the white sheets and brush off the dust. He blinked his eyes, but no more visions seemed to come. He was alone until Luna inevitably discovered where he had wandered off to.
Blueblood’s gaze gradually shifted along the floor until he reached the bookshelf again. The books were still all there, not a single one moved. The colt rubbed his eyelids, but nothing changed. B-But it was so real. Mother…and…
Deep within the colt’s heart, a switch seemed to be pulled. This house…these things…my parents…none of them…
The colt chocked and snorted as a familiar burning sensation spread across the bottom of his eyes. “No…No…”
“Is something wrong?”
The only sign that Blueblood had even heard Luna’s question was a tiny flick of his right ear. The Night Mare slowly walked up to the bedside and sat on her haunches. Her close proximity only made Blueblood tense up even more. “Blueblood, I know we have had our…disagreements, but if there is something I can…”
“I’m fine!” the colt shouted, causing the Princess to recoil in surprise. “I…I just…I have to…” From that point on, his attempts at linguistic communication degenerated into a string of nonsensical moans and syllables, accompanied by the occasional hack and sob. Luna simply sat at the spot, her hoof slowly stroking the colt’s back. It was several minutes before Blueblood could speak coherently again. “I’m sorry. I just…can’t spend any time here without remembering…things.”
Luna smiled and sighed. “I can understand. After all, this is your family estate. So much history within these very walls…” She clicked her tongue and shook her head. “In any case, I think things are in order here. Shall we return to the castle?”
Nodding his head, the colt jumped down from the bed and slowly walked out the door. If nothing else, returning home had opened his eyes to an unfortunate, unavoidable truth. He knew what he had to do. No more running away. No more shifting the blame onto others. It was time to atone for his mistakes.
And he knew just who he had to talk to.
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Cadance groaned as she looked over the latest advertising pamphlet Shining Armor had dispensed on her desk. This time it was for one of the local sandwich shops, advertising their new “Twenty Ponies Long” party meal, perfect for hoofball parties and family gathers, but not so much for weddings. Still, the princess managed to smile a little, even as her fiancé’s tactics became more and more obvious. At least he’s not trying to wear his armor down the aisle anymore. I swear, if he had his way, he wouldn’t even take that off for the wedding night.
A sharp knock emerged from the bottom of her door. She quickly tucked the advertisement into one of her desk drawers and walked up to the door, willing it open as she approached. Standing on the other end was none other than her long-lost nephew, eyeing her with no small sense of failure. “Leon, what’s wrong?”
“C-Cadance,” he muttered, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
The mare smiled warmly, looking more and more like her aunt every day. She quickly stepped aside, allowing the colt access to the room itself. Slowly, Blueblood worked his way in, his head still locked on the floor. Once the door was closed, Cadance climbed into her personal chair and patted the small seat next to her. “Have a seat and tell me all about it.”
Reluctantly, the colt climbed into the seat, still not daring to look at his cousin. “Cadance, it’s…well, it’s about…”
The princess sighed. “It’s about your father, isn’t it?”
The colt was silent for a moment, despite his brain’s desire to blurt out who he truly was. Still, something was holding him back. He didn’t know if it was common sense or fear talking, and he didn’t care anymore. “Yes. You told me you didn’t like him, but…why?”
Cadance turned away while letting out a mournful sigh. “That’s a very, very long story. I mean, we were close for such a long time, but then something happened. We both changed, and he became…something terrible…”
Blueblood nodded along as she told her tale, already knowing what she was going to say.
---------
The Canterlot Garden Party was in full swing, as well it should be. Everypony who was anypony had already received an invitation, prepared their finest vestments to prove their worth, and were already on the castle grounds to feast on tiny appetizers and listen to the prattling of the various gossips and rumor mongers running about. The musical accompaniment was just barely finishing their opening movement, playing the same symphonies that had been performed for centuries straight.
And standing at the center of it all was Princess Cadance. Her jade-colored gown was draped across her body like a green blanket, leaving just enough room for her wings to be on display. Around her stood a host of ponies, most of them mares, and all of them talking freely to the winged pony in their midst. It was just as Celestia had said; one could hardly tell that she had not a friend in the world when she was but a foal.
Captain Shining Armor was also in attendance, albeit overseeing the party’s security rather than actually participating. He wasn’t even allowed so much as a single cracker, whereas before he could gladly sneak out as many of the things as he could get away with. Such was the responsibility of the Captain of the Royal Guard to set the right example for his subordinates, even the ones he had been chugging cider with only a week prior.
Prince Blueblood, meanwhile, watched the scene before him with a grim scowl on his face. His magic shakily moved his cup from the punch as something slowly worked its way through his system, building his rage and causing his head to feel like it had been clobbered by a thousand clubs. The other ponies seemed to pay him no heed; not even Lemon Lime seemed to notice the prince, his attentions instead locked on the princess he once tortured and his teetering old father.
“So, tell me all about it,” asked a mare.
Cadance sipped her punch, coughing a little as a peculiar burning sensation touched her tongue. “About what?”
Another mare gave her a gentle nudge on the shoulder. Blueblood’s cup shook slightly at this affront to royal personal space. “About Shining Armor, of course! Come on, it’s not everypony who gets to take the Captain of the Guard to the Grand Galloping Gala!”
Cadance’s cheeks burned a bright red, which was admittedly hard to notice against her normal coat color. Fortunately, her irises contracting to the size of fleas was a pretty clear indication of her unease, as was her attempts to fight back her natural reflex to extend her wings at such a feeling. Her cup twirled about in a haphazard manner as she seemed to start losing her grip on her magic. “W-Well, he’s a…perfect gentlecolt, if that’s what you mean. He held all the doors open, insisted on paying for the meal, and even walked me back to my quarters.” Her eyelids half-closed. “It was a bit of a pain, I suppose, but he meant well, and we had a lot of fun.”
The mares around her only sighed. “Princess, that’s not what we meant. What happened…after the Gala?”
Cadance shrugged. “I took my dress off, climbed into bed, and went to sleep. Nothing more.”
A collective moan of disbelief, frustration, and futility arose from the mares, driving Cadance’s cheeks even further up the color palette. Even from a distance, Blueblood missed none of this. His cousin’s naiveté about her position in Equestrian society was matched only by her inability to fess up to the true nature of their relationship. After all, Shining Armor was of common birth legally, and he knew what those common ponies were like. Their carnal desires and malicious attitudes would only drag Cadance into shame and scandal.
He looked down at his drink. His vision was getting hazy, but he could still think straight enough. If Princess Celestia was not going to do what was necessary, then he had no choice but to take matters into his own hooves. And if Cadance wasn’t willing to listen…
“Then I have to make her listen.”
The stallion flung the cup aside with a single burst of magic, the glassware losing what remained of its tenth refilling before landing in the bushes. Using what little he remembered from the military classes at the Academy, he marched forward, albeit at a bit of a slant, until he was directly behind the unsuspecting group. “Cadance…we need to talk. Now.”
The mares recognized the voice almost immediately, and quickly made tracks to elsewhere. Only Cadance remained behind, staring at her obviously inebriated cousin with no small measure of concern and frustration. Shining Armor took a few steps forward, but otherwise made no attempt to act, at least not until he knew what was fully going on.
“A-Are you drunk, Blueblood?” Cadance asked.
Blueblood’s face twisted into a bit of a growl. “Of course not. Only peasants can get drunk. You will learn that lesson quite well once you’ve been reduced to one.”
Cadance raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”
“Have you considered what would happen to you if you married your beloved Captain?” The Prince scowled. “Do you really wish to spend your life…cleaning lice out of blankets and…scrubbing bird droppings off the sidewalk?”
The Princess facehoofed at her cousin’s stupidity. Around them, the guests began to break away from their usual rounds of carousing and rumor mongering in favor of the upcoming drama. Only the band continued to play on, if only because their contract required them to proceed regardless of any chaos that happened to be occurring around them. It was the only way they ever got through last year’s Garden Party, especially when the baguettes started flying.
“Blueblood, we have been through this time and again. I love Shining Armor, and he loves me back. And as crude as you can be right now, I want nothing more than for you to remain a part of our lives. So please, just let this go.”
The Prince snorted. He had heard this same argument time and again. Whether it was Princess Celestia threatening to remove his name from all upcoming guests lists, or Cadance demanding that he get rid of those ponies who were following her all day, everypony had tried to silence him and his most virtuous cause. But despite his determination, the mare still seemed determined to ruin her life. Nothing seemed to reach her…save perhaps this.
Seeing no more value in wasting time with her cousin, Cadance spun about to rejoin the others by the stage. She had made it exactly three steps by the time he spoke. “Tell me, does Shining Armor know he’s marrying a freak?”
Everything froze, from the highest-and-mightiest noblepony to the smallest blade of grass. The band, contract or no, screeched to a halt; the new cellist’s bow went flying into Shining Armor’s helmet from her hoof’s sudden deceleration. The blow was enough to knock some resin into the Captain’s eye, stunning him just long enough for the spectacle to continue.
Cadance’s jaw dropped just slightly, her eyes shaking with disbelief. “D-Did you just…?”
Blueblood smirked. At last, she was listening. “You heard me. You’re a freak, a mutant, a disgrace to Equestria’s noble bloodlines. Only Princess Celestia is special enough to have both wings and a horn. Somepony like you doesn’t even deserve to be in the same room as the rest of us. If there was any justice in Equestria, you’d be sitting on a street corner somewhere, begging for whatever scraps you can find like other deformed ponies!”
A collective gasp, coupled with the sound of glasses and appetizers hitting the ground, echoed across the party grounds. Cadance coughed up a small sob, her eyes already stinging with tears. Her pained expression was a showcase of the years of memories she had struggled so hard to repress. “W-Why are you…?”
“No wonder your parents never wanted anything to do with you.” Blueblood’s grin continued to spread itself out, gradually morphing into a contemptible sneer. “It wasn’t just because they were good ponies following a sacred tradition. No, they knew their daughter would grow up to be nothing more than another disappointment.”
The pain shot through Cadance’s brain like a bullet. Her ears perked and twitched as she swore she could hear the mocking laughter of foals coming from all sides. She pulled her wings so tightly against her body that it felt like she was wearing a corset, just in case somepony tried to pull out her feathers. Her voice became hushed and raspy, as if she was afraid the wrong ponies would hear. “P-Please…stop…”
Shining Armor finally recovered enough from the resin attack to begin making his way forward, but it was too late to stop Blueblood’s final assault. “No wonder your special talent is making ponies love you. Why else would anypony even want to date a winged freak like you?!”
By the time Shining Armor’s charge had connected with Blueblood’s body, the damage had already been done. The proud, confident mare that had once stood before them was now little more than a broken little filly. She hacked and coughed a few more sobs before galloping out of the garden and into the castle itself. Her cries bounced about the grounds for several more seconds before gradually dissipating into the ether.
----------
Blueblood sat silently as Cadance wiped her eyes clean. Her own view on the events matched up cleanly with his memory. “S-So what did you do after that?”
Cadance let out a deep breath. The very act of exhaling seemed to have a miraculous effect on her composition. “I went right to Princess Celestia and told her everything. Obviously, Shining Armor had Blueblood thrown out for disrupting the party, but there was nothing we could actually charge him with. As far as I know, he went right back home and continued his life like nothing had happened.”
“But he never apologized?” the colt asked. Not that there was any reason to; he already knew the answer well enough.
Cadance shook her head. “No, he didn’t. In fact, he never spoke to me again after that. Even if he had wanted to, Shining wouldn’t have allowed it. He kept a running guard around me whenever Blueblood and I were in the castle at the same time. The Grand Galloping Galas were the worst, though.” A pause. “Fortunately, Shining Armor and I got permission to skip the last one. From what I hear, it was an absolute disaster. I know Blueblood would never let it go.”
Blueblood nodded in agreement. The Gala certainly was a fiasco, thanks to those six ponies. Those six ponies he had tried to kill and whose home he wanted razed because they got cake on his suit. The colt arched his back slightly and let out as mighty a cough as he could raise, if only to break away at the guilt building up inside. “So…that was it, then?”
The Princess nodded her head once. “Yes, I suppose so. I wasn’t here when your father was banished, but for something like that to happen, he must have done something quite terrible.” She sighed. “I…I guess I would like to meet him again, just to see if he was all right. He is an awful pony, Leon, but he’s still my cousin. And as much as I want to just walk away and leave him to die, I can’t do it. Still, I should be lucky that you’re here.”
Blueblood cocked an eye. “What do you mean?”
“You’re a smart, curious little colt from what I’ve seen,” Cadance said with a smile. “I know things have been pretty rough the last couple of weeks, but you have a bright future ahead of you. No matter what Blueblood is responsible for, you do not have to suffer because of his actions.”
The colt squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. He could already feel a wave of nausea rushing through his body, threatening to make this confession into a spectacle to rival the Grand Galloping Gala. “Cadance…I have to tell you the truth.”
The Princess, ever blind to the patently obvious, cocked her head to the side and grinned in the most guilt-slinging way possible. “About what, dear?”
“A-About…”
The colt’s eyes were shut so tight that they felt like they were on fire. His breathing became sharper and heavier with every passing second. He could no longer control the emotions burning inside of him. “I-I’m Prince Blueblood.”
“Now you shouldn’t say things like that,” Cadance said. Her hoof glided out and tapped the colt on the shoulder, petting him much like a cat. “Like I said, you’re not…”
Before she could say anything else, Blueblood’s hooves shot out and gently smacked her unwelcome hoof away. The impact finally gave him the strength to open his eyes, revealing a pair of retinas that burned with all the heat of a thousand molten volcanoes. “He’s not my father. I am Prince Blueblood.”
For just a moment, it seemed like the entire world stopped spinning. Cadance’s mind tried to laugh off the colt’s ridiculous statement, but before her eyes, everything seemed to start becoming clearer. The colt’s close resemblance to Blueblood, the weight of seriousness in his voice, and the power in his eyes all hinted at something she really, really didn’t want to believe. “Wait…you mean…?”
Blueblood closed his eyes and nodded his head twice. “I’ll explain everything…”
----------
Princess Luna’s hoof gently glided the new roster back to Shining Armor. “Very well, your proposal meets with both our approval. We will implement the new postings during the next rotation.”
“And the increase in training time?” Shining asked. “After the combat evaluations, we really need to teach more than a few of these guys the difference between gripping a claymore and holding a longsword.”
If it weren’t for the fact that these ponies were supposed to be the most elite in all of Equestria, Luna’s response would have most likely risen beyond mere giggling. Celestia shared the same expression, although her own gaze never left her correspondence with the Griffon Kingdom. “Of course. And I think you should attend as well, Captain. We cannot allow the mighty pony leading our forces to start slacking off, now can we?”
Shining Armor blushed a little at Princess Luna’s remarks. “W-Well…with your leave, I think I should be heading back to my quarters. I’m sure Cadance is…”
No sooner had that last sentence left Shining Armor’s lips than an incredibly loud crash echoed throughout the study. All three ponies spun their heads about just in time to catch the first fiery snort to emerge from the very wrathful Princess Cadance’s nostrils. In an instant, all warmth and love was drained from the room entirely, leaving the chamber little more than a cold, dusty tomb. “Um…I-Is something wrong, Cadance?” asked Shining Armor.
The mare slowly stomped her way into the study, her head remaining perfectly level, while her eyes seemed to burn with immeasurable power and intensity. She stopped only when she was at just the right range to poke one of her forehooves into Shining Armor’s chest. “Leon came to my office just a little while ago.”
Celestia shifted about nervously, her hoof pulling at her necklace in a futile attempt to calm her own rankled nerves. “I…see…”
“He had the most interesting story,” Cadance continued. “It seems that Blueblood never had any foals. Instead, the pony you told me was Leon was actually Blueblood the whole time, kept under some kind of spell until he passed a test all of you set up!”
Shining Armor’s face twisted into the most wonderfully awkward smile he could manage. He had seen Cadance upset before, but never truly angry. “W-Well...I…wanted to…”
“And you didn’t think to tell me any of this?” Cadance’s voice became raspier and raspier as she struggled to intone just the right words to express her rage. “I was there with him the entire time, for pony’s sake! By Jove, you’d think my own aunts and fiancé would try to keep me from making an idiot of myself!”
“Y-You did no such thing,” said Shining Armor. “Look, I’m sorry things happened like this, but I-I didn’t know how to tell you about Blueblood’s condition. I didn’t even know what was going on until I got back to the castle.”
Cadance’s eyes turned back to Celestia. “So, your ‘vacation’ was just you getting turned into a filly? Why would you lie to me like that? I’ve seen enough bizarre things in this castle to believe something like that.”
The Sun Princess recoiled in shock. In all the years she had been Cadance’s caretaker, she had never heard the mare raise her voice to her in such a way. “I-It was a delicate situation! I couldn’t allow anypony to…”
“To know it was my fault,” said Luna. Cadance’s dagger-like eyes turned to the Night Mare, somehow managing to scare even the pony who had helped take down Discord. “You see, I was…trying to get back at Princess Celestia for some…rather cruel practical jokes, and I believed that spell would be the perfect chance.”
Shining Armor’s own eyes widened at the admission. “Wait…you mean you did that? I thought it was some evil Unicorn!”
“I should have known.” Cadance shook her head grimly. “But why did you make this all up? Why did you tell me that was Blueblood’s son?”
A dreadful silence overtook the chamber, as nopony dared to open their mouths and incriminate themselves any further. Cadance’s eyes shifted from one pony to the next, just daring them to give her something resembling a justification for this house of lies. Princess Luna twisted her lips inward, her face resembling a pony who had just bit into a raw lemon. Celestia levitated a pile of papers in front of her face, her telekinetic field holding them together in the most awkward manner possible. That left only Shining Armor, also known as the pony who had started this mess to begin with, to answer.
Sensing that his support had eroded, the Captain sighed and stepped forward. “Cadance, this is all my fault. I-I had missed you so much, and…after what you said in the garden…I-I was afraid that…”
Cadance raised one of her eyes, the other remaining perfectly slanted. “Wait…do you mean that…Shining, I was joking! I never thought something so…ludicrous could happen!” She took a few steps forward, her gaze never once breaking in its intensity. “Shining, I know you and Blueblood have had problems in the past, but what could possibly compel you to lie to me about something like this? I would have understood if you had just told me the truth.”
Shining’s cheeks burned like a scolded foal. “Look, Cadance, this doesn’t…”
“I…I can’t handle this right now,” the mare whispered. “I-I need some time to think…”
Before anypony could utter so much as a single word, the mare turned on her hooves and trotted out the door, her head hanging slack and swaying slightly with every step. None of the other ponies in attendance made any effort to stop her. In fact, none of them exactly felt right even talking to her at the moment, especially the pony she was set on marrying. Shining just readjusted his helmet and began walking towards the direction of the barracks.
After tonight, there was no way he would be welcome at home.
----------
Atop one of the castle’s walls, a tiny white colt simply sat and stared at the stars. It might have been well past his bedtime by this point, but he didn’t particularly care. After a day like this, going to sleep would be as much of a dream as anything his unconscious mind could concoct. Besides, Princess Luna had done a wonderful job. Sparkling specks of light danced and shot across the black canopy, while the moon seemed to radiate with an almost unearthly brightness.
Blueblood was so entranced by the beautiful night sky that he didn’t even notice Celestia approaching him until she was directly at his side. “It seems your confession had made a mess of things,” she said with a sigh.
The colt’s face fell. “I know. You could hear it clear through the castle.” He grimaced slightly as that newfound feeling – guilt – gnawed away at his heart. “I’m sorry. I never meant to…”
“The fault is all ours,” said Celestia. “None of us should have deceived Cadance in such a way.” She sighed as she rested her forehooves against the parapets. “Still, with you as a foal…”
“I’ve changed my mind.”
Celestia’s ears perked up as she turned her head, just barely catching the colt in her point of view. “Pardon?”
“When we were at my old home, I…had a chance to think about what this would mean for me…my family…everything.” The prince turned his own head, locking eyes with his aunt. “I don’t like the pony I was anymore, but I am still Blueblood. Even if I never hold a title again, I was still raised to be a prince. Back then, it was just a way to get what I wanted without ever working for it, to make ponies desire me without putting forward any effort. But now I know that being a prince means more than just living on a big tract of land and making everypony kiss your hooves.”
He sighed. “It means working for the benefit of everypony, not just yourself. I can’t do that by upholding old traditions and behaving like an inconsiderate dunce to everypony I encounter, but neither can I do anything if I’m playing when I should be working.”
The colt sniffed and wiped his eyes. “I want to stay like this. Here, I have friends who care about me, ponies who respect me without knowing what my rank is, and no responsibilities to speak of. But I must do what is right, even if it isn’t what I want. That’s why…I have to go back. I have to answer for my crimes.”
Celestia stared at the colt with a mixture of silence and sadness. “Just a short time ago, I was in the same position you are in right now. When Luna offered me the same choice, I had to perform a similar examination. I had thought I wanted to stay a filly, but once I realized how much I would be sacrificing, how many ponies I’d be abandoning for my own selfish desires, I knew I wanted to return.”
She leaned over and gave the colt a small nuzzle. Blueblood’s eyes briefly flashed with surprise at the sudden contact, but the smooth rubbing motions soon reduced his tension to something not dissimilar to clay. “I know you don’t want to come back, but I respect your decision. However, you have one more thing you must do. There are some ponies you owe an explanation.”
Blueblood nodded. His back was still facing towards Celestia. “Shouldn’t we tell the school as well?”
“We can…sort that out later,” Celestia murmured. “You don’t want to know what I had to go through just to get the paperwork done the first time. In the meantime, there is something you must do tomorrow, before I can consent to returning you to your former self. You have to tell Lofty and the others what’s going on.”
The colt shuddered and buried his face even deeper into his forelegs. “You’re right. I-I’ll try to figure out something.”
The scene fell quiet soon after, save for the occasional trotting of a passing guard and the clattering window in the cold breeze. The two ponies simply stared up at the night sky, taking in the twinkling spectacle Luna had provided for Equestria this night. Every star seemed to dance to and fro in the night sky, as if celebrating the end to this horrendous ordeal. It was several minutes before Blueblood spoke again. “Do you think I’m making the right decision?”
Celestia sighed, her smile slowly fading away as she answered. “I don’t know. This whole situation is a mess. We still have to figure out how we’ll explain Leon’s disappearance, not to mention what happened to you in the meantime. But…yes, you’re right that you cannot run away from your problems. Just stay strong, and soon, things will be all worked out.”
The colt nodded and yawned. After a whole day of fighting, escaping, being judged, making one decision, backpedaling, and possibly ruining his cousin’s future marriage, fatigue was refusing to let up. His entire body leaned into Celestia’s, taking in the Sun Princess’ warmth and drifting him off to sleep. Things will work out…I hope.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” Fanfiction
-AND-
A Flagrantly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
To call the atmosphere in the courtyard tense would have been a tremendous understatement. The news that Captain Shining Armor had spent the last night sleeping in the barracks with the non-commissioned soldiers was obviously a topic of great discussion amongst Canterlot’s Royal Guard. By the time the morning bugle had sounded, everypony in the castle had heard of the previous night’s quarrel, the reason Cadance found out, and why Shining had been condemned to the dog house for the time being.
By the time Blueblood had arrived for the morning drills, not a single pony could crack so much as a smile. The younger soldiers were either befuddled by the intricacies of the situation or otherwise confused by the reaction of their superiors. The officers, meanwhile, knew enough to not raise a ruckus and just remain quiet. After all, when the boss wasn’t happy, nopony was happy.
Blueblood shuddered as he looked around the ponies assembled. More than a few gave him the same deathly glares they shot at him as an adult. Against his already diminutive height, it just made everything around him look even larger and more menacing. “Wonderful,” he muttered to nopony. “I’m about to go back to normal, and everypony already hates me again.”
Before he had a chance to keep soaking in his failure, however, the sound of horns bellowed throughout the courtyard, prompting everypony to snap to attention. Their fearless leader, Captain Shining Armor, gallantly strolled into sight with all the grace and dignity that an officer sleeping on the broken spare cot in the barracks could muster. A few tiny white streaks gleamed under his eyes, the face paint just barely masking the worry lines. If somepony didn’t know any better, he would have seemed to have aged about ten years overnight.
Despite his exhausted exterior, the Captain still trotted up to the front of the line and flashed his guards a salute. The gesture was just as swiftly returned, followed by the sound of dozens of hooves crashing into the ground at once. “Good morning,” Shining said. His voice was more than a little hoarse, and no amount of coughing or gulping seemed to calm his jangled vocal chords. “Today is going to be handled a…little differently. I fear I have some…private matters to attend to, so Lieutenant Rolling Thunder will be leading you through this morning’s drills.”
A collective groan echoed across the courtyard, ending only when an armored Pegasus mare broke off from the front of the formation and stomped her right forehoof three times, each pounding sounding like a hammer slamming against a steel plate. Shining Armor gave the steely mare a nod of approval before slinking away towards the officer’s quarters. He was in such a hurry, in fact, that he failed to notice the tiny foal in toy armor taking up the rear…
----------
Deep within the musty confines of her high tower lair, Princess Luna sipped on black tea and dug through the remainder of her nightly court’s workload. So wrapped up in her work was she that her royal ears barely noticed the clopping of hooves on the other side of the doorway until Ruby slammed it open. The sudden impact jostled the Pegasus’ stuffed saddlebags, causing more than a few ink wells, quills, parchment scrolls, and other assorted nick-knacks to tumble onto the carpet. “My…My apologies, Princess Luna! I-I had no idea…”
Luna raised her hoof, her magic still at work sorting the papers and floating the tea cup to her lips. By the time she had finished her latest sip, her attendant had already scooped up most of the discarded goods, leaving only a few tiny spots of ink to mark her accident. “Calm yourself, Miss Dream. You had no way of knowing I would be requiring your services today.”
The mare smiled as best she could, considering how heavily she was panting and gasping for air. “O-Of course, Your Highness. I was just…a little surprised,” she said while walking into the room, the door gently closing behind her. “After all, I thought Princess Celestia was in charge of today’s…day, and…”
“Yes, Equestria is under her watchful eye this day. That does not mean that I must set aside my own obligations, however.” Another sip. “I need your assistance with preparing for tonight’s ritual.”
“Um…yes, of course!” Ruby snapped off another salute, jostling loose another random assortment of objects. “Um…what ritual would that be?”
Luna sighed and reclined in her seat. “Prince Blueblood has been judged, and found worthy of a second chance. He has elected to be returned to his rightful age so that he may pay penance for his crimes.”
Ruby’s awkward smile flipped about into a frown almost instantly. “Y-You mean…But I thought that…”
The youngest of the Royal Pony Sisters rose to her hooves, her wings flapping unconsciously as her muscles tensed. “He was a friend of your daughter’s, was he not?”
The mare sighed and nodded her head. She could already tell where this conversation was headed, and it was not going to be a pleasant one. “She’s going to be devastated, you know? I mean, that picture he gave her might be her favorite birthday present ever. She was talking about it the rest of the night.” Her brow furrowed as another thought made its way to the forefront of her mind. “You don’t think he’ll try to…”
“Keep such a friendship going even after his return?” Luna shook her royal head. “No, I do not think so. He seems quite adamant in his desire to make amends, and a part of that is realizing what kind of impact his…presence would have on Lofty. And besides, does she not already have a friend well outside of her age group?”
The two mares stared silently at each other for a moment more, and then broke into laughter. There truly was nothing like having a good laugh at your sister’s/ruler’s expense to kick off the morning. In but a moment, all of the tension and anxiety hanging in the air seemed to be sucked out entirely, leaving but a gentle and relaxed atmosphere in its wake. “Well, that was invigorating,” Luna said just before sighing. “Now, there is another matter we must discuss. Do you remember the cake I had the chefs begin sculpting?”
“You mean the one Princess Celestia already ate?” Ruby sighed and bowed her head. “Yes, I do.”
Luna’s horn lit up with her magical power, seizing hold of a rolled-up scroll bound together with Equestria’s Royal Seal. The parchment gracefully floated over to the waiting Pegasus, sliding down into a small crack in her stuffed bags. “I need you to deliver this request to the kitchens. They are already working on a second cake for tonight; I need them to change a few details on the frosting.”
Ruby very gradually raised her head, her eyebrows already cocked in surprise. “B-But I thought…”
“This was never fully intended for my sister alone.” Luna rose from her seat, her muscles pulling and tensing from the morning strain. “The original cake was a proof-of-concept, nothing more. I had planned to present this desert to Princess Cadance and Shining Armor, as a celebration for their upcoming nuptials.” She closed her eyes. “After last night, I believe both will be in need of a great deal of sugar.”
“…Yes, I heard,” Ruby muttered half to herself. “The whole castle has been talking about what happened...and speaking of which, what about Prince Blueblood? Will he be…?”
Sensing just what was about to be asked, Luna walked around her desk and took up a position next to her attendant. Any trace of joviality seemed to vanish from her face, accompanied by a general darkening of her already dark face. “This is about him as well. For all his stupidity and faults, I fear I may have erred in my judgment. I would hesitate to call him a good pony, but…he does not deserve banishment or execution as I once thought.”
“I can understand that,” Ruby muttered. “He tried to hurt my Lofty, but…what I saw of him didn’t seem as bad as before. And Lofty seems to really like him…” She shook her head, knocking the unwelcome thoughts out through her ears. “I-If it’s all right, do you mind if I…perhaps leave a little early to…”
Luna nodded her head. “I understand completely. Now, what say we resume running Equestria? The nation will not wait for us to settle our differences with the members of our family, after all.”
Ruby Dream smiled, gave her monarch a quick nod of approval, and cantered off to deliver the all-important notice to the royal kitchens. Luna stood perfectly still as she left, wings still extended, her ears listening carefully for the sound of her hooves to fade into the distance before trotting back to her own desk to resume her regular tasks. Her sister needed all the help she could get if they were going to finish everything by this afternoon. There were still press releases to send out, laws to pass, correspondences to write out…and a nephew’s sentence to consider.
Luna sighed to herself on that last thought. At the very least, this will be true justice, not vengeance…
----------
The knocker on Shining’s door rattled with every strike from his hooves. “Cadance? Are you in there?”
If there was anything else on the other side, it was doing its best not to make itself noticed. The Captain poked his head about the windows, but saw no lights or any sort of motion whatsoever. If his fiancé was still inside, she was either locked away upstairs or hiding far in the back. He couldn’t help but sigh at this small defeat. She’s probably at work already. If I…
“Hey, Shining Armor?” said a voice from the direction of his legs.
The Captain looked about the ground beneath him, and quite quickly identified the source of the vocal intrusion. Standing only ten steps away from him was Blueblood, his little face practically burning from the crimson hue in his cheeks. Shining’s own reaction was not that far off, albeit for what he could only assume were completely different reasons. “Hello, recruit,” he said in a flat tone. “Why aren’t you back with the other guards?”
“You know why,” Blueblood said. “We have to talk about what happened last night. You know, about Cadance getting mad and everything.”
Shining rolled his eyes and sighed. “You mean how you told her everything? Yes, I’m well aware of that. She was very specific about just who gave up the ghost.”
Blueblood nodded his head, his body trembling from a combination of his shame over last night’s events and the typical morning cold. “I just…wanted to apologize. I didn’t know she would react as harshly as she did.”
The Captain cleared his throat and turned his eyes away, his lips curling into a scowl. A thousand memories came rushing back, from the day he had the misfortune of meeting Blueblood to that disastrous party. “If I remember correctly, you were very clear about us getting married. I would have thought you’d be a lot happier about her throwing me out and ignoring me.”
Blueblood sighed, his body shaking even harder than before. There was no use in denying the obvious: Shining Armor was telling the truth. Were he his old self, he would have already ordered champagne and started planning a massive party at his estate at the mere prospect of their holy union being shut down. “But I’m not the same pony I used to be. You even said that yesterday. So please, believe me when I tell you that this was never my intention.”
“Then why did you tell her?” Shining’s eyes gradually turned back to the colt. Blueblood, for all his worry and terror from earlier, seemed to be standing just a tad stronger than before.
The foal’s voice seemed to grow a little stronger with every word, accompanied by a significant drop in his convulsions. “Because she had to know everything that happened. Shining Armor, I am not going to stay a foal. I can’t keep living a lie just because it makes my life so much easier. That’s why I had to tell Cadance. She deserves to know who I really am. And if that means she’ll never want to see me again, then so be it.” His eyes narrowed. “And besides, you’re the one who told her I was my own son! Do you have any idea what that’s put me through the last few days?”
“I was trying to save face, okay?!” Shining snapped, as did something in his heart. “She came in here talking about how much she missed her big cousin despite him being the most obscene flankhole in the history of Equestria! Because for whatever reason, she still cares about you! Not just some foal who happens to look like you, but the actual Prince Blueblood!”
Blueblood reared back a few steps, completely caught off-guard by the Captain of the Guard’s outburst. Shining Armor panted and heaved, his eyes practically trembling from the intensity of his explosive temper. The air around them seemed to grow stale and cold as the two locked eyes, neither pony willing to back down and make themselves out to be the loser of this confrontation. It wasn’t until Shining’s glare dimmed and Blueblood coughed and turned his head aside that anypony dared speak. “Well…I’m sorry,” the colt said. “I-If there’s anything I can do…”
Shining sighed and shook his head. “There’s nothing else you can do. This is something Cadance and I have to work through ourselves.” He shrugged slightly. “Still...I think you made the right choice. A shame, really. You would have actually made a decent guardpony.”
The Captain’s words struck Blueblood like a bolt of invigorating lightning. Slowly, he dared to turn his attention back to the armored figure. The same pony who had just only recently been berating him for possibly ruining his future marriage, was now regarding him with just the faintest hint of a smile on his lips. In an instant, Blueblood’s spirit felt reinvigorated and alive, a far cry from the dumps he was in a moment earlier. “Do you really mean that?”
Shining nodded in affirmation. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a fiancé to grovel in front of, and you have a school to get to.” And with those parting words, Shining galloped away as fast as his finely-toned legs would allow, eventually disappearing through a doorway leading into the castle itself. Once he was out of range, Blueblood finally gave out a mournful sigh.
“I could have actually been somepony,” he muttered to the air molecules dancing around him. “Instead, I’ll probably be locked away for the rest of my life…”
If I survive school first.
----------
Once again, Ribbon seemed to pick up on Blueblood’s downer mood from the moment he stepped through the door. She set her crayons back into her pencil box; her sketching of the greater secrets of the cosmos as pictured by a little filly would have to wait for another day. She had barely stashed her scratched-up paper by the time Blueblood plopped himself in his seat. “Good morning, Leon!”
“Morning,” the colt replied.
The filly tilted her head slightly to her right, causing her smile to resemble a crescent moon. “Is something wrong?”
Blueblood shook his head. Now was definitely not the right time. “No, just…I have to talk to everypony during recess, okay?”
“Well, of course you do!” Ribbon practically shouted. “It’s your turn to come up with an idea for the ribbon!”
The colt’s left eye twitched just slightly. The jostling kicked the gears in his mind back into motion, but for all their grinding and scraping, his brain had only a distinct case of metal poisoning to show for his troubles. “M-My turn? Since when were we taking turns? I thought Gusty and Lofty were in charge of getting that ribbon down!”
Ribbon (the pony, not the article of clothing) rolled her eyes at her friend’s ignorance. “Oh Leon, that’s not how the world works. Everypony has to help each other and work together to make sure nopony gets left out! I mean, that’s what mom and dad always tell me!”
Actually, it doesn’t work that way… “I guess they’re right.”
“Exactly!” the filly chirped. The sudden burst of unregulated mirth slammed into Blueblood like a sledgehammer, breaking down his despair and bitterness over the current situation. The colt’s lips curled into a smile, prompting yet another bout of laughter from the filly. The continuous pumping of merriment into the atmosphere only served to inflate Blueblood’s growing sense of self-confidence and enjoyment, represented by his own giggling and snorting. Fortunately, the rest of the foals were too wrapped up in their own little circles to notice those two and their ridiculous fun-having.
Before long, Blueblood could feel a strange sensation coursing through his body, as if a great stain had been washed from his soul. Such a reprieve was short-lived, however, as in his euphoria the colt couldn’t help but turn his head just enough to catch sight of an empty seat on the other side of the room. The sudden jolt nearly knocked Blueblood off his hind quarters, instead settling on just taking away his smile and rendering him as depressed as when he had first come in.
“Hey, is something’s wrong?” Ribbon asked. Even at her young age, she could sense her friend’s sudden drop in good feelings.
“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” Blueblood lied. Even as the bell clanged out the start of another wonderful day of early education, he couldn’t help but think about what was to come…
Not to mention figuring out how to get that stupid thing off the stupid tree. If this is to be my last day as a free pony, then I should go out with some pudding…
----------
“So wait… You didn’t come up with a plan?”
Gusty’s face twisted and contorted in rage as she regarded the sad sack of Unicorn before her. Blueblood seemed almost incredulous at the possibility that he might have undone months of work with but a single oversight. “I…I didn’t know I was supposed to have one until school started! How was I supposed to figure something out?”
"You should have just ignored what Miss Brightly's saying!" The filly rolled her eyes at her friend's apparent mindlessness.
"B-But she's a teacher," stammered Buttons. "I-I mean, why would it ever be a good idea to ignore her?"
Snowball snorted and laid down on his barrel, his legs tucked underneath. "Besides, today she was talking about something really cool. Did you know that spiders have eight legs and some can kill you in one bite?"
Gusty opened her mouth to protest again, but the awesomeness of such a deadly creature even existing in boring old Equestria overrode any sort of counterargument she could offer. Buttons, Ribbon and Smokey all shuddered at the mere thought of that horrid beast crawling up their legs, thus creating a perfect imprint for their upcoming nightmares. Blueblood and Lofty just shrugged, neither pony really finding spiders any more distasteful than centipedes or flies.
After a few more seconds of silent admiration and fear, Gusty finally spoke up again. "That may be the best lesson ever, but we have a problem! You were supposed to provide us with a plan for getting that ribbon down. We can't just...whack away at the tree until it drops, you know!"
Blueblood's eyes wandered away from his nearby friends to the trunk of that accursed tree. Sure enough, there were an assortment of worn markings around the base, at just the right level for any of the ponies currently in attendance. "Let me guess, you tried kicking it down?"
"Actually, that was the Earth Ponies," said Ribbon. As if on cue, everypony's eyes drifted off just a bit to the left, centering on a gathering of unhorned, wingless fillies and colts playing volleyball on the other side of the playground. "They learned that they're supposed to be strong and everything, so a couple thought they could just buck the ribbon."
"And the Pegasi tried to fly up there." Lofty shook her head sadly. "Problem is, none of us are strong enough to make it more than a foot or two off the ground."
"And magic's no good," said Buttons. "We've tried to pull down the whole branch, but all anypony can do is just make it shake a little."
Gusty gave the ground a furious stomp. “It’s hopeless! That stupid ribbon won’t ever go down, and we’ll never get our pudding snack!”
The rest of the gang simply rolled their eyes at the filly’s tantrum. “Um…Gusty? We’ve been out here for five minutes,” Buttons said. “I know that’s a long time, but…”
“B-But nothing!” The bottom of Gusty’s eyes began to water. “Every day we come out here, try to get this stupid ribbon down, and for what? A…A pudding cup? It's probably not even good pudding!"
With that, Gusty's speech degenerated into a series of pained wails at yet another day of asparagus and grapes as the midday snack. Blueblood stepped forward to offer some measure of comfort, but froze after only a few clops of his hooves...
"They learned that they're supposed to be strong and everything, so a couple thought they could just buck the ribbon."
"None of us are strong enough to make it more than a foot or two off the ground."
"All anypony can do is just make it shake a little."
The sudden burst of inspiration caused Blueblood's eyes to nearly triple in size. Of course. That's what we had to do all along!
The colt's hooves slammed against the ground like a hammer, calling the attention of the others back in his direction. His very stance and voice radiated with a sense of confidence and cool determination. "I know how to get the ribbon down, but I'm going to need everypony's help." The others looked about each other in confusion for a moment before turning back to their apparent commander. "Ribbon, I want you to gather as many Earth Ponies as you can. We're going to need their muscle. Lofty, do the same thing with the Pegasi. Gusty, the Unicorns. Bring everypony you can find back here."
A brief murmur of discontent flashed within the party, but dreams of getting the ribbon and earning that pudding snack pushed such thoughts aside within seconds. With a quick salute and a hearty "Hi-ho, Silver!" the foals dashed away to gather the rest of their workforce. Once they were far enough away that the others couldn't hear them anymore, Smokey climbed back to his hooves and trotted over to his new friend. "So...what are you gonna do?"
Blueblood smirked in response, his eyes still locked on the branch. "I'm going to bring that ribbon down...for all of us."
----------
Roughly five minutes later, Ribbon returned with over a dozen Earth Pony fillies and colts. They all looked about themselves in sheer confusion, no doubt over why the strange Unicorn was suddenly pulling them into this midst of this game. The filly gave her CO a salute, no doubt to fully immerse herself in whatever game they were playing. "Troops present and accounted for, SIR!"
Blueblood recoiled a step from the filly's excitable outburst, if only because nopony could have expected Ribbon to be quite that loud. "W-Well... Good work."
The filly grinned a goofy smile, secretly happy that all those stories she heard about soldiers and whatnot from her uncle had paid off. At the same time that was going on, however, Lofty had also returned, now accompanied by nine of the best Pegasus ponies she could convince to drop everything and assist a possibly insane colt. "This was all I could get. Sorry."
"That'll do," said Blueblood. "Now, has anypony seen Gusty?"
"RIGHT HERE!" Everypony's heads turned to the direction of the sandbox. Gusty and about six other Unicorns emerged from the dusty wastes like nomads coming across an oasis, their tongues parched for want of manna or pudding, whatever came first. Upon reaching the rest of the party, the boisterous filly gave a triumphant smile and cocked her head back. "I got everypony I could find! Now, let's get that ribbon!"
Blueblood jumped back a few steps, in only to make sure everypony could see and hear him. His loyal army was as disorganized as one could expect of a gathering of young foals, but hopefully it would do. "Very well. Everypony, our goal is to get that ribbon down from that tree." His hoof shot out towards the branch. "In order to pull this off, however, we're going to need everypony to help out. Got it?"
A low murmur was his only answer. Of course they don't believe me. I'm sure Lofty and her...my friends weren't the first ones to try and get that ribbon down. His hoof slid down to the trunk. "Earth Ponies, I need you to buck the tree. Try to make sure everypony's in rhythm with each other." Next, he pointed at the tip of the branch. "Unicorns, we need to concentrate all our magic on that end. We're going to start pulling it down." And last, he pointed at the Pegasi. "Once we have it coming down, you guys need to reach up and grab the ribbon. You remember that pony ladder we made yesterday, Lofty?" The filly nodded. "Make another one, but this time put four on the bottom, then three on top of them, another row of two, and finally one on top."
He clapped his hooved against the ground. "Does everypony understand?" The foals quite obviously didn't for the most part, but their discontent seemed to gradually fade away against a fresh wave of excitement. Apparently, all that time with the Royal Guard had finally begun to pay off. "Then let's start! We only got a few minutes until recess ends!"
Everypony in attendance gave a yelp of support before dashing into position. The Earth Ponies stood in a ring around the tree, their hooves trembling with excitement. The Pegasus Ponies simply stood in position underneath the branch, with Lofty already portioning them off for when the time came. Blueblood joined up with the Unicorns in a single huddle about five feet from the very tip of their target, everypony making sure they had a good shot.
After a few more tense seconds of making sure everything was perfect, Blueblood stomped his hooves, signaling for the operation to begin. The Earth ponies all reared up and once and gave the tree the most powerful buck they could muster. The impact of so many hooves against the stubborn wood caused every branch on top to begin rustling, sending plenty of leaves tumbling to the ground. Even the branch the ribbon sat on seemed to bounce to the groove.
At the same time, every Unicorn's horn began to glow as the foals grunted and groaned to force their magic to cooperate. Despite their youth and the weakness of their general power levels, the combined force of so much magic in one place caused their various forces of will to coalesce, until a small aura about the size of an adult's own telekinetic spell began to form. The sparkly mass weighed heavily upon the wooden outcropping, and with the force of so many little ponies pushing down on it, it had little choice but to descend. The shaking from the Earth Ponies wore away at the resistance at the bough, allowing the fillies and colts the chance to push the oversized stick downward.
Once the target had lowered itself just enough, the Pegasi sprang into action. Following Lofty's specifications, four of the strongest ponies in the class stood shoulder-to-shoulder in a straight row. Three more jumped onto their backs, their wings practically snapping in anticipation, followed by another two. Finally, Lofty herself climbed up the right side of the makeshift pyramid, taking her time to make doubly sure that she didn't overly injure anypony that was beneath her. To her eternal amazement, the added height, coupled with the descending branch, had left the ribbon's tassels just within mouth range.
Spreading her wings, the filly took a mighty leap upwards...
----------
"And that's why Princess Celestia should lower the Tea Tax," Swift Feather finished. The other ponies in attendance all nodded along, only occasionally glancing out to check on the foals. They seemed to be very interested in the ribbon tree, but otherwise nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Ever since Orange Peel had been pulled out, the playground had been incredibly quiet.
Miss Brightly sipped her coffee while giving a small hum. "Well, if you ask me, we need to..."
"Um...excuse me?"
The sound of a foal's voice broke the teachers out of their meeting and down towards the ground. The crowd that had been gathered around the tree was now standing right in front of them, led by the same group of foals that had been involved in the Orange Peel incident. And caught between the lips of Lofty was the ribbon, now completely unfurled and ready to go.
A collective gasp echoed throughout the playground. "H-How did you do that?!" asked Mr. Snowflame.
"It was a team effort," said Blueblood. "We all worked together and used our abilities to pull the branch down."
"Now, where are those pudding cups?!" asked Ribbon.
The adults looked about each other in utter horror. Not once since they tied that ribbon to the tree had they ever imagined so many ponies teaming up to get it down. It was just...something they did to keep the foals motivated. But now the little ponies had done their impossible task...
"Mrs. Swift," muttered the principal, "I want you to fly to the nearest grocer and buy every pudding cup you can get your hooves on. Chocolate, vanilla, tapioca, anything."
The foals practically jumped for joy at the news. The crowed was so active in their exhuberance that Mrs. Swift just barely managed to fly high enough to escape the school grounds and begin her epic adventure for the largest dessert order in the Canterlot School System's history. As fillies and colts alike danced about each other happily, Blueblood simply smiled at his hoofwork. He had helped them all finally get their reward...
His heart sank. And now I have to tell them the truth.
----------
Unfortunately for the little foals, the school's faculty refused to halt their education to make room for pudding time, thus forcing them to wait until the last recess period of the day. Needless to say, the next several hours were among the most intensely aggravating moments in the little ponies' short lives. More than a few ponies simply discarded their lunch, lest those accursed bananas and apples interfere with that most splendid of confections. Not a single pony even sang along with Miss Brightly's rendition of this week's spelling lesson, and the Arts-and-Crafts activity simply ended with everypony competing to see who could make the world's slowest rendition of Princess Celestia out of foam and coloring pencils.
Finally, the bell gave a merciful, long overdue cry, and everypony filed out for their last recess. Standing right at the entrance to the playground was Swift Feather and Gusty's mother, alongside several tables full of every manner of pudding imaginable. Chocolate, vanilla, tapioca, raspberry, strawberry, coconut, brussel sprout, avocado, everything. As the crowd of famished students descended like locusts upon the hapless adults, the other teachers joined in to provide backup, forcing the foals into an orderly mob and instituting a one-cup-per-pony system. Fortunately, the store had just enough pudding to go around, and every foal was soon able to enjoy their favorite flavor, or in case they were at the end, whatever one they despised.
After grabbing his spinach-flavored treat, Blueblood's eyes began to wander about the playground in search of his friends. Sure enough, they had all not only managed to get in line before him, but were sitting under the tree they had just conquered. I suppose I couldn't pick a more appropriate place to end this.
Gusty's eyes flew open as Blueblood approached, her lips still stained from sucking up the remaining liquid in the plastic cup. "Hey, Leon! Way to go, buddy!"
Blueblood cocked an eyebrow. "Way to go?"
"You're the one who got us this pudding." Ribbon wiped her mouth and nostril clean with one leg, fighting off her urge to gag. "Just a shame we had to get bread-flavored pudding. And why'd they have to make it look like chocolate?"
"Just to mess with us foals," Snowball said while shrugging.
"Well, I...I'm glad you're enjoying it," the colt said slowly, "because I have to tell you something..." Blueblood could feel his heart beating faster and faster, in turn causing his breathing to accelerate at a breakneck speed. The others looked at him with bemused glances, but otherwise said nothing. “W-When I first came here…do you remember what Lofty said?”
The two colts simply shrugged, while the fillies all seemed to shift into the chin-tapping mannerisms that usually punctuated deep thought. “Well, she didn’t want to be friends with you,” said Ribbon.
“And she said something about you being a big pony turned into a foal,” said Buttons, mere moments before breaking into a snort. “Of course, that was just her be silly!”
Blueblood sighed and let his head droop. “A-Actually, she was telling the truth. I really am a grown pony.”
The prince's audience was silent for a few moments, as if trying to digest his words alongside the pudding in their stomachs. But that awkwardness was just as readily replaced with a chorus of laughs from everypony involved, save for a visibly stunned Lofty. "Oh, please!" said Smokey. "Don't you know grown-ups don't turn back into foals! I don't even think they were foals to begin with!"
Buttons tapped her tapioca-stained chin. "Well, they're always saying 'When I was your age' when I get in trouble. I...don't think they'd lie to us about that..."
Blueblood shook his head. Once again, his friends were rude enough to have the attention spans of foals. "No, it's true. You see..."
And so the prince began to tell the entire tale of his transformation, from the night at the Grand Galloping Gala all the way to the present. He spared no detail, not even when it would have been preferable for the foals not to know. His friends listened as he spoke of his plan to destroy Ponyville, and how he had been changed into a foal when he tried to blackmail and kidnap Princess Celestia herself. Their faces fell as they learned of the true nature of Blueblood's crimes, and why the Princess of the Sun herself had banished him to this school as punishment. The only thing he willingly withheld anything on was Celestia's own time as a filly, both to spare Lofty any further embarrassment and because he really didn't understand everything that was going on at that time. Such is what happens when a pony's under house arrest.
"And that's why I have to go," he finished. "I've done a lot of really, really bad things, and I have to be punished for them."
Slowly, the colt raised his head away from the grass and towards the foals. To his horror, their reactions were just as he had predicted. Lofty picked and kicked at the grass, unable to look her friends in the eyes after perpetuating this lie for so long. Snowball and Smokey eyed him with a look that was somewhere between shunning him and wishing a meteor would cave in his head. Buttons and Gusty exchanged befuddled glances, but made no move towards the false foal.
That left Ribbon. The filly's head hanged low, but it was not enough to hide the obvious sounds of choking. Her frame seemed to be collapsing in on itself, the hairs on her mane and tail were slightly puffed from the emotional trauma, and the less said about the water coming out of her eyes, the better. Blueblood took a step forward, his mouth opening to prepare some sort of apology, but the sound of his hooves against the dry grass was enough to send the filly running away.
The colt froze as the filly vanished into same bushes he had used to spy on Orange Peel a few days prior. Right now, though, that colt was seeming like the better pony to Blueblood. He turned to speak to what remained of his former friends, but the only noise to come from his throat was a dry, hacking sound. None of the others offered to take up the slack, for that matter. With a final defeated moan, the colt turned on his hooves and walked away, leaving his unopened pudding cup behind.
----------
Ribbon wasn't quite sure how much time had passed since she had went into hiding, nor did she particularly care. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get the tears to stop falling. Her brain smacked the errant thought processes, admonished her for acting like a baby, but she couldn't help it.
"L-Leon...he wasn't...I...But..."
Her rear hooves finally gave out, sending the filly toppling onto her hind quarters. The sobbing gradually reduced in intensity, save for the sniffling and whimpering, as her brain finally played catch-up. Leon's going away...No, he was never real. B-But...he was my friend. Why would he...?
In a flash, everything changed. The heaves and sobs ceased as a black coldness dripped over every inch of the filly's body and soul. Her eyes gradually narrowed until they were almost completely closed, while a tiny spec of blackness manifested briefly on the tip of her horn.
Celestia...It's her fault. She's the one who made Leon think he was a bad pony. And she's the one who's making him go away.
The filly's mouth folded into a scowl. You were right, uncle. She really is the worst pony who's ever lived. And I have to save him!
----------
To say the last part of class was awkward would be a tremendous understatement. From the moment the littlest ponies returned from their scheduled playtime, Blueblood dared not look at either Ribbon or Snowball for more than a few seconds, just in case their condemnatory glances made him feel even worse. The other colt in this broken relationship seemed more than content just to sit in his chair and fume over this sudden betrayal.
Ribbon, on the other hoof, just seemed utterly lost in her own little world. Every passing moment was spent writing or drawing something on a sheet of white paper, all while using her bravest sniffles to fight back the waves of sadness gnawing at her very being. Once in a while, Miss Brightly would ask her if something was wrong, but all she would get in response was the filly shaking her head.
Mercifully, and after so many hours of torture, the final bell of Blueblood's short-lived scholastic return rang out. In an instant, all of the little ponies began to canter out of the room; the only reason they didn't break into a blind gallop was because Miss Brightly would have held them up for a discussion on running in the classroom. Before Blueblood himself could slip out, however, he felt a grown hoof tap him on the back of the crest. "Leon, may I speak to you?"
Blueblood shuddered at the sound of Miss Brightly's voice. He slowly turned about to see the teacher standing above him, looking at him with a worried expression. Ribbon and Snowball were already gone, no doubt wanting to distance themselves as much from their traitor of a friend as possible. "Um...yes?" he stammered.
"Did something happen between you and Ribbon?" Miss Brightly closed her eyes. "She seemed really upset after the last recess."
Blueblood's eyes shifted back and forth, his brow slowly growing wet from a sudden outburst of sweat. He drilled at the ground with his left forehoof, but unfortunately there was no way he was going to tunnel all the way to Neighpon before his teacher lost her patience. "We had a fight. I...I don't think she wants to be friends anymore."
Miss Brightly sighed and adjusted her balance. "I see. Leon, I want you to know that just because friends have a fight, it doesn't mean they have to stop being friends forever."
Blueblood shook his head sadly. "No, I think she hates me. Really hates me."
Sensing that a heart-to-heart was in order, Miss Brightly walked back to her desk and took a seat, her hoof beckoning the colt to follow. Shrugging in defeat, Blueblood complied for what would be the last time. "Leon...this may be hard to believe, but I was a young pony once, too. When I earned my Cutie Mark, I knew my destiny was to be a teacher. When I got a bit older, I went to school to learn how to teach my little ponies." She shook her head. "While I was there, I made a friend, an Earth Pony from Ponyville named Cheerilee."
Blueblood cocked his head, doing his best to feign ignorance. It probably wouldn't help his case if Miss Brightly knew of his former plans for that village. "Ponyville? Where's that?"
"It's a small town a few hours from Canterlot, but that's not important." Miss Brightly turned her head away, looking more than a little nervous about revealing this long-hidden secret. "We were so close throughout school, but just before we graduated, we got into a fight. She was offered a teaching job in Manehatten, but she wanted to go back to Ponyville to teach at the same school she had attended as a filly. I...didn't understand why she would turn down an opportunity like that, so I told her. We had a few too many grown-up drinks, and...well, she said I was the worst friend ever and refused to speak to me again."
Blueblood shook his head slowly. "Then...there's really no..."
"Oh, this has a happy ending," the teacher very quickly exclaimed. Her face quickly lit back up, and Blueblood's nerves cooled in response. "It took a few years, but after a while, I wrote a letter asking her how things were going and if she was still angry. As it turns out, she had forgiven me the next day, but was afraid I was still angry at her. If I hadn't written that letter, I may have still lost a friend."
"I...I think I understand," the colt muttered. She's right. Perhaps in a few years, when Ribbon has had a chance to calm down, I can check in on her. She wants to learn about magic; perhaps I could sponsor her entrance into Aunt Celestia's magic school. And I could make similar offers to the others.
...No, that would just be buying friends again.
A sudden knock at the door echoed through the room. Both ponies turned around to see Sky Bloom looking through the open doorway. "I'm sorry, but I need to pick up Leon. Is everything all right?"
"Yes, of course," said Miss Brightly. "Blueblood just had a fight with one of his friends, and I was trying to tell him things would be all right."
"A fight?" Sky Bloom asked worringly. She cocked an eyebrow at the colt. Blueblood simply looked away nervously. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," the colt muttered. "C-Can we go home now?"
Sky Bloom nodded in response. Miss Brightly smiled, climbed back to her hooves, and gave Blueblood a slight nudge towards his mother. The colt simply walked towards his mother without another word, following her out of the classroom and then the school grounds. Fortunately, Sky Bloom's body helped block his view of the ponies all lined up outside, just in case he ran into a few he really wanted to avoid right now.
Once they were safely out of range, Sky Bloom turned her eyes towards her fake son/real nephew. "Are you sure you're all right?"
Blueblood shook his head. "No... But I can't do anything about it now."
"Are you ready to go back?" the mare asked. "There's still time to..."
"I have one more thing I have to do," he said, his voice cold and detached. "But after that, we need to get this done with as soon as possible. I have to face my punishment."
----------
The scene at the front of the school was just as hectic and fast-paced as ever, save for six little foals. Blueblood’s former compatriots simply stood by the gate, kicking at the ground and looking absolutely pitiful. None of them could even muster the strength to eat their pudding cup; the snacks simply sat, unopened, in their saddlebags. None of their parents had arrived just yet either, with Gusty’s mom busy in a meeting and the others just being a little behind. Even the sight of a ribbonless tree was but a small comfort to the injured foals.
“I can’t believe he’s gone,” Gusty said sadly. “First Orange Peel, and now Leon?”
“He was never there to begin with,” muttered Snowball. “He was a grown-up the whole time, remember? We all know they were never little ponies.”
Buttons opened her mouth to correct him, but no noise came out. Instead, she sank to her haunches and let out the deepest sigh she could muster. “I know what you mean,” Lofty said. “I thought he was mean back then, but…he was actually kind of nice. For a colt, I mean.”
“So, what do we do now?” asked Smokey. “He’s probably getting locked up in some tower somewhere until they fix him, right? Or a dungeon. I mean, that’s what they do to ponies the princess gets mad at, right?”
The foals heaved another combined sigh. There was no doubt in their tiny little minds about what sort of fate Blueblood was in for. Princess Celestia would never hurt a filly, of course; their parents had always told them that she was super-nice and super-wonderful. But if Leon became an adult, then she could do anything she wanted. He could be on the moon within the hour, or sold into slavery, or…
“We have to save him.”
Everypony’s eyes turned to Ribbon. The blue filly now stood on all four hooves, her eyes burning with a vigor none of them had seen in their lives. “If she takes Leon away, we’ll never get him back! He’s our friend, and he needs our help!”
“B-But he was always an adult, right?” asked Buttons.
“No, he wasn’t! That was a totally different pony! Leon is one of the coolest colts we know, right? Do any of you think he could have done something bad enough to get punished forever?” Everypony shook their heads. Ribbon’s entire core now overflowed with confidence as she plopped back onto her rear and crossed her forelegs in a show of pure defiance. “I think I know how we can help him, but we have to get into the castle! I think there’s a shortcut through the sewers, so let’s…”
Her gloating session came to a scratching halt underneath the chorus of moans and groans that emitted from the others. "The sewers?" asked Snowball. "Do you know much it smells down there?"
"B-But there's a secret passage into the castle." Ribbon reached into her saddlebags and pulled out a mouth-drawn map of Canterlot's sewer system, along with a rough map of Canterlot Castle. She tossed the paper on the ground, prompting the other ponies to huddle around the blueprints of their break-in. "All we have to do is slip through the sewers, open a door here, and we'll be right underneath Princess Celestia's office. We can then..."
"What are you ponies up to?"
Lofty's eyes widened at the sound of the voice. She spun about to find herself facing her mother, who was eying the juvenile ponies with a mixture of confusion and gentle warmth. The others managed to register the question just as Lofty broke into a gallop, stopping right in front of her mother and nuzzling her on the shoulder. "Mom, did you hear what happened?! Leon's going away!"
"Yes, I know," the mare said slowly. She gave her daughter a nuzzle along the back. "I'm sorry. I know he was a...better pony than any of us had expected."
"That's why we have to save him!" Ribbon shouted.
Ruby Dream cocked an eyebrow. "Save him? Hon, I don't think he's in any danger. He just has to go back to who he really..."
"We don't want him to go away!" Everypony turned their heads towards a suddenly-excited Gusty. "He's one of the coolest ponies I know, and we're not going to let him get punished forever!"
"And he helped us get the ribbon down," said Buttons. "If it weren't for him, we would never have gotten our pudding."
Ruby looked down at her daughter, who gave her a smile with custard-stained teeth. "I see."
Snowball and Smokey looked at each other briefly, their minds teetering back-and-forth over whether or not to join in. "Well...he did help Orange Peel," Smokey added. "I'm not sure anypony would even try to be friends with him after how he was acting, but...Leon did."
"And it's thanks to him that we got new friends," said Snowball. "So yeah, we want him to stay, too."
"It's not that simple," said Dream. She pushed her daughter back and took a step away, if only to keep an eye on all the foals at once. "Blueblood is a grown pony, not a foal. He's done a lot of terrible things, and he has to be punished for them like anypony else. Princess Celestia's not going to throw him into the sun or anything. She'll probably send him to prison for a little bit, make him do charity work, things like that."
"B-But if somepony's really sorry, you should forgive them, right?" asked Lofty. "That's what you're always telling me, right?"
"W-Well..." Every instinct of Ruby Dream's being told her not to look down. She knew exactly what Lofty was planning, and had fallen victim to her ploys more than once, but she had to stand strong. Discipline was important, and she had to temper her daughter's naive belief in how the criminal justice system worked with a dose of harsh reality. It would hurt her for a while, but she would get over it...
And then she let her gaze slip downward just enough to catch the very edge of Lofty's eyes. The filly's little white orbs were practically shaking from the tears forcing their way out, her pupils already the size of tea saucers. The concentrated blast struck the hapless mother right in the forehead, burrowed into the deepest recesses of her brain, and activated all those little motherly synapses of her brain while also shutting down her ability to think logically. Before long, she was but a few moments away from becoming a vegetable in her daughter's hooves.
That was when the other ponies joined in, intensifying the death beam until it threatened to overtake an entire city block. Finally, Ruby Dream could take no more. "W-Well...I can at least take you to the castle...let you say your goodbyes. Just...are your parents all right with this?" Everypony gave a lying nod in unison. "A-Alright, then. Let's go before it's too late."
Lofty squealed and nuzzled Ruby's side. "You're the best mom ever!" And now we don't have to deal with poo gas! "Now come on, everypony! We have a friend to save!"
The foals gave off a deafening shout of support, grabbed their bags, and quickly trotted alongside the hoodwinked adult...save for Ribbon. The filly only looked down at her ingenious plot to toss a pie into Celestia's face and run off with Leon while she was distracted. So much hard work, gone to waste...
----------
The fire may have been roaring, but Cadance’s office was as cold as a tomb. Its sole occupant simply sat hunched over her desk, a stack of papers neatly laid out in front of her for her royal perusal. The room was awash in a sea of silence and disquiet, with only the crackling of the fire and the dull clicking of the grandfather clock serving to provide any sort of backdrop to Cadance’s oh-so-lovely day.
The mare was about halfway through the latest proposal for repairs on the highway connecting Manehatten and Fillydelphia when the knock came. It was a slow, seemingly fearful series of clangs against her doorway, but the inactivity of the room around her only served to amplify the noise until it resembled an entire marching band’s percussion section. Cadance sighed, floated her quill away, and said, “Come in.”
A few seconds passed before the door creaked open. “H-Hello, Cadance,” said a tiny, coltish voice.
Cadance shuddered for just a brief moment at the high-pitched squeak. A quick remembrance of how a princess was supposed to behave was enough to calm her down, but her right ear still gave a twitch every five seconds or so. Her eyes fastened themselves to the paperwork, lest she have to look at her diminutive cousin again. “Hello,” she said in the meanest voice she could manage.
Blueblood took a few steps inside. The door quickly caught the nearest gust of wind and slammed itself closed, causing the colt to jump in shock. Cadance barely fought back a laugh at her former favorite cousin’s expense before returning to her work.
"I-I wanted to talk to you," the colt continued. "H-Have you forgiven Shining Armor yet?"
Cadance scoffed, her eyes never leaving the stacks in front of her. "No, I haven't. And I really don't want to talk about him right now...or you."
A part of Blueblood's brain immediately suggested a tacitcal withdrawal, at least until she had calmed down some more over the whole "lying to her" thing. Such a move would have no doubt been the smartest option given his present situation. Unfortunately, Blueblood was not a particularly clever pony when it came to social interaction. "He...He was scared of what you would think. He was there, he knows what happened between us, and..."
An uncontrolled burst of magic sent the quill slamming into the desk so hard that it chipped through the top layer. While her face was still pointed at the surface in front of her, the scowl on her lips and rage building up inside was more than evident even from a profile perspective. "Did he really think I would do something like that? That I'd hold a grudge for this long? That I'd honestly treat you or him like some kind of monster?"
Blueblood gave a nervous smile and shook his head. "Well...yes. I did kind of deserve it..."
"Yes you did!" The sudden burst of rage was so strong and unexpected that both ponies had to recoil in shock. She jumped back to her hooves, her chair flying back so quickly that it slammed into the wall and snapped off one of its legs. Blueblood's eyes locked on the door, just in case he had to make a sudden escape, but Cadance was upon him before he could muster the strength to flee. "Do you have any idea what happened after that night?! I was humiliated in front of everypony! Not a single one of my friends would talk to me for days!"
"P-Perhaps they just wanted to make sure you were alright before..."
"Princess Celestia and Shining wanted to put me under lock and key just in case you came by again!" The mare prodded the colt in the chest. "But you never bothered to come back! You never even said you were sorry! Did you ever stop and think about what you did to begin with?"
Blueblood shook his head. Fortunately, this was probably the only time he could ever muster the strength to actually talk to her, especially since he was about to turn back into the thing she hated. "Cadance...I hated myself for that. I was drunk and stupid and let the whole idea of being a proper prince run to my head. I...I didn't apologize because I was honestly afraid to see you."
Cadance's eyes shifted away from their "piercing daggers" mode to "switchblade" fairly quickly, even as the rest of her body continued to shake with a previously unimaginable fury. "Do you really think that excuses anything? You were just as much of a bully as Frazzleberry."
"I know that," said Blueblood. "That's why I chose those words. I knew exactly where to strike you, and was cruel enough to do it." He sighed and laid himself on his barrel. "But...before I go back and face whatever Celestia has in store for me, I just wanted you to know...I'm sorry. I don't know if it means anything anymore, but...I still love you, Cadance. And Shining does, too."
The Princess raised her head back upwards and cocked an eyebrow. "You're...apologizing now? Blueblood, it's been far too long for something like that to suffice. This isn't something you can fix with just one conversation."
Blueblood sighed and kicked at the ground. "I know. I...I just wanted you to know that." He looked up nervously, catching her cousin right in the eyes. "Well, I'm going to be turned back to normal in a little bit. Shining Armor is going to be there, and...I was hoping you would join us as well." He gave a slight chuckle. "You could...throw tomatoes at me, if you want. I hear the kitchen staff bought too many for Princess Luna's pizza tonight."
The room fell quiet yet again, save for Cadance's gradually slowing breathing and Blueblood's rapidly palpitating heart. The Princess' eyes gradually drifted over to the pile of work on her desk for a moment before finally returning to the colt. "Well...I..."
Finally, the mare let out a defeated sigh. "Yes, I want to be there. But it's not to throw fruit in your face or anything like that. You're still my cousin, even if you were a total idiot, and I...just want to make sure you get this next stage of your life off on the right hoof."
Blueblood's eyes opened wide with a combination of surprise and unfiltered joy. Not once in all the build-up to this day had he even imagined such a thing being possible. Even better, he had a chance of getting out of this event with not a single trace of fruit. He gave a small gasp of relief, causing his eyes to deflate back to their normal size, before finally ending the display with a loving nuzzle to Cadance's side. "Thank you. I don't know if we'll see each other after today, but...you've grown into a wonderful mare."
Cadance's first reaction to the sudden contact was to freeze up just a bit in horror. She had never been this close physically to Blueblood (at least knowingly) since the party incident. Still, there was a strange sense of...warmth and rightness with the gesture. It was as if her old foalsitter instincts had come to life once again. Sighing, she gave her diminutive cousin a reassuring pat on the head. "And you've...changed a great deal since I last saw you, in a good way."
----------
Shining Armor practically exploded with shock as Cadance and Blueblood entered Luna's bedroom together. The elder Alicorns had just barely finished preparing the circle and procuring enough protection suits for what they hoped would be themselves and two other adults, and Luna's attention was focused on the scroll Twilight had prepared the last time they had ran into this situation. Before anypony could utter a word, the Captain galloped over to his fiancé and almost bowled her over with his passionate embrace. Fortunately, Blueblood was smart enough to leap out of the way, lest he get caught in the middle of their relationship again.
“I'm so sorry, Cadance,” Shining muttered. “I never meant to hurt you.”
Cadance gave a hearty exasperated sigh, her smile never once leaving her lips. “I'm still a little upset, but I should share some of the blame. I guess I did lay it on a bit thick when I first got here.”
Shining pulled back just slightly, despite every part of his brain wishing he could keep the passionate embrace going forever. “Perhaps this is a good thing. We've never really had a fight like this. Maybe we can use this to figure out how to solve other problems we'll face.”
“Of course,” Cadance said softly. “Every couple has to have a few arguments once in a while, after all. And it really wasn't that bad of a problem.” Her eyes suddenly jutted inward as she prodded a hoof onto Shining Armor's breastplate. “But you're still on the couch, mister!”
Shining was briefly stunned by the sudden outburst, but it only took a few seconds for his mind to rectify the situation into something more resembling a joke. “Heh...It still beats the barracks.”
“Now that all this is resolved, may I suggest we get things going?” Everypony's eyes turned to a very impatient Luna on the other side of the room. “We still have to prepare you two for the spell's after-effects. They can be most...unsettling if you are not prepared for them.”
----------
“I think I see it! We're almost there!”
“Everypony, charge forward! BREAK FORMATIONS!”
“Wait, that wasn't part of the deal! Lofty, get back here this instant!”
----------
With the last of the room’s preparations complete, Luna floated the counterspell up to her eye level. Celestia, Cadance and Shining Armor double-checked their containment suits, just in case another mad pony came charging in and tore a hole in their protective clothing. And sitting in the very center of the room was Blueblood, looking absolutely defeated in his last moments as a colt.
“Are you ready to begin?” asked Luna. Blueblood simply nodded his response. “Very well, then. Let us…”
“STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!”
Everything in the chamber obeyed the screeching command and came to a halt, mere moments before the door came crashing open. On the other side stood a very exhausted Ruby Dream and a collection of foals, four fillies and two colts strong. Blueblood’s eyes nearly popped out of their holes as the cadre of miniature horses descended upon him like adorable little locusts, slamming him so hard that the mass of bodies went rolling for a good quarter-yard.
The adults in the room stared at the foals for but a few moments before returning their gaze to the other intruder. Ruby slowly crawled up to her employers, panting from a combination of breathlessness and terror over losing her job. “I-I am so sorry! Th-They just said they wanted to say goodbye to him! I-I didn’t…”
“Princess Celestia!” shouted the all-too-familiar voice of Lofty. The Pegasus filly pulled herself away from the rest of her gang, her tiny little eyes quivering slightly as she approached her significantly taller friend. “You can’t take Leon away!”
“Take Leon...?” Celestia turned towards her nephew, who was still trying desperately to break free from the dogpile around him. “Blueblood, didn't you tell them what was going on?”
The colt coughed and wheezed as he just barely broke free of Gusty's iron-clad grip. “I-I thought I did! I don't know what's going on, honest!”
“What's going...?” Ribbon was the next to slip out, her eyes narrowing slightly as she looked at Celestia, causing the mare to recoil in surprise. “We were rescuing her from her! She was going to take you away, make you spend the rest of your life in some dungeon somewhere!” The filly's lips pursed as she regarded the contemptuous Sun Princess. “What, planning to erase him from history, too?”
“Erase from...what are you...?”
“Fillies, there is an explanation for all of this.” Luna pushed her sister aside; Celestia seemingly offered no resistance, if only to keep the situation from getting worse. “Blueblood may be your friend, but he has wronged a great many ponies with his actions. He must be held accountable for his crimes.”
Blueblood nodded in agreement. “That's what I told you earlier. There was never any Leon to begin with. I've just been a bad pony running away from any possible consequences, and now I have to pay. I can't just spend my time playing like a foal...”
“Excuuuuuse me?” Blueblood turned towards the source of the voice, only to earn himself a love tap across the cheek from Gusty. “Do you really think any of us like being foals? Having those parents telling you what to do and where to go? Having to eat the most disgusting foods ever imagined because they're 'good for you?' You ask me, prison's gotta be a whole lot better than this.”
“And besides, you're one of the coolest ponies I know,” added Snowball. “I mean, lying's bad and all, but you're still a nice pony. You don't deserve to be banished.”
Cadance pulled off her helmet and looked over at the older Alicorn. “Aunt Celestia, were you really planning to banish him?”
“W-Well, that was the official story,” said Celestia. “I didn't quite know what we were going to do, but...” She looked at her nephew. The colt's friends were still huddled around him, Ribbon's eyes never once leaving the mare lest she take her friend behind her back. “It seems you've made some very loyal friends.”
Blueblood scratched the nape of his neck nervously. “Well...yes, I guess I did.” He shook his head, trying his best to recapture his previous downer mood. “But that's not important anymore. I still have a lifetime of mistakes to make up for.”
Shining Armor slowly removed his own helmet and walked up to the small gathering. The foals recoiled at the adult's approach, just in case he was one of Celestia's loyal henchmen. To be fair, he kind of was, but that was beside the point. “If you ask me, I've think you've done more than enough. At the very least, I can't say I'm really angry with you anymore.” He looked over at his bride-to-be. “What about you, Cadie?”
“Well, it's Blueblood's choice, but...” The Winged Unicorn walked over to her cousin and gave him a nuzzle on the forehead. The fillies and colts recoiled in disgust, save for Ribbon; such was the way things went when one's eyes were on her enemy and not on what was going on directly behind her. “I think he's shown himself to be deserving of a second chance. Whether he's an adult or not is up to him.”
Blueblood looked about in confusion. Once again, doubt began to creep into his mind. He couldn't easily push his friends away a second time; there was no way they would forgive him a second time. At the same time, he couldn't turn his back on his responsibilities, especially after all the terrible things he had done. Celestia's attention seemed to shift back and forth between the various members of the room; even he seemed unsure of what to do. Luna simply stared at the sight with a sense of bemused fascination. His friends were still firmly at his side, their own faces reflecting more than a little concern and hurt at this abandonment.
Wh-What am I supposed to do? I have to be responsible! I have to be held accountable! The old Blueblood would have...
“Blueblood.”
The colt looked up in surprise at Celestia's voice. His aunt's confusion had ebbed away, revealing her usual motherly smile and look of eternal concern. So magnificent was her tone that the entire room fell completely silent. With everypony's attention firmly fixed on her, Celestia finally began to speak. “Prince Blueblood, you were sentenced to attend Magic Kindergarten to see if you deserved a second chance before I passed judgment. I am pleased to say that you passed, but it was not without much difficulty. As far as I am concerned, you have more than earned the right to have another chance at life.”
“D-Does that mean...?” Buttons began, only to be hushed by Smokey. Everypony's attention returned to Blueblood. The colt was once again sweating enough to fill a swimming pool. Once again, he had to make a decision. No more backing out. No more second thoughts. This had to be definite, final, the last decision of Prince Blueblood of Equestria...
“I...I...I...H-How about I...?” Everypony leaned in to hear better, the foals coming dangerously close to violating Blueblood's personal space. “Well...perhaps...”
Just have to hold out a little longer. Keep to the plan, Blueblood. All you have to do is...
“I...I would like a little more time to think about it.”
The entire room shook from the simultaneous face faults of every single pony in attendance. Only Princess Celestia, being the sure-hoofed mare that she was, refused to join in the disappointed chorus. “I see. How long do you think you'll require?”
Blueblood nervously rubbed at the back of his neck. “Well...I wanted to get started on my punishment right away, but this might take a little while.” His eyes turned to his friends, all of whom were just now returning to their hooves. “Perhaps a...week? Maybe two?”
“Or perhaps we should just keep you this way!” Whether it was the frustration with this turn of events, or just the pain from smashing her face into the floor, Luna wore a particularly vicious scowl when she finished climbing back to a standing position. “Blueblood, you were so adamant about making amends just a short while ago! How can you do that when you are just a...?”
“There's a way.” Celestia's wing folded itself over Luna, serving as a loving and polite way of telling her to shut up and let the big ponies talk. “Now, I understand there's a small reception downstairs?”
Cadance raised an eyebrow. “Reception?”
Luna grimaced from the futility of it all, but finally gave a defeated sigh. “Yes. I had planned for it to mark both the return of Blueblood and to rekindle your upcoming nuptials, but it seems that fate has once again sought to undermine my efforts.” She snorted and turned her head towards the ground. “At least there's a cake. A good one.”
Everypony's eyes lit up at the promise of a savory dessert. Sensing that a royal decree was in order, Princess Celestia turned her attention first to the foals. “Blueblood, I want you to take your friends to the banquet room downstairs. I imagine they're quite hungry after saving 'Leon' from me.”
“Y-You mean he's really gonna stay?” Lofty asked, her voice about as excited as a dog waiting to catch a Frisbee.
Celestia nodded. “For the time being, at least.”
Yet again, Blueblood's entire body shook, but this time not from fear or anxiety for his future, but with a sense of unfiltered bliss. Before the hugging session could resume, he leaped forward and landed in a perfect bow. “Thank you, Princesses. I would have still been the same rotten pony I used to be if both of you hadn't helped me.”
Celestia smiled at the acknowledgment of yet another day's work done. Luna's scowl worked its way up to a frown, but unfortunately wasn't quite able to make the jump all the way to a grin. “You have no need to thank us. We may have set things into motion, but it was you who made the decision to change.” The Princess of the Night rubbed her right leg nervously. “And...I must say I have never been happier to have been proven wrong.”
Blueblood wanted to say something else, perhaps even graduating to giving them the traditional Royal Canterlot Hoof Kiss, but this gracious attitude was broken by the timely arrival of Ribbon's hoof to Blueblood's back. “Come on, we've got to celebrate! It's not every day you get a second chance! At least, that's what the stories say.”
The foals all laughed at the terribly unfunny joke and trotted out the door, no doubt to feast upon as much make-up cake as possible before Celestia got there. Ruby Dream stared at the door after them in absolute bewilderment. “Wh-What just happened?”
“It seems your daughter and her friends are quite persuasive,” said Celestia. “Blueblood's been given a stay of execution...in a manner of speaking.” She turned to Luna. “Sister, I want you and your attendant to prepare a letter for tomorrow's newspaper. Tell them that the disgraced Prince Blueblood has been allowed admittance back into Equestria, under severe supervision and on the condition that he use this chance to earn his redemption.”
Shining Armor's eyes popped open with shock. “W-Wait, are you telling the papers to...lie about Blueblood? B-But how are we supposed to have him come back if he's still a colt?”
“I have my ways,” was her only response.
----------
Sure enough, the banquet hall was exquisitely decorated, with multiple banners depicting various couples kissing each other while a pony in chains was released. At the very center sat a marvelous feast, complete with glazed corn-on-the-cob, finely-chopped salads of all kinds, tomato and broccoli soups, and at the very center, a towering multi-layered cake that would put anything Ribbon's parents ever baked to shame. The foals were only down there alone a brief moment before the other adults joined, all of them more than ready to consume their meals and be done with another busy day.
The Princesses sat next to each other, with Celestia at the head and Luna to her right. The elder sister simply skipped to desert, enjoying a massive slice of cake while her sister gracefully sipped down her soup and spoke of the various ways to resolve the problems this new kink in the road presented. Cadance and Shining Armor sat next to each other, of course, sharing their meal in the way only the most sickening of sweethearts could muster. Ruby sat at Lofty's side, making sure she got plenty of vegetables despite the filly's constant attempts to subside on fatty soups and crackers.
And at the far end, surrounded by his new friends, was Prince Blueblood. Once, he was a heartless monster, but now things would be different. No longer would he seek revenge against villages for getting him dirty, or try to kidnap Princesses to arrange said destruction. He still had a lot to work on, but that could wait for another day. For the time being, he and his friends could forget all about the groundings they were about to receive, the messes they would have to work their way out of, and the fact that Leon still wouldn't be there forever.
For the moment, however, the only thing Blueblood could do was look up at the ceiling. Mom and dad, wherever you are...I'll be a pony everypony can be proud of. Not just a pampered prince, but one that will help his ponies and serve as an example to live by. That will be my addition to the Blueblood line. That will be the legacy of our family.
That will be the legacy of Leon, son of Prince Blueblood.
THE END
Bringing Up Blueblood
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
-AND-
A Flagrantly Unnecessary Spinoff of “My Little Alicorn”
By InsertAuthorHere
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
Epilogue
Two months later...
“Oh, I'll be the toast of the town, the girl on the go. I'm the type of pony everypony, everypony...”
For the fifth time that day, Rarity found herself tripping over the words to her own song. Despite coming up with the lyrics during the last trip to the filly's room during the Wonderbolts Relay, she could never get the temp just right. It just seemed to happen in random bursts. And now that she was getting ready to launch Canterlot's newest airship, not being able to sing a tune about how awesome it was to be popular wasn't working in her favor. How does Pinkie keep doing this? She must have an accordion in her head or something.
Such thoughts ceased, however, as she approached the main platform. Already, a sizable crowd was gathering to watch the launch of this, the most recent addition to the growing air travel industry. Granted, such an event was only possible after Celestia convinced the Mayor of Cloudsdale that she wasn't planning to replace the entire Pegasus race, but still this was a momentous occasion for a pony such as her. After days of rapidly ascending the social ladder, she herself was chosen to christen the ship for its maiden voyage, along with a mystery guest of some sort.
Perhaps he's charming, she thought as she finished up the last few steps. Oh, and sophisticated! A real prince charming out to sweep me off my hooves and carry me onto the airship himself! N-No, focus Rarity! Remember what happened the last time you let such thoughts take over. B-But he might still be...
And then she saw him. Standing on the stage was none other than the deposed Prince Blueblood himself, in all his full-grown glory. His luxurious blonde mane flapped about in the wind, despite there only being a slight breeze at the moment. Once again, he was dressed in his finest tuxedo, its color blending in perfectly with his coat. And then there were those adorable, soul-piercing eyes and...
“So it's true, then. You've been making a name for yourself throughout all of Canterlot with this little trip of yours.”
Rarity could feel her soul being tugged in multiple directions at once. On the one hoof, this was the same royal pain who had crushed her hopes and dreams, and then plotted to burn her home to the ground because he couldn't deal with a little frosting stain. On the other hoof, their reunion a few months prior was still fresh in her mind, and as much as she wanted to wish death upon him, possibly throw him off the balcony with one hoof, she couldn't bring herself to do so.
“Good day to you, Prince Blueblood.” Rarity's face scrunched up as she caught her mistake. “I...mean...what should one call you now these days?”
“If you want, you can keep the title in there,” Blueblood said with a smile. “Granted, I still have no royal rank, but the sentiment is nice.”
“A-hem!”
Both ponies spun about at the sound of Fancy Pants clearing his throat. “I do apologize, but we really must not keep the good captain waiting any longer. Now, there will be plenty of time to reminisce on good times afterwards, but for now, let's get on with the ceremony.”
Rarity silently nodded at her benefactor, the pony who had finally pulled her up where she belonged. Blueblood shrugged and stepped aside, revealing a champagne bottle hanging from a long ribbon. The ship's stern sat in front of her, while an old, one-eyed pony with bulging forelegs tapped his hooves impatiently. Chuckling nervously, Rarity gripped the glass container with her teeth, pulled back, and finally swung the bottle forward. Unfortunately, the current regulations required all bottles used for such christenings to be shatterproof, just in case the liquid or glass caused these newfangled ships to explode or something like that, so all the impact accomplished was giving off a slight tap before the ship went sliding down the slipway. Fortunately, the balloon itself remained sturdy, and the vessel remained hovering in the air for all to see and admire.
A massive roar of support emerged from the crowd, followed by the firing of confetti. Rarity stared at the great airship with a look of fascination and awe, both at the thing before her and the fact that she, a mere dressmaker from Ponyville, was now famous enough to be asked to do such a thing. As the ponies broke away to sample the hors d'ouevres, however, Rarity and Blueblood remained firmly in place, doing their best not to appear horribly awkward in each other's presence. Given the looks they were getting from the others, they were obviously not succeeding in that regard.
“So...I take it your 'rehabilitation' was successful?” she asked.
Blueblood smiled and shook his head. “Yes and no. Princess Celestia has allowed me to return and start working my way back into her good graces, but...”
Rarity's eyes dropped just slightly. “You know what I'm talking about. The last time I saw you, you were much, much shorter.”
“...Yes, I suppose I was.” Blueblood brushed his mane out of his eyes, his face visibly souring as he remembered the exact circumstances surrounding his current situation. “You see, the official word is that I'm little more than a criminal, working off my debt to society at Celestia's discretion. And I think I've been doing a good job so far. She has seen fit to release some of the funds she was holding to repair my family's estate, while the rest has been going to fund various charities across the entire country. I spend three nights a week at Canterlot's soup kitchens, read to foals at the hospital every Sunday, and pick up trash along the mountain highway.”
Rarity giggled at the last comment. “Really? You picking up trash?”
Blueblood opened his mouth to offer a counter-comment, but all he could do was join in the laughter. The two ponies simply stood their and took in the mockery, enjoying every moment of their time together. Of course, such things could never last long, and Blueblood's mind soon returned to something else. “I am so sorry, but I do have another obligation to attend to. I promised to meet some ponies today, and I do not think they'll be pleased if I'm late.”
“I see,” Rarity said, her voice still floaty from the sudden influx of mirth. “Well, I suppose I shouldn't hold you up. It's been...nice seeing you again. P-Perhaps we should do this some other time.”
The suggestion knocked Blueblood for a loop. Not once in all of his daily planning had he considered the possibility of Rarity actually suggesting they spend more time together. When he had hatched this scheme to speak to her to begin with, all he had sought was a sort of closure to the whole debacle. Still, he couldn't help but grin at the possibility. “Perhaps if I find myself in Ponyville, or you in Canterlot again, we can have lunch. I would love to try some of your friends...what did I call it, 'carnival fare?'”
And with that, the two gave a parting nod, and Blueblood slowly walked away. None of the other ponies in attendance seemed to pay him much mind, save for the occasional dirty look one would give a seemingly forgiven traitor. Rarity, meanwhile, stood and watched him leave, waiting until he was out of earshot before she sighed. Any possibility of a romance with the prince was obviously dead and rotting, but perhaps a friendship was still possible...
“Ah, Rarity!” Fancy Pants walked up alongside his favorite party guest, a small platter of stuffed mushrooms hovering alongside him. “You must give these a try! Straight from one of the finest restaurants in all of Canterlot!”
Rarity was momentarily shocked by the sudden intrusion, but the sight of her new friend's genuine excitement and the obviously delicious treats soon overwhelmed her thinking. Blueblood will have to wait for now. I still have Twilight's dress to finish, society events to attend to, and plenty of business contacts to make! Oh, I'll be the toast of the town...
----------
Once back into Canterlot proper, Blueblood worked his way through the busy streets, his eyes peeled for the appropriate dark alley. Sure enough, he finally found the right one sandwiched between Crazy Al's Joke Shop and the Crud 'n Buzz, two of the least-shopped establishments in the entire capital. There, at the very end of the passage, was a glowing glint of light, enchanted in such a way that it was invisible to everypony but himself. Once he was sure he was safe, the stallion slipped into the alley, passing through the illusionary field, and finally approached the ponies waiting for him: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.
“My apologies for being late,” the fallen prince said. “Rarity and I had quite a bit to talk about.”
“You were cutting it pretty close,” Luna whispered, her voice deep with frustration. “Next time we have to make a change like this, we need to do it in the castle itself. No more witnesses.”
Blueblood shrugged. “I'm sorry, but I had to do this. I owe her that much.”
Luna sighed. “As do I.”
“If we've all finished with the pleasantries,” Celestia said, her voice rushed and at a half-whisper, “we must get going. The others aren't going to be too happy if you're late.”
The Princess' horn lit up with a golden glow, which soon spread to all over Blueblood's body. The stallion closed his eyes and braced himself for the inevitable fall. Around him, the illusion began to chip away piece by piece, shrinking his frame until it was the size of a foal colt, before finally dissipating completely. The now-tiny Blueblood let out a small yelp as he fell to the ground, his body still unbalanced and nauseous after such a sudden change, but it only took a few minutes for him to fully recover. He gave a final bow and thanks before dashing off towards Canterlot Central Park.
Luna and Celestia looked up once to make sure the Pegasi guards were keeping up with him. Once satisfied that the situation was properly secured, Luna turned towards her sister, her face wrought with worry. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“He has until the Summer, at least,” Celestia replied. “By then, Twilight and Pinkie Pie should be finished going through all the members of the Pie Clan. Once we know Kuchen is gone for good, we can deal with all this in one fell swoop. We'll see where things go from then.”
“You were never worried about him until now. What happened to change your mind?”
Celestia shrugged. “I have my reasons.”
Luna would have argued the point more, but she had known her sister long enough to realize a prolonged debate would not serve them any better. “I suppose...it turned out as well as we could expect. I just hope you know what you're doing.”
----------
Blueblood's little mouth gradually opened as he drew ever closer to his waiting friends. In the midst of the park's busiest day in months, the foals were busy playing about in the sand-covered playground. Gusty and Snowball were seated on top of the jungle gym, the former flashing the approaching colt a smile that showed her missing front tooth. Smokey was busying himself with the slide, barely even acknowledging how much the metal surface was roasting his hind quarters in the sunlight. Ribbon and Buttons were far more satisfied with building a perfect sand fortress/temple for Lofty's Daring-Do toys to explore. And far away from the crowd sat Orange Peel, looking around nervously as if deciding whether he belonged in this scene or not. Ruby Dream and Seamstress, meanwhile, sat on a nearby park bench, snacks and water at the ready, talking over the former's daily tasks back at the castle and the latter's twelve-step-program.
“Fhey!” Gusty shouted, a tiny string of spittle escaping from that gaping hole in her grinders. “Abfout ftime fya phade it!”
“Heh, sorry,” Blueblood replied. “Too many grown-up things I had to deal with. What'd I miss?”
Lofty shrugged. “Not a whole lot. Daring was about to go explore the Tombs of Feather Island. Want to join?”
Blueblood scratched his chin for a little bit, then shook his head. “Nah, I think I'll settle for the slide.” He turned his head towards the orange outcast nearby. “Hey, Orange Peel! Do you want to join?”
The former bully's eyes opened wide at first, while visions of his former pummelings raced through his brain. When he could find no obvious sign of foul play or the like, however, he shrugged and walked over. “What do I have to do?”
Lofty, Ribbon and Buttons looked at each other, their eyes reflecting the deep discomfort they still felt with having their old tormentor around. Orange Peel shrank back a bit, more than expecting to be ejected and left to rot by the wayside. He was about to turn around when he heard Buttons' voice. “Y-You could be The Avian King. You know, if you want.”
Orange Peel froze for a moment, his muscles struggling to articulate the appropriate response. After a tremendous amount of effort and sheer force of will, however, the good parts of his soul finally caved in, and he knelt down to join the others in their epic quest. Sensing that his work was done, Blueblood headed off to join Smokey in the bun-baking contest.
----------
By the time Shining reached his quarters, it was already close to sunset. Every inch of his body ached and groaned with each step, his armor clanging about in a most noisy and disruptive manner. Fortunately, Cadance was already inside, looking over what remaining wedding plans they had to set. “Honey, I'm home,” the stallion chuckled.
Cadance giggled and rolled her eyes. “Shining, you've been saying that every night since we moved in together. I think you need to work on getting a new punchline.”
“What can I say? I'm too much of a soldier.” Shining trotted over to his beloved and gave her a nuzzle along the cheek, followed by a gentle bite on the ear. “They beat everypony's sense of humor out of them during basic training.”
The two chuckled briefly, engaging each other in furious hugging and nuzzling and the general behavior that lights up a poet's heart and makes a cynical pony feel like emptying his digestive system. Cadance barely had enough time to mutter her latest decision. “I've decided not to select Blueblood as my ring bearer.”
Shining pulled his head back, his eyes wide with surprise. “What? B-But I thought you guys were getting along fine! And he's still doing good during the morning drills.”
“We are,” Cadance said. “But it would just be...awkward right now. Besides, don't you think Twilight would want Spike to have a role in all this?”
The Captain of the Guard scratched his chin. “Well, I was going to let him take care of the bachelor party, but...” He froze as his wife-to-be gave him the coldest, most crushing stare he had ever experienced. It took every last fiber of his being to push back the terror welling up in his heart and smile. “I...I suppose he could do both?”
Before the lovely discussion could get any further, however, there was a knock at the bottom of their door. Shining's telekinesis pulled the wooden barrier open, revealing a sweaty, sandy, but otherwise normal colt. “Good evening,” said Blueblood.
Both of the adults looked at the foal with no small measure of happiness. While there was still plenty of uncomfortableness in this whole arrangement, a good amount of it had worn itself out over the last two months. “Looks to me like somepony enjoyed himself,” Shining said as he trotted off to get changed out of his armor.
Once he was out of the room, Blueblood nervously rubbed at the back of his neck. “A-Are you sure it's all right that I stay here? I could just move back into the room in the castle if you want.”
Cadance grinned as she hopped out of her seat. She walked over to the colt and folded one of her wings over his body, wrapping him up like a blanket. Blueblood initially winced, but settled on accepting the gesture for what it was. “It's no problem at all. Now, how about we look over those books? We still have to budget our donations for the next month.”
Blueblood grinned and nodded in agreement. Things seemed to be working out perfectly from his perspective. He had a good home for the time being, friends he cared for, and a chance to mend his broken reputation until he was ready to return. There was still a lot to do, but he could at least see the light at the end of the tunnel...
----------
Ribbon gave a little yawn as she fidgeted under her covers. While her mom was able to get her tucked in safe and sound, the bakery had gotten yet another emergency muffin order, and she had to be denied her bedtime story. Even the kiss felt rushed and not fully personal. It was as if her mommy had never put a foal to bed before in her life.
As she struggled to fall asleep, however, a familiar, comforting voice rang out around her. “You did good, Ribbon. Your friend is going to be very happy.”
“You think so?” she whispered, both out of fear of her parents hearing and because she was just tired.
“Of course. She may have taken all of my friends away, but she won't do the same to yours. And besides, isn't Leon so much happier as a colt?”
“I guess so.”
“Now, I think it's time we went to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow. Just remember, don't put too much sugar in the cookies again. A little makes it sweet, but too much ruins the flavor.”
“I'll remember.”
“Good night, my dear.”
The filly let out one last yawn before finally drifting off to slumberland. “Good night, Uncle Kuchen.”
TO BE CONTINUED...IN ANOTHER STORY